Saving Grace (Bini Ver.

)
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/57585424.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: F/F
Fandom: BINI (Philippines Band)
Relationships: Aiah Arceta/Jhoanna Robles, Aiah Arceta/Mikha Lim, Jhoanna
Robles/Colet Vergara
Characters: Jhoanna Robles, Aiah Arceta, Mikha Lim, Stacey Sevilleja, Maloi
Ricalde, Gwen Apuli, Colet Vergara, Sheena Catacutan
Additional Tags: Drama, English, Bini, Angst, Alternate Universe - Medical,
Doctor!Jhoanna, jhoaiah - Freeform
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2024-07-22 Completed: 2024-11-13 Words: 139,322
Chapters: 27/27
 Saving Grace (Bini Ver.)
by OnlyKangS

Summary

“Robles. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Arceta. Pleasure’s all mine.”

---

“Hello?”
“Ate, si Mikhs…”

---

“Good afternoon, Doc Robles...”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Sevilleja...”

That voice…

Notes

This is a re-written version of my original work so if you're a Reveluv/Wenrene stan, you've

probably read this na (or no haha) pero yeah. Tweaked it a bit lang to fit the new characters
and settings.

(Added the warning tags because some descriptions are medyo graphic (?) medically
speaking)

Written in Taglish dialogue, full English narration.

Putting this up here muna pero will post the first chapter soooon. (sana 'di ko makalimutan)

(Updates will be faster for this once I start since it's technically an already finished work, so
yeah... may isa pa akong ongoing so Eyyy nalang siguro)
((And yes may medical jargons involved ulit because gusto nating pinapahirapan sarili so Y
not))
See the end of the work for more notes
 Prologue

PROLOGUE

Loud music can be heard a few miles away from the biggest club in London. It's a Friday
night, so the place is packed with people of different purposes.

“Two glasses of Negroni,” she told the bartender.

“Alright, coming right up!”

“Make that four, and add a Daiquiri, please,” it was another voice not belonging to her. The
bartender nodded before turning around.

“Same taste, I see,” she started. It's not every day you meet someone with the same taste.

“My go-to drinks. I like them so much, I asked a bartender friend to teach me how to make
them.” The other person gave a little smirk at the end of her speech. She took the stool next
to her and took a seat.
“Oh, I'd like to see that.”

“It's fun. Trust me.” The stranger extends her hand towards her, “Robles. Pleasure to meet
you.”

She paused for a while before reaching for the hand, “Arceta. Pleasure’s all mine.”

"Ah, Pinay?"

"Yeah."

Just then, the bartender returns with five glasses. “Here you go, ladies. Enjoy.” He smiled at
both, giving Arceta a quick wink before turning to other customers.

Arceta was about to reach for her purse when Robles stopped her hand. “I got this.”

Once she paid for the drinks, Arceta thanked her shyly, not used to other people paying for
her.
“Uhh, thanks, I guess.”

The night passed by, with the two escaping the club scene and driving with one's car towards
the hotel.

The next day, Robles woke up to a messy tangle from her sheets, clothes thrown in every
direction, but no other living thing in the room except for herself.

“What… Huh?”

She inhaled deeply, picking up a sweet lavender scent that she was sure didn't belong to her.

“Oh, right. Arceta.”

She looked around, noticing that only her clothes were sprawled on the floor. No signs of
another person being there.
“I guess it's just the usual one-night stuff.”

Standing up, she dragged the sheets up with her, causing a piece of torn paper to fall off.

“Ano ‘to?” she picked the paper up, noticing a messy scribble on it.

[I HAVE TO LEAVE. SORRY TALAGA]

She read the paper twice, before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it to a nearby bin.

“Well, at least marunong sya mag sorry.”

“I guess that's the last of her.”

---
A month has passed and like any usual day, Jhoanna is way past her end of shift.

“Doc Jho, ten na. Why are you still here?” a colleague asked.

“Hi, Doc Jea. Same goes for you. I thought morning shift ka?” she asked as she stretched.

“I do, but I have to cover for Doc Jane’s shift for the day. Operation ng dad nya so she went
there.”

Jhoanna looked at the date, “Oh ngayon nga pala yun. That's nice of you.”

“Thanks, doc. But still, ba’t andito ka pa? Parang nakita na kita as early as six in the
morning.”

Jhoanna sighed a bit before slumping back to her previous position. “Katatapos ko lang ng
operation. It was tedious. Inabot kaming seven hours. But thankfully, successful.”

“All the more reason you should go home and rest. We have no use of a malfunctioning
doctor,” Jea teased, to which Jhoanna chuckled. She stretched for a bit before standing up
fully.
“Alam mo? I might actually take that offer,” she picked her bag up before flinging it to her
shoulders, “See you tomorrow?”

“Sure, doc Jho. Drive safe.”

After bidding farewell to her senior, she went straight to the parking lot, drifting out of the
exit.

“ I feel good, pag hawak mo ang aking kamay, 'di ko mainti—” she was singing with the
stereo when a loud ring cut her off.

She pressed ‘answer’ on her dashboard screen, without looking at the caller.

“Hello?”

“Doc Jho!”
“Doc Jea? Driving ako now. Anong—”

“Code blue. We need you here. ASAP.”

Hearing the code, she immediately turned her steering wheel, creating tire marks on the road.

“Be there in five.”

---

“Patient’s status?” Jhoanna asked while putting on her scrubs.

“Vital signs dropping fast, too much blood loss and concussion sa ulo. Right arm severely
injured, nasaksak ng basag na salamin sa shoulder. Object left intact. Left leg fractured,
several ribs also fractured. Doc Jao’s preparing for the blood transfusion.”

“Alright. Doc Jea, let's go.”

---

“As I was saying, composition is very important. You should know how to do it even from
the viewfinder. It's not ideal to just rely on post-processing every time.” Aiah then changed
the slide.

“The position of the subject may vary depending on how you would like to tell your story.
Angle plays a huge part in that. Take a look at these examples," she clicked on the next slide
that shows several different photographs, each showing different angles, emphasis, and story,
“you can tell from each photo what the photographer wanted to convey."

All students nodded once they saw the slide.

She smiled, satisfied with the students’ reactions.

“Now then, let's move on to the next.”

---

Everyone in the room began packing their things the moment the bell rang.

Grabbing her laptop, she strides her way out of the monotonous classroom. Finals are coming
and they need to wrap up the remaining topics.

As she was walking towards the faculty room, her phone suddenly rang.

“Hello? Staks?” she answered with a confused tone. It should be around midnight in the
Philippines at this time.

“Ate Aiah, kelan bakasyon mo?”

“Probably in two weeks pa. I'll just have to give their final project and we're done. Bakit?”

“Ate, si Mikhs…”
---
 Crossing Paths Again
Chapter Notes

Humihingi na agad ako ng kapatawaran sa mga mikhalites, ngayon pa lang 🙇‍♀️

Also, Aiah's character here will be a little stronger than her usual depiction (baka lang
magulat kayo hehe)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

CROSSING PATHS AGAIN

“Last call for the passengers of Philippine Airlines flight number PR721 bound to Manila, the
gates are about to close so please board the plane now.” The airport personnel announced.

It's a bit abrupt but she immediately booked the next possible flight she could manage back to
Manila once the call was over.

“Shit, so stupid talaga.”

She grabbed her phone and dial the same number that called her. It’ll cost her a lot but that’s
not on her mind at the moment.

“Ate?”

“How’s Mikhs?”

“Not in the best shape pero at least better than last night. Binabantayan naman sya ng mga
doktor.”

“Great. Gusto ko syang sapakin sa totoo lang.”

“Easy there. Uwi ka bang Pinas?”

“Sa airport ako now. I'm about to board the plane.”

“Seryoso ba?! Alright, see you soon. Sunduin kita.”

---

AIAH'S POV:

"All passengers, please keep your seat belts on until we land safely. We are approaching
Manila in 10 minutes. I repeat. We are approaching Manila in 10 minutes."

I can't believe that a 15-hour flight felt like forever reaching Manila.

Everything was so sudden that I barely packed anything. My stuff wouldn't even last me for
three days.

Once in the exit, I grabbed my phone and dialed the same number.

"Dito na ako sa arrivals gate. Where are you?"

"Just getting my car. Wait lang."

Just as what I’m told, I waited at the arrivals gate until a black SUV stopped right in front of
me. The windows rolled down revealing a face I wanted to see since the delivery of the bad
news.

"Sakay na. Deretso tayo sa hospital."

I opened the passenger's side, throwing my backpack behind without a care. I haven't even
had a proper meal and rest since leaving London.

"Halatang pagod ka."

"I just came from a 6-hour lecture before heading back to my apartment and grabbing
whatever I could then dashing to the airport an hour before the gates close."

I saw her smile a bit, before reaching for something in a paper bag behind her. She then
extended her hand with a sandwich in hand.

"Sabi ko nga, gutom ka for sure. Sorry, eto lang muna sa ngayon. We'll eat once we arrive
there. I'm sorry, ate Aiah."

I felt my stomach grumble at the sight of the sandwich. Without thinking twice, I grabbed the
sandwich and unpacked it immediately. This is not the time to be conscious.

"Thanks," I looked at my friend who's focusing on the road. She's driving a bit faster than
normal.

"Ano bang nangyari? I was gone for seven months and this happened."

I heard her sigh. I braced myself. This will probably piss me off.

"I know this is gonna piss you off pero naaksidente si tanga. Ang sabi, DUI."

I breathe in deeply. She's right. I'm pissed. I know we're not on good terms since I left but she
doesn't need to do this to herself. Now I feel guilty all of a sudden.
I massaged my temples which throbbed so suddenly. I can feel a headache coming.

"Shit naman, Staks. What am I gonna do with that stupid friend of yours? I swear if nature
doesn’t kill her, I will."

"Alam mo naman yun. But I never thought she’d drink that night. Okay naman kasi sya bago
kami maghiwalay nung hapon na yun eh.”

I should really talk some sense to her the next possible chance.

We arrived in front of Makati Med. Stacey has barely stopped her car when I immediately
step out of the vehicle.

“Huy, Ate! Delikado ginawa mo!”

I didn’t reply. I just wanna make my way towards her and punch the daylights out of her.
Stupid, stupid.

“Good afternoon, may I know the room of patient Mikha Lim? Naadmit sya around eleven
the other night.” I asked the receptionist hurriedly. My heart is beating frantically. I know
Stacey said that she isn’t in good shape but I’m still scared of seeing her in that state. I don’t
know what to expect when Stacey said ‘bad’.

“Ah yes. Sinugod sya dito around 11 pm. Kaano-ano nyo po ang pasyente?”

“Ako po yung bantay ngayon.”

“Okay. Sa room 127 po. Lakad lang kayo straight then kanan.”
“Okay, thank you.”

Stacey was already behind me when I finished talking to the receptionist.

“Ate, kalma. Inhale, exhale.”

“Paano ako kakalma when that idiot is up there, probably knocked out until god knows when,
and for sure, iiwas pag tinanong ko. Alam mo naman kung gaano katigas ulo nun.”

She didn’t say anything after.

Our walk was quiet, with me somehow following Stacey’s instructions of calming myself. I
probably need it the most at the moment.

Every step closer, my head hurts more. Mikha Lim, what did you get yourself into?

Stacey ushered for me to enter the opened door. Once I stepped inside, silence engulfed us,
with only the beeping of the machine and soft breathing breaking the silence.

I looked at her. Head covered in bandages, right arm in a sling with a lot of bandages going
around her body, specifically on her right shoulder. Red spots can be seen seeping through the
gauze, most probably blood. Left leg on a splint, with other parts of her body sporting some
bruises here and there. Her face is sleeping calmly, oblivious of the surroundings. I can’t help
but breathe in deeply and release a long sigh.

“Well, at least she’s still intact.”

Stacey just chuckled. “Anak ni satanas yan. Mahirap mapatumba yan.”

“Ah so kapatid mo pala?”

Both of us laughed at the thought. Stacey’s more devilish than Mikha to be honest. But
Mikha just had this knack of getting involved in serious trouble.

“I’m just gonna grab something to eat.” I picked up my purse from my bag.

“Sama na ako, ate.”

As we went out of the room, we came across some hospital personnel, with Stacey greeting
them a good afternoon. I was too busy with my phone to mind my surroundings.

“Hello po, Doc Robles. Ichecheck nyo po ba si Mikhs?”

“Good afternoon sa’yo, Ms. Sevilleja. Silipin ko sya siguro maya-maya ng onti.”

That voice.

I immediately looked up from my phone upon hearing that voice. Doc Robles?

“Robles, pleasure to meet you.”

Electricity ran past me as our eyes met. I can see her surprise as well but both of us
immediately masked it when Stacey spoke.

“Sige, Doc. Mag late lunch lang kami,” Stacey then looked at me, “By the way, this is Aiah
Arceta. Jowa ni Mikhs. Magiging madalas din sya dito so might as well introduce you two.”
 I saw Doc Robles’ one eyebrow rise, albeit briefly. Probably surprised at my relationship
with Mikha.

Shit. I completely forgot to tell Stacey about our breakup.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Arceta.”

The way Arceta rolls off her tongue. It reminded me of that night sa London.

It took me a full second late to respond. Hopefully, Stacey doesn’t catch on.

“Likewise, Doc Robles. Thank you for taking care of Mikha.”

“Just doing my job,” I saw her smirk a little, or was it just my imagination?

“Alis na muna po kami, Doc. Bye!”

For that whole month since that happened, the least I expect is to see her again. And here we
are, face to face in a very different light. Maybe fate is Satan itself.

##

Chapter End Notes

I know kinda extreme nangyari kay Mikha for this AU pero please bear with me 🙏
 Our Own Little Secret
Chapter Notes

Pardon if there are any inaccuracies

these are only based on my research.
🙏 I'm not a medical professional (far from it) and

Our Own Little Secret

AIAH'S POV:

I’ve been quiet the whole walk outside of the hospital. Well, I’m normally quiet so I hope
Stacey doesn’t probe.

“Parang sobrang tahimik mo naman mula nung lumabas tayo.” well, shit.

“I just had a lot in my mind.” And seeing Robles again, that really shook me.

“Well, makita mo ba naman jowa mong ganun, gets naman.”

We entered a nearby cafe. Guess I have to settle with pasta for now.

“Doc Robles…” I wanna ask Stacey but I don’t know what to ask.
“Sya nag-opera kay Mikhs. Na-amaze nga ako eh. Biro mo yun, naibalik nya ng buo yung
braso ni Mikhs? Sabi nila, halos putol na daw talaga kung tutuusin yung braso nya sa laki
nung salaming humiwa sa kanya.” Just imagining it made me grimaced.

“Oops, sorry. Too visual? Well, ‘di ko naman sya nakita. Nakwento lang ni Doc Jao, yung isa
sa katulong ni Doc Robles sa operation.”

We both settled ourselves in the corner table after ordering, away from other customers.

“I guess I have to thank Doc Robles for saving that idiot.” Just thinking about meeting her
again gives me goosebumps. It’ll be awkward as hell. To think that she just operated on
someone who was once dear to me.

“Actually, nakaalis na raw si Doc Robles nung time na yun. Pauwi na sana. Pero tinawagan
talaga nila sya. Sa kanya pinagkatiwala si Mikhs.”

“The more I have to thank her. I guess I have to talk to her later.”

“Onga pala, ate Aiah,” Stacey took a bite of her burger, “Okay lang ba na ikaw muna
magbantay tonight?”

I looked at her. What does she mean?

“Huh?”

“May need ako asikasuhin kasi. Do you mind if you stay with Mikhs tonight? I know you’re
not in good terms with her right now and for sure gusto mong humiga sa totoong kama pero
need ko kausapin yung insurance company at yung property owner ng binangga nung tanga.”

There’s no one else other than me and Stacey so it’s only logical to do so. But as she said,
we’re not on good terms, plus, I’m still tired from going straight from class to my flight.
But I guess I have no choice. Besides, I have to talk to Doc Robles about her condition
anyway.

Doc Robles…

“So you’ll do it?”

I sigh, “May choice ba ako?”

---

NO ONE'S POV:

"Balik ako by morning. Tawag ka if may mangyari, okay?"

"Sure, Staks. Take care."

As soon as Stacey left, she felt chills down her spine. She doesn't know if it's just too cold or
the sudden lack of noise did it.

"Hays… ano bang ginagawa mo, Mikha Lim?"

She grabbed her phone and her pack of cigarettes. It’s been a long day and she needs some
relief.
“I’ll just smoke for a bit. Don’t go anywhere,” she giggled a bit, realizing how stupid her
request sounded, “as if you could move in that state. I bet you couldn’t even hear me.”

She went outside, looking around for any smoking area sign.

While walking, for the second time that day, she bumped into the person she never thought
she’d see again after that night.

They stayed quiet for some time until Aiah spoke up.

“Do you know where the smoking area is?” she asked steadily. She suddenly felt cold around
her presence.

“Of course. Follow me.”

--

The two were walking quietly, neither planning to break the ice. It was a different
circumstance when they met earlier, with Stacey being around. Now that it’s only the two of
them, the atmosphere’s completely different.

Once they arrived, Aiah grabbed her lighter and lit up a stick held by her lips. Seeing that the
doctor wasn’t leaving anytime soon, she offered her some cigarettes out of courtesy, which
the latter accepted, surprising Aiah.

“I never expected you to be smoking.” Aiah chuckled. She’s a doctor, anyway. It’s quite out
of character.
“Then why did you offer?”

“Wala lang. Out of courtesy?”

They both laughed lightly, smoke swirling around them.

“Patapos na rin naman shift ko. Might as well blow some steam off.”

They stayed quiet for a while, with Aiah finishing her first stick. She was about to grab
another one when the doctor spoke.

“So, that patient,” she flicked the ashes away, “Mikha Lim, girlfriend mo?”

Aiah dropped her gaze, afraid to look at her. She has only known the doctor from the bar, and
bed, anyway so basically, she has no idea about the person in front of her. She might be
judging her for all she knew.

“Uhh, yeah. Wait, no. We broke things off not too long ago. I forgot to tell Stacey kaya she
thought we're still together.”

“Oh... At least..." the doctor nodded in understanding. "Gaano na kayo katagal, if I may ask?”

“We’ve been together since uni days. Then, I left for London about seven months ago.”

“So, mga eight or nine years?”

Aiah just smiled bitterly. It’s been a bit longer but it doesn’t feel like it, with half of those
periods probably them arguing.

“Make that eleven.”

“Hmm,” Jhoanna just nodded. Aiah looked at her, figuring out what she was thinking. She
could be judging her for the act they've done back in London.

Shit, she realized. No one should know that.

But in her defense, they’d already broken up when she met the doctor at the bar.

“Relax, ‘di naman ako nangangagat. You look so tense,” the doctor chuckled a bit.

She threw away the cigarette butt in the trash bin before turning back at Aiah.

“I’m gonna go ahead. Gonna freshen up first before I check up on your ex,” and with that,
Aiah was left alone in the smoking area, watching the doctor’s back disappearing slowly.

---

Aiah just came out of the toilet when she heard a soft knock on the door. Probably the doctor,
she thought.

She opened the door to a smiling familiar doctor, traces of cigarette smoke all gone.
“I’m just doing my usual rounds so ‘di naman ako tatagal. Did I wake you?”

“N-no naman. Kaka-cr ko lang actually.”

“Alright then.”

She moved aside to let the doctor enter the room. She has her clipboard at hand and her
spectacles sitting on the bridge of her nose. It’s the first time Aiah saw her in specs. She
realized how good she looked with those, but of course, she wouldn’t say it, nor admit it.

“So based on her stats, her vital signs are still a bit unstable, but at least medyo
nagnonormalize na yung heartbeat nya. Maswerte sya, walang major nerve na natamaan ng
bubog. Yung katawan nya, nabigla sa lakas ng impact nung unang dinala sya dito. Pero the
concussion in her head, we have to monitor her. Masama tama ng ulo nya, damaging her
skull in the process. Lumipad daw sya palabas ng windshield, sabi ng mga witnesses.”

“Is she gonna be alright?”

“Hmm, to be honest, medyo mahirap sabihin at this point. Although physically, she’s
recovering naman, like yung mga bruises nya, mga fractures, and stitches. But her
psychological state may have also been affected. Baka matagalan pa before she wakes up. Sa
totoo lang, she wouldn’t have made it if it was a minute too late.” She paused for a bit, letting
Aiah absorb everything she’s saying. She’s trying her best not to sound too technical for the
other girl’s sake. She’s someone dear to her, after all, so she should know the situation
clearly.

Aiah can’t help but look at the young doctor intensely while the latter’s checking her
clipboard. It’s the same face she’s with that night about a month ago and yet, it feels different.
Perhaps the white coat made the difference, Aiah thought. Her lips and gums look as healthy
as ever, no sign that she’s a smoker. Probably only an occasional smoker when stress gets to
her. Her face tells her that they don’t differ much in age. She might be around her late 20s or
early 30s. She does look quite young for a doctor.
“Her fractures might take some time healing, lalo na sa shoulder area. Malaki naging damage
nung piraso ng windshield sa muscle tissues nya. I did my best to put them back into one
piece, though. Malalaman pa natin kung magkakaroon sya ng permanent brain damage once
the MRI scans are released.”

The doctor paused for a bit, before looking in Aiah's direction.

“Yes?” her thoughts were disrupted by Jhoanna’s voice.

“Uh, wala naman. Thanks for checking up on her, Doc Robles.”

“You’re most welcome, Ms. Arceta,” the way Jhoanna says her last name makes her feel
things again. Aiah can’t help but blush a bit.

“Oh, and by the way,” she continued, which caught Aiah’s attention, “don’t worry about that.
It’s our own little secret,” the doctor smiled at her before leaving her alone with an
unconscious Mikha. She clearly knows what that means. She’s just thankful Stacey isn’t here
to interrogate her.

Once left alone, she looked around the room and observed the surroundings. She’s thankful
enough that there’s an extra bed for her to sleep in. She badly needed one, anyway. There’s a
fridge on the corner, beside the door going to the bathroom. There’s a shower, sink, and toilet,
almost like a hotel. A small TV is situated in the opposite corner, installed with cable. Other
necessities such as a telephone, basic toiletries, and personal storage, are also present. It’s a
fully air-conditioned private room anyway so she doesn’t need to worry about privacy. She
should thank Stacey tomorrow for putting her in a decent room at least. She’ll worry about
the bill later.

She grabbed one set of clothing from her travel bag and grabbed some toiletries from the
table. She’s already feeling sticky all over and even though she’s really sleepy, she knows she
won’t be able to sleep unless she takes a bath.
-

After a hot, relaxing bath, she was brushing her hair when her attention went to the lying
figure on the bed, full of bandages. But despite that, the calming face didn’t change. It’s still
the same, fox-like face she once loved.

“Bakit ba sobrang tigas ng ulo mo? Do I really have to be by your side so you’ll stop being
reckless?” she said, despite knowing that the person she was referring to would not respond.

“I know I should’ve reconsidered London but you didn’t have to do this to yourself. I hated
leaving you also but I have to do it. Sabi ko naman, babalik ako. But you didn’t have to do
this to make me come back.” She sat down on the other bed, feeling the sudden tiredness
washing all over her body. She decided that now was a good time to speak her mind. It has
been stressing her out for some time. Besides, the other girl wouldn’t hear her anyway.

She observed the sleeping face of her past lover, remembering a lot of things on her mind.
“Most of the time, you’re unreasonable. You’re always paranoid. There are too many times
that we fought after numerous times you came to my apartment, drunk. I’ve caught you with
other guys and girls, not just once,” she gave out a defeated sigh.

“Since that day, you’ve changed tremendously. I’m trying my best here, pero nakakapagod
din, to be honest, Mikhs,” she sighs before lying down. She had put the lights on dim so it
wouldn’t be too blinding to sleep. She turned sideways so she’s facing her ex-lover.

“Sobrang pagod na ako, mentally and physically. Pero Mikhs naman, kahit wala na tayo,
you’re still part of my life. You’ve been there ever since. That’s why I’m here to stay.”

She closed her eyes, feeling sleep dawning upon her.

“I just hope that you realize that.”

With that last note, she fell deep into slumber.

##
 T'was Once Our Home
Chapter Notes

Quick update lang habang nagrerender ng video (work-related lol)

T'WAS ONCE OUR HOME

The next morning greeted her with Stacey sitting on the sofa seemingly busy with her phone.
The brightness coming from the opened window already gave her an idea of the time but she
wanted to make sure.

“Staks? What time is it?”

“Good morning naman sayo, ‘te Aiah. 10am na po.”

“Since when are you here? Ba’t ‘di mo ako ginising?”

“Dumating ako kaninang mga 9am. Feeling ko kasi sobrang pagod ka pa kaya hinayaan lang
kita.”

She looked outside the window and indeed, it was already bright outside, too hot to do a
morning stroll.
She was in the middle of stretching when her stomach rumbled. It didn’t escape Stacey’s ears,
which caused a few giggles from the girl.

“Okay lang yan, ‘te. No need to be embarrassed.” She stood up and grabbed a paper bag
resting on the table.

“I guess you need this now. Pero mag mumog ka muna, please.”

She looked at the paper bag and noticed that it was takeout from Subway.

“Thanks, Staks. I didn't have anything last night kaya siguro gutom din ako.”

“Hindi sya galing sa'kin, though.”

Aiah stopped midway while going to the bathroom. She looked at Stacey with one brow
raised.

“Huh?”

“Pinaabot lang nung isang staff sa'kin kanina pagkarating ko. May nagpapabigay daw.”

Being more confused than ever, she went back to the bed and checked the contents of the
bag. It’s a steak, egg, and cheese sandwich. At least it’s something she’s not allergic to.

A note fell from the inside with a messy scribble.

[Ms. Arceta.

I’m not sure what you want but I hope this will be enough. Good morning!
P.S., I know hospital food sucks.]

There was no name written so she has no clue as to who gave it to her.

“So, kanino galing?”

“I don’t know. Walang sinabi yung staff eh.”

Regardless of who gave it to her, she didn’t hesitate to eat it since her stomach’s practically
begging for it. And given that her name’s written on it, and a staff gave it to her, she assumes
it’s safe to eat the sandwich despite not knowing who’s it from. Well, she's already in the
hospital, anyway, so what's there to risk?

“Uwi ka muna, ate Aiah. Take a proper rest. Ako muna dito hanggang makarecover ka.” Aiah
just came out of the bathroom, now in her tee and jeans.

“Thanks, Staks.”

She was tying her shoes when she remembered something. “Nakausap ko na rin pala si Doc
Robles last night.”

“Oh? Anong sabi nya?”

“We might be here for a little while. Hindi pa rin nila masabi kelan sya magigising. From the
looks of it, she’s not at all in a good condition.”

She saw Stacey pinching the bridge of her nose. They were surely not expecting this
predicament.
“Alright. Gawan ko nalang ng paraan. Kelan mo pala need bumalik ng London?”

“I can stay for a bit longer. I can email my students their final project naman. I just have to
ask them for a substitute in the meantime. Mas kelangan nyo ako dito.”

“Sige, ‘di na kita kokontrahin dyan.”

She grabbed her bag and slipped her arms on the strap. “Call me lang pag need mo ng
replacement.”

“Okay,” she suddenly tossed a set of keys to her, also thanking her reflexes for catching it,
“dala ko kotse mo since hiniram ng pinsan ko Monty ko last night. Naisip ko rin, baka miss
mo na. Dyan na rin house keys mo.”

She checked the set and as Stacey said, it consisted of her car keys, main house key, and other
keys needed around her place. She remembered that she left the keys to Stacey since she was
still mad at Mikha at the time.

---

On the way towards the exit, she was on her phone when she bumped shoulders with
someone.

“Omg, I’m sorry,” she bowed a bit to the person.

“It’s fine.” The speaker’s voice made her stand up abruptly.

“Good morning, Ms. Arceta.” Doc Robles smiled.

“Uh, good morning, doc,” her smile was unsure.

Jhoanna looked at her from head to toe. She noticed a medium-sized traveling bag strapped
on the other’s back. “Going home? Dumating na si Ms. Sevilleja?”

“Yeah. I needed a good rest so tinaboy na nya ako pauwi.”

“That’s good."

Aiah nodded and was about to walk away when Doc Robles spoke up again.

"I hope wala kang any allergies sa palaman nung sub. Not sure anong gusto mo so I just got
the same one as what I had." She was about to ask when she suddenly remembered about the
sandwich.

"Galing pala sa’yo yun?"

"Uh, yeah," she started scratching her head. She looked away shyly. "I just thought that you
might be hungry since ‘di kita nakitang kumain last night," Jhoanna reasoned. That is true,
but she left out the part where she heard the older girl’s stomach when she visited early this
morning, which made her giggle internally.

Aiah can't help but smile at the thoughtful gesture, although she finds it weird.

"Thank you. I really needed that."

She can see the relief on the doctor's face, which she finds adorable. She must've been really
shy and nervous about it.

"Oh, and I'm glad you got steak. I don’t really eat chicken that much."

"Okay. Noted, Ms. Arceta." Aiah can't help but be affected every time Jhoanna calls her like
that.

"I'll get going now."

"Be safe, Ms. Arceta."

---

It took thirty minutes before she reached her place.

Upon looking at the outside, nothing seems to change. She did entrust her place to Stacey for
the period of her absence.

She tossed her travel bag aside before heading straight to her bed. Weirdly enough, even
though she hadn't been here for several months, the sheets smelled fresh, with a tinge of that
fruity smell she'd grown familiar with.

"Mikhs…"

She knows for a fact that Mikha has been staying here from time to time during her absence.
Despite trusting Stacey with her keys, she knows Mikha asked for it once she left for London.
Being with the two for more than a decade, she knows how their minds work. She didn’t have
to ask to know.

She lay down, staring straight at the ceiling. Even the soreness of her body can't bring her to
fall asleep.

She sat up, looking around. She missed her own room. She's been sharing an apartment with
her colleague in London. Although she has her own privacy and everything there, it still feels
different than her own room back here. Besides, every intimate moment with Mikha,
happened within these four walls.

She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling Mikha's scent. She guessed that the girl had slept
here before the accident.

Eyes opened, she scanned her surroundings. Nothing seems to be out of place except for a
sketchbook and a red pencil case resting on top of her study table which definitely doesn't
belong to her.

Mikha.

##
 An Artist's Muse
Chapter Summary

A little bit of Stacey, Mikha, and Aiah's history and how they met.

AN ARTIST'S MUSE

Mikha's an artist. She's a photographer. They met during college. Stacey has been Mikha's
friend since childhood, but just like Aiah, she also majored in photography. Aiah's a year
ahead of the two.

They met when Aiah badly needed a subject for one of her major courses and here came
Stacey to the rescue, offering her childhood friend to her.

"Ay, ‘te. May kilala akong makakatulong sa’yo."

Stacey's friend agreed, in exchange that she'll be her subject once she needs one. Aiah agreed
in a heartbeat as a sign of gratitude to the latter.
The next school year, Mikha shyly approached Aiah, deciding not to ask her through Stacey
since she would surely tease her for this. They had an agreement anyway when she posed as
Aiah’s subject.

"Uh, ate Aiah. I know I asked you last semester if you could pose as my subject if I needed
one so I'll ask anyway. But you can always decline naman if you don't want to."

"Hey, Aiah's fine. And don't be shy to ask. I owe you one anyway. So how can I help you?"

Mikha scratched her head. It's not a simple task. And it's not like they're really close with
each other. They only talk occasionally whenever they meet because of Stacey.

"Well, I kinda needed a 'muse' for a series we have to make for one of my majors. It'll be a
long-running project so it might be burthensome for you."

"Anong topic nyo?"

"We haven't decided yet but the theme for each will be chosen via draw lots daw."

"Well, either way, I'll help you. I'll be your muse."

---

The next time they met, Mikha had trouble looking at Aiah. The topic has been decided for
each and with the one assigned to her, she's confident that Aiah will decline. Why, of all
possible themes, she really had to get that one.

"So, do you have a theme yet?" Aiah asked, smilingly. She's kinda excited to help the
younger girl. She's been in debt to the girl since Mikha saved her in one of her majors last
semester.

"Y-yeah. But…"

Aiah looked at her, confused. She doesn't understand why the other girl is acting all shy and
embarrassed in front of her.

"But...?" she urged her to continue.

"I doubt you'll be happy with it."

"Bakit?"

Instead of an answer, Mikha gave her a piece of paper with the theme and instructions written
on it.

She can only widen her eyes.

"You can back out if you feel uncomfortable with it. I'll just look for someone else, or maybe
just pay for a professional so it wouldn't be troublesome for you."

Mikha was about to pull the paper away from Aiah's hand when she suddenly folded it and
kept it in her pocket.

"No, It's fine with me. Nagpromise ako, diba?

"R-really?! Are you sure you're willing to do this?"

"Hmm, ikaw naman yan eh, so I guess it's fine."

---

It's the first weekend since they started the project. They're in Mikha’s house, and thankfully,
her parents and brother are out, or else, this is gonna be so awkward.

"So, the first subtopic of the series is 'Ethereal'?" Aiah asked while reading the instructions
she had gotten from Mikha before.

Basically, there's the main theme, and then under that, there are subtopics, that's why it will
be a series of paintings. They have to depict the subtopic without leaning away from the main
theme. And for this week, it's 'ethereal'.

"Yeah. You just have to do a certain pose then ako na bahala sa iba."

"Okay. It's all up to you, Mikha."

Both of them stayed quiet for a moment, obvious nervousness surrounding them.
"Uhh, you can change in the bathroom." She then pointed to her left where the bathroom was
located.

"I'll just take a few minutes." Aiah stood up from her chair before heading towards the
bathroom.

Few minutes later, she came out of the bathroom wearing a robe.

"I'll just remove this when we start," she explained.

Mikha tried her best to focus on setting up their makeshift studio – their garage – while Aiah
fixed her hair. She's feeling a little dizzy knowing that Aiah's wearing her bathrobe with
almost nothing underneath. She had to shake her head to clear her mind.

She placed a monoblock in the middle of a backdrop made of black cloth.

"You may sit here. Then use this veil however you think best fits the topic." She gave her a
golden veil.

"Okay, thanks."
"Is it okay if may blindfold ka? Meron akong black silk to cover your eyes." Without another
word, Mikha approached Aiah as if she's walking on eggshells. She's getting nervous with
every inch closer.

Aiah's exposed nape is facing her, making her feel butterflies in her stomach. It's like a
renaissance art that you're so tempted to touch but you know that you should never touch
those displayed in museums. That's how Mikha sees it.

"Okay, please close your eyes." Aiah helped her adjust the placement of the cloth while she
tied it behind her head. She's just hopeful that Aiah won't notice her trembling hands because
boy, her hands are shaking like an engine right now.

"Nanginginig ka, Mikha," Aiah mentioned with a hint of mischief. She's finding this Mikha
absolutely adorable right now.

"Uh... Well..."

"Relax. Tayo lang naman andito. Okay?"

That's exactly why I'm trembling, Mikha thought.

What seemed like a few minutes felt like years while she's tying, or in this case, attempting to
tie the cloth. For some reason, her hands won't cooperate with her, and with the cloth being
slippery, it doesn't help at all. Aiah seemed to sense it which made her giggle a bit.

"You're adorable, alam mo ba?"

Mikha really thought she short-circuited at the moment.

"I... hehe..."

Once done, it took her milliseconds to return behind her canvas. Any more of that and she
might melt on the spot like paint.

As she sets up her canvas on her easel, Aiah sits on the monoblock, with her back facing the
other girl. She started removing her robe, exposing her bare back. She held the veil around
her body, running it elegantly over her shoulders, around her slender arms. She tilted her head
to the side so she was still looking at Mikha while her body was turned away.

"Please bear with me. I've never done this before." Aiah may look relaxed on the outside but
she’s about to have a nervous breakdown on the inside. Never in her life had she shown her
bareness to anyone, not even to Stacey who did the same theme before. She doesn’t even
know how she was able to agree to this, with someone she barely knew. Perhaps she just felt
that it’s alright if it’s Mikha, for some unknown reason.
On the other side of the canvas, Mikha had to stop and breathe in at the sight in front of her.

Ethereal is the only word to describe the woman in front of her.

Unbeknownst to her, she actually found her muse. A muse perfect for her art.

[NUE: ETHEREAL]

##
 Intertwined Souls
Chapter Notes

We're still in the flashback timeline on this one :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

INTERTWINED SOULS

The whole semester went by with their weekends spent with each other.

The series ran throughout the whole term, with different subtopics each week. At the end of
the semester, they have to hold a mini-exhibit of their paintings as the final requirement to
pass the subject.

During those periods, they became closer to each other, with Mikha talking about random
stuff with Aiah to lessen the awkwardness, though the last subtopic didn't really help them.

Mikha can't even believe Aiah's suggestion.

'Sensual' was the last topic. And Aiah has this great idea to involve her.
"Pero, paano ako magpe-paint kung magpo-pose ako?" she argued. She isn't liking where this
is going.

"Picturan nalang natin then you can use that as your reference."

She wanted to rebut but failed to think of another excuse.

Aiah's suggestion is actually great. What she doesn't like about it is that she will be involved,
and she meant physically. That, and Aiah’s pretty persistent when she sets her mind on it.

With no other choice, she sat down on one of the monoblocks with her back facing the
camera. Aiah sat on the other chair, facing the camera entirely but using Mikha's body as a
shield for her body. She placed her chin over Mikha's shoulder. She hid the latter’s face in the
crook of her neck, only exposing the lower part of her face. Once satisfied with their pose,
she clicked on the remote and three seconds later, the flash went on.

Mikha had to hold her breath the whole time. She isn't prepared to be in a really close
proximity with her muse, let alone, exposed. She can feel almost every inch of Aiah's body
on hers. Plus, she has this weird feeling in her stomach whenever Aiah’s around.

On the other hand, Aiah's praying that goosebumps won't show on her body. She can feel
Mikha's soft breaths on her neck. She can feel the latter’s chest over her own. She doesn’t
really know why she came up with the idea. It’s just that when she read the last topic, the first
thing that entered her mind was Mikha.

Once done, the two immediately disperse, not to further the awkwardness already starting to
build up.

"See? It came out great! Perfect as the series finale." Aiah showed her the screen of her
camera. Indeed, it looks like a million-dollar portrait.

"Okay, I gotta admit, that is great."

Until that night, she can't go on with the painting without feeling hot all around her body.

---

Mikha had invited her to come to the exhibit in the school hall. She's her muse, after all. Plus,
she wasn't able to see the finished product of the last of the series.

Aiah and Stacey entered the hall already packed with students and faculty. Mikha's pieces
were chosen as part of the highlights for the exhibit.
While walking, she can feel eyes on her, probably recognizing her from Mikha's paintings.
Thank goodness all of Mikha’s paintings are blindfolded.

"Mukhang nai-market ka na talaga ni Mikhs dito ah," Stacey teased.

"Shut up, I'm not that marketa-" she suddenly collided with Stacey when the latter stopped
walking abruptly.

"Bakit ka tumi–"

"Gagi ang ganda…" was all Stacey could muster.

Aiah looked at where Stacey's looking and indeed, her breath was taken away.

She never thought she could see herself in a different light.

The title of her exhibit was simply 'NUE', which she remembered from one of her foreign
language classes. It's a French word that means nude. A simple and straightforward title.
Exactly what Mikha’s main theme is.
What caught most of the spectators' attention is that it's one of the most daring topics in the
exhibit.

But what caught her attention is the consistency of Mikha's works. In some of the other
artists' series, they used different models for different topics. But Mikha's? It's all her.

"Grabe, sobrang ganda mo naman dito, ate Aiah. Parang hindi na makatotohanan. I don't
know how Mikhs did it but she did your beauty justice."

Aiah failed at words, only able to blush at the sudden statement.

One elderly woman approached the first of the series, "Ethereal" closely, observing it
carefully before looking at the other parts of the series. She then looked at Aiah's direction,
observing her.

She gave out a knowing smile, "Hmm, I think gets ko bakit ikaw lang ang muse nya for her
series." She then walked away to check others' works, leaving Aiah and Stacey confused.

"Kilala mo sya?" Aiah asked.

"Not really pero parang nakita ko sya sa faculty room of arts."

A few moments later, the owner of the series finally emerged from a closed door far down the
hall, probably the storage room.

"Staks! Aiah! Glad you guys can make it." She then hugged the two.

"Hayup ka, Mikhs. Sobrang halimaw sa galing!" Stacey gushed over her friend to which Aiah
just laughed.

Mikha shyly looked down, not meeting anyone's eye. Her cheeks are obviously turning pink.
"Well, I had a great muse." Aiah reflected her color upon hearing the comment.

Suddenly, a group of friends, probably sophomores, approached her exhibit, all gushing over
the series. What caught their attention the most is the final part of the series – "Sensual".

Despite only Aiah's blindfolded face being shown, it's clear that the painting shows two girls,
breaking the norm in a conservative country. A lot of people admire her for doing it. But also
a lot of them can't help but compliment the main muse.

"Wow, seems like she found the perfect muse."

"Grabe si ate Mikha, idol ko talaga sya eh."

"Sino kaya yung muse nya? Sobrang galing, nararamdaman ko ung soul nung muse nya kahit
sa paintings lang."

“Grabe si ate Mikha. Sya yung artist pero pwedeng pwede rin maging model.”

Aiah was glad they were standing a few meters away from the crowd. She doesn't really want
to attract too much attention, although she already did on most parts.

She then looked at the artist whose smile can't be erased.

"They love it, Mikha. Sasbi sa’yo, we can do it, " she suddenly gave Mikha a bear hug
without any warning, rendering the younger frozen.

It took her a full two seconds before she reciprocated the hug, giving a tighter one.

“I’m only an interpreter. I won’t be inspired kung hindi naman dahil sa’yo eh.”
Stacey, who’s just standing on the side, smiled at her two friends. She knows those two have
started developing but neither was aware of it. Especially Mikha. She knows that girl has a
soft spot for pretty faces, let alone seeing them practically every week.

The exhibit went very well for Mikha’s class, especially for her. For one, there are actually
several arts enthusiasts and collectors who went there and were asking if Mikha’s selling her
pieces. Some are even willing to pay five digits just to get a piece of her work.

After much thinking, she just smiled apologetically to them, shook her head, and explained
her reason.

“Parang hindi ko po kayang ibenta. They hold sentimental value for me.”

The enthusiasts and collectors nodded in understanding, especially after seeing the muse of
her paintings standing beside her, looking proud of the young artist.

Instead, they just asked for her contact details and maybe call her for future projects.

After the successful Friday, and after confirming that Mikha did get that deserving uno for
her exhibit class, the three went on to celebrate in a famous bar Stacey was dying to go to.
They went there with Stacey’s car.
---

MIKHA'S POV :

“To Mikha’s unbelievable talent!”

“To Aiah’s undeniable beauty!”

All of us were having fun, cheering and dancing in our own world.

It’s been a tiring, but fun day for us. I was able to show my artworks to the people. I was able
to show your beauty and elegance to them.

I still can’t believe we’re able to go through with this. All those awkward weekends were
worth it, well, those were mostly me being awkward anyway . And somehow, during those
days, I’m beginning to ask a lot of questions to myself.

An hour into the celebration, Stacey was already red from all the alcohol she took, flirting
with the hot bartender, who’s already too enthralled by the woman to stop giving her free
drinks. Stacey’s a charmer, that I can’t deny.

I heard your chuckle beside me. We’re both looking at our friend and that poor bartender.

Taking a few more sips of my drink, I felt a good burning sensation that went through my
throat. It’s been a long time since we drinked like this.

I looked at you beside me. I don’t know if it’s the dim lighting, the alcohol, or it’s just that
you look so enchanting tonight. A true ethereal being.

“Hey, Aiah…” I called albeit shyly. I tried my best to focus but I can feel my surroundings
moving a bit. I can also feel my body heating up already. I did have several shots of vodka
anyway.

“Yeah?” you were no better. Your ears are red and you’re starting to drag your words.

“I just… wanna thank you properly. Y’know? For agreeing to this.”

You smiled so charmingly. I don’t know if it’s because of what I said or is it how I probably
looked like right now.
“Heeey, it’s no big deal. I’m glad that I could help you out. If you ask me to do it again, I’ll
gladly pose for you again,” you winked at me in a way that I can describe as… flirty? I’m not
sure myself. I know alcohol’s getting into my system.

I took this time to observe you closely. Seeing how smooth your skin is, I can’t help but be
compelled to touch it. I reached my hand out slowly, lightly putting my finger over your
cheeks. I know it’ll be as smooth as a baby’s skin and you did not disappoint. “You know,
even though I’ve been painting you for the past few months, I’ve never actually observed
your face up close.”

You’re blindfolded in all the paintings I’ve done. And also, I tend to look away from time to
time while observing your face. I know you won’t be able to see me but I just felt like you’ll
feel it.

“Hm?” you raised your right brow. You have that glint in your eyes that I can’t explain. Are
you drunk already? I wonder.

“It’s just, I’m afraid to look at you directly. I don’t know how it’ll affect me. Kaya saglit lang
ako tumitingin sa mukha mo. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stop what I’m feeling inside.”

I’ve been bothered by this ‘thing’ that I’ve been feeling ever since we started the series. It’s
something that I wish I could easily brush off. And the weird part? I’m only feeling this when
it’s with you.
Instead of a direct answer, you moved closer to me, taking my personal space. I felt your
delicate fingers on my chin, raising my head slightly. I was having an internal panic attack at
the moment. I can smell the vodka you drank earlier from your breath with the distance
between us.

You slowly turned my head towards you, inadvertently making my gaze turn to your eyes as
deep as an abyss.

“What’s stopping you?” you asked. Right. What’s stopping me?

“I… don’t know,” I answered back. I can’t even explain what this feeling is. It’s the first time
I’ve felt this way and it’s elating honestly. If it were me, I wouldn't stop it.

“Well, who told you to stop your feelings?” your words were spoken in a hushed manner. But
even with the music blaring behind, I can hear you clearly. I can feel your hot breath hitting
my face.

Slowly, I felt being pulled by your eyes. Those eyes that I never thought would attract me like
this. It seems as if it speaks to my soul. Come to me, it says.

This is something I’ve never felt before, but at the moment, all I could think about is you. My
mind echoes inside, I want you.
As if I heard your soul, I leaned in, not thinking of the aftermath. I just want to feel those
plump lips of yours on mine.

No thoughts, head empty. I let myself lose in your lips as if it’s the last thing I want to feel.

---

AIAH'S POV:

We called for a taxi after calling Stacey’s cousin to pick her up. She’s already passed out that
I don’t know what to do with her. Good thing the bartender is kind enough to watch out for
her.

It took a little less than 30 minutes before we reached my apartment. You’ve been leaning on
my shoulder the whole ride. I’m not sure if you’re awake or not.

“Mikhs, this is my stop,” I gave you a soft shake. You just barely moved. Looks like you had
a bit too much drink tonight.

“Mmkay,” was your only response.

“See you tomorrow, okay? Ingat ka.”

I was about to close the door when you suddenly block the door. You went out of the taxi,
motioning for the driver to leave.

This left me confused and kinda amused at the same time. You didn’t inform me that you
wanted to sleep over tonight, let alone, after that.

You walked towards me, almost tripping on the sidewalk. Thank god for my reflexes or else
you might already have a bruise somewhere.

“Can I… crash your place?” you asked cutely. You’re practically hanging onto me at this
time. I can’t believe how lightweight you are. This is getting funnier.

“Lumabas ka ng taxi at pinaalis si kuya, and you’re just asking me now if you can crash at
my place?” I asked her teasingly.

“I… but…” your incoherence almost broke my ‘serious’ facade. I swear I could keep you in
my pocket for being so cute.
“What if I don’t let you?” I tried being serious one more time. Just for laughs.

“Oh…” disappointment was immediately painted on your face. I suddenly felt guilty for
teasing you in this state. You let go of my arms and tried walking away but your drunkass
didn’t allow you. I caught you for the second time that night.

As much as I’m having fun teasing you, I have to address your drunken state first. That, and
I’m also feeling a little bit dizzy already.

“Stupid. Come here.” I can’t resist this poor being. I assisted you walking towards my
apartment. You’re practically halfway unconscious so I have to drag you inside. Good thing
I’m a little taller than you.

Right. I forgot to clean my stuff on the sofa again. Guess you’ll be sleeping upstairs then.

It took me a whole lot of effort to carry you upstairs, towards my room. I’m starting to hate
myself why I converted my guest room to a storage room.

“Almost t-there…”

Finally we’re at the foot of my bed. I let go of you, letting you fall completely but then I
suddenly felt your hand grab my arm, making me fall with you as well. I managed to hold
myself so I wouldn’t crash on you.
The next thing I know, I’m hovering on top of an intoxicated you.

“Hello.” you just smiled goofily. I’m not sure if you’re still aware of your surroundings. You
reached your hand up, reenacting what you’ve done earlier at the bar.

Slowly, I felt your fingers on my cheeks, leaving feathery touches. It’s so light that it’s giving
goosebumps all over my body. I felt you move from my cheek, to my ear, down to my chin,
as if memorizing each of my features. Your caress has been making me float with the clouds
lately.

I took the chance, grabbing your hand before you let it down. But instead, I intertwined our
hands, eliciting a small smile from you.

“Hi,” I said back. I might have sounded silly but who cares? I can feel butterflies playing
inside my gut.

With hands still intertwined, I stared at your wide eyes that carried the gentleness of your
soul. I’ve never felt this vulnerable to a person before, let alone a woman. I can feel your eyes
staring right through my very soul. Those are the very same eyes that have been giving me all
these sparks and butterflies inside of me for the past few months.

Your next words felt like heaven's praises. “Ethereal perfectly describes you, Maraiah.”
There are only a few inches of space between our faces. Slowly, these minute distance
diminishes, having your perfect lips synchronize with mine. It was perfect. Better than the
first.

It was gentle, comfortable. No hint of aggressiveness or unsureness. I can feel both of our
souls intertwining through our lips. It felt like all those weeks of questions and doubt, I found
the answer.

I didn’t know this feeling before. But this kiss gave me an answer.

I was yearning. Yearning for you.

We parted slowly, leaving a mere inch between our faces. I can feel you catching your breath.

“Maraiah…” you softly called.

“Hm?”

You looked at me again in the eyes. There’s a certain spark that ignites within those.
 “Can you be the muse of my life?”

Instead of words, I leaned down once more, making our souls intertwined for the second time
that night.

##

Chapter End Notes

Off-topic pero at least check these links out and let's spread awareness:

Useful thread of sources and information about the current ongoing genocide
BDSMovement.net

Also, remember to educate others in a way without shaming and mocking those who are
unaware :)
 Getting Close?
Chapter Summary

Doc and Aiah getting close? Mikha's history. What happened to London...

Chapter Notes

TW: Mention of Trauma, accidents

See the end of the chapter for more notes

GETTING CLOSE?

It's been more than a week since the accident happened. She's mostly on autopilot mode, still
trying to adjust to the timezone.

She woke up to an orange hue. She looked at her wall clock, seeing that it was already 5:45
pm. She gave out a satisfied sigh. She slept for about six hours; an improvement to her daily
four hours of sleep.

She stood up from her bed, grabbing a new bath towel from her closet. She hasn’t changed
since she arrived this morning.

She looked at the sketchpad on her study table beside her closet. She wasn’t able to look at it
the previous days. Every time she arrived home, she'd just go straight to the bathroom and
sleep afterward.
She knows it’s Mikha’s but she’s still curious what the younger one has been sketching. She
isn’t the type to pry whenever Mikha’s sketching so she doesn’t really know what the other is
doing.

Instead of taking a bath like she intended to, she grabbed the sketchpad and sat down on the
chair. Now’s the chance to feed her curiosity.

She opened the cover and the first thing she saw was the initials M.J.L. Mikha uses the
initials whenever she signs her work. But beside Mikha’s initials, there’s another one. M.Q.A.

“M.Q.A.?”

She opened the next page and was surprised that she was suddenly staring at herself.

“M.Q.A… Maraiah Queen Arceta?” It is her real name, a name she only allows a few to call
her. Only people close to her heart.

She moved to the other pages, with her only seeing herself on every single page of the
sketchbook. Some of them were sleeping. There are others when she’s intensely studying, too
focused to mind the world. There are those wherein she’s so engrossed in a movie that her
expressions say it all. There are also sketches when she just finished taking a bath and just
got out of the shower. But most of the sketches, it was just her smiling and laughing.

It’s actually the first time she saw Mikha’s sketchbook. Some even dated just recently, those
periods when she was in London.

She touched the last page drawn on the sketchpad. It was a scene familiar but from Mikha's
perspective.
Half her body was drawn in the middle of the page, back turned, her hand holding the strap of
her backpack. Her face was facing back, with melancholic eyes clearly depicted in the
drawing. The scene was at NAIA. It was the moment she left for London.

Something was written just below the drawing. It was messily written, with the pressure too
heavy that it marked over the next few pages. Some parts were smudged, as if water droplets
had gone into it. But she knew better. She knows they were tears.

[Why do you have to leave also?]

She sighs and closes the sketchbook. The sketches just tugged a nerve in her heart.

"We're both suffering, huh?

After a few moments of silence, she finally decided to wash up. She'll be doing the night
duty.

---

She parked her Hyundai just between a familiar SUV and a huge pickup truck in the hospital
parking lot. Seems like Stacey's cousin has returned her SUV.

It's almost nine in the evening. Stacey must've been waiting for her. It's been twelve hours
since her turn.

She exited her vehicle and grabbed her duffle bag from the passenger's seat.
"Ms. Arceta?" she heard a familiar voice. She turned around and was greeted by a smiling
doctor. They've only been seeing each other occasionally since their schedules don't match
up, but the doctor never failed to make the most of those brief moments.

"Doc Robles, good evening." she gave a small wave and smiled. She noticed that the doctor
had her bag on her shoulders.

"You're on night duty again?" she asked. Bags are noticeable under her eyes even with the
spectacle she's wearing. She must've been here since this morning, Aiah thought.

"Yeah, just woke up not too long ago."

Just then, Aiah's stomach rumbled, loud enough to reach the doctor's ears. Jhoanna gave a
soft giggle. It reminded her of that morning when she first bought her a Subway sandwich.
Aiah turning into a tomato head made it even funnier.

"Hindi pa ako kumakain since I went home this morning. I forgot. Sorry." She bowed in
embarrassment. Thank goodness it's just them in the parking lot.

Jhoanna smiled wider. "Hmm, would it be alright kung samahan mo muna ako? Plan ko rin
naman sana mag drive thru nalang mamaya. Might as well make sure you eat something first.
Maiintindihan naman siguro ni Ms. Sevilleja."

Aiah thinks for a bit. She does feel hungry now that Jhoanna mentioned dinner. And it's nice
to have some company.

"Sure."

She saw Jhoanna’s smile widen, and she found it cute. The bags in her eyes didn't affect the
glow on her face despite the darkness of the surroundings.
Jhoanna suddenly opened the car door beside Aiah's car, the huge pickup truck's door. She
looked quite surprised.

"That's your ride?"

"Yes, baby ko. Pogi ba?" she gave Aiah a teasing smile. She can see amusement on the
latter’s face.

"I'm kinda surprised. ‘Di ko lang inexpect na you have quite a masculine taste in cars." Aiah
looked at the thick, off-road tires mounted onto Jhoanna's lifted Ford F-150 Raptor. It's
painted satin black with gunmetal accents. The huge black bumper also added to the
masculinity of the car. The doctor actually looks tiny beside it despite being the same height
as her.

"Well, nagulat ka rin nung nag smoke ako so I guess that’s another thing to put on your list of
surprising things about me."

She tossed her bag inside and closed the door, before facing Aiah.

"Let's go?"

---

They settled in a restaurant not too far from the hospital. The food is great and the
atmosphere is cozy so Jhoanna suggested the place.

"So, what's your choice?" Jhoanna asked. She seems to already have a usual favorite so she
didn't bother to check the menu. Aiah, however, was new to the place.
"I don't really know. Can you recommend some?"

Jhoanna called a waiter and one walked in immediately. He seemed a bit shy upon seeing
Aiah for the first time.

"Good evening po, doc. Good evening, madam. What would you like for tonight?"

"I'll have the usual," Jhoanna said, confirming that the doctor's a frequent customer.

The waiter looked at Aiah expectantly. Aiah, on the other hand, looked at Jhoanna for help.

"Can you recommend something for her? First time nya dito eh."

The waiter grabbed a menu and pointed at the 'recommended' list. "Baka po gusto nyo yung
creamy chicken mushroom?"

Aiah was about to say something when Jhoanna spoke, "Do you have other dishes aside from
chicken? ‘Di kasi s'ya masyado kumakain chicken." Aiah can't hide the surprised look on her
face. She didn't actually expect the doctor to remember that fact about her. She felt elated all
of a sudden.

"Of course. I can recommend Mongolian Beef kung okay lang po kay madam ang beef."
Jhoanna looked at Aiah and she nodded at the suggestion.

"Okay, we'll get that one."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Two glasses of wine, please. Thank you."

"Alright, we'll be ready with your orders shortly."

Once the waiter left, Jhoanna couldn't help but notice Aiah staring at her.

"Uh, you don't mind, right? The wine, I mean."

"Okay lang naman. I'm actually surprised that you still remember yung about sa chicken. I'm
touched."

Jhoanna chuckled a bit. Aiah can be cute even when she isn't trying. "Well, doktor ako. I
should really remember stuff like that or else baka makasuhan pa ako pag nagka allergic
reactions patients ko."

Soon enough, their orders arrived, with the same waiter serving glasses of wine.

"Enjoy, ladies."

As Aiah took the first bite, her face immediately brightened, savoring the tender slice of beef.

"Like it?"

"It's really good! Here, try it." Aiah sliced a small piece of the beef and reached her arms
across the table, waving her fork in front of Jhoanna's mouth.

Jhoanna shyly leaned in, catching the slice of beef with her pearl-white teeth. She chewed the
piece of meat slowly, smiling in the process.
“It is good! Bigyan ko tip si kuya for his recommendation.”

They ate in silence after that, with only the sounds of cutlery hitting the plate surrounding
them.

Aiah had just eaten the last of her meal when she looked at Jhoanna. “Doc, I just wanna ask
things, if it’s alright with you.”

Jhoanna stopped for a moment before giving a small smile to Aiah, “Sure, tanong ka lang.”

Before her first question, Aiah released a deep sigh. “About Mikha. Can you be honest and
upfront about her current situation?”

Upon hearing her question, Jhoanna ate the last of her food before settling down her utensils
and setting her plate aside. She drank her wine down to the last drop before facing the other.

“Hindi ako mag sugarcoat or whatever. But your ex, she’s not really in a good situation,” she
heard Aiah’s breath hitch for a moment.

“Kakaalis ko lang when she was brought to the emergency room. Doc Salvador, a colleague
of mine, called me immediately since ako pinagkatiwalaan nila to perform the operation
needed. I was about 20 minutes away sa hospital pero nakarating ako within five minutes.”

She saw Aiah gulped the last of her wine. She ordered desserts first before continuing with
her story. She wanted to apologize to Stacey at the time since she knew they might take a
little while.

Once the dessert arrived, she went on with the story. “Pagdating ko dun, two doctors were
already tending to her, halata yung distress sa mga mukha nila. Muntik na s'yang hindi
umabot, sa totoo lang. Too much blood loss, concussion in the head, several broken bones
here and there, plus muntik nang alcohol poisoning. Sobrang dami ng alcohol sa system nya.”
She glanced at Aiah to see her reaction. She noticed the seriousness on her face, and also fear.
She was looking intensely at her.

“Inabot kami ng roughly six hours, not to mention tatlo kaming doktor nag-operate sa kanya.
It was technically successful, with all her injuries stitched and blood levels were back to
normal after five bags of blood. But we have to do an MRI scan para macheck kung gaano
kalala yung damage from the accident. Sa lala ng tama ng ulo nya, she had five stitches on
her head and a crack on her skull. Bukas pa natin masasabi once lumabas na yung MRI scan
results how severe the damage her brain has.” She paused for a while, seeing if Aiah was able
to catch on to what she was saying.

“Wait, could I get another glass, first?” she asked.

“Sure, go ahead.” She knows this is somehow stressing Aiah out but since she asked her to be
honest, she had to.

Once the waiter refilled both their glasses, Jhoanna continued.

“Earlier, medyo unstable na naman yung vital signs nya. Mas need s'yang tutukan ngayon.
Ms. Sevilleja had to call a nurse earlier since biglang tumaas yung heart rate nya.”

Aiah closed her eyes as she listened to Jhoanna’s words. She gulped the last of her wine. She
kinda regretted asking but she knew she needed to know this.

“That idiot… Sana, hindi nalang ako umalis. This is my fault.”

As much as Jhoanna wants to probe, she knows her limits. She stopped herself from asking
anything that might be too personal for the girl. But she is curious about one thing.

“London... Since when ka pa sa London?” she remembered when they met there. Even
though she wanted to mention it, she doesn’t know if Aiah’s open to the topic.
“Arts professor ako sa isang university for almost a year there. Isang taon pa dapat talaga ako
before a month-long vacation but Stacey called me suddenly, and you know the rest,” she
paused for a bit, as if remembering something. Jhoanna waited for her to continue but was
surprised when Aiah suddenly looked at her.

“You, you were in London last month…” she trailed off, not knowing how to continue
further. Both of them knew very well what happened then.

“Actually, andun lang ako for a conference. Umuwi na ulit akong Pinas after that day.”

“I thought resident ka dun. Imagine my surprise when I saw you face to face at the hospital,”
Aiah chuckled lightly. She can’t forget the day she saw the doctor’s face for the second time.

“Parang ‘di ko naman na need mag-imagine. Yung mukha mo that time, it screams
surprised.” Jhoanna smiled at the red-faced Aiah. Seems like an embarrassed Aiah is her
second favorite reaction now.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking pero… bakit bigla kang umalis? I mean, ‘di ka naman
obligadong sagutin if it’s something too private or if it’s too personal. I mean, hindi naman
tayo ganun ka-close and–”

“I had a meeting that day. Muntik ko na makalimutan since I was really frustrated the night
before kaya rin nag bar ako that night. It wasn’t until my phone alerted me that morning that I
had a meeting in two hours, and that’s why I rushed home. I’m sorry if it seems like it’s just,
you know, a one-time thing. But I didn’t have anything like your full name or number so
option ko lang is to leave you a note. I’m not exactly expecting to see you around. But I
kinda was hoping in some way…” Aiah only whispered the last part, hoping that Jhoanna
didn’t catch it.

Too bad, Jhoanna’s hearing is quite sensitive. The wide smile on her face definitely told her
that she heard everything.
“Please tell me wala kang narinig.” Aiah had to cover her face due to heating up.

“Wag kang mag-alala. Mahina naman boses mo so I didn’t hear you saying that you’re
hoping to see me again in some way.” She gave a teasing smile, furthering Aiah’s suffering.

To save the girl from embarrassment, she laughed a bit before changing to a warm smile.
“Tara na? Baka naghuhukay na ng libingan mo si Ms. Sevilleja ngayon.”

Aiah removed her hands from her face, suddenly realizing what the doctor meant. She
glanced at her watch and saw that it was already ten in the evening.

“Shit! She’ll surely kill me sa tagal ko.”

After that sumptuous meal, ordering takeout for Stacey, and arguing with Jhoanna who
insisted on paying for both of them, they walked back to the parking lot.

“Thanks for the free dinner, although you didn’t have to. Pangatlong beses mo na ako
nililibre. You even paid for Stak’s takeout.”

“Okay lang yun. Isipin mo nalang, pambawi ko sa bigat ng inexplain ko sa’yo kanina about
Ms. Lim.” The mention of her ex suddenly brought her to reality again. It somehow reminded
her that she has, in fact, a terribly injured ex waiting for her.

“I’ll return the favor someday, doc Robles.”

Jhoanna went inside her pickup. She rolled her heavily tinted window down to give Aiah one
last goodbye for the night.

“I’ll look forward to that.”

Aiah watched her reverse and the engine roared throughout the silent parking lot.

She stepped on the gas slightly but stopped for a moment before looking at Aiah.

“Jhoanna.”

“Huh?”

“My name’s Jhoanna” She then reached out from her window and gave Aiah what seemed to
be a business card.

“Bye.” Before Aiah could react, Jhoanna sped her way out of the parking lot, leaving her all
alone beside her car with the doctor’s calling card at hand.

“Jhoanna…”

She looked at the card. It has the logo of Makati Med on it. She flipped the card and saw the
doctor’s name written on it.

Dr. Jhoanna Christine Robles, MD, FPCS

---
“Hay, sa wakas! ‘Te, you called me two hours ago. Anyare dun?” Stacey said in exasperation
when she saw Aiah enter the room.

“Sorry talaga, Staks. I just had dinner. Pinag-take out na rin kita,” she gave her friend a paper
bag with a takeout still hot to the touch.

“Fine. Sige, you’re forgiven. Ba’t ‘di mo nalang din tinake-out food mo para sabay tayo?”

“Well, deretso sana ako dito but I bumped into Doc Robles sa parking. Uusap lang sana kami
but my stupid stomach made a scene. I don’t have an excuse to decline her offer since kulo
nang kulo tiyan ko.”

“Shet, nakakahiya ka ‘te! At sa harap pa talaga ni Doc Robles,” irritation all gone, Stacey
can’t help but laugh at her friend’s embarrassing moment. She’s heard Aiah’s stomach once
and she can vouch for it for being loud.

“Shut up. S'ya nagbayad nyan,” she pointed at the paper bag Stacey was now holding.

“Ay, taray ni ate girl. Nilibre ka talaga?” the taller has one of her eyebrows raised.

“I was about to pay our share kaso inagaw nya yung bill.” Just then, Stacey sniffs near her,
causing her to back away towards Mikha’s bed.

“Huy, anong-”

“Ay, ikaw ha,” Stacey gave her a teasing smile.

“Huh? What are you on to?”

Stacey gave out a smirk. “Taray naman in Doc Robles, may pa-wine? Namumula ka kaya.
Tsaka amoy sa bibig mo.”

Aiah froze on her spot, turning a bit pale despite the redness on her skin caused by the said
wine. She did have three glasses in total, ordering another round as Jhoanna insisted. She
tried smelling her own breath and grimaced when she had a whiff of it.

“Don’t worry. Mouthwash lang yan.”

As Stacey shouldered her bag, she faced Aiah again with that teasing smile of hers. “So, sa
kanya rin galing yung Subway?”

Aiah didn’t need to ask what sandwich she was referring to. What surprised her was that
Stacey actually asked about it.

“Paano mo-”

“Hula lang naman. Malay mo, mali pala ako.” She winked before leaving, rendering Aiah
speechless.

Now that she’s all alone with an unconscious Mikha, she doesn’t really know what to do at
this point. It’s already eleven but she doesn’t feel like sleeping yet, although the wine she
drank earlier is making her giddy. Her alcohol tolerance isn’t that high.

She lay down on the extra bed and grabbed her wallet from the table. She then remembered
the calling card the doctor handed to her earlier.
She punched in the number in her phone but stopped midway. “Should I really be messaging
her?”

“Eleven na pala. She’s probably asleep already."

"Well, a short message of gratitude wouldn't hurt. Okay lang naman kahit bukas na nya
makita."

"But what will I say? Nag thank you naman na ako earlier."

"Why am I getting worked up about this anyway?

She continued on, creating a new message.

[Hey, it’s Aiah. I just wanna thank you again for dinner, and even paying for Stacey's food.
Also for the sandwich that morning. I actually have a lot to be thankful for. I'm not even
sure if this is your number but it was written there so… yeah. Hope you sleep well! Good
night :)] - Aiah

She pressed send, deciding to exit the messaging app so as to not embarrass herself any
further.

"She'll probably see it tomorrow."

A sigh escaped her lips. She's been stressing about her current predicament that she actually
forgot that she’s supposed to finish another semester.

"Right, I have to call the dean tomorrow."

She turned sideways, facing her ex. All the tubes and wires running around her slaps her back
to the reality she's in.

"Mikha Lim, what should I do?"

"I can't leave you like this, pero I can’t be stuck here either."

"What should I do?"

Just then, her phone started to ring, causing her to jerk up. The only person reasonable to call
her this late would be Stacey. She answered it without checking.

"Staku? Is everything alright?"

"Actually, I'm not Ms. Sevilleja," that familiar voice.

She momentarily looked at the screen, only to be surprised that it was the number she just
messaged a few minutes ago.

"Doc Robles?"

"Hi, ako nga," she looked at the clock. It's 11:30 pm.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping by now?"

"Well, dapat nga kaso sira na body clock ko so eto ako ngayon."
Aiah doesn't know what to say at the moment. She wasn't really ready to talk to her.

"Akala ko talaga, never ka magmemessage sakin."

"I was actually hesitant. I’m not sure if sa’yo talagang number yun. But I feel like I haven’t
thanked you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

“Sus, okay lang yun. You don’t have to feel in debt for those. It’s the least I can do para
naman medyo gumaan loob mo after what happened the past days.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you, doc.”

“And please, Jhoanna nalang pag off duty ako. Para naman makalimutan ko pansamantala
bigat ng responsibility ko as a doctor.”

“Yeah. Gets naman. I also don’t want my friends calling me Prof all the time.”

“Speaking of professor, babalik ka na ba ulit ng London soon?”

She’s been thinking about her next move. She’s only about to call her university tomorrow
and she doesn’t really know what condition they’ll give her. Worst case is that she has to
return for the submission of grades, which will be a week from now.

“‘Di ko pa alam, actually. I mean, tatawag palang ako bukas sa uni so I’ll just know what to
do by then.”

“By the way, Ms. Arceta, I–”

“Aiah nalang. It feels less distant that way.” She doesn’t know why she doesn’t want to feel
distant from the doctor. It’s just that she wants the doctor to call her Aiah in times like this.
Maybe it’s the friendly feeling she’s looking for, and being called by her surname isn’t really
‘friendly’.

“Alright, Aiah. Remind ko lang that we’ll get the MRI scans tomorrow. I know makakaapekto
ito sa mga future plans mo so do you want to hear it first thing tomorrow? Or mas gusto
mong si Doc Mallari na mag discuss with you sa afternoon?” Doctor Mallari is the resident
neurologist and is the one specializing in anything brain-related.

She gave out a sigh. Tomorrow seems like a day she’s starting to dread. Whatever the result
will be, it might change their lives forever. Plus, her sudden leave from her university isn’t
something to take lightly, also. She has yet to discuss it with her department.

“Mas okay na siguro yung malaman ko na agad.”

“Okay. Sabihan ko sila.”

“Uhm, okay lang ba if andun ka when Doc Mallari discuss it?” She trusts the neurologist.
She’s in one of Metro Manila’s well-known hospitals, after all. But she just feels like she
needs additional comfort while hearing the results. She doesn’t know why but knowing
Jhoanna’s just there with her somehow brings comfort that she can handle whatever the result
may be.

“Of course. I’ll be there.”

Silence engulfed them, with different scenarios filling their minds.

“I honestly don’t know what to do,” she admitted. It’s the first time she felt defeated since she
arrived in Manila. Not even to Stacey, she surrendered.

“Gusto mo bang pag-usapan?”

Without actually answering, she started talking, “It’s just that everything happened so
suddenly that I don’t know how to handle it without compromising anything.”

Jhoanna stayed silent. She felt like the girl wanted to say more so she didn’t interrupt.

“I know there’s Staku but I can only depend on her that much. S'ya na nagbabantay kay
Mikha ever since I left for London. Mikha should have been my responsibility since I kinda
caused her to be like this.”

“Do you mind telling me what happened?” she’s not sure if Aiah’s willing to spill out
personal stories that easily, but at least she tried.

“Not too long ago, Mikha lost both her parents in a plane crash going to Japan. Anniversary
gift nya sa parents nya yung trip but yeah, things happened. Engine failure daw, sabi nila.”
Jhoanna can hear the sadness in her voice. Seems like Aiah’s also close with Mikha’s
deceased parents.

“The fatal Japan Airlines accident…” she mumbled softly. She’s also familiar with that
accident five years ago. She volunteered for the Manila rescue team that helped during that
time. There were no survivors. She can remember seeing Lim on the list of victims.

“Since then, she changed a lot. Trauma na rin siguro since she lost both her parents at the
same time. Sobrang close nya sa parents nya. Before that, she was really calm and
understanding, shy, cute even. She can’t even hurt a bug. Minsan ako na nagtatanggol sa
kanya since she really hated hurting other people. But that changed 180 degrees after that
accident. Pero akala ko, magiging okay s'ya. We tried counselling, therapy, those things, I
thought it worked. Three months in and kala ko, back to normal na s'ya.. She was doing great,
even. That was until her brother suddenly left without a word. No one knows where he is.
Hindi nya kinaya, nagrelapse ulit s'ya. He was the only family left. Sa kuya nya nalang s'ya
kumakapit. Kaya lalo s'yang nasira nun. She then started showing impulsive behaviors,
sobrang layo sa kung sino s'ya talaga.”

“Severe emotional trauma can definitely affect someone’s mental state. I can see why she
changed.”
“We started arguing nonstop over the pettiest things. Lagi talaga kami nag-aaway. Sobrang
unpredictable nya. She’s been reckless, alcoholic, stuff that she isn’t. I tried stopping her,
pero hindi na s'ya nakikinig. Then, she started flirting with other people, girls and guys,
having flings from time to time. Whenever we fight, maya-maya, tatawag nalang sakin bigla
si Staks, magsusumbong na nasa bar s'ya, binabantayan si Mikhs who’s too intoxicated to
even talk. If that’s not the case, bigla nalang s'yang susugod sa apartment, really drunk, and
then argue with me out of the blue to the point na nananakit na s'ya.”

Aiah breathes in, trying to control her trembling voice. The doctor didn’t miss the slight
shake of her breath but didn’t point it out. “It’s just, nauubos na rin ako.”

Jhoanna can feel Aiah’s agitated breathing. “Aiah, breathe. Calm yourself first.” Thankfully,
she did as she was told. Jhoanna can hear Aiah’s deep breathing from the phone.

“Okay, now continue.”

“It’s just that... our relationship has spiraled down since. I tried to leave, kaya nung tinawagan
ako sa London, kinuha ko agad. I know it’s not wise to leave her, especially after what
happened. Aside sa family nya, kami nalang ni Staks ang meron s'ya. Her brother’s nowhere
to be found. But it’s making me insane. Sobrang sira na rin ako that time. Malapit na ako mag
self-destruct. I know everything’s toxic but at the same time, I can’t really blame Mikha.
She’s a victim of circumstances, too. I’m a coward for leaving pero kailangan ko rin ayusin
sarili ko kahit sobrang gulo na ng nangyayari. It’s as if I’m giving myself false hope that
things can still be fixed even though it’s obviously beyond repair.”

Jhaonna understands the weight she’s carrying. She’s seen too many people lose their loved
ones under her own hands. Too many times has she been in a situation where she knows it’s
impossible for someone to survive but she knows she has to do her best, even if it’s futile,
just to give their companions false hope that their loved ones will make it, and also for her
peace of mind. It’s the cruelty of their profession but she knows she has to do it. At least,
deep inside, she knows she’s done her part.

“Well, you can always talk to me from now on. Consider me as your friend. Hindi man ako
psychologist pero I’ll try my best to be your friend.”
Jhoanna can already hear soft sniffs from the other side of the phone. She knows tears are
already flowing from those brown eyes of hers. She had to make the woman feel that she was
not alone.

“Thank you, really. I might have been crying all alone tonight kung ‘di ka tumawag.”

“Okay lang umiyak paminsan-minsan, Aiah. Hindi naman kailangan maging matapang sa
lahat ng oras. Just let that out. Never kita huhusgahan.”

Once she heard those words, more tears started coming out uncontrollably from her already
red eyes. She knows that she normally cries silently, but despite that, Jhoanna can hear it
clearly. The pain, frustration, disappointment, exhaustion, all enclosed in each drop of tears
being released. She somehow regrets that her shift doesn’t match Aiah’s schedule since right
now, the thing she wants the most is to encase the crying girl in a comforting hug.

A few seconds passed and she could hear Aiah’s breathing normalize again.

“Feel any better?”

She was still sniffing but there were no more tears. She actually managed a small smile. “I
feel a lot better. Salamat, Jhoanna.”

“Glad that I was able to help.”

Aiah was about to speak when she yawned. Sleep is finally dawning upon her. She looked at
the clock. It’s already 12 midnight.

“Hey, take a rest. Kailangan mo yan.”

“I know. My body’s begging for it.”

Weirdly, Aiah doesn’t wanna end the call just yet. Something about the doctor’s voice is
giving her a calming effect. Something that could help her during a panic attack.

In a sleepy voice, she suddenly asked, “What else do you do bukod sa pagiging doctor?”

“What do you mean?”

“Any hobbies? Dancing, drawing, singing, cooking, mga ganun,” she can feel the sleepiness
in her voice.

Jhoanna was silent for a second while doing a low ‘hmmm’. Aiah closed her eyes, finding
Jhoanna’s voice really soothing.

“Hm, mahilig ako magluto. Hindi naman parang mala-chef pero I think desente naman ako
magluto.”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll be the judge of that someday. Anything else?” Jhoanna knows the girl is
on the verge of sleep but like Aiah, she still doesn’t want to cut the call.

“Kumakanta, minsan.”

“Weh, sample nga?”

“May song request ka ba?”

“Wala naman. Ikaw, kung anong song trip mo.”

Jhoanna thought for a while and found a song in her library. Instead of a verbal answer, she
started off with the first verse.

“They don't know about the things we do

They don't know about the I-love-yous

But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)

They would just be jealous of us”

Hearing Jhoanna’s voice stirred something inside of her. It suddenly reminded her of that
night. The way Jhoanna called her in a low tone. She knows she should feel bad about this.
Her ex is unconscious, just beside her. But like what Jhoanna said, she needed to rest, and she
knows that’s not just physical.

Aiah closed her eyes, absorbing every note Jhoanna sang. She turned her phone to speaker
mode so she could let go of the device. She tapped her fingers in sync with Jhoanna’s voice.

“They don't know about the up-all-nights

They don't know I've waited all my life

Just to find a love that feels this right (they don't know)

Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us”

Jhoanna stops for a while, indicating the end of her singing. Instead of speaking, she listened
to Aiah’s line, where all she heard was slow, steady breathing. The girl fell asleep.

She smiled, thinking that at least, her voice was able to calm the girl to sleep. She knows
Aiah really needed that.

With a final ounce of energy left in her, she sleepily whispered over her phone even though
she knew the other girl wouldn’t hear it.
 “Good night. Sleep well, Aiah.”

##

Chapter End Notes

Check this cover of Jhoanna para maimagine nyo rin na kinakantahan nya kayo haha
(mga delulu! chz)

They Don't know About Us (Jhoanna's cover)

 Reality Check
Chapter Summary

Aiah meeting Doc Jho's friend. Reality Check for Jhoanna. Mikha's condition getting
better or worse?

Chapter Notes

TW: For mikhalites, sorry na agad (ulit)

More medical terms ahead >>>
🙇🏻‍♀️

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REALITY CHECK

I woke up feeling much better than the last few days of my stay here at the hospital. Oddly
enough, I slept quite well despite sleeping in a hospital bed.

"Good morning naman sa’yo, or better yet, good afternoon." I can see the teasing smirk on
Stacey’s face. It’s not the usual chirpy greeting I receive. Something’s up and I still have no
clue what. But wait, afternoon?

"Afternoon?" I looked at my phone immediately. Indeed, it’s already past noon. My rumbling
stomach can attest to that.

"What's with the smirk?"

"Wala naman. May mabait lang na nagbigay ng totoong pagkain instead na hospital food,”
she answered in a singing tone, obviously making fun of my obliviousness.

"Huh?" I gave up waiting for a proper answer. Instead, I stood up from the bed and
approached the food tray that’s given to us every day. I’m actually famished.

Lifting the covers, I was actually quite surprised that instead of the cold, unappetizing excuse
of a food that they normally give, it actually looked like something bought from a fancy
restaurant.

"Is this… roast beef and mushroom?" I asked softly. It's pretty much far-fetched that it came
from the hospital. I also noticed that the portion of the food can feed two people, with two
bowls of rice on the side. Everything seems good and still quite hot. Definitely didn’t come
from here.

I noticed a piece of paper stuck underneath the Pyrex glass bowl.

[ I-judge mo na cooking skills ko :) ]

I was puzzled at first. Again with the nameless note. But then I remembered fragments of the
call with Jhoanna. I asked her about her hobbies, which include cooking.

"Oh…"

Stacey volunteered to prepare the desk, grabbing each of our utensils to begin immediately.
Seems like both of us are already hungry.

"Kain na muna tayo. Nagugutom na ako. Curious din ako since nakakatakam talaga itsura
nya."
We settled ourselves on both sides of the small table, ready to dig in. Stacey was the first to
attack.

Upon putting her spoon in her mouth, her eyes went wide, staying still for a moment. Her
reactions are quite indecipherable.

"Staku? You okay?" She’s actually starting to worry me every second that she kept silent.

She began chewing before swallowing all the contents in her mouth.

"Shet, kala ko inorder sa five-star resto."

Okay, this got me really curious. Stacey’s really picky with food (yeah, she eats pretty much
everything but she’s picky about which food is actually good and just normal), and for her to
react like that, actually tells a lot.

I mirrored her previous actions and tried the dish on my own. Once the tender meat hit my
mouth, my eyes widened on its own.

"It is good!" now I can definitely understand Stacey’s reaction.

We finish off the food before we know it, leaving the Pyrex bowls clean as a newly washed
plate.

"One of the best dishes I had since arriving here."

"Lutong bahay yan?" Stacey asked.

I’m sure Jhoanna was the one who cooked those. I’m also pretty sure Stacey has an idea but I
just can't bring myself to point that out.

I decided to grab my phone and open my messaging app.

[That roast beef mushroom you made… if I didn't know you and you told me you aren't
a chef, I wouldn't believe you.] - Aiah

[Good morning Ms. Arceta :) glad you liked it! So, pasado na ba skills ko?] -Doc Robles

I can’t believe that a simple text from her can actually make me smile like this. Yes, I’m well
aware that I’m smiling like an idiot right now and I’m also well aware that Stacey’s judging
me from the side.

"Anong mukha yan?"

"Huh? Alin?” I asked dumbly.

"Yang itsura mo ngayon. Mukha kang tinext ng highschool crush mo."

“Must be the food.” I just gave her a toothy grin.

Okay, where was I? Oh right. I was texting Doc Robles

[Hmmm, I can't judge based on a single dish now, can I? 🤔] - Aiah

I’m sorry but it’s fun teasing the girl. It's not like I’ll take advantage of her and ask her to
cook another meal for me.

[Alam ko naman. Kaya if okay lang sa’yo, pwede mo ba ako samahan saglit mamaya?

Punta ako sa friend kong may-ari ng resto. Pwede mo ako panoorin magluto dun
Doc Robles
😉 ]-

Okay, I didn’t expect that. But I can’t deny that I’m actually looking forward to it.

[Mga what time pala?] - Aiah

[Halfday ako today. Samahan lang kita kay Doc Mallari then end of shift ko na.] - Doc
Robles

Right, the results of the MRI scan will be released today. I know it won’t be pretty. I’m just
thankful that Doc Robles agreed to accompany us during the discussion.

[Okay. I’ll just freshen up a bit then punta na tayo kay Doc Mallari.] - Aiah
I locked my phone before grabbing my things from my travel bag and picking up my clothes
for the day.

“Staks, daan dito si Doc Robles in a bit. We’re going to Doc Mallari para idiscuss yung MRI
results.”

“Okay.”

Twenty minutes later, I’m donned in fresh clothes with my hair still dripping wet. I stare at
myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes are obvious even with the concealer applied. I
can hear Stacey busy laughing at whatever the television is showing.

Right on cue, there’s a knock on the door and comes in the doctor we’ve been looking
forward to seeing today.

“Late na ba ako?” she asked shyly.

“Ay, hindi naman, Doc. Sakto ka lang. Kakatapos lang din ni ate Aiah mag-ayos. Lumabas na
daw MRI results?” I heard Stacey answer.

“Yes. Katatawag lang ni Doc Mallari sakin. Pwede na raw tayo pumunta anytime.”

Upon hearing the conversation from the outside, I peeked at the slightly ajar bathroom door
and saw Doc Robles standing by Mikha’s bed, observing the latter.

After applying the last of my makeup, I went outside and greeted the doctor.

“Good day, Doc Robles. Tara?”

---

Three people are settled down in the quiet space of the office with the label “Dr. Mario
Mallari, Neurologist”. Aiah and Stacey are seated beside each other with Jhoanna on the
opposite side. Doc Mallari just entered with an envelope at hand, with a name written in bold
letters – ‘MIKHAELA JANNA J. LIM’.

“Kayo ang mga guardians ni Miss Lim?” he started with a subtle smile.

“Yes, po. Ako po si Stacey Sevilleja and this is Aiah Arceta.” Stacey started.

“Nakwento naman na ni Doc Robles yung situation nyo so hindi na ako magtatanong pa
masyado.” Aiah gave a brief glance at Jhoanna with one brow raised. She wonders what she
has told Doc Mallari.

He opened the envelope and pulled out several papers, some with images of what she thought
as brain scans.

“So, upon reading the results, I may have good news, but also bad news,” he started.

“I’ll spare you the headache and just discuss the technicalities with Doc Robles later on. I’ll
try my best na maiexplain sa inyo nang hindi sobrang kumplikado para mas maintindihan
nyo.”

He showed the first paper with images on it. “As you can see here, nagfufunction pa naman
yung brain nya. In most cases, a severe accident like that can actually greatly affect brain
function.”
“Pero hindi ibig sabihin, pwede na tayo magrelax. Kahit nagfufunction pa s'ya, malaki pa rin
impact nung accident and lalo na nagkaroon s'ya ng concussion,” he showed another paper.

“Upon checking, may mga irregularities sa brain wave patterns nya. Her reticular activating
system (RAS), or yung parte ng brain responsible for wakefulness, hindi s'ya nagfufunction
ng normal. Hindi s'ya nagrerespond sa mga painful stimuli." the doctor paused for a bit,
letting his words sink into the three. “Meaning, kahit kurutin ko s'ya, hindi s'ya
magrerespond.”

"The neurons were also damaged nung tumilapon din s'ya. Sa sobrang lakas ng impact,
nabasag yung windshield."

"But on the other side, her other important brainstem areas are still functioning. Nag
coconstrict pa rin naman pupils nya pag tinatapatan ng ilaw ."

The two of them nodded, with Doc Robles reading the results.

"Affected din locomotive movements nya. Medyo malubha rin damage sa spine nya. Once na
magising s'ya, need nya mag undergo ng rehabilitation"

The doctor released a sigh, "As for kung kelan s'ya magigising? I honestly couldn't tell. May
cases na it's up to the patient kung kelan sila gigising. They may be conscious all this time
pero yung physical body nila, ayaw mag respond sa utak nila."

"Meaning po ba nito, magtatagal pa kami dito?" Stacey asked. Aiah remained silent. Her eyes
then locked with Jhoanna's comforting gaze.

"We can assume that. Best case, magigising s'ya within a few weeks but she'll have severe
physical and cognitive limitations. Baka hindi pa s'ya makapagsalita or makagalaw agad."

"How about the worst case?" Aiah had to ask. Although she already knows the answer, she
just needs to hear it loud and clear.
"Worst case… if she decides to rest for good." Aiah hitched her breath. She knows for a fact
that this is a huge possibility.

"Sa mga oras na ito, mahirap pa sabihin ang definite prognosis ni Ms. Lim. It's all up to her.
Pero if icoconsider natin current situation nya and mga test results, she won't wake up
anytime soon."

"Okay, doc. I understand."

"I apologize, Ms. Arceta, Ms. Sevilleja for how things turned out. Pero sana, hindi nyo s'ya
sukuan," he smiled apologetically. This has always been the hard part of his job.

As the three were about to stand, he spoke again. "Doc Robles? Can you stay for a bit? May
need lang ako idiscuss with you."

The two went back to Mikha's room. It's Stacey’s time to look after her.

Both released a long sigh while looking at the figure lying on the bed. It's just dawning upon
them how serious Mikha's condition is.

"What time should I return?"

"Pahinga ka muna, ate Aiah. Okay lang naman ako magbantay hanggang bukas. Wala naman
ako gagawin ngayong weekend."

"Alright. I might actually take that offer."

Just then, her phone beeped. It's Jhoanna.

[Wait mo nalang ako sa parking. Alis tayo after namin ni Doc Mallari.] - Doc Robles

[Okay.] - Aiah

"Thanks, Staks. Call me if there's anything."

She left the room and headed straight to the exit where the parking lot is. She looked around
and found her mid-size sedan looking tiny between two huge vehicles again – Stacey's SUV
and Jhoanna's Raptor.

[I'm at the parking lot.] - Aiah

[Alright. Be there in a minute. Kunin ko lang gamit ko.] - Doc Robles

Now in broad daylight, she can finally see Jhoanna's ride clearly. And she still thinks the
same. It's definitely in contrast to Jhoanna's persona.

Minutes later, she can see the doctor approaching, now in a plain button-up dark blue long
sleeves with a duffle bag on her shoulder. Her white coat is nowhere in sight.

"Iwan mo nalang muna car mo dito. Sabay ka nalang sakin."

She also doesn't feel like driving so she agreed in a heartbeat.

"Alright."

They went to the other side of the raptor and Jhoanna opened the door for her, also assisting
her since the car was a bit elevated.

Once Aiah's settled, Jhoanna jogged to the other side and entered the driver's seat. Aiah can’t
help but giggle.

"Anong nakakatawa?" she asked, confused.

"Nothing. It's just that you look tiny in your seat kahit pa matangkad ka."

"Well, gets naman. Malaki din talaga ‘tong sasakyan."

"Hmm, you have a point."

Jhoanna set the GPS and Aiah noticed that it was just along the way to her house.

"Where are we going again?"

"Sa Bon Appetea. It's a resto-Cafe owned by a friend. Sobrang worth it ng tea nila if mahilig
ka sa tea."

Now that Jhoanna mentioned it, she realized that she'd been there more than once. She's
surprised that Jhoanna knows the owner of the place.

"Is that friend the same as the one who taught you how to mix negroni?"
Jhoanna chuckled a bit. Aiah still remembers that.

"Ay, iba pa yun. Pakilala kita sa kanya next time." Aiah only smiled but deep down, she was
feeling weirdly elated just by the thought of being introduced to Jhoanna’s friends.

They arrived at the place and saw the sign that said 'We'll be back shortly'. As far as she can
remember, they always close the shop for a few hours on Friday afternoon since there will
always be a live performance every Friday night.

"Are you sure it's alright to go?" Aiah asked, unsure.

"Ngayon talaga ako pinapunta ng friend ko para hindi sobrang busy sa kitchen. Inaantay na
rin nya tayo sa loob."

Instead of the main entrance, the two went around the building and entered at the entrance
that said "Employees only."

As soon as they entered, a tall woman approached them.

"Jho!!! Dumating ka finally!" the tall woman in a bob cut and chef’s hat approached them
enthusiastically.

"Ate Gwen! Nag halfday ako kaya eto ako ngayon," she then motioned for Aiah to come
closer to her. She pulled the girl closer by the shoulder.

"S'ya yung friend na nakwento ko sa’yo. Parang ayaw maniwalang marunong ako magluto eh
kaya dinala ko dito."

The chef's eyes widened, as if not believing what Jhoanna had just said.
"Oh my god, girl. Kung hindi nag doctor ‘tong babaeng ‘to, hindi ako ang head chef ng lugar
na ‘to." Aiah laughed at the chef's exaggeration.

"Ang OA, ate Gwen," Jhoanna could only scratch her head in embarrassment.

"Oh baket, hindi ba totoo?" she just laughed. She grabbed a spare apron hanging at the side
and a toque hat to prevent her hair from falling.

"Hmm, alam mo girl, medyo familiar ka." the chef said as she scrutinized Aiah.

"Madalas ka ba dito?"

"I was a regular before ako lumipad sa London eight months ago. But I was here din just the
other day."

Gwen thinks for a while before snapping her fingers.

"Aha! Naalala na kita! Ilang beses na may nagrequest ng drinks at desserts sa table mo dati.
Sabi ko nga, sino ba yung inoorderan nila? Pero nung tiningnan ko, sa table mo lagi. May
mga nagtanong pa nga kung ano daw nangyari dun sa regular na laging naka cap at may
dalang libro."

Aiah blushed at the story. She did experience those, receiving free drinks and food courtesy
of random strangers.

Gwen then looked at Jhoanna who was tying her hair into a bun.

"Akala ko ba, hindi ka nainiwala sa mga supreme beings. Eh ano ‘to, bakit may kasama kang
dyosa?" Gwen teased, further making Aiah blush.
"Hindi raw ako naniniwala eh. Pinuntahan tuloy ako." Jhoanna gave a playful wink at a
reddened Aiah. The latter can feel her whole body heat up. Her ears are probably really red
right now.

"Aww, ang cute mo naman. Namumula ka na," she then reached out her hand, "Gwen Apuli
pala. Head chef dito."

"Aiah Arceta."

While Jhoanna was busy preparing herself to cook, Gwen gave Aiah a little tour of the
kitchen.

"Kahit ako ang owner ng resto, mas gusto kong maging hands-on talaga. Atsaka yung isa
kasing head chef ko sana, nag doktor bigla kaya ayun."

"But she said she isn't a chef's level. Although the roast beef mushroom she brought earlier
does taste really delicious."

Gwen laughed. "’Wag kang maniwala dun. Si pa-humble yun. Tingnan mo mamaya."

They saw Jhoanna approach them, looking like a professional chef.

"Gusto mo ba mag-intay nalang sa table or gusto mong manood sa kitchen?" she asked Aiah.

"Is it alright if I stay and watch?" she looked at Gwen. The latter nodded.

"Go lang! Iwan ko muna sa’yo yung kitchen, Jho. Check ko lang yung preparation ng stage
para mamayang gabi."
Gwen patted Jhoanna's shoulder before going to the guests' area where a production team was
walking around with different equipment.

Probably a live band tonight , Aiah thought.

"So, anong gusto mong lutuin ko?"

"Do you have any specialty?"

She thinks for a bit, racking her brain for a perfect dish. Her actual specialty involves chicken
but since Aiah doesn’t eat chicken much, that's out of the question.

"Hmmm, I know just a dish."

Soon, Aiah settled in a vacant chair near Gwen’s office, watching Jhoanna move around the
kitchen like it's her second nature. For a passerby, one would really think she's the head chef
of the place.

She saw Jhoanna take out a huge slab of ribs from the freezer. She brought it to the broiler,
probably to soften the meat. Aside from that, she's also cooking what seems like a type of
rice dish on the other side of the stove.

By the smell of it, she can already say it's mouth-watering.

About thirty minutes had passed and finally, she saw Jhoanna pick up three plates and place
them on an empty table where the production crew wasn't walking around. She also placed
three glasses of water and wine glasses. Finally, she placed the main dish at the center.
Jhoanna also picked up a bottle of wine in what looked like a wine cellar. It's a full fancy
setup.
"Pwede ba pakitawag si ate Gwen? I-set up ko lang ‘tong table." She asked Aiah. The latter
nodded.

As she walked towards the guest’s area, she observed that the sound system and mini-stage
setup were nearly finished. She saw Gwen instructing somebody from afar.

"Gwen? Kain na raw tayo."

"Sige, sunod na ako dyan in a bit."

Later on, the three are settled at the table Jhoanna has set up. It looks really professionally
done.

"Wala ka pa rin talagang kupas, Jho."

"Kailangan ko pa rin naman pakainin sarili ko, syempre."

They proceeded to eat, with each one grabbing a slice of rib.

Aiah can't hide her surprise. This is much better than the roast beef she had earlier. This
probably is her specialty for a reason.

Gwen gave Jhoanna a questioning look. "Masarap s'ya definitely, pero bakit hindi yung
specialty mo yung niluto mo?"

"Huh? This isn't your specialty?" Aiah’s the first to react.

"Hindi s'ya mahilig sa chicken kaya hindi yun yung niluto ko."

Instead of an answer, Gwen just gave her a knowing smile.

They finished their meal heartily, with Aiah obviously satisfied.

"So?" Jhoanna suddenly faced her, anticipation etched on her face.

"Huh?" Aiah looked at her, puzzled.

"Pasado ba sa standards mo?"

She then remembered their conversation from last night and early this morning.

Instead of an honest answer, she decided to tease the doctor a bit.

"Hmmm, I don't know…"

She was about to tease her more but the pout on Jhoanna’s face is something Aiah can't
withstand.

But of course, it's always fun teasing people.

"Hmmm fine. It's okay, I guess," she said looking nonchalant as she wiped her mouth. Gwen
stifled her laughter as she caught on to what Aiah's trying to do.
"Okay… lang?" This time, Jhoanna's voice is about to crack. Aiah thought she had enough
teasing.

She giggled a bit before giving her a wide smile. "Silly, it's really good! One of the best meals
I had. And I really mean that."

The frown on Jhoanna's face suddenly turned 180 degrees in a span of a millisecond,
obviously happy with Aiah’s verdict.

"Ano, naniniwala ka na?" Gwen asked.

"I never really doubted her skills. I'm just teasing her."

After that satisfying meal, Jhoanna volunteered to wash the dishes, leaving Aiah and Gwen
alone.

"Amazing ni Jho, no?" Gwen asked while looking at the doctor's back.

"Indeed." Aiah can't help but smile. So far, Jhoanna never fails to amaze her.

"Matagal na kayo magkakilala?" Gwen then turned her attention to Aiah.

"Actually, no. We met under complicated circumstances. Not even a month."

"Weh?" Aiah wondered why the surprised face.

"You seem so surprised," Aiah laughed a bit.

"Wala naman. Ano lang… para ipakilala ka nya agad sa’kin… tapos pinagluto ka pa and
nanghingi pa ng validation mo… wala pa s'ya ulit pinapakilala sa akin after ni…" she didn't
continue. She's afraid that she'll overshare something that might make Jhoanna mad.

"Oh…" Now that made Aiah wonder about the latter's personal life.

"Since when have you known each other?" Aiah asked. They seem to be really close with
each other.

"We actually met nung college s'ya. We were close naman na even before. Pero mas naging
tight talaga nung ano… Sabihin nalang nating after nung darkest times nya, when she lost
someone, I promised myself to look out for her even more. Masaya naman akong okay na
s'ya ngayon. Actually, one of the reasons din bakit s'ya nag push maging doktor."

Aiah was only able to nod.

So she understands that. Grief. She thought.

Suddenly, Gwen’s eyes widened, as if realizing something.

"'Wag mo nalang i-mention yung mga nakwento ko. Intayin mo lang na s'ya mismo
magkwento. Medyo sensitive topic kasi ‘yon para sa kanya."

"Don't worry, I know my limits."

"Paano pala kayo nagkakilala?" Gwen asked back.

The question got Aiah thinking. Should she consider the first time they met at the club in
London?
"We actually met twice."

"Huh?"

Aiah shook her head lightly, laughing at the memory.

"We met first sa London as two strangers in a club. Then, nag meet ulit kami here sa Pinas.
She happened to be the surgeon of my ex."

Gwen nodded, understanding the situation.

"Parang naaalala ko yung kwento sa London…" she said softly, still in thought.

"She… told you that?" she panicked a little. It's not a story shareable anyway.

"Syempre, close kami. Nagkekwento yan sa’kin. Pero ‘wag ka mag-alala. ‘Di naman ako
judger," she gave a comforting smile.

"Hmmm, so ex mo pala? Sorry to ask pero s'ya ba yung nainvolve sa isang car accident
recently?" this time, Gwen’s face is serious.

"Uh…" Aiah doesn't know how to answer. Not only because she seems to know her current
situation, but also because she knows her current relationship with Jhoanna’s patient, who is a
woman.

"Gaya ng sabi ko, nagkekwento yang si Jho sa’kin. And hindi naman big deal kung babae
yung ex mo. Inclusive and openminded tayo dito."
"So, ex mo pala…" Gwen said softly, more to herself than to Aiah. She seems to give a sad
smile to the doctor.

Before Aiah could say another word, the doctor approached them with a towel at hand.

"Ano nang pinagchichikahan nyo?" she asked the two, to which they only smiled.

"Oo nga pala, muntik ko na makalimutan. Gusto nyo ba magstay hanggang mamaya? May
mga magpeperform mamaya so sana makapag stay pa kayo. ‘Wag kayo mag-alala, sagot ko
na food nyo."

Jhoanna looked at her expectantly.

"Well, Stacey said she'll look out tonight so I guess I'm free."

---

AIAH'S POV:

The band's on their fifth song and everyone seems to be enjoying it. They're singing along
with them. The place actually looked like a small community. It has this homey feeling to it.

We're eating the nachos Gwen gave us. She's beside the stage since she's hosting. Jhoanna's
sitting beside me, singing along with the band. Even in the darkness, I can see her face. She
looks beautiful.

"Okay! And that is the fifth song brought to you by Over October." Everyone cheered. The
band is really good.
"Okay, next up. Actually, meron tayong special guest. For sure, yung mga matagal na naming
customers, namiss nyo ‘tong boses na ito."

Suddenly I heard Jhoanna curse under her breath.

"Shet."

I was initially lost until the spotlight landed on us, or on her particularly.

"Jho, my friend! Akyat ka naman dito oh. Kahit dalawang kanta lang?" Gwen started
approaching us.

"Sana may pa-warning, ano?" she hissed softly.

"Surprise?" Gwen just laughed and assisted Jhoanna up on stage. Everyone around me
clapped. Of course, I cheered harder.

"So, good evening everyone. I'm Jhoanna, close friend ni ate Gwen. Actually, excited sana
ako sa kung sinong special guest tonight, not until tinawag ako bigla ni ate Gwen," everyone
laughed.

"Okay, since hindi ako prepared, hindi ko alam anong kakantahi–" just then, a hand sticks out
with a phone at hand, a song lyrics on-screen, "Ay, nagdesisyon na pala sila. May kakantahin
pala ako," we laughed more. Seems like Gwen planned this already.

"I hope you enjoy tonight. Let's go."

Just then, the guitar started playing. I know this song.

 Natapos na ang lahat

andito pa rin ako

Hetong nakatulala

Sa mundo, sa mundo

Hindi mo maiisip

Hindi mo makikita

Ang mga pangarap ko

Para sa 'yo, para sa 'yo

Hearing that voice again feels different than hearing it over the phone. I can feel her emotions
flowing.

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Hindi ko maisip kung wala ka

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Sa buhay ko

I looked into her eyes and our gaze met. I can feel her soul speaking with mine. Her eyes
speak every emotion she wants to convey. I just felt like we're the only ones in the room and
she's singing to me.

Everyone was silent throughout, not daring to make any noise to disrupt the beautiful voice
filling the place that is Jhoanna's.

I even heard someone sniffing from the back, probably feeling emotional.
Once the last guitar strum ended, everyone erupted in cheers, all amazed at Jhoanna's
performance.

I gotta admit. This girl is so damn talented.

"Thank you everyone. Shet, nakakakaba pala. Ang tagal na nung last akong sumalang dito sa
stage. Ganitong-ganito feeling ko nung unang surgery ko."

She looked around before turning in my direction. I gave her a satisfied smile, telling her that
she did great.

She sang another pop song, much lighter than the one she sang earlier. Every one of us sang
along, ending the night with smiles and laughter.

"So, ayos ba?" she asked once she sat on her chair. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead.

"I know you can sing but hearing you sing live is a whole new experience." I decided to be
honest with her. I've been teasing her the whole day anyway.

"So, I take it na nagustuhan mo?"

"I'm your fan."

"Thanks…" she scratched the back of her head and looked down, a habit I noticed whenever
she was shy or embarrassed. She's just too adorable.
---

NO ONE'S POV:

It's already ten in the evening and the shop's already closing. The night was too enjoyable that
Aiah failed to notice that her phone had drained.

"Thanks again, Gwen. Tonight was really enjoyable," she bowed to the head chef.

"Walang anuman, Aiah. Welcome ka lagi dito. Thank you din sa pag visit."

She then faced Jhoanna and gave a somewhat serious expression.

"Jho, pwedeng usap lang tayo saglit sa office? Saglit lang ‘to, promise."

Jhoanna looked at Aiah, confusion on her face.

"Balik agad ako, Aiah."

The two walked inside Gwen’s office before the owner closed the door.

"Ate?" Jhoanna asked, still clueless.

"Upo ka muna, Jho."

She sat down, although quite unsure about what Gwen wanted to talk about.
She breathes in deep.

"Jho. Kilala kita."

"Huh? Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Aware ka naman siguro na may ex si Aiah, and yung possibility na baka may feelings pa sila
sa isa’t isa. Jhoanna, umuwi yung tao ng bansa nung nalaman nyang naaksidente yung ex
nya. If that doesn’t tell you something, ‘di ko na alam. In fact, pasyente mo pa yung ex nya so
for sure, kita mo naman."

"I…" Jhoanna paused for a while, processing what Gwen had told her.

"Wala naman akong ginagawa ah? Atsaka alam ko naman. Hindi naman s'ya basta-basta
lilipad pauwi kung wala lang yung ex nya sa kanya."

Gwen reached out for Jhoanna's arm, giving her sisterly comfort that the latter missed.

"I'm just checking up on you. Alam mong nasa vulnerable state s'ya ngayon. Okay lang
naman na andyan ka para sa kanya pero know your limits, alright?"

"Alam ko naman, ate. Salamat."

"Pero ate," she continued, "I have to be there for her, lalo na ngayon."

Gwen looked at her, confused. "Huh? Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

Jhoanna closed her eyes, remembering her conversation with Doc Mallari earlier. "Si Mikha
Lim…"

"Ex ni Aiah?"

"Yeah… Alam kong confidential ‘to pero ang hirap sarilihin, tsaka I trust you with all my
secrets, so...”

She breathes in deeply before continuing, “Kinausap ako ni Doc Mallari kanina. Hindi na
maganda ang lagay ni Mikha. She’s basically on life support. Oo, gumagana pa naman yung
utak nya pero hindi na nagrerespond katawan nya dito. Worse part, yung puso nya, sobrang
unstable. Marami pa ring mga possible complications na binabantayan kami ngayon."

"Sinasabi mo bang…"

Jhoanna looked at her dead in the eyes, distaste starting to creep into her mouth from the
words she was about to say.

"Pwede s'yang mawala ano mang oras."

Flashback…

Once Stacey and Aiah left the office, Doc Mallari's smile was gone. Jhoanna closed the door
before returning to her seat.

"I'll be transparent, Doc Robles. For sure naman, nabasa mo na yung results kanina."
"Yes, Doc Mallari. Medyo na-surprise ako sa sinabi mo sa kanila, actually."

"Well, although the current results are like that, gusto ko pa rin sila bigyan ng pag-asang
magising si Ms. Lim. It's still possible naman. Pero chances are extremely low."

Jhoanna looked at the report once more, "So the RAS and the neurons are severely
damaged?"

"Yes. She had a severe concussion nung dinala s'ya dito. She had a combination of traumatic
and hypoxic-ischemic injury."

He continued, "It's also unlikely na magising s'ya within a few weeks. The best we can hope
for is at least a vegetative state. Pero ganun pa man, sa lala ng brain damage nya, it's
unlikely she'll recover to her normal state again. Baka s'ya lang din ang mahirapan if i-
prolong yung treatment ‘pag hindi nagbago yung state nya. Also, her vital signs are also
unstable, and that it's really alarming."

"So, you're saying that..."

"They might lose her anytime."

Silence filled the room after Jhoanna said those words. The atmosphere suddenly felt so
thick, that anyone could slice through the air with a knife.

"Wala akong motibo, ate Gwen. Sabi ko nga, gusto ko lang talaga maging emotional support
nya. I just wanna look out for her. Alam ko ang pakiramdam ng mawalan."

Instead of a rebut, Gwen just gave a sad smile to the doctor.

"Basta ano… ingat ka nalang. Kita ko namang comfortable na s'ya sa’yo. Hindi rin siguro
nya pansin sa sarili nya, given na kailangan nya lahat ng emotional support na makukuha
nya. Pero tiwala naman ako sa’yo, Jho. Basta ingatan mo lagi puso mo."

They both stood up, ending their conversation with a hug.

"Balik na tayo? Inaantay ka na ni Aiah."

Once they're back, Aiah gives a questioning gaze at Jhoanna, with the latter only shrugging it
off.

"Just something personal. Tara na?"

"Sure, I'll just call a taxi."

Jhoanna gently pulled Aiah by her arm towards her car. "Hindi, ihatid nalang kita. Gabi na
rin."

"But–"

"Please? Ako naman humila sa’yo dito so responsibility kong ihatid ka."

"Alright…"

As the two entered the vehicle, Gwen waved at them both, giving a knowing look to Jhoanna.
"Bye, ate Gwen!"

---

"Lagay mo lang address mo sa GPS," Jhoanna pointed at the touchscreen on the dashboard.
Aiah complied.

They settled in a quiet atmosphere, both deep in thoughts. Jhoanna can't forget what Gwen
told her earlier. Aiah, on the other hand, has been thinking about a lot of things.

"Thank you for tonight, Jhoanna. I really mean it."

"Glad you enjoyed it."

They fell into another silence, with Jhoanna navigating the road expertly. She's familiar with
Aiah's address since it's just along the way to her house now that she realizes it.

"Here's me," Aiah spoke once the silhouette of her apartment appeared. Jhoanna parked her
Raptor by the curbside before exiting the vehicle and running towards the passenger door.
She assisted Aiah in stepping out of the vehicle.

"Good night, Aiah. Pahinga ka na."

 "Good night to you too, Jhoanna. Thank you and drive safe."

Aiah gave a quick hug before running towards her apartment, a bit embarrassed by her action.
Jhoanna on the other hand, just stood there, frozen.

Once she's back from her reverie, she returns to the driver's seat. She was about to hit the gas
when her work phone rang loudly, filling the whole space inside her car.

"Doc Jea?" confused when she read the caller ID, she answered it anyway.

"Doc Jea? Nagdadri–"

"Doc Jho! Punta kang ospital ngayon na!"

"Anong –"

"Si Mikha Lim."

##

Chapter End Notes

Eyy fast updates for Saving Grace hehe (nasa drafts na kase sya actually)

(For Nandito lang, iuupdate ko rin yan wait lang hahahuhu sorrimasen nasa somewhere
lang ako)
 Confessions and False Hopes
Chapter Summary

Mikha Lim in an emergency... Stacey's confession... Doc Robles' painful past?

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

CONFESSIONS AND FALSE HOPES

JHOANNA'S POV:

"Si Mikha Lim."

That was the last thing I remember before stomping down on my gas pedal and turning my
steering wheel rapidly. I'll probably leave tire marks here but I couldn’t care less.

Doc Jea only calls my work phone if there is an emergency.

Mikha Lim is in an emergency.

Within 15 minutes, I managed to arrive at the hospital unscathed, thankfully.

I threw my keys haphazardly to the parking attendant after stepping out of my car in front of
the hospital entrance. I don't have the time to care about parking right now.

"Doc Jho!" I heard Doc Jea’s voice rushing down from the corridor.

"Doc Jea! What's the status?"

"Biglang bumagsak blood pressure nya. Bagsak na rin pati oxygen level nya. Nahihirapan
s'yang huminga. May mga nurses na sa loob. Buti nalang nag-alert agad si Ms. Sevilleja."

Once I arrived, I saw Stacey standing at the side, her face riddled with worry and fear.

I looked at the ECG monitor and sighed. The numbers are dropping fast. This is what I'm
afraid of.

---

After an excruciating 45 minutes, I managed to stabilize her, hooking her to the ventilator
since her respiratory system had already collapsed. I can see Stacey grimacing at the sight of
the tracheal tube sticking out of her neck.

"Sa wakas…" I said as I wiped away the beads of sweat from my forehead.

"Thank you so much, Doc Robles," Stacey was on the verge of crying.

"Buti nalang, umabot ako."

"Kaya nga eh. Tinatawagan ko si ate Aiah kaso unattended."

"Baka mas okay na balitaan nalang natin s'ya bukas. Baka tulog na rin s'ya ngayon." I'll just
pass by tomorrow morning before going to work.

Doc Jea and the other nurses bid their farewells as they went out of the room, leaving only
me and Stacey inside.

I sat down beside her on the sofa, feeling fatigue creeping over my body. All the adrenaline I
felt earlier has taken over my body.

"Magiging okay pa ba s'ya, doc?" I heard Stacey ask. I looked at her. Her eyes are glued on
the figure lying on the bed, now with more tubes attached.

Should I tell her upfront?

Well, they deserve to know.

"Ms. Sevilleja, to be honest…" I paused. How am I gonna tell them? But they should know,
right?

I inhaled deeply. So deep, that I almost choked on my own saliva. This part of my job is
never easy. I'm basically taking away their hopes.

I look at her face, then in Mikha's direction. Given what happened tonight, I'm guessing
Stacey has an idea already. And from what I can see, she has much more control of her
emotions compared to Aiah. I guess telling her first will help.

"Ms. Sevilleja, I'll be frank. Palala nang palala condition ni Ms. Lim."
She stayed silent, looking elsewhere, but I knew she was listening to me. She's probably deep
in thought right now.

"Irreversible na yung brain damage nya. Nagcollapse na respiratory system nya kaya hindi na
rin s'ya nakakahinga ng sarili nya. Kaya need natin mag perform ng tracheostomy sa kanya
Tsaka kahit magkamalay s'ya, chances are mag stay lang s'ya sa vegetative state, gagalaw
lang katawan nya by reflex pero hindi na voluntarily."

"Meaning ba, never na s'yang babalik sa normal?"

I had to pause at her question. Even though I explained it medically, answering her straight to
the point will always be heavy.

"Ms. Lim's long-term prognosis is still uncertain. Pero sa results na meron tayo ngayon, it
would take a miracle para magising s'ya within two months."

Both of us heaved a sigh. I think Stacey now understands the weight of the situation.

"Doc Robles?"

I looked at her. She's still looking elsewhere, looking a bit lost. She definitely looked
exhausted, compared to when we met this morning.

"Hmm?"

"Sasabihin mo ba kay ate Aiah?"

"Plano ko naman talaga. Pag nagkita ulit kami."

She then looked at me. I can see the bags under her eyes.

"Hayaan mong ako na magsabi bukas."

"Sige, Ms. Sevilleja."

We sat there in silence for another minute, with only the sound of the ECG monitor filling the
room. It's taunting.

"May lakad ka pa ata nung tinawagan ka nila. Yan pa rin yung suot mo nung umalis ka
kanina. Sorry, need mo pa magmadali papunta dito."

"Galing ako sa friend ko kanina. Pauwi na ako nung tumawag si Doc Jea. Okay lang yun. It's
part of my job."

"Mukhang hindi rin dinala ni ate Aiah sasakyan nya…" right. I don't think Stacey knew about
earlier. I guess it's alright to tell her. Besides, I just introduced her to a friend.

"About that. Kasama ko s'ya actually kanina papunta sa resto nung friend ko. Sabi ko, sabay
nalang kami para hindi na s'ya magdrive pa."

"So, magkasama kayo kanina?" she put her full attention on me. I can't read her expression.
This is getting me nervous all of a sudden.

I looked elsewhere, landing my eyes accidentally on my patient. Aiah’s ex.

"Uh, oo. Kakahatid ko lang sa kanya actually nung tinawagan ako ni Doc Jea." I closed my
eyes for a moment.
I didn't hear another question for a while. I opened my eyes and looked at Stacey. She's
looking down on the floor, all seriousness written on her face.

"Parang ang close nyo."

"Hmm, siguro naging close na rin kami."

"Naalala ko yung subway na dinala mo dati Tsaka yung roast beef, sa’yo rin ba nanggaling?"

"Yes…" I answered softly, a little too carefully. I'm not sure what she's pointing out here. Her
tone doesn't help.

"Ngayon lang kayo nagkita, no? I mean, dito sa ospital lang kayo nagmeet?"

So, she doesn't know about London? Should I be honest? I have no clue what I'm getting into.

"Actually…" I paused. I can see her face painted with anticipation.

"Nagmeet na kami dati pa… sa London. Pero isang gabi lang yun."

"London… Holy shit," was all Stacey could mutter. I'm guessing she's already put two and
two together.

"So ikaw pala yun? From the club?" all I can do is nod slowly. I don't know if I should be
embarrassed.

"No wonder…" Now, she's more like talking to herself at this point. Will she be mad?
"Sorry, wala talaga akong clue sa relationship status ni Ms. Arceta nung time na yun. HIndi
ko naman talaga intention na ganun mangyari that night. It's just–"

"Okay lang, doc. Nakwento na ni ate Aiah kung anong nangyari. Actually, naguilty pa nga
s'ya since bigla s'yang umalis. Hindi naman kasi talaga yun nag-gaganun, ung ONS. And
break naman na sila nung time na yun, so technically, single naman s'ya nung nangyari yun sa
inyo. Hindi na sila nag-usap mas'yado mula nung umalis si ate Aiah. Pero lagi pa rin naman
akong kinukulit ni ate sa updates about kay Mikhs since feeling nya, s'ya responsible bakit
nagkaganito s'ya."

I remember her story about London. Also, the reason why she left for London.

"Pero siguro, sobrang guilty ni ate Aiah ngayon kaya she’s taking responsibility sa nangyari
kay Mikhs na as if sila pa rin. May tendency kasi s'yang sisihin lagi sarili nya."

“Nagulat lang ako, I mean, she flew all the way from London papuntang Pinas, given na may
work s'ya sa London, ‘diba? And you’re telling me ex na nya si Ms. Lim matagal na? I
thought recent lang sila nagbreak so natakot talaga ako since yung nangyari samin sa
London…”

"Siguro sa perspective ni ate Aiah, feeling nya, yung breakup dahilan bakit nagkaganito si
Mikhs, kaya sarili nya sinisisi nya sa lahat ng nangyari, ayaw man nyang aminin. Kahit
naman sinaktan s'ya ni Mikhs dati, handa s'yang palampasin yun kasi si Mikhs yun."

Well, that somehow makes sense, in Aiah’s sense, that is.

I don't know why but I just had to breathe a sigh of relief. At least I know Stacey isn't about
to kill me.

“Actually, nakwento ni Ms. Arceta sakin dati kung anong nangyari. How they ended up with
that kind of relationship."
I can see Stacey's surprised face. Looks like she didn't expect that Aiah would tell me.

"I'm surprised na nagkwento sa’yo si ate Aiah pero to be honest, na-feel ko namang
ikekwento talaga nya sa’yo yun, hindi lang ganito kaaga."

"Yeah. Nagulat din ako nung binuhos nya lahat. Nalungkot talaga ako para sa kanilang
dalawa."

Stacey shifted her gaze to the sleeping patient again, and it seemed like she was recalling
some memories.

"Sobrang hirap panoorin yang dalawa dati. Na-amaze nga ako kay ate Aiah kasi natagalan
nya na ganun situation nilang dalawa."

I kept silent, urging her to continue.

"Palagi nalang akong pumapagitna sa dalawang yan. Hindi ko maiwan si Mikhs since
bestfriend ko yan ever since. Hindi ko rin naman pwedeng iwan si ate Aiah kasi sa totoo
lang, s'ya yung pinaka agrabyado dito."

"Parang mas malala pa pala mga ganap kesa sa inakala ko."

"Trust me, ang lala talaga as in. Muntik ko nang itakwil si Mikhs nung nagstart s'ya magcheat
kay ate Aiah. I don’t tolerate cheating. Pero may puso pa rin naman ako, pero syempre, ilang
beses ko inaway at pinagsabihan yang si Mikhs. As in may time na nag-away talaga kami sa
bar dahil nahuli ko s'yang ka-momol yung isang model na naka-work nya dati. Napa
barangay pa kami dahil dun." Stacey let out a hollow laugh.

"Nung time na yun, ineexpect kong makikipagbreak na si ate Aiah kasi ang lala eh. Kita ko
kung gaano kasakit yun for ate Aiah. Pero tiniis lang nya lahat yun at nagbulag-bulagan."
"Parang sobrang bigat naman nun para kimkimin, don't you think?"

"Yeah, and that's exactly what happened. Nagsimula na s'yang mag self destruct." I can see
Stacey's expression turned darker.

"Si ate Aiah, muntik na nyang mawala sarili nya nung time na yun. Kahit kami, nag-aaway
narin dahil sobrang irrational na nya minsan mag-isip. Pero gets ko naman bakit s'ya
nagkakaganun."

"Ano ibig mong sabihin?"

"Nung time na yun, wala na yung pag-ibig na meron sila dati. Sa halip, ang nakita ko lang
talaga kay ate Aiah ay guilt at pity. What she's feeling for Mikhs is pity, pero akala nya, love
pa rin."

Thinking about it now, it explains a lot why Aiah's like that. I'm actually seeing Aiah in a
broken state right now.

Then there was silence between us that I was too scared to break.

"Doc Robles…” she called softly, sounding defeated.

I looked at her worriedly.

“Kung dumating tayo sa araw na yun, will you be there for her?"

That day… did she mean the day Mikha's…

"I'll look out for her," I said with much conviction.

"Alam kong sobrang unfair para sa’yo nito. Lalo na't hindi ko naman alam kung anong meron
sa inyong dalawa. And alam kong sobrang complicated nya, lalo pa’t pasyente mo si Mikhs.
Pero alam ko ring pag nawala si Mikhs, baka hindi kayanin ni ate Aiah. Sisisihin nya sarili
nya. Tuluyan na s'yang mawawala sa sarili nya. Alam ko namang she’s trying her best to be
strong pero hindi natin alam ang breaking point nya. And I can only do much for her. I know
I'm asking too much sa’yo doc pero will you help me take care of her? Alam kong hindi ko
kakayanin mag-isa."

I can hear the plea in her voice. And the fact that she accepted Mikha's fate, I have no words.

I understand her side. In the process, she's technically gonna lose someone, too, the same as
Aiah. She'll be losing a best friend. It'll be hard for her to console Aiah if she herself is
feeling lost.

All I can do is nod and swallow the lump in my throat.

"Thank you, Doc Robles."

---

NO ONE'S POV:

The next morning came in fast and Jhoanna was already driving to work. She came home
really late due to unforeseen events last night so today, she's wearing extra dark sunglasses to
cover her red eyes and dark circles.

Coincidence as it may be called, but she spotted a familiar figure by the curbside, who
seemed to be waiting for a taxi.
She stopped in front of the girl before rolling down the window.

"Papunta kang ospital?"

"Yeah. May utang ako kay Staks so agahan ko ngayon."

"Sabay ka na. Papasok na rin naman ako."

Aiah did as she was told. She didn't argue anymore since it's more practical this way.

The drive was silent. Jhoanna has a lot on her mind. The emergency from last night, the talk
with Stacey and Gwen, this thing between them, and not to mention the lack of sleep and the
slight headache forming in the back of her head.

"What's with the sunglasses? Hindi naman maaraw." Aiah chuckled. It's true. The clouds
cover the whole of Metro Manila today so there's no reason to wear sunglasses unless you're
covering something, which is what the doctor is exactly doing.

"Wala naman. Medyo sensitive lang ako sa liwanag pag nagdadrive." That was total bullshit,
Jhoanna thought.

"Oh…"

She was just glad Aiah didn't inquire further.

"Kumain ka na?" the doctor asked.

"I'm planning to grab something for me and Staks along the way."

"No need."

"Huh?" Aiah asked, confused.

"Check the backseat. May paperbag dyan."

Indeed, when she looked behind, beside the doctor's duffle bag, sat a plain brown paper bag.
She reached for it and placed it on her lap.

"You've brought us food?" she asked in awe while checking the bag's contents. Inside were
two sets of disposable bento boxes and two chopsticks.

"Ano, namiss ko lang magluto. Kaya ayun, naparami din luto ko kanina. Tsaka para
maiwasan nyo mga take-outs and fast foods. Hindi sila healthy. Tsaka walang lasa hospital
food," Jhoanna explained in a fast phase, never taking her eyes off the road. Aiah doesn't
have to know that this is also a thanks for the talk she had with Stacey last night.

"Awww you didn't have to, you know? Pero sobrang appreciated. Thank you."

"Well, baka lang naman namimiss mo na luto ko so…" Jhoanna added jokingly.

"I would be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to it," Aiah said in a small voice, that
Jhoanna almost didn't catch.

They returned to silence. Jhoanna was already thinking of different scenarios inside her head
about how Aiah would react upon learning about Mikha's current situation.
"Nakapagpahinga ka ba nang ayos?" she asked, eyes still focused on the road.

"I did. Bagsak agad ako after washing up. Hindi ko nga napansin na empty batt na ako.
Kaninang morning ko lang s'ya na-charge."

No wonder Stacey wasn’t able to contact you.

"That's good. You should rest well. At siguro I need to check up on you kung nakakakain ba
kayo ng ayos or hindi nyo napapabayaan sarili nyo."

"You don't have to do all that, Jhoanna. Ayaw ko namang maabala ka pa."

"Okay lang yun. Friends naman na tayo eh. And besides, someone has to look out for you
somehow." I need to look out for you, Aiah.

"Ang sweet mo naman. Are you normally this sweet to your friends?" she asked in a teasing
tone.

I'm only this sweet to people I care about.

"I guess? Sabi nga ni ate Gwen, mukha daw kaming magjowa lagi ng mga friends ko kasi
sobrang sweet ko daw sa kanila."

"Well, ‘di naman s'ya nagkakamali."

She wasn't able to rebut. She doesn't know how to.

Thank goodness they’re already entering the hospital parking lot.

But then she remembered. Stacey's gonna tell her about Mikha's current situation.

After shifting the gear to park, she turned off the engine, leaving them in a deafening silence.

"Aiah, una ka na sa loob. May need lang akong asikasuhin."

"Alright, Jhoanna. Thanks again for breakfast!"

Aiah jumped out of the Raptor, her duffle bag hanging on her right shoulder and the paper
bag on her left hand.

Jhoanna, on the other hand, stayed still in her seat, removing her sunglasses. She needed to
fix her bags with a concealer. She's thankful that she always keeps one in her bag.

Once fixed, she wore her round eyeglasses and duffle bag, before heading out of her car. She
needs to talk to Doc Mallari and have Mikha run some tests again.

---

"Staks!" Aiah greeted as soon as she stepped inside but what greeted her instead was a
snoring Stacey. She just set aside the food and her things, sitting herself on the sofa instead to
avoid disturbing the sleeping girl.

"Wow, tulog ka pa. Nine na."

She decided to let the girl rest. She looks tired, after all. Why does she look tired even?

Her query was answered when she set her eyes on the unconscious patient, who seemed
different than the last time she saw her.

"Wait… what…?"

She walked closer and noticed additional tubes and wires that were not present the last time
she'd been here.

Wait, so were these attached last night?

She's familiar with that equipment. Having a tracheal tube just means that Mikha's not able to
breathe on her own. Which means she's actually getting weaker.

"Mikha? What…" she's lost for words. She didn't look this bad when she left yesterday.

What happened last night?

"Ate?" Aiah's voice woke the sleeping girl up.

"Staks…" it's a tone contrast with her greeting earlier. She has a lot of questions in her mind.

Stacey wiped off the sleep in her eyes. She already has an idea of what Aiah's thinking,
seeing that the girl has been staring at Mikha's lying figure the whole time.

"Ate, kain muna tayo. Sabihin ko sa’yo anong nangyari."

The two are now situated by the counter, eating the bento boxes that Jhoanna had prepared
for them. Stacey's really thankful as she's really hungry.

They ate in silence, with Stacey giving cautious glances at her unnie, while the latter was
eating absentmindedly.

"Tinatawagan kita kagabi, ate."

"Sorry, I didn’t notice my phone’s drained."

Stacey only nodded in acknowledgment.

"Kagabi, si Mikhs… Need nila tawagan si Doc Robles kagabi. Nag collapse respiratory
system nya. Bumagsak blood pressure and oxygen level nya."

Last night? So Jhoanna drove back here after dropping me off?

Aiah paused for a while, absorbing Stacey's explanation. It's hard swallowing the words she's
hearing right now, just like the food that’s stuck in her throat.

"Sobrang natakot ako, ate. Every second felt like forever nung wala pang nurse na
dumarating. Saktong sakto dating ni Doc Robles. Thankfully, na-stabilize nila si Mikhs. Pero
need s'yang kabitan ng tracheal tube para makahinga s'ya."

“No wonder Jhoanna looked so tired…” she whispered to herself, a realization that hit her.

They continued to eat in silence, deciding to discuss the matters just after breakfast.
Once done, Aiah was clearing away the bento boxes when Stacey started speaking.

Here goes nothing.

“Ate…”

Aiah didn’t speak. She’s waiting for the next words.

“We almost lost her last night.”

Silence still occurs, but Aiah seems to stop cleaning up. She settled her arms on her side,
thinking deeply.

“I…” Aiah began, but the words got lost in her mind. She may look calm but her mind’s in
turmoil.

They didn’t speak more. Aiah settled herself beside Stacey on the couch whilst looking at her
ex.

“Staks…” she called so softly that it actually scared Stacey.

“Ate?”

She heard a deep sigh from Aiah. “Tell me, may sense pa ba to hold on?”

“Ate Aiah…” Stacey was about to come closer but Aiah continued.
“I’m not stupid. From what Doc Mallari has discussed, I think I pretty much figured out kung
gaano kalala situation ni Mikha. To be honest, I really think it’s only a miracle we’re in a
hospital right now and not in a funeral.”

“Ate Aiah, ‘wag ka magsalita ng ganyan! She’s here because she’s still fighting.”

Aiah looked stern. Chills ran down Stacey’s back upon looking at her eyes.

“Fighting? What if ang gusto talaga nya is to end this suffering? Na we’re just holding her
back from finally taking a rest? For all we know, mas gusto nyang makasama parents nya
kesa sa’tin right now. And hindi ba mas mapapadali for all of us if she’s dea–”

She wasn’t able to continue due to the hand that met her cheek.

“TAMA NA!”

Everything went silent, even the doctor who was just about to knock on their door.

Jhoanna’s hand hung midair after hearing Stacey’s outburst.

Carefully, she knocked softly, letting the occupants know of her existence before sliding the
door slowly.

“Okay lang ba pumasok?” She peeked her head inside first while observing the room.

Aiah was holding onto her cheek and Stacey’s standing in front of her, her face red from
anger.

She let out a deep breath to calm herself.

“Pasok ka, doc. I’m sorry sa narinig mo.”

Jhoanna opened the door fully to let herself in. She walked through the thick atmosphere
surrounding them due to the heated encounter earlier. She’s dreading this moment right now,
really.

“I-check ko lang s'ya, kung okay lang,” she said calmly. Stacey just nodded. Aiah was still
looking down, holding onto her throbbing cheek. Stacey did hit her hard.

“Tsaka ano…” Jhoanna added on, which caught the two’s attention.

“I’m going to discuss with you her current situation, kung okay lang sa’yo, Ms. Arceta?” she
then specifically looked at the said girl.

“Sure, go ahead.” Jhoanna nodded in acknowledgment.

She began checking the different apparatuses attached to Mikha one by one while scribbling
on her clipboard.

Once done, she pocketed her pen and faced the two.

“Alright. Upon checking, okay naman yung kabit ng tracheal tube. Wala naman naging issue
with the operation from last night.”

“As for her prognosis, I’m afraid need na nakakabit yung tube indefinitely. Her respiratory
system has collapsed and mukhang hindi pa s'ya magrerecover anytime soon. I’m terribly
sorry...”
“Okay lang, doc. You did well. Nakay Mikhs na ang desisyon.” Jhoanna only nodded in
encouragement.

“I guess I should go…” she looked at Stacey, then at Aiah who’s still looking quite lost.

“Balik ako ng hapon for another round.”

Jhoanna sighs once she’s out of the room. She heard everything Aiah had said. As much as
she wanted to talk to her, she was afraid she might overstep her boundaries.

Back inside the room, the atmosphere is still as tense as before. Aiah has been silent since
Stacey slapped her.

“Sorry talaga, ate. Ayoko talagang sampalin ka, pero kailangan mong magising.”

Aiah stood up and approached the younger.

“Staks, I’m sorry for what I’ve said earlier. It’s just that I feel so lost and I’m not thinking
straight so–”

“Okay lang yan, ate Aiah. Naiintindihan naman kita. Alam ko nararamdaman mo…” Aiah
wanted to smile at that. Instead, Stacey gave a sad smile so painful that it worries the older.

“Tutal, pinaubaya ko s'ya para sa’yo…”

What?
Aiah looked at Stacey, confused at her words.

“What?”

Stacey is now trying to avoid her eyes. It’ll be the first time she’s opening this up.

“I gave Mikhs up for you.”

“Staks…”

“I was once in love with her. Best friend ko s'ya eh. Kababata ko pa. Pero nung nakita ko
paano nyo tingnan ang isa’t-isa? I figured, deserve nya yung love na kaya mong ibigay. Tsaka
ikaw rin. You deserve the love that’s reciprocated. Kaya nag step aside nalang ako and
nagpaka cupid sa inyong dalawa. Ang cliche, no? Pero tingnan mo naman. Tumagal kayo ng
eleven years. Kahit na kailangan nyo maghiwalay along the way...”

The sad smile Stacey gave didn’t ease Aiah’s insides. She felt guilty all of a sudden.

Guilty of what? She just fell in love. She didn’t break any relationship or steal someone from
someone.

“Staks… I have no idea…” Aiah trailed off, not knowing what to say.

She should’ve noticed it back then. Mikha and Stacey had been inseparable when she met
them. They look so close. Why didn’t she notice it before?

Conflicting feelings started to cloud her mind.

“Okay lang yun, ate Aiah. Ako naman yung kusang sumuko. Wala kang ginawang mali.
Nagmahal ka lang. Ako yung duwag. Kaya ‘wag ka nang maguilty.”

“Does she know?” Aiah questioned.

“Never akong umamin. Sobrang takot ako dati. Bestfriend ko yan eh. Pero nung time na
nagkalakas na ako ng loob, huli na ako. And knowing her, kung umamin ako nung time na
nagkakamabutihan na kayo, makakagulo lang ako for sure. She’s too kind to disregard me.”

“That is true…”

She then remembered a part of Stacey’s statement.

Right. They’ve broken up. There’s nothing between them anymore.

But maybe if we didn’t break up, we wouldn’t be in this situation. It’s your fault, Aiah, she
thought to herself.

Stacey failed to notice the internal battle occurring inside Aiah’s mind. She’s too distressed
herself to think of anything else.

Both stayed silent for a while, with each one of them having a lot on their minds.

“Pwede yosi lang ako saglit? I just need some relief.” Aiah stood up to grab her cigarette
from her bag.

“Kala ko, tumigil ka na?”

“I thought so, too.”

She went out of the room, finally able to breathe in deeply for the first time since their heated
argument.

Aiah went towards the back part of the hospital, where the smoking area was. She wished
that it was just her who would be smoking. She doesn’t want any attention right now.

As soon as she exited the main building, she saw a familiar grey button-up that she saw just
this morning.

“Doc Robles?”

“Ms. Arceta,” Jhoanna nodded in acknowledgment before puffing out a mouthful of smoke
away from Aiah’s direction.

“On break?”

“Yeah. ‘Di na kinakaya ng kape so eto ako ngayon.” She attempted to laugh but a dry one just
came out instead.

“Kamusta pisngi mo?” she inquired.

“How’d you–”

“Papasok na sana ako ng room nyo nang marinig ko nangyari. Sorry…”

“Oh…” Aiah doesn’t know to what extent Jhoanna has heard. Now, she’s too embarrassed to
face the doctor after her outburst earlier.
“Actually, nung umaga pa lang, gusto ko nang sabihin sa’yo about sa situation ni Ms. Lim.
Pero nagrequest si Ms. Sevilleja na s'ya nalang daw magsasabi sa’yo.”

Aiah only nodded, lighting up the stick held by her lips with Jhoanna’s already-lit stick.

“Ikaw, Aiah, kamusta ka?” Jhoanna asked, looking in the girl’s direction.

Aiah knew immediately that Jhoanna’s asking her as a friend, not a doctor. She really needed
that.

She puffed a mouthful of smoke, “I actually don’t know. I’m scared, Jhoanna.” Aiah faced
the doctor.

“As much as I want to deny it, but I know what’s coming. I’m done believing in false hopes.”

The way Aiah said it kinda reminded her of her old self. She, too, doesn’t believe in those
anymore. Not after she left her holding on to a false promise.

"I know, Aiah. I know…"

The way Jhoanna shifted her eyes away tells her that she's reliving a memory, something
Aiah's really curious about. But of course, she knows her boundaries.

"I also learned about how Stacey really felt for Mikha. I actually felt worse."

"Oh…" with the effort Stacey has willingly put for Mikha, Jhoanna wasn't actually surprised
about it.

"Do you think it's worth holding on?" Aiah asked, gaze directed towards the horizon.
"Aiah, kung sa tingin mo, masamang mag let go, hindi… " that made her look at the doctor.

"Hindi mo masisisi sarili mo if pagod ka na. Lahat naman tayo, may karapatang mapagod at
makaramdam ng pagkatalo. We aren't gods who can defy anything they wish. We can only
live with what's given to us. Mas sasaktan mo lang sarili mo if you keep denying something
na hindi maiiwasang mangyari. Ang magagawa mo lang naman ay i-accept yung mga
mangyayari. Well, at least yun yung natutunan ko.”

Aiah shifted her eyes from the horizon to the woman beside her.

“Jhoanna, what–”

“Tara, balik na tayo. Mukhang uulan pa.”

Aiah’s words were left hanging when Jhoanna turned towards the door, not waiting for her
response.

Once Jhoanna was gone, she released a sigh, thinking to herself if she said something wrong.

Puffing the last of her cigarette, she looked up to the sky, a sight she’d never get tired of.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes in the process. She then felt a droplet on her face. She
opened her eyes.

Indeed, the sky’s about to cry.

 ##

Chapter End Notes

updating this ulit para may Jhoaiah nang matapos na AU chz

 Let Me Take Your Photograph
Chapter Summary

Aiah's job-hunting era; a comeback from the past; new opportunities and reconnections

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

LET ME TAKE YOUR PHOTOGRAPH

The next few days didn't go as planned for Aiah. The university wanted her either to be back
in the next three days or she'll have to take a leave for the next semester. And with the
situation Mikha's in right now, anything can happen at any time.

The next thing she knew, she had her laptop on her lap, scrolling through various job
openings in the local universities.

Lips pursed, brows knitted— that's what greeted Stacey when she entered the hospital room.
She also noticed the faint smell of cigarette smoke. She must be stressed, she thought.

"Ate, baka mabutas laptop mo sa titig mo."

She looked at the newcomer before changing her facial expression, realizing what Stacey had
meant.

"Good morning to you, too. I'm just really stressed right now."
The younger sat beside her, looking at the laptop screen. "Job hunting? Paano yung
London?"

"I know. I called the uni. It's either bumalik ako within three days or mag leave ako for the
upcoming semester."

"So plan mong magstay nalang dito?"

Aiah shrugged her shoulders. She's still weighing the options as of now. And she only has
three days.

"I don't think I can leave anytime soon, Staku. But at the same time, need ko rin naman
magtrabaho."

Stacey paused for a bit, thinking to herself.

"Hmmm, I was thinking…" she started, still looking at nothing in particular.

"Do you have any suggestions?"

"Now that you mention it, may naalala ako sa agency namin."

Aiah broke her attention from her laptop and focused on Stacey instead.

"Nasa’yo pa ba mga camera & gears mo?"

"Yeah, they're in my apartment."

Stacey fetched her phone and checked her email, searching for a specific one from their head.

"Kasi ano, merong bagong model na na-sign up samin last week. Hindi s'ya ganun ka
comfortable sa mga lalaking photographers, kaya plan nila mag assign ng female
photographer sa kanya. Problem is, halos lahat ng photographer namin, puro lalaki. Ako
naman, fully booked until end ng quarter. So naghahanap kami ng babaeng photographer."

Aiah digested everything Stacey said, slowly processing her message.

"So, you're saying that I should try and apply?"

Stacey nodded, "Why not? I mean, for sure ibang-iba s'ya sa pagiging professor pero
magaling ka naman eh. Iendorse pa kita sa boss ko. Send mo lang sakin portfolio at CV mo
tas ako na bahala."

Her brows furrowed, thinking of her friend's suggestion. She knows where Stacey works and
it's definitely not just some small-time agency. That, and it's actually more practical than
returning to London at the moment. This might actually work... if she’ll be able to get the job,
that is.

She exhales loudly, making up her mind. "Fine. I'll send you my portfolio in a bit. Might as
well try."

Once she returned home that day, she rummaged through her storage room and found a dry
box sitting in the corner. She pulled it out of the room and settled the heavy material in the
middle of her study table.

It's been a while since she last used her camera. In London, the school has its own equipment
so she doesn't need to use her own.
She opened the dry box and retrieved the contents. She then found some SD cards and film
negatives kept together with the camera.

"I wonder what's inside."

She grabbed her laptop and inserted the first SD card in the card slot. She has no clue as to
what's inside since the label was already smudged.

Upon looking at the card's content, she can't help but give a sad smile.

It's their first out-of-country trip as a couple. She literally made it like Mikha's photoshoot
with the way the photos were taken. This was taken some two years ago.

They were all smiles as if there was nothing wrong in this world. She can see how Mikha
looked at her lovingly.

After going through all of the cards' contents, she looked at the film negatives. She doesn't
remember using film cameras so she's quite unsure why she has those.

She checked the dry box further, only then noticing another camera not belonging to her.

"A Minolta? Where have I seen this?"

She remembered seeing this before. But as much as she's a photographer, she's also practical.
That's why she never really bothered to venture into vintage film cameras. But she knows
someone who's a fan of anything vintage.

Mikha.
She remembered teaching her photography during their university days. So she knows the
girl has enough knowledge about photography. She was actually surprised that her girlfriend
actually got a vintage film camera instead.

She grabbed the film negatives next. Using her phone as a backlight, she looked at each
frame, leaving her mouth agape.

It's all candid shots of her, from her sleeping to her silhouette while watching the sunset at the
beach. It's not that many but each shot is really a work of art.

Mikha can really make anything a work of art.

"If she took photography, she'd be really good at it."

She sat there for a while, looking once more at the photos she found just recently.

After about an hour, she decided to clean up and call it a day. Besides, she'll dive into a huge
decision-making tomorrow so she'd need all the rest she could.

---

Stacey fixed herself for the last time in front of the mirror before grabbing her duffle bag and
camera bag while sitting on the couch. She looked at the time. It's already 10 am.

"Thank you talaga, ate Aiah. Sorry bigla kitang napag-stay ng weekend." Stacey said
apologetically.
Stacey's booked for an upcoming photoshoot and she has no choice but to have Aiah watch
Mikha for the whole weekend. It was a sudden change of schedule from the agency and
Stacey had no choice but to comply.

"I told you it's really fine with me. Ako nga dapat mag apologize for this mess."

"Ano ka ba, ate. Wala na yun! Sobrang love ko kayong dalawa, hindi ko kayang hindi kayo
nakikita kahit isang araw."

Aiah just rolled her eyes while giggling, "Just go and work hard. I'm cringing."

Stacey just stuck her tongue out before leaving the hospital room.

She's now left alone with her unconscious ex. The silence is making her deaf.

It's been hours of silence while she's still browsing different job openings in Manila. She had
bookmarked some but is still hesitating to send her resume. She only has today and tomorrow
left.

A knock came on the door. It must be the doctor, she thought.

The door slid open and Jhoanna entered with her eyes stuck on her clipboard.

"Good morning, Ms. Sevilleja. Check lang ako for my usual rou—"

"Morning, Doc Robles."

That greeting made the doctor look up after hearing a fairly familiar voice.

"Ms. Arceta! Himala, pang-umaga ka ngayon." Jhoanna smiled at her. It's usually Stacey who
would be looking out at this time of day.

"Nice seeing you, too, Doc Robles. May schedule si Staku this weekend so ako lang
magbabantay."

"I see."

Jhoanna bowed a little before walking closer to the patient, adjusting her spectacles in the
process.

Aiah can't help but observe Jhoanna's facial expression. She was suddenly reminded of that
afternoon at the smoking area.

The doctor gave out a sigh before turning back to Aiah. She has an unreadable expression.

"Ms. Arceta, upon checking, ganun pa rin yung respiratory system nya, so wala tayong other
options but to keep her tracheal tube on. Medyo bumababa pulse rate nya sa normal. But
other than that, wala namang masyadong pinagbago since the last time I checked."

"I understand, doc. Thank you."

She was about to leave when she looked back at Aiah, hesitating a bit. She did walk out on
her vaguely the last time they talked.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Not so well, I guess," there's no point in lying, Aiah thought.

"Narinig ko, baka bumalik kang London soon? Nabanggit ni Ms. Sevilleja."

"Hindi pa naman ako sure. Baka I’ll just work here sa Pinas nalang din, due to
circumstances."

"Ohh…" Jhoanna just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I guess I'll see you around, Ms. Arceta."

"Likewise, Doc Robles. See you around."

Jhoanna was holding the door handle but hadn't moved an inch. She's still hesitating about
leaving just like that.

Aiah raised an eyebrow, seeing that the doctor seemed to be stuck on her spot.

"Ms. Arceta?"

"Hmm?"

Jhoanna avoided her gaze. "So, may food akong dala." the doctor said unsurely.

"Okay?" Aiah asked, wondering what the doctor meant.

"Ano… tanong ko lang if gusto mo?"

Aiah's mouth twitched, almost breaking into an amused smile. Amused, because everything
has been so awkward lately. They haven't seen each other much since that afternoon.

She was about to answer but then looked at the patient. She needed to keep an eye on her.

"But Mikh—"

"I mean, dalhin ko sa’yo mamaya. I just wanted to make sure kumakain ka ng tama."

"Sure, Doc Robles."

Aiah had to hold her smile after seeing the doctor's pearl-white teeth for the first time in a
while.

"See you at lunch, Ms. Arceta," she waved goodbye before exiting the room.

Once the doctor was gone, she moved her gaze to her unconscious ex-lover.

"There's no harm, right?"

"I mean, it's just nice to talk to someone. She's a good friend. She’s keeping me sane."

"I think she would've done the same if it was Staku who was here."

She stopped talking to herself once she realized how stupid she might have looked. Thank
goodness no one else is inside.
"She’s a good friend,” Aiah repeated again, more like to herself than to Mikha.

As if she’s being questioned, she answered absentmindedly, “We’re not like that. Para s'yang
kung papaano si Staks sakin, but a more caring and mature version. I can see that she also
takes extra care of you."

A few seconds and she sighs to herself, “What am I even saying? I’m starting to talk to
myself more and more.”

---

AIAH'S POV:

Lunch came by quickly and right on time, I heard a knock from the door.

"Come in!"

Jhoanna slid inside, a paper bag at hand.

"Home-cooked food tayo for today."

I immediately cleared the table, setting aside my laptop. She placed the paper bag in the
middle.

"Do you always bring extra food with you?" I asked, curious.
"Well, ‘di naman lagi. Naparami lang talaga luto ko kanina. Plano ko rin naman talaga i-share
kay Ms. Sevilleja kung s'ya naka duty today."

"She loves your cooking. Matutuwa yun."

I saw her smile at that. "Buti naman! See you later nalang ulit sa rounds ko."

"Saan ka punta?" I asked as I saw her opening the door.

"Uh… sa cafeteria, kakain?"

Should I invite her? Would it be okay?

It took me a while to speak, contemplating if I should ask or not.

Well, no harm in having some company during lunch, I guess.

"Why don't you, uhm… eat here instead?" I asked, albeit shyly. It's still awkward but I could
use a friend to talk to.

"Sure? Ayoko naman makaabala sa iyo or kay Ms. Lim."

"It's fine. I just want some company, I guess. It's also nice to talk to a friend once in a while."

I saw her thinking deeply.

"If you insist."

We ate in silence, with only the cutlery making noise.

Once done, none of us make a move. I think we're both waiting for each other.

"Ms. Arce—"

"Doc Rob—"

We both spoke simultaneously. We could only laugh.

"You first, Doc Robles."

She breathes in deeply and then releases it a second later. She then looked at me directly.

"Sorry dun sa last time. Parang ang rude ko naman nung pinutol ko pag-uusap nation."

"Hey, it's alright. Gets naman na you're not too comfortable sharing personal matters too
much. Okay lang yun." I gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back.

Her smile then turned to a frown with that worried gaze of hers. "Mukha kang stressed at
pagod. Okay ka lang?" I felt her hand reaching for a displaced hair on my forehead, fixing it
for me.
I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t affect me.

"Pahinga ka rin, ha. Baka magkasakit ka nyan."

I just sat there frozen, even after she fixed my hair. I can feel my whole body heating up just
from the touch.

There was a few seconds of silence before Jhoanna stood up straight.

"I-I gotta go. Kita nalang sa mata, Ms. Arceta."

She dashed towards the door even before I could react.

A loud ring suddenly brought me back down to earth.

"Hello?" I said as I hastily answered my phone.

"Ate Aiah, busy ka now?"

"No naman. What's up?"

"Nakapag decide ka na ba kung babalik kang London?" Right. I almost forgot my worst
dilemma of today.

"’Di pa, actually. Wala pa akong nakikitang okay na work dito sa Pinas."
"Well, sabihan mo agad ako if gusto mo magstay dito sa Pinas dahil kung ganon, gusto kang
ma-meet ng boss ko."

I stood up, surprised at what Stacey had just said. Does this mean I might get a job after all?

"You mean—"

"Oo, teh. Nagandahan sila sa portfolio mo so gusto ka nila makausap."

"Shucks, Staku. Totoo ba?! I wasn't really expecting this." I can't hide my surprise. I just tried
it because of Stacey's persistence but I was actually not that confident that I'll get in, given
that I haven't been on the field for quite a while now. That, and I barely do fashion
photography, unlike Stacey.

"Well, believe now dahil nakisuyo na ako sa isa kong pinsan para magbantay bukas dahil
need mo pumunta dito by 10am."

---

NO ONE'S POV:

The next day came by quickly, with Aiah now fixing herself in front of the mirror.

It's only 8:30 am. She made sure to have ample time for preparation in meeting one of the
most well-known figures in fashion photography, Shey Luna, a.k.a Stacey's boss.

A little while later, a knock was heard from the door. Aiah answered immediately, only to be
surprised by a youthful face she hadn't seen in a long time.
"Bebe Shee! It's been a while," she gave the younger a tight hug.

"Ate Aiah! Sobrang namiss kita. Parang one year na tayong ‘di nagkikita."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Biglaan din pag-alis ko that time. Also, I'm sorry to bother you on
such a precious Sunday morning. I know you're busy with uni." Aiah felt bad for the girl. She
has no responsibility over the situation but here she is, wasting her Sunday morning in a
hospital.

"Oks lang yun, ate Aiah. Napaliwanag naman na ni ate Staku nangyari."

Despite the younger's assurance, Aiah was still hesitant if it was all fine with Sheena to do
this.

"Ate, kung gusto mong makabawi sakin, ang hiling ko lang is galingan mo sa interview mo.
Okay?"

That somehow gave Aiah the motivation she was lacking earlier.

She checks her watch and it says 9:20 am. It's time to go.

"Alright. I'll see you later, bebe Shee. Thank you so much!"

---
She arrived at Stacey's workplace ten minutes before 10. She's nervous as hell but she needed
to do well if she wanted to stay here in Manila.

"Ate Aiah! Wow, andito ka ba para maging photographer or maging model? " Stacey jokingly
asked, looking at Aiah from head to toe. She was donned in a fashionable light blue suit, her
hair tied back with just enough makeup to emphasize her features. She could've been
mistaken as a model instead.

"Well, I have to give a good first impression so here I am."

"Trust me. You exude class, confidence, and elegance," Stacey winked at her, causing Aiah to
cringe.

"May need lang ako ayusin. Balikan kita mamaya."

"Okay."

Once Stacey left, she sat down on the black leather sofa by the lobby. She was kind of
nervous since it was only her around, save for the receptionist. She just decided to read some
magazines from the rack, also familiarizing herself with the style of photos she might do in
the future.

Just then, a woman she recognized as the boss passed by, with Aiah catching her attention
immediately.

"Sorry, excuse me, miss. I’m afraid tapos na kami sa casting for models." the woman said.

"Ay, good morning po, miss. Actually, I’m here for—"

"Boss Shey!" Stacey greeted the woman before facing Aiah.

"S'ya yung photographer na inendorse ko," a grin spread across her face once his eyes
widened.

"Talaga? Hindi mo naman sinabing model material din ‘tong friend mo," Aiah blushed at the
comment.

"Maniwala ka, boss. Kaya nya pareho."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Aiah was quite flustered at the sudden pour of compliments after compliments from the two.

"Thank you for your kind words, Ms. Luna."

It didn't take long for Aiah to land a job. After that interview, the contract is already being
given to her. Just right on time before she needed to answer back to her uni.

"Okay, so the model actually came from Bohol pero nagtatagalog naman s'ya. Well, pareho
naman kayong Bisdak so bahala na kayo kung paano kayo mag-uusap." Stacey was trusted
by her boss to do the briefing to Aiah. For her first assignment, she'll mainly be focusing on
one model.

"Oh, did she grow up sa Bohol?"

"Kinda. I heard medyo complicated story nya so she doesn't really bother sharing anything
personal. I guess ingat ka nalang sa part na yun. Medyo mukha s’yang mataray pero mabait
naman daw."
"Okay, noted. What's her name again?"

"She goes by Colet Vergara."

---

Monday came by quickly and Aiah is on her way to the studio, cameras in tow. It's her first
day at work and it'll be the first time she'll meet with the model. Thankfully, Stacey won't
start work until much later, right after Aiah’s shift.

She entered the building and was greeted by the receptionist, instructing her to head over to
Ms. Luna's office.

She knocked twice before hearing a soft "come in" from the inside.

"There you are!" Ms. Luna greeted. Aiah noticed an unfamiliar woman sitting in front of her,
with her back facing Aiah.

"Good morning, everyone."

"Take a seat first. I'm gonna introduce to you your model."

The woman stood up and faced Aiah with her sharp eyes.

"Colet Vergara nga pala. Looking forward to working with you, Ms. Aiah."
It didn't take long before they started their first photoshoot. It's been a while since Aiah did
an actual photo shoot herself. Thank goodness her boss is understanding. But that doesn't
mean she lacks the skills. She's still doing great for someone who hasn't done this for a while.

Thankfully, Colet is a natural. Ms. Luna was happy about hiring another female
photographer. The last time they did it with a male photographer, discomfort can be seen on
her face. Ms. Luna didn't take it against the model. She did observe that it must be a
psychological thing for Colet to act like that unconsciously.

"Fantastic! That was a nice session, Colet, Aiah. Well done."

Both girls bowed to their boss before she left momentarily.

"Colet, wanna take a look at your photos?"

"Sure."

The two settled in front of the iMac.

"You're a natural model, Colet. Thanks to you, hindi na ako nahirapan mag-adjust."

"Oh, iba pa ba work mo dati?"

"I was a professor sa London, I was actually a freelance photographer before London but
never in fashion and magazine. So it's kinda new to me."
"Wow. ‘Di ko nahalata yun ah. Mukhang natural lang talaga sa’yo."

"Glad to know, or else, baka itakwil na ako ng friend ko pag pinahiya ko s'ya. She's also a
photographer here."

"Friend mo… si Ms. Stacey?"

Aiah looked at her by surprise. "You know her?"

Colet smiled sheepishly. "Ay, hindi naman gaano. Pinakilala lang s'ya ni Ms. Luna nung first
photoshoot ko dito. Parang kayo lang yung kilala kong babaeng photographers as of now
dito."

Aiah looked around and noticed that the other staff were out of earshot from their position.

"If you don't mind me asking," she carefully started, "you're not comfortable with male
photographers?"

Colet somewhat has a troubled look on her face, which makes Aiah feel guilty.

"I'm sorry for asking if it's making you—"

"No, okay lang. Hindi lang ako sanay na may concerned. Wala naman kasi nagtatanong
sa’kin. Usually, inaassume lang nilang may attitude ako."

Aiah suddenly felt bad for the girl. She nodded for her to continue.

"Sa totoo lang? Hindi ko maalala."

"Huh?"

"Basta ano, pag lalake yung photographer ko, parang may takot sa loob ko or something,
unsettling feeling ba. Hindi ko rin talaga alam bakit. Sabi ng psychologist ko, posibleng
trauma from the past daw. Pero hindi ko rin sure, wala na ako maalala."

Aiah felt that she might be digging too much so she stopped inquiring, seeing the troubled
look on the younger's face.

She placed a hand on Colet’s shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'll take your pictures from now on. No need to be scared."

---

It's been a week since Aiah started her job at Luxuria Agency. So far, she's enjoying it.
People are nice and fun, especially their boss.

Colet has been a fun company. Whenever they're on break, or even after a shoot, they would
hang out briefly at a nearby cafe. Colet seems to still be in the adjustment period and she's
kind enough to help the girl out.

"Mukhang matagal ka na dito sa Manila ah. Parang sanay na sanay kang mag
Tagalog" They are conversing in Bisaya, a language Colet seems to be most comfortable.

"Nagtatagalog din kasi si Mamang sa bahay kaya nasanay na rin ako. Pero hindi ko
tanda kung tumira na ba ako dito dati."
"Dito? Sa Manila?"

“Actually, karamihan sa nakaraan ko, sobrang labo. Wala na halos ako maalala talaga.
Basta ang sure lang ako, galing akong Bohol before matanggap dito.”

No wonder she doesn't share much about her personal life. Even she can't remember much,
Aiah thought.

"Napapaisip ka ba minsan kung bakit ganun?"

"Syempre, hindi naman maiiwasang mapaisip talaga minsan. Pero sa situation ko

ngayon, hindi ko nalang s'ya masyadong iniisip pa. I mean, okay naman na buhay ko
ngayon eh. For sure naman, may rason bakit wala akong maalala."

Aiah nodded in agreement.

Both are seated in a café nearby. They just finished their shoot for the day.

Aiah took out her spare camera and began to play with it. She took a candid shot of Colet
from her seat which had the younger embarrassed.

"Gaano ka na katagal na photographer?"

"Siguro mga ten years na?" This had Colet's eyes widened.

"Ilang taon ka na?"

"Thirty-one."

If it's even possible, Colet's eyes widen even more. "Sigurado ka? Hindi mo ako ineechos?
Paano ka naging trenta'y uno? Kala ko talaga nasa mga bente singko ka palang,
ganun."

"Wow, I'm flattered naman. Thank you." Aiah just giggled. She's used to people
mistaking her age. It's a compliment, to be honest.

"Pwede pala makita yung tinake mong photo?"

"Sure."

Aiah handed her the camera, a different one from what she used in the studio. She always
keeps a spare one just in case.

Colet fiddled with the camera, somewhat familiar with how it works. She went to the gallery
and saw her photo.

"Ganda ko naman dito. Alam mo talaga angle ko." Colet said, much to Aiah’s delight.

"Well, I should know syempre if ako na magiging photographer mo."

While the model fiddled with the camera, she accidentally turned the dial, navigating to the
previous photo.

Colet froze for a bit, finding the photo in front of her, or rather, the subject, somehow
familiar.
 Aiah noticed her knitted eyebrows and went to check on her.

"Something wrong?" she asked. Colet is still looking at the camera screen so she looked at it,
too. It's a candid photo of Jhoanna when she was testing out the camera back at the hospital.

"Wala naman. Ano lang… Parang familiar lang s'ya sakin. Pero sure naman akong never ko
pa s'ya nakita."

"She's a doctor. Baka you bumped into her pag napunta kang therapies mo."

"Hmm siguro nga. Pansinin lang din siguro mukha nya kaya naalala ko." Colet just shrugged
her shoulders, dismissing the crippling feeling inside her stomach.

##

Chapter End Notes

Hello model Colet hehe (hindi s'ya masyadong anger dito [dati lang])
 Haunted by the Past
Chapter Summary

Aiah's new venture; Jhoanna's relapse;

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

HAUNTED BY THE PAST

It's a free weekend for Aiah, with only photo-retouching as her task for the day. Her boss was
kind enough to let her work from the hospital, given that Stacey has a scheduled shoot for the
whole day.

“I apologize if I decided to stay in the Philippines for this semester.” She’s on the phone with
the school admin.

“It’s alright. Thank you for informing us beforehand. It’ll be hard to look for a temporary
professor but you have your priorities there. But we hope to have you back by next semester if
that’s possible.” She was actually touched that the school still wanted her even though she
took an abrupt leave. She is well-loved by students and faculty alike.

“I sincerely hope so, too, Mr. Beckham. Thank you once again.”

She went back to her laptop after the call. It’s good that the university didn’t take her actions
negatively. She was actually scared when they gave her a deadline before.

A few minutes later, a knock came on the door and Jhoanna entered.
“Hello, Ms. Arceta. Weekend duties ulit?”

“Yeah. Staku’s fully booked for the following weekend so ako lang ulit. But I’m actually
working now.”

“Ay, oo nga pala. Kamusta bagong work mo?”

“It’s fun. People are nice. Kahit yung model na assigned sakin, she’s nice. We actually hang
out after shoots so comfortable na kami sa isa’t-isa.”

Jhoanna looked at her clipboard, then at her patient, before answering back. “That’s nice. At
least, hindi ka na mahihirapan mag adjust.”

“Yeah. Buti nalang, my boss allows work from home pag ganito. I only have to do some
editing.”

After several checks, Jhoanna removed her spectacles and faced Aiah again.

“Upon checking, wala naman masyadong changes sa condition ni Ms. Lim. We still have to
monitor her since papago-bago vital signs nya. We’re also doing another scan of her brain to
plan on the next action.”

“Alright, Doc Robles. Thank you very much.”

“See you around, Ms. Arceta.”

As she was passing by, she had a glimpse of Aiah’s laptop screen, which made her freeze on
the spot.
“Doc Robles? Okay ka lang?”

Instead of a verbal answer, she walked closer to where Aiah is, eyes glued on the laptop
screen, where Lightroom is opened.

“Bakit parang namutla ka bigla, Doc?” Aiah observed the doctor from her seat. Indeed,
Jhoanna’s unusually pale all of a sudden.

“S'ya–”

She wasn’t able to form a proper word, but instead, pointed a finger at the photo Aiah had
been editing for the last minute.

“Her? She’s the model na assigned sa’kin who just came from Bohol. You know her?”

“Pero… imposible…” Jhoanna still has this horror-stricken look on her face, not breaking
eye contact with the screen.

“Huh? Anong ibig mong sabihin, Doc?”

“Yang babaeng yan… patay na dapat s'ya...”

This made Aiah even more confused. “Doc Robles, she’s alive and kicking. I just took these
yesterday. Anong nangyayari sa’yo?”

Jhoanna suddenly held onto the nearby wall, hand over her mouth. She can’t believe what
she’s seeing. She couldn’t be wrong with those plump lips, and those sharp eyes she
memorized so well for years. She can’t be wrong that it’s definitely her. But it’s not possible.
“Are you okay, Doc Robles?” Aiah stood up and approached the struggling doctor. She was
about to reach for her arm when the doctor suddenly looked away.

“I… I gotta go,” and with that, Aiah was left with her arm hanging mid-air, still confused
about the sudden disappearance of Jhoanna.

---

It took her less than two minutes to reach the hospital rooftop. She’s breathing hard not from
running, but from what she saw earlier.

Paano? Patay ka na dapat. She asked inside her thoughts.

I cried tears for you, day and night. For months. How come you’re here?

It’s easy to mistake a person for someone else but she’s confident by what she saw. It’s
definitely her.

“You’re supposed to be dead. Bakit andito ka, Nicole?”

---
Back in the hospital room, Aiah was actually stunned at Jhoanna’s actions. The doctor looks
so scared, confused, and actually horrified upon seeing Colet’s photo.

“Anong meron sa kanila? The last time Colet saw doc’s photo, sabi nya she found her
familiar.”

She stopped whatever she was doing and decided to call her friend.

“Hello, ate?”

“Staku, may alam kang anything about kay Colet?” she asked straightforwardly.

“Well, bukod sa galing s'yang Bohol, nothing much. Mas madalas kayong magkasama diba.”

“Well, I guess you’re right on that…”

“Bakit? Anong meron?”

Aiah thought twice if she should tell Stacey but maybe the younger can help her. “Well,
remember when I told you I’m working remotely right now?”

“Yeah.”

“So, nakita ni doc Robles yung photo ni Colet and she just… she acted so weird and bigla
nalang umalis before I could even ask.”

“Weird? What weird?”

“Tinuro nya photo ni Colet and she keeps saying na patay na dapat s'ya. Her face was so pale
it’s like she actually saw a ghost. Then, nung nakita naman ni Colet photo ni doc, sabi nya,
familiar daw.”

“Oh, that is weird. May kutob ako, pero don’t mention it muna kay Colet. Mahirap na.”

“Okay, Staks. Thanks for the tip.”

“Tsaka ‘wag mo na rin siguro itanong kay doc. Baka mamaya, sensitive topic pala s'ya.
Magsasabi naman yun for sure pagdating ng time.”

“Whatever it is, I think there’s some sort of connection between those two but I can’t point
out.”

“Basta yun, ate Aiah. Pakiramdaman mo muna if ganun parin si doc.”

“Yeah. Sorry to bother you again, Staks.”

“Keri lang, ate. I’m on a break now. See you bukas.”

After the call, she looked back at her laptop, still figuring out what the connection was
between those two.

But Stacey is right. She’s in no place to dig in. They might be a part of a forgotten past, she’ll
never know.

---
The silence of the room was ruined by the grumbling of her stomach. She glanced at her
watch and noticed that it was already ten in the evening. She hasn't had dinner yet.

As she kept her laptop in her bag, a knock was heard and the door slid open, revealing a
haggard doctor with a paper bag at hand.

“Good eve, Ms. Arceta. Hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

Aiah just looked at her, kind of surprised at the calm doctor in front of her. Too calm for her
liking.

As she decided earlier, she didn’t bring up whatever happened earlier and acted as if it never
happened.

“It’s okay, doc. Wala naman ako ginagawa.”

“Good. Kumain ka na? I brought food para sa’tin.”

Aiah blushed slightly at the thought. “You don’t really have to, Doc. But I really appreciate
it.”

“Nonsense. Maiinis ako sa sarili ko pag nagkasakit ka.”

Jhoanna sat beside her on the couch lousily, preparing the takeout boxes on the table. One
thing Aiah noticed was the red tinge on the doctor’s cheeks. That, and the slight smell that
had just hit her nose when Jhoanna came a little bit closer to her. She wasn’t also wearing her
white coat.
Is this… whiskey? She thought to herself.

She was about to ask but then remembered that it might have something to do with Colet.

“Tara, kain! It’s better habang mainit pa.”

She observed the doctor carefully, noting that she was unusually loud compared to her normal
state. She also had a whiff of her breath and confirmed the smell, not to mention the way she
slurred her words while speaking. She definitely drank earlier.

“Duty ka pa, doc?” Aiah asked out of concern. It’s unethical to drink while on shift. She’s
afraid that the doctor might get in trouble for it.

“Nope. Kanina pa ko seven out. I just… wanna check up on you.” Jhoanna admitted shyly.
She has her eyes focused on the food in front of her, obviously avoiding Aiah’s eyes.

“Ohh…”

She doesn’t know how to answer that. It must be the alcohol that’s doing the honest talk but if
it’s honest talk, then that must be what Jhoanna’s honestly thinking.

“I… missed you, actually. Parang tagal na nung nagkakwentuhan tayo. I kinda missed it.”
More honest confessions came out from the doctor that Aiah wasn’t prepared for.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been busy for the past couple of days.” Aiah decided to play along with the
doctor.

“Well, at least I get to see you every weekend. Mas prefer kong sabay tayo kumain kahit pa
dito lang tayo sa hospital room kesa sa five star resto nga pero nag-iisa naman ako.”
“Okay, Doc Rob– “

“Just call me by my name. Off-duty na ako. Parang ang distant ng Doc Robles. Ayoko ng
ganun.”

Aiah’s sure, Jhoanna is definitely drunk. It’s amazing how she’s able to walk here without
being a hazard to other people, or without being questioned.

“Okay, Jhoanna. Let’s clean these up first, shall we?”

After the two, or more like Aiah alone, cleaned up the takeout boxes, she pulled Jhoanna to
stand, who did so but not without wobbling a bit.

“Saan tayo?”

“We’re gonna get your things and I’m gonna bring you home.”

“Pero–” Jhoanna stopped midway after Aiah glared at her.

“Now, let’s go.”

---
They settled themselves in Jhoanna’s truck, with Aiah in the driver’s seat.

“I’m not sure if leaving Mikha alone for a few minutes will be alright but I need to get this
woman home right now,” Aiah said, not actually meaning for it to be said out loud.

“She’ll be alright. Stable naman na stats nya bago tayo umalis. Besides, nakiusap na’ko kay
Doc Jea na icheck s'ya habang wala ka.”

“Wha– inutusan mo pa talaga yung isang doktor. It’ll be fine not to do that, you know.”

“Better safe than sorry, honey.”

Aiah immediately looked away at the word “honey.” Dealing with a drunk Jhoanna is
definitely not in her 2024 bingo card.

She looked at the doctor, now leaning back comfortably on her seat, head leaned back with
eyes closed.

“Okay, let’s go.”

The drive was quiet. Aiah wasn’t driving fast since it’s her first time to drive a truck and she
didn’t want to kill either of them.

“Where do you live?” she asked but was answered with silence.
She looked to her side and saw a snoring Jhoanna seated awkwardly.

“Shet naman…”

Having no choice, she decided to bring her to her own home. No one lives there anyway
aside from herself.

“Jhoanna?” she nudged her but the doctor only snored back.

“Oh my god, is this really happening?”

She rolled her eyes before going down the driver’s seat, opening the passenger’s seat to fetch
Jhoanna. She carefully removed her seatbelt and pulled her out of her seat. She almost
dropped her to the ground due to the height of the truck.

“Fuck, Jhoanna, how much did you actually drink?” but was answered again by her soft
snoring.

Arms around her neck and with her arms supporting the doctor’s waist, she carefully
maneuvered towards her apartment, opening it with great difficulty.

She just noticed how strong the alcohol smell is now that she’s in really close contact with
the doctor.

She looked at her couch and noticed the clutter of things she was cleaning from the day
before. She mentally kicked herself.
“Damn it. Why is my bedroom on the second floor again?”

---

After much difficulty, she managed to pull Jhoanna to her bedroom, literally throwing her to
her bed.

“Gosh, mukha ka lang magaan.”

She grabbed a spare shirt from her wardrobe and without a second thought, unbuttoned the
doctor's button-up shirt.

Aiah had to pause for a bit admiring Jhoanna's physique.

"Get a grip, Aiah. This woman is drunk and you need to get back to the hospital."

It took Aiah some effort to actually change Jhoanna’s shirt and pants, with the latter totally
uncooperative.

After several attempts, she managed to change Jhoanna's clothes, of course with a little bit of
self constraint. It wasn't the first time she saw the whole of Jhoanna, anyway.

She blushed at the thought.

"Maraiah, hospital. Mikha. Now."

With one last glance, she left her room to fix some food for the drunk woman. She will surely
need it when she wakes up tomorrow.

---

The doctor woke up with a terrible headache in an unfamiliar room.

"Shet, nasan ako?" she looked around and noticed a bottle of water, some hangover meds,
and a pink sticky note sitting right next to her phone.

[Take the meds if you feel like shit. There's food in the fridge. Might not be as great as
your cooking but you'll survive.]

“Huh?”

She looked around and noticed the dominance of light pink, hinting that the room belonged to
no other than Aiah. That, and that familiar scent lingering in her nose confirmed so.

She then looked at herself, finally noticing that she was in a light blue pajama, something that
she was sure wasn’t hers.

Looking at the digital clock beside her, her eyes widened upon seeing that she was already
late for her shift. Her hangover isn’t really helping either.
After drinking the meds prepared for her, she grabbed her phone and dialed her fellow doctor.

“Hello? Doc Robles?”

“Shet, Doc Jea. Sorry malelate ako sa shift ko.”

“Actually, dumaan si Ms. Arceta kanina. She mentioned na baka ma-late ka nga. After all,
you asked me a favor last night. Okay ka na ngayon?”

“A mild hangover but nothing serious. Andyan pa ba s'ya?”

“Hindi ko pa naman s'ya nakikitang umalis. Hindi ko rin napansin si Ms. Sevilleja so baka
andito pa s'ya.”

“Alright. Thanks, Doc Jea!”

“Doc Robles sanda–”

She immediately took a shower, noticing a hanged long-sleeved shirt by the door.

[You can borrow this. I’ve put your clothes in the wash bin. Pants and new underwear
are folded on top of the dresser.]

She took the note and shirt after showering and hastily fixed herself up. Thankfully, they have
the same dimensions so Aiah’s clothes fit her well.
She went down towards the kitchen, seeing several sticky notes along the way.

She picked one up from the fridge’s door.

[Grab the tupperware with a purple cover and heat it in the microwave. I made that for
you. Sorry if it’s kinda sloppy.]

True enough, she saw the said tupperware and followed her instructions.

On the microwave is another note.

[There’s tea and hot chocolate in the drawer. If you like some coffee, I always keep a
pack there in case of visitors and friends even though I don’t really drink one.]

“Guess I needed some coffee right now.”

She searched for the drawer and found the said coffee pack, again with a sticky note.

[I knew you’d get coffee. May water heater katabi ng dish rack.]
She looked for the dish rack, locating a water heater beside it, and a blue mug sitting right
next to it, also with a sticky note.

[Just use this mug. I rarely use this and I’m not sure if you’re delicate with personal
things like this.]

The more notes she reads, the wider the smile appears in her mouth.

“Wow, parang nanay ko lang ah,” she giggled at the thought.

Once settled at the table with the heated food and coffee at hand, she then saw another sticky
note on top of the table.

[Just leave the dishes after eating. I’ll take care of that. You might want to move fast. I
figured you’d be late.

P.S. There's a toothbrush beside the sink. It’s new.]

Upon reading the note, it hit her that indeed, she was late.

She ate the food quickly before brushing her teeth. She looked at the door and found her
shoes sitting neatly by the shoe rack.

Before going out, she noticed another note sticky by the door.
 [I left your truck sa harap. The keys are hanging by the doorknob.]

After grabbing her keys and making sure that she left everything organized, she went straight
towards her truck, but of course, there was another sticky note stuck on the driver’s door.

[I don’t know what happened last night but please don’t do that again. Or else I’ll sell
your truck off, or scratch it with your keys.

Drive safe! You’re definitely late.]

“This girl,” was the only thing she said with a smile on her face.

---

A few moments later, a haggard doctor can be seen running towards the entrance of the
hospital.

"Uy, Doc Jho. Mukha kang stressed, not to mention, late," another doctor greeted her upon
entering the building.
"Good morning, Doc Jane. It's been a while. Kamusta dad mo pala?"

"He's doing great. Thankful lang talaga ako kay Doc Jea for covering for some of my
patients. Nakita mo ba s'ya?"

The question reminded her of the favor she owes the said doctor. She suddenly hit her again
why she was in this predicament.

"Actually, hinahanap ko rin s'ya. Sabihan ko s'ya na you’re looking for her. May need lang
ako asikasuhin."

"Oh, sure, Doc Jho. Thanks for the help!"

"No problem, Doc Jane. See you around!"

As she was rushing towards her office, she bumped into the doctor she'd been looking for.

"Doc Jho!" Jea greeted her with her usual cheerfulness.

"Good morning, Doc Jea. I seriously need to thank you for last night."

Jea laughs a little, "Oks lang yun, Doc Jho. Buti nalang andito pa ako nun. Nakabalik din
naman agad si Ms. Arceta after nun."

“Right… dami nyang iniwang sticky notes kaninang umaga. Need ko rin siguro bumawi. Na-
stress ata s'ya sakin kagabi.”
Jea gave a soft pat on Jhoanna’s shoulder. “That, you should. But mind explaining what
happened? ‘Wag ka mag-alala. Hindi kita irereport if yan kinakatakot mo. I’m just concerned.
Never ka naman umiinom randomly, except pag inaaya ka namin nina Shar.”

Jhoanna looked sideways, not sure how to explain it to Jea herself. The doctor has a rough
idea of her past but she doesn’t know how to explain something she’s confused herself.

With her prolonged silence, Jea just patted her head and let out a soft laugh. “‘Wag kang ma-
pressure. We’ll talk some other time. Puntahan mo nalang muna si Ms. Arceta pero tulog pa
ata s'ya ngayon.”

“Alright. Thanks, Doc Jea,” she was about to leave when she remembered Jane, “Hinahanap
ka nga pala ni Doc Jane,” the mention of the said doctor somehow brought a pink tint to Jea’s
pale face.

“Oh... thank you, Doc Robles.”

Soon after, Jhoanna arrived at Mikha’s room, with a sleeping Aiah cramped in the sofa.

“Sasakit likod mo nyan,” she said softly while observing the sleeping girl.

Seems like Aiah fell asleep in the middle of work since her laptop was still open.

Jhoanna stepped out for a bit before dialing someone from her phone.

“Jho? What’s up?”

“Alam kong busy ka. Pero pwede ba ako magpadeliver ng food? Lista mo nalang sakin. May
mga pinagkakautangan ako dito eh.”

“Oh, sure. Para kanino pala?”

“Alam mo naman na siguro usual namin ni Doc Jea. Tapos isa sa mga specialty menu mo
except chicken.”

She heard a soft chuckle on the other side of the phone. “Hmm, lemme guess. Para ba yan
dun sa friend mong dinala dito last time? Kay Aiah?” Jhoanna can hear the playfulness in the
‘friend’ part.

“Uhh, yeah. Laking abala ko sa kanya kagabi so malaki utang na loob ko sa kanya. So,
pwede ba pa-deliver? Around early lunch time. I doubt kung nag almusal na s'ya. Tulog na
tulog pa s'ya ngayon eh.”

“Awww, look at you, an overly concerned friend. ‘Never ka naman naging ganyan sakin
dati.”

Jhoanna had to roll her eyes, “Kilabutan ka please.”

“‘To naman, jinojoke lang eh ahaha. Pero will have the food delivered mga around 11. ‘Wag
mo na isipin babayaran mo, ako na bahala. Basta make sure babalik yang si ate ganda dito
sa resto.”

“Okay, easy done deal. Thank you, ate Gwen!”

Once the call was done, she returned to the room and walked over to her patient with the
patient’s chart in her hands.
 “Hmmm, let me see.”

She breathes in deeply as she checks each number and figure. Things aren’t looking any
better. She can only shake her head and pinch the bridge of her nose. The latest scans of her
brain will be released that afternoon.

She looked at the sleeping figure, feeling bad about the predicament she was in. It’s hard for
her to be the one who always delivers bad news about her ex-lover.

Right. Mikha was Aiah’s lover once. She had to remind herself every day.

And it seems like her ex-lover’s slowly slipping out of their hands.

That, she has to tell Aiah sooner or later.

##

Chapter End Notes

No notes, just missing our walo :<

(btw guys gentle reminder lang to ship responsibly like, happy happy lang tayo dito
hehe
 Escaping Reality
Chapter Summary

Mikha's due for a risky surgery; Aiah found it hard to accept the low success rate

Chapter Notes

(some medical terms ahead >>> )

ESCAPING REALITY

It’s a busy afternoon for Jhoanna as they are scheduled to have a meeting regarding her
patient’s situation after the scans are released. Together with her inside the conference room
are Doc Mario Mallari, Doc Jea Salvador, Professor Anna Cruz, and Doc Caesar Torres.

“I see that her brain has worsened over time,” Doc Mallari mentioned as she observed the
latest brain scans of Mikha.

“If I’m not mistaken, this part right here, nagka severe blood clotting sya?” Professor Cruz
asked as she pointed toward the brain scans.

“Yes po, Doc Cruz. If compared to the last scan, wala pang blood clotting last scan, which is
really worrisome. The best procedure is to perform a surgical neuro thrombectomy, pero sa
situation ni Ms. Lim, it will be a very risky move.”
“May alternatives pa ba tayo?” Jhoanna asked. She’s well aware of the risk of the surgery. It’s
not easy opening up someone’s brain, removing a cloth, and then covering it up again.

“Sadly, this is the only way to go with her situation since it’s progressing fast. It will be a
really tedious process since we have to consider a lot of factors given the damage her brain
has received from the accident. There’s a high risk of infection where she damaged her skull.
Chinecheck din namin yung stem cell transplant to repair her nerve damage. If successful,
this could actually change her situation drastically. New procedure pa sya but we’ll be doing
our best,” the professor instead answered.

Jhoanna observed the scans in front of her again. She knows they have to act fast for any
chance of survival, or else, it’ll be all too late.

“How soon before it’s too late?” she asked, still dreading to hear the answer.

“To be honest, anytime later than a week from now, we might lose her,” Doc Mallari
answered solemnly. Everyone in the room remained silent for a second.

Jhoanna’s breath hitched. “Okay. When is the soonest na pwede natin gawin yung surgery?

“Considering all the preparations, the earliest we can do it is a day or two from now. Pero for
the stem cell, need pa natin mag hanap ng match before we can proceed. We also need this
procedure done immediately.”

Jhoanna can only sigh. This will be a lot to explain to Aiah later. Hopefully, Stacey will be
there.

“Alright. I’ll inform her guardians right away.”

She was about to stand when she remembered something.

“Matanong ko lang. How much do you think is the success rate nung surgery?” With that
question, Doc Mallari looked away slightly, dreading silence looming all over the room.

“To be honest, Doc Robles, probably 30-40% success rate, also hugely dependent kay Ms.
Lim. That’s the best we can expect. But if anything, our team will do the procedure so pwede
mo kaming pagkatiwalaan,” Professor Cruz pointed at Doc Mallari and Doc Torres.

Jhoanna gritted her teeth. That’s a low chance of success for a brain operation. There’s an
even greater chance of failure at this rate.

“I trust your words, Doc Cruz.” was all Jhoanna was able to say before leaving the meeting
room, still with her hands tightly clenched.

---

It was around noon when Aiah heard a knock at the door. Jhoanna entered the room, doing
her best to keep her emotions intact.

“Doc! Inaantay kita. May dalang food si Gwen kanina. She said it’s on the house. Sorry,
nauna na akong kumain. I haven’t really eaten anything since this morning.”

She glanced at the paper bag and indeed, it was the food she ordered earlier. She’s just quite
surprised that Gwen herself delivered it.

“Okay lang, Ms. Arceta. Sinabi ko talagang agahan ang deliver para may food ka pag gising
mo. Oks ba yung food?” she gave her a gentle smile.

“It’s great as usual. I actually miss the food there. So imagine my surprise nung dumating
bigla si Gwen. I was about to pay for it but she refused.”
“‘Di mo na need magbayad. Libre na yun. Bayad ko na rin sa abala ko sa’yo kagabi. I’m
really sorry about that.”

“Hey, it’s alright. We do have some bad times so ‘wag mo na masyadong isipin pa.”

Jhoanna just smiled, not even reaching her eyes. She just stood on her spot, looking at Aiah
and then at Mikha. She clutched the patient’s chart harder to control her breathing.

“By any chance, mga what time darating si Ms. Sevilleja?”

Aiah raised a brow at the question but answered it anyway. “Most probably, after ng shift pa
nya so mga around 6pm siguro.”

“Oh, okay. Sige.”

“May problema ba?”

Jhoanna managed to fake a smile, “Intayin ko nalang sya para pareho kayong andito. Okay
lang ba?”

Aiah’s expression dropped, sensing something from Jhoanna’s sentence.

“O… okay, Doc Robles. Come by at 6 pm. She should be here by then.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Jhoanna was about to leave when Aiah called her.

“Aren’t you eating?” she asked.

Jhoanna almost forgot the food she ordered. Seems like Jea got hers already since only the
box with her name on it remains in the paper bag.

“Ay, muntik ko na makalimutan,” she grabbed the bag instead and headed for the door.

“Thanks again, Ms. Arceta. At pasensya ulit sa abala.”

Aiah can only nod. She was actually expecting Jhoanna to eat with her. But the doctor’s
actions are confusing her.

She knows there is definitely something wrong, and she’s actually afraid.

---

Afternoon came by fast and Stacey had just arrived at the hospital a little later than 6 pm. Her
eyes are heavier than normal and her hair is a bit disheveled. Aiah looked at her worriedly.

"Hi, ate Aiah," Stacey greeted with a less-than-enthusiastic energy.

"Anong nangyari sa’yo?" Aiah inquired. It's not everyday you see Stacey deflated.

"Daming nangyayari sa work. Yung isang client namin, inadjust ng one week ahead yung
deadline so nirush namin lahat kanina. Ako yung project lead so ako halos nag-asikaso lahat.
Thank goodness naayos naman."

"Ouch, that's rough." Aiah had heard about it while she was at the office earlier that week.
She just didn't expect that it'll be Stacey's team.

"Right. Doc Robles said she wanted to talk to us. She'll probably be here anytime now," Aiah
mentioned. The looming feeling returned to her suddenly.

"Bakit daw pala?"

"Wala sya sinabi actually. She prefers na magkasama tayo before she discusses whatever it is.
I'm actually scared, Staks."

The younger can only sigh, "Sa situation natin ngayon, sinong makakampante?"

Just as expected, a knock came on the door shortly, indicating the arrival of the mentioned
doctor.

"’Di naman ako nakakaabala?" Jhoanna asked as she entered.

"It's fine. We're actually expecting you, Doc. Kakarating lang ni Staks."

"Okay…" Jhoanna walked towards Mikha first, checking her stats.

"Sa totoo lang, sobrang hirap nito para sakin," she started. Aiah braced herself for what could
be the worst news she will receive to date.

"Kanina, nag meeting kami ng iba pang doctors about sa situation ni Ms. Lim. Nakita namin
na nagkaroon sya ng excessive blood clotting sa certain part ng utak nya, which we have to
address immediately. We’re also looking into doing a specialized stem cell transplant
procedure para ma-repair yung mga nerve damage,” Jhoanna trailed off at the end, observing
how the two guardians were absorbing the news.

“So, it is getting worse, isn’t it?” Aiah asked, her face unreadable.

“Uhh...” the doctor is lost for words. She knows any words of encouragement at this point are
pointless.

“I see…"

“Ayun...” were the only words Jhoanna could say.

“I assume na may operation na kailangan para ma-remove yung blood clotting?” Stacey
asked.

“Yes. That’s actually what I wanted to talk about. Kailangan ko ng consent nyo para makapag
proceed.”

“When?”

“The soonest possible. If makuha namin go signal nyo ngayon, kaya syang maoperahan in a
day or two, depende sa condition ni Ms. Lim. Pero I can’t guarantee na magiging smooth ang
lahat. Sobrang delikado pa rin ng condition nya so any operation is considered risky at this
point. We'll be performing a surgical neuro thrombectomy para maalis agad yung clotting.”

“What’ll happen if hindi agad magawa yung operation?” Aiah asked. Her voice is obviously
shaking.

Jhoanna looked away from Aiah’s face. They discussed this earlier at the meeting.
“Baka hindi na tayo umabot...”

Everyone went silent for a moment, with only the sound of the ECG monitor resonating
inside the room.

Aiah closed her eyes. She knows there’s no other path to take.

“How much risk are we talking about?”

Professor Cruz’s words echoed inside Jhoanna’s head. She can’t forget that figure.

“Around 30 to 40% success rate. It’s a bad figure, pero yan na yung best figures sa case natin
ngayon.”

Aiah felt oxygen had been knocked out of her system. It’s lower than 50%, meaning, there’s
more chance that they might lose Mikha at this rate.

“Shit…”

Aiah dips her head down, squeezing her eyes tightly, trying to prevent any tears from
escaping.

Jhoanna can only stand and stare. She’s actually feeling numb seeing the other girl in that
state. And worse, she’s the one delivering the bad news to her.

“Pwede ka bang makausap saglit, Doc Robles?” Stacey asked, motioning her head towards
the door.
“Of course.”

The two left the room quietly, leaving Aiah still with her head down.

They walked towards a nearby bench. Once seated, Stacey faced the doctor again, running
her hands over her hair due to stress.

“May iba pa bang paraan?” She asked exasperatingly. She has been keeping her emotions in
check in front of Aiah earlier.

“We tried looking for alternatives. Kinonsider na rin namin mga blood-thinning drugs, kaso it
might cause her excessive bleeding given na marami pa rin syang mga tahi at sugat. Matagal
din sya mag take effect. The fastest procedure talaga is to remove the clot surgically. It might
be riskier than the drug procedure pero kalaban natin ang oras. It’s the most suitable
procedure given all the factors.”

“I see…” Stacey answered but trouble could still be seen in her face. Jhoanna understands
fully. Who would feel complacent after hearing a 30% to 40% chance of success, anyway?

“If it helps, team ni Doc Cruz at Doc Mallari ang gagawa ng operation. Isa sila sa pinaka
magagaling na neuro dito sa Pinas.”

Even without a word, Jhoanna knows it somehow gave Stacey some hope. The tension on her
face eases a bit.

"Pag naging successful, isusunod na agad natin ang stem cell transplant para sa mga nerve
damage nya once makahanap tayo ng donor"

“Okay lang ba kung ako lang pipirma ng consent form? Alam ko namang papayag din si ate
Aiah pero sa mga oras na ito, mahirap pa syang kausapin.”
Jhoanna nodded. She applauded Stacey for being the stronger emotional pillar between the
two despite being younger. She knows it’s hard for both of them.

“Alright. Ipadala ko sa’yo yung form pag okay na”

“Okay. Thank you, Doc Robles.”

The two parted ways, with Stacey heading back to the room.

“Ate Aiah–” she called once she opened the door but stopped midway after finding the room
empty except for Mikha.

“Ate?” she looked around but still did not find the person she’d been calling.

She just then realized that Aiah had left when she noticed her things were gone.

---

She’s sitting inside her car with hazard lights on, still distraught about the situation. She
doesn’t want to face anyone yet. She’s mad. She’s upset. With who? She doesn’t know.

She knows that Jhoanna’s just doing her job as a doctor and it’s not her decision solely on
what to do. But hearing it from her stings her heart.
She's parked on a curbside somewhere in an unfamiliar town, a road she's not familiar with.
She just drove aimlessly to clear her head, with no destination in mind.

As much as she wanted alcohol in her system, she knows it’s best to stay away from it for
now given that it’s the very reason why Mikha’s in this situation. It’s the least she could do
for Stacey now, who’s probably worried at her sudden disappearance.

Flicking the ashes from her cigarette, she blows out all the remaining smoke inside her lungs,
exhaling a deep sigh in the process.

“Why did it come to this? I thought you were fighting. Gusto mo na bang sumuko na?” She
asked no one in particular but she sure did hope that it reaches the person she wanted to ask
the most.

She reached for her phone, ignoring the several missed calls she received. She instead looked
for a certain number. She let out a sigh of relief once the other person answered immediately.

“Hello? Ate Aiah?”

“Hey, you doing something?”

“Wala naman ako ganap tonight. May need ka ba?”

“Can we meet? I just need to escape for a moment.”

“Sure. San ka? Kasama mo si ate Staku?”

Aiah laughed a bit. She realized how stupid she was.

“She’s at the hospital. As for me, I don't really know where I am.”

“Ha?! Wait, mag share loc ka. Puntahan kita. ‘Wag kang aalis dyan!”

“Okay. I’ll stay here.”

“Good. Dyan ka lang. Mabilis lang ako.”

After the call, she did as she was told, sending her current location to the person she was
talking to earlier. She then realized that she reached somewhere deep in Alabang, barely an
hour away from the hospital. It’s been so long since she drove around so she’s not really
familiar with the place.

A good twenty minutes passed by when her phone rang again.

“Hello?”

“Andito na ako sa area. Saan ka exactly?”

She looked around, noting her surroundings. “There’s open water sa right side ko, with
railings na may letter JRF. Seems like an empty park naman sa left side ko.”

“Oks. Alam ko na kung saan yan. Dyan ka lang! Intayin mo ako.”

True enough, after a few minutes, she heard a knock on her window. She immediately opened
the door, only to be flicked by the other person in the forehead.

“Anong ginagawa mo na naman, ate? Boang ka na ba?” was the first sentence she said upon
seeing her cousin's friend.
“I… I don’t even know myself,” Aiah answered honestly.

“Tabi ka nga. Ako na mag drive.” Aiah did as she was told. She’s also well aware that it
might be disastrous if she drives in her current state, sober or not.

As the younger started the engine, Aiah remained seated in the passenger’s seat, looking
outside the window blankly.

“Thanks for coming, Shee,” she said softly, eyes still glued outside.

“Alam ba ni ate Staku na andito ka?” the younger asked.

“No. I left while she was talking to Doc Robles.”

Sheena sensed that it would be a solemn night for them, especially for her ate.

“Do you want to drink?”

---

They ended up in a small bar around Alabang. Not too dingy, not too rowdy. Just enough
chill atmosphere to clear up the mind.

“Just to be clear, basta ka nalang lumayas nang walang paramdam. Tas ngayon, hindi mo
sinasagot tawag ni ate Staku?” Sheena asked. Aiah’s already chugging her third bottle of
beer.

“I know. It’s such an awful thing to do. But I can’t face them yet. I should probably go and
apologize but tonight, gusto ko lang takasan ang lahat.”

Sheena can only sigh. As much as she loves her cousin, seeing Aiah in this state makes her
sympathize with her even if she doesn’t know what’s exactly happening.

Noting that Aiah’s busy with her drink, she secretly reached for her phone and typed a simple
message.

[Ate Staku, kalma ka na. Kasama ko si ate Aiah ngayon.] - Sheena

A reply came as soon as she sent the first message.

[OH MY GOD SOBRA AKONG NAG AALALA! Pakibantayan, please. Mabigat

pinagdadaanan nyan ngayon. Bukas ko nalang sya kausapin.] - Stacey

I wonder what happened, she thought.

Should she ask? Will her ate answer? What exactly happened for Aiah to be this lost?

“Ate?” she started.

“Hmm?”

“Anong nangyari?” she straightforwardly asked. She doesn’t intend to push Aiah to answer.
If she doesn’t want to explain, then so be it.

Instead of an immediate answer, Aiah straightened her back, bringing her bottle down on the
table.

“I’m so stupid for hoping, y’know?” was her first response. It was a vague answer but Sheena
didn’t interrupt.

“I know that it’ll come to this eventually. Pero to hear the actual thing? I realized I was just
convincing myself that I had accepted it.”

“Ate…” Sheena called softly. At this point, she doesn’t know what to say to comfort the
older.

She sent another message to her cousin, thinking that it would be easier for her if she knew
what was going on.

[Ate Staku. Pahingi namang context. Sobrang lost na rin ako dito kay ate Aiah.] -
Sheena

“I’m so so stupid for believing na magiging okay ang lahat. And now look at me, I look so
pathetic,” Aiah continued. Sheena’s still waiting for Stacey’s response. Other customers
looked in their direction after Aiah practically smashed her bottle onto the table. Sheena
apologized on her behalf.
It took a while for Stacey’s reply to come. The next thing Sheena knew, Aiah’s on her sixth
bottle.

[It’s about Mikha. Kailangan na sya operahan asap. Or else, she might not survive. But
surgery’s success rate is below 50%. Wala nang ibang alternatives.] - Stacey

“Oh my god…” she can’t hide her shock from Stacey’s reply. The last time she went there, it
wasn’t this serious.

She checked on her companion if she saw her, afraid that Aiah would catch her reaction. She
breathed a sigh of relief once she saw her busy playing with the sweat from her beer bottle.

“Shee, ang selfish ko ba if ayaw kong mawala sya?” At this point, she knows Aiah’s already
buzzed. She’s starting to drag her words.

“I know that she’s already suffering. Heck, she’s been suffering since I left her months ago
nung lumipad ako pa-London. And here I am wishing for everything to be back to normal,”
she continued, “Sobrang selfish ko, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve to live.”

Sheena slowly put her hand on Aiah’s shoulder, squeezing them in the process, “Ate, palagi
mo nalang sinisisi sarili mo. You have to stop that. Hindi naman kasalanan na kailangan natin
gawin ang mga bagay bagay para makasurvive tayo.”

“But I could’ve chosen to stay, lalo na after what happened to her.”

“Ate Aiah, kahit naman nung umalis ka, hindi mo naman sya pinabayaan nang ganun ganun
nalang eh. Kahit din naman kami ni ate Staku, binantayan din sya. Kahit hindi na kayo nag-
uusap ni ate Mikhs, kami naman ni ate Staku ginugulo mo para lang iupdate ka about dyan sa
baliw mong ex. Mahirap din sa part mo. Sobrang hirap. Kaya ‘wag mo iatang ang lahat sa
balikat mo. You had your fair share of struggles. Things just didn’t go as planned. Hindi
naman lahat ng bagay, makokontrol natin.”

“But–”

“Hindi rin natin alam kung anong mangyayari kung sakaling hindi ka umalis. Baka nga
mamaya, mas mapalala pa pala kung nag stay ka eh. Ubos na ubos ka na that time. Kailangan
mo rin isalba sarili mo. Sobrang wasak nyo na pareho. How do you expect to heal a broken
person kung ikaw mismo, sira na? Sa ngayon, eto yung problemang kinakaharap natin. Tapos
na ang dati. Hindi naman na natin mababalik yun. Kaya stop blaming yourself na.
Makakasira lang lalo ng morale mo yan. Please, masakit din sakin na makita kang ganyan,
ate Aiah.”

“Shee…” she was caught off-guard when Aiah suddenly hugged her, bawling her eyes out.
She didn’t expect that she'd go through Aiah easily like that. She’s now hugging an emotional
mess.

“Tahan na, ate…” she gave a soft pat on her back. She somehow found it quite funny how the
roles have reversed, with her, being a university student who's few years younger, as the one
comforting her ate, a full-grown successful career woman.

“So, nakapag decide ka na ba?” Sheena asked. She felt a slight nod from the other.

“Wala na rin naman ibang choice, diba? Besides, Staks probably signed the consent form
already. I know her.”

“Let’s hope for the best nalang. Sabi naman ni ate Staku, magaling yung doktor ang nag-
aalaga kay ate Mikhs eh.”

Aiah smiled a bit at the thought. “Yeah, magaling si Doc Robles. She really looks out for her
patients. Pati nga kami ni Staks, alaga rin nya eh. Siguro mas mahihirapan ako kung wala
sya.."
Now, this got Sheena curious. She has heard of Doc Robles quite a lot from Stacey, from the
meals to random dinners. But hearing it from Aiah felt different. She’ll ask Stacey for more
information when she has the chance.

---

Their night ended past midnight with Sheena driving a passed-out Aiah back to her
apartment. She expected much that she'd be the driver, that’s why she didn’t drink even a
single bottle.

“Yes po, malapit na kami. Grabe, lasing na lasing si ate. Dalawang beses pa nga ata nag
whiskey on the rocks ‘to tas pitong bot ng beer.”

“Oh my gosh, ate Aiah…” was all Stacey could say from the other line. But she’s thankful
nonetheless that nothing bad happened to her, except for passing out. The last thing anyone
needs right now is another person in the hospital.

“Buti nalang talaga, tinawagan nya ako kanina. At least she knows how to keep herself safe,
somehow.”

“Grabe, laki na ng utang ko sayo, Shee. Sorry talaga sa abala.”

“Nukaba, ate. Okay lang yun. Nag-aalala din naman ako dito kay ate Aiah. And besides, I’m
glad to help.”

“But still–”

“Kung gusto mong makabawi, explain mo nalang sa akin mga bagay bagay pag nagkita tayo.
Okay?”
“Sure, no problem.”

“Sige, ate. Ibaba ko na ‘to. Andito na kami sa may apart– wait…” Sheena paused for a bit
after seeing an unfamiliar vehicle parked in front of Aiah’s apartment.

“Bakit? Anong nangyari?” Stacey asked, worried that the younger suddenly stopped talking.

“May nakapark na sasakyan sa harap ng apartment ni ate. Hindi sya familiar sakin.”

“Sasakyan? Nang ganitong oras?”

“Oo. Tumigil muna ako two houses away para sure. Hindi ko alam bakit may pickup na naka-
park dun."

“Wait, pickup?”

This got Sheena confused, “Uh, oo? Kung ‘di ako nagkakamali, Raptor ‘to. Kulay black na
naka lift pa. Tawag na ba ako ng pulis?” Sheena’s getting more anxious by the minute. It’s
one thing to protect herself, but it’ll be harder to protect an unconscious drunk.

“Wait, no! I think alam ko na kung sinong may-ari. Safe yan.” This got Sheena really
confused.

“Okay? Sure ka, ha? Pag hindi kami nagparamdam bukas, kasalanan mo ‘to.”

“Oo na. Pero promise, safe yan.”

“Sige, ate Staku. Baba ko na tawag ah.”

Once they end the call, Sheena slowly drives forward, nearing Aiah’s apartment and the
suspicious pickup truck.

“Okay, here goes nothing.”

She turned off the engine quietly once she parked in front of the house. She went out of the
car, leaving Aiah in her seat momentarily to check on the suspicious vehicle.

“Hello?” she called out quietly, but no response.

“Sir?” She called once more as she approached the driver’s window. She saw that it was
slightly rolled down, giving her a chance to peek, but the truck’s height didn’t help her at all.

“Hello?” she called once more, having no response yet.

Collecting her courage, she set her foot on the step rail and lifted herself to reach the small
opening in the window, grabbing the door frame carefully.

She almost lost her balance as she didn’t expect what she saw.

Guess she won't need Stacey to answer some of her questions now.

“Doc Robles?!”
---

This woke the sleeping doctor up.

“Huh… ano?” she asked puzzled. She was still half-asleep when the other person spoke.

“Doc Robles? Ginagawa nyo po dito?” Sheena asked, confusion evident on her face.

“Ah, ano kasi. Wait, ba’t nga ba ako nandito?” she asked, more to herself. She was woken up
so suddenly that she was still a bit disoriented.

“Andito tayo sa tapat ng apartment ni ate Aiah. Pinsan ko si ate Stacey. Nagbantay ako once
kay ate Mikhs isang weekend,” Sheena clarified. The doctor might not be too familiar with
her.

She shook her head for a bit, removing any sleepiness in her. “Oh, right. Apartment ni Ms.
Arceta. Ikaw si Sheena, tama ba?”

“Yes?” Sheena asked unsurely. At least one thing’s for sure. There are no burglars tonight.

“Uh, pwede baba ka muna saglit dyan sa step rail? Baka mahulog ka pa. I’ll come out in a
bit,” Jhoanna asked, seeing that Sheena’s still hanging on her truck.

“Ay, hala sorry.” Immediately, she jumped down from the step rail. Jhoanna came out of the
truck soon after. Sheena noted that she still has her white coat on her.

“Pero bago ang lahat, doc, pwede patulong muna kay ate Aiah?”
This has caused a slight panic on Jhoanna. “Huh? Bakit? Anong nangyari?”

“Relax. Okay lang naman sya. Sobrang lasing lang so need ko sana patulog magbuhat.”
Sheena motioned her head towards Aiah’s car.

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

The two had minor difficulty getting Aiah out of the car, with Jhoanna pulling her out and
Sheena guiding her head to avoid any injury. Once out, Jhoanna carried her bridal style,
somehow surprising Sheena with her strength.

“Sorry doc, nadamay ka pa. Napagbuhat pa kita,” Sheena said as she rummaged Aiah’s bag
for the keys.

“No worries. Actually, nag-aalala ako sa kanya kaya chineck ko kung nakauwi na sya.”

“Wow,” Sheena said to herself, but unfortunately, the doctor heard it.

“Yeah, medyo kasalanan ko rin naman bakit nagkakaganito sya ngayon. I believe you’re
already informed about what happened?” Jhoanna asked.

Sheena opened the door, guiding Aiah’s head to avoid bumping into the wall while Jhoanna
carried her inside.

“Alam ko lang po yung gist. Nabanggit ni ate Staku kanina. Nahihirapan ako para kay ate
Aiah, actually.”

They planned to put Aiah down on the sofa but clutters of photographs and cameras stopped
them, they're afraid to touch those so they have no choice.
“Mukhang aakyat tayo?”

Jhoanna easily carried Aiah to her room, which amazed Sheena. Once Aiah’s settled down,
Jhoanna breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Super thank you, Doc Robles. Baka kinaladkad ko na yan paakyat kung wala ka dito.”

“Sure, no problem. Mukhang nakatulong yung ilang taon kong pagbuhat buhat ng pasyente,”
she chuckled lightly as she observed the sleeping girl. The laughter died down soon after.

“Usap tayo sa baba? I’m sure you have so many questions.”

Sheena just nodded.

The two stayed silent for a moment, with Jhoanna making two cups of coffee for them both.
Her white coat now hanging loosely on the sofa.

“Coffee?” she asked.

“May coffee si ate Aiah?” Sheena was quite surprised. She knows Aiah’s not a coffee drinker.

“Yeah. Meron syang nakatago incase may visitors sya. Really thoughtful of her.”
Sheena could only smile sadly, “Yeah. Ganyan talaga yan, si ate Aiah.”

They both settled on the kitchen counter, sipping from their cups silently.

“So, Doc Robles,” Sheena started, “‘Wag mo sana masamain pero ask ko lang po, ba’t andito
kayo? Nagulat lang ako. Normally, wala naman kasi tao dito except kay ate. And yung fact na
alam mo kung nasan yung kape…”

Jhoanna scratched the back of her neck. Why was she here anyway? And how does she
explain the coffee thing?

“Biglaan lang ‘to, actually. Umalis agad ako nung sinabi ni Ms. Sevilleja na lumayas bigla si
Ms. Arceta.”

“Bakit po?”

Jhoanna looked away. She’s getting embarrassed by this interrogation. She doesn’t even
understand her actions.

“Takot lang din siguro ako and guilty? I mean, kitang-kita ko reaction nya nung sinabi ko sa
kanya yung balita. I figured she won’t take it lightly. Naisip ko na agad na baka may gawin
sya. Nung narinig kong nagpapanic si Ms. Sevilleja paghahanap sa kanya, alam kong
kailangan kong tumulong.”

Sheena only nodded.

Awkward silence occurred before Sheena broke it. “Nabanggit nga sakin ni ate Staks
situation ni ate Mikhs. Ano bang risk nung surgery?”
Jhoanna had to put her cup down due to trembling hands.

“It’s like we’re choosing the lesser evil here. Walang guarantee except dun sa katiting na 30%
chance that we have. Either we lose her fighting or we lose her doing nothing at all. Pero
malay naman natin? Baka sakaling kapitan nya yung 30% na yun? Hindi naman natin
malalaman unless we try,” Jhoanna can only give an unsure smile. It’s probably false hope
again. But then again, it’s still hope.

“Grabe… ‘Di ko inexpect na ganito na pala kalala…”

“Sobrang hirap panoorin, sa totoo lang. Yung pag collapse ng respiratory system nya, kaya
naka support na pati pag hinga nya. Kinailangan syang kabitan ng tracheal tube nung
nakaraan. Kung ‘di ka familiar, yun yung need butasan yung leeg then dun idadaan yung tube
na nakadirekta sa baga.”

“Shet, mas malala pa pala sa naiisip ko,” Sheena could only grimace. She had seen those in
movies. It’s really not a good sight to see.

“Yeah, sorry for that,” Jhoanna was really apologetic. It’s not easy explaining those things to
the patient’s friends and family.

“No, don’t be. I think need ko rin naman malaman yung totoong situation. Alam kong pareho
na silang nahihirapan, at least maging emotional support man lang nila ako.”

Jhoanna could only smile.

“Maswerte si Aiah to have supportive friends, no? Hindi ka basta basta makakatagpo ng mga
taong sasamahan ka sa mga ganitong bagay.”

“‘Yang si ate Aiah, parang totoong ate ko na rin naman yan eh. Lagi akong iniispoil nyan lalo
na nung gradeschool ako. Medyo nabawasan nalang naman nung nagsimula na yung mga
issues pero labs ko pa rin yan.”
Jhoanna can’t help but admire the older woman more. Hearing more about Aiah makes her
feel more… she can’t put it into words.

"Eh ikaw, Doc?”

“Ako?” Jhoanna asked back.

“Yeah, I mean, alam ko namang doktor ka. Inaalagaan mo mga pasyente mo. Nakwento ni ate
Staku na inaalagaan mo si ate Aiah, dinadalhan mong food, or nililibre mong dinner and
stuff, treating her dinner and stuff. Pero ‘di ko inexpect na aabot sa pupunta ka dito. To think
na naka white coat ka pa so it just means sobrang nagmamadali ka umalis kanina.” Now that
Sheena mentioned it, she realized how it might have looked to other people.

“Uhm, ano…” Why, Jhoanna? She asked, more to herself.

She’s been acting on impulse a lot recently and she’s only realizing it now.

“I… don’t know, Sheena.”

“Huh?”

Jhoanna could only sigh. She can’t form a proper, reasonable response.

“Ano lang… ‘di ko talaga alam. Para bang, basta alam ko, kailangan ko gawin ‘to para sa
kanya, kaya ayun, medyo nagiging impulsive ako.”

The younger nodded slowly, absorbing Jhoanna’s explanation, which actually didn’t answer
anything at all.
“Nagmeet kayo sa ospital, tama? Nung umuwi sya from London?”

Shet, eto na naman tayo, Jhoanna thought. And here she thought that she’d never have to
bring back that story again.

“Ilang taon ka na, Sheena?”

“22. Bakit po?”

She’s not a minor so it’s alright, she thought.

“Uh… ‘Di ko sure if nabanggit na ni Aiah nung nag club sya back then, sa London…” she
trailed off. It’s actually embarrassing to be retelling this story again.

“‘Di ko sure kung alin exactly yung sinasabi mo pero aware naman akong nasa London sya
bago mangyari mga ganap,” Great, Sheena didn’t know the whole story.

“Sabihin nalang nating ano… nagkita kami sa isang bar sa London one night, about a month
bago mangyari yung aksidente. May conference ako that time. The next time we met,
nangyaring ex pala sya ng pasyente ko.”

“Hmmm, so may nangyari that night? I mean, nag bar kayo, with drinks, nalasing and all.
And para maattach ka sa kanya nang ganito? I’m sure hindi lang yan ‘Oh hey, nice dress,
bye’ nung nag-inom kayo.”

Jhoanna had to raise her admiration for the youngster in front of her. She actually figured out
what happened from her vague statements.

“Okay, fine. Na-figure out mo. Smart.”

Sheena smiled at her smartass brain, “well, alam ko naman kung paano ang mga galawan sa
ganyan. Alam ko kung san napupunta mga ganyang scenario. Hindi sa sinasabi kong
naexperience ko na, pero basta, alam ko lang. Oh my god, ‘wag mo ko isusumbong kay ate
Aiah,” Sheena was rambling at that point, which made Jhoanna giggle.

“Smart na, funny pa, Sheena. I like you.”

“True naman, sabi nga nila.”

The two can only laugh at Sheena’s remark.

Silence ensues after finishing their cups of already cold coffee. Jhoanna decided to gather the
cups to bring them to the sink.

“So, iwan nalang ba natin si ate? Okay na kaya sya bukas?”

“‘Wag mo na sya masyadong alalahanin. Uwi ka na if need mo na. May class ka bukas?”

“Hapon pa naman, doc. Eh kayo po?”

“Check ko lang sya one last time then alis na rin ako.”

“Okaaay…” Sheena walked towards the door unsurely. She’s not sure if it’s right to leave the
doctor dealing with Aiah alone. But remembering how Jhoanna looked when she asked her
earlier, she believed that she was leaving Aiah in good hands. Something about the doctor
makes Sheena trust her.

“Sige, doc, Una na po ako!” She was about to leave when she suddenly remembered
something. “Ay, doc, pakisabi pala kay ate Aiah, hiramin ko muna sasakyan nya. Isoli ko
bago ako pumasok bukas.”

“Okay. Drive safe.”

Sheena fetched Aiah’s things inside the car and left it on the coffee table before bidding
Jhoanna another goodbye.

Once left alone, she searched for the medicine cabinet, hoping that there were still some
hangover meds left.

She felt bad suddenly, remembering that just a night before, she was the one dead asleep
upstairs with Aiah going around preparing stuff for her.

“Hindi naman kita pwede pabayaang mag-isa, no?”

She checked the time, it was already two in the morning. Too late for her to go home. Also,
she feels wrong if she’s just gonna leave Aiah like that.

“Welp, I guess dito muna ako. Uwi nalang ako saglit mamaya.”

She grabbed her coat and Aiah’s stuff before heading to the bedroom. It’s eerily quiet now
that she’s alone.

Once inside, she looked around, looking for a place to sit or lie down. She found a lone
reading chair beside the bed.

“Pwede na siguro dun.”

Never did she expect the day to end this way. But here she is, looking out for the woman
who’s about to be broken anytime soon. She can’t believe she’ll care for someone to this
extent, not after her.

She settled herself on the chair before closing her eyes, finally succumbing to dreamland
that’s been calling her for a while.

AIAH’S POV:

A glaring headache welcomed me the next morning.

“Shit, anong nangyari?” was all I could mutter at the moment. The last thing I remember is
the taste of whiskey. After that, everything’s blank.

Noting the familiar lavender wall, I realized that I was actually in my room. How did I end up
here?

I looked around while still half-asleep. One thing I noticed is a white coat sitting comfortably
on the backrest of my reading chair, with a notable “Jhoanna Robles, MD” embroidered on
top of the Makati Medical Center logo.

“Jhoanna?” I called softly. She’s here?

I looked at my bedside table. The clock says it’s only 5:30 am.

Looking around more, I found a glass of lukewarm water on my bedside table with some
hangover meds.

“Sya ba naglagay nito? Eh si Shee? Asan na si Shee?” my questions are left unanswered by
the silence of the room, except for the minute sound of utensils clinking with each other.

I tried to stand up, stabling myself for a while before walking slowly towards the door. The
smell of fried eggs suddenly entered my senses, making my stomach rumble.

Right. I didn't eat anything last night. No wonder I passed out drinking.

Walking slowly downstairs, what sight greeted me warms my heart a bit.

Jhoanna’s been busy cooking breakfast with two plates on the kitchen counter. Sleeves rolled
up, hair tied messily, and she’s wearing my worn-out apron. I should really buy a new one.

Step by step, I went down carefully so as not to let myself fall… on the stairs I mean.

“Eyy gising ka na! Good morning,” Jhoanna greeted me as she poured some hot water into
two mugs.

“What happened?” was all I could ask. I still can’t figure out how Jhoanna ended up being
here instead of Sheena. I might be drunk last night but I know I was with Sheena.

“Well, for starters, nag pass out ka kagabi. Hinatid ka ni Sheena pauwi. Hiniram din pala nya
sasakyan mo pero isoli naman daw mamaya.”
Aiah was able to put two and two but she still can’t fit Jhoanna in the story.

“Where do you fit in the story?”

“Yun na nga…” I can sense her embarrassment. Why would she, anyway?

“Uhm, chineck lang din kasi kita nung pauwi na ako. Sakto namang nakita ko sasakyan mo
pero nagtaka ako na si Sheena yung driver tas passed out ka na sa tabi nya. Eh ayun, gusto ko
lang siguraduhing okay ka kaya eto ako ngayon,” she smiled innocently. Well, that actually
makes sense, in a way.

“Oh, thank you, I guess.”

A plate full of eggs and bacon and a cup of tea was put in front of me. “Kain ka na. Sabi ni
Sheena, wala ka rin daw kinain kagabi.”

“Yeah, medyo nabusy sa alak” I giggled awkwardly. Yeah, that wasn’t really funny.

It has been silent since we started eating, save for the occasional clinking of utensils on our
plates. It’s actually more deafening like this.

It's kind of awkward, to say the least. Only the sound of cutlery hitting plates can be heard.

As we’re eating, I can feel her eyes on me. I’m not that oblivious to see that she kept glancing
at me. It’s as if she’s waiting for me to speak.
"Guess I really need to apologize to Staku big time," I mumbled softly, which sounded more
like I was talking to myself rather than Jhoanna.

"I think I caused her enough trouble last night, also to Sheena. Oh my god, sobrang kalat ko
kagabi."

Now that I realize it, I was so stupid last night, causing unnecessary stress to people. Heck, I
won’t be surprised if Stacey’s already making an effigy of me to burn.

"I think gets naman ni Sheena. As for Stacey, kailangan mo talaga makipag usap sa kanya.
Sobrang nag-aalala sya kagabi pa," that statement from Jhoanna gave us an opening for the
topic that we’re both dreading to discuss.

"Gusto ko rin mag apologize sa’yo, Jhoanna. I think I kinda lost it last night after… you
know."

Jhoanna can only give a small smile. I think she understands. "I kinda expected that. ‘Di ko
lang sure kung paano ka magrereact talaga. Pero gusto ko rin humingi ng tawad sa mga
kinahantungan ng mga bagay."

"Guess we really need to talk about it, huh?"

I grabbed my cup of tea and headed towards the sofa in the living room. It's raining outside,
perfect weather for my thoughts.

Jhoanna followed suit after putting the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Just to let you know, pinirmahan na ni Stacey yung consent form. Pinupush namin yung
operation na magawa in a day or two."
"Yeah, I figured as much. Mas kaya nya ihandle emotions nya compared sa’kin. Aminado
naman ako dun. Guess I can't just put it in my hands.” I know I sound like a coward but I
can’t help it. I’ve been beating myself so much because of this.

"Ang hirap pag sa’yo nakasalalay ang mga bagay, no? Yung feeling na, ‘pag may nangyari,
ako ang may kasalanan’ ?"

"You can say that." That’s exactly what I was feeling that night.

"Sisisihin mo ba si Stacey kung may mangyari man sa surgery?"

I looked at her immediately, with brows raised, "Of course not! That's ridiculous. Bakit ko
sya sisisihin?" Why would she even think that I’ll blame Staks for this? This is beyond her
control."

"Hmm, dahil sya yung pumirma ng consent form?" Jhoanna argued. She was trying to make a
point, and it then hit me.

"I…"

She gave me a reassuring smile, "Kahit ikaw pa ang pumirma nung consent form, walang
maninisi sa’yo. Sabi mo nga, it’s beyond your control. So, be gentle to yourself, okay?"

I can only look down. I can feel her moving closer to me. She gave me a soft pat on my
shoulder. God, her mere presence can make me calm.

"Look. We can only hope for the best. Hinihiling ko yan, Diyos ko, pinagdarasal ko yan sa
taas. Nasa kamay na ng team ni Doc Cruz ang bola. Pero kahit pa isa sa pinaka mahusay na
neuro si Doc Cruz, na kay Ms. Lim pa rin ang desisyon kung gigising sya o hindi.
Nakadepende pa rin sa kondisyon nya kung makakasurvive sya o hindi. Do you trust Ms.
Lim?"
I can only nod.

"Good. ‘Yan nalang ang magagawa natin at this point. Kailangan lang talaga natin silang
pagkatiwalaan."

I know what she’s saying is true, and it’s the reality. But still, that doesn’t change whatever’s
happening right now.

"Para sa ikakapanatag mo, ime-make sure kong nasa best condition si Ms. Lim at handang
handa sya para sa operation bukas. Babantayan ko syang mabuti. Okay ba?" her words
somehow comforted me but I can sense some weight in it.

But who am I to refuse her comfort? If anything, she might be feeling worse than me for she
has some sort of control over the situation but the situation calls for this to happen. It must’ve
been hard for her to do this.

I think I appreciate her even more. Jhoanna, I can’t thank you enough.

"Alright. Thank you, Jhoanna."

##
 A Glimmer of Hope
Chapter Summary

It's time for the surgery. Will they hold on to that 30% success rate?
Stacey's vulnerabilities; Jhoanna's dedication to save Mikha;

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

A GLIMMER OF HOPE

It's the day of the neurothrombectomy procedure. Jhoanna made sure everything was
prepared. She took extra care in monitoring Mikha, making sure that she was in her best
condition for the operation as she promised. She also finds it peculiar that she’s putting this
much effort into this particular patient, especially since she's a supposed ex-lover of someone
close to her heart.

"Everything ready, Doc Cruz?" She asked the professor in scrubs. Surgical gowns are being
handled by the nurses who are already waiting inside.

"Yes. Everything looks good so far so I really hope we'll be in that 30%. Kamusta sila?" the
professor has heard of what occurred the day before, with Aiah walking out on the talk. It
makes her actually worried about the guardians as well. She’s been through many instances
that the guardians would lash out at them.

"Okay na po. Nakausap ko naman na sila. Good na from their end."

"Good. We'll start in ten minutes. Thank you so much for the preparations, Doc Robles."
"Of course, Doc Cruz. Do your best."

Once the professor is inside the operating room, she makes her way to the waiting area,
where Stacey has been sitting for the past hour. Aiah wasn’t around the area.

"Okay ka lang, Ms. Sevilleja? Baka abutin ‘to ng mga dalawang oras."

"Mas prefer kong intayin nalang matapos," Stacey sighs, "Sa totoo lang, sobrang natatakot
ako, doc,"

The doctor can only look at her with an unsure gaze. She's in no position to tell her
everything will be alright because right now, they're on a very thin edge and nothing can be
certain. They're only holding onto that thin line — 30% to be precise — of hope.

"As a doctor, hindi ko dapat sinasabi ‘to pero honestly speaking? I feel the same, Ms.
Sevilleja."

"Dapat, naniniwala akong may pag-asa eh, para kay ate Aiah. Sobrang kailangan nya ng
emotional support given na medyo unstable sya ngayon, lalo na after nung nangyari last
time."

"Buti nalang talaga, sinamahan sya ng cousin mo. Nakausap ko naman sya nung
kinabukasan. Tanggap naman na nya pero syempre, andun pa rin yung sakit sa mga mata
nya," Jhoanna recalls how Aiah's eyes looked while she's explaining to her the possible
outcomes. The way she finally agreed, it seems defeated instead of accepting.

"Well, expected naman na yun sa kanya. Sobrang minahal din nun si Mikha, eh."

"Yeah…" was her only response. It kinda stings to hear that, kinda like a painful reminder.
But remembering what Stacey told her the other day, she understands why Aiah would act
like this.
"Pupunta ba sya?"

"Yep, may sinubmit lang sa office pero on the way na daw sya."

"Okay, Ms. Sevilleja. Iwan muna kita. Balikan ko rin kayo maya-maya. Hold on tight, okay?"
She gave a soft squeeze to Stacey's shoulder. Jhoanna can feel the slight tremble from the
other girl, obviously controlling her emotions.

"Okay, Doc Robles. Thank you, I needed that."

In ten minutes, Aiah arrived at the waiting area, at the same time the light lit up on top of the
operating room's door, indicating that the operation had just started.

"What's happening?" Aiah asked breathlessly with her hands on her knees. She literally
dashed her way inside the hospital.

"Start na ng operation. Sabi ni Doc Robles, baka raw abutin ng two hours."

Aiah wanted to be there much earlier but she has to submit a couple of printouts to her boss.
Good thing her boss was kind enough to let her go after telling her about the operation.

"Right. Nagkausap ba kayo ni Doc Robles kanina?"

"Yeah."

"What did they say?" She asked, hopeful.

As hopeful as she also wants to be, it pains her to know that all they have is uncertainty.

"Let's just hope for the best."

It isn't an answer Aiah wanted to hear. Ironically, it sounded like a lost hope, which didn't sit
right with her.

"Stak—"

"30%. Panghawakan natin yan, okay?" Aiah was forced to agree given Stacey's unreadable
expression.

"Y-yeah, let's hope."

It was an excruciating silence. An hour has passed and no signs of any involved doctors yet.

As much as Stacey wanted to shut her eyes even for a minute due to the lack of sleep, her
mind was working overdrive, thinking of different scenarios, which kept her anxiety at an all-
time high. Anything can happen inside. There’s a whole 70% chance of failure.

Aiah, on the other hand, has been frozen in her spot for the last hour. She's been staring at the
door the whole time without a word, without movement. The only time she moves is when
she needs to blink. It actually scared Stacey. Aiah really seemed… lifeless.

The silence was broken when a team in scrubs rushed in their direction.

There are three operating rooms in the area. Two of which are situated near the main entrance
of the hallway. The room where Mikha is in is at the end of the corridor.
Both Aiah and Stacey froze on the spot when the team completely bypassed the first two
operating rooms.

Time seems to slow down when they see them enter the last operating room— Mikha's room.

"W-what's happening?!" She isn't a medical expert but she knows that this isn't supposed to
happen.

"Mikha!" She's about to follow the staff if not for Stacey who held her by the arms.

She remained standing there in the middle of the hallway, feet glued on the floor. Scenarios
began playing in front of her eyes. Things she feared the most, she felt like it's turning into
reality.

"No no no no no!" She's becoming hysterical, suddenly feeling harder and harder to breathe.
The room began spinning around her. Everything felt so unreal for her. She's about to
collapse on the floor if not for a pair of arms that caught her just in the nick of time.

"Hinga, Ms. Arceta. Inhale, exhale. You're having a panic attack," Jhoanna informs. She can
feel Aiah's whole body tremble against her hold. The grip on her arms tightens as Aiah tries
to control her ragged breathing.

"Makinig ka sakin. Focus ka lang sa boses ko, okay? You're gonna be alright. Let's calm your
breathing." She's still keeping hold of the woman while caressing her back, speaking, rather
whispering softly to Aiah.

"Breathe in slowly, then breathe out," she instructed. She gave Aiah a breathing pattern to
regulate her breathing. It’ll be a lot of problems for them if this doesn’t work.

Stacey could only watch in horror at what's happening in front of her. Even some of the other
people in the waiting area looked at the two in concern. It was like those scenes from the
movies where the lover lost consciousness upon learning that their significant other died,
except this isn't a movie. And hopefully, the significant other is still alive.

Jhoanna felt a slight relief when Aiah's breathing started to normalize.

"That's it, Ms. Arceta. You're doing great. Slowly, breathe in, then breathe out."

Once she felt Aiah regain her strength, she guided her to one of the chairs for her to sit.

"Steady now. Okay ka na ba?” she asked with a face painted with concern. She knows the
stress is building up on Aiah one by one and it’s only a matter of time before she explodes.
Hands holding onto her sleeve clutched tighter. Aiah’s trying to stabilize herself. She can feel
her cold hands through her coat.

“I… I’m alright…” she answered breathlessly, still trying to regain her composure.
Everything happened so fast that no one noticed the lights from the operating room turning
off, indicating the end of the operation. It has been thirty minutes since the panic attack.

“Doc, tapos na sila…” Stacey informed them. Everyone was now holding their breaths,
waiting for the surgeons from the inside. Every antagonizing second feels like forever for the
three.

A few minutes later, the operating room opened, revealing the person everyone was so
anxious to meet eye to eye.

Jhoanna was the first one to approach, motioning Stacey to keep Aiah at bay.

“Doc Cruz,” she called while walking towards the said doctor. No one can decipher the
expression of the three doctors.

Doctor Cruz closed her eyes for a bit, breathing in deeply. Jhoanna was now getting worried.
Meanwhile, Stacey caresses Aiah’s arm, who’s still shaking from her panic attack earlier.

“Okay ka na ba, ate?” she asked worriedly. It’s actually the first time she saw her having a
panic attack. This has never occurred before so she’s actually lost on what to do.

“I… yeah, I’m alright, Staks,” she kept her head low, still trying to regulate her breathing.

They were so busy with each other that they failed to notice several footsteps walking in their
direction.

“Ms. Sevilleja? Ms. Arceta?” Doc Cruz called.

Both women froze in their seats. They’re not sure if they’re ready to hear the news.

Looking up slowly, they tried to read their expressions but failed to do so. Stacey now
wondered if doctors really have this ability to mask their expressions well.

Stacey stood up slowly before giving a bow to the doctor. She’s grateful for them regardless
of the outcome.

“H-how’s Mikha?” she didn’t expect her voice to break. She’s been holding her emotions
since the day before.

She observed each one of the doctors’ faces, including Doc Robles’. For some reason, Doc
Robles’ unreadable expression scared her more than it should.
Aiah remained in her seat, afraid that she might collapse at any moment.

“I just wanna say that Ms. Lim was able to hold on during the surgery,” Doc Cruz said.

Everyone went mute, not processing what the doctor had just said. What did she mean by
‘able to hold on?’

“Doc Robles?” Stacey looked at her, hoping for a better explanation.

“It means, napanghawakan natin yung 30% chance, Ms. Sevilleja, Ms. Arceta,” a small smile
starts to form on Jhoanna’s mouth.

“Wait… ibig mong sabihin…” Stacey was still processing Jhoanna’s words. She was so ready
to hear the bad news that she wasn’t able to process these different words immediately.

Aiah can only look at Jhoanna with eyes wide, still speechless. She’s afraid that a single word
can break her demeanor.

“What I’m saying is that she survived. They might have experienced a slight hiccup earlier
but she managed. Ms. Lim survived the surgery.”

Jhoanna had just finished speaking when all of a sudden, she felt a tight hug, knocking her
breath away. The familiar scent of lavender brought comfort to her as well.

Sniffs can be heard from her shoulder. Aiah’s definitely crying.

“Thank you, Doc Robles, Doc Cruz. Thanks to all of you, really,” Jhoanna was only able to
caress her back as Aiah’s practically wailing at this point. Stacey thanked the other doctors on
her behalf.
“I guess we’ll leave you first for a bit. We’ll discuss everything with Doc Robles in a while.”

STACEY’S POV:

It’s been an intense day for all of us. Everyone has been on the edge of their seats since I can
remember. As for ate Aiah, I know she’s feeling worse inside. And given that she’s a person
who tends to bottle things up, there must be a whole emotional turmoil inside of her.

We’re back in Mikha’s room. It’s already 10 in the evening. Too late to still be awake
considering what we went through that morning. Ate’s sleeping on the spare bed, looking
restless. I can’t blame her. She just had a panic attack earlier. And who would’ve thought that
Mikha would actually survive the surgery? Even I have accepted the worst even before the
surgery had begun. I’m actually happy and starting to become hopeful once again.

“There’s hope, Mikhs. Kapit lang. Makakabalik ka rin sa’min.”

I must’ve looked dumb talking to myself.

I felt my stomach rumble. Right, I haven’t had dinner. Too restless to even think about it.

“Hanap lang akong food,” I spoke to no one again. Might as well just message ate Aiah that
I’ll just grab some snacks in case she wakes up.
---

It’s already dark but the outside of the hospital doesn’t seem to be sleeping anytime soon.
We’re in Makati afterall. This city never sleeps.

I found a decent restaurant just a few walks from the hospital. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to eat a
full-course meal. I just realized that I’m actually famished.

Upon entering, I observed the place. Not many people are around, most of them probably
folks from the hospital and nearby night-shift employees.

“Table for one?” a server approached me. I was about to answer when I saw a familiar form
on one of the seats at the far end of the restaurant.

“Actually, nasa loob na po kasama ko,” the server just nodded and left to serve other guests.
I, on the other hand, made my way towards the table I’d been eyeing since earlier.

I can see the surprise on her face once I pat her shoulder.

“Ms. Sevilleja? It’s late na. Gising ka pa?”

I sat myself in the seat across her. “Ikaw nga dapat tinatanong ko nyan, doc.”

I observed Doc Robles in front of me. It’s apparent that she’s been here for a while. She has
several pieces of paper in front of her and a tablet at hand. There’s also an already empty
plate beside her and a wine glass with remnants settled at the bottom. I can see her slightly
flushed face despite the dim lighting. She probably drank a lot already.

I called for a server and gave out my orders. She was about to leave when she faced Doc
Robles.

“Anything else po, doc?” she asked.

The doctor looked at me briefly. “Would you care for a drink?”

“I don’t mind,” I answered. I needed something to help me sleep, anyway.

“Paki dala na lang po siguro nung natitira sa bottle then pakilagay po sa bucket ng ice, and
another glass for the lady. Thank you,” she looked at me.

“Sige po, doc. Anything else po?” we both shook our heads. The served left afterward.

There was silence between us. I don’t actually know what to ask.

“Kamusta kayo ni Ms. Arceta?” she started. She began compiling the pieces of paper
scattered on the table. Seems like those are medical reports, judging from the header.

“Kinakaya ko pa naman. Si ate Aiah… ayun, drained sya. Bagsak agad pagbalik ng room.”

Jhoanna only nodded. I can see a slight relief in her eyes. Those eyes have been full of stress
recently.

“Eh ikaw, doc? Sobrang na stress ka rin recently, tapos ang dami pang nangyari today. Tapos
ngayon, makikita kita dito, nagbabasa ng reports? That’s not normal na.”
“I just wanna make sure everything will go smoothly,” she answered softly.

“Tungkol ba ito dun sa planong stem cell transplant for Mikhs?” I guessed. No harm asking,
right?

I saw her look sideways. Guess I was right.

“Well… no point hiding it to you,” she gave a small chuckle. That was actually charming.

“Nakinig kasi talaga ako kay Doc Cruz kanina. Sure akong walang maaabsorb si ate Aiah eh.
So, ano na next na mangyayari?”

She shuffled the papers and read one page. “Naghahanap ako ng mga possible donors kay
Ms. Lim. Inaaral ko rin yung mga risks involved. Need pa rin natin mag-intay ng isang
linggo para sure na nag stabilize na si Ms. Lim from her operation kanina. Isa ito sa mga
bago at highly-advanced na procedure so kailangan natin siguraduhing maayos ang lahat.”

“Grabe, ang dedicated mo naman, doc…” I can’t help but admire her dedication. I can see
how tired she is but she’s still at it.

Ate must have really meant something to her.

“I just want what’s best for my patient,” she answered robotically. I can sense her masking it
with generalization. But even I can tell that this is beyond what she’s being asked for.

Shortly after, my food arrived together with the wine she ordered. I’m starting to worry about
how much she’s been drinking. Is she gonna drive home like this?

“Help yourself, Ms. Sevilleja. Para sa’yo yang wine talaga.”

“Oh, bayaran nalang ki–”

“No need na. It’s my treat.”

“Pero–”

“I insist.”

I couldn’t argue anymore. Seems like she won’t give in anyway.

“Thanks… doc.”

Halfway through my food, I can see her staring blankly at nothing in particular. Deep in
thought, perhaps?

“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked. That seems to bring her back to earth.

“Sorry. Dami lang tumatakbo sa isip ko.”

“Wanna talk?” I guess it doesn’t hurt to help her.

“Nag-aalala lang ako.”

“Hm?”

I can see the hesitation in her eyes. I know it’s not about me being the one she’s sharing but
rather, it’s about the things she wanted to say.

“Okay lang, Doc. Makikinig ako. Alam kong lagi mong pinakikinggan si ate Aiah kaya ako
naman makikinig sa’yo.” That seems to do the trick.

She released a sigh.

“I’m worried about Aiah…” she spilled. And I’m not actually surprised. I knew she’d been
thinking about ate.

“Kahit pa sabihin kong ‘wag masyado mag-alala, pero kahit ako rin naman, nag-aalala eh.”

I saw her shift her position, leaning a bit on the table with her wine glass at hand.

“Ang galing mo nga eh, Ms. Sevilleja. Sa dami ng nangyari, parang kayang kaya mong
kontrolin emosyon mo. Nakakapag-isip ka pa rin nang maayos kahit nasa extreme situations
na tayo. I admire you for that.”

“Actually, hindi ko rin sure paano. Hmm, ako kasi ‘yung tao na magsasalita talaga pag may
nasa isip ako. Hindi ako nagkikimkim ng mga saloobin ko. Hindi tulad ni ate Aiah. Kaya rin
siguro mas kaya kong ihandle ‘yung emotions ko. Si ate naman, on the other hand... I’m sure
sobrang laki nung impact ng accident ni Mikhs kaya parang nawawala rin sya ngayon.”

“That makes sense…”

No words were exchanged for a while after that. I had just finished my food. I have to thank
Doc Robles for the wine. Sleepiness has finally caught me.
“Salamat sa pa-wine, Doc. Eto lang pala kailangan ko para antukin.”

“No worries, Ms. Sevilleja.”

Another silence. I don’t know what else to say at this point.

I observed the woman in front of me. I can see her droopy eyes. Bags are obvious under those
dark orbs but she made an effort to hide it with those thick-framed specs of hers. Her cheeks
are also a bit red, and I’m sure it’s not because of makeup. She must be really tired but here
she is, pushing herself more.

“‘Wag mong sabihing magdadrive ka pauwi nang ganyan?” I’m also referring to the fact that
she drank a little bit too much for her to drive. I’m already traumatized by this scenario.

“Don’t worry, Ms. Sevilleja. Mag grab nalang siguro ako. Ramdam kong hindi ko na rin kaya
magdrive at this point.”

“Good. Please, ‘wag ka na gagaya kay Mikhs.”

We started packing up since it’s getting really late. Hopefully, ate’s still asleep. I don’t want
her panicking because she can’t find me.

“Salamat ulit sa food and drink, doc.”

“No worries. “

“See you tomorrow?”

“Sure, Ms. Sevilleja. Pahinga ka na rin after. Alright?”

“Sure. Ikaw rin, doc. Bukas mo na yan ituloy.”

We bid one last goodbye to each other, with me heading back to the hospital.

---

I opened the door carefully, afraid that I might wake ate Aiah up. It’s already nearing
midnight. I guess doc Robles and I took quite some time talking.

As I settled myself on the sofa, I looked at my friend’s limp figure again. She has an
additional bandage on her head, an aftermath of the surgery earlier.

“Ano na, Mikha Lim?” I felt stupid asking it but nonetheless, it’s better than not speaking at
all. Who knows, she might have heard that.

“Sakit lalo siguro ng ulo mo, no? Well, at least wala na yung clotting, pero puro tahi ka
naman ngayon. Tsaka, tanda mo yung meme ng fave line mo sa kanta ng Red Velvet, yung,
‘Sometimes, you gotta be bald,’ Naaalala mo yun? Tingnan mo sarili mo ngayon.” It was one
of our favorite lines-turned-meme from one of our favorite songs. It’ll never be not funny,
especially now that Mikha’s bald. I tried to laugh but it came out empty instead. I actually
waited for her to laugh back for a moment, stupid as it may seem.

But no response. Of course, what do I expect anyway?

“Mukha namang gusto mo pang lumaban, no? Alam mo ba kanina, bago pa man magstart
yung surgery, tinanggap na namin na posibleng mawala ka na sa’min? But here you are,
talagang kinapitan yung 30% chance. Who’d have thought?”

I smiled a bit. I hope I can hear her answer. I wanna know what’s on her mind right now.
Does she know what’s happening right now?

A thought suddenly crossed my mind.

“Mikha Lim, laban ka lang, ha? Gustong-gusto pa rin kitang suntukin sa perwisyong ginawa
mo sa'min. Gusto kong makita kung paano ka magiging defensive, magpapacute and all.
Nakakairita mukha mo pag ganun ka, pero ‘di ko aaminin na cute ka pag ganon.”

My smile faltered. I know I’m asking something impossible at this point. I might even
consider the successful operation a miracle.

A lone tear escapes my eye. I’ve been holding it in for the whole day. Seeing ate Aiah in that
state, I know one of us must at least be the pillar of the other. I can’t afford to break down in
front of her if ate’s being like this.

“You’ve given us a sign na lumalaban ka pa. Kaya panindigan mo please, Mikhs?”

My mind then wandered to the events earlier, then to a certain doctor. I’m not blind not to see
it. But I guess both are unaware of it. And ate, being the unstable emotional mess that she is
now, she’ll give in easily to anyone willing to open their hearts to her vulnerability, just like
what Doc Robles is doing.

“Gusto mo pang mabawi si ate Aiah, di 'ba? Kaya kailangan mong bumangon dyan at
kumilos bago pa man sya makuha ng iba. Baka mamaya, mahuli ka na pag natulog ka lang
dyan.”
 I don’t know if Mikha can hear this. I’m not sure how she’ll feel about this. But one thing’s
for sure. They’ll both lose each other if she doesn’t wake up.

"Balik ka na sa'min... Balik ka na sa'kin. Gising ka na soon, please?”

##

Chapter End Notes

Surprise update? hehe

 Walls Came Crashing Down Again
Chapter Summary

Jhoanna and Colet finally saw each other face to face.

Chapter Notes

TW: Medyo out-of-character si Jho dito (you'll see why) so some bad words may be said.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

WALLS CAME CRASHING DOWN AGAIN

Fourteen hours of sleep didn't ease the tiredness that Aiah has been feeling. In fact, she felt
like dragging her body more than ever.

She needs to go to work today. They have a scheduled photo shoot at 12. Good thing she was
able to wake up at nine, giving her enough time to make herself at least presentable.

She looked at the couch and saw her friend sleeping in a sitting position. Seems like Stacey
fell asleep without knowing. She can see how tired her eyes are even when asleep. The
message left unread from her phone confirmed that she was still awake late at night.

She decided to do her morning routine. No use waking the girl up at this hour. She'll just
wake her up before leaving.
It was a little bit past ten when she finished preparing, dressed in a white button-down blouse
tucked in her light denim pants, and light makeup to freshen up her face a bit.

A knock was heard outside. Must be the daily rounds, she thought.

Her surprise wasn't concealed when instead of the doctor she was expecting, a different
doctor entered, clipboard at hand.

"Doc Jea?"

The doctor laughed a bit, expecting this reaction from the other girl.

"Alam ko naman, Ms. Arceta. Hindi ako 'yung inaantay mo. Sorry to disappoint you." This
made Aiah blush a bit. She didn't want to offend the doctor in any way.

"N-no! It's alright. I was just surprised, that's all," she hesitated a bit before asking, "but
where is Doc Robles if you don't mind me asking?"

"Had to shoo her away to take proper rest. Nakita ko s'ya sa office n'ya kaninang madaling
araw. And that was around five in the morning."

"Oh…" Aiah doesn't know what to say.

"Pero sana, nakinig s'ya sa’kin. I haven't checked on her after scolding her earlier." Jea could
only shake her head. "’Yung taong 'yon. Masyadong masipag, hindi na nakakabuti para sa
kanya."

Jea looked at the patient, diverting her attention to Mikha, "mind if I take a look?"
"Oh, go ahead lang po, Doc Jea."

After a few minutes of checking the different equipment, Jea smiled briefly before walking
towards Aiah’s direction.

"Everything's looking good so far. Blood pressure and pulse are normal. Vital signs are
stable. No excessive bleeding from her stitches."

"That's good, then."

Jea gave a small bow and a smile, "I'll be on my way then, Ms. Arceta."

"Alright. Thank you, Doc Jea."

Once the doctor was gone, she checked her phone. 10:30 am. She'll have enough time for
brunch if she leaves now.

"Staks?" She gently tapped the sleeping woman.

"...huh?"

"I'm leaving for work. 10:30 am na.”

Stacey wiped her eyes before releasing a yawn. She didn't know when she fell asleep. She
isn't even aware that she fell asleep sitting.

"Oh… bye then," she answered half-asleep.

"Kape ka muna, Staks. Call me if there's something up. May photoshoot lang ako ng 12."

"Sige, ate. Ingat ka."

Aiah strode her way towards the parking lot. She wanted to reach her workplace earlier than
her schedule so she could have brunch at the cafe in front of their building. She definitely
loves their special turon.

It was a cool day today, with just enough sunlight to warm the surroundings. It was a type of
weather she liked.

As soon as she sat in the driver's seat, she turned the ignition on, only to hear the engine
choking like it was out of breath or something.

She tried it a few more times, only to have the same results.

"Oh my god. This is not happening."

She got out of the car and decided to check the engine. She's more frustrated that she's
wearing a plain white blouse for this.

She lifted the hood of her car, only for her to smell something she was dreading. "Oh my
gosh, seryoso ba?!"

She's too busy stressing about her car that she doesn't notice someone walking in her
direction.
"Something wrong?" The person asked, surprising the poor girl.

"Doc Robles! You surprised me. I thought pinauwi ka na raw?"

Aiah observed the doctor. She's wearing sunglasses, probably to cover her tired eyes. Her
wrinkled shirt has been roughly tucked in her pants. Her hair is also a bit disheveled. Such a
hot mess, Aiah thought.

"Pauwi na nga sana ngayon. May problem ba car mo?" Jhoanna observed the opened hood.
She can faintly smell burnt oil.

"My car won't start. I have to get to work."

"Let me check."

Aiah moved to the side, letting Jhoanna check the engine.

The doctor grabbed the dipstick before wiping it clean and inserting it back again. She pulled
it back up, checking the tip.

"Need mo na magpa-change oil. Medyo sagad na s'ya."

"Shit. I didn't notice. Sira oil gauge ko."

Jhoanna looked at her, "where do you work?"

"Around Fort Strip."

"Okay, hatid na kita." This surprised Aiah.

"Oh no, there's no need. Mag grab nalang ako. Magpahinga ka na, doc Robles, please."

"I insist. Along the way ko naman. Tawagan ko nalang yung mechanic ko, they can tow your
car and sila na bahala dyan."

Aiah was about to refuse still but Jhoanna’s tone of finality didn’t really help. "Fine."

The drive was quiet, with Jhoanna keeping herself awake and Aiah thinking about how her
morning went. Neither had a good morning for sure.

"Thank you, really. Dapat ‘di mo na ako hinatid. I heard na nag-overnight ka raw sa
hospital?"

Jhoanna laughed a bit, "Chinismis ni Doc Jea sa’yo?"

"Well, yeah. I kinda asked where you are."

She laughed more, "Si ante ko naman. Sabi ko ‘wag maingay eh," she then briefly looked at
her companion, "How are you?"

"I'm holding up. Not as tense as yesterday. I'm just relieved that Mikhs survived the
operation."

"That's great, then," she said softly. She doesn't know if it's the sleepiness or something else
that makes her less enthusiastic.
They stayed quiet after that, with Aiah giving directions from time to time.

"Have you eaten breakfast?"

"Nagcoffee ako."

Aiah pinched the driver's arm. "Wow ha? You scolded me so many times for skipping meals
pero ganun ka rin naman."

Jhoanna only grinned, "Sorry?"

"Fine. Let's eat first. My treat."

Jhoanna wasn't able to protest much. The next thing she knew, they were already parking at
the cafe's parking lot in front of Aiah's office building.

"Let's go."

"Dito ka nagwowork?" Jhoanna asked as she pointed to the building in front of the cafe they
were in right now as she took a bite off her waffle. Aiah's currently munching on her turon.

"Yeah. Dito rin si Staks pero we have different schedules kaya nakakapag alternate kami
magbantay."
"That's good. At least hindi n'yo na masyado problema schedules n'yo. What time pala start
ng shoot n'yo?"

"I still have an hour and a half to spare. I've been craving their special turon, kaya inagahan
ko. This place has great desserts."

"Your favorite?" Jhoanna asked, pointing at Aiah's plate.

"As in," she scooped a piece of turon before reaching Jhoanna's direction, "here, try it."

The doctor was surprised at Aiah's gestures. She's kinda sleepy and tired to think straight. She
became shy all of a sudden.

Hesitantly, she slowly reached for the spoon with her mouth, savoring the flavorful turon that
Aiah called her favorite.

Her eyes widen at the sudden burst of sweetness inside her mouth. It definitely tastes good.

"Good?" Aiah asked expectantly.

"Masarap nga! Sakto lang 'yung ripeness nung saging. I love how they add a bit of rum sa
glaze n'ya para may pambalance sa sweetness n'ya. Hindi gaano nakakatusing 'yung tamis
n'ya. Sakto lang din 'yung wrapper, not too thick, not too thin. Crunchy pa. I would say a
9/10," Jhoanna smiled.

"Huh? Where’s the 1? Why not a perfect score?" Aiah's whining like a baby right now and
Jhoanna can't help but be amazed at the sight.

"Nabitin ako eh. Parang gusto ko pa."

"Buy your own, then," Aiah stuck her tongue out before proceeding to eat the last piece of the
dessert.

"Hmmm, gawa nalang kaya ako para sa sarili ko? What do you think? Unli turon for me
only." She's now wiggling her eyebrows at the other, which made her laugh loudly.

"Greedy doctor."

"At least kaya ko s'yang i-recreate."

They were about to finish things up when the front door opened. Aiah saw a familiar face.

“Aiah!” the woman called once she saw them.

She initially smiled and was about to wave back but noticed the expression on the doctor’s
face. She seemed… frozen.

The newcomer doesn’t seem to notice Jhoanna’s face since she’s facing her back while she
approaches the two.

“Colet! Nganong sayo ka?"

“Ah oo. Para makalikay ko sa traffic.” she gave a small bow to the two, “oh, friend mo?
Okay lang ba maki-join?”

Before anyone could react, Colet had already settled herself beside Aiah. Jhoanna hasn’t
moved from her spot since.
At this point, Aiah is conflicted inside. She remembered how Jhoanna reacted when the
doctor saw Colet’s photo from before. What more now that she’s face to face with the
woman?

“Hello, uh…” Colet greeted Jhoanna unsurely, as the latter’s facial expression didn’t look
welcoming at all. She also observed the oddly familiar face in front of her.

“Her name’s Jhoanna, a friend of mine,” Aiah interjected. She’s already sensing the awkward
atmosphere around her.

“Hello po, Jhoanna! Nice to meet you!”

Jhoanna unfroze from her position when she felt a kick on her leg. She looked at the culprit
who was giving her eye gestures.

Ano… Paanong nangyari?! And you don’t even recognize me? Inner thoughts clouded the
doctor’s mind.

Jhoanna’s still in a state of shock. As much as she wanted to bombard the girl with questions,
it seemed like she was clueless, which actually confused her.

“Uhh, right. Hello, Ni-uhm, Colet, right?” she had to ask. It’s a name unfamiliar to her.

“Yes, Colet Vergara. Galing akong Bohol kaya sorry na agad if may times na hirap ako sa
Tagalog.”

“Oh…”

The model looked at Aiah, who was able to immediately mask her expression. “Aiah, ganda
ng friend mo. Pwedeng pwede s'ya pang commercial model”
“She’s actually a doctor.”

“Talaga?!” she’s now facing a stunned Jhoanna. She still doesn’t know how to react in front
of Nic– Colet.

“T-tama. Doktor talaga ako.”

“Hmm, siguro nakita na nga kita minsan time pag bumibisita ako sa ospital. Medyo familiar
ka eh pero sure naman akong hindi pa tayo nagkikita dati.”

That struck a chord in her heart.

Panic can be seen in her eyes, and Aiah didn’t miss it.

She stood up abruptly, beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

“Ano– Sorry, may medical emergency lang. I need to go…”

“Hala! Sana hindi ganung kalala…” Colet answered worriedly, not seeing the lie behind her
words.

Aiah isn’t blind, or dumb. She knew there wasn't an emergency. She knows it has something
to do with Colet. She figured as much.

“Okay, Jhoanna. Thanks for the company. Drive safe.” The doctor just gave a small bow and
an unsure smile before exiting the shop.
“Hirap siguro maging doktor, no?” Colet’s words brought Aiah’s attention back to her.

“Yeah, it’s hard.”

“Hindi ako sure, pero parang may naaalala akong may kakilala ako once na hindi s'ya
makapag decide kung mag culinary ba s'ya or mag med s'ya. Ano na kaya nangyari sa kanya
ngayon?” Colet was just speaking absentmindedly that even Aiah looked at her curiously.
The plot seems really familiar somehow.

Colet seems to snap out of her blabbering.

“Shet, eto na naman ako.”

“Huh?”

“May times kasi na bigla nalang akong may nasasabi na akala ko, memory ko s'ya pero
biglang hindi naman pala. Sabi ng psychologist ko, baka raw may narerecall akong mga
trivial things pero hindi ibig sabihin ay accurate lahat ng naaalala ko.”

“So you know someone who’s either a chef now or a doctor?”

“‘Di ko rin sure. Baka kamag-anak ko. Or baka nga mamaya, ako pala talaga 'yon. Sobrang
gulo mg mga memorya ko kaya sa totoo lang, wala akong tiwala sa mga naaalala ko.” Aiah
can see the downcast expression on the model’s face. She actually felt bad for her.

“You know what? I’ll treat you to lunch. Basta ngiti ka lang ulit, okay?;”

Colet had to smile at that.

—

JHOANNA’S POV:

Ano ‘yon?

Tangina, ano ‘yon?

I can’t believe she’s really alive, and I actually saw her in the flesh.

But that’s the thing. I only saw her in the flesh but not right in the soul.

She’s not the person I used to know.

What happened, Nicole? Where are you? Who are you, Colet?

As promised to Doc Jea, I drove back to my apartment. I’m just so thankful I didn’t get into
any accident despite losing focus from time to time.
I’m still stunned by the events from earlier. It’s really her, but not her, her. This is fucking me
up.

I checked my watch. It’s only past 12 noon. A lot of time for me to laze around.

I went to my contacts and dialed someone.

“Hello? Jho?”

“Ate, Busy ka?”

“Madalang pa naman customers. Bakit?”

“Pwede ba kita puntahan? Ayain ko rin si ate Gwen.”

I heard the person on the other line give a low hum. “Hmm, may nangyari ba?”

Am I that obvious?

I gave off a laugh, “Ha? ‘Di ba pwedeng miss ko lang kayo?”

“Jho, it’s the middle of the week. Hindi ka basta basta nag-aaya nang walang dahilan. You’re
a very busy person. At alam mo naman kung saan ako nagwowork”

Who am I even kidding? These people know me better than myself.

I just gave out a sigh. No use beating around the bush. “Fine. Kwento ko later.”
“Good. I’ll reserve a private room for us. Tawagan ko na rin si Gwenny.”

“Sige. Thanks, ate!”

“Don’t thank me yet. May utang ka pang kwento, okay?”

“Sure! Punta ako mga around 4 pm or so.”

“Wala ka bang shift?”

“Wala naman. Naka leave ako ngayon. Actually, pinag leave ako sapilitan ngayon.
Mamahinga raw ako.”

“Good for you, then. Need mo yan. So, see you later?”

“Yep. Thanks!”

We ended the call soon. Guess I’ll have a story-telling to tell later. I just hope alcohol won’t
get me first.

---

4:00 pm
I decided to take a cab instead, knowing that bringing my car would be useless later on.

As I entered the bar, I heard a cheerful voice calling my name from the staff room.

“Jhooo!”

“Ate Shar! It’s been a while.” I greeted back, giving her a hug.

“Actually, mas masaya akong hindi kita masyado nakikita dito. Saka ka lang kaya nag-aaya
dito sa bar pag problemado ka.”

“Andito na ba si ate Gwen?”

“She’s on her way. Siguro mga around 20 minutes. Tara na muna sa room.”

True to her words, she really booked a VIP room just for us. Ate Shar really goes all-out for
her friends.

“In fairness, na-miss ko ‘tong lugar na ‘to. Ngayon kasi, sa apartment lang ako nakakainom
eh.”

“Ang lungkot mo naman. Labas labas ka rin kasi minsan.”

“Tinatry ko naman eh. Pakisabihan nga si kamatayan na mag chill naman muna kahit
minsan.”
That got us laughing. Well, I really wish I had a choice of tasks in my job.

“Dito ka muna. Kunin ko lang drinks. May dalang food daw si Gwen.”

“Sure.”

After ate Shar left, I was left in silence. At least this gives me time to think.

How am I gonna explain it to them? How are they gonna react? They’ve seen me in my worst
state. And now, the reason for that is back.

A few minutes felt like seconds when I heard them return, now with ate Gwen in tow. They
must’ve met outside.

“Okay, Jho. Dito na ‘ko. Kwento na.” Wow, she hadn't even sat when she told me that. These
two will really squeeze me for answers.

Every one of us is now settled down at the table, feasting on the food ate Gwen brought. We
started with light drinks just to loosen up a bit.

“So, Jho,” ate Gwen asked while munching on a piece of chicken wing, “ba’t nga ba tayo
andito ngayon? Alam kong hindi lang ito basta ‘coz I just miss you guys that’s all’ kineso mo.
We know you too well.”

“Told her the same thing kanina,” ate Shar seconded.

Guess I have no option to beat around the bush now.

I drank a large portion of my beer first before looking back at them. God, that’s refreshing.

“I’m sure naman tanda n'yo pa rin 'yung dahilan bakit super broken ako dati,” I started. Okay,
that wasn’t pretty subtle.

“Who in their right mind would forget about her?” I can see ate Gwen laughing lightly. She’s
right though. After witnessing me break down in front of them almost every day for months,
they’d surely never forget her.

“I agree. Sino nga bang makakalimot sa kanya, di 'ba? Pero nakakatawa nga eh. S'ya mismo
ang nakalimot sa sarili n'ya.”

I can see stunned and puzzled faces from the two.

“Ha? Sinasabi mo?” ate Shar asked, still confused.

“Exactly as how it sounded. Nakalimutan n'ya sarili n'ya.”

“No, wait. I mean– di 'ba, patay na s'ya?!” This time, ate Gwen totally dropped the chicken
part she was previously eating. She’s too stunned to eat.

“Imagine kung anong itsura ko nung nakita ko s'ya.” Just remembering it gives me a
headache already.

“Paano– kailan– shet, ‘di ko na alam itatanong ko.”

“Actually, nakita ko na photos n'ya sa laptop ni Aiah. Sabi n'ya, model daw s'ya sa agency
nila. Her name’s Colet.”

“So andito s'ya? Sa Manila?”

“Kahit gaano ka imposible pakinggan pero yes, andito s'ya, alive and well.”

I gave them time to absorb whatever I told them. This must be surprising for them both.

“Kanina rin pala, hinatid ko si Aiah sa workplace n'ya. Nag brunch lang muna kami saglit.
Hulaan n'yo kung sinong biglang pumasok sa café?”

“So you’re saying nagkita na kayo kaninang umaga?” ate Shar inquired.

I just gave a nod.

“Wait, sino ulit si Aiah?” ate Shar asked, completely lost. Right. She hasn’t met her yet.

“Friend ni Jho from the hospital,” ate Gwen answered on my behalf.

“Okay. So you met this morning, tapos?”

“What?” I asked back.

“What happened? She definitely saw you, right?”

“Nothing happened. Well, except for me faking a hospital emergency para makatakas ako.”
I heard ate Gwen giggle at that. “Nakakaloka. That’s so cliché and overused. At naniwala
naman sila?”

“Colet did. I’m sure napansin ni Aiah na excuse ko lang 'yon. Hindi s'ya nagtanong about it.”

“So, alam nitong Aiah 'yung tungkol kay Nicole?”

“Hindi. Pero kasi, nung una kong nakita photo n'ya sa laptop ni Aiah, medyo nag relapse ako.
So feeling ko naman, gets n'yang may something samin ni Colet. Buti nalang talaga hindi na
s'ya masyadong nagtanong kanina. I think nabasa naman n'ya sitwasyon.”

“Ooh, I like this girl. Smart and clever s'ya.”

“Tru dai. Napakaganda pa,” ate Gwen chimed in.

“I’ll bring her over sometime.”

“Asahan ko yan, ha? Pero balik tayo sa topic. Sa mga nakwento mo, is it safe to assume na
hindi ka naaalala ni Nicole- ay Colet na nga pala.”

“Yun lang naman pwedeng explanation eh. Parang namention n'ya na regularly s'yang may
therapy with her psychologist. So akala n'ya, nakita lang n'ya ako sa hospital kaya medyo
familiar ako sa kanya.”

Ate Gwen only nodded, "Yep. Totally screams memory loss."

We didn't notice the amount of alcohol we’ve already consumed. The next thing I know, the
room was already spinning, and everything felt painful.
I have a lot of questions in my head. Questions that I know are impossible to answer because,
for some unfortunate coincidence, the only person who could answer me right now doesn’t
remember a thing.

The gods must have forsaken me for disrupting the natural process of human birth and death,
huh?

"Tangina, I'm seriously lost. What the hell happened to her? Last time I checked, nasa
Singapore s'ya. Heck, she died in Singapore! Or supposed to be, anyway. What the heck was
Bohol? Saan nanggaling 'yon? Ba’t s'ya andito?" I’m practically rambling at this point. I
know I’m just wasting my breath voicing it out but I need to let this out. It’s suffocating me.

Alcohol is also taking full effect, I can feel it. Or rather, I’m starting to feel nothing. I’m
getting numb.

“Tangina, nakinig nalang sana ako kay Aiah at dumeretso pauwi. Tangina ko rin eh.”

"Woah, hinga, Jho. You're agitated."

I tried to control my emotions. Ate’s right. I’m getting all riled up. Guess everything’s just
sinking in right now.

“Alam mo 'yung feeling na… you thought you’ve finally rebuilt those broken pieces inside of
you, tapos may bigla nalang darating para wasakin ito ulit? Ganyang-ganyan pakiramdam ko
ngayon. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung dapat ba akong matuwa na buhay s'ya or hindi eh.” I’ve
tried so hard, all those years. My friends can only do much. Doc Jea, ate Gwen, ate Shar…
They’ve done more than enough to help me but this is something that’s personal. This is
something that I had to do for myself.

And I thought I’d rebuilt myself after crashing down. I thought my heart was well-protected.
I guess the wall isn’t strong enough.
 “Sobrang gulong gulo na ako ngayon, wala na akong magawa kundi umiyak.” I can feel the
back of my eyes stinging, and a lump forming inside my throat. I can’t believe I’ll be crying
over you again, Nicole.

Instead of words, I felt two pairs of arms around me protectively. I can feel myself trembling
against them. These friends of mine, what would I do without them?

I guess it’s alright to cry for you once again. Right, Nicole?

##

Chapter End Notes

Ayan na, malapit na ma-reveal sino ba talaga si Colet sa buhay ni Jho (abang abang mga
Jholetlawans dyan hahaha)
 We're Bestfriends! What could go wrong?
Chapter Summary

Jhoanna and Nicole started college; how their friendship strived; denials & self-
realizations

Chapter Notes

Isang mahaba-habang flashback 1/2 (tawid ship muna tayo for a moment mga ka-
lewsers)
(almost 10k words so brace yourselves)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

WE'RE BESTFRIENDS! WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Flashback...

2010

Sixteen-year-old Jhoanna has always been curious about a lot of things. Being at the age of
peak curiosity, now that she’s capable of being somewhat independent, she’s more than brave
to try out anything she sets her mind to.

And for someone who’s really capable of doing anything she desires, this poses a huge
problem for her.
“So, sa tingin mo? Med or Culinary?” she asked her friend of eight years, Nicole Vergara.

“Syempre, kung ako yan, e 'di med school na. Alam mo namang doktor din tatay ko, di 'ba?”
the slightly smaller girl stated.

“Galing kaya ni tito! Lods ko yun eh. Narinig ko somewhere, maraming VIP patients
nagrerequest sa kanya.”

“Imagine, one day, makikita mo nalang yung name plate sa desk ko, ‘Dr. Nicolette Vergara.
Shucks, sarap sa eyes.”

“Bagay naman talaga sa’yo,” Jhoanna grinned, but then it faltered after remembering
something. “Pero alam mo? Dream ko talaga makapag open ng sarili kong resto. Tanda mo
yung garlic butter roast chicken recipe ni mama?”

Nicole’s eyes shine in delight. She can never forget the taste of that dish. “Hala namimiss ko
na luto ni tita! Sobrang favorite ko yun,” she says in exaggeration.

“Guess what?” Jhoanna asked with a smug on her face.

“Ano?”

“Naperfect ko na yung recipe. Medyo nag experiment ako and ayun, inggit si mama, mas
masarap daw yung ginawa ko.”

Nicole just hit Jhoanna’s arms lightly. “Sus, napakayabang talaga. Ako pa rin makakapagsabi
kung totoo o fake news ka.”

“Punta ka sa weekend. Ipagluluto kita tapos i-judge mo.”

Nicole thinks for a bit, wanting to tease the other girl. “Hmmm, sabagay, pwede ko naman
tawagan si papa kung ma food poison man ako.”

“HOY!”

Nicole just ended up laughing out loud. Seeing Jhoanna’s pouty face is really one of her
enjoyments. She couldn’t resist this cutie in front of her so she reached out and pinched her
cheek.

“Aray namaaan!”

"Kainis, lakas magpa-cute. Kakagigil ka." Nicole just laughed.

Jhoanna can't help but blush at the sudden compliment. "Pwede mo namang sabihing cute
ako nang hindi nangungurot."

Nicole only stuck her tongue out, making Jhoanna roll her eyes, but smile nonetheless.

She can only let Nicole do as she pleases.

---

Weekend came and as planned, Nicole is now standing in front of Jhoanna's house with a
weekend bag in tow.
"Jho?" She called out while ringing the doorbell.

The door suddenly opened, revealing an older version of her friend.

"Nicolette! Buti’t napadalaw ka," Mrs. Robles let the woman in before engulfing her with a
hug.

Nicole hugged the elder back, "Kamusta po kayo, tita? Sana hindi po ako nakakaabala."

"Sus! Welcome na welcome ka rito anytime."

Both women headed towards the kitchen, finding a busy Jhoanna cleaning off a whole
chicken in the sink.

"Nak, andito na si Nicolette."

Upon hearing the name, she practically left the whole meat and jumped towards the duo.

"Buti naman sumipot ka!"

"Syempre naman! Excited kaya ako dun sa lulutuin mo. May narinig kasi ako na sabi, mas
masarap daw yung luto n'ya eh," she then looked at Mrs. Robles with a smirk, "di 'ba, tita?
May sinasabi yung isa rito na mas masarap daw recipe n'ya kesa sa inyo."

Mrs. Robles rides on to the teasing. "Hm, since nabanggit mo, what if hayaan ko na lahat ng
kitchen duties sa kanya? Since mas masarap naman s'yang magluto kesa sa’kin. Tingin mo?"
"Ay, tita, perpek yan!"

Nicole was trying to hold her laughter all this time while watching Jhoanna's contorted face.

"Ma naman ehhhh! Nagjojoke lang eh. Ikaw pa rin ang reyna ng kusina." Jhoanna wined with
a pout on her face.

Mrs. Robles just messed her hair before laughing it off. "Itong batang ‘to talaga," she then
faced the both of them.

"Actually, paalis kami ng papa mo for a business trip ngayong weekend kaya talagang ikaw
muna ang bahala sa kusina. Okay, nak? Pinag-off ko na rin muna si manang this weekend
kaya ikaw muna bahala. Okay lang?" Manang is their long time house helper. They've treated
her like family ever since. She also sometimes teaches Jhoanna some dishes whenever they
have free time.

"Onaman, ma. Para rin makapahinga si manang."

Right then, they heard a familiar honk of a car. "And that's my cue. ‘Wag kayong pasaway,
ha? Tawag kayo kung may mangyari man."

"Sige po, ma! Ingat kayo ni papa."

"Bye, tita! Ingat po kayo!"

The elder woman gave both of them kisses before heading out.
Once alone, Nicole faced Jhoanna again. "Okay, nasan na yung dish na niyayabang mo
sa’kin?"

Jhoanna just laughed before grabbing the whole, raw chicken from the sink, playing with its
wings. "Oh eto, manok pa rin. Masyado kang excited sa luto ko, ha. Nakakahalata na ako,
Nicolette Vergara."

"’Teh, gutom ako. Hindi pa ako nag-aalmusal. Malamang aabangan ko yan."

Jhoanna began preparing the ingredients. "Wow, talagang nagpagutom ka para rito. I'm
actually honored."

"Aba, dapat lang! Pag yan, ‘di masarap, bahala ka mag-isa rito mamayang gabi."

"Hoy, baka nakakalimutan mong nagsubmit akong application sa culinary ng Benilde at

CCA. Ganun ako ka-confident."

CCA, or Center for Culinary Arts, is one of the well-known culinary schools in the
Philippines. It's not really set in stone yet what she'll take in college, but there's no harm in
trying out in different schools, both for med courses and culinary courses.

"Onga pala, noh? One month nalang para makapag decide."

Nicole decided to help Jhoanna prepare the ingredients, chopping off the garlic while
Jhoanna busied herself with the marinated mix.

"Eh ikaw? Though sure naman mag med ka talaga."

Nicole paused for a bit, thinking to herself.

"Hmm, pero alam mo? Sa totoo lang, nakaka-intimidate din pala, no?"

Jhoanna looked at her companion, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, oo, gusto ko talaga maging doktor. Pero sure ba akong kakayanin ko? Tsaka ano,
nakakahiya rin para sa tatay ko like, imagine mo, pumalpak ako as a doctor tapos syempre,
kilalang doktor yung tatay ko so baka mamaya, makarinig kami ng ‘ay di’ba anak yan ni doc
Vergara? Bakit ganyan?’ mga ganun ba."

Suddenly, Jhoanna let go of the fork she's been holding, facing her friend instead. She held
her by her shoulders, looking at her directly in the eyes. "Nicolette Vergara, nakita kita kung
papaano mag excel sa klase. Nakita ko kung paano ka magsunog ng kilay gabi-gabi kahit pa
inaabot ka ng umaga para sure na may maisasagot sa sa exams and recitation. Hindi ka
nagpuyat ng ilang gabi pagrereview para sa medical entrance exam para lang sabihin mong
baka hindi mo kaya. Kaya please, ‘wag mong maliitin sarili mo. Sure akong matutuwa sobra
si tito pag pinush mo yang pangarap mo. And I will be very happy to watch you fulfill your
dream. Kuha mo?"

It took a while for Nicole to actually respond. Hearing those words from her best friend
actually stirred something inside of her.

Instead of a verbal response, she suddenly engulfed the older to a tight hug.

"’Yan, ganyan ka. Kuhang kuha mo ako sa mga salita mo. Nakakainis, lakas magpaiyak."

Jhoanna just laughed, patting her best friend's back. "Ikaw kasi eh. Syempre kailangan kitang
i-peptalk. You’re welcome."

They soon let go of the hug, creating an awkward atmosphere between them. It's not usual for
them to be this expressive towards each other.

Nicole cleared her throat. "Gutom na’ko. Bilisan na natin."

"Right."

---

It was only past seven when they both decided to laze around Jhoanna’s room, knowing that
there was nothing else to do at the moment.

Jhoanna reached for something on her dresser before returning to her bed, sitting in front of
Nicole.

“So, dumating ‘tong mga ‘to kaninang umaga. And, 'di ko sure kung paano gagawin ko.”

Nicole looked at the two white envelopes placed in front of her.

“Ano yan?”

“Sabihin ko mamaya. Pero sa ngayon, pili ka muna.”

Nicole was skeptical but complied anyway. She puts her hand on the left envelope, not
having any clue as to what it is.

“Final answer?” Jhoanna asked again.

“Wala rin naman akong idea kung anong nasa loob eh.”

“Hmm, fair point.”

With that, Jhoanna retrieved the untouched envelope and hid it back inside her drawer. She
grabbed the other one and waved it in front of her friend.

“Ano ba kasi yan?” Nicole asked in anticipation and irritation, annoyed at how Jhoanna’s
been beating around the bush.

“Itong envelope na ito,” she said as she tore open the envelope, “ay naglalaman ng
acceptance letter at full scholarship offer sa Center for Culinary Arts lang naman.”

The smug on her face is back and Nicole can’t help but laugh at it, too used by now.

“GAGI SERYOSO BA?!”

“Ano? Kala mo ‘di ako matatanggap? Di ’ba muntik ka pang maiyak nung first time mo
matikman luto ko? Sabi mo pa nga, asawahin mo na ako eh.”

This got Nicole more embarrassed, causing her to hit Jhoanna jokingly. “Tangina mo rin
minsan eh, alam mo yun? Wala nang balikan.”

"Bibig mo, Nicole Vergara."

"Ay, sorry. Nadala lang ng emosyon. Ikaw kasi eh, bakit may pagthrowback? Nandidiri tuloy
ako sa sinabi ko."
Jhoanna can only roll her eyes, “Sus, kung alam ko lang, baka nga mamaya lagi mo sinusulat
sa journal mo na crush na crush mo ‘ko eh.”

Nicole made a gagging sound, earning laughter from the other.

“Napakakapal talaga ng mukha ng isang Jhoanna Robles. Pero teka, ano yung isang
envelope?”

“Ah basta, sa’kin nalang ‘yon.”

As much as Nicole was really curious, she just kept it to herself. She knows she won’t get
any answers from Jhoanna anyway.

“So, talagang culinary na napili mo?” Nicole said as she read the letter from the said school.
It says that they’re offering Jhoanna a full scholarship for the whole four years of the
program. They’re also congratulating her for an outstanding result on the admission exam.

Of course, Jhoanna didn’t miss the tone of Nicole’s voice.

“I guess? I mean, pangaran ko rin naman s'ya talaga. Plus, napakalaking tipid para kina mama
since full scholar ako.”

Nicole put down the letter and faced forward, looking away from Jhoanna. “Sure naman
akong kakayanin mo yan. Ang galing mo kaya. Masarap talaga makita pag yung mga taong
nakapaligid sa’yo, nafufulfill yung pangarap nila, no?”

Out of the blue, Jhoanna suddenly gave Nicole a side hug. “Kaya ikaw din, ‘wag ka na rin
masyado mag-alala sa med school, okay? Ikaw na rin naman nagsabi. Ako rin sobrang
matutuwa pag pinush mo yang pangarap mo.”
The slightly smaller woman jokingly pushed Jhoanna away, “napakaclingy mo ngayon, kadiri
ka. Ano na namang ginawa mo?”

“Hoy grabe! Porke clingy, may nagawa na agad?!” the other said with her most exaggerated
expression, which earned her a pillow on her face.

“Anyways, anong episode na natin sa Grey’s anatomy?”

---

A month later, University of Sto. Tomas

Nicole was nervous, no, she was about to break down and wanted to run back to her house
badly. First days of school are never her favorite days. And that intensified now that she’s all
alone. Jhoanna’s not beside her anymore to calm her, unlike the past years.

She’s holding her copy of her schedule, looking for the classroom for her first subject. The
campus is huge and she only feels smaller because of it. But on the other side, she’s proud
because her father once walked around this campus like how she is now.
Upon entering the classroom, she noticed only a few blank seats were available at the back
end of the room. She observed that some people are already friends with others, something
she’s actually envious of.

Grabbing a seat, she settled her things beside her and grabbed her phone.

[Ang lungkot dito. Wala akong kilala] - Nicole

[Musta first day mo dyan sa CCA? For sure may friends ka na. Makapal mukha mo eh.] -
Nicole

As soon as she sent those, her professor entered the room, marking the official start of her
college life.

It was already the end of her last subject when she received a reply from her best friend.

[SHET SORRY ‘DI KITA NAREPLYAN HUHU Dami kong inasikaso sa admission ko
kanina T_T] - Jhoanna

[‘Wag ka masyado paka-stress! Mukha ka lang mataray pero mataray ka naman talaga
ahahaha charing! Malay mo, mas maging okay mga susunod na araw mo :)] - Jhoanna
She can’t help but laugh. She can totally hear Jhoanna’s pleading voice while reading her
apology.

She smiled as she kept her phone in her pocket. Maybe Jhoanna’s right. She can’t depend on
her best friend forever, especially now that they decided to take on different paths. But
whatever happens, she’s sure that they’ll be there for each other whenever they need
someone.

---

2nd day of college, UST

Just like the first day, Nicole isn’t really looking forward to anything. The most that could
probably happen today is to learn that she’ll have a terror professor in one of her subjects.

As she sat on the same seat as yesterday, she looked around, noting how her classmates
seemed to be the same set of people. And just like yesterday, the chair beside her is empty.

Soon, they saw someone who seemed to be their professor walking to their classroom but
was stopped by someone who approached him midway.

“Jusko, sana lang walang surprise recit na naman parang kahapon,” she heard one of her
classmates say.
Right on cue, the said professor entered the room, greeting the class a good morning while
writing down his name on the whiteboard.

Nicole was so focused on the front that she didn’t notice someone entering the back door and
occupying the seat beside her.

“Hi, is this seat taken?” she heard an oddly familiar voice from the side, too familiar.

As soon as she looked sideways, her eyes popped open. Good thing that she was able to
cover her mouth or else, she might steal all the attention of the people around her.

“Gagi? What the fuck, Jho?!” Nicole whispered harshly. The last time she remembers,
Jhoanna’s attending a school about an hour away from where she was.

“Surprise?” Jhoanna could only chuckle at Nicole’s reaction. She expected as much.

“Pero-”

“Explain ko mamayang breaktime, okay?”

And comes the break time that Nicole is really anticipating. She has a lot to ask and she’s
really confused as to why Jhoanna’s suddenly here, in UST.

“Okay, ulitin ko lang since nabitin reaction ko kanina. Pero what the fuck, Jho?!” Nicole said,
now with much more emotion than her reaction earlier during class.
“Yeah, medyo last-minute decision s'ya. Kaya rin sobrang busy ko kahapon.”

“Pero paano…” Instead of a verbal answer, Jhoanna fetched something from her bag.
Nicole’s eyes followed her hand, only to land on a very familiar white envelope she was sure
she had seen before.

“Tanda mo yung isa pang envelope?” she asked and Nicole nodded. Of course, how could she
forget? She was really curious about that.

And now she thinks she figured it out.

“Laman non yung admission letter ko dito sa UST. Nagpasa rin ako dito pero wala lang ako
pinagsabihan since baka ma-jinx s'ya. Pero ‘di ko inexpect na blockmates pala tayo.”

“Pero kala ko, sa CCA ka na? Full scholarship yun, Jho.”

Jhoanna just shrugged her shoulders, much to Nicole’s chagrin.

“Sabi mo, nalulungkot ka dito eh. Eh ‘di ngayon, bawal ka nang malungkot. Hello, andito na
yung crush mo, malulungkot ka pa ba? Aba naman ang kapal ng mukha mo. Tsaka ‘wag kang
pa-petiks petiks ha, babantayan talaga kita.”

Nicole could only roll her eyes but smiled nevertheless. She knows Jhoanna’s only joking
with her but still, her heart flutters knowing that her best friend would be by her side
fulfilling their dreams together.

“Hay nako.”
—

Five years later, UST - Med School

Who would’ve thought that exactly five years ago, Jhoanna’s really worried about suddenly
dropping her culinary dreams and enrolling herself in med school the same day class started,
not really knowing what she’s put herself into?

“Tingnan mo nga naman. Nasa harap ko lang naman yung bukod tanging dean’s lister ng
batch natin,” Nicole teased Jhoanna as she entered the classroom. It’s the first day of their
second year in med school.

Yes, Jhoanna may have changed her mind at the very last minute, dropping the culinary
scholarship and changing schools to take a medical program, something even she didn’t
expect that she would do. But all of it was worth it after graduating Magna Cum Laude
during her pre-med program.

“Grabe naman s'ya. Muntik ka na rin kaya.”

Nicole could only roll her eyes, “sana ‘di mo na pinaalala. Piskit na 0.3 lang kulang ko! AT
SA PREVMED PA?! Tama ba ‘yon?”

Jhoanna messed her hair as she sat down on her chair, finding this Nicole adorable right now.

“Malay mo naman, mabawi mo na this year? Tulungan kita.”

---

Nicole and Jhoanna have been going through college, and even medschool together. They
also decided mid-college to just get an apartment nearby and live together. It’s more
convenient and they can do more study sessions together especially now that they’re done
with pre-med and are now taking their medicine program.

Despite not being her first choice, Jhoanna’s doing fairly, no, outstandingly as a med student.
She managed to snatch a full academic scholarship thanks to her being on the dean’s list for
four consecutive years. Nicole’s not too far from Jhoanna academically. Maybe she’s just
(un)lucky with strict professors who don't usually make considerations.

On top of that, Jhoanna took some extra culinary classes during pre-med so she wouldn’t lose
touch with her culinary skills.

And that’s where she met Gwen Apuli and Shar San Pedro, two culinary students whom she
clicked with immediately.

“So, sinasabi mo,” Gwen started as she carefully placed the tray of unbaked goods inside the
oven, “you’re confused?”

Jhoanna slumped on her chair, “‘Di ko talaga alam, ate. Ang weird lang minsan pag kasama
ko s'ya.”

“How weird?” This time, it was Shar’s turn to ask.

“It’s just… never naman ako na-awkward sa kanya eh kaya ‘di ko alam bakit bigla ngayon.
Tsaka napansin ko rin na parang medyo nagiging sweet kami sa isa’t isa.”

This got the two seniors thinking.

“Question, kinakabahan ka ba minsan pag kasama s'ya?” Gwen inquired.

“Hmm, since namention mo ngayon, oo may times na ganun. Lalo na pag ano, yung sobrang
lapit n'ya sa’kin. Medyo magkaka internal panic ako tapos ang awkward for me na.”

“Nagalit ka ba ever sa kanya? Or nainis man?”

Jhoanna paused for a bit before answering. “Well, meron one time. Nung may isa kaming
kaklase, ano nga ulit name nun? Maloi? Forgot her name. Lagi n'ya kasi hinihiram notes ni
Nicole eh kahit naman mataray yun, ‘di naman yun madamot. Ay, lalo na pag si Maloi
nanghihiram. Todo smile pa si ate mo Nicole! Kung alam ko lang, may crush lang yung si
Maloi dito kay Nicole eh kaya laging nanghihiram kahit may sariling notes naman s'ya.”

With that answer, Gwen and Shar looked at each other with a smirk on their faces.

Suddenly, Jhoanna felt an arm around her shoulders. “Alam mo, girl? Parang mas need mo
s'yang i-figure out sa sarili mo.”

“Ha? Bakit naman?” Jhoanna looked at her seniors incredulously.

She just gave her a knowing smile, “Malalaman mo rin yan.”

---

“Jho!” Nicole called from their living room but no answer.

It was already ten in the evening and Nicole just got home after finishing a report with her
group mates in one of her general education subjects. Jhoanna texted her that she’d be going
ahead since she had an upcoming exam the following day and she needed to study.

“Jho?” she called again but no answer.

Walking further, she noticed that Jhoanna’s door was slightly ajar, with light seeping through
the gap.

She approached the room slowly, pushing the door carefully, only to giggle at the sight that
greeted her.

Inside the room is a knocked-out Jhoanna with her head resting over her notes, and her
Microbiology book covering her head.

Nicole grabbed her phone and took a picture of her roommate. She might need that later on.

“Tingnan mo ‘to. Mamaya masakit na naman likod mo.”

Carefully, she lifted the book covering her head and she couldn’t help but adore the sight
before her.
She knows Jhoanna’s generally cute but it’s only recently that she realized that Jhoanna is
gorgeous. Guess puberty hit her pretty well. Plus, her new haircut and some highlights added
a lot to her charms.

Unbeknownst to her, the sleeping woman was regaining consciousness while Nicole was
busy admiring her roommate up close. All of a sudden, Jhoanna jolted up, realizing that she
had fallen asleep while studying, causing them to have their faces only mere centimeters
apart.

Jhoanna was kinda frozen on her spot, looking straight into the deep set of brown eyes in
front of her.

Nicole was no different. The sudden close proximity between them instead halted her
movements, panicking inside about what to do.

It’s actually the first time they observed each other this close. And it stirred something inside
Jhoanna.

Realizing the situation they’re in, Jhoanna decided to back away, which was seriously a
wrong move, and this caused her chair to topple down and she ended up crashing to the floor.

“Hala Jho!”

“Aray…”

“Ayos ka lang?” Nicole asked worriedly as she caressed the back of Jhoanna’s head which hit
her display shelf.

“I’m… I’m fi-aray!”

Nicole checked the other’s head closely, noticing a slightly wet part near a bump.
“Nasugatan ka pa ata. Upo ka sa kama. Kunin ko lang first aid kit.” Jhoanna could only
comply. She lightly touched the painful part and indeed, she was bleeding.

Soon enough, Nicole returned with the first aid kit and immediately tended to Jhoanna’s
wounds.

“‘Wag kang malikot.” she instructed and Jhoanna followed.

It was too quiet between them, and they could hear each other’s breathing.

Jhoanna can also hear her own heartbeat. And it’s beating fast.

She can only move her eyes up, landing on Nicole’s neck since she can’t move her head.

“Sorry. Ang clumsy ko talaga minsan.”

“Sus, kasalanan ko rin na nagulat ka. Gigisingin sana kita eh. Ang panget ng pwesto mo,
sasakit likod mo nyan.”

“Hindi ko rin alam nung nakatulog ako. Plan ko pa naman sana magluto ng dinner natin kaso
ayun nga, nakatulog ako. Sorry, Nicole.”

Nicole can’t help but smile at that.

“Sus, ‘wag mo nang isipin yun. Actually, bumili na akong mga snacks at takeouts para food
natin. Para na rin hindi ka maabala tsaka para may snacks ka incase mag all-nighter ka na
naman. Alam ko kung paano ka pag may exams ka. Para na rin makafocus ka sa pag-aaral.”
“Napaka thoughtful naman talaga nitong si Nicole.”

“Syempre naman. Sino pa bang mag-aalaga sa’yo?”

Once Jhoanna felt Nicole’s hands leave her head, she slowly looked up and met her
roommate eye to eye. She can’t help but give a wide grin as a sign of appreciation.

“Actually…” she closed the book she was once reading earlier, “Need ko na rin ng break.
Medyo sunog na utak ko. Nakita ko, parang may rerun yung latest season ng Grey’s
Anatomy’s. Nood tayo saglit.”

Later that night, after three episodes and a mouthful of Chinese takeouts, Jhoanna noticed
that her roommate was peacefully sleeping while lying on her lap. She carefully lifted her
head so as not to wake the girl up and immediately replaced her with a soft pillow. She then
fixed the fallen blanket on her.

Once satisfied, she observed her best friend and smiled.

Nicole always has this cute serious expression on her face whenever she’s asleep, and
Jhoanna finds it adorable.

She realized that she’d been staring too long. She shakes her head and mutters to herself.

“Need mong mag-aral na ulit, Jhoanna Christine.”

---

“Jho!” she heard her name being called by a very familiar voice from the other end of the
hallway.

“Nicole? Huy, ‘wag kang tumakbo! Anong meron?”

As soon as she reached Jhoanna, Nicole stopped, and with short breaths, she regained her
composure.

“Papaalam lang ako. Baka gabihin ako mamaya. May mga nagpapaturo para sa assignment
natin sa NeuroSci.”

She and Nicole have different NeuroSci classes so she can’t really offer help. “Sino sila?”

“‘Di ko lang sure kung kilala mo sila pero classmates ko sa NeuroSci class ko. Basta message
ako mamaya pag pauwi na ako. Okay lang ba?”

Jhoanna smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. She was actually planning on asking Nicole out
for dinner in their favorite restaurant since she aced her exam. “Sure. Basta message ka, ha?
Tawag ka pag need mo magpasundo.”

“Sige sige. Una na ako.”

That night, Jhoanna’s all alone marathoning a late-night TV show, subtly waiting for her
roommate to return. Not even a text message from her best friend and it’s making her
annoyed and irritated.

“Nasaan na yung babaeng yun? 10pm na, aba.”

Right then, she heard the sound of a car engine from the outside, making a stop in front of
their apartment.

She stood up and took a peek at the window.

Just outside, she saw Nicole laughing at something the driver said as she opened the door for
her. Yes, she recognized the driver, and it was Maloi. This caused her to unconsciously ball
her hands, annoying her ten times more than she was.

She instead returned to the couch, grabbing her snack and channeling her annoyance towards
the poor potato chip snack while completely focusing her attention on the electronic display
in front of her.

The door opened and entered the person ticking her annoyance meter. But being the oblivious
girl that she is, she just strode her way towards the woman wrapped in a blanket and sat
beside her, not really noticing the irritation on the woman’s face.

“Anong oras na,” was the only word that came from her bestfriend's mouth, not moving her
eyes from the television.

“Sorry, Jho. ‘Di ko na napansin oras.”

“Pwede naman kasing mag message o tumawag. Sinundo nalang sana kita,” she reprimanded,
still annoyed at the sight she saw earlier.
“Okay naman na. Nag-offer na rin si Maloi since along the way din naman daw apartment
natin sa kanya.” This information definitely didn’t help Jhoanna one bit.

“But still. Gabing gabi na. Hindi ka dapat nag-iisa.”

“Hindi naman ako nag-iisa. Hinatid nga ako ni Maloi, di 'ba?” Nicole insisted.

Exactly why you shouldn’t go out this late.

“Fine. Next time, pag naulit pa ‘to. Tawagan mo ako. Okay?”

“Pero bakit? Ayoko namang mapagod ka pa magdrive para lang sunduin ako. Baka nag-aaral
ka nun o tulog ka na. Ayoko namang maging pabigat, Jho.”

Jhoanna’s starting to run out of reasons. For one, Nicole’s actually right. It’s not practical for
her to drive and fetch her if one of her friends, Maloi unfortunately, lives on this side of town.

But of course, she’s stubborn and she’s starting to get annoyed at Maloi’s existence.

“Basta. Next time. Okay? Or at least mag message ka naman. Nag-aalala rin naman ako
sa’yo,” she just whispered the last part but Nicole managed to catch it, making her mouth
twitch slightly.

“Parito ka nga,” and just like that, Nicole engulfed the taller woman in one tight hug,
diminishing all annoyance and irritation inside her head.

---
Day by day, Jhoanna’s starting to become more and more irritable. The reason? A certain
classmate named Mary Loi Ricalde and her very lovely housemate and best friend named
Nicole Vergara.

And it didn’t escape Gwen’s eyes. She can see the younger trying to keep her annoyance
inside of her.

“Here,” she then pushed a freshly baked muffin in front of a spaced-out Jhoanna with her
hands on her chin.

“Oh, thanks! Pero para saan?”

“Well, bukod sa may tinatry akong bagong recipe, kitang kita ko rin na upset ka about
something. And don’t even think of denying it. Ilang araw ka nang ganyan.”

“Hindi ah!” she was about to take a bite when a hand stole the muffin from her. “Huy!”

“Sige, deny ka pa. ‘Di mo talaga ‘to matitikman.”

Grumpily, Jhoanna snatched back the poor muffin but finally admitted her honest feelings to
the older.

“Fine. Oo, upset ako sa best friend ko. Happy ka na?”

Gwen only chuckled. “Happy naman akong honest ka na sa feelings mo, pero hindi ako
happy na upset ka. Anong meron kay Nicole?”
She pondered a bit before giving out a sigh. “Lagi na lang s'yang late umuuwi recently.
Kasalanan talaga ‘to nung NeuroSci project nila eh.”

“Tapos?” this time, Shar butts in, knowing that there’s more to the story.

“Well, you remember the girl na nakwento ko before? Yung laging nanghihiram ng notes?”

“Maloi?”

Just the mention of her name irked the younger, which confirmed Gwen and Shar’s suspicion.

“E ‘di ayon. Coincidence nga naman na along the way n'ya yung apartment namin, tapos
magkagroup pa sila dun sa project. So nangyayari, lagi n'yang hinahatid si Nicole sa gabi.”

This time, Shar decided to tease their friend a bit. “Eh di’ba mas okay nga ‘yun? ‘Di ka na
maaabala tapos s'ya, may taga hatid s'ya? I mean, at least, hindi ka na pagod pagdadrive back
and forth para lang sunduin si Nicole. Tsaka hindi mag-isa si Nicole pauwi.”

“Tch. I don’t know. ‘Di ko talaga feel ‘tong si ate mo Maloi.” She’s now angrily chomping on
the muffin, not noticing the giggles the two seniors are holding in.

She’s definitely jealous, Gwen thought, giving a look at Shar to which the latter amazingly
understood.

Yep. Our friend has a little crush on her best friend, confirmed.

“So, hanggang kelan daw ‘tong project nila? Tsaka anong plano mong gawin dun?” that made
Jhoanna stop for a bit.
“I-I don’t know, actually. Baka isipin ni Nicole na ang irrational ko naman pag kinonfront ko
pa s'ya tungkol dun.”

Gwen just shrugged her shoulders. “Well, up to you naman. Pero ingat ingat ka rin sa
nararamdaman mo. Baka mamaya, sumabog ka nalang bigla sa harap n'ya.”

“I’ll try.”

---

Later that afternoon, Jhoanna had a first trial of testing her patience.

For some reasons unknown, Nicole decided that it was a great idea to suddenly invite the girl
into their shared apartment before Maloi even had a chance to protest, much to Jhoanna’s
chagrin.

“‘Di ko naman alam na may bisita tayo?” Jhoanna suddenly asked once she got out of her
room after seeing Nicole and Maloi entering the door.

“Actually, ‘di ko sure kung nag meet na ba kayo formally.” She then looked at Jhoanna
before turning to Maloi.

“Maloi, bestfriend ko pala, si Jhoanna. Friends kami since gradeschool.”

“Jho, si Maloi. Kaklase ko sa NeuroSci. Groupmates din kami madalas.”

What Jhoanna noticed is how respectful and bubbly Maloi actually is. She can’t deny, yes,
she’s pretty charming and she seems like those beauty-and-brains type of person so this
actually gave Jhoanna a reason to be guilty of hating this woman.

She observed their interaction from the kitchen. She can see how Maloi retrieved two thick
books from her bag and gave them to her roommate, possibly the latter owning those.

She’s known her best friend to be wary around new people. So seeing her being this friendly
towards Maloi made her feel… things. Her grip on her cup tightens as she watches those two
in front of her.

Not wanting to watch further, she decided to grab her bowl of food and headed towards her
room.

“I’ll be in my room, Cole,” were the last words she spoke before completely leaving the
scene.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Maloi just watched Jhoanna enter her room, with mild
discomfort on her face.

“Parang hindi naman ako bet ng bestfriend mo.” Maloi gave out an almost pout while looking
down.

“Hay, yaan mo na yung si Jho. Sobrang stressed lang nun lately.”

Maloi smiled understandingly. “Okay lang naman. Gets ko naman s'ya. Nakakapressure din
kaya maging dean’s lister.”

“Salamat sa pag-intindi sa kanya. Yaan mo, kausapin ko rin s'ya soon.”

---

Maloi ended up staying there for another thirty minutes, with them going over one of their
Physics homework, rechecking and reviewing everything. In those thirty minutes, not once
did Jhoanna go out of her room, even if she needed to go to the bathroom.

And Nicole isn’t oblivious. She knows what’s going on inside her best friend’s mind. But
what she doesn’t know is why.

“Salamat ulit sa tulong sa lahat ng activities at assignments, Loi. Sobrang na-appreciate ko

yun.”

Nicole walked her outside towards her parked car, which didn’t escape Jhoanna’s view from
her bedroom window. The grip on her pen unconsciously tightens.

“Wala yun, nukaba. Pero sana, okay lang talaga sa bestfriend mo. Feeling ko tuloy, tinititigan
n'ya buong pagkatao ko sa ngayon,” she said while laughing nervously, not realizing how
close her statement is from what’s actually happening right now.

“Ang OA lang? Mabait yun, si Jho. ‘Di yun nananapak, promise.”

“Alam ko naman yun. ‘Di ko lang sure if okay lang sa kanyang sumasama ako sa’yo.”

Nicole looked at her incredulously. Why would Jhoanna hate her for such a petty reason?
“Bakit naman hindi magiging okay?”

Maloi thinks for a bit, before giving a light smile at her. “Hmm, may hunch ako pero medyo
far-fetched.”

“Ano naman yun?”

Instead of answering, Maloi just smiled. “Sa’kin nalang muna yon. Pag confirmed na, saka
ko sabihin sa’yo.”

She just looked at her, completely lost with what she said. She’s not sure what she even
meant with that.

“Bahala ka nga.”

---

In the following days, Nicole did notice something. Maloi has been a constant person with
them, even outside their shared classes. There are times when they would eat lunch together
with Jhoanna, much to the latter’s annoyance.

She doesn’t seem too bothered, though, despite initially suspecting that Jhoanna might not
have liked her presence around, which confused Nicole. She doesn’t understand what
changed. But she can definitely feel Jhoanna acting different around her the past few days.
Just like today. They’re sitting side by side during lunch but they’re not speaking with each
other.

“Cole?” she called her attention to which she looked at her.

“So, meron akong tickets para sa isang local concert na magaganap mamaya, and ‘di ko rin
sure kung sinong aayain ko since hindi naman s'ya taste ng mga katropa ko. It’s an acoustic
live session. Baka bet mo?” she asked, briefly glancing at the quietest person among them.

“Actually, trip na trip ko nga mga acoustic sessions recently. Plano ko nga yan icheck sana
eh. And mukhang free naman ako since it’s a Friday, anyway.”

“Great! Pwedeng sa’yo na muna ‘tong mga tickets? Kita nalang tayo sa parking bago
pumunta.”

“Sige, sabihan ko lang si–”

“Una na ako. Hinahanap ako ni Ma’am Sabina,” Jhoanna then stood up before gathering all
her belongings and food tray.

“Ah, sige. Kita nalang mamaya?” Nicole smiled. Jhoanna tried to smile back but it obviously
didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yeah, sure. Take care mamaya. Bye.” And off she goes.

Nicole could only watch.

“Tingin mo ba, dahil dun sa concert?” she asked Maloi. Worry laced over her voice. She
noticed that Jhoanna had been aloof to her ever since Maloi started hanging around them.
“I honestly don’t know. Ayoko rin naman mag-assume.”

Nicole just shrugged her shoulders. “Hmm, tara na nga sa klase natin.”

---

Afternoon came and only an hour left before the concert. Maloi’s nowhere to be found.

“Nasan na ba yun? Sabi, mag-intay daw ako sa parking lot.”

From a distance, she saw a figure approaching the area where she was sitting right now.

And she suddenly felt awkward facing her after she walked out during lunch for whatever
reasons unknown.

“Hi,” she waved hesitantly.

“Hi. May inaantay ka?”

“Uh, oo. Ininvite ako ni Maloi kanina, di 'ba?”

Jhoanna only nodded nonchalantly while she fiddled with her car keys. “Oh, oo nga pala.
Enjoy!”

She was about to walk away when Nicole’s phone rang. Jhoanna didn’t know why but she
stopped walking momentarily, waiting for Nicole to answer her phone.

“Hello?”

“Nicole. I’m really sorry.”

“San ka na? Isang oras nalang oh.”

“About that. Hindi ata ako makakapunta. Need ko magtake ng remedial exam sa Pathology
since nabagsak ko yung test.”

“Hala, talaga ba? Sige, uwi nalang ak–”

“Bakit ‘di mo ayain si Jhoanna? Baka pwede s'ya.” She suddenly suggested, a little bit too
fast.

Suddenly, she looked at the figure standing not too far from her, which made the latter look
back at her with curious eyes.

“Hmm, sige. Tanungin ko rin s'ya. Sure ka, ha? Tickets mo ‘to.”

“Oo, ayos na ayos lang! Ako yung nan-injan sa’yo eh so okay na yun. ‘Wag mo nang isipin
pa. Gusto ko rin sana talaga s'ya iinvite kanina kaso dalawa lang tix na hawak ko eh. Try mo
s'yang tanungin. Feeling ko naman mag-eenjoy s'ya dun based sa mga kwento mo about her.
Parang ganun mga tugtugan n'ya eh.”
“Sige sige. Sana pumayag. Thanks, Loi! Good luck sa remedial.”

“Sure! Enjoy!”

After the call, she slowly walked towards her best friend, albeit still awkward with her.

“Jho?”

“Hm?”

“Available ka pa ba?”

Even in a previously sour mood, Jhoanna can’t help but chuckle at Nicole’s words. “Are you
asking me out? Kasi the last time I checked, I’m still single and available.”

Her statement made Nicole realize how she sounded, which made her cheeks burn.

“Uy hindi! I mean, hindi ganon! What I meant is ngayong gabi. Are you free? It’s Friday and
alam kong free ka.” Nicole’s practically rambling right now, cheeks still burning from
Jhoanna’s teasing from earlier.

“Hey, chill. I’m free. Bakit?”

She’s torn whether to tell her that she’s been ditched or not. It’s her pride on the line.

But she ran out of excuses so setting her pride aside, “Fine. Hindi na raw pwede si Maloi so
baka naman pwede mo ‘ko samahan dun sa concert?”
Jhoanna only snorted. “Mag grab ka nalang kung namomroblema ka sa sasakyan mo
papuntang venue. O hatid nalang kita.”

“Ano?”

“Ano?”

They looked at each other, with Nicole looking at her in disbelief.

“Inaaya kitang samahan ako, hindi para ihatid lang ako. Magkaiba yun, Jho.”

“Alam ko naman! Ayoko lang makasira ng moment mo dun.”

“Tch.” Nicole is running out of patience. They only have 40 minutes left and Jhoanna’s not
cooperating.

“Jhoanna, inaaya kitang samahan ako dun. Manonood at mag-eenjoy tayo magkasama. Sa
totoo lang, ikaw naman talaga gusto ko kasama dun eh kaso syempre hindi ko naman ticket
‘to so ‘di naman ako pwede mag-inarte.”

“Eh bakit inaaya mo ako ngayon?”

“Aside from the fact na matagal na kita gusto ayain, sinabi rin naman n'ya na ikaw yayain ko
para magkasama tayo. So ayon, binigay na n'ya yung tickets sa’kin. At lalo tayong malelate
kung hindi pa rin tayo kikilos sa mga oras na ito. So, pwede na ba tayong umalis?”

Jhoanna only rolled her eyes, but Nicole didn’t miss the tiny smile that formed in the corner
of her best friend’s lips. “Fine. Driver mo na naman ako for the da–Oooff!” her words failed
her as Nicole suddenly attacked her with a hug, rendering her speechless.
“Luh, anong nangyayari sa’yo recently? Asan na angas mo?”

“I’m sorry, Jho. Alam ko namang medyo hindi na tayo nakakapagkwentuhan masyado lately
kaya sobrang saya ko lang ngayon na makakapag bonding ulit tayo. Sorry kung
napapabayaan kita from time to time. I just missed you.”

She tightened her hug, practically squishing the taller woman.

“Huy, ano ba? Okay lang yun. May kanya-kanya pa rin naman tayong buhay. Pero totoo
naman. Kung ako lang din tatanungin, mas gusto kong ubusin Friday nights ko kasama ka. I
miss our moments.”

Once they let go of the hug, their stares linger for a bit before they break into a fit of laughter.
They definitely missed this.

“Hay, kailangan na talaga nating umalis kung gusto nating may maabutan pa tayo.”

“Let’s go!”

Meanwhile, in one of the opened windows on the third floor, a pair of eyes watched them as
they drove away from the school parking lot.

“Sana, umabot sila bago magsimula.”

“Loi! Kala ko may lakad ka ngayong hapon?” a guy with a guitar approached her.
“Uy, Maki! Nagbago na isip ko. Tuloy ba kayo sa karaoke mamaya?”

“Yep, namimili lang sila kung saan. Sama ka?”

Maloi smiled, “Naman! Magconcert pa ako dun kung gusto n'yo eh.”

A lot of things had changed after that fateful afternoon. Not really physical, but more of how
things between them go. And as you may have guessed, none of them are really aware of it.

Well, except for three people who are not even involved.

Maloi notices changes in how Jhoanna is around her. She’s not so hostile towards her
anymore.

Gwen and Shar also noticed the shadowing smile that remained on the younger’s face, which
was a total change from the week prior.

And none of them really dared question what in the world happened that shifted the universe.

“So, is it safe to assume na the concert went well?” she asked as she walked side by side with
Nicole. It’s been a week since then and this is the only chance she got to talk to her about it
since they were all busy the past few days.

“Ang ganda lang nung buong concert. Yung vibe, setlist, yung band, yung buong atmosphere.
Ang intimate ng feeling.” Maloi noticed the smile lingering on her face as she told her those.

“Buti nalang talaga, available si Jhoanna nung time na yun. Sobrang sayang naman kung
hindi kayo natuloy.”

“Actually, medyo hesitant pa ako magtanong kasi hindi kami gaano okay bago yon. Pero buti
nalang, pumayag s'ya. Atsaka sobrang thank you pala dun sa tickets. Gusto ko rin talaga s'ya
ayain dati pa kaso lagi kong nakakalimutan bumili hanggang sa na-sold out na s'ya. Nagulat
nga ako na meron kang tickets eh.”

Maloi smiled, happy that her little plan actually worked. She also needed to thank her friend
for giving her those complimentary tickets.

Not too far from them, they spotted an approaching figure.

“Jho!” Nicole called.

“Uy, Cole. Uwi na tayo?” she asked with a beaming smile. “Uy, hi Maloi! Thanks again for
the tickets. The concert was really nice.”

“Glad you liked it!”

“Kamusta pala yung remedial exam mo?” Nicole suddenly asked.

“What?”
“Yung remedial exam mo sa Pathology. Di’ba sabi mo kaya nga hindi ka nakapunta?”

Maloi seems to recall her memories fast, hitting herself mentally, “Ahh! Yung exam. Okay
naman. Mukhang naipasa ko na.”

From her peripheral vision, she could see Jhoanna’s confused face. She almost forgot that
they were in the same class on that subject. So Jhoanna probably knew that there was no
remedial exam, and she never failed any Pathology test.

“Buti naman! Pero Loi, una na kami ah? Kitakits nalang ulit bukas?”

Maloi smiled. “Sure! Ingat kayo.”

Sitting inside her room, Jhoanna has a lot to think about.

First, she knows that Maloi’s lying about that remedial test. So most probably, she
deliberately ditched Nicole that day. For what reason? She doesn’t know. Should she be mad
at her? But it doesn't seem like Maloi has bad intentions towards Nicole.

But she’s thankful nonetheless. It’s one of the best nights she spent with her best friend.

And another thing. Her best friend.

That night, it really felt… weird, in a sense.

She knows that Nicole’s not exactly a clingy person. But that night, she was extra, and by
extra, she meant with back hugs all throughout a song with her chin resting on her shoulders
extra clingy. Not to mention, they were kinda cold with each other prior to that so it’s a real
mystery for her.

But the fact is, she didn’t mind. Not one bit. It should’ve bothered her in a way since it’s her
personal space but she didn’t. In fact, she secretly enjoyed it. She enjoyed feeling the
woman’s presence near her. She enjoyed the embrace she was being given. She felt butterflies
playing inside her guts.

Especially that one song during the last set. Taylor Swift’s Crazier.

It was when she felt Nicole clinging onto her right arm, with their hands clasped together, and
the woman’s head resting on her shoulders.

And it felt really comfortable.

She can’t forget how the fireworks reflected on Nicole’s deep, brown eyes that night, how
lovely she looked, how calming she felt around the woman. And the way they looked into
each other’s eyes as if there was no one around them. It’s the first time she’s actually seeing
her best friend in a way like never before.

And now she’s totally freaking out why she’s feeling this way.

“Shet naman, Jhoanna Robles.”

As much as she’s academically gifted, this isn’t something she can really solve with books
and research papers. So one can basically say that she’s lost.

She opted to ask Gwen’s advice but decided against it at the last minute, afraid that she might
disturb the older.

So she did the next best thing she thought.

She ignored those feelings.

Not noticing that she’s been ignoring more than that.

---

It’s a Sunday afternoon, a rest day for both of them. All tests were done. So, it means more
time for them to chill.

“Jho?” Nicole knocked at the closed door across her room.

“Saglit lang!” she heard Jhoanna’s usually loud voice from the inside.

Once opened, she was greeted by a disheveled Jhoanna, who obviously just got up from her
bed.

“Nangyari sa’yo? Lunch na uy,” Nicole said jokingly.

“Sorry na. Nagbawi lang ako ng tulog.”

They went silent for a moment, with Nicole thinking of the next things to say.
“Gusto mo bang labas nalang tayo? Ikot sana tayo sa mall, or nood sa sine, tapos gala
konti…” as she continues to talk, the more her voice diminishes to silence, but Jhoanna
caught everything clearly.

And then she reminded herself again, ‘Ignore those fluttery feelings.’

“Uhh… okay lang na pass muna? May need lang akong ayusin ngayon eh. Sorry talaga.”

The sadness in her voice convinced Nicole not to push it. She knows how Jhoanna can be
when she sets out to do something. So she knows there’s no chance of convincing this
woman.

“Ah, ganun ba?”

“Oo eh. Na-plan ko na rin gagawin ko so ayon…”

Nicole gave an awkward laugh, “Huy, okay lang, ano ba! ‘Di ko rin naman agad chineck
kung may plano ka eh. Okay lang yun, Jho.”

Jhoanna just gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry ulit. Maybe next time?”

“Sure. Ayain ko nalang sina Loi.”

“Okay, take care!”

And that next time never really came.

---

“Uy, Loi,” she greeted as she saw Maloi by the cafeteria entrance.

“Cole, ikaw lang ulit?” she asked as they walked inside. It’s been some time since they ate
lunch with the missing best friend.

“Nasa lib si Jho, may hinahabol daw na paper eh kaya ‘di ko na rin ginulo. Alam mo naman
yun pagdating sa school works.”

Maloi just raised her brow but didn’t question further.

As they settled themselves in one of the empty tables, she noticed how Nicole huffed, sitting
down with force, obvious tension inside of her.

“Okay ka lang?”

Nicole gave out a sigh, “Ano lang kasi… alam kong hindi na dapat kita idamay dito pero kasi
naman eh...”
“Anong meron?”

She gave out another sigh, a bit too deep, Maloi thought. “It’s about Jhoanna.”

“Oh??? Akala ko goods naman kayo?”

“Yun din akala ko! Tapos, ayun. Parang bigla nalang s'ya palagi busy kahit sa bahay. Jusko,
mas madalas pa nga ata kita makita kesa sa kanya eh. To think na nasa iisang bahay lang
kami? Paano nangyari yun?”

“Nakausap mo na ba s'ya tungkol dun?”

Nicole huffs in frustration, “Syempre, hindi pa. Hindi nga kami magpangabot sa bahay eh.
Para naman akong may sakit kung makaiwas s'ya.”

“That’s… odd?” even Maloi was confused by the sudden turnout of events. She really
thought that after that concert night, the two would be closer than ever but the exact opposite
happened.

“As in. Wala na akong maisip na logical reason bakit s'ya magkakaganun sa’kin. To the point
na nagrereflect na ako lagi kung may nagawa o nasabi ba akong mali sa kanya.”

“Baka naman sadyang busy lang? Babalik din yan sa’yo. Wait mo lang.”

“Sana nga. Miss ko na s'ya.”

Maloi could only smile. She can definitely see the sadness and longing in her eyes.
Jhoanna, what’s up with you?

---

On the other side of the campus, Gwen thinks they’ve been seeing Jhoanna a lot recently.

“Jho?” she called as they were eating waffles in a cafe near campus.

“Yes po?”

“‘Wag mong masamain, ha? Love ka naman namin pero bakit parang ang dalas ka naming
kasama lately?”

“Totoo. Parang ang dalas na kami kasama mo sa mga readings mo kahit wala naman kaming
kinamalayan dyan sa mga medical papers mo.”

Jhoanna looked at them both, knowing full well what they meant.

“Talaga? ‘Di ko na masyadong napansin. Tsaka pinipilit ko makapagbasa pag may free time
ako. Nagkakataon lang siguro na kasama ko kayo pag free ako.”

Shar wanted to believe but she knew better. “Jho, may problema ba kayo ni Nicole? For sure
naman, mas gugustuhin mong s'ya ang kasama mo lalo na sa readings mo. Unless may
problema?”
Jhoanna was about to say something. She was planning on dismissing their accusations but
Gwen beat her to it.

“‘Wag mong sasabihing busy ka lang talaga sa dami ng readings mo. Mas logical kung kayo
yung magkasamang mag-aral since same program and lessons kayo. So, anong problema?”

The look her seniors gave her didn’t give her many options to deny the obvious.

Well, she’s actually pretty obvious, except for Nicole, who’s really clueless at the moment.

“It’s just… paano ba…” she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, putting down the notes she’d
been staring at blankly for the past hour.

“Go on. Gather your thoughts. Marami tayong time.”

Jhoanna could only sigh. Maybe this is a chance that she could ask for some help.

“It’s just… I’ve been feeling things,” she started off, albeit vaguely.

“Anong things? May masakit ba?”

“No, no. Hindi naman ganon,” she shook her head furiously.

“Kakailing mo, mamaya magkakaroon ka talaga ng sakit nyan,” Shar can’t help but laugh at
how distressed Jhoanna is. She can definitely see the young one being bothered by
something.
“So, ano ba kasi yung kinaiistressan mo the past few weeks to the point na samin ka na lagi
nakadikit?”

Jhoanna could only dip her head down. “Ano… parang nag-iinikot sikmura ko pag malapit
s'ya sa’kin.”

“Ano pa?”

She paused for a bit, gathering her thoughts and trying to form a more comprehensive
sentence.

“Never naman ako nakaramdam ng ganito dati. Parang kailan lang eh, nung merong lapit
nang lapit bigla kay Nicole.”

“Ohhh so nung sumulpot si Maloi?” Gwen inquired.

“Hmm, parang oo, nung mga time na yun.”

“And then?”

“Medyo naging aloof kami sa isa’t isa nung time na yun. ‘Di ko rin alam. Basta ayoko s'yang
harapin pag upset ako or something. Ayoko yung baka may bigla akong masabi na
pagsisisihan ko.”

Gwen pretty much remembered that time. It was when Jhoanna was in a sour mood for some
time.

“And then, one Friday lunch, inaya n'ya si Nicole manood ng concert tapos ayun, medyo nag
walk out ako. Alam ko naman, medyo irrational yung ginawa ko pero ayokong makita n'ya
ako na naiirita.”
“Pero nung hapong yun, before pa man mag start yung concert, biglang hindi raw pwede
‘tong si ate mo Maloi. Kaya ending, inaya ako ni Nicole.”

“Then, kayong dalawa na ni Nicole ang magkasamamg nanood,” Shar finished the story for
her.

“Oo, ganun na nga.”

“Hmm, for sure, may something pa yan.”

It’s actually the weirdest, most unexplainable part, and she’s already feeling embarrassed just
thinking about spilling it.

“Di 'ba, kilala n'yo naman si Nicole as nonchalant. Pero nung gabing yon? Sobrang clingy
n'ya bigla. Like, koala-clingy… all touchy and stuff… being sweet and all.”

“...at nagustuhan ko naman yon.”

Now, Gwen and Shar are definitely amused. They kinda expected Jhoanna to deny all that but
here she is, admitting that she actually liked the skinship.

“Eh anong ginawa mo after?”

“Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko eh. So, inignore ko nalang. I mean, baka
mamaya inoover-analyze ko lang pala mga kilos n'ya ‘tas ako naman, binibigyang meaning.
Eh ‘di ayon, medyo umiwas muna ako ng konti.”

If those scenes in cartoons where the side characters fall from their seats so suddenly after the
main character admits to doing something dumb are real, that’s what Gwen and Shar are
probably feeling right now, not believing what Jhoanna has said.

“Ano?!”

“Sa tingin mo, yun ang sagot?”

The two seniors retaliated so fast that Jhoanna suddenly felt scared for a moment.

“Hey, hey. Chill, mga ate. Senysa naman. ‘Di ko lang talaga alam gagawin ko.”

After calming down for a bit, the two looked at each other understandingly.

“‘Di ka naman namin masisisi. Booksmart ka nga pero hindi naman lahat madadaan sa libro.
Hay, totoo nga sabi nila, hindi talaga ibibigay ni Lord sa’yo lahat. Tingnan mo ikaw, matalino
academically, may itsura, pero pagdating sa usapang buhay? Ay s'ya, finish na.”

“Grabe s'ya!”

“Pero aminin mo, Jho, tama naman si Gwen. Baka lalo kayo magkaproblema pag
pinagpatuloy mo yan.”

She just sighed defeat, knowing full well that they might actually be right on this one.

“Hindi ko na talaga alam. Nakakabobo s'ya talaga. Pero takot kasi ako eh. Baka mamaya,
may magbago bigla sa pagkakaibigan namin. I love how we are right now.”

“Kung ayaw mong masira yang pagkakaibigan n'yo, unang-una mong dapat gawin is to
actually stop ignoring her.”
---

And that, she did.

And Nicole was really ecstatic about it. A month of push and pull from her best friend really
scared her. It made her realize just how badly she wanted her presence around her.

“Sarap mong isumpa, Jho. Alam mo ba yon?” she gave the woman her infamous sharp look
after releasing her best friend from a literally breath-taking hug.

Jhoanna could only chuckle. “Asa ka pa, Cole. ‘Di mo magagawa sa’kin yan.”

“Hmm, true naman. ‘Di ko kayang magalit sa’yo.”

She then revealed the paper bag she's been keeping behind her and gave it to her best friend.
“Sorry?”

“Nagsosorry lang, bakit kailangan magpacute?”

She proceeded to open the bag and she couldn't help but gasp when she saw the contents of it.

“Gagi, Jho, seryoso ba ‘to?!” She still couldn't believe what she was seeing. She remembered
mentioning this about once or twice to her best friend but she never thought the woman
 would actually remember. And the best part? She really went out of her way and got it for
her.

The scene actually made her laugh. Who would’ve thought that out of all those sweet
apology scenes they’ve seen from chick-flick romance movies they’ve watched countless
times, with teddy bears and ‘I’m so sorry’ balloons, she’d be given this as an apology gift?
And she was actually, really happy about it.

To be honest, she prefers this to those cliché kinds of stuff from the movies.

“Naalala ko nung sinabi mo na gustong-gusto mo yung The Lost Planet DVD ng Exo tapos
sakto, pumuntang Japan pinsan ko kaya tinanong ko baka may makita s'ya eh sakto namang
fan din s'ya kaya nagpasabay ako. Sana bet mo yang peace offering ko kasi kung hindi, iiyak
talaga ako tas syempre di ko na pwedeng isoli ya–” she wasn’t able to finish her sentence
when she felt those arms around her for the second time that night.

“Daming satsat. Walang isosoli. Mag-aayos ako ng shelf ko para maidisplay ko ‘to. At i-free
up mo na weekend mo. Papanoorin natin ‘to tas marathon tayo ng mga variety shows nila.”

Jhoanna didn’t stop the grin forming on her face. The idea of spending the whole weekend
with her best friend elated her.

And at that moment, after seeing how happy Nicole was, she promised herself to never
ignore the woman in front of her again.

##

Chapter End Notes

Sabi sa inyo, JhoLet AU talaga 'to eh hahahaha charing. So eto, part ng past ni Doc Jho.
Now, may idea na kayo bakit ganun na lang sya ka-affected kay Colet ('Wag nyo
aawayin si Maloi hahaha mabait yan sha)
 When Realization Hits Like a Wrecking Ball
Chapter Summary

When you need your friends to finally realize what you're really feeling; Acceptance and
realizations

Chapter Notes

Flashback 2/2 ng JhoLet (medyo lengthy din)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

WHEN REALIZATION HITS LIKE A WRECKING BALL

Continuation of flashback...

If someone told her before that there would be a point in their friendship where they would
be clueless about each other’s thoughts, she would have laughed at their faces and told them,
“Excuse me? Kilalang-kilala na kaya namin isa’t-isa pati lahat ng baho ng bawat isa, alam
namin.”

And yet, here she is, completely clueless about whatever’s running inside her best friend’s
mind. It’s been like this for days, after their Exo-filled movie marathon weekend.
She’s having some… conflicts inside her head, about what she feels, about what she thinks.
And now, Nicole’s actions don't really help her situation. She’s also afraid of whatever she’s
thinking right now, that maybe she’s just reading into things. Or maybe this is normal
considering how long they’ve been friends.

“Jho,”

But she’s not that oblivious. She knows she’s starting to feel different towards her best friend.
But there’s a problem. She doesn’t know what the other feels.

“Jhoanna,”

Will she be able to hold it in? Well, there’s no other way to find out anyway than to accept the
fact that she’s feeling this way.

“Jhoanna Robles!” That brought her back from her thoughts.

“Y-yes?”

“Kanina pa kita tinatawag. Nakatanga ka lang dyan. Nangyayari sa’yo?" Nicole asked with a
concern-filled voice. They’re currently in the library finishing their papers.

“Hala, sorry. ‘Di ko napansin.”

Suddenly, without warning, Nicole stood up from her seat in front of Jhoanna and settled
herself beside the girl instead. Jhoanna just hopes Nicole doesn’t notice her breaking down
inside her head, or else, she might make the girl worry more.

"Ayos ka lang ba talaga? Ilang araw ka nang lutang. Tapos naman na nga exams so may iba
kang iniisip. Gusto mong pag-usapan?"
She looked at the woman beside her. Indeed, her eyes are overflowing with concern and she's
already feeling guilty about it. But of course, she can't really talk to her about it because it is
about her.

"Uy, okay lang ako. Nag ooverthink lang ako siguro nung ibang upcoming projecs. I'll be
fine," she gave out a forced smile which didn't go unnoticed by Nicole.

But seeing that her friend wouldn't spill, she decided to let go of the topic. She also noticed
how tense Jhoanna had become the moment she sat beside her. And that gave her the
impression that whatever Jhoanna's thinking right now, she has something to do with it.

---

"May tanong ako," Jhoanna started as she played with the human anatomy diorama in front
of her. The person she addressed stopped writing momentarily and looked at her project
partner.

"Shoot."

"Matagal na kayong friends ni Sophia, no?"

"True dai. Kapitbahay ko yun since preschool kami then classmates kami the whole
elementary. Lumipat lang sila nung highschool na pero never naman kami nawalan ng
contact. Kaya we decided na same uni nalang kami for college."
"Ay wow, since preschool? Tagal na non ah."

"Kayo rin ni Nicole, di 'ba? Like, childhood friends, ganon."

“Yes. Actually, magkasama kami sa isang apartment ngayon."

Charice then looked at her fully, completely abandoning her paper on the table. "Pero bakit
parang recently, bihira ko kayo makita magkasama? I mean, mas madalas ko pa makita sila ni
Maloi magkasama eh. Lagi ka nang MIA. Akala ko talaga warla kayo not until nakita ko
kayong magkasama sa lib kahapon."

Now, Jhoanna was taken aback by the question but she managed to hide her surprise,
thankfully.

"We're… Okay. ‘Di nama kami nag-away. Dami ko lang din iniisip recently."

"Care to share? I mean, kung ito yung mga bagay na ‘di mo kayang ishare kay Nicole since
super close kayo, baka it helps na ishare s'ya to someone na hindi mo naman ganun kaclose.
Worked for me before." Charice tried to urge Jhoanna, seeing that she was definitely
distracted by something. She kinda knows how Jhoanna is during class and school activities
so seeing her in this state definitely tells that the girl has a lot of things on her mind.

Jhoanna could only give out a long sigh. For one, maybe Charice is right. Maybe an
outsider's unbiased opinion is what she needs. Two, she knows Charice can definitely help
her figure out one of her problems.

She checked her watch. They still have three hours to spare since it's a lab subject and they
were just left with several activities before their professor left to attend to something.

She looked around first before moving closer to her partner. "Ano lang, daming tumatakbo sa
utak ko recently," she said in a low voice to avoid bothering her other classmates.
"Figured as much. And hula ko, hindi yan school-related, tama?"

"... Right."

Charice laughed lightly, "Girl, ‘di naman kasi mahirap hulaan. Never kang na-stress sa kahit
anong schoolwork. Ngayon lang kita nakitang nagkakaganito, So for sure, hindi na s'ya
kinaya ng pagiging booksmart mo."

"Fine. No, ‘di s'ya school-related."

"Okay, go on."

Jhoanna thought for a while before letting out her next question, afraid that she might offend
the girl somehow if she was wrong.

"May tanong muna ako tungkol sa’yo, actually. Though hindi ko talaga sure if my
assumptions were right or I might have assumed wrong."

“Bakit hindi mo itanong ngayon and sasabihin ko if tumpak ka or wrong info? Don't worry,
‘di ako maooffend."

With those reassuring words, Jhoanna began speaking.

"Are you… You know? I mean, May assumption lang ako from before nung una kitang
nakikita Tsaka naririnig ko rin sa iba mong friends na inaasar ka nila minsan. Kaya tanungin
nalang din kita directly para na rin magka peace of mind na ako."

Charice had to stifle her laughter. She already knows what Jhoanna's trying to ask but she just
wants to see if the woman can ask her directly.
"So, am I what? ‘Di mo naman sinabi eh."

Jhoanna scratched her head. She's right, though. She's been beating around the bush too
much.

"What I'm saying is ano… uhm, rainbow flag ka ba?"

Now, Charice gave a smile. Her friends indeed love to tease her for that jokingly just for the
hell of it. Or maybe it's because of that dare from a party a year ago that ended up with her
needing to choose between a guy and a girl who she would kiss but ultimately choosing the
girl because she just doesn't feel comfortable doing it to a guy she isn't dating. Or maybe it’s
when she can’t shut up about how talented that one contestant is during their talent show–
who turned out to be Jhoanna. Since then, her friends teased her to no end that she had a
crush on the singer.

Well, partly true. But no one has to know that. And also, she has already reserved herself for
someone else.

Jhoanna observes Charice, with her smile getting wider by the second, confirming her initial
thoughts.

"So bading ka talaga?" Jhoanna asked in surprise. She sees the woman as someone feminine
and womanly but of course not to judge the outer appearance but no one would really suspect
her for it with just a glance.

"Actually, bi would be more accurate since before yung current ko, lalaki yung jowa ko."

Jhoanna's still in shock at the new information even if she already has speculations.

But then she realized something from her statement.

"Wait, you mean to tell me may girlfriend ka ngayon?"

Charice was impressed. "Taray, plus points for paying attention. But yes, I have," Jhoanna
was about to speak when Charice beat her, "pero pwede bang ano… sa’tin lang muna s'ya? I
mean, I don't intend to keep it a secret for long naman pero medyo bago palang kasi kami and
nag-aadjust pa rin kami."

Now, this got her thinking. Who could be Charice's girlfriend? She never really saw her close
with another woman in that way except…

"Wait… kayo ni Sophia…?"

Charice just gave a shy nod while hiding her face behind her hands.

So they were best friends and then it came to this…

Jhoanna suddenly has a lot of things to ask. Things that Charice probably already went
through before.

Jhoanna had always thought that two best friends couldn't fall for each other since they
practically knew everything about each other. It might be awkward to some, to bring that
level of closeness and familiarity to a different level. But she really never saw it in another
light, the light she’s actually walking in right now whether she’s aware or not.

“If you don’t mind, kelan mo na-feel na iba na yung nararamdaman mo?” That's one thing
she’s really curious about. Maybe after hearing her answer, she can pinpoint the moment
when she started feeling different.

Charice looked up, trying to recall her memories, “to be honest, hindi ko rin sure eh. Parang,
unti-unti na lang s'ya na-develop, ‘di ko s'ya napapansin until isang araw, sinampal na lang
ako bigla ng realizations ko. Tapos doon ko narealize na matagal ko na pala s'yang
nararamdaman.”

Indeed, Jhoanna knows that stage. And she’s experienced it first hand.

“I mean, pwedeng yung moment na first time n'yo mag sleepover, or baka yung moment
parang unti-unti mo nang naa-appreciate yung mga little things sa kanya like mga quirks n'ya,
ganon, or yung first time n'yo magkatinginan eye to eye. It can be any of those pero ‘di ka
lang aware.”

“Baka kaya pala may times na parang g na g ka gawin ang isang bagay para sa kanya, pero
para sa’yo, kala mo friendly gesture lang s'ya pero hindi ka lang pala aware na may
something na pala.”

Right. How could she forget about her sudden decision to drop her admission and scholarship
at CCA after knowing that her best friend would be lonely? That’s such a drastic move that it
took her a week to fully absorb what she has done.

“Naiirita ka pag may kausap s'yang iba, o ‘di kaya naman gusto mo lang talaga ng attention
n'ya.”

Which explains her irrational irritation against Maloi the first time they met.

“Or pwede ring may mga moments na parang bago sa feeling mo, tas ieenjoy mo lang s'ya.
Tinitingnan mo s'ya nang punong puno ng admiration, or yung may mga bagay na parang
bigla mo lang s'ya maaalala dito. Or yung mga random moments na maaalala mo s'ya sa mga
magagandang nangyayari sa buhay mo na parang ‘uy, magugustuhan n'ya ‘to,’ or ‘sana
kasama ko s'ya dito’. ”

The first thing that came to her mind after that statement was their moment during the local
concert. All things Charice said, it’s like she’s describing whatever she felt that night, it’s
actually scary.
“So yung mga bagay na yon na-feel ko s'ya before so now, here we are." Charice was still
smiling at her own monologue, not noticing the unreadable expression on Jhoanna's face.

She's not that dense, contrary to what other people might have thought. BUT, she's afraid.
You can even say that she's in that denial stage. But it's because she's scared that she might
lose her best friend. Things may fall apart between them if she decides to cross over the
blurred line between friendship and love.

If it's other people, she might just say 'Oh fuck it' and confess right away. But this is her best
friend we're talking about. One wrong move and it'll feel like a part of her will be taken away.
That's how deep their friendship is.

"Jhoanna?" Charice called, breaking her train of thought.

"Huh?"

"I might be wrong pero feeling ko, gets ko na kung bakit ka bothered, " Charice said
carefully.

Charice moved a little bit closer to her, where their faces were literally inches apart. She then
whispered, "You're falling for Nicole, aren’t you?"

Jhoanna wanted to react. She wanted to dismiss it. But is she gonna deny it to the person who
just told her a secret? Also, she realized that there was no point denying it since Charice was
once in the exact situation as she is now.

So she just sat there, frozen. Charice took this as a sign that she's right and just gave a pat on
her back. "It's alright to be lost. Ganyan din naman ako dati. Litong-lito at gulong-gulo. Pero
‘wag mong patagalin yan or else, kakainin ka nyan sa loob. It’s either you let go of it or act
on it."
Jhoanna looked at Charice, “‘Di ka ba takot non? I mean, you’ve been friends for so long,
right? Naisip mo ba na posibleng makasira ito ng friendship n'yo?”

Charice knows exactly what’s running on Jhoanna’s mind. She’s definitely afraid. She
doesn’t wanna ruin their strong friendship. But also, she’s clueless and confused. She has no
idea what her best friend is thinking.

“Syempre naman takot din. Nakakakaba kaya. I mean, it could either break us or make us.
Pero sinubukan ko pa rin naman. Matagal ko talaga pinag-isipan if worth the risk ba s'ya pero
in the end, it's worth it naman.”

With those words, Jhoanna’s somehow coming to terms with her feelings. She’s just glad that
it’s not only her.

---

Meanwhile, in the school gym by the bleachers are two other figures watching the basketball
game practice happening at the said venue.

“Mahilig ka pala sa sports?” Nicole said as she scanned through her notes. Since there’s
nowhere she’s planning to go right now, she just decided to hang out with her other friend
from class.

“Well, to be honest, hindi naman yung basketball talaga pinunta ko dito eh,” the guy only
chuckled lightly.
Nicole raised her eyebrows. What else could they be here for? Other than the men’s
basketball team practicing, the only other people around are the dance team rehearsing on the
stage.

She’s familiar with the said group. They’ve been to multiple competitions representing their
school locally and internationally. That’s how good they are.

“So, pinapanood mo… yung dance troupe?” she asked unsurely.

Instead of a verbal reply, she only received an excited nod.

“‘Di ko akalain na fan ka pala nila, Jao.”

“Hmm, saks lang naman.” Nicole could only laugh at the smiling face of Jao. He seems so
invested in this.

A few more reps of the routine and they heard the leader of the dance team clap her hands,
“Okay guys, that’s a wrap for now! Same time ulit bukas. Okay?”

“Okay!”

Once everyone on stage dispersed, Nicole noticed one figure approaching their direction.
Specifically, the leader was approaching their direction.

She knows the guy. From the school of performing arts, majoring in dance. No wonder he’s
the leader of the club.

“Jao!” she heard from the said guy. Slightly confused, she looked at the person beside her
only to see him immediately stand up. She watched the two run toward each other and
exchange a quick peck, which surprised her. She has no idea about Jao’s love life.
“Ganda ng routine n'yo! Ikaw ba nagbuo nun?”

“Got some help with the members para matapos namin agad.” Jao then snatched the towel
held by the other guy and he wiped the droplets of sweat on his forehead.

“Shower ka na muna. I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Yes po, nay- aray!” he flinched as Jao flicked his forehead.

Amid their banter, the dance troupe leader finally noticed a third person sitting awkwardly
not too far away from them. She also noticed Jao’s bag on the chair beside the woman.

“Oh, hi! Ikaw ba yung friend ni Jao from class? Taneo nga pala.” he gave a full smile to
Nicole. Of course, she knows him. Taneo’s famous around the school.

“Nicole nga pala. Kaklase ni Jao. Kilala naman kita. Famous ka kaya dito sa campus.”

Jao just laughed as Taneo blushed, “Naku, ‘wag mong iparinig yan dyan. Lalaki ulo nyan.”

“Mag shower lang ako very quick. Balikan ko kayo,” Taneo said as he bid goodbye to the
two, running towards the other side of the gym.

Once the dancer was out of sight, Nicole couldn't help but smirk.

“What’s with the smirk?” Jao asked innocently.

“Taneo pala, ha?”

“Well, lowkey lang naman kami. ‘Di rin kami nagdedate around campus since magkaiba
kami ng program. Tsaka girl, ayoko rin ng atensyon. Given na kilala s'ya dito sa campus,
magiging topic lang kami ng mga chikahan dito.“

“Pero kahit na. ‘Di ko inexpect yun ah. Narinig ko lang na may jowa na si Taneo pero ‘di ko
talaga inexpect na ikaw pala yon. Bakla ka ng taon. Paano nangyari? Last time na
nagchikahan tayo, sabi mo single ka?”

This got Nicole thinking. The last time she heard about Jao’s love life, he was still single and
not really looking for a relationship during that moment. But that was during the last month
of their freshman year, so it has been a few months since then. But she never really saw the
two interact except for one time when Jao was introduced to Taneo by a mutual friend, Jaz
after they watched the dance group perform at one of the local events in town.

Instead of an immediate response, she just saw Jao smile. But what struck her the most was
the kind of smile Jao had. It’s a smile so genuine that you’ll feel the love just by looking at
him. Her friend fell hard for sure.

“Things just happen, alam mo yun? People may say na saglit pa lang kami magkakilala pero
that doesn't really define kung gaano ka-strong yung feelings n'yo sa isa't-isa. My iba nga,
sobrang tagal na magkakilala pero unaware pa rin sa feelings nila sa isa't-isa eh. Gets mo
ba?”

Of course, she gets it. She definitely knew what he was saying. Knowing someone their
whole lives, and then suddenly, you’re all lost and confused about what you feel for them?
Yep, she totally gets it.

It has been bothering her, especially now that she barely sees the other person she wanted to
see so badly every day. She’s been confused about her best friend’s actions. Well, she’s even
more confused about why she is bothered by the other’s absence. Besides, they’re supposed
to live their own lives and they should be independent despite living together. But still, she’s
more than bothered that she can barely spend time with her.

“Okay ka lang, Nics?”

Jao noticed the ever-changing expression of his companion. So he knew immediately that
something was going on with her.

“Okay lang ako. Ba't naman magiging hindi?”

“Yung expression mo kasi, nagbabago every second as if you’re narrating some tragic shit sa
utak mo right now.”

Oh, hitting the bull’s eye, Jao Canlas.

“Uy, hindi ah!”

Jao just snorted, “Sige, deny pa. So, anong gumugulo sa mga braincells mo at this moment?”

Nicole just huffs loudly before slumping back into her seat. Jao followed suit. He figured it’s
gonna be quite a talk.

“Ano… Kasi, there's this person. Tagal na naming magkakilala. Sobrang close namin, as in
yung tipong hindi mapaghiwalay, ganun. Well, ganun kami until recently. Pero ‘di ko alam.
Baka naman inoover-analyze ko lang mga bagay bagay. O baka nagiging childish lang ako. I
mean, matanda na kami pareho na may kanya-kanyang responsibilidad kaya wala naman ako
karapatan manduhan s'ya. Though tinatry naman n'yang bumalik ulit yung closeness namin
dati, ‘di ko pa rin alam bakit sobrang bothered ko. Gusto ko lang naman na nararamdaman
s'ya lagi.”

“Funny you mentioned that, kasi parang narinig ko somewhere na ganitong ganito rin
nasstress si Jhoanna. And hindi s'ya about acads”

This took Nicole by surprise. “Paano mo nalamang s'ya sinasabi ko?”

“Duh, it’s a no-brainer naman na, girl. Si Jhoanna lang naman lagi mong kausap at
bukambibig ever since. Plus nalang si Maloi pero friendly naman kasi yun sa lahat. Tsaka
parang unspoken knowledge naman na sa dept natin na super close kayong dalawa. Kaya rin
obvious pag may something sa inyo like hindi nag-iimikan, mga ganun. Para bang, hindi
normal ang mundo pag hindi kayo magkasama, ganung level.”

She never realized that it’s been like that. Well, she never really thought about how other
people might view them.

“Anyways, may ipapakita ako sa’yo,” Jao teasingly said as he fetched his phone from his
pocket.

“So, nanood si Jaz ng concert a while ago, tapos may nakita s'yang something na chika-
worthy.”

As soon as Jao showed Nicole his phone, her eyes immediately went wide and her cheeks
started to heat up.

“Ano-”

“Oh, to be the person na makatanggap ng backhugs na ganito. Ay wait, may Taneo na nga
pala ako, tsaka hindi ako si Jhoanna,” he continued to tease the other girl who’s whole face is
as red as a tomato.

“Piskit, may nakakita pala,” she has her hands over her face in embarrassment, trying to hide
her burning cheeks. As if that stopped Jao from teasing her.

“Tapos tingnan mo sabi ni Jaz,” he then imitated Jaz’ voice, “ ‘Shet, bading. May nakita
akong magjowa dito sobrang sweet and clingy nila, para naman akong sinampal ng pagka
single ko’, tapos mamaya, may follow up message s'ya, ‘ACCLAAAA! si Nicole at Jhoanna
yung nakita ko pala! Nakita ko ulit sila nung tapos na tas narealize ko, sila yung nakita kong
magka backhug. Sila ba or may something?’ ”
Nicole never realized that it looked like that. But she can’t deny the urge to hug Jhoanna at
that moment especially with the songs playing on stage. And let’s not forget those butterflies
bulldozing around her gut that moment she felt Jhoanna lean back against her hug. It felt so
surreal that she had to check secretly if it was really happening.

“Pero serious. Kung hindi ko kayo kilala tapos makikita ko kayong ganun? Ay teh, inggit
pikit talaga ako nun.”

Nicole could only sigh.

“Sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga alam, Jao. I mean, mali bang mag yearn ka for something?
Never ko ‘to inopen sa kahit kanino, lalo na sa kanya. Pero ang hirap, beh. Nahihirapan ako
sa kanya. Sobrang naguguluhan na ako na kahit gustong gusto ko i-ignore yung pananabik ko
sa kanya, bigla naman s'yang may gagawing ikababaliw ko. I mean, alam kong best friends
kami and hindi ko dapat ito iniisip pero may mga times talaga na parang gusto kong hindi
lang yakap yung magawa ko sa kanya. Gusto kong higitan yun.”

“You mean like, kiss her or something?”

She knows what she’s trying to say but hearing it out loud from Jao’s mouth makes her feel
embarrassed further than she is now.

“Oh my god, Jao alam kong sobrang mali para mag-isip ako ng ganyan sa kanya lalo pa't best
friends kami at platonic lang dapat kami pero beh, gulong gulo na ako. ‘Di ko na alam anong
iisipin. Ayokong masira yung pagkakaibigan namin. Mas okay na saking hanggang kaibigan
lang kesa naman sa mawala s'ya lalo sakin.”

Seeing Nicole this distressed, Jao can’t help but feel bad for his friend. But on the other note,
he can’t ignore the fact that Jhoanna also looks like she has been stressed out about
something. Too bad they aren’t really this close so he can’t talk to her about that.

“Honest lang, Nics, I think kailangan n'yo talaga pag-usapan ano man yang nagyayari
between sa inyong dalawa. Kasi, sa totoo lang, hindi lang ikaw yung halatang stressed sa
inyo.”
“Huh? Paano mo nasabi?” Jao wanted to laugh but stopped herself.

“Gurl. Nakita mo ba si Jhoanna lately? Parang walking zombie yung babaeng yun. Tsaka si
accla, nagzozone out sa klase. Classmate ko s'ya sa isa kong subject. Hindi naman s'ya
normally ganito.”

“Eh? Baka naman stressed lang sa ibang subject. Part s'ya ng research group ng university.
Baka marami silang ginagawa.”

At this point, Jao really wanted to smack his forehead. Akala ko ba, ikaw bestie ni Jhoanna!

“Nics, alam na alam mong never nagkaproblema sa acads ‘tong si Jhoanna. It’s like, naka-
implant na yung mga libro at papers natin sa utak n'ya. And kung about acads man yun, for
sure malalaman mo kasi magtatanong s'ya sa’yo.”

“Hmm, totoo naman. Never yun namroblema sa acads. Pero bakit nga s'ya ma-sstress?”

If Jao could pull out all his hair at that moment, he would’ve done just that. But of course, he
loves to keep his pink hair intact.

“Gurl, ang slow talaga. Of course, it’s beca-”

“Hey! I’m done showering. Sorry, medyo natagalan. Tara, Jao?”

Perfect timing for Taneo to arrive.

“Hey, sorry, nakawin ko lang si Jao saglit. Gusto man kita iinvite sa movie date namin pero
for sure ayaw mong maging third wheel,” Taneo said jokingly, which earned a slap in the arm
from his boyfriend.
“Oks lang yun! Pauwi na rin naman ako. Ingat kayo!”

Once the two separated from her, the last thing that stayed in her mind was Jao calling her
slow for a reason she’d probably never know.

---

It was only around four in the afternoon when she decided to head home. But of course,
without forgetting to pass by one of her favorite stores around.

And maybe she could also buy some for her best friend that she misses so much. And then
they could probably talk about stuff.

Just as when she turned a corner before Baskin Robbins, she spotted a familiar, very familiar,
back that entered the said store– with someone else.

She may not be fully familiar with the other person but she knows some bits about her. She
had expressed her admiration to Jhoanna when the latter performed in one of their department
talent shows, not once, but enough times for her to remember that face. She wasn’t exactly
subtle about it. And she was sitting right in front of her.

And she never knew that those two are actually close, until now.

What did she do? Of course, watch from a distance how those two interact.
She saw how her best friend offered her ice cream to the other, with the latter accepting it
right away. She saw how her best friend opened the door for her. She watched how those two
pushed each other harmlessly as they walked away from the store.

Suddenly, she doesn’t feel like eating ice cream anymore.

---

“Uy, Cole,” Jhoanna greeted as Nicole entered the house. It was quite awkward for her liking
but she can’t do anything about it. She’s still thinking of the stuff she talked about with
Charice.

“Uy,” her best friend greeted back in a little less enthusiastic manner. Her mind’s flooded
with Jao’s words at the moment. And also the things she saw earlier.

“May ice cream sa free–”

“Geh, check ko nalang maya,” and off she goes to her room, leaving Jhoanna clueless about
her best friend’s action.

“Ano yun?”
Meanwhile, Nicole also doesn’t know why she’s not in the mood. Suddenly, ice cream
doesn’t seem so appealing to her anymore.

“Anong nangyayari sa’yo, Nicolette?”

“Akala ko ba, gusto mo makausap si Jho? Bakit nagkukulong ka ngayon sa kwarto mo?”

In the middle of her self conversation, she heard a soft knock on the door.

“Cole?” she heard from the other side.

Even without responding, she heard the door open slightly. She then saw Jhoanna’s head
peeking from the gap.

“Okay ka lang ba?” she asked in concern.

“Hmm. Pagod lang siguro.”

“Sure? Parang bothered ka.”

She was about to speak when Jhoanna pushed the door open and let herself in. She felt her
bed dip when her best friend sat beside her.

“Alam mo namang pwede mo ako kausapin, di 'ba?”

“Alam ko naman.”
Of course, she can’t. She doesn’t even know what to tell her.

“Eh bakit ka ganito? At para tumanggi ka sa ice cream?”

She just gave a tired smile. She can’t deal with this right now. Not when she’s confused
inside.

“Pagod lang ako, Jho. Promise. Idlip lang ako tas kainin ko mamaya. Okay?”

Jhoanna could only give a small smile. She’s not fully convinced but she doesn’t know what
to say anymore.

“Okay. Sa sala lang ako. Sabihan mo lang ako kung may problema ka.”

“Sige, salamat.”

They stayed like that for a full minute more before Jhoanna stood up and looked at her one
more time.

Once Jhoanna left the room, she slumped her face on her pillow, giving out a heavy sigh.

Why can’t she face Jhoanna right now? She’s still curious about what Jao was about to say
earlier before Taneo came.

But one thing lingering inside her head was the photo Jaz had taken. She also doesn’t
understand why she was so clingy that day. Maybe spur of the moment? Suppressed feelings?
Oh, right. How could she forget about this yearning of hers?

Every time she sees Jhoanna, those small fluttery feelings return.
Maybe it’s time to stop being in denial. Maybe this is what Jao has been saying.

Besides, why would she feel those weird feelings about her best friend? Those feelings that
she never felt before. And why would she lose her mood by seeing her best friend with that
familiar fangirl earlier?

But of course, she doesn’t know what the others feel. So she can’t just rashly tell her best
friend that “uy, alam mo ba, kinikilig ako sa’yo? I think gusto kita. Maybe we could see
where this leads?”

That would be putting herself in the fire.

So she just slept it off, completely forgetting the ice cream.

---

“Ang weird ni Nicole.”

This made Charice look at her. “Paanong weird?”

“Di 'ba, binilhan ko s'yang ice cream kahapon? Yung favorite flavor n'ya?”

“Yeah.”
“Inalok ko s'ya kahapon pagkarating n'ya pero tumanggi lang s'ya tas dumeretso sa room
n'ya. Tinanong ko naman kung may problema s'ya pero sabi n'ya lang, pagod lang daw s'ya.
Kainin daw n'ya yung ice cream pag gising n'ya. Eh nung chineck ko freezer kanina, andun
pa yung ice cream.”

“May something off sa kanya?”

“Kaya nga eh. Okay naman kami nung isang araw. ‘Di ko talaga alam kung bakit wala s'ya sa
mood kahapon. Inisip ko nalang, pagod lang talaga s'ya.”

“Hmm, baka nga ganun.”

Meanwhile, in the back of Charice’s mind, she can’t help but suppress the grin that’s
threatening to spill.

You see, she actually saw her yesterday. She saw her when they walked out of Baskin. And
she’s not dumb not to recognize that expression painted on her face.

Oh, and how could she forget the piercing glares during that talent show? She’s well aware of
who’s sitting behind her that day.

You can say that Charice is kind of their shipper. But of course, that’s her little secret. And
her girlfriend’s, too.

She was so busy plotting something inside her mind that she didn’t notice Jhoanna calling
her.

“Anong nginingiti mo dyan? Katakot ka talaga minsan.”

Charice immediately retracted her grin that she didn’t notice she had.

“‘Wag mo ako pansinin. May mga moments lang talaga ako. So, back to you. Anong plano
mong gawin ngayon?”

This question made Jhoanna sigh heavily. “Hindi ko na alam. Pag gusto ko na s'yang
kausapin, s'ya bigla yung wala sa mood. Pero sa totoo lang, ‘di ko rin naman alam kung
anong sasabihin ko sa kanya eh. ‘Di ko naman kayang basta nalang sabihin sa kanya na ‘ Uy,
Cole, alam mo bang may sparks sa puso ko pag tinitingnan kita? Let’s see where this goes.’
Sinaksak ko nalang sana sarili ko.”

Jhoanna’s got a point, she thought. So, if wants to push this OTP of hers to reality, the first
thing she gotta do is to confirm if the other party feels the same.

And what more effective way to do that than to test the waters?

So immediately, Charice fetched her phone and messaged her girlfriend.

Charice: Beb, tanda mo yung nakwento ko about Jholette?

Sophia: Nicolette at Jhoanna? Bakla, kakachika mo lang sa’kin kaninang umaga.

Charice: Yun na nga. So may plano ako. Pero Syempre, need ko ng permission mo at
assurance na hindi ka magseselos.

Sophia: Ano na namang pinaplano mo, Charice Andrea?

Charice: Diba alam mo namang akala ng mga tao, may crush ako kay Jhoanna? Sus,
kahit ikaw nga wagas makaasar pero in the end, pinagselos lang ang sarili :p

Sophia: Wag ka papakita sakin

Charice: HALA BABY BIRO LANG EH ‘TO NAMAN! De ano, plan ko lang sana pag
selosin slight si Nicole para makita reaction nya. Gusto ko kasi malaman kung mutual
ba nararamdaman nila. At sinasabi ko ‘to sa’yo para hindi ka magselos if ever makita
mo man kami magkasama ni Jhoanna. Don’t worry baby, I’m yours only <3

Oh panis poetry nag rhyme!

Sophia: Dork. Pasalamat ka, mahal kita. Sige na nga. Pero pag yan talaga, kayo
nagkadevelopan, yari ka sakin
Charice: Thanks love! Don’t worry. Gusto ko lang talagang lumayag tong ship kong
palubog na.

“Ayan ka na naman sa ngisi mong yan,” Jhoanna said from the side as she watched Charice
while using her phone.

“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just texting Sophia something.” This got Jhoanna chuckling.

“Oh, to have someone na mapapangiti kang parang baliw,” she said to no one specifically
before returning to her papers.

Don’t worry, Jho. Gagawan natin yan ng paraan, Charice thought as she looked at her
classmate with a smile on her face.

---

The clock strikes 12 and it’s finally Jhoanna’s lunchtime. As she was about to walk away,
Charice caught her arm.
“Wait, Jhoanna. Break time?” she asked.

“Yeah, 3 pa next class ko.”

“Great! Iniisip ko sanang simulan na natin ung paper na due sa isang araw. Dami ko na rin
ganap later after classes eh. Ngayon lang break ko. 4 pa naman class ko.”

Jhoanna thought for a bit before smiling back at her, “Sige ba! Mas okay din siguro para
maaga tayo matapos.”

“Okay, tara sa caf.”

“Huh? Hindi sa lib?”

Charice could only laugh. “Inaantok ako dun eh. Tsaka super gutom na ako. Pwede naman
tayong mag working lunch. Tsaka ang chika, may sans rival sila ngayon kaya tara na!”

And just as she planned, here they are, sitting side by side in the school cafeteria while
discussing their activity paper over lunch.

“I think nakuha ko naman ‘tong number 3. Hindi applicable yung ibang methods eh so eto
lang pwede natin gamitin.”

“Tiwala naman ako sa utak mo, Jhoanna.”

“Uy, ‘wag kang ano dyan. Matalino ka rin naman. Nauna mo nga masagutan yung 1 at 2 eh.”

As the two were discussing, Jhoanna’s phone beeped.

Nicole: Jho, san ka? May naiwan ka dito sa bahay. Iabot ko sana sa’yo.

Jhoanna: School caf ako. Naglunch ka na? Sabay na tayo! :)

Nicole: Oks! Dyan na ako in a bit

“Papunta pala si Cole dito. May iaabot daw sa’kin.” Jhoanna said as she put her phone back
on the table.

This had Charice’s gears turning suddenly.

A few minutes later, they saw a familiar figure walking towards them. And that figure
suddenly slowed down once near. Charice could feel that same stare. It’s honestly quite scary.
“Cole! Anong naiwan ko pala?”

For some unknown reason, well, for Jhoanna at least, Nicole’s demeanor suddenly changed
as she approached their table. She saw her holding a familiar shoe bag.

“Matalino nga, pero nakalimutan yung softball shoes eh alam namang may training mamaya.
Tsk.” Then she put the bag down on the table, far from gentle. Jhoanna had to flinch at that.

She also wanted to slap herself. How could she forget those? She actually forgot about her
softball training if not for Nicole mentioning it. Thank goodness she always keeps a pair of
training shirt in her locker.

“Hala, omg! Sobrang salamat, Cole! Nakalimutan ko talagang may training nga pala ako
mamaya.”

She was about to move aside to make room for Nicole when the latter spoke.

“Tsaka sabayan ko pala sina Jao. Naparami raw s'ya ng luto ng pasta kaya binibigay sa’kin.
Kita nalang sa bahay.”

And off she goes.

Throughout the whole interaction, Charice felt like she was holding her breath. Looks like
she’s now questioning her decision to use herself as bait for this.

But one thing’s for sure now. She definitely has an effect on her. And Nicole’s starting to hate
her existence. A good thing and a bad thing.

“Ang… lamig,” she said.

“Hala, sorry talaga about dun. Hindi ko rin alam bakit ganun s'ya ngayon.”

I know why lol.

“Sus, okay lang yun! ‘Wag mo na masyadong isipin. Tara, tapusin na natin ‘tong activity.”

It’s five thirty in the afternoon and Jhoanna’s on her way to the open field for her softball
training. It’s been postponed multiple times due to the weather so they’re only having their
open practice today.

As the game progressed, she didn’t notice the two figures sitting on the bleachers, watching
her.

“Go Jhoanna!” she suddenly heard a familiar voice cheer. Her head snapped in that direction
and almost burst out laughing after seeing Charice with a huge ‘#1’ glove at hand. Beside her
is her best– girlfriend, rather, Sophia, smiling at her companion’s antics. At least she knows
no one’s getting jealous that night.

Or so she thought.

At the other side of the field at the entrance, her best friend didn’t miss that loudass scream
from that very familiar fangirl of Jhoanna.

Nicole just stood there, with a bottle of water in one hand and an extra towel in the other,
which both ended up being clutched tightly but she didn't realize it.

“Plano plano ka pang manood ng practice nila eh may nauna na,” she mumbled before
turning around and walking back inside the school building.
“Uy uy, nakita mo ‘yon?” Charice whispered to her girlfriend.

“‘Di ko sure pero si Nicole ba ‘yon?”

“Tumpak, babe!”

“So…” Sophia paused, thinking about the situation, “is it safe to say na nagseselos nga s'ya?”

“Well, kung hindi mo alam ‘tong pinaplano kong ‘to at nakita mo akong nagsisisigaw ng
‘Jhoanna’ dito, for sure, ganun din magiging reaction mo.”

Sophia got the logic and nodded, “Yep. Definitely jealous.”

---

“Piskit na yan. Nakakabwisit.”

The person being directed jumped in surprise as Nicole suddenly sat in front of him while he
read his notes.
“Okay, ano na namang nangyari at anger mode ka na naman? Tsaka bakit andito ka? Kala ko
ba may - sa open field ang bff mo?”

Nicole could only roll her eyes. “Eh parang hindi naman na ako kailangan dun eh.”

This got Jao curious. He then grabbed his phone and messaged his sporty friend.

Jao: Accling, ongoing practice nyo?

Jaz: Sakto ka. Ten minutes break kami now. What’s up?

Jao: Dyan ba si Jhoanna? Nakita mo pala dumaan si Nicole dyan?

Jaz: Nicole? Parang ‘di ko naman napansin s'ya. As for Jho naman, pumunta s'ya sa
bleachers, may kausap na dalawang babae.

Jaz: Ui, si Charice Hermoso ba yun? Yung taga teatro? Close pala sila? s'ya rin siguro
yung sumisigaw ng ‘Jhoanna’ kanina.
Jao could only nod. No wonder Nicole’s here.

Jao: Ahh project partners yang dalawa kaya close sila. Eniweys, thanks sa chika sis.

Jaz: Ba’t mo pala natanong? Pakachismosa mo talaga bakla ka

Jao: Wala naman, para lang updated sa mga ganaps. Wag mo ko pansinin :D

Jaz: Okay?? Anyways, ttyl. Tinatawag ako ni sir

Yes, he’s just trying to see something here. But what is Jhoanna’s relation to Charice? If what
he initially thought was right, then why is Jhoanna suddenly close to another woman? And
where has he heard that name before? Charice, Charice… Charice Hermoso.
Jaz said Charice is a member of the Teatro Tomasino. Well, the dance club sometimes works
with them if there are musicals so maybe Taneo has mentioned her before.

While the two were sitting silently at the school bench, someone started approaching them.

“Uy, Nicole, Jao!”

“Hi, Loi. Musta na?” Nicole greeted. Jao just gave a nod with a smile. They’re classmates in
most subjects so they’re good acquaintances.

“Grabe, ang hectic sa student council, nakakaloka. Anyway, ba’t andito ka pa?”

Nicole then suddenly wondered. Why is she still here? Her class ended an hour ago and her
plan of watching the softball practice has been shut down anyway.

“Actually, pauwi na ako.”

“Inaantay mo si Jho?” That caused Jao to snort. He tried to cover his grin with the notebook
he was holding but failed to stay invisible.

“Ayos ka lang, Jao?” both looked in his direction.

“Ay, ‘wag mo ‘ko pansinin. May naalala lang ako sa class kanina habang nagbabasa ng
notes.”

Nicole then returned her attention to Maloi. “‘Di eh. May practice pa s'ya. Pauwi na ako
ngayon.”

“Great! Pauwi na rin ako. Sabay ka na sa’kin.”

---

“Pwede bang mag cafe muna tayo?”

With Nicole’s request, Maloi parked her car on the roadside in front of CBTL, just along the
way to her apartment.

They settled themselves on the corner seat near the huge window pane.

“Anong gusto mo?”

“Hmm, parang craving ako sa chocolate cake ngayon.”

“Gotcha.” Maloi gave her a wink before proceeding to the cashier to order.

A few minutes later, she returned with both of their orders and Maloi started digging into her
tiramisu cake while Nicole slowly ate her cake. She released a deep sigh that didn’t escape
her ears. She settled her spoon down and looked at her with concerned eyes.

“Uy, bakit parang si Sadness nakaduty ngayon? Nag-away ba ulit kayo ni Jhoanna?”

Nicole could only give out a bitter smile.

“‘Di naman, pero… ‘di ko na rin alam. Ako na siguro yung problema.”

“Care to share?”

Nicole gave out another sigh. “It’s just, okay fine. Nakausap ko si Jao tungkol dito. About sa
kung ano talagang nararamdaman ko. Yung mga gumugulo sa utak ko, ganon. Ang
conclusion is, baka may feelings ako for Jho, na kahit ako mismo hindi sure since first time
ko lang naman maka-feel ng ganito eh.”

Maloi figured as much. Instead of being surprised, she’s actually quite happy that finally, her
friend is starting to realize her feelings.

“Pero si Jho… wala akong idea kung anong nasa utak n'ya! Medyo mixed signal s'ya minsan
kaya naman hindi ko alam kung papanindigan ko ba ‘tong nararamdaman ko o babalewalain
ko nalang.”

“Paanong mixed signal?”

“May times na sobra yung pag-aalala n'ya sa’kin. Tapos minsan, kung tingnan n'ya ako,
feeling ko ang ganda-ganda ko sa paningin n'ya. Pero the next moment, bigla n'yang kasama
yung ibang tao, tuwang tuwa. Tsaka the fact na yung kasama n'ya ngayon, eh alam naman ng
lahat na may crush kay Jho.”

“Nakita mo sila?”

This time, Nicole covered her face with her hands, remembering the scenes from earlier at the
open field. “Manonood talaga dapat ako nung practice nila kanina.”

“Ahh kaso nagback out ka kasi nakita mo si ate girl na may crush kay Jho?”
“Loi, rinig na rinig ko yung sigaw n'ya sa pangalan ni Jho mula sa field entrance! To think na
nasa kabilang side ako. Dadalhan ko sana s'yang tubig at towel kasi lagi n'ya nakakalimutan
mga ganitong bagay eh kaso, mukhang hindi naman na ako kailangan dun eh.”

Maloi can see the upset look on her face. Well, even she can’t deny that she’s quite sad about
the situation. She really thought Jhoanna’s on the same boat as her so she’s also confused by
it. Now, she feels bad for her friend because of it.

She reached her hand out and patted her head lightly, “Malay mo naman, wala lang yun? I
mean, hindi naman natin alam kung anong meron. I heard project partners sila. Lamang ka
nga since kasama mo s'ya sa bahay. Alam mo, baka kailangan n'yo na talaga mag-usap kung
ganito ka ka-bothered. For all we know, bothered na rin si Jhoanna tungkol dito. Medyo
lutang s'ya lately, parang hindi s'ya.”

Nicole could only sigh once again. When she accepted the fact that her feelings were starting
to change, she didn’t expect it to be this hard.

---

The following days have been the black and white for the two. Back at the apartment, they
act normal, well, if trying to escape from each other is what you call normal.

But at school, it’s been quite the opposite for the two, with Jhoanna somehow slowly
accepting whatever she’s feeling and thinking of what to do with it. Nicole, on the other
hand, is slowly losing hope.

Let’s just say that whatever Charice is doing is working well, a little too well actually.
Even Gwen and Shar have been looking at the two suspiciously, and they have to ask the
person directly involved in this.

“Hi, Jho,” Gwen greeted as they entered the room.

“Hi rin sa’yo, ate Gwen. Saan si ate Shar?”

“On the way na raw s'ya.” As she settled herself on her seat, she looked at Jhoanna for a long
time before starting to ask questions.

“Jho, may tanong ako sa’yo.”

“Shoot.”

Jhoanna noticed the seriousness on Gwen’s face so she figured it must be a serious topic.

“Do you still feel the same kay Nicole?”

Jhoanna had to blink at the question. She thought she made it clear that she’s been feeling
that way recently.

“Yes! Actually, I think ready ko na s'yang kausapin about it. Naghahanap lang ako ng perfect
timing. Kaso parang lagi s'yang busy lately,” she then noticed that Gwen’s expression hasn’t
changed a bit, “Masyado bang maaga?”

“Hindi ah. Actually, I also think kailangan n'yo na talaga yan pag-usapan. Pero bago yon,
may tanong muna ako.”
And this made Jhoanna even more nervous.

“Napansin ko lang na lagi ka nakadikit dito kay ate girl. Lagi ko kaya kayo nakikita around
campus. Tapos ang chika, may crush daw yun sa’yo dati pa.”

Jhoanna knows who they are talking about. She’s well aware of the fact that she’s been
hanging out with Charice a lot recently. But maybe it’s because Charice knows her situation
better than anyone else.

“Close friend lang yun, si Charice.”

“Suuuure.”

Jhoanna knows that Gwen’s not buying her words. But she’s torn whether to reveal Charice’s
secret or not.

But oh well, she can reveal some parts, right?

“Tsaka iissue-hin n'yo kami, eh taken na yung tao. Tinutulungan lang n'ya ako kasi ganitong-
ganito rin situation n'ya dati.”

Finally, Gwen let go of her serious expression and relaxed a bit, releasing the tension Jhoanna
had been feeling inside.

“Well, if that’s the case, kelan mo plano kausapin si Nicole?”

She paused for a bit, thinking.

Right, when is she gonna talk to her?

“Soon, Jho. I suggest pag-usapan n'yo na yan soon. Pareho na kayong problemado masyado.”

“Ate Shar?! Kelan ka pa dumating?”

She chuckled at her surprised face, “Saktong abot lang sa part na sabi mo, gusto mo s'yang
makausap.”

She then thought of Shar’s words. How ‘soon’ is soon? She’s afraid that it might be too soon,
or it might be too late.

The two seniors were surprised when Jhoanna suddenly banged her head on the table.

“Ooh, sakit nyan, par.”

“Ayos ka lang, Jho?”

They asked in concern as Jhoanna remained in her position. A few minutes later, she stood
back up, with an obvious red mark on her forehead.

“I think I know what to do,” she suddenly said.

“Okay? Pero ayusin mo muna yang pulang marka sa noo mo. Mukha kang siopao.”

“Huh?” Jhoanna asked clueless before touching her forehead. She then flinched at the
contact, feeling the slight bump in the middle. Gwen can only laugh.

“Daan ka munang clinic before next class mo, okay?”

---

The next time Jhoanna had her Pathology class, she immediately looked for one person she
wanted to talk to so badly.

“Jao?” she called her classmate hesitantly. They’re not particularly close. In fact, Jhoanna can
count on one hand the number of times they interacted. It’s not that she’s scared of the guy
but… who was she kidding? It’s exactly that.

“Hi, Jhoanna!” Jao greeted back, a little bit too enthusiastic.

She fidgets for a bit, thinking of how to ask Jao about it. She’s now beating herself up as to
why she approached the guy in the first place.

“Oks ka lang, girl? Mukha kang constipated dyan.”

Jhoanna suddenly stood up straight after that comment, which made the other laugh. He’s not
as scary as I thought.

Jao, on the other hand, has a slight idea of why Jhoanna approached him.

“Sorry. I’m just… Anyway, Napansin ko lang, lagi mo kasama si Cole?”

“Oh, right! Sensya na girl kung naaagaw ko s'ya sa’yo minsan.”

“No, no! Walang kaso yun. In fact, I think mas okay na may iba rin s'yang nakakaclose bukod
sa’kin. Baka magsawa kami sa mukha ng isa’t-isa kung kami lang palagi magkasama.”

Jhoanna’s not sure if she just imagined things or if Jao really just snorted after she said that.

Their professor gave them their seatwork for the day before leaving the classroom. Jhoanna
grabbed this chance and moved closer to Jao.

“Uh, Jao? Actually, gusto sana kita kausapin about something.”

“Oh, sure, dear. Go ahead. Ano yun?”

Is it okay to talk to him about it? Jhoanna wondered.

“Close na kayo ni Cole, no?”

“Hmmm, parang ganun na nga. Marami kami napapag-usapan, actually.” Jao tried his best to
act nonchalant. He wanted to tease the other girl but he doesn’t want to spill anything. Yet.

“Oh, ganun ba?” he could see that Jhoanna wanted to ask but was thinking twice about it. He
can see the hesitation on her face. So he kept his stoic face just for fun.

“Yeah. Alam mo naman, girl talk, fashion… love life. Mga ganung bagay.”

Love life…
“Oh, ganun ba?” she said again, to which Jao finally laughed.

“Girl, kilala kita as isa sa pinakamatalinong Thomasian dito so baka naman may iba kang
alam sabihin bukod sa ‘ganun ba’ .”

Jhoanna then realized what he meant, which caused her to hit herself in the forehead. Big
mistake.

“Fuc- Aray!”

“Anyare sa’yo?”

“‘Wag mo ‘ko pansinin. Nauntog lang ako kanina.”

“No shit. Laki nga ng bukol mo sa noo.”

As the two fell silent, Jhoanna thought of a way to open the topic. She doesn’t know how.
Heck, she doesn’t even know if Jao has any idea. But here she is, risking being exposed, but
whatever.

“Jao, may itatanong lang sana ako.”

“Girl, kanina mo pa yan sinasabi,” he laughed lightly, “tungkol ba ‘to sa bff mo?”

“I–” Okay, looks like Jao has an idea.

“Well, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, ano bang gusto mo malaman tungkol sa childhood best friend mo?” Funny how Jao
added that last part. In these cases, Jhoanna’s supposed to be the one who knows everything
about her best friend. But yeah, she’s terribly failing in that department.

“Nakausap ka na ba ni Nicole tungkol sa ano… hmm, let’s say may nagugustuhan daw ba
s'ya?”

Jao raised one of his on-flick brows, “Oh, curious ka? Never n'yo napagchikahan ni Nicole
mga ganyan?”

“Uh, ‘di namin napapag-usapan mga ganyang bagay eh. Baka rin dahil busy kami pareho.”

“Riiiight.”

Before answering, Jao smirked secretly. Oh, this will be fun.

“Actually, oo. Napagkwentuhan namin yan. And mukhang may nagugustuhan ‘tong si ate mo
Nicolette. Wait, no. May nagugustuhan talaga s'ya. Yeah, I’m sure of that.”

“T-talaga? Kilala mo?”

“Uy, curious s'ya. Bakit, sstalk mo? Protective bff yarn?”

“Luh. Syempre! Baka mamaya, redflag yung crush n'ya. Ako muna makakaharap n'ya bago
s'ya makalapit sa best friend ko. I only want what’s best for her.”

“Hmm, fair point.”

“So?”
“So? Ano?”

“Kilala mo?”

Oh dear, I definitely know.

“Hmmm, I think kilala ko naman sya.”

Jhoanna’s eyes widen. She’s not sure if Jao’s willing to spill anything at this point. She can
see the mischievous smile on the latter’s face.

“Uh, sasabihin mo ba sa’kin?”

“It depends.”

“Si Maloi Ricalde ba?”

There it is again. Jao tried to stifle his laugh, which ended with him snorting.

“Laking tulong ng pagtawa mo, Jao.”

Jao had to calm himself down before replying. “Sorry, natawa lang ako. But if anything.
Friend lang talaga sila ni Maloi. And I heard na may something sila ni SC presi Maki.”

Jhoanna didn’t know that. Well, she would’ve known if she hadn’t distanced herself from the
two. But of course, she decided to do just that.
Hearing Jao’s answer somehow gave her relief. But then she realized that even though
Maloi’s out of the equation, there could be someone else.

“Ganun ka ba ka-curious? Worried?”

“...yes?”

“Tell me, Jhoanna,” he started, now with a serious tone, “nung sinabi kong nagkekwentuhan
kami about sa mga bagay bagay, I mean it. So aware din ako na hindi kayo ganun ka-okay
recently. So kung pagbibigyan, gusto ko rin sana marinig side mo.”

Is she willing to reveal it to Jao? Would that be of any help?

“I… it’s just that finifigure out ko pa s'ya sa sarili ko.”

“And involved s'ya dyan, tama?”

“... yeah.”

Deep inside, Jao’s smiling. Looks like his assumptions are true.

“Jhoanna, pwede ka maging honest sa’kin, ha?”

She didn’t answer right away. She’s afraid of whatever Jao Canlas has to say.

“Jhoanna Marie Mae, may gusto ka ba sa best friend mo?”

 She could only nod slowly.

“Oo... gusto ko sya.”

##

Chapter End Notes

So ayun finally 'di na sila denial hahaha thank you naman sa mga friends nila jusq. (Pero
tru yun, Pag ikaw na yung nasa situation, magiging bulag ka talaga sa pinapakita nung
isa kasi as much as possible, ayaw mo mag assume at masaktan)

Hello naman sa mga guest characters natin haha! Kung 'di mo sila kilala, bakit? char
anyway para may idea kayo sino sila:
Jao, Taneo (Alamat)
Jaz (G22)
Maki (Dilaw, Saan?)
Charice, Sophia (Kaia)

Go check their songs din hehe

😭
(also guys guys guys happy shipping lang for funsies huhu 'wag po tayo mag-away away
sa mga ships awa nalang )
 The Final Trump Card
Chapter Summary

Another gamble with chances of survival; The reappearance of someone unexpected

Chapter Notes

Back to the present time

THE FINAL TRUMP CARD

She woke up feeling an extreme pain in her head. It was already dark outside, but what
surprised her the most was that she was in her apartment, lying on her sofa.

She looked at the wall clock and noticed that it was only a little bit past three in the morning.
But how did she get home? What happened?

She stood up, still feeling dizzy from last night. Finally, she noticed that she was still in her
work attire from yesterday, minus her coat which was hanging by the coat rack. She found
her phone on top of her coffee table. As she pressed the power button, only an empty battery
appeared. Great, she thought.

Even with great difficulty, she navigated around her apartment to look for her charger. She’s
still puzzled as to how she ended up here. The last thing she remembered was that she was
with Gwen and Shar. And then, none.
As soon as she turned her phone on, continuous beeps and buzzes rang out after dozens of
messages arrived. Some came from her two friends, some from her senior at work, and most
came from Aiah. There are also tons of missed calls.

[Hey, I’m really sorry for earlier. ‘Di ko alam na pupunta syang cafe. I don’t know
what’s up between you two but I figured it’s something deep. Are you alright? Bigla
kang umalis.] - Ms. Arceta

[Did you get home safely? You looked so lost earlier I was worried. Hindi ka pa rin
nagrereply. Please message me as soon as you see this.] - Ms. Arceta

[Inuwi ka na namin after mo mag pass out. ‘Di ko sure anong oras ka gigising pero
message us agad pag nakita mo ‘to ha?] - Ate Gwen

[Baliw ka bakit ininom mo lahat yon? Nakakaloka ka teh nagpass out ka talaga jusq ka.
Sorry din hindi ka na namin napigilan. Message ka pag gising ka na. Sorry ‘di na kami
nakapag stay.] - Ate Shar

[Jhoanna Christine! Tinatawagan kita kagabi pero unattended phone mo. Umuwi ka ba
tulad nung bilin ko? Okay ka lang ba? Hinahanap ka sakin ni Ms. Arceta. Kagabi ka pa
raw ‘di matawagan. Reply ka as soon as you see this.] - Doc Jea

[Doc Robles, tinatanong ka ni ate Aiah sakin. Pinag leave ka raw ni doc Jea? Pero hindi
ka raw nasagot sa kahit anong message sabi ni ate. Okay ka lang ba doc?] - Ms.
Sevilleja

[Hey, it’s been hours and I’m getting really worried :(( Sabi ni doc Jea, hindi ka pa raw
nagpaparamdam since this morning. Where are you right now? Please please reply
soon.] - Ms. Arceta

[Jhoanna you’re seriously scaring me! I was trying to call you since you weren’t
replying to my texts but your phone’s unattended. What the hell is happening? That’s
it, puntahan na kita!] - Ms. Arceta

Missed call: Doc Jea (4)

Missed call: Ms. Sevilleja (5)

Missed call: Ate Gwen (4)

Missed call: Ms. Arceta (10)

The last message was sent at 2:45 am. She checked the time again. She’s surprised that it’s
already 3:20 am.

And just as what was said in the message, a series of knocks was then heard from her front
door.

Slowly, she approached the door, with every knock reverberating inside her aching head.

“Jhoanna! Dyan ka ba? It’s me, Aiah!”

Finally, Jhoanna was able to open the door, with a disarrayed Aiah greeting her still in
yesterday’s clothes.

“What the heck happened? You look like a mess! You fucking scared the hell out of me! No
one could reach you earlier! What were you–”

Before she could continue her scolding, Jhoanna managed to shush her by suddenly hugging
her, or more of hanging onto her. “Please, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko. Mamaya mo na ako
pagalitan.”
Seeing that she was slowly losing her balance, Aiah immediately grabbed the doctor and
ushered her back to her sofa.

Once she settled the younger, she tried to control her temper before speaking. It’s obvious
that Jhoanna drank a little too much. The strong smell of alcohol gave it away.

“Please tell me you didn’t drive while drunk.”

“H-hindi. Hinatid daw ako nina ate Gwen.”

Well, one less thing to worry about.

All the adrenaline from earlier finally caught on, which caused her to slump down on the
sofa. Anxiety was killing her.

“I was so worried sick earlier kaso need ko tapusin yung shoot bago kita hanapin. I went back
to the hospital to look for you. Buti nalang, binigay ni Doc Jea address mo sa’kin.”

“I’m really sorry for making you worry.”

Aiah could only sigh. “As long as you’re safe. Dyan ka lang. I’ll fix something up for you.”

Jhoanna complied.

As if in her own house, Aiah moved around the apartment, looking for some hangover meds,
and even some ingredients so she could whip up something for the poor doctor.

Jhoanna was almost asleep when she felt Aiah approaching her. “Here. At least may food ka
dito. Kain ka muna before drinking meds.”
“Thank you, Aiah.”

She ate silently while Aiah’s busy with her phone, probably texting Doc Jea and Stacey about
the current situation. She’s starting to feel guilty for making everyone worried.

“Sorry talaga.”

“We’ll talk about it later. Kamusta na pakiramdam mo?” Aiah’s voice was full of concern.
This made the doctor more guilty than she already was.

“Sobrang hilo pa rin pero mas magaan na kesa kanina”

They remained silent for the remainder of the time, with Jhoanna slowly eating the hangover
soup Aiah made for her. She’s kinda curious if Aiah’s used to situations like this because for
some miracle, the soup’s actually doing wonders and her dizziness is slowly fading away.

Now, to address something she wanted to talk about with Aiah.

“Ms. Arc- No, Aiah?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sure curious ka kung bakit sobrang affected ako kay Ni- kay Colet.”

“You don’t need to force yourself, Jhoanna.”

Jhoanna sighs. As much as how hard it is, the only way for her to breathe is to get it out of
her system.

“Colet. Nicole. Colet Vergara. Nicolette Vergara.”

Aiah accepted the fact that she can’t probably stop Jhoanna at this moment. She knows how
hard it is for the latter but maybe it’s what she wants. Maybe it’s also for her own sake.

“Nicolette Vergara. Isang aspiring doctor, parang ako lang. Pareho naming tinitingala ang
tatay nya. Isang kilalang neurosurgeon, hindi lang dito sa Manila, pero sa buong bansa, o
kahit sa ibang bansa pa, matunog pangalan nya.”

Aiah then remembered something that Colet told her when she was mumbling some
“nonsense” or that’s what she thought.

“Magaling syang estudyante. Matalino. Masipag. May pagkamataray ng pero part ng charms
nya yun. You can say, an ideal person.”

“Nicolette… Vergara?” Aiah asked. She knows the woman as Colet. So she always had to
remind herself that she was also Nicolette. Someone from Jhoanna’s past.

“Nicole’s my childhood friend. Matagal na naming kilala isa’t-isa. Halos sabay na nga
kaming tumanda n’on.”

There was a little pause.

“S’ya rin ang aking first crush. First love. First girlfriend.”

“Sobrang saya. Everything’s falling into place. Nasa med school na kami nun. Marami
kaming plans. Plans for our future together.”
“Pero sabi nga nila, bihira naman ang happy ending,” Jhoanna released a laugh but it was so
dry it sounded full of pain.

And then what happened? Aiah thought.

“Nung akala kong magiging okay na ang lahat, na malapit na naming unti-unting matupad
mga pangarap namin, of course, kailangang masira ang lahat.”

She breathed in deeply as she thought of their past.

“Med school graduation. Isa sa pinaka-memorable na araw para sa amin. We’re both
graduating with honors. Top ako sa buong graduating class. Matapos yung ilang taong
iniyakan, pinagpaguran, yung mga times na muntik na kami sumuko at pagsisihan mga
desisyon namin, pero nung araw na ‘yon, sobrang saya namin. We survived all those
hardships. A great day, huh?”

“After nung ceremony, I wanted to spend some time with her. Gusto sya i-invite ng family ko
for dinner. Pero nung tinanong ko na s’ya, ngumiti lang s’ya sa’kin. ‘Yung ngiting kala mo,
tulad ng usual nyang ngiti, pero alam mong may iba,” she then looked at Aiah.

“Di ‘ba, minsan, we tend to do the same actions pero magkaibang meaning?” Aiah could
only nod.

“Niyakap nya ako nang sobrang higpit. We even kissed. Pero bakit ang sakit? Bakit nung
mga oras na ‘yon, parang huli na ‘yon? Pero alam mo kung anong mas masakit? Yung fact na
wala talaga akong idea kung anong mga susunod na mangyayari. Narealize ko lang sya nang
nangyari na ang mga mangyayari.”

“Sabi ko nga, medyo out of the normal. Nonchalant na tao si Nicole. Pero nung araw na ‘yon,
iba eh. Ang clingy nya sa’kin. Pero sabi ko, baka emotional lang din s’ya nung time na yon
kaya hindi ko na masyado inisip. Tapos, tumanggi sya sa invite. Sabi ko, maybe they already
have plans, kaya rin siguro nagmamadali sila ng family nya umalis. Pero wala akong kaalam-
alam na ‘yon na pala ang huli naming pag-uusap. I never knew that her last ‘sorry’ was
literally the last.”

“The next thing I knew, umalis na raw sila ng bansa. Walang may alam kung nasan sila. Tila
ba bigla nalang silang naglaho. Kahit yung parents nya, walang nakakaalam kung saan sila.
Dun ko narealize na yung last hug, last kiss, and last farewell n’ya sakin? Literal na farewell
na pala.”

“So you have no news about her after that?” Aiah asked. It still puzzled her that Jhoanna once
told her that Colet was supposed to be dead.

“Wala talaga. Mga friends nya, friends ko, sina Loi, Jao, ate Gwen, ate Shar, kahit sila,
walang idea. Kahit kina tito at tita. Walang may alam kung nasaan buong family nya.”

“Kaso, dumating ang 2020. Finally, shet, may balita na about them. I should be happy, right?
But trust me. I just wished I hadn’t heard about it.”

Aiah can’t help but flinch. 2020 is such a painful year for her, for Mikha, and for everyone.
And apparently, for Jhoanna as well.

“Residency ko na nung time na yun. Syempre, malaking ospital ang Makati Med. Marami
yang connections. Lalo na’t nasa neuro ako. Mabilis ang balita.”

Flashback

2020, Makati Medical Center

Jhoanna stretched her arms after her afternoon rounds. It’s finally nearing the end of her shift.
She’s excited to tap out and just hit her bed. It’s also her day off tomorrow. More reason for
her to look forward to ending her shift that day.

“Done for the day?” Dr. Jea Salvador asked her junior.

“Yes, Doc Jea. Isosoli ko lang yung mga patient charts. Uwi na rin ako after.”

“Good! Pahinga ka na, dear. You’ve been overworking yourself. ‘Wag mo na ideny. I’m
monitoring your performance.”

Jhoanna sheepishly grinned. It’s not that she’s overworking herself. She just loves her job so
much.

“Sige po, bawasan ko onti kasipagan ko,” the both laughed and Jea rumpled her hair.

“Just look after yourself, okay? Gusto pa kitang makatrabaho for a long time.”

“Promise!”

Just as when she went back to their resident quarters, she heard some chatter from a few
distance away. She’s familiar with their faces as they’re the doctors from the Neuro
department, where she’s currently assigned.

“Uy, nabalitaan mo ba yung sa partner hospital natin ng Singapore?” one doctor said.

“Hala, totoo nga? Oh my god, I feel bad for him.”

“Yeah. No one knows what happened. Walang details na ni-release. Pero mag indefinite leave
daw si Dr. Vergara sa hospital. Dito raw muna kukuha ng temporary replacement.”

“Damn, kung kailan short tayo sa neurosurgeons.”

“I know! And besides, isa s’ya sa pinaka kilalang neurosurgeon dito. ‘Di ko alam kung kaya
ba nating ikeep yung rep nya.”

“For sure naman, mafifigure out na yan ng mga higher-ups. Marami naman tayong
magagaling na residents ngayon.”

Jhoanna still can’t figure out what exactly happened but one thing’s for sure. Something huge
happened in their Singapore partner hospital.

When she was about to walk away, one doctor spotted her.

“Doc Robles! Could you come here for a moment?”

She walked closer to the group of doctors.

The doctor who she recognized as one of the resident neurosurgeons then faced her.

“Doc Robles, I’m sure ibabalita rin sa’yo ‘to formally pero heads up-an lang kita since andito
ka na rin naman.”

“Oh, sure po. Ano pong meron?”

“You see, may nangyari lang sa Singapore partner natin and now, baka ipadala doon yung
mga top peforming neuro natin since big deal yung doktor na umalis. Marami ring biglang
nagresign pero the investigation is still ongoing.”

“Ano pong mangyayari dito?”

“I just wanna give you a heads up na baka they might send some residents to special trainings
so they could be ready at a faster phase. And as of now, ikaw yung best performer na resident
dito. Baka ikaw ang tutukan nila. Medyo nakakapressure s’ya pero wala tayong choice as of
now.”

Jhoanna suddenly felt the pressure that was put on her. She’s only in her second year of
residency so she didn’t expect things to go this way.

“Ano po mismong nangyari kung okay lang malaman?”

The doctor sighed. Well, she’ll find out about it anyway.

“‘Di ko sure if familiar ka kay Doctor Vergara. Isa sya sa pinakamagaling na neuro sa
Singapore. Balita is, namatay daw yung anak nya. Sobrang bigat non sa kanya since resident
doctor na rin yung anak nya. Pero there was no detail given about sa death nya. They kept it
confidential. Ayun, nag indefinite leave sya. Tapos, biglang mga nagresign yung ibang
surgeons dun.”

Jhoanna has heard of this Dr. Vergara before but she’s still clueless as to who this person they
are referring to.

“Dr. Vergara? Pinoy din po sya?”

“Yeah. He worked here before. I’m pretty sure narinig mo na pangalan nya around here dati
or kahit sa UST. Dr. Niko Vergara.”
The moment Jhoanna heard that name, she felt like all the air inside her lungs was taken out.

Vergara.

Dr. Vergara.

Dr. Niko Vergara.

His daughter died.

Nicole Vergara.

An only child.

Her father is Dr. Niko Vergara.

“Oh my God…” were the only words Aiah could utter. She’s baffled inside.
First, What the hell happened back then?

Second, how did Nicole Vergara die?

Third, if she’s dead, who is Colet Vergara?

Now, she finally understood why Jhoanna was like that. She literally saw a ghost. A person
that’s supposed to be dead. Of course, it’ll confuse and scare the hell out of the doctor. Even
for her, if she knew the story beforehand, she’d also be surprised at Colet’s sudden
appearance.

“But… she doesn’t recognize you.” Aiah was right on that. Colet was like a completely
different person.

“Exactly. Mismong ganon pa rin ang mukha nya pero sobrang ibang tao na sya.”

Both stayed quiet in the meantime, absorbing whatever situation they were in right now.

“You should take a proper rest, Jhoanna,” Aiah said as she stood up and collected the empty
bowl from the doctor.

“Paano ka pala?”

“Don’t worry about me. Afternoon pa naman schedule ko later. Shee’s in the hospital since
may work si Staku ngayon.”

In a way, Jhoanna’s still amazed as to how they managed to make it work. She knows
everyone is a busy person but never did she see Mikha left alone. Such a lucky woman, she
thought.
---

Morning came and she woke up at the sound of her alarm clock. She opened her eyes and
noticed that she was now inside her room, wearing her comfy pajamas.

"Nanaginip ba ako?" She still couldn't fully absorb whatever occurred a few hours ago. She's
not even sure if they were real.

Upon looking at her phone, she spotted a small piece of paper stuck underneath her phone.

[ I left once you fell asleep. Can't leave Shee for too long since she still has classes later.
Hope you're feeling better.

-Aiah]

"So totoo nga…"

It's the early hours in the morning and her mind's already buzzing with a lot of things. Well,
at least she escaped the hell of having a hangover thanks to Aiah's hangover soup.
"God, sana walang mangyaring kung ano ngayong araw."

JHOANNA’S POV:

Well, so much for hoping for a smooth day.

"We've been looking at it for a few days now and it's not looking promising," Doc Torres said
as he massaged his head.

"Yung best match na lumitaw dito sa Pinas is nasa 27% match lang. Not a really good figure
kung transplant ang pag-uusapan. Sa situation ni Ms. Lim, we needed to have at least 70%
match to call it safe."

“Sa mga ganitong cases, the best match we could probably find is her blood relative like
siblings or parents. Pero as you can see, medyo impossible in this situation. Based kay Ms.
Arceta, wala raw may alam kung nasaan ang kapatid nya.”

We've been looking for the best candidate for stem cell donor and so far, nothing really came
close with Mikha’s. This poses a huge problem for us because we need to do this procedure
as soon as her condition allows her to, but it can't be too late.
"How much time do we have?" I asked. I can feel my palms getting sweaty even though the
room's AC is on full blast.

"Not too much, unfortunately. Hopefully, magawa yung operation before the month ends.
Any later than that and hindi natin alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari. Hindi nga natin sure
kung aabot pa ba si Ms. Lim ng next month if I’m being honest here."

As much as I don't wanna admit it, that's the harsh reality of the situation we're in. At this
point, Mikha’s situation is a bit unpredictable so we really need to find a donor as soon as
possible. We don't know what might happen to her next month or next week. Heck, even
tomorrow, things can happen. And I just realized that it's the last week of the month.

Doc Cruz stood up with her hand massaging the bridge of her nose.

"I'll expand the searches. Hopefully, we can hear some news by the end of the week."

Once everything had been discussed, we wrapped up the meeting with hopeful faces.

Now, how do I explain these to Aiah and Stacey?

---
Somewhere in a hospital in Australia...

A knock was heard from his office door, distracting him from reading a medical report sent to
his email.

"Come in!"

With his cue, the door opened and a man in his rolled-up white shirt entered the door.

"Are you busy, Doc?"

The owner of the office then closed the lid of his laptop. "I got time. Anything up?"

"So I've heard that you refused to fly back to the Philippines."

"Craig, as much as I want to, you know I can't go back yet. You know the situation about my
daughter."

The younger of the two sighs. The older doctor already told him about his reason before. And
it frustrates him more that he knows why.

"Oh, right. But how are you assisting them?"

"I trust Doc Anna’s team. And so far, they've been doing a great job."
He then stood up from his chair and circled towards the front of his desk. He crossed his arms
and looked at Craig with curious eyes.

"Why the sudden curiosity about that, though? And you don't visit me when nothing's up."

Craig could only laugh. "You know me so well, Doc. Well, I trained under you so I guess
that's a factor. But you're right. I do have something to say which explains my visit."

"Go on."

"You see, I have this friend who I met during one of his therapies here before. He's also
Filipino, like you. He then told me stories about his past, his reason for his stay here, those
things."

He continued, "But then, one name rang a bell in my head. The reason why he's doing his
best to fix himself. And I'm sure I've heard of that name before from you so I told him about
you. Now, he's pretty eager to meet you, saying that he's the only close relative alive of the
girl."

The doctor looked at him seriously. He knows Craig might be onto something.

"Girl? What's this girl's name?"

Craig looks up, racking his brain to recall his memories, until a light bulb lit inside his mind.

"The girl’s his sister. Mikha. Mikha Lim."

##
 It's Okay to Cry Sometimes
Chapter Summary

They finally found a match; Stacey finally letting her walls down;

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

IT'S OKAY TO CRY SOMETIMES

STACEY’S POV:

At times like this, I can confidently say that I'm already used to ate Aiah getting emotional
whenever we receive updates regarding Mikha’s condition. It's as if I'm programmed to
anticipate her breakdown and be there to comfort her.

But right now, seeing how calm she is now…

This actually scares me more. Because I don’t really know what to expect.

"Thank you for the update, Doc Robles," I said and gave her a bow. Ate Aiah did the same.
I observed the doctor slowly. Seeing how tired her eyes are, I know there are a lot of things
bothering her right now, and not just about things in the hospital. Her eyes reflect her
emotions. And I can also tell from her overall aura.

Not only her. I've also noticed something shifted with ate Aiah. I wonder what happened with
these two?

"’Wag kayo mag-alala. We're doing the best we can para makahanap ng suitable donor. Pero
as much as I want to say na magiging okay din ang lahat, mahirap s’ya sabihin at this point. I
hope na prepared kayo sa kung ano mang pwedeng mangyari."

"Alam naman naming ginagawa nyo ang lahat kaya sobrang grateful pa rin kami. Thank you
so much."

Without another word, Doc Robles nodded her farewell to us but did not leave without that
lingering stare at ate Aiah. I looked at her and she's also staring at her.

"Ate, anong nangyari? I remember, sobrang panic mo kagabi pagtatanong ng address ni Doc
Robles."

I observed her from my seat. I can tell that she didn't have enough sleep earlier. I have also
heard from Sheena that she had to substitute for her for a moment. It also seems like a lot is
going on inside her mind.

"Ah, oo nga pala. She was in her apartment naman. She forgot to charge her phone."

Wait…That's it?

"Huh? Yun na yon?"

She shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Well, we talked for a bit, then I went back here since
Sheena still has class."

Fuck. She's doing it again.

She's bottling things to herself again.

"Ate Aiah…"

She suddenly stood up and then picked up a file case inside her bag.

"Punta ka sa studio now, right? Could you give this to Ms. Luna? I forgot to give these
photographs to her last time."

"U-uh sure…"

"Thanks, Staku."

NO ONE’S POV:
Stacey was wiping her lens absentmindedly while thinking about the events in the hospital
earlier. For her, everyone felt different. It's like something happened.

"Ms. Stacey, okay ka lang?" Cess, her assistant photographer, asked. This brought her mind
back to reality.

"H-huh? A-ah, oo naman. Bakit?"

"Uhm, napansin ko lang po, kanina mo pa yan pinupunasan. Parang medyo natutulala na rin
kayo dyan."

Stacey can only sigh. She knows things are already affecting her in ways that can be visible
to others.

"Hmm, ano lang, may mga nangyayaring hindi maganda. Alam mo naman yung situation
nung friend kong nasa ospital ngayon, di ‘ba?"

"Oh, kaya pala pati si Ms. Aiah kanina, medyo parang wala rin sa sarili. Sobrang tahimik din
nya kahit kay Ms. Colet. Medyo mailap s’ya sa tao lately. And to think na naging close na
sila recently."

"Sana hindi s’ya nagcacause ng any issues. Pero I also hope na you understand her situation.
Ginagawa naman nya ang best nya."

Cess panicked a little, "Ay, hindi naman po! Never naman po nagka-issue whatsoever. ‘Wag
po kayo mag-alala. Napansin ko lang po kasi and hindi ko maiwasan mag-alala sa kanya.
Kita ko naman po kung paano nya pinipilit maging professional pero may makakapansin pa
rin talaga na problemado sya."
Stacey let go of the camera lens she'd been holding for the past fifteen minutes and took a
seat in her chair. How can she explain stuff when she's also lost?

"To be honest, Cess, pareho lang tayo ditong nanghuhula. Bukod nga dun sa nangyayari kay
Mikhs ngayon, hindi ko rin sure kung may iba pa ba s’yang iniisip. Hindi naman kami
nakakapag-usap masyado since salitan kami ng schedule. Pero yun, may pinoproblema
s’yang hindi ko rin alam kung ano. Pero sana lang, mag reach out s’ya pag hindi na nya kaya.
Ako nahihirapan para sa kanya."

---

"Okay, one last pose! One, two, *click*"

Aiah then motioned to Colet that the shoot was done and that she could change to comfy
clothes.

Meanwhile, she just stood there in front of the iMac staring at the shots.

She's supposed to be reviewing these so that they can reshoot immediately if something is
off.

But she's just there, staring. With every picture, she stared at her model's face, thinking about
how this person could completely forget everything that happened in the past.

Back at Jhoanna's apartment, they talked for a bit, with Jhoanna telling her how she and
Nicole came about. So she has a good idea of just how precious Nicole is to the doctor.
But seeing Colet now after knowing those things about her, she can't help but think. And the
fact that no one knows what happened stresses her out even if it’s not supposed to be her
problem in the first place.

"Ms. Aiah, eto na po yung printouts ng mga photos kanina. Sinama ko na rin po yung contact
sheet for reviewing," Cess gave her a folder containing the printouts she requested earlier.

"Thanks…"

Cess noticed the distant look in the photographer's eyes. She knows that Aiah isn't her usual
self. She's also been awfully quiet when on breaks and such, unlike before when she'd be
talking with Colet. But of course, she doesn't want to intrude or anything. So she kept these
observations to herself.

"Gusto nyo po ng tea? Or kahit anong drinks?" She offered. She could only do much without
sounding nosy.

"I'm… good. Paalis na rin naman ako maya-maya. Thanks for the help, Cess."

"Uh… sure."

---

Stacey had just gone out of Ms, Luna's office when she bumped into someone.
"Ooff… Hala shocks, sorry! Hindi ako nakatingin sa–"

"Ay, okay lang, Ms. Stacey. Hindi rin ako nakatingin. Sorry din."

They were then wrapped in awkward silence.

Stacey just gave an awkward bow and was about to leave when she heard the other person
call her.

"Ms. Stacey?" She stopped in her tracks.

"Yes, Ms. Colet?"

Hesitation was obvious on the latter's face. She's pondering whether to ask or not. Now,
Stacey wonders what it could be.

"Uh… Alam kong medyo random ‘to pero tanong ko lang sana kung okay lang si Ms. Aiah?
Medyo iba aura nya kanina eh. Alam kong close kayo so baka lang may idea ka. Though gets
ko naman if it’s something private and hindi pwedeng i-share."

Stacey felt bad for the model. Colet looks genuinely concerned for her friend. And with what
Cess told her previously, it must've been weird for Colet that Aiah suddenly became so quiet
around her.

"Ms. Colet, kahit gusto kong sagutin yang tanong mo, kahit ako actually, hindi ko na rin alam
kung anong nangyayari sa kanya eh. Wala s’yang nakekwento sa’kin na kahit ano.”

“Oh, ganun ba?” her face fell more with Stacey’s answer. “Hay, sana lang maging okay na rin
s’ya soon.”
“Sana nga talaga.”

---

"Doc Jho, narinig mo na yung balita?" Jea stated as she entered the former's office.

"Balita about…?"

She hasn't been much in contact with the others recently, keeping herself all cooped up inside
her office when not on rounds. So she's not sure what Jea was referring to.

"Tumawag si Doc Cruz kanina. Sabi nya, may nakita silang potential donor pero tinetest pa
nila if papasa. Malalaman results this weekend."

That little news she received, somehow elevated her mood, but just a little. They still don't
know how well it'll match so she can't get her hopes up.

"Tingin mo ba, Doc, eto na kaya yun?" She asked softly.

"Well, hindi ko pa rin talaga naririnig buong details pero sa tono ng boses nya kanina, parang
malaki ang kumpyansa nyang eto na talaga yun."

"Sana talaga…"
Seeing that Jhoanna's been staring into nothingness, Jea closed the door and sat in front of the
doctor. "Jhoanna, you seem distracted."

Jhoanna knew that Jea’s talking to her as a friend and a sister with the use of her actual name.
And she knows that Jea is serious about it.

"Ano… ate, what do you do when you finally meet someone you've been missing for a very
long time? Pero ang catch is hindi ka nya maalala completely."

Jea made a low 'hmm' sound, thinking carefully of her answer.

"Well, for starters, gaano kalala yung condition na hindi ka nya maalala?"

"Let's say na may bago na talaga silang identity. Bagong name, bagong buhay. Like, ang
naretain lang talaga is yung mukha nya."

"Oh… so an extreme case…" Jea paused for a bit thinking of the situation.

"Kung ako yun, well, kung ako lang naman, I think hahayaan ko nalang yung situation.
There's probably a reason why they forgot. From a medical standpoint, possible na cause ay
trauma, PTSD, or amnesia. There could be a lot of reasons. So it just means that forcing them
to remember will greatly stress them out. Baka lalo pang maka-cause ng mas malalang
psychological damage if severe. Posible namang bumalik alaala nila, pwedeng matagal na
proseso lang, or pwede ring totally wala na yung memories nila."

“Hmm, may point naman…" Jhoanna answered weakly. From the causes that Jea mentioned,
she for sure doesn't know which one since she doesn't even know what exactly happened.

“Kung pareho naman kayong masaya as it is in the present, mas okay nang ‘wag pilitin na
ibalik ang nakaraan. They're probably in that healing process. They're building new
memories, overwriting the forgotten ones. Pero kung gusto mo talagang magreconnect with
them again, simula ka sa simula. ‘Wag mo nang ibalik yung nakaaran na maaaring makasakit
sa kanila. Create new memories with them. Para bang ano, magrerestart kayo ng friendship
nyo."

"Pero paano if along the way, bigla silang makaalala?"

Jea gave a smile. "That means your past self created a great impact that even trauma can't
erase. Nakabaon lang siguro deep down, nag-aantay lang na matrigger.”

Before Jhoanna could speak, she noticed the curious eyes of her senior.

“If you don’t mind, may specific ka bang taong tinutukoy?”

Jhoanna knows for sure that Jea must’ve heard about Nicole before, being in the same
hospital and all.

“Tanda mo ba yung nangyari last 2020? Yung anak ni Dr. Vergara?”

“Dr. Niko Vergara? Yung sa Singapore?” Jhoanna nodded.

“Ahh, oo. Namatay yung anak nya, di ‘ba? Although hindi na-publicize yung nangyari dun
kaya hindi ko na rin alam kung anong nangyari after.”

Now, Jhoanna’s sure that her next words will come as a surprise for the other.

“That’s the thing. Buhay sya.”

“Ha? Yung anak?” Jea definitely didn’t expect that. But she figured that whatever happened
before, there’s a reason why it wasn’t publicized.

“Oo, kaso…” there was a long pause. Instead of waiting for Jhoanna, Jea finished her
sentence.

“Hmmm, hula lang ha. Pero s’ya ba yung sinasabi mong walang maalala? Yung parang ibang
tao?”

She could only nod.

Jea heaved a sigh. It must be hard for her junior. She doesn’t fully know the extent of the
relationship Jhoanna had with the woman but just knowing that they have a connection pains
her already.

“Well, same pa rin naman yung advice ko. Kung okay naman na yung buhay nya ngayon,
hayaan mo nalang muna. For sure, may rason naman bakit naging ganito ang mga
pangyayari. Pero ikaw, for sure mahirap sa part mo lalo na kung magkita kayo. Hindi natin
sure kung babalik pa memories nya pero mas okay na rin na handa ka. Pero as of now, focus
ka sa present mo. Focus on her, kung plano mong i-push yang nararamdaman mo sa kanya.”

Jhoanna suddenly became confused. “Her? Si Colet? Ano?”

Instead of a verbal answer, Jea only shook her head and gave her a teasing smile. “Sus, alam
mo kung sino yung tinutukoy ko. Don’t me.”

“Anyways, oras na ulit ng rounds ko. See you later!”

“Wait! Anong ibig mong sabi–” Jea has already left even before she could ask for an
explanation about her last statement.
“What does she mean by her ? What the heck, Jea?”

---

Days went by too fast and the next thing they knew, it was already the weekend. This could
be the day that can either make them or break them.

“Wala pa rin?” she asked anxiously.

“Sabi, within the day daw pero wala naman sinabing oras.”

Jhoanna could only breathe in deeply. This day honestly feels longer than how the week went
by.

And as if things weren’t bad enough, the intercom suddenly beeped, indicating an incoming
call.

“Code Blue, room 127. Patient Mikha Lim…”

The doctors inside the room looked at each other worriedly. This is the last thing they wanted
to happen while waiting for the result. Because no one knows what will happen next.
As soon as they arrived at the room, she saw Stacey with her phone clutching it uneasily. She
heaved a sigh of relief once she saw the nurses arrive.

“Anong nangyari?”

“D-di ko sure. Biglang tumunog yung machine tapos bumababa yung mga numbers. Alam
kong hindi dapat ‘to nangyayari.”

“She’s experiencing respiratory arrest, Doc. Ini-stabilize na namin ngayon.”

Jhoanna nodded at the nurses. It’s a good thing Stacey was able to call for help immediately.
Who knows what could’ve happened if she was a minute too late?

“Thank you for the quick response, Ms. Sevilleja. It could’ve been fatal kung hindi agad s’ya
na-stabilize.”

“Diyos kong mahabagin…” she slumped herself on the couch, relief washing all over her.
She’s been anxious ever since she heard the machines beeping irregularly.

“May balita na po ba sa donor?”

Jhoanna looked sideways, and Stacey already knew what that meant. But either way, she
didn’t exactly hope for anything. But some good news would be delightful.

“Don’t worry, Ms. Sevilleja. Lahat ng posibleng hanapan, tinitingnan na namin. As of now,
may nagnotify samin from Australia na posibleng meron s’yang ka-match dun.”

“Okay lang bang umasa?” Stacey asked, with her voice cracking a bit. She already knows
that in their situation right now, it seems like good news is something out of reach.
“Uh…”

And right on cue, Jhoanna’s pager beeped.

[Meeting at Con room 21B. Please come asap.] - Doc Cruz

Jhoanna stared at her beeper for a few seconds. Could this be it? Are the results out? That’s
the only possible reason Doc Cruz will call a meeting this urgent.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Sevilleja, pero kailangan ko lang umalis saglit. I’ll inform you agad pag may
balita na, okay?”

“Sige po, Doc Robles. Thank you.”

Inside the meeting room, everyone is quiet, patiently waiting for Zoom to connect. The
Australian hospital has given a call earlier requesting an emergency meeting. Every one of
them knows what this is about. The nerve-wracking thing is that no one knows what to
expect.

The screen then came alive and a man in his 50s appeared on the screen.

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

“Yes, Dr. Vergara.”

“Great.”
Jhoanna started analyzing his expression. From what she can see, the doctor isn’t too
distressed or anxious. So can there be some good news waiting ahead?

“I’ll go straight to the point here. The reason I requested this meeting is that we finally have
the results of the donor's compatibility with Ms. Lim.”

He then opened an envelope right in front of them, multiplying their anxiousness by tenfold.

Immediately, Jhoanna saw a small smile on his face. Is this really it?

“I am ecstatic to tell you that we got the desired result of a 97% match. The donor has agreed
beforehand to the immediate procedure once the result is out and good. So you can expect the
donor cell to be delivered no later than 9 am, Philippine time tomorrow.”

Everyone gave out a sigh of relief, especially Jhoanna. Finally, she can see the light at the end
of the tunnel getting closer.

“That’s great news! Ang galing lang. Sobrang close match ni Ms. Lim.”

The elderly doctor laughed a bit. “You know, the funny thing is he actually found us. In some
way.”

Everyone was now all smiling. After weeks of stress and anxiety, maybe things are heading
in the right direction.

“That’s all I got for you, guys. I’m hoping for the best. I’ll be in contact with Doc Anna
constantly. Thank you.”
Jhoanna smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. Maybe not everything’s going
downhill. Maybe, they’re finally climbing back up.

For sure, Aiah and Stacey will be thrilled to hear this.

---

Right after the meeting, she headed straight to Mikha’s room, knowing full well that Stacey
must have been tired after today. Perhaps some good news could help her.

She knocked twice before pushing the door open slightly, only enough for her to peek inside.
It’s around six in the afternoon so she’s sure that it’s still Stacey who’s around.

“Ms. Sevilleja?” to be honest, she’s expecting Stacey to be sleeping or resting that’s why she
called softly. But to her surprise, the woman’s sitting right beside Mikha’s bed, holding her
hand tightly close to her face, as if she’s praying. Jhoanna also noticed that her eyes were red
and moist, which she thought she probably cried.

She entered slowly instead, so as not to surprise the woman with her presence. She can see
how focused she is on the patient’s face, slowly tracing her brows down to her cheeks.

“Uh, Ms. Sevilleja?”

Immediately, Stacey let go of Mikha’s face and stood up straight, as if being caught doing
something she shouldn’t. With this, Jhoanna refrained from commenting about it.
“I hope hindi naman ako nakakaabala or anything.”

“Ah, ano… wala naman. Inaantay ko lang si ate Aiah dumating.”

“Okay…”

It was an awkward silence for a moment until Stacey cleared her throat.

“Uh, ichecheck mo ba ulit si Mikhs?”

Right. Why was she here again?

“Ah, yes. Ichecheck ko nga.”

Stacey stepped aside for a moment, with her eyes still on the patient. She watched as Jhoanna
checked on Mikha’s stats, noting how Jhoanna nodded from time to time. This somehow
eases her insides.

“So far, everything’s normal naman. That’s a good sign.”

‘Thank goodness…”

Jhoanna just stood there, making Stacey wonder, “Uhm, may something ba?”

“Actually, I have some news.”

Jhoanna breathes in deeply before giving a small smile. “The results are out.”
Even without hearing the rest, Stacey could only guess that it’d be good news with how
Jhoanna’s already smiling right now.

“So you mean…”

“Yes, we found the perfect donor, Ms. Sevilleja. 97% match. And willing yung donor gawin
agad yung procedure so we’ll be expecting the donor cell by tomorrow.”

No words can express Stacey’s feelings right now. Without missing a beat, she immediately
hugged the doctor into a tight one, with her tears spilling once again, but this time, they were
happy tears.

“Doc Robles, t-totoo ba ‘to?”

Jhoanna could only pat her back as she cried, “Earlier, may meeting kami with our Australian
partner. Sabi nila, yung donor mismo ang lumapit sa kanila. Kaya pumayag agad s’ya na
gawin yung procedure once maconfirm na match sila. So yes, we’re doing the operation
tomorrow.”

They continued like that for a while as Jhoanna attempted to calm Stacey down. Meanwhile,
Aiah’s figure appeared by the opened door. She was about to speak when Jhoanna motioned
her finger near her lips, telling her to wait.

Aiah can hear Stacey’s sniffs from the door even if the younger’s back is facing her. She was
initially confused and scared, but Jhoanna’s smile, it has somehow eased her mind.

As Stacey let go, she continuously wiped her tears away. “Hala, sorry doc! Nabasa pa coat
mo. Pero grabe, sobrang saya ko lang talaga sa balita. Sobrang bigat lang kasi lately kaya iba
yung feeling pag may magandang balitang dumarating.”
“It’s okay, Ms. Sevilleja. Kailangan mo rin yan ilabas once in a while.”

Aiah observed the two, especially her friend. She then signaled Jhoanna that she’ll go out for
a bit. But in truth, she just moved out of view and slumped herself on the wall beside the
door.

“It’s just… I can’t believe na may chance na talagang makasurvive si Mikhs,” new tears are
now forming in the corners of Stacey’s eyes, making Jhoanna giggle at the sight. She has
never seen Stacey this emotional. Maybe the events from this morning somehow triggered all
her concealed emotions.

“Gagawin namin ang lahat para kay Ms. Lim, ayan ang maipapangako ko sa’yo. Malaki ang
tiwala ko sa team ni Doc Cruz and for sure, nasa mabuting kamay si Ms. Lim. Kaya let’s trust
on that, okay?”

“Grabe, sobrang thankful lang ako sa team nyo, Doc Robles. Alam mo yung kahit tinanggap
ko na yung possibility na mawala s’ya sa’min dati, may part pa rin sa’kin na umaasang
gagaling pa rin s’ya? S-sobrang dami kong gustong sabihin kay Mikhs…”

Just outside the room, Aiah can hear everything. She knows what’s going on inside Stacey’s
head. And for some reason, she feels relieved. She just feels relieved to see Stacey finally
looking at the light, and finally being honest with herself. She knows that whenever she’s in
front of the younger, the latter keeps a strong facade for her. If she’s used to bottling her
emotions, Stacey’s used to controlling her emotions to some extent. To the point that she
sometimes isn’t being honest with what she truly feels. And hearing Stacey’s honest feelings
right now brings a smile to her face.

But still, she’s quite clueless as to what’s happening, so she fetched her phone and texted the
doctor instead.

[Dinner? Don’t tell Staku muna that I’m here.] - Aiah

She saw the doctor check her phone with a tiny smile on her face. She then felt her phone
vibrate.

[Sure :) May balita rin ako. Kita tayo sa lobby in a few.] - Doc Robles

Quietly, Aiah made her way toward the lobby without making her presence known to Stacey.
A few minutes later, the doctor followed.

“Let’s go?”

---

They’re back at the restaurant near the hospital where they once ate. Aiah has been silently
staring at the doctor with curious eyes.

“So?”
“Hmm?”

“You said you have something to tell me.”

“Ay, oo nga!” Jhoanna giggled a bit before putting her spoon down.

“Earlier, we had a meeting with our Australian partner. May nakita nang donor and guess
what? 97% match!”

Aiah looked at her blankly for a moment before her face started changing expressions with
every second, slowly absorbing whatever Jhoanna had just told her.

“OH MY GOD, SERYOSO?! No wonder sobrang emotional ni Staku kanina…”

“Well, actually, earlier kanina, nagka respiratory arrest si Ms. Lim pero thank God,
nakatawag agad ng nurse si Ms. Sevilleja. Na-stabilize agad s’ya. Sobrang dami rin sigurong
nangyari ngayong araw kaya ganun nalang reaction ni Ms. Sevilleja.”

Aiah breathed in deeply after hearing the news. Well, the good thing is that Mikha’s
stabilized and has a donor already.

“Pero curious ako, Ms. Arce–”

“Aiah. We’re practically having dinner. It’s awkward with Ms. Arceta.”

Jhoanna only scratched her head. “Ay, oo nga pala. Sorry hehe. Pero ayun, as I was saying,
curious ako.”
“About?”

“Yung kanina. ‘Di ka pumasok ng room nung nakita mong nakayakap si Ms. Sevilleja sa’kin.
Sabi mo rin, ‘wag kong sabihing dumating ka na. Anong meron?”

“I just want her to have her moment.” Jhoanna didn’t expect her answer. But what was she
expecting, anyway? She kept quiet, waiting for Aiah to continue.

“I can see how she always stays strong for me. I really appreciate her for that. I know naman
na between us, she’s the stronger one emotionally. So whenever we’re both in an emotional
situation, she’ll keep herself checked para may masasandalan ako. Pero I know naman na pag
wala ako, she has her moments. Saka nya nilalabas lahat pag nag-iisa s’ya. So I just let her.
And now that I know what she truly feels for Mikha, I just can’t take her moment away from
her. Gets mo ba?”

“Wait, si Ms. Sevilleja at Ms. Lim…?”

Aiah only smiled. “That day after mo s’ya kabitan ng tracheal tube, when she slapped me, she
admitted what she truly felt for Mikha. I know that it should hurt me in a way because Mikhs
was mine. Pero nung nalaman ko na she loved her? I actually felt relieved.”

“That’s… hindi ko alam sasabihin ko…”

Aiah only shrugged her shoulders. “If I’m being honest, kami ni Mikha, I realized that we fell
out of love even before all these happened. I’ve been reflecting a lot in the past few days–
about what I actually feel, about my actions, my decisions. You remember my story about
why I left the country?”

Jhoanna nodded.

“So yeah. I guess whatever I’m feeling right now for Mikhs, it’s because she’s still a part of
my life. Sobrang tagal na naming magkakilala so we have that attachment, regardless if we’re
together or not. Same lang with Staku. Plus, the guilt, you know…”

“Okay, I think I get it.”

“And knowing that Staku’s still there, and if her feelings are still there, I think it’s safe to say
na if ever Mikha really decided to come back to us, there’s someone who’ll be there for her
ready to welcome her heart once again.”

Jhoanna noticed the sadness in Aiah’s eyes when she said those.

“Sinisisi mo pa rin ba ang sarili mo?”

Aiah sighs, “I’m trying not to.”

Jhoanna only raised her brow.

“It’s just… I know hindi ko na maibibigay kay Mikha kung ano mang ineexpect nya from
me. I don’t know how she’ll take Staku’s feelings pero knowing those two, I’m sure that
they’ll come around eventually.”

Jhoanna looked at Aiah with admiration in her eyes.

“Alam mo, I’m actually fascinated sa dynamics nyong tatlo. ‘Di ko ma-explain eh. Pero sa
nakita ko, despite sa lahat ng nangyari, wala akong nakitang hatred sa inyo. Walang
nagsisisihan sa inyo, although hindi rin naman maganda mag self-blame. I mean, yung
reaction naman ni Ms. Lim sa pag-alis mo, inevitable na yun. But I don’t think she hated you.
Nasaktan s’ya, but that doesn’t necessarily mean na she hates you. Sobrang unfortunate lang
talaga ng mga nangyari sa kanya kaya expected na yung chaos sa emotions nya. Pero sa totoo
lang? What she hated is the predicament, not the people.”
 Hearing that from Jhoanna made Aiah glad. Even with what happened between her and
Mikha, the last thing she wants is hatred in their hearts. If she ever has a chance to have a
proper breakup with Mikha in the future, she wants it to have a proper closure without
misunderstandings. She wants answers to all the whys between them. But more importantly,
Mikha is family, much like how Stacey is to her, and even Sheena. They’re her family. And
she wants to keep it that way.

“I hope so, Jhoanna… I really hope so.”

##

Chapter End Notes

'Di naman halatang gusto ko na rin s'ya matapos, no? hahaha (onti nalang naman s'ya,
guys)

I'm sure some of you will be able to figure out sino yung donor hahaha (may mga clues
from previous chapters)
 Closing the Chapters of the Past
Chapter Summary

What will happen when Jhoanna meets her past lover once again?

Chapter Notes

Mag-uupdate while ongoing OT right now 🥲 anong holiday holiday?

See the end of the chapter for more notes

CLOSING THE CHAPTERS OF THE PAST

It’s one of those cold nights here in Makati. Weather reports said that a storm is brewing not
too far from the region so that might have caused it. But that doesn’t stop Jhoanna from
staying out after her shift.

Right after her dinner with Aiah, and after walking her back to the hospital, she didn’t stay
long and went to her truck immediately. She’s becoming restless just keeping her foot inside
of that place for another second. Guess the operation tomorrow will keep her restless for the
night.

The cold air surrounds her, like the coldness of the bottle of beer in her hands.

She’s been sitting on the deck of her truck for about an hour, chugging on her beer, parked
near an open park somewhere in the city. She shouldn’t be doing this. No, really. She
shouldn’t. But she needed to release herself from the stress even just for tonight.
She inhales deeply, thinking about her patient, about Stacey, about Aiah.

In her years of being a doctor, she’s never been this… invested in her patient’s situation
before.

Did that night in London have something to do with this?

Yes? No? Probably? She doesn’t know. But either way, she can’t do anything about it now.

Her mind then went back to her conversation with Jea.

What does she mean by her ? Was she referring to Aiah? Can Jea see something that she
can’t?

But that aside, Jea’s right about Nico– no, Colet.

If she wants to coexist peacefully with her, she needs to accept that the past has long been
forgotten.

And as if fate wants to test her…

She heard the sound of a guitar not too far from where she was. Turning her head to the
source, she saw a somewhat familiar figure sitting on the ground clutching her guitar.

Even with the alcohol in her system, she can’t be wrong about who that figure belongs to,
even if the person is facing back at her.

Plus, that voice. Even after all these years, she can’t forget that voice, ever.
She jumped down from the bed of her truck and unconsciously walked closer to the
unsuspecting woman. Bit by bit, step by step. She also began humming the song she’s been
playing.

After some time, the woman finally noticed her lone audience standing not too far from her.
She should be creeped out. But seeing the familiar face that she had seen once, she instead
gave a small smile.

“Uy, doc! Ikaw pala yan, yung friend ni Aiah, no?” Colet asked innocently. Jhoanna had to
hold herself together.

“Y-yeah. Ako nga. Sorry kung bigla akong umalis that time. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

Colet then stood up, placing her guitar down on the ground. “Okay lang yun. Gets ko naman
trabaho ng mga doktor. I’ve heard stories.”

The more Jhoanna hears Colet talk, the more it confuses her.

Wasn’t she a doctor before? Isn’t her dad a doctor? But why does she sound like she only
knows them from stories?

“Thanks for understanding, Nic-Colet. Okay lang bang Colet tawag ko sa’yo?” the model
happily nodded.

They both settled themselves on a nearby bench, sitting a full meter away from each other.

“Ba’t ka pala andito, doc? At nag-iinom ka pa. Okay ka lang?”

Is she okay? How does she answer that?

“Parang need ko lang mag loosen up tonight.”

“Oh, big day bukas?”

Jhoanna just shrugged. “Hmm, ganun na nga. Literal life or death operation.”

She observed Colet’s reaction, who was now looking up with a hand on her chin.

“Grabe, parang ‘di ko maimagine. Parang ‘di ko maisip na ipagkakatiwala sa akin yung
ganung kabigat na bagay, lalo pa’t buhay ng tao ang usapan. Parang ‘di ko kakayanin.”

With that answer, Jhoanna can only look at her, eyes wide, mouth a bit agape.

Why does the person in front of her right now talk as if she never dreamt of being a doctor?
This is all too contradicting to the past.

“Ano ibig mong sabihin?”

“I mean, ikaw bilang doktor, or kahit sinong doktor pa, hawak nyo ang buhay ng mga
pasyente nyo. Parang sobrang bigat nung responsibilidad na nakaatang sa inyo. Hindi ko
kakayanin yung ganyang kalaking responsibility.”

With every statement Colet spouts, the more Jhoanna sees that this person in front of her is a
completely different person than how she knew her.

“Well, parang ganun na nga. And tama ka naman. May malaki ngang operation bukas,
although hindi naman ako yung mismong gagawa, but still, pasyente ko yun eh. Tsaka
nakakatakot lalo’t utak ang gagalawin dito.”
“Ayan, na-gets ko yan.” Colet smiled, “Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong nangyari sa’kin.
Pero since nagte-therapy ako, inassume ko nalang na may nangyari sa utak ko. And given na
wala talaga ako maalala kahit ano, Sure na talagang may problema utak ko.”

“Never ka bang na-curious at some point?” Jhoanna asked. From her experience, a lot of
patients who suffer amnesia try to remember their past. Some succeed, some fail.

“‘Di ko naman itatanggi. Sobrang na curious ako nung una. Pero si mama, every time
magtatanong ako sa kanya, bigla nalang manggigilid mga luha nya sa mata. So since then,
tumigil na ako magtanong. S'ya na nga lang ang meron ako tapos, papaiyakin ko pa? Kami
nalang dalawa eh. And kung yung paglimot sa past ko ang makakapagpagaan ng loob nya,
masaya na ako dun.”

Is she hearing this right? So does this mean that she doesn’t know about her father?

“Eh yung papa mo?” a very risky question, but she gambled anyway.

“Hindi ko alam eh. Nung nagkamalay ako, never naman nila namention anything about sa
tatay ko. Wala ring kahit anong pictures sa bahay so inassume ko nalang na wala na s'ya or
tinakasan nya responsibility nya nung pinanganak ako. Pero ‘di naman ako galit. Hindi ko rin
naman kasi alam kung ano talagang nangyari eh so medyo senseless kung basta basta nalang
ako magagalit, di ‘ba?”

Jhoanna can only nod. So, to sum things up, she doesn’t know Dr. Vergara’s existence as her
father.

“Hirap siguro ng situation mo, no?” she took a swig of her bottle before looking upfront. She
doesn’t want to show her emotions fully to Colet. She’s not ready yet.

“Mahirap naman para sa lahat. Kung iisipin mo nga, parang ako pa yung maswerte eh. Hindi
ko na maalala yung sakit na dinanas ko nung nakaraan. And who knows? Baka mamaya, may
naiwan pala akong mahal sa buhay dati. Masakit yun sa part nila. Eh ako, hindi ko na nga
maalala kung sino or nasaan sila eh. Paano nalang kung nagkita na pala kami pero hindi ko
pa alam? Ako, hindi ko need alalahanin kasi hindi ko nga alam na sila na pala yun. Pero para
sa kanila, bitbit nila yung bigat ng nakaraan, lalo na't nakita pa nila ako e ‘di lalong mas
masakit para sa kanila. Kaya kung tutuusin, ako pa yung swerte kasi hindi ko na maalala
yung sakit.”

You met me, alright. And it’s really painful for me to face you like a stranger.

“You have a point.”

Jhoanna grabbed another unopened bottle beside her. “Drink?”

Colet kindly rejected it. “Okay lang ako. Eh ikaw, doc. ‘Di ba magdadrive ka pa?”

She only laughed. That’s right. She really shouldn’t be doing this. And it’s her third bottle.

“Alam mo, Doc? Iwan mo nalang yung sasakyan mo sa parking namin. Balikan mo nalang
bukas. Grab ka nalang pauwi. ‘Di naman na malayo office namin dito.”

“Mukhang ganun na nga gagawin ko.”

A whole minute of silence went by, with Jhoanna appreciating her drink and Colet
appreciating the view.

“Kayo ni Aiah, close kayo, no?”

Jhoanna looked at her. “Ah, oo. Nagmeet kami sa hospital a few months ago.”

“Pasyente mo rin ba s'ya?” Colet is a curious one, Jhoanna can tell.

“No. Actually, yung ex nya yung pasyente ko. Medyo complicated pero ganun kami
nagkakilala.”

Of course, I won’t be saying how we met in London.

“Hmm… kaya siguro ang lungkot nya these days,” it’s more of Colet talking to herself at this
point.

“Naging close kami ni Aiah netong mga nakaraang linggo. Sobrang laking tulong nya para
makapag-adjust ako dito sa Manila. Sakto pang pareho kaming Bisdak so nakakapag-usap
kami ng Bisaya. In a way, naging friends na rin kami. Pero yun nga, lately iba s'ya. Sobrang
tahimik sa shoot namin. Pero siguro, dahil nga rin sa nangyayari sa kanila ngayon, no?”

She could only nod. She doesn’t really know exactly how Aiah acts around other people so
she can’t tell.

“Yeah, she could use a friend these days. Mukha lang s'yang strong pero pinipilit lang nya
‘wag mag break down sa harap ng iba,” Jhoanna dropped her head down, “Though sana, may
maitulong ako,” she said the last words more to herself but Colet heard her anyway.

“May times,” panimula ni Colet, “pag kumakain kami ng lunch. Pag open nya ng packed
lunch nya, mapapangiti s'ya tapos sasabihin nya, ‘ay wow, she cooked the eggs the way I liked
it,’ tapos mapapangiti na s'ya sa mga ganung bagay. Tinanong ko s'ya once kung saan nya
binibili food nya. Pero sabi nya, luto raw ng doctor friend nya. Ayaw daw nya kasing
nagsskip s’ya ng meal kaya nilulutuan s'ya ng food. At hula ko lang naman, na baka ikaw
yung sinasabi nyang friend after kita mameet dun sa cafe. So trust me pag sinabi kong
napapasaya mo s'ya kahit sa mga maliliit na bagay. You make her smile again.”

Jhoanna finds it funny, really. Hearing those coming from her past lover’s mouth, it’s really
weird for her. But at the same time, it makes her smile. She doesn’t really know to what
extent is her affects Aiah but knowing things like these, it makes her heart skip a bit.
“Maybe I do…”

Colet then stood up suddenly, grabbing the bottle of beer away from her hands, “See? May
tiwala s'ya sa'yo. Kaya dapat, hindi ka mukhang stressed at pagod bukas. Tingin ko naman,
never ka nyang sisisihin sa kung ano mang mangyayari bukas, lalo pa't kita naman nya up to
what extent ang kaya mong gawin para matulungan sila. Alam nyang ginagawa mo naman
ang lahat at okay na yun. Sobrang laking tulong mo sa kanila.”

“Buti naman kung ganon…”

“Eh bakit bagsak pa rin mata mo? Dami mo rin siguro talaga iniisip, no?”

Should Jhoanna tell her? Jea's words echoed in her head once again.

Just let her be.

“‘De, ano lang. May bigla lang akong naalalang tao. Namiss ko lang talaga s'ya.”

“Hmm, past mo?” Jhoanna nodded.

She wants to tell her badly that ‘ Yeah, I’m actually looking at her right now’ but of course,
she can’t.

“I think ‘wag ko na rin isipin masyado. Na-accept ko naman na never na ulit kami magkikita.
Pero syempre, may mga soft hours pa rin naman tayo kaya ayun.”

“Hala, sorry! Is she…” Jhoanna nodded once again. She knows Colet's gonna say dead, but
she doesn’t wanna hear it because the person is right here.
“Sorry, na-bring up ko pa ata.”

“Hindi, okay lang. Actually, medyo refreshing na napapag-usapan ulit s'ya.”

Jhoanna checked her watch and it says 7:54 PM. Still a bit early. Colet did the same.

“Pwede mo naman ikwento sa'kin. Makikinig naman ako. Pero syempre, kung okay lang
sa'yo.”

Should I talk about it? Will this trigger her memories? Am I willing to take a huge risk?

“She was my lover. Nung nag-aaral pa kami. Pareho namin pangarap maging doktor. Kaso,
along the way, may nangyari. Bigla silang umalis ng family nya. Yung reason? Hindi ko pa
rin alam hanggang ngayon. Never kami nagka-contact after that. The next thing I heard about
her, namatay na raw s'ya. Pero yun lang narinig ko. Walang details, walang reason, walang
explanation kung paano at anong nangyari. Never ko s'ya nakita after nilang umalis. Or kahit
photos ng funeral, wala rin.”

“Hala, seryoso? Grabe… ‘di ko alam sasabihin ko, doc.”

“Okay naman na ako. Tanggap ko na yung nangyari. Namiss ko lang s'ya bigla. Naisip ko
lang, mag cardio ba s'ya or neuro kung buhay pa s'ya? Pero idol nya papa nya eh so most
likely, mag neuro s'ya.”

“Pero paano kung halimbawa, mameet mo s'ya bigla” Colet asked, “Anong gusto mong
sabihin sa kanya?” This made Jhoanna look at her for a brief moment, wondering if the
woman had caught on, or if it is an innocent inquiry.

“Pag na-meet ko s’ya?” she looked up, racking her brains for answers. This time, she wanted
to say the words she wanted to tell Nicole. And given this chance, she might as well do it,
even if Colet doesn’t remember anything.
“I just want her to be free. Sobrang dami nang nangyari, sa akin, o kahit sa kanya rin. Kung
buhay man s'ya, siguro sobrang magkaiba na ang buhay namin ngayon. May bago na s'yang
kwento at ganun din naman ako. So kung ano mang nangyari sa past, ayoko namang
makulong kami dun habangbuhay. People change, feelings change. Baka ibang tao na s'ya
ngayon, and possibly, ibang tao na rin ako sa paningin nya.”

“So, ‘di mo na s’ya babalikan o babawiin?” Jhoanna only shook her head.

“Hindi na siguro. Well, kung choice naman nyang bumalik sa akin, open arms ko naman
s’yang tatanggapin pero hindi ko pa rin hahayaang diktahan kami ng nakaraan. Masyado
nang maraming pasakit ang binigay ng nakaraan kaya if may choice man ako, gusto ko sana
magsimula ulit kami ng bagong storya.”

“Hmmm, interesting.” Colet unconsciously drank the beer from the bottle she was holding
while absorbing Jhoanna’s words. Jhoanna could only laugh internally.

“Eh ikaw ba? Anong gagawin mo if halimbawa, ma-meet mo yung taong minahal mo sa
nakaraan mo?” she asked back.

“Well, ako kasi, medyo iba yung case ko kasi ako, malaki talaga yung chance na ma-meet ko
s'ya pero sa side ko, hindi ko naman malalaman unless mag speak up s'ya eh. Pero kung may
gusto man akong sabihin sa kanya, siguro same mindset tayo.”

Jhoanna kept silent, urging her to continue.

“Kung makakaharap ko man s'ya ngayon, siguro gusto ko na lang din magsimula ng bagong
kwento. Hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyari sa nakaraan. Hindi ko alam kung anong
klaseng relationship ang meron kami. So, mas gusto kong palayain nalang yung tao.”

Jhoanna could only look at her with glistening eyes, knowing full well that it was directed at
her.
“I mean, medyo harsh pero if possible lang na kalimutan nalang nya ako, mas okay na rin
siguro sa akin yun. Ayoko nang makaramdam pa s'ya ng sakit every time makikita nya ako,
knowing na hindi ko s'ya naaalala. Gusto kong maging malaya na rin s’ya mula sa nakaraan,
mula sa akin. Wala naman kasi akong assurance na babalik pa mga alaala ko eh. Kaya kung
may hiling lang ako ngayon, sana patuloy lang nyang isulat ang kung ano mang kwentong
sinusulat nya ngayon.”

But maybe Jhoanna doesn’t have to forget. Maybe she just needs to accept and let go. Like
what Jea said, maybe she doesn’t have to cling to the past. Maybe a fresh start is all she
needs.

“Hm, touché. Cheers?”

Jhoanna raised her newly opened beer for cheers, to which Colet agreed.

“Alam mo, doc, parang hindi pa tayo nagpapakilala sa isa't-isa nang maayos,” Colet then
faced Jhoanna with her whole body and raised her hand, asking for a handshake, “Maria
Colette nga pala, or Colet nalang. Nagwowork ako as a model. Hope we can be friends!”

Jhoanna took her hands and shook them happily. Happy that finally, a heavy burden has been
lifted from her heart. Finally, she’s able to say things she wanted to say to Nicole, in the
person of Colet. And finally, she’s able to hear what Colet wants to say to her.

“Jhoanna nga pala. minsan doktor, minsan cook. And it’s nice to meet you."

---
Today is a big day for them. And she was restless all night. Not even tea could help her sleep.
So here she is, with dark circles around her eyes driving towards her office. And of course,
she had to forget her specs at home.

She initially asked her boss if she could work remotely. She wanted to be in the hospital
today. But she still needs to pick up some files at the office first.

As she entered their parking space, the first thing that caught her eye was a very familiar
black Raptor parked right beside her spot. She can’t be mistaken. She only knows one person
with that car. And not to mention the MMC sticker stuck on its windshield. It’s definitely
hers. But what is it doing here?

Upon entering the building, Colet greeted her.

“Hi, Aiah! Hala, anong nangyari sa'yo? Though akala ko, work from home ka today?”

“I barely slept last night. Hindi ko na alam kung anong oras na ako natulog.”

“Hmm, wait lang, dyan ka lang.”

She didn’t give Aiah much choice to protest so here she is, standing awkwardly by the
hallway. But that aside, she’s kinda glad. She knows she’s been off the past few days but
she’s glad that Colet didn’t take it against her.

Soon enough, the model returned with her concealer and a pair of specs in her hand.

“Wait, ayusin natin yan.”

While applying the concealer, Aiah continued, “I was just a bit restless last night. Today’s a
huge day for us. A major operation. I don’t know if she’ll make it. Kaya nag ask ako if I can
work out of office. Sa hospital ako magwork today.”

The model giggled a bit. “Eh ‘di dalawa na kayong stressed ngayon. Si Doc, nakita kong nag-
iinom ng beer mag-isa kagabi.”

This made Aiah curious. She never actually expected that the two would have any
interactions, not after what Jhoanna told her.

“Wait, you met her?”

Colet let out a gasp as if forgetting something important. “Ay, oo nga pala! Baka nakita mo sa
labas yung sasakyan nya. Sabi ko kasi, iwan nalang muna nya dito sasakyan nya tapos mag
Grab nalang s'ya since uminom s’ya. Buti nakinig s'ya. Nagkita kami sa may open park.
Nakatambay lang ako nang bigla s'yang dumating.”

Aiah knows of Colet's hobbies. She sometimes goes to the park alone, either reading, playing
guitar, or just appreciating nature. But Jhoanna, though. She didn’t expect that the doctor
would be drinking because of this day.

“Sobrang kabado ni Doc, as in. Ayaw nyang mabigo kayo. Ayaw nyang mawala yang mga
ngiti mo.”

And with that, Aiah automatically smiles. Remembering things that Jhoanna has done for her.
Yep, she’s smiling, alright.

Aiah also figured that if Colet and Jhoanna had already talked, it must mean that the two
were okay now.

“I’m surprised that you remember her.”

“Recently lang naman kami nagmeet so syempre, maaalala ko pa naman s'ya.” Colet giggled
a bit but it hit Aiah differently.

So, she didn’t really remember, huh?

“Oh, right! I forgot about that. Pero thank you for not letting her drive last night.”

“Wala yun. Ayoko lang din na dumagdag pa s'ya sa isipin mo if ever man malaman mong
nagdrive s’ya nang may inom.”

Once she’s done with the concealer, Colet placed the eyeglasses over her eyes. “Ayan! Parang
naka eight hours ng tulog na may kumpletong skincare routine.”

“Thanks again, Colet. And sorry din sa mga moodswings ko recently. Tumatanda na nga ata
ako.” They both giggled.

“Sus, okay lang yun. Gets ko naman. O s'ya, punta ka nang ospital. If may need ka dito sa
office, sabihan mo nalang ako.”

---

It didn’t take long for her to be on her way to the hospital. Colet helped her even though it’s
not her job and she appreciates it greatly. Now, she’s curious about what happened between
Jhoanna and Colet last night. But whatever it is, she takes Colet's bright expression from
earlier as a good sign.
As she was driving her way to the hospital, her phone rang.

“Hello? Staks?”

“Ate, on the way ka na?”

“Yeah, I just fetched something from the office but I’m on my way to the hospital now.”

“Sige, ate. Drive safe.”

Aiah can sense the tension in her voice even through the phone.

“Staku, I’ll be there soon, okay? Alam kong super kabado ka, so I’ll hold your hand
throughout the operation. Just wait for me. Let me be your pillar this time.”

There have been a lot of times that Stacey has held her hand, even before this happened. So
now, it’s time for her to do her part as the Ate.

“Thank you, ate Aiah.”

After the call, she released a sigh. She’s just glad that she managed to pull herself together
this time. She can’t break now.

---
“We’ll begin the operation in two hours,” Doc Torres announced.

“Dumating na yung donor cell kaninang umaga. Pine-prep na rin nila si Ms. Lim para sa
operation. So far, her stats indicate that she’s in a stable condition to proceed with the
operation.”

“That’s great,” Doc Cruz heaved a sigh of relief.

Everything seems to be in their favor now. Once this operation is done, hopefully, there will
be no problems later on. Hopefully, this will be the last operation for Mikha.

They’ve been discussing the plans and procedures for the surgery step by step. Several
different images of Mikha's CT Scans and high-resolution 3D scans of her brain are being
displayed on screen for them to review and make sure that they’ll operate on the correct part.
Neurosurgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, surgical techs, and even some residents and
medical students are gathered inside the room to make the final preparations.

The last thing they want is to make an error during the operation.

“Everything clear?” Doc Cruz asked.

“Yes!”

“Great! Now go prepare yourselves and kita ulit tayo after one hour. I suggest you avoid any
stimulants for now. Operation might take three hours kung walang magiging issues. So hold
your bladders during that period, okay?”
Jhoanna can’t help but giggle. She suddenly remembered her first-ever operation. She was so
nervous that halfway through, she badly wanted to take a bathroom break. Thankfully, she
was able to hold it in calmly. But she literally dashed her way to the bathroom once done.

“Kamusta sina Ms. Arceta and Ms. Sevilleja? Have you talked to them?” she looked at
Jhoanna.

“I’ll talk to them after this meeting. Nasa room sila ni Ms. Lim.”

“Okay. I’ll leave the talking to you. Brief mo na rin sila about sa procedure and possible
complications para ready sila. I'll give you the consent form in a bit.”

“Okay, doc.”

They exited the conference room and went their separate ways. Jhoanna immediately heads
towards Mikha's room.

She knocked twice before opening the door slowly.

“Hello?”

Aiah looked away from her laptop screen, “Hi, Doc.”

“Si Ms. Sevilleja?” right then, the bathroom door opened.

“Dito po.”
Jhoanna walked further inside, giving Mikha a short glance before facing the two. Stacey
settled herself beside Aiah as the latter set her laptop aside. She knows that Jhoanna’s gonna
discuss what will happen later and she needs to be attentive.

“Okay, so discuss ko lang kung anong mangyayari mamaya during the operation.”

Aiah can feel cold hands holding hers. She glanced beside her and she could see how Stacey
was focused on the doctor. Her hands are gripping her tightly while it slightly trembles.

“Magstart ang operation ng 1500 hours Philippine Standard Time so that's 3 pm. Si Doc
Anna Cruz ang mag lelead ng surgery, assisted by Doc Caesar Torres and Doc Mario Mallari.
Si Doc Jao Canlas naman ang anesthesiologist. I will be on standby in case, given na ako ang
humawak kay Ms. Lim since day 1. The operation will take three hours under normal
circumstances.”

“Anong meaning ng ‘normal circumstances’? Stacey asked. Jhoanna could tell that the
woman’s nervous right now, judging from her shaky voice.

“It means walang magiging kahit anong complications. And para ma-set ang inyong
expectations, hindi ganung ka-ideal ang current situation ni Ms. Lim so let's expect na may
magiging onting hiccups along the way. Pero we did our best to make sure na ready s'ya for
operation today.”

“Oh my god…” was what Aiah could only utter. She’s been in this situation before. Mikha's
last operation wasn’t the smoothest. To the point that she had an anxiety attack in the middle
of the hospital hallway.

“Kung may maging complications man, may mga emergency personnel tayo na naka-standby
to ensure na mabilis ang magiging action kung may mangyari man.”

“Once matapos ang surgery, assuming that everything goes well, need nya mag-stay sa ICU
for two or more weeks para sa aftercare and further monitoring, depending on how she’ll
perform.” The two nodded.

“And lastly, gusto ko lang ipaalala na this surgery is a specialized one. Sobrang laking risk
nito para sa ating lahat. So, I hope prepared kayo sa kung ano mang magiging outcome.”

Even for Jhoanna, saying the last part was difficult for her. She’s basically saying ‘prepare to
lose her’ in the most professional, sugarcoated way. She felt her eyes sting for a moment. She
had to blink several times to keep her tears from spilling.

She can’t believe that she’s this invested in her patient.

She then handed out a form that was already familiar to the two. They’ve signed hundreds of
papers before but this one will always be the heaviest to sign.

“Pwede nyong basahin ulit lahat ng nakasulat sa consent form. Na-discuss ko naman na s'ya
sa inyo pero feel free na basahin ulit s'ya before you sign.”

The room fell silent as the two read the form over and over again as if things would change if
they re-read them. Jhoanna dropped her gaze to her shoes, not being able to look at the two.

She then heard the sound of the pen rubbing on paper, indicating that they had signed the
form.

“Eto na, Doc.”

She reached for the form with cold hands, still avoiding their eyes.

“Thank you, Ms. Arceta, Ms. Sevilleja. I’ll see you later bago ang operation.”
As soon as she went out of the room, she momentarily leaned on the wall, her head against
the hard surface, eyes closed.

She can feel the heaviness of Aiah and Stacey's emotions. It also pains her to know that even
with the chance of survival that’s given, a huge part of them has come to terms with the
reality that they might really lose her this time. They have evaded death for how many times.
Who knows when will this luck last? So far, this will be the riskiest operation they’ll perform.

She’s kinda glad that she’s not the one performing the surgery. Now, she understood what
Colet meant before when she said that she couldn’t take the burden of being responsible for
someone’s life in her hands.

She’s done a lot of surgeries before. But maybe this one differs because of the people
involved. She’s been too involved with them. As time goes by, the more she gets deeper into
this attachment.

And maybe this is also why they do not allow doctors to perform operations on their family
members. Attachment is something too strong even for the mind.

Sometimes, no matter how disciplined you are, emotions can overpower you when an
unexpected moment arises.

Now she wonders. Has anyone in her field experienced being defeated by emotions? She
can’t imagine what it feels like to actually lose someone close to you by your own hands.

It will surely make her insane.

##
Chapter End Notes

😭
Quick update lang hahaha since holiday naman (still working coz sino ba kase nagpapa-
presentation the day after ng long weekend )

Eto na yung inaabangan nyong closure ng JhoLet hehe (in a way, considered closure na
rin naman s'ya, di 'ba? Pagbigyan nyo na 'ko)
Also, hopefully, this will be the last operation of Mikha. Kapit tayo sa 97% match

Also, there's a major clue here sa chapter na 'to telling you something about another
character haha basta you'll see sa later chapters.
 Love That Lets Go
Chapter Summary

The day of Mikha's last operation. Will she make it?

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

LOVE THAT LETS GO

“Ready, team?” Doc Anna Cruz asked everyone. They’re about to begin the operation and
now, they’re in scrubs.

This is hopefully their final surgery on Mikha. They have high hopes now that everything’s
looking good for them. With the high compatibility of the donor cell, and stable vital signs,
hopefully, everything goes smoothly.

“Okay, let’s proceed.”

---
It was one of the most grueling four hours for Aiah and Stacey. With every tick of the clock,
she can feel her heart dropping every second.

It’s not that she doesn't trust the doctors, especially Doc Cruz. In fact, she’s fully entrusting
Mikha's life in her hands.

Mikha, on the other hand. She doesn’t know what Mikha's thinking at this point.

Does she still want to hold on?

Or does she want to finally rest?

These things have been going on inside her head.

“Staku,” she heard Aiah from beside her, breaking her thoughts. She looked at her friend.

Without any words, Aiah gave her a tight hug while caressing her back.

“She’ll make it, Staks. Let’s trust them. Let's trust her.”

They stayed like that for a full minute before they parted, with Stacey having her head low.

“Pero paano kung… paano kung s'ya mismo…” she choked on her words. She can’t say it
further.

“If she decided to rest, we should respect that. Pero who knows? I’m pretty sure kahit sina
Doc Cruz, hindi nila sigurado kung anong mangyayari after.”
Aiah gave out a sigh, “Staku?” she called, calmly.

“Hmm?”

Aiah thought for a bit, looking at the younger girl. She needs to know her view on this.

“What if after this operation, kailangan s'yang dumepende sa life support para mabuhay?
Paano kung tanungin tayo?”

She can’t deny the possibility of that happening. And she thinks their friend has had enough.

“Sa totoo lang? I think eto na yung time na need na natin s'ya i-let go,” Stacey honestly
answered.

“You think so?”

“This will be the last time I’m giving life a chance. Pag hindi pa rin s'ya gumising after this,
I'm taking that as a sign.”

Aiah could see the pain and defeat in Stacey's eyes.

“Alright. It's your call.” This made the younger look at her with puzzled eyes.

“Huh? Bakit ako?”

Aiah could only smile.

Another hour and a half later, Aiah found herself cradling Stacey's head on her lap. She can
see the dark circles around her eyes but still, her beauty hasn’t tarnished one bit. Her hand
caresses Stacey's hair unconsciously while her eyes are glued to the operating room’s door.

Funny how their situations changed. Perhaps it's how both of them finally realized their
attachment towards Mikha changed how they handle the situation now.

It’s already past eight in the evening, with only them occupying the waiting area. The eerie
silence didn’t help one bit. Aiah could only wish that she had asked Sheena to come with
them but she can’t impose too much on the girl who’s going through college hell.

Suddenly, the operating room’s light turned off, and the doors slowly opened.

Every staff walked out one by one, with unreadable faces. She can’t tell whether it was
successful or not.

Her shaking hands woke Stacey up, feeling it through her hair.

“Anong nangyayari?”

Without looking at her, Aiah answered, “They’re done.”

Aiah could only look at the group of doctors approaching their way. She looked past Doc
Cruz and made eye contact with Jhoanna, the person she wanted to ask the most.

But behind her, what caught her attention was the bed that was being wheeled out of the
room, with nurses beside it.
Mikha was being wheeled out.

Doc Cruz stopped in front of them and the other doctors followed suit. Everyone fell silent
for a few moments before Doc Torres spoke.

“Ms. Arceta, Ms. Sevilleja, Gusto ko lang sabihin na successful ang operation.”

No one reacted for the next ten seconds. It’s as if they’re not believing what they’re hearing
right now.

Stacey slowly stood up, hands over her mouth. She’s definitely lost for words. Aiah remained
seated through the whole ordeal; too weak to keep herself standing up. But her reaction
doesn’t fall short of that of Stacey's.

“T-totoo po?!”

Doc Cruz spoke up, “Yes, you’re hearing it right. Although, need pa nya magstay sa recovery
room after then sa ICU na natin s'ya imomonitor. We’re expecting a response from her within
two weeks.”

Aiah wanted to celebrate. She really does. But she felt like there’s a catch with all of these.

She looked at Jhoanna in the eyes. She can see the uneasiness of the doctor.

Doc Cruz continued, with a different tone, “Hindi naman natin ineexpect na magigising agad
s'ya. Recovery may take time pero we have different ways to monitor kung nagrerespond ba
s'ya or hindi. However, kung after two weeks at wala pa rin reaction from her…” she wasn’t
able to continue immediately. She observed the two women first.

“We still need to see kung tatanggapin ba ng katawan nya yung donor cell. However, if two
weeks and nothing happens, I’m afraid wala nang ibang paraan para tulungan si Ms. Lim,”
Doc Torres grimly said.

The surgery might indeed be successful, but they won’t know the real result until Mikha
shows signs of recovery herself. They have given an ultimatum of two weeks to show any
response, even small, just to know that her body has accepted the cells.

“Two weeks… “ Aiah repeated over and over again. Jhoanna looked at her worriedly.

“We’ll keep a close eye on her for the following days. Let’s just hope na hindi i-reject ng
katawan nya yung donor cell.”

---

It has been the same next three days, with them doing their usual routine. Stacey has been
quite busy with work since they managed to snatch a big-time international client and she's
the one taking on the task. It's emotionally hard for her since she wanted to be beside Mikha
most of the time, especially within these two weeks.

Aiah has been taking more remote work now that Stacey spends more time working and
chasing deadlines. She's just glad that they're in the process of cleaning up the photos so she
doesn't have to stay in the studio.

She was casually working with Colet's latest set of photos when she heard a knock on the
door. It slid open slightly, revealing Jhoanna without her coat.

"Kumain ka na?" She asked as she entered.

Aiah was about to answer when her stomach rumbled, causing the doctor to chuckle a bit.

"Sorry..."

"Okay lang. I got you covered," she then lifted a paper bag she'd been holding all this time.

"Hala, doc, you didn't have to—"

"Please, I insist. Hindi pa kita nakikitang kumain nang tama kaya nagluto ako for us. Okay
lang bang samahan kita dito kumain?"

Aiah immediately made room for the doctor. She pushed her laptop aside to give way for the
food.

"Sure! Let's eat."

As they were eating silently, Jhoanna couldn't help but glance at the laptop screen from time
to time. This didn't escape Aiah's eyes.

"Nagkita kayo recently," she stated, which caused Jhoanna to pause momentarily.

"Who?"

"You and Colet. She told me about your encounter sa open park last time."
“Oh…”

No one spoke for the next few minutes. Only the sounds of utensils and machines could be
heard inside the room.

“Okay na ba kayong dalawa?” Aiah asked.

It took a while for Jhoanna to answer, recalling everything that they talked about that night.

“I wouldn’t say na I'm perfectly fine pero I can honestly say na I felt free after talking to her.”

“What did you talk about? I mean, kung okay lang sa'yo i-share.”

Jhoanna let go of her spoon in the meantime and leaned back on the couch. “Hm, well, nasabi
ko na rin mga gusto kong sabihin sa kanya after all these years.”

Aiah can’t help but smile at the doctor. She can definitely see the shift in her mood when
looking at Colet. She can no longer see the pain she saw back then.

“Tsaka ano, narinig ko na rin ang mga gusto nyang sabihin sa'kin.”

Aiah’s confused look caught the doctor’s eyes so she continued, “We asked each other what-
ifs. And along the line, sinabi nyang may mga gusto rin s’yang sabihin sa nakaraan nya. So,
ayun, sinabi nya.”

“So, she still doesn't remember a thing?” Aiah probes carefully. She doesn’t know what
Jhoanna thinks on that matter.
Jhoanna shook her head but what surprised Aiah was that she was actually smiling.

“Hindi ko man alam kung anong nangyari sa kanya, pero s'ya na rin ang nagsabi. Sa lahat ng
taong involved, alam nyang she had it the easiest. Alam nyang maaaring marami s'yang
nasaktang mga tao mula sa nakaraan nya nang mawala ang mga alaala nya. Pero sabi nga
nya, ang hiling nya ay makalaya na kami. Ayaw nyang makulong kami sa nakaraan lalo pa't
walang kasiguraduhan na makakabalik pa kami dito. Besides, kung ito ang paraan para hindi
na nya maalala ang mga pasakit na pinagdaanan nya bago s'ya magka-amnesia, mas okay na
rin siguro ito para sa ikatatahimik ng buhay nya.”

She’s already impressed with the model even after spending a short time with her. But after
hearing this from Jhoanna, her admiration for the girl rose. Not everyone with amnesia has
been as accepting as Colet is.

She looked at the doctor in the eyes. “Are you happy now?”

Jhoanna smiled once more. “Para akong nabunutan ng malaking tinik sa puso. Tsaka eto
talaga yung masasabi kong masaya na ako sa kasalukuyan namin, na finally, malaya na ako
mula sa nakaraan, mula sa kanya.”

Aiah can’t help but hug her, surprising the doctor in the process. It took her a few seconds
before she wrapped her arms around the woman.

Jhoanna then thought to herself, making her smile wider.

I can finally love again. I can finally open my heart to someone else without the burdens of
my past.

Unconsciously, this made Jhoanna hug Aiah tighter, burying her face in the crook of Aiah’s
neck. This puzzled the older but she just let her be, thinking that the doctor was getting
emotional right now.
They stayed like that for a few more minutes before they pulled apart, with blushes on their
cheeks.

Their eyes fell on the figure lying on the bed. Jhoanna then shifted her gaze to Aiah.

“Ikaw?” This made Aiah look at her.

“What about me?”

“How are you?”

It’s a very generic question. It can mean a lot of things. So even Aiah isn’t sure what she
meant by that.

“I guess… pagod na rin, both physically and emotionally. Pero I’m still hoping for the
best…”

There’s this nagging question that Jhoanna’s been itching to ask, but she’s not sure if it’ll be
all alright to ask. She wanted to know so bad. For what reason? She doesn’t know either.

“Aiah?” she called softly, with her eyes directed to the ground.

She just wanted to know.

“Mahal mo pa ba?” she asked while looking at the sleeping patient.

That question temporarily halted Aiah’s movements. It’s a question she definitely isn’t
expecting.
From looking at Jhoanna’s timid figure, Aiah averted her gaze towards the unsuspecting
subject.

“Mikha…” she mumbled softly.

Jhoanna looked at her carefully, afraid to meet her eyes. She doesn't know what to expect.
But she can definitely see the longing look in Aiah’s eyes.

“Would it be far-fetched to say that I’m letting go of her? For good?”

“Anong ibig mong sabihin?”

Aiah leaned back into the couch, closing her eyes in the process. “I gotta admit, nalito ako
before. I may have said na I only felt sympathy for her but there were times when I was still
hoping that we could fix things once maging okay na s'ya, na maybe we can go back together.
It might be because I wanna do things right this time but then I realized…” she paused for a
moment, heaving a loud sigh.

Jhoanna watched her breathe in deeply before she continued.

“After hearing Staku's confession, narealize ko na what if there’s someone out there better for
Mikhs? And maybe, I’m also meant to be with someone else? Na baka nga it wasn’t
supposed to be us in the first place? I don’t know. There are just so many things in my mind.
So many what-ifs. Things like that.”

Jhoanna reached her hand out and squeezed Aiah’s shoulder. “Nag-ooverthink ka na ulit.
Hindi naman na natin mababago ang nakaraan so kung ano mang nangyari dati, wala na
tayong magagawa dun. We can only make do of what we have right now. Alam mo, marami
man tayong naging maling mga desisyon dati pero hindi naman ibig sabihin, hindi na natin
pwedeng ayusin mga magiging desisyon natin sa hinaharap. We can still set things right as
long as we’re alive.”
Aiah finally opened her eyes, looking straight at Jhoanna’s brown ones. “Has anyone ever
told you that you have a knack for wise words?” she said, chuckling a little.

Jhoanna just shrugged jokingly, “well, may mangilan-ngilan pero since galing sa'yo, It’s my
pleasure, then.”

The two giggled lightly for a moment before they returned to silence. Aiah focused her
attention on the empty food container in front of her with her hands busily playing with her
sleeves.

“Pero alam mo, Doc,” she started, which made the doctor look at her, “tingin ko, I won't be
able to handle it if you weren't here.”

Jhoanna didn’t speak. She just let Aiah speak her mind.

“During the first few weeks, during all those operations, whenever we receive bad news, I
always feel like it’ll be the end. I felt like I’m in this dark, dark, abyss where I can’t see any
light.”

“And then you came. Of course, you’re Mikha's doctor. You have to take care of her. Pero
ikaw, dinamay mo ako sa pag-aalaga. I’m not sure why you treat me like that, but to me,
you’re the light that appeared in that dark abyss.”

This time, Aiah looked at her directly in the eyes.

“You’re my saving grace, Doc Robles.”

Jhoanna might not have reacted much on the outside but deep inside, her emotions are
whirling around so much that she hoped that Aiah couldn’t hear how loud her heartbeat was
right now.
“Actually, ganun ka rin naman sa'kin,” the doctor said, “Hindi ko makukuha yung closure na
hinahanap ko kung hindi kita na-meet.”

The two stayed like that for a whole minute without anyone making a sound.

That was until the door suddenly opened.

“Ate Aiah! Sana nakakain ka na kasi…” Stacey wasn’t able to finish her sentence after seeing
the two figures inside the room jolting in surprise.

“Nakaka… abala ba ako or something?” she asked unsurely, looking at Aiah first, then at
Jhoanna, who was blushing hard right now.

Aiah stood up abruptly, “N-no! It's okay. So what were you saying?”

Stacey looked at her suspiciously but decided to let it go. “As I was saying, sana nakakain ka
na kasi hindi ako nakabili ng food. Nagpakain si boss kanina kaya hindi na ako nag drive-
thru,” she then looked at the table with empty food containers and used utensils, “And mukha
namang nakakain ka na so goods ka na.”

Jhoanna could feel Stacey staring at her. She could only smile awkwardly at the woman.

“I-I think kailangan ko na umalis, Ms. Arceta, Ms. Sevilleja. Have a good night!”

As soon as Jhoanna awkwardly left the room, Aiah couldn’t help but hide her face from her
friend.

“What are you smiling about, Lindtsey Stacey Aubrey?”

“Hmm, wala naman. ‘Di ka pa ba uuwi?” She asked as she settled her things on the table. It’s
her turn to look out for Mikha now.

“Yeah, I was just about to. Okay ka lang ba here? I can always stay, you know?”

Stacey only shook her head, “Pahinga ka na muna, ate. I’m good here. Tawag nalang ako
kung ano man, okay?”

“Okay, Staku,” Aiah was about to leave when she remembered something.

“Where’s my car?”

“Ay, oo nga pala! I left it sa office. Sinabay ako ni kuya Noel papunta dito.”

Aiah could only face-palm herself. “How-”

“Grab ka nalang or something. Naiwan ko rin ata sa drawer ko susi mo.”

As much as she wanted to retaliate, there was no use either way so she just released a sigh.

“Fine. I’ll be going now.”

She walked out of the hospital still feeling a bit lighthearted and a little bit embarrassed from
earlier. But she was smiling, nevertheless. Talking with Jhoanna always makes her anxiety go
away.
In the middle of her thoughts, she stopped by the sidewalk to hail a cab when a familiar black
raptor stopped in front of her. The windows opened and there appeared the doctor she had
been thinking about a few moments ago.

“Tara, hatid na kita.”

---

Aiah can’t help but chuckle. They’re now heading towards her apartment.

“Ba't ka natatawa?” Jhoanna asked but she’s smiling also.

“So you’re a taxi driver now? I was hailing one and you showed up.”

“Gusto mo, maging personal driver mo pa ako. Libre pa!”

Aiah hit her arms lightly. “I won’t take advantage of you like that kahit pa sobrang tempting
ng offer mo.”

They stayed silent for a moment before Aiah spoke again, “But seriously, Doc. Thank you.”

“Uy, okay lang yun. Tsaka sabi ko sa'yo, di ‘ba? Tanggalin mo na yung ‘doc’ pag off-duty
ako.”
Aiah just grinned sheepishly. “Ay, sorry, Jho.”

Jhoanna was about to answer back but then she realized what Aiah called her.

Jho.

It’s been a while since someone else called her that, outside of her close friends.

Aiah noticed the sudden silence of the driver which worried her if she said something wrong.

“Jhoanna? I’m sorry if you’re not comfortable with ‘Jho’.”

“Okay lang, Aiah. In fact, mas gusto ko yan. Konti lang din kasi tumatawag sa'kin ng ‘Jho’
like sina doc Jea at ate Gwen.”

“Okay, Jho. Thank you.”

It didn’t take long before they reached Aiah’s apartment. Jhoanna was about to call her but
her breath got caught in her throat.

Right beside her is a personification of a sleeping angel. The bright moonlight emphasized
her features and mesmerized the doctor to a certain degree.

She reached her hand out to her face, moving some loose hair behind her ears.
She should be waking her up so that she can rest in a proper bed.

Just a few minutes.

She stayed still for another minute, just observing the beauty beside her, peacefully sleeping.

Every second that ticks, she can’t help but think about this feeling she's been suppressing
inside of her for a long time now. It didn’t help that she was now finally free from her past;
that she was now willing to open her heart to someone else.

But she thought of Aiah’s feelings. She has no idea what the woman is thinking. And she
doesn’t want to add to the burden that she’s already carrying.

With those in mind, she can’t help but grip hard on her steering wheel, calming herself down.

“No, Jhoanna. Hindi pwede,” she mumbled to herself softly.

She brought her eyes back to the sleeping angel beside her and continued to observe her, not
having the heart to wake her up.

“Aiah…”

It took a few more minutes before Aiah felt that they weren't moving anymore and she finally
stirred awake. “Oh, we’re here?” she asked sleepily.

“Yeah. Dito na tayo sa apartment mo.”

“Hindi mo ako ginising?”

“Yeah… Sorry. Ang peaceful mo lang tingnan kanina, hinayaan muna kita,” Jhoanna smiled
sheepishly, getting embarrassed with every second hoping that Aiah didn’t catch her
watching her.

“Silly,” Aiah just smiled at her, but her smile hit her hard.

“Pasok ka na para makapagpahinga ka na nang ayos.”

She got out of the car and ran towards Aiah’s side of the door, assisting the latter in going
down due to the vehicle’s height.

“Thank you for tonight, again.”

Jhoanna looked at her for the nth time that night, “Okay lang yun, Aiah. Basta dito lang ako
palagi.”

They were both standing in front of Aiah’s door as the owner was trying to open them.

“Ayaw mong pumasok?” she asked. Jhoanna only shook her head softly.

“Hmm, ‘di na siguro. Deretso uwi na rin ako.”

“Suit yourself.” Once she opened her door, she faced the doctor once again.

“Drive safely, okay?”

“I will. Good night, Aiah.”

“Good night, Jho”

Jhoanna was about to walk away but she could see the hesitance in Aiah’s eyes. “May
problema ba?”

Without another word, she suddenly felt a tight hug enveloping her; so tight that she could
feel the other’s heart beating loudly, and fast.

She wasn’t able to say anything so she just enclosed her arms around her and began caressing
her back.

It went on for a whole minute before Aiah let go of her, completely avoiding her eyes.

“I-uh… I’m sorry. That was so sudden.”

“‘D-de, okay lang… ano…”

“Yeah, I’ll head inside. Goodbye!”

She went back to her truck as soon as she was sure that Aiah’s inside. It had just sunk into her
what happened earlier. She can still feel her skin tingle with the sensation of Aiah’s arms
around her.

Before driving, she fetched her phone and messaged someone.

 [Nasa loob na s'ya ng apartment. Salamat ulit kanina. Have a good night, Ms. Sevilleja] -
Doc Robles

It took a minute before she received a response.

[Salamat sa pag-aalaga sa kanya, doc Robles. Ingat ka pauwi! Kelangan ka pa ni ate ] -

Stacey

She pocketed her phone and turned on the ignition, but the last part of Stacey's message made
her think.

“What could she mean by that?”

---

She heaved a sigh after replying to a certain doctor. She’s just glad that Aiah got home safely.

She then looked at the patient quietly sleeping on the bed.

“Okay lang siguro, no? You won’t mind?”

It’s a tiring day for Stacey. But at the end of the day, she’s just happy to be here, looking out
for Mikha. It’s a struggle seeing her in this state, yes. But at least, she’s still alive, and that’s
 what matters to Stacey.

“Mikhs,” she started, talking to Mikha, “tingin mo, tama ba ‘tong ginagawa ko?”

“Deserve ni ate Aiah sumaya. Naniniwala akong si doc Robles na yun.”

“And I think deserve din naman ni doc sumaya. At mukhang masaya naman s'ya kay ate.”

“Okay lang kaya?”

“‘Di mo naman siguro ako papatayin pag pinush ko silang dalawa, no?”

Stacey can’t help but laugh at herself. She can’t believe she’s talking to Mikha in this state,
about this topic.

“Sana lang, hindi mo ako kamuhian, Mikha.”

##

Chapter End Notes

Few chapters left until the main story's done!

By the way guys, comment/send kayo sa cc/x how you want things to go:
a) Special chapters first, then Epilogue
b) Epilogue first, then Special chapters

Kung anong nilalaman ng special chapters... surprise nalang haha baka andito na yung
kasagutan sa mga tanong nyo
 Let Me Take Care of You
Chapter Summary

Aiah has fallen sick and Jho's persistent in taking care of her.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU

It has been a couple of days since the operation. Since then, it has been restless for both Aiah
and Stacey. Mikha has been given two weeks to show any signs of recovery and so far,
nothing’s happening.

These are also the times when Aiah starts to question Mikha’s willingness to keep on going.
The anxiousness has been eating them with each passing day.

Her distress didn’t escape the doctor’s eyes, though. Jhoanna has been keeping an eye not
only on Mikha, but also on Aiah, who seems to be more distraught day after day.

“Kumain ka na ba?” she asked the moment she finished checking on Mikha. She can see
Aiah staring blankly at her laptop, not moving an inch.

Receiving no response, she walked closer to the woman before sitting beside her, startling her
in the process.

“Oh my- I’m sorry, was I spacing out?”

Jhoanna only nodded. “I was asking kung if kumain ka na. Natutulala ka dyan.”

“Uh, well, I haven’t, actually. Can’t think of anything to eat, or wala lang siguro akong
appetite.”

Jhoanna released a sigh. It worries her that Aiah’s been like this, which will surely take a toll
on her health someday.

“Hmm, sige. ‘Wag mo na muna isipin. Ako na bahala sa food mo. I’m about to get lunch din
naman.”

“Huh? Doc, okay lang ako. You don’t need to do that na.”

“Okay lang, Aiah. I’m sure hindi ka na kakain nyan kung hahayaan kita.”

“But-”

“It’s really fine, Aiah. Sorry pero I’ve been observing you the past few days and medyo
concerning na lalo na yung pag skip mo ng meals. Also, punta ka rin kay Doc Ricalde if you
have time. Have yourself checked din. She’s a friend from med school and GP s’ya dito.
You’ve been stressed lately so better make sure na okay ka.”

“Jho, I’m fine. I promise. I can manage.”

“Please? I don’t want you falling sick.”

Aiah thinks for a while. While it’s true that she can manage, she can’t say that she’s feeling
well overall. She’s been feeling heavy and lethargic lately.
“Balik ako maya-maya.”

Once Jhoanna was out. Aiah closed the lid of her laptop and released a long sigh. She’s just
glad that most of her tasks involve her working on her laptop most of the time. She’s feeling
depleted to be doing a full-blown photoshoot at the moment. Stacey’s been at it, especially
with their new international project currently ongoing.

She trailed her eyes to the red-haired woman sleeping soundly on the hospital bed. It’s been
six days since the operation but nothing has changed. She’s alive, alright, but it’s mostly the
machine that’s keeping her alive at the moment.

“Ano na, Mikha Lim?” she said to the girl.

“It’s been six days. Aren’t you tired of sleeping na?” but still, no response.

“Mikha, please… we miss you already.”

“Miss na miss ka na ni Staku, kung alam mo lang.”

But even with all the words she let out, it just felt like she was talking to the wall.

A few minutes passed and a soft knock was heard. The door opened a bit and Jhoanna’s head
peeped before fully entering the door, now with a paper bag at hand.

“Kain ka na, Aiah. Added some brownies as well para may sweets naman. Sakto may dala si
Doc Jea.”

Jhoanna took the liberty of unboxing the food and preparing it on the table beside Aiah’s
laptop as the latter watched her.
“Hindi ko naman dinamihan since I know your appetite won’t allow you pero at least kumain
ka kahit konti.”

Aiah observed the food in front of her. Despite the lack of appetite, she can’t help but smile at
the thought of Jhoanna going out of her way to prepare this for her. It also didn’t escape her
eyes when she saw little packs of gummies peaking from her coat’s chest pocket but didn’t
comment on it at the moment.

“Thank you, Jho. You really didn’t have to pero I really appreciate this.”

Slowly, she reached for the spoon and took a spoonful of the mushroom soup. She can’t help
but close her eyes as the hot substance enters her system. It’s a little bit refreshing indeed. It
was only then that she finally felt the suppressed hunger she’d been ignoring the whole day.

Jhoanna only watched with a small smile as Aiah continuously devoured the food she had
prepared. She specifically portioned it just enough for Aiah to have her appetite back.

“Very good! Naubos mo s’ya,” Jhoanna clapped animatedly after Aiah scooped the last of her
meal. This made the latter laugh at the doctor’s antics.

“Grabe s’ya, ginawa mo naman akong bata.”

“Uy, small efforts are still efforts. Sabi mo nga kanina, wala kang gana so the fact na naubos
mo s’ya is an achievement.” Aiah had to smile at that.

“At dahil naubos mo food mo, may reward ako sa’yo,” Jhoanna then took out the packets of
gummies from her pocket with a proud smile.

“Gummies? Now, you really made me a child.”

“Vitamin C gummies yan! Not just any gummies. Pandagdag din to boost your immune
system. Masarap din kaya yan.”

Aiah laughed at the way Jhoanna defended her little packets of gummies. But deep inside,
she’s just so touched at the doctor’s efforts to cheer her up.

“Saan mo naman kinuha yan? Baka nang-agaw ka pa sa bata?”

“Inaway ko pa si Doc Yves dyan! Abusado na raw ako since lagi ako kumukuha sa stock nya.
Para raw sa mga batang pasyente nya yan pero bakit ba? Adults also need vitamins. Tsaka
ang dami pa nyang stock. Tingnan mo pag nagpacheck up ka sa kanya.”

“Boang. Is she the GP you’re talking about?”

“Yes. Si Doc Yves Ricalde. Nabanggit na rin kita sa kanya so drop by pag free ka. She
usually leaves around seven pa naman. Her sched’s free mamayang six in case free ka rin.”

“Grabe, nakakahiya naman, talagang binanggit mo pa sa kanya.”

“Para pumunta ka sa kanya.”

Aiah just shook her head but the smile on her face was evident as she opened the packet and
ate the piece of gummy bear.

“Okay, fine. For your peace of mind na rin. And maybe I could use that check-up as well.
Staku’s been nagging me, anyway.”

“Good! Magtatanong ako kay Doc Yves ah.”

Later that afternoon, Stacey conveniently finished her work early and she was at the hospital
by 5:30 pm. Perfect timing as Doc Ricalde’s latest patient just finished their consultation.

“Uwi ka na, ate?” Stacey asked.

“Not yet. Doc Robles has been nagging me na magpa check-up so I might just do that.”

“Ay, jusko ka teh! Ang tagal ko nang sinasabi sa’yo na magpa-check up ka. Si Doc Robles
lang pala makakapilit sa’yo. Pass sa halata, ate Aiah.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Wala! Sige, go ka na. Pa-check up ka na. Baka makaalis pa yung doktor.”

With that said, Aiah packed her things and headed toward the direction Jhoanna gave her.

She knocks twice on the door that says ‘Dr. Mary Loi Yves Ricalde, General Physician’
before hearing a lively ‘pasok po!’ from the inside.

“Uhm, Doc Ricalde po?” she asked politely. She observed the room and indeed, she saw a jar
full of the same gummies she ate earlier.

“Ay yes, dear! Ikaw ba yung sinasabi ni Doc Jho? Si Ms. Arceta?”
“Yes po. Sorry she had to bother you pa.”

“Ay naku, nonsense! Trabaho kong i-check kayo para sure na walang masamang nangyayari
sa inyo. And tama lang na nagpacheck up ka. I heard you’ve been stressed lately?”

“Uh she-”

“Don’t worry, wala na s’yang sinabi bukod dun. So, let’s proceed?”

After a couple of questions, blood extractions, and routine checks, they settled back to Doc
Ricalde’s desk.

“Balik ka sa’kin after two days para sa blood chem results mo. Pero so far, I think it’s good
na nagpacheck up ka na rin. Aware ka ba na medyo mataas temperature mo? You also
mentioned na you’re having muscle aches lately and nakakaramdam ka na rin ng hilo.
Masakit din ulo mo, tama?”

“Y-yes po, doc.” If she was being honest, she’s been feeling under the weather for a while
now but she’s trying to ignore it. She’s been secretive about it, especially to Doc Robles
who’s been worried sick about her, as much the doctor doesn’t want to admit it.

But having a keen eye, it didn’t escape the doctor’s eyes, especially with how she had almost
memorized the girl’s habits and mannerisms as they spent more time together. She can easily
tell that something’s off with Aiah in an instant. But she doesn’t want to force her so she opts
for a more subtle approach, and that’s where her general physician friend comes in.

“I’ll prescribe you with some meds pero we’ll see pa rin after two days, okay? If you can take
a rest after this, mas okay sana bago pa man tumaas lalo lagnat mo. Magdadrive ka ba
pauwi?”
Aiah nodded slowly. “Yes po.”

“Hmmm, kakayanin mo ba magdrive?” Yves looked at her with hesitation.

“Kaya naman po.”

“Hmm, sige ha. Pero assess mo pa rin sarili mo. Grab ka nalang if ever hindi mo kayanin. It’s
better safe than sorry.”

“Okay po, doc. Thank you.”

“O s’ya, sige. Papakawalan na kita para makapahinga ka na. Ingat pauwi, ha? See you in two
days.”

Once Aiah left the office, Jhoanna sneaked in quickly inside.

“Anong nangyari na?” Jhoanna quickly asked.

“Grabe, wala man lang hello? Abusado ka na talaga, Robles,” she then saw the doctor
grabbing a packet of gummy from the jar, “tingnan mo ‘to. Kukuha na naman. Kakakuha mo
lang kanina, huy! Twice a day lang yan! Aba’y kainaman naman talaga ‘tong babaeng ‘to ah.
Pagkakadaya rin talaga.”

“‘Di naman ako yung kumain nung kinuha ko kanina,” jhoanna defended herself while eating
the gummy at hand.
“Ah so kay Ms. Arceta mo binigay yung kanina?” Jhoanna only looked away, still munching
on the gummy bear inside her mouth.

“Hay, nako, Jhoanna Robles. Pass sa halata. Pakatorpe amp. ‘Di ka na nagbago, jusko.”

“Eh, ‘di naman kasi ganon ka-simple yun. Tsaka alam mo naman situation ni Aiah.”

They both settled on the sofa after Yves also grabbed a packet of gummy from her jar.

“Hmm, may point naman. Oo nga, Jho. Medyo mahirap situation nya.”

“Pero balik tayo sa topic. So, anong lagay na ni Aiah?”

Yves’ face turned serious.

“Wala pang results ng blood chem nya pero with her symptomps, leaning towards overfatigue
s’ya. Medyo above normal din temp nya kanina kaya nagulat ako. May headache and muscle
pains, tsaka medyo nahihilo. Malaking epekto rin yun pag skip nya ng meals, bumagsak
immune system nya. May vitamin deficiency na rin sya. I told her to rest agad after this
check-up. Gave her some meds na rin. Tinanong ko rin sya kung magdadrive s’ya pauwi and
sabi nya, oo raw-”

“Shit. Okay, thanks doc. I gotta go!”

“Huy, Jho wait-” Yves wasn’t able to finish her words when the doctor suddenly dashed
outside her office.

Yves could only shake her head with a tiny smile. “Hay nako, Jho. Sana hindi ka na kasing
torpe nung college self mo.”
“Andito ba si Ms. Arceta?!” Stacey jumped in surprise when the door suddenly opened and a
disheveled doctor showed up.

“Doc! Oh my god nagulat ako! Pero kanina pa s’ya umalis. Baka dumeretso uwi na after
check up.”

“Okay, thanks!”

“Doc-”

Without wasting time, she ran towards the parking lot, hoping to see the Hyundai sedan still
parked there.

“Sana hindi s’ya nagpilit mag drive.” She could only pray as she run towards the exit.

Once outside, she heaved a sigh of relief when she saw a familiar Hyundai still parked. But it
was soon replaced with worry when she saw the owner sitting on the driver’s seat, her head
leaning on her hands as she gripped the steering wheel.

She skipped towards the car and knocked on the window.

“Aiah?” she called.

Slowly, Aiah raised her head and looked at the owner of the voice. Jhoanna could see her
tired, reddened eyes surrounded by dark bags.

She rolled the window down. “Jho? Ba’t andito ka?”

“Pauwi ka na ba?”

“Uhm, oo sana? I’m just resting for a bit.”

“Punta ka na dun sa passenger’s seat. Ako na magdrive.”

“Ha?” Aiah had to do a double take if she heard the doctor right.

“Dali na, I’ll drive you home. ‘Wag nang makulit.”

Unable to protest further, she moved towards the passenger’s seat and let the doctor enter the
driver’s seat.

“Aiah Arceta.” She suddenly said with seriousness in her voice as she start the car.

“Yes po?”

“You said you’re fine.”

“I’m fine naman ah.”

Without hesitation, Jhoanna put her hand over Aiah’s forehead, closing her eyes after feeling
the hot surface of the woman’s skin.

“Nilalagnat ka. Anong fine ka dyan?”

“But-”

“Pasalamat nalang talaga, nagpacheck ka na kay Doc Ricalde. And buti naman, hindi ka
nagpumilit mag drive.”

“Medyo nahilo ako kanina so I rested for a bit.”

“See? Paano nalang kung may mangyari sa’yo along the way? I’m glad that you tried to rest
pero you need to take your health seriously.”

“... sorry.”

With apologetic eyes, Jhoanna can’t help but be moved by the sight. She caressed Aiah’s
head whilst also fixing her disheveled hair.

“Pahinga ka muna dyan. Ako na muna bahala sa’yo.”

They reached Aiah’s apartment soon after, stopping by the pharmacy and grocery in the
process. The last time Jhoanna went to Aiah’s apartment, the owner’s already running out of
basic health necessities, not to mention the lack of proper food in her pantry.

They entered the apartment with Jhoanna carrying several eco bags at hand. “Wash up ka na
muna and take a rest after. I’ll cook up something para makakain ka bago uminom ng
gamot.”

Aiah followed suit without any complaints. She knows that a serious Jhoanna is not
something to mess with, especially with the tone in her voice and the seriousness of her face.
Soon enough, Aiah’s donned a fresh set of sleepwear, feeling a little lighter than earlier but
the pulsing headache didn’t help her one bit. She went downstairs after, smelling whatever
was being cooked in the kitchen.

What greeted her was Jhoanna in a messy bun, sleeveless black vest partnered with her light
chinos, white coat already abandoned on the coat hanger.

“Upo ka lang dyan, Aiah. Patapos na ‘tong niluluto ko.”

“Alright.”

It didn’t take long before Jhoanna placed a bowl full of hot arroz caldo in front if the sick
girl.

“Something basic muna since baka pagsaktan ka ng tyan. Sabihan mo ako if gusto mo na
kumain ng full meal and if kaya na ng sikmura mo para I can cook for you.”

“I think this is okay for now, Jho. Thank you.”

As Aiah's about to eat her first spoonful, she looks at the doctor in front of her who's staring
at her at the moment.

‘Ikaw, Jho?”

“Hm?”

“Hindi ka ba kakain?”

“Okay lang ako.”

Aiah's face fell. “Ihhh, sabayan mo na ako. Please?”

With a tiny smile, Jhoanna playfully rolled her eyes and stood up to grab a bowl for herself.

“Sige na nga. Pa-baby mo pala pag may sakit, no?”

Aiah only stuck her tongue out before going back to her soup.

As they were eating, Aiah noticed that Jhoanna's eating the same food as her.

“Jho, let me order food for you. Bakit tinitiis mo yang arroz caldo when you're not sick
naman?”

“Uy, ano ka ba? Okay na ako dito. Tsaka para at least may karamay ka kumain nito. And
okay naman sya ah? Masarap nga eh.”

“Sus, masarap. Syempre ikaw nagluto.”

“Nag culinary courses ‘to! Pinaghandaan ko talaga pagluluto ng mga ganitong malulungkot
na pagkain para hindi na s’ya masyado malungkot.”

If Aiah would be honest, she'd definitely agree in a heartbeat that despite the simplicity of the
food, Jhoanna still managed to make it enjoyable, to think that her taste buds aren't
cooperating right now.

“Hm, well, okay naman s’ya.”

Out of the blue, Aiah felt a hand on the tip of her nose. Jhoanna just squeezed her nose.

“Sus, alam ko na yang ngiting yan. Nasarapan ka na naman sa luto ko.”

If Aiah was surprised by the doctor's action, she didn’t show it and instead, just rolled her
eyes jokingly. “Conceited.”

“O s’ya, ubusin mo na yan at iinom ka pang gamot,” she then touched her forehead, “mas
mainit ka na ngayon kesa kanina. Kailangan mo mamahinga talaga.”

“Yes po, doc.”

A few moments (and a few banters) later, they're back in Aiah's room. Jhoanna had to force
the woman to stay put on the bed while she cleaned up most of the clutter around.

“Nilagay ko sa tupperware yung natitirang arroz caldo. Just microwave it pag nagutom ka.
Drink paracetamol after four hours. Naglagay na rin ako ng palanggana incase masuka ka.”

“Sige na, Jho. Uwi ka na rin. Kaya ko na ‘to. Big girl na ako.”

The doctor hesitated for a bit. She's not sure whether it's wise to leave the girl alone or not.

“Promise, Jho. I'll be fine. Kailangan mo rin mamahinga.”

“Sure ka?”
“Yes po. I'll call when I need some help.”

Still with hesitant steps, she walked towards the door while still looking at her.

“Jho.”

“Eto na nga. I'll be going na.”

“Ingat ka, Jho. Thank you and goodnight.”

Jhoanna was just fixing her things when an inkling feeling struck her. There's a nagging
feeling inside of her telling her not to leave Aiah alone. Besides, her conscience wouldn't
allow it anyway.

Instead, she went ahead and borrowed Aiah’s house keys and car keys which she
conveniently left on the coffee table.

“Hiramin ko lang saglit, Aiah. Babalik ako.”

Her apartment is not that far away from Aiah's. It took her a little less than fifteen minutes to
reach home. She grabbed some toiletries, essentials, a change of clothing, and the book she's
been reading recently, bookmarked with a random polaroid she found since she couldn't find
any bookmarks at home. She quickly took a shower and changed into her pajamas. It took her
approximately twenty minutes before she was back on the road again, on the way back to
Aiah's apartment.
She quietly entered the apartment in case the owner’s already asleep. She went upstairs and
carefully peaked at the slightly ajar door with light seeping through. Aiah asked to keep her
bedside lamp open earlier so she wouldn't stumble in case she needed to move around.

Slowly, she walked inside, with her book in tow. She can hear Aiah’s slow, steady breathing
despite being buried under her comforter.

She shook her head. She's sure that the girl's having chills. The AC's off, with only the
opened window bringing in fresh air from the outside.

She settled herself on the chair she left earlier placed beside the bed and started reading her
book. She knows it's really late but she doesn't feel a wink of sleep just yet.

Ten pages later, she suddenly heard soft whimpers from underneath the comforter.

“Aiah?” she softly called to not startle the girl.

She walked closer and tried to put her hand on top of the bundled-up woman. Aiah's shaking
bad.

“Aiah?” she tried to wake the girl up. She removed the comforter and she saw how bad Aiah
was shivering. She immediately hugged the girl and wrapped her with the comformer.

“J… Jho…”

“Wait lang, Aiah. Kuha akong towel at warm water. Can you sit up?”

Carefully, she pushed herself up and leaned on her headboard. Jhoanna left the room to grab
some towels and a container filled with warm water.
“Punasan kita ng warm water. Hold on.”

As careful as she could be, Jhoanna tended to Aiah with much care and thought. Aiah could
only hold on to the doctor in her weakened state.

“Saan damitan mo? Need mo magpalit ng damit since medyo nabasa rin.” Aiah pointed
towards her wardrobe and Jhoanna immediately grabbed some comfortable sleepwear for
Aiah. She assisted the girl in changing without problems as Aiah's not protesting, knowing
that she herself can't easily move with her current state.

Once done, her phone alarm rang, indicating the scheduled intake of medicine for Aiah.
“Inom ka na munang gamot bago mahiga. I'll just wake you up later pag iinom na ulit.”

“O-okay. Thank you, Jho.”

Once done, Aiah settled herself back on her bed. Jhoanna took another reading of her
temperature and seemed a little relieved once it went down one degree. She's down to 38
degrees.

“Bumababa naman na lagnat mo. Pahinga ka lang dyan, Aiah. Don't worry much about
anything at the moment. Pagaling ka lang dyan.”

“Hmmm.” Jhoanna went back to her seat, but not before caressing Aiah's hair and fixing her
comforter. She also moved her chair closer so that she can check her temperature from time
to time.

A few minutes into the current chapter she's reading, she didn’t notice that she's
absentmindedly playing with Aiah's hand which took hold of her free hand a few moments
ago. But she didn't mind, though. In fact, she felt more relaxed when Aiah took a hold of her
hand.

“Jho?” she softly called even with her eyes closed.

“Po?”

“Why did you come back here?”

“I don't think kaya ng konsensya kong iwan ka mag-isa dito habang ganito ka.”

“Hmmm…”

“Can you sit here beside me?” she then looked at the doctor with tired eyes. She scooted a bit
to the side to give space for Jhoanna to sit on.

“Sure ka?”

“Please?”

Looking at her pleading eyes, Jhoanna decided to stand up and sit in the empty space beside
Aiah. She leaned on the headboard and scooted closer to the sick girl beside her, putting her
head by her lap.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Silence took over and Jhoanna decided to go back to her book. But as she was about to turn
the page, she felt the woman beside her snuggle closer to her side. In turn, she slowly ran her
hands through her hair, softly caressing her head in the process.

“I was hoping you'd stay, actually. Thank you for not leaving.”

It only took a few minutes before Aiah's breathing came to a slow constant rhythm, indicating
that she'd already fallen asleep. Jhoanna checked her watch. It's already 12:30 am.

She grabbed her phone and messaged someone, knowing full well that the person was surely
still awake at this hour.

[ Hi, doc Jea! Gising ka pa ba?] - Jhoanna

[ Heyy yes! Still awake. Btw I saw your truck sa parking kanina. Iniwan mo?] - Doc Jea

[Actually, I'm here at Aiah's place. Pinagdrive ko sya kanina. Mataas lagnat nya now so
binabantayan ko.] - Jhoanna

[Halaaa :( is she okay? Saw her din around the hospital recently. She's not looking too
well when I last saw her. Tell her to get well soon.] - Doc Jea

[Yeah. Actually pinilit ko syang magpacheck up na kay Doc Yves kanina. Buti nakinig.
Which reminds me. Is it okay to ask you a favor? Promise babawi ako, doc] - Jhoanna

[Hmm, let me guess. You're gonna ask me to cover your shift for later?] - Doc Jea
 [well… yes sana. If okay lang naman? Mostly rounds lang naman. Sorry, I can't leave
Aiah like this kasi :( ] - Jhoanna

[Sakto ka, off ko talaga bukas tho I don't have any plans naman. So oks lang for me.] -
Doc Jea

{Hala, sure? Walang halong sama ng loob?] - Jhoanna

[Hahahaha basta libre mo ako soon. And pakilala mo si Ms. Arceta sa'kin. She
probably needs you there more. Ako na muna bahala magcheck kay Ms. Lim mamaya.]
- Doc Jea

[Halaa thank youu doooc! Huhu babawi talaga ako promise.] - Jhoanna

[Alam kong di ka rin mapapakali kung magwowork ka mamaya kaya go alagaan mo na

si Ms. Arceta. Pero pahinga ka rin. Di pwedeng pati ikaw magkasakit.] - Doc Jea

[Yes, doc! Thank you talagaa. Magkatuluyan na sana kayo ni Doc Jane hahaha!] -
Jhoanna

[LAH ASDJSLJSKSKSKS] - Doc Jea

[Uy, kinilig yan sha] - Jhoanna

[Shhh magbantay ka nalang dyan. Bye] - Doc Jea

There's one person left to contact so she didn't waste any time to message her.
 [ Good eve, Ms. Sevilleja! I have something to tell you lang.] - Jhoanna

[Hi Doc! Gising ka pa pala? Ano po yun?] - Stacey

[I'm with Aiah right now. She's running a fever pero you don't need to worry. Ako na
bahala sa kanya. Just want to inform you since baka hindi sya makabalik sa hospital
mamaya. Doc Jea's gonna check on Ms. Lim on my behalf.] - Jhoanna

[Hala?! Ate Aiah naman ehhh :( Pero super thanks talaga doc Robles, ikaw na nag
asikaso sa kanya. Bumigay na rin katawan nya. Sige doc, usapin ko nalang pinsan ko.
Bakasyon naman nya ngayon alam ko. Sya muna papalit sakin bukas.] - Stacey

[Alright! Yun lang naman, Ms. Sevilleja. Take care of yourself din. Good night!] -
Jhoanna

[ Ikaw rin doc! Ingat and good night!] - Stacey

[ Mahilig magpa-baby yang si ate Aiah pag may sakit. Tip ko lang ] - Stacey

[Yep. Na-sample-an na ako kanina actually hehe 😅 ] - Jhoanna

After talking to the necessary people, she tried to finish the current chapter of her book but
sleep has finally caught up on her. It's been a tiring day for her, not to mention suddenly
taking care of a sick person.
Accepting defeat, she closed her book, removed her glasses, and adjusted to a comfier
position for both her and Aiah. The latter's been clinging on to her since earlier.

With one last look at the sleeping girl, she gave her a smile and a soft kiss on her head.

“Goodnight, Aiah. Pagaling ka na.”

The sun was already glowing brilliantly when she opened her eyes. She can’t comprehend
anything at the moment, except for the body pain she’s been feeling.

She tried to get up but then realized something. She remembered a certain doctor being
present the moment before she drifted to dreamland. Although she’s not sure if it was all just
a dream or if it actually happened.

Her questions were quickly answered, however, when she found a book neatly placed on top
of her bedside table. She looked at it and noticed a polaroid sticking out from one of its
pages. She looked closely and she couldn’t help but smile when she saw that it’s a candid
photo of the doctor.

“Andito nga s’ya kagabi…”

And as if answering her queries further, the door opened, revealing the said doctor with a tray
of food at hand.
“Good morning, Aiah! Kain ka na muna para makainom ka na ng gamot. How are you
feeling?” Jhoanna asked as she settled the tray beside the woman. She touched Aiah’s
forehead to check on her temperature. “Hm, at least hindi na ‘sing-init nung kagabi. Pero you
still have to take your meds, ha?”

“Yes po, Doc.”

“‘Ba yan. Doc na naman tawag mo sa’kin.”

“You’re being one right now so I can’t help it,” Aiah just stuck her tongue out while teasing
the doctor. “It’s like, may personal doctor ako. Wow, ang sosyal ko naman pala. So, eto na
pala bonding natin.”

“Hindi nakaka-sosyal yang may sakit, Aiah. And kung gusto mo ng bonding, we can always
bond anytime kahit na wala kang sakit. I’ll visit you naman anytime.”

“Anytime?”

“Hmm, why not? I mean, anytime na wala akong shift or any urgent matters. We can always
hang out naman if you want.”

“Lakas ko naman pala sa’yo, Jho.”

“Syempre naman. We’re friends now so consider me as someone you can lean on anytime.”

They were covered in silence after that, with Aiah finishing the last of her meal. She still has
to drink her medicine.

“Babalik ka kay Doc Yves sa isang araw, no?” Jhoanna asked.

“Yeah, after two days daw eh. We’ll get the results of my blood chem.”

“Okay. Samahan na kita. May tatanong din ako sa kanya eh.”

“Okay. But, is it alright to ask you something?”

Jhoanna looked at her puzzled for asking permission but smiled anyway. “Sure, ask away
lang.”

Aiah paused for a bit before speaking, “Si Doc Ricalde, college friend mo rin?”

“Yeah. Naging classmates kami during college pero med school na talaga kami naging close.
She was always borrowing notes from Nicole tapos naiirita ako sa kanya that time. Lagi rin
kasi silang project partners kaya naiinis ako pag nakikita ko sila apartment magkasama.”

“Ohhh, so did she and Colet have something back then?” Aiah had to gauge the doctor’s
reaction after mentioning that part but seeing the doctor chill about it eased her insides
somehow.

“Funny thing is, naging wingwoman pa namin yang si Maloi. She invited Nicole to a concert
then ‘ditched’ her the last minute para kami ni Nicole ang magkasama manood. By the way,
Maloi was her nickname back then pala. Nagrebrand lang s’ya to Yves nung nakapasa kami
para raw medyo sosyal pakinggan. Babaeng yun talaga, daming trip eh.”

Aiah then realized something. “Wait, so does she know that she’s alive?”

Jhoanna only shook her head. “Hindi ko na rin sinabi. I mean, ako mismo, sobrang naguluhan
nung nakita ko s’ya. So it’ll be another round of explaining to Yves about Colet. Pero kung
sakaling mag krus man ang landas nila, e di that’s the time I’ll explain things.”
Aiah only nodded to Jhoanna’s explanation. It’s amazing to see how she and her friends are
successful in their chosen fields.

“Anong gusto mo for lunch? Para I can buy ingredients in case wala kang stock.”

“Huh?” Aiah looked at her with confusion all over her face, “Don’t you have work pala?
Now that I remember, shouldn’t you be at the hospital by now?”

“Ah… about that. Si Doc Jea muna nag cover sa shift ko. Okay lang naman daw sa kanya.
And sabi nya, pagaling ka raw.”

“Jho, I’m okay naman na. You’re skipping work because of me.” Jhoanna can’t help but
chuckle at Aiah who’s pouting right now.

“Aiah, may sakit ka. As a doctor and as your friend, I can’t just let you deal with this alone.
Kaya please, let me take care of you?”

She can see the pleading look in the eyes of the doctor. Despite saying repeatedly that she’s
fine on her own, she knows well deep down inside of her that she’s yearning for that feeling
of being taken care of. And now that someone is willing to do that, she’s this close to giving
in to that yearning. But of course, she doesn’t want to take advantage of the doctor.

But maybe just this once, she’ll let herself be weak and vulnerable.

“Fine. And for the ulam, can I request pork adobo?”

“Anything for you.”

 ##

Chapter End Notes

More Jhoaiah moments hehe (friendship premium pro max muna)

And na-miss nyo ba ang favorite wingwoman ng Jholet? hahaha Maloi is baaccck (ay
mali, nag rebrand na nga pala to Yves ahaha)
Also let's thank doc Jea for lowkey being Jhoaiah's wingwoman sa pagsalo salo ng mga
shifts ni Jho pag kailangan sya ni Aiah hehehe
 Letting Go For Good
Chapter Summary

Two weeks are up. Will Mikha wake up?; A long-lost person will suddenly reappear.

Chapter Notes

TW: Harsh words and medyo out-of-character for some here. Baka lang magulat kayo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

LETTING GO FOR GOOD

Twelve days.

It has been twelve days since the operation.

But still no response.

The room was quiet, with the lone figure sleeping peacefully on the far side of the sofa. The
loss of weight was evident on her face. The stress from the past months can be read clearly on
her face.

Aiah has recovered after receiving proper care from Jhoanna. She spent three days being
strictly monitored by the doctor to not further worsen her condition. However, she can’t leave
things as it is for too long. So she opted to get back on her feet quickly once her fever
subsided despite Jhoanna’s protests.
It’s been a grueling two months for all of them. Numerous times they thought they'd lose her.
Aiah and Stacey, with Sheena's support, had been juggling their lives between work and
accompanying their friend.

It’s been hard for Jhoanna, too. For those few months of seeing Aiah, being with Aiah,
talking with Aiah, deeper and deeper, she fell for the woman. She knows it’s not the right
time. She knows what she’s doing is pure idiocy. She knows it’s stupid to think that she has a
chance. But she also knows that she has a duty as a doctor, Mikha's doctor.

It took some time for her to accept her past with Nicole, or Colet as she's now called. With
the help of Aiah, and amazingly Colet herself, she’s come to terms with the reality. The
person she once knew doesn’t exist anymore. But she’s open to embracing who she is now,
but it will definitely not be like how it was before.

Stacey has been more accepting of Mikha's situation. She has accepted the fact that they need
to let her go sooner or later. Every one of them will just suffer more, including Mikha herself.
Even after that last operation, she didn’t get her hopes up. Every passing day with no
response from their friend, her hopes began crashing down, piece by piece.

It’s a gloomy afternoon, with the drizzling rain hitting the only window of the hospital room
softly. Jhoanna quietly entered the room, noting the peacefulness of Aiah's sleeping figure.

She didn't bother to wake her up. She's just here to check up on her patient just like what
she’s been doing for the past two weeks.

Two weeks. It’s almost up. And yet, no response from her.

Two weeks of waiting and intensive monitoring and yet, no response.

Two weeks are running out. And once time runs out, they have to make the final decision.

As she moved closer, she noticed the figures on the monitor changing unusually.

"Huh?"

As she walked even closer, she also noticed something that they'd been anxiously waiting for
months.

Mikha's finger moved.

One could say it's a miracle because that's how Jhoanna would describe it. After almost two
weeks of no signs of recovery, this is the least she’s expecting from her.

As if it wasn't enough, Mikha's eyelids started moving, much to the doctor's confusion.

She walked beside Mikha, observing her more up close, making sure that she isn't seeing
things, and she definitely wasn't.

The doctor was dumbstruck. She remained frozen while watching a miracle unfold in front of
her.

Terminal Lucidity, she suddenly thought. If that was the case, then…

"D-doc…" were the first words at Mikha's attempt to speak, albeit really hoarse due to the
tracheal tube attached, bringing Jhoanna's attention back to reality.

"Ms. Lim?" She called softly. She wasn't sure if she should wake Aiah up.
She was about to approach the sleeping companion when she felt a hand on her finger. She
didn't notice that Mikha was holding her.

"D-don't…" motioning her eyes towards Aiah. Jhoanna walked back slowly beside her
instead.

"Ms. Lim? Gising ka na talaga? Do you recognize yourself?" she whispers.

"Yeah… M-mik…kha," she answered with obvious struggle.

Jhoanna still couldn't believe what she was seeing now.

"D-doc," she softly spoke, "can I… have a w-word with… y-you?"

The doctor could only nod, although she was worried about the strain this might cause
Mikha. She leaned in closer, with her ears right above Mikha's mouth.

"Ai…" she started.

"Aiah?" the doctor asked.

"Please… take… c-care of h-her," Mika said in a pleading tone.

"Pero… bakit?" it's more of asking Mikha why she's telling her all this suddenly.

“I… heard… everything.”

Jhoanna froze. It completely slipped her mind that even in a coma, a patient has a possibility
of hearing things around her.

“Ms. Lim, I…” she’s lost for words. How would she tell Mikha about how she feels? She’s
Aiah’s ex-lover for fuck’s sake.

“I’m sorry. ‘Di ko sinasadya. I–”

“It’s okay,” she said, cutting Jhoanna off.

“I t-trust y-you.”

“Huh…” Jhoanna was left confused.

“S-she’ll need y-you,” she said in broken words, “t-take care… of h-her.”

“Ms. LIm…” Jhoanna’s lost for words. It seems like she’s leaving Aiah to her hands.

They stayed quiet for a while, with Mikha letting a lone tear escape her eyes

“Doc?” she suddenly heard a sleepy voice behind her. Aiah’s voice.

She was frozen on her spot, with MIkha looking blankly at the ceiling.

Footsteps became closer and closer until she felt the older's presence beside her.
Aiah gasps at what she's seeing. She's really seeing Mikha's eyes. Mikha is really awake.

"M-mikhs?!" She called out, to which the other responded with a very weak smile.

"H-hey."

"Labas lang ako,” Jhoanna said as she strode her way towards the door, messaging Stacey in
the process.

Once outside, she felt her knees buckle so she had to use the wall to support her.

"Bakit, Mikha?"

She still hadn't absorbed what Mikha told her earlier.

Her phone broke her train of thought as it kept ringing nonstop, most probably coming from
Stacey.

"Hel—"

"On the way na ako, Doc! Tell that idiot to hold on. Marami akong gustong sabihin sa
kanya." She can hear the rustling in the background, plus the sound of a car door closing
loudly.

"Drive safe, Ms. Sevilleja. Kausap nya si Ms. Arceta ngayon," Jhoanna said weakly. She
doesn’t know what those two are talking about.

“Please pasabi, intayin nya ako.”

“Don’t worry, I'm sure inaantay ka rin nya.”

Jhoanna has been in the same position since she stepped out of the room. That’s what greeted
a breathless Stacey after literally running from the parking lot.

“Saan?” she asked, still breathless.

“Sa loob pa rin. Not sure if tapos na sila mag-usap.”

“Okay lang kayang pumasok ako?”

“Siguro naman.”

Jhoanna moved aside, letting Stacey enter the said room. She decided to wait by the chairs in
front of the room. She doesn’t wanna break the reunion those three are having.

But at the same time, she couldn’t brush off whatever Mikha said to her.

“Narinig ba talaga nya lahat?”

It’s possible, she thought. As Doc Mallari mentioned earlier, a comatose patient might not be
able to move but they may be conscious inside, depending on the patient’s case.

Minutes passed by, with Jhoanna sitting patiently outside, waiting for any one of the two to
go out. She needed Doc Cruz’s opinion on this. They still have to check if Mikha really did
wake up or if this is what she’s dreading; a terminal lucidity.
She already informed Doc Jea of the situation. She’s guessing that she’s already coordinating
with the other doctors.

Just in time when the said doctor arrived, Stacey opened the door. Her red, puffy eyes didn’t
go unnoticed by Jhoanna. She’s suddenly worried about how Aiah’s doing inside.

“Ms. Sevilleja, check muna namin si Ms. Lim, okay lang?”

“Sige, pasok kayo. Andyan naman si ate Aiah. Papahangin lang ako.”

Three doctors entered the room, with the two of them were surprised after seeing Mikha's
opened eyes.

“Ms. Lim?” Jhoanna tentatively called. She momentarily looked at the person sitting quietly
on the sofa. And just like Stacey, she has red eyes and a red nose. There has been a lot of
crying involved earlier.

MIkha then moved her eyes from Jhoanna to Jea, then to Doc Cruz, familiarizing herself with
them one by one. She can probably recognize their voices but she has no idea what they look
like.

“Ms. Arceta? Pwede ka ba namin makausap para sa mga next steps for Ms. Lim?”

Aiah nodded then walked towards them. She briefly looked at Jhoanna before standing beside
Jea.

“Ms. Lim, we would be needing to do some tests to check your brain movements. To be quite
frank, this came out quite a surprise for us based on your last results so we just want to make
sure that everything’s going smoothly.

“Alright.”
They wasted no time after that talk. Immediately, Doc Cruz arranged for Mikha to go through
some tests to see if this was indeed real.

And as expected, not everything can be rainbows and butterflies.

---

The next day, they are all huddled inside Mikha's room. Jhoanna, Aiah, and Stacey. In
Jhoanna’s hand is an envelope painfully familiar to the two. It can only contain either good or
bad news. Mikha's currently asleep.

Jhoanna cleared her throat before starting. “So, nakuha na namin ang results from her latest
test and na-discuss na rin namin nina doc Cruz.” She opened the envelope slowly.

“So according to the results, successful naman yung last operation, pero hindi pa rin namin
alam bakit wala man lang s'yang pinakitang signs ng recovery the past days. Normally, kung
hindi magrespond ang katawan ng patient sa donor cell at a given timeframe, it just means na
hindi tanggap ng katawan yung donor cell. To be honest, this is a very rare occurrence, kaya
none of us predicted na ganito ang mangyayari. Pero here we are. Masasabi kong isa ulit
itong milagro.”

The two have been holding their breaths since Jhoanna entered, so hearing that actually gave
them relief. Stacey slowly released the breath she’s been holding.
“So, meaning ba, pagaling na si Mikhs?” Stacey wants to smile. She really does. But
something about Jhoanna’s expression doesn’t sit right with her.

“Actually, may isa pa.” She then pulled another piece of paper from the envelope.

The bad news, Stacey thought. Aiah has been silent the whole time, still absorbing
everything.

“May treatment na need s'ya mag-undergo. Actually, it’s more like a therapy than a treatment,
so pangmatagalan ito. This will take some time.”

“If it’s needed, then let’s proceed with it.” Aiah firmly said.

With how Jhoanna hesitated to answer, the two knew there was something more to it that they
should worry about.

“Uhm, ayun ang issue. That treatment, walang facility sa Pinas ang kayang magconduct nun.
Wala rin sa'min may training para dun…”

“What…”

“As far as technology goes, nagchecheck kami sa mga partner hospitals namin kung saan
merong facility for that. We’ll update you immediately pag may nakita kami.”

As Jhoanna’s about to wrap up, a knock was heard from the door.

“Wait lang.”
Stacey opened the door only to freeze midway. Aiah was no different. Both of them stood in
their spots, obvious surprise on their faces.

Who could this be?

Seeing that no one dared to break the silence, Jhoanna approached the newcomer instead.
“May I help you po?”

The figure looked at the two stunned women in the room before bowing down to the doctor
inside. “Uh, I’m Renzo Lim and I’m here for patient Mikha Lim.”

Renzo Lim, of course, Jhoanna figured that he’s most probably a relative of hers, also with
the way Aiah and Stacey reacted upon seeing him. And the strong resemblance of the man
with Mikha, it’s not far-fetched that this may be her long-lost brother.

“I believe relative po kayo ng pasyente?”

“She’s actually my sister.”

Now, Jhoanna fully understood why the two would react that way. She heard the story. She
knew that somewhere during the hardest times, the brother left the scene without a trace. So
she understands if there will be any resentment coming from the two.

Taking over the situation for a bit, she speaks up again. “Will it be alright if we talk outside
first?”

Understanding the situation, Renzo nodded reluctantly before stepping outside again, with
Jhoanna following him. She closed the door behind her before walking a bit further away
from the room, away from the two’s earshot.
“I’m in no place to meddle with family affairs pero I believe hindi ka gaano ka-welcomed
base sa reaction nung dalawa,” Jhoanna said straight on. Personally, she’s a bit mad but she
can’t let her personal feelings affect her work.

Renzo didn’t show any hostility. Instead, he bowed his head further, sighing in the process.

“I’m sure in some way, they’ve told you about what happened. And yes, I can’t deny na
umalis ako bigla during the worst time possible.”

“Then, why?” She wanted to know so badly because to be honest, that event might have
triggered the start of the domino effect that made the situation worse.

She observed the older man. He has bags under his eyes, hair a bit disheveled, cheeks a little
bit flushed. He’s stressed out.

He sat down on the nearby bench and Jhoanna followed suit. He then put his head against his
palm, wiping off the stress from his face, as if that helped.

“I was unwell. I know that Mikhs needed someone during those times, but I knew I was at
my limit. Aware naman ako that I'm not doing good as well. I lost my parents, too. And if I
tried to help my sister, we’d just both break even more. Sobrang bigat for me to leave her
pero I can't face her with the state I was in back then. I was so broken and depressed that I
almost took my own life. So I sought some help.”

“Pero you left nang walang pasabi. Parang ghinost mo sila. Bakit? You could’ve told her your
situation.”

Renzo's face became more depressed as if remembering those times like they happened
yesterday.

“I know my little sister. She's already blaming herself sa nangyari sa parents namin. So if she
learns that I was getting depressed and mentally ill because of it, she’ll probably blame
herself for it as well. So I just left without a word. She must've thought that I was a coward
for running away. Pero I don’t care if she hated me for it but as long as she doesn’t blame
herself, I could live with that. So I flew to Australia.”

As much as it’s not the smartest thing to do, Jhoanna can see where he is coming from. This
is just like what Aiah did before. She ran away to heal herself.

And besides, he was not in his best state of mind when he decided that.

“I know, it’s not the smartest decision. For all I know, I might have made things worse. And
pinagsisisihan ko rin yun.”

“So why return now? At biglaan?”

This time, his face changed into a determined one. Seems like he really does have a reason to
return at this moment. And it looks like he’s ready to make it up to her sister and Aiah and
Stacey even.

“It took me years to overcome this depression. Lots of prescriptions, different doctors,
therapies, sobrang daming nangyari. It was not the easiest journey for me. I disconnected
from everything that reminds me of that event. But along those years, I realized yung ginawa
ko sa kapatid ko. I know that someday, I have to make it up to her. And I pray to dear God
that I’m not too late. Kaya after my last therapy session, I was ready to come back again.
Prepared na akong harapin sila. But then I heard the news that she was involved in a terrible
accident. And it has already been a few weeks since that happened nung nalaman ko.”

“So, alam mo na pala ang nangyari? And ngayon ka lang bumalik?”

Jhoanna wants to understand. She doesn’t want to hate on him. So she kept her composure
and waited for him to continue.
“I actually heard it from a doctor friend of mine. He’s a junior of one of the finest
neurosurgeons around Australia. And that surgeon happens to be a Filipino as well. Kaya
hinanap ko s'ya. Apparently, he knows of the situation since he’s been helping a team of
neurosurgeons from this hospital. And there I confirmed that the patient is indeed my sister.”

One name popped in Jhoanna’s head at the moment. Dr. Anna Cruz.

“Kinausap ko si Doc Vergara about it. So, when I heard that she needed a donor for the stem
cell, I didn't hesitate to volunteer. They said na wala raw kayong makitang match dito sa
Pinas I felt bad that I might be too late by then. But thankfully, umabot ako. He knew that
there was a possibility na my sister needed to undergo some special treatment. And he also
knew that there was a chance that na wala dito sa Pinas yung need na tech. So he made some
research and contingency plans that when this exact scenario happens, we’ll be ready.”

Wait, Doc Vergara?

“He’s actually recommending moving my sister to one of the biggest hospitals in Australia
since they specialize in the treatment she needs. Ididiscuss siguro nya with Mikha's doctors
anytime soon. Atsaka, it's also the reason why I'm here. I'm bringing my sister to Australia.”

Even while listening to him, she can’t shake off her curiosity. There are a lot of Vergaras in
the medical field. But not a lot that is well-known, more so, internationally.

“Pwedeng malaman kung sinong Doc Vergara sinasabi mo?”

“Doc Niko Vergara.”

Of course, who else could it be? The well-known neurosurgeon prodigy Dr. Niko Vergara.
One of the best alumni of UST. MMC’s pride and joy. And the ultimate idol of her beloved
Nicole. Her father, Niko Vergara.
With how Renzo's explanation went, it seems like Doc Vergara has already discussed this
with him. Well, he’s her brother, so it’s only expected that they will discuss this with a
relative.

And as if the timing wasn’t perfect enough, she saw Doc Cruz walking in their direction.

“Doc Robles? May we discuss something? Tungkol kay Ms. Lim.”

Standing up, Renzo only gave her an unsure smile. He probably knows that this will be about
the move that he explained earlier. Well, guess she gotta thank him for somehow giving her a
heads up.

Sitting inside the conference room somehow felt stuffy. She’s here with Dr. Cruz, Dr. Torres,
Dr. Mallari, and Dr. Salvador. It seems like they’re setting up the Cisco conference monitor.
And she’s guessing that they will have another participant in this meeting: Dr. Niko Vergara.

“Inaantay lang natin si Doc Vergara,” Dr. Jung said.

A few moments later, the black screen was replaced by a white room in view. In the middle
of the screen is a man in his 50s whom Jhoanna knows so well.

Nicole’s father, she thought.

Not too different from her, the said doctor also somehow locked his eyes on one particular
person in the room, specifically, Dr. Robles. The surprise on his face was not too obvious but
Jhoanna could see through it. Besides, he has known this man for years after practically being
like an adopted child of the Vergara family during her younger years.
And true to Renzo’s words, they discussed the plan to move Mikha to Royal Melbourne
Hospital. It’s one of the best hospitals in Australia and it is where Dr. Vergara’s currently
working right now.

“I’ve been in talks with the patient’s brother for some time now since he’s also in Australia.
But I believe he flew to the Philippines just this morning to help process this move,” Doc
Vergara said through the conference call. This only confirms whatever Renzo has told her.

And her head’s already aching just thinking about how to explain this to Aiah and Stacey. She
doesn't know if those two will be willing to listen to him immediately.

“Nakausap ko sya kanina actually, si Renzo Lim,” Jhoanna suddenly said. The other doctors
in the room looked at her.

“S’ya ba yung kausap mo kanina?” Doc Cruz asked.

“Yes po. Na-mention na rin nya yung purpose of visit nya dito sa Pinas.”

“I have a question, though,” it was Jea who raised her hand this time.

“Technically speaking, si Ms. Arceta at Ms. Sevilleja pa rin ang nakapirma as legal
guardians. Pero since andito na ang kapatid ni Ms. Lim, kaninong desisyon ang ihohonor?
Para in case lang magkaiba sila ng decision, we know which one to follow. Hindi pa rin
namin nakakausap yung dalawa.”

“Dr. Salvador’s question seems valid. Since ngayon lang nagpakita si Mr. Lim, baka
magkaroon ng conflicts if the two guardians decided against it.”

Doc Vergara was about to speak when Jhoanna raised her hand. “I’ll speak with the
guardians. Nagbigay na sila ng go signal to do whatever it takes so I strongly believe na
papayag naman sila.”
With that said, all the doctors looked at her, including Doc Vergara.

“Okay. We believe in you, Doc Robles.”

---

Once outside of the meeting room, Jhoanna can’t still shake the fact that she just faced the
father of her past lover after learning all about Colet. She has a lot of questions for him. Why
did they move out of the country so suddenly? Why is he in Australia now? Why did she
receive false news that Nicole died? And what happened to her that she became Colet that
she met now?

Just outside the room, Renzo has been standing there for minutes, afraid to even knock. He
knows he’s not welcome here. And he understands. He can’t blame them for it.

Still undecided, he stood there for another minute, unmoving. That was until the door
suddenly opened with Stacey looking at him eye to eye. He can feel the distaste of the
younger towards him.
He was about to speak when another voice from behind him spoke.

“Ms. Sevilleja, may need ako i-discuss with you and Ms. Arceta, okay lang ba?”

Stacey retreated inside, letting Jhoanna enter.

“Kung okay lang sa inyo, pwede ba nating isama si Mr. Lim?”

She saw how tense the two became after she asked that. But seeing a tight nod from Aiah,
Stacey finally gave in and nodded too.

“Yeah, sure.”

Albeit cold, this gave Jhoanna a slight relief before inviting the brother inside.

“So, we had another meeting earlier regarding sa upcoming treatment for Ms. Lim.”

Aiah looked at her intensely. She could only hope for good news. Having Mikha’s brother
suddenly back still confused the hell out of her but she can’t be bothered by that at the
moment.

“Laking pasalamat din siguro natin na nakipag-partner tayo sa ibang team externally para
mapalawak ang paghahanap ng proper facility na kayang gawin ang treatment na kailangan ni
Ms. Lim. We actually found one who can conduct and maintain yung therapy na need ni Ms.
Lim.”

“Well, that’s great news, then!” Stacey stated, with a little excitement in her voice.
“Please, Doc Robles. Kahit anong paraan as long as Mikha’s going to be better.” It was
Aiah’s pleading voice. It somehow breaks her to hear the older woman’s broken plea.

“It was recommended for her to be moved to Royal Melbourne Hospital. Nandoon ang isa sa
pinakamagaling na neurosurgeon na tumapak sa ospital na ‘to. Dati syang neuro dito way
back. Kaya rin kilala s’ya ng buong team.”

“Melbourne… Australia?” it was an unsure tone. Jhoanna could only pray that this wouldn’t
lead to any objections from the two.

“...yeah. Actually, kaya rin andito si Mr. Lim ngayon. Andito s’ya para asikasuhin yung
transfer at mga documents ni Ms. Lim. S’ya mismo makakasama ni Ms. Lim if ever
itatransport s’ya sa Australia.”

“So is that why you suddenly returned here? After all those years?! To take her away from
us?!” Aiah’s booming voice surprised the hell out of everyone, even Stacey. She’s just
thankful that Mikha’s under medication right now and is fast asleep.

“I-” he was about to speak but Aiah suddenly lunged forward, holding him by his collar,
punching him on the chest.

“You went fucking missing during the time she needed you the most. You’re the only family
she has! And you fucking vanished at the worst time possible! Do you understand what you
did? Huh?! Naiintindihan mo ba ang ginawa mo?! And now here you are suddenly appearing
just to take her away from us!? Are you fucking for real now?!”

The scene right in front of her stunned her. This is the first time seeing Aiah this agitated.
She’s raging. And she knows she needs to do something before things escalate to worse.

Toughening herself up, she immediately inserted herself between the two and grabbed the
raging woman’s hands, attempting to stop her from punching Renzo further.
“Please Ms. Arceta, kalma-”

“NO! THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE COMPLICATION HE

BROUGHT AND THE AUDACITY TO SHOW UP HERE? THE FUCKING NERVE YOU
HAVE!”

“Ms. Arceta, please kumalma ka, nasa ospital-”

“BITAWAN MO AKO! LET ME SHOW THAT FUCKER WHAT HE’S DO-”

“AIAH ARCETA! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! PLEASE.” This time, Jhoanna decided to
fully hug Aiah, not minding the fact that Stacey and Renzo were still inside the room.

“Aiah, please… Kalma ka na. Nandito lang ako.”

She can still feel Aiah trying to escape her grasp, which makes her hug the woman even
tighter. Despite all the attempts Aiah made, Jhoanna’s stronger than her so she just let her
body go limp in her embrace and buried her face in the crook of Jhoanna’s neck. The doctor
just gave Stacey and Renzo a look, silently telling them to leave them for a moment.
Thankfully, the two understood the unspoken plea from the doctor.

With the two gone, Aiah lets go of all the rage of emotions inside of her. The doctor felt her
clothes getting wet from her tears but she didn’t mind one bit. She felt her whole body
shaking. She can hear the pent-up anger that has probably built up all those years, being
released with every scream she lets out. The only thing she could do now was to caress her
back and let her release the anger inside of her while trying to muffle her screams with her
own body.

"It hurts, Jhoanna."

"Tangina, sobrang sakit makita si Renzo dito. All those wounds from years ago felt like they
opened one by one."

"He's the person we expected the most to stay. He's her fucking brother. But he was the first
one who left."

Jhoanna tried to caress Aiah, but she knew it wouldn't really help her. The thing she needs
right now is to release her anger, and letting her talk it out is the only way to do so.

So she let her be. She just kept quiet and listened to her.

"He could've been with her. He could've helped her. But he left. The only remaining family
she has had left her. I can't even imagine how painful that was for Mikhs. That's why I'm so
angry."

"I don't even know if I could forgive him right now."

"And after all this time of watching over her, she'll be taken away from us just like that? He
shows up just to take her away from us? And as if we still trust him after leaving us like that.
How could I trust him again?"

It's hard for Jhoanna, especially after learning Renzo’s valid reasons. If anything, he might
have helped the situation by helping himself to be able to get back out there and actually be
helpful once and for all. If not, she could only imagine what might have happened if Renzo
actually fell into his depression before. He might have… as much as she doesn't want to think
that… but suicide’s a real possibility if he didn't seek help.

But of course, it'll be hard to relay that to Aiah, who’s equally in pain. She can't invalidate her
feelings either.
She can't really blame anyone for the matter. Everyone was a victim of circumstance. They
all have valid reasons to feel what they are feeling right now.

But if there's one thing she's wishing for right now, she just hoped that Stacey, being the more
level-headed and rational one, isn't out there killing Renzo. And maybe, hopefully, they're
actually talking right now. Stacey is her last hope to help Aiah understand. But with the anger
she saw in Stacey’s eyes earlier, even that seems quite far-fetched.

She waited for the older woman to calm down, while continuously caressing her back.

“Okay ka na ba?” she asked softly after hearing her cries subside. She only felt a small nod
from her.

Even though she said that she’d rely on Stacey to help Aiah understand, she has to try,
somehow. Who knows? She might actually get through her.

“Aiah?” she called in her softest voice possible.

She didn’t respond but Jhoanna knew that Aiah’s finally listening.

“Alam kong wala ako sa posisyon para sabihin ‘to sa’yo. Pero pwede mo ba s’yang
pakinggan? Kahit isang beses lang?”

Aiah was about to retaliate when Jhoanna spoke again, “Pwede mong sabihin sa kanya lahat
ng sakit at hinanaing mo sa kanya. I’m sure makikinig naman sya. He’s repenting, so I’m
sure he’ll try to understand your side.”

“Pare-pareho kayong maraming pinagdaanan. I’m sure lahat kayo, maraming gustong
baguhin mula sa nakaraan. Pero sa ngayon, you need to be there for each other, kahit pa bitbit
nyo ang sakit ng nakaraan.”
Aiah still has her face buried in Jhoanna’s chest, afraid to meet the doctor’s eyes.

“I know, I know… I’m sorry for lashing out earlier. Sobrang sakit at bigat lang talagang
makita ulit s’ya. It’s like, all those pain from that time came back to me.”

Jhoanna caressed her back once more, “It’s okay. Trust me, walang galit sa’yo for saying
those. Your feelings are completely valid and understandable. Pero pag-usapan nyo, please?”

Aiah didn’t respond at first. Jhoanna can sense some refusal from the girl.

“Maraiah, please?”

Hearing Jhoanna call her like that, she can’t help but look at her in the eyes.

Jhoanna, in return, smiled to herself after seeing Aiah nod, albeit only a little. But at least,
Aiah’s giving him a chance now.

---

The three finally talked after Jhoanna urged them to talk privately amongst themselves. She
volunteered to watch over Mikha since it was the end of her shift anyway.

“Sana magkaunawaan na rin kayong tatlo kaya take all the time you need. Ako na ang bahala
dito kay Ms. Lim, okay?”
Jhoanna’s assuring voice did the trick so now, they’re in Aiah’s apartment, talking their hearts
out.

Stacey thankfully didn’t kill Renzo earlier, as much as her instincts wanted to. They already
have talked a bit earlier in the hospital while Jhoanna’s calming Aiah down.

Aiah, on the other hand, has been really, really stubborn.

And Renzo thought that Stacey’s gaze had been that bad. Aiah’s sharp gaze on him had his
whole life flashing right before his eyes.

Seeing the situation they’re in, Stacey thankfully took the initiative to calm the raging demon
inside her.

“Ate Aiah, alam ko namang gustong gusto mong balatan nang buhay si kuya Renzo sa
ngayon pero kalma ka muna. Let’s hear him out, please?”

Renzo promised to himself to thank Stacey generously after that.

---

“Hmm, ano na kayang nangyayari sa kanila…” Jhoanna mumbled to herself as she checked
her phone with no new messages from either Stacey or Aiah.
She then observed the sleeping patient.

“Alam mo, hindi ko alam kung malas o swerte ka ba sa kuya mo eh. Pero siguro, sa daming
nangyari recently, masasabi ko pa rin na swerte ka sa kapatid mo. Sinigurado nyang maayos
na muna ang sarili nya bago ka nya harapin at tulungan. Pero sana, marealize mo yun pag
nagkaharap na kayo.”

---

5 days later…

They’re now at the airport with medical personnel fixing Mikha up. Situations like Mikha’s
needed special assistance and arrangements since it’s a medical situation and Mikha wasn’t
exactly in the perfect condition to ride the plane like how a normal person would. She’s given
clearance since she’ll be flying for medical transport to Australia.

Aiah, Stacey, and Renzo are again facing each other, with Renzo holding his and Mikha’s
passports and tickets.

It pains them to let go of Mikha like this. The only time they were able to talk was that night
she woke up miraculously. After that, Mikha has been sleeping since.

As much as they don’t want Mikha to go, they know that this is for the best. After that talk
that night, it somehow eased Aiah and Stacey’s minds that Renzo would indeed take care of
the rest.

“Renzo,” Aiah called monotonously.

“Aiah?”

“I have one last request before you leave.”

Renzo looked at her with puzzled eyes but he pushed her to continue. “Of course, ano yun?”

“Please, don’t contact me. ‘Wag mo akong babalitaan anything about her. Just… let me be,
for now, okay? Let me be free from Mikha for now.”

Instead of contradiction, Renzo could only smile bitterly. He didn’t question her any further.

“Sige, naiintindihan ko naman. I’ve been there so I know how it feels.”

“Thank you, Renzo. Best of luck for both of you…”

Stacey can’t help but tear up, “Take care of her for us, kuya Renzo.”

“‘Wag kayong mag-alala, I’ll do my best.” He gave one final look at them, and to Jhoanna
who’s been quietly standing beside them, “We’ll be going now. Thank you so much. Doc
Robles.”

“Take care, Mr. Lim.”

The moment Renzo entered the gates together with Mikha and the medical team, Aiah turned
back and headed toward Jhoanna’s truck without looking back.

Perhaps, this is also some kind of letting go.

 She’s been ready for this ever since the first surgery. She’s prepared herself for this. So now,
she’s doing it.

She’s finally letting go of her for good.

##

Chapter End Notes

Yey Mikha's alive(?) pero at what cost? lol pero ayun, maybe this is the way para maka
move on na talaga si Aiah for good.

And yes, redemption arc ng Kuya ni Mikha kahit pa inaway sya malala ni Aiah dito.

BTW guys, I know I said malapit nang matapos pero baka medyo ma-extend? Got some
great ideas kasi from a reader (u know who u r) kaya I'm thinking of doing something
for the ending kaya baka maextend slight pero I promise it'll be worth it naman. Just
bear with me pls huhu (sisihin nyo si twt user @/*********e charing)

AND ALSO! I'm well aware of what's happening right now sa fandom and I just wanna
say na if things are too much for you right now, it's okay to step away muna. Prioritize
your mental health as well and if seeing those things can be triggering for you, choose to
protect your wellbeing first.

(kaya rin pls pls pls always choose to be kind and ship responsibly, yung wala kang
nasasaktang tao)
 No More Best Friends
Chapter Summary

Throwback chapter.
How did the two best friends settle their feelings for each other?

Chapter Notes

(Medyo throwback muna tayo hehe Jholet layag! HAHAHA)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

NO MORE BEST FRIENDS

2015

A way to her heart is her stomach. That, and EXO.

That much Jhoanna knew. In the many years that she's been friends with Nicole, two things
never failed her when they had any disagreement— food and a weekend of EXO reality
shows.
It also helps that she's quite gifted in the kitchen, which thrilled Nicole by the way.

So now, here she is with her trusty old apron, with her notes scattered all around the kitchen
island while holding a whisk. She's partially covered in flour and it didn't help that she mixed
up some of her notes with different recipes on them.

How do I bake? She asked frustratingly to herself.

One would probably wonder as to why she's all stressed up and stuff. For an exam, maybe?
Or some extra credit assignment, perhaps.

But she's Jhoanna Robles. She never needed some extra credit assignment or never needed to
stress herself about some exam.

So why is she in the middle of the kitchen, frustrated and a mess?

Well, it's for Nicole, of course. She wanted to make something really special for her.
Something she never had in her life. And with her being a foodie, it's extremely hard to think
of something.

It's been a while since she admitted to herself and Jao that she indeed likes her best friend.
But even so, she never said anything to Nicole. Meanwhile, Charice's still at it, confirming if
Nicole does feel the same. So, you can expect her jealousy to soar high every time she sees
Charice and Jhoanna together.

They're not exactly on speaking terms yet. She's as clueless as she could be as to why
Nicole's cold towards her. Only Charice and Sophia would know. Or perhaps, Jao might
know a thing or two.

But even so, she's determined to put that smile back on her face, even if it puts all her
cooking knowledge to the test.
She's supposed to have a study session with her classmates at school but she bailed at the last
minute so she could come home early.

Why, you might ask?

It's a special day tomorrow. And she needed it done today.

She sighs in frustration. She looked at the multiple failed attempts sitting on the countertop.
This isn't like her at all.

She glanced at the clock. She still has three hours until her roommate comes home; four if
Jao is able to convince her to go to the mall.

"Bakit ba hindi ko makuha yung temperature?!" Looking at her attempts, it's either she has
set the oven's temp too high, or too low, or maybe she was over by a few seconds, or she took
it out too early.

Giving up, she took her phone and dialed her senior.

"Hello? Jho? "

"Ate Gweeeen~~" she literally whined, making the other person laugh out loud.

"Ano ba yan, nagpapacute ka na naman. Anong kailangan mo?"

So Jhoanna told her the gist of the story. Why she's baking and what her dilemma is. Little
did she know that Gwen was grinning from ear to ear, also together with Shar, listening
intently.
"Hindi ko alam kung yung oras ba or yung temperature. Na-sstress na ako dito. O baka
naman sira lang ‘tong oven?"

"Wait, bago ka bumili ng bagong oven, ano nga ulit sabi mo yung mga ingredients?" Jhoanna
read it to her one by one and she also told her the procedures.

"Hmmm, I think alam ko na."

Hearing that definitely made Jhoanna sigh in relief.

"Lagay kang tubig sa isang container, yung heat resistant. Tapos, lagay mo sa loob ng oven.
Parang ano, yung pag nag-iinit ka ng pizza sa microwave. Naglalagay ka ng tubig sa loob
para hindi mag dry yung crust. Or if may malaki kang container, pwede mo rin ilagay ung
mismong tray dun sa container na may water."

"Hmm, actually, may sense nga. Oh my god, Ate Gwen, thank you so much!"

Once the conversation was done, she tried one more time, but this time, putting a tray of
water on the lowest level inside the oven. She really hopes this is it.

---

Meanwhile…

“Sigurado ka bang dito mo nakita?" Nicole asked Jao, who's been wandering around the same
store for the nth time.
“Oo girl! Dito yun for sure. ‘Di ko lang sure saan exactly."

With his back turned against his friend, he fetched his phone and hurriedly typed.

[di pa tapos gurl? 1 hr na kami nag iikot.] - Jao

[15 minutes more! Mag-arcade muna kayo or something. Basta ‘wag kayo kakain.] -
Jhoanna

Right on cue, she heard his companion whine. "Jao, nagugutom na ako. Bili tayo kahit—"

"NO!" Jao answered, albeit a little too sudden, which surprised Nicole.

"I-I mean, meron kasing bagong magbubukas na pub and mamaya pa sila mag oopen so
ayoko muna mabusog."

Being clueless as she was, Nicole just nodded.

Of course, they didn't play in the arcade. Jao Canlas would never. But they did manage to end
up inside Chanel's store and Jao might have spent a little.

[Gurl anona? I can't believe napabili ako ng Chanel sunglasses para lang i-delay tong
bff mo.] - Jao

[OMG JAO BAKEEET HAHAHAHA 😂😂

pero yes, tapos na ako and nagseset up
nalang ng table so pwede na kayo umuwi bago mo pa ma-max out card mo.] - Jhoanna
[FINALLY MY GOD! Alright, we'll be going. Good luck!] - Jao

"Nicole?" he called the busy woman looking at the displays.

"Yes?"

"Nagmessage papa ko, may urgent daw sa bahay. So, uwi na ba tayo?"

"Hmm, wala naman na ako bibilhin eh. Tara?"

"Okie girl. Hatid na kita."

A little over fifteen minutes and they're at the last intersection before Nicole and Jhoanna’s
shared apartment. Jao texted Jhoanna quickly telling her they were near. She smiled after
seeing that Jhoanna's ready.

"Sure ka bang papa mo? Or si Taneo talaga yan? Yang ngiti mo na naman, Jao."

Oh Nicole dear, it's your soon-to-be love life.

"Ahh wala. May sinend lang si Taneo na SPG. Anyways, we're here!" he said and indeed,
they're in front of their apartment. And it's smelling very delicious, as far as Jao could tell.

"’Di ko alam kung gutom lang ako o may naaamoy akong mabango."
"See you on Monday, Cole!" he then gave her a small box, "and happy birthday naman sa’yo!
Enjoy your day!"

Nicole can't help but watch her friend drive away with a weird look. Jao seems a little too
energetic today.

Enough about that. She needs to address whatever's bothering her stomach, and that's the
delicious smell invading her nose.

She walked towards their apartment's door and indeed, the smell was getting stronger and
stronger. She can't help but salivate a little. Only just a little.

It's a little dark already, so it came as a surprise to her that when she opened the door, the
place was a bit dark save for a light coming from the dining area.

She knows that her roommate should be home by now, but with whatever she's seeing,
questions start to fill her mind.

"Jho?" she called tentatively. She walked towards the light source and what she saw
definitely surprised her.

In front of her is a table fully set up with champagne, the main course meal, and a candle in
the middle.

On the other side of the table is her best friend hiding behind a bouquet made of EXO’s latest
album, Exodus, and a collection of official photocards. Yep, not flowers, but EXO.

"Huy, ano ‘to?" she asked, amused. Jhoanna's getting embarrassed as the seconds passed.

"I guess advance celebration? Happy birthday, Nicole," Jhoanna smiled shyly as she stretched
her arms to give Nicole the bouquet.
"Niluto mo ‘to… para sa’kin?" she asked, eyes never leaving the food. Just the look of it is
enough to make her stomach growl.

"Yep, sana magustuhan mo. Pambawi ko rin dun sa mga oras na nane-neglect kita. I'm really
sorry kung medyo lutang ako recently. But I really miss you, Nicole."

Of course, who could resist such a sight? All these delicious meals right in front of her. Oh,
and her best friend who’s giving her puppy eyes while holding the EXO bouquet.

“Na-speechless ako, grabe,” indeed, Nicole’s speechless. With how the past days have been
for her, this is the least she’s expected.

“Tara, kain na tayo? For sure, gutom ka na.”

Needless to say, Nicole was treated like royalty throughout. Jhoanna pulled her chair for her
and poured her champagne, she even paid attention to what Nicole usually gets so that next
time, she’d know which is her favorite.

It wasn’t awkward either. They both talk about how their day went by, and even from the past
days that they haven’t really talked. Nicole decided to set aside her frustrations after seeing
Jhoanna’s effort. She knows Jhoanna enough that for her to do something like this, it must’ve
really taken a lot of her effort.

The night continued on with more alcohol after they consumed almost everything. Nicole
almost cried at the dessert since it really hit her taste buds hard. Even while tipsy, she can’t
get over it.

“Grabe Jhooo, ang saraaaap!” Nicole dragged her words while reminiscing about the dessert.
“Buti nagustuhan mo! Original recipe yan! Ginawa ko para sa’yo.” How could Jhoanna
forget the multiple failures she had with that if not for Gwen’s help?

“Grabe naman, Jho. Parang ang ganda ganda ko naman nito.”

“‘Di naman parang lang. Totoo naman kasi.”

They’re now sitting on the couch, with Nicole lying down on Jhoanna’s lap, a little drunk.
She didn’t back down on alcohol earlier, that’s for sure.

“Wala kang lakad bukas, di ‘ba?”

“Hmm, baka umuwi ako ng hapon since nag-aaya si mama mag birthday dinner daw pero
bukod dun, wala naman.” Jhoanna was about to speak but Nicole beat her to it. “Onga pala!
Sama ka raw, sabi ni mama ‘Wag daw ako pumayag na hindi.”

How can she say no, anyway? Of course, what Nicole wants, Jhoanna will grant.

“Sure. Sa’yong sa’yo ako bukas. Pero bago yun, may gusto ka bang puntahan? Samahan kita
bukas. ‘Di ako magrereklamo, promise.”

Nicole thought for a bit. The offer is really tempting. Besides, she really missed spending
time with her best friend so how can she decline the offer?

“Syempre, hindi ko tatanggihan yan! Date day natin bukas. Tayong dalawa lang.”

“Perfect!
The next day, Jhoanna woke up extra early despite a slight hangover from last night. Nicole
was knocked out last night and she’s sure it’ll take a while before she wakes up.

She prepared sandwiches, drinks, and snacks for both of them. She’s still not sure where
they’re going but it’s better safe (from hunger) than sorry, that much she knew. She also has a
feeling that they’ll be out for a while.

It’s a little bit past nine and everything’s prepared. The only thing left is to wake up the
celebrant.

She knocked twice on Nicole’s door. “Cole? Gising ka na?” but she received no response.

“Pasok ba ako? ‘Di naman siguro yun magagalit. Ako naman ‘to.” Without another thought,
she twisted the doorknob, and thankfully, it was open. And there in the middle of a queen-
sized bed is her best friend, still knocked out from last night.

“Cole?” she called softly as she walked closer. “Cole, gising na, birthday girl! May
pupuntahan tayo.”

“Hmmm,” she just hummed but she kept her eyes shut.

“Huy, napag-usapan na natin ‘to kagabi ah. Hindi tayo magiging couch potato for today.
Kaya tumayo ka na dyan ang magprepare. Lagay ko na sa kotse mga dadalhin natin.”

With a little bit more persuasion, she managed to pull Nicole out from her comfy bed and she
entered her bathroom, still half-asleep. Jhoanna then went back to the kitchen to put all the
stuff she prepared in her car.
It took roughly an hour before Nicole was done, with her falling asleep briefly in the shower.
They’re now on the road on the way to their first destination which Nicole chose.

Given that the holiday season is just around the corner, there are already several events and
spectacles happening around. Despite the holiday fever, that didn’t stop people from going
out and enjoying the sites, food, and other things.

“Wow, may ganito pala dito?” Jhoanna said as they ate their tteokbokki.

“Nagtingin tingin ako kung saan magandang pumunta and nakita ko may food fest nearby
so…” Nicole’s voice started to fade, her cheeks getting a bit pinkier than her blush on.
Jhoanna can’t help but chuckle at her best friend.

“Ahhh kaya ka napuyat, no? Nag gawa pa ngang itinerary. ‘Di ka naman halatang excited,
no?” she kept on teasing her best friend. Nicole could only hit her arm.

“Tigilan mo nga ako! Syempre sulitin ko na ‘tong araw na ‘to. Bawal kang magreklamo, di
‘ba? Tsaka baka mamaya, ‘di mo na naman ako pansinin d’yan eh.” Nicole said the last part
softly but it still reached Jhoanna’s hearing.

Jhoanna’s still chuckling but deep inside, it kinda saddened her that her actions did affect her
best friend. She wanted to promise and to make sure to her that they’ll do this again. And
again, and again.

“Eto na nga oh. ‘Di naman nagrereklamo. Tara, may mga booths pa dun sa kabilang side.”

The whole morning was spent with all of their energy. Seeing that more people are arriving at
the place, they decided that it’s enough for now and they’re now headed for lunch.
“May gusto ka bang kainan?” she asked the birthday girl as she drove out of the parking lot.

“Hmmm, may iniisip ako kaso hindi ko alam saan maganda. Parang yung mga picnic picnic
ba, ganun.”

Perfect! Jhoanna thought. She’s kinda thankful that she anticipated this ahead of time and
that she has prepared lunch earlier as well. She had a feeling that Nicole would love to have a
picnic.

A little more than an hour later, they arrived at Camp Morri Farm in Antipolo. Jhoanna
parked her car nearby and they both fetched the food in the car’s trunk. Nicole also insisted
on bringing her guitar just in case they managed to fulfill her lunch idea.

“Ganda ng timing natin. Walang masyadong tao.” Jhoanna looked around and she could only
spot a few families around. They settled in an empty spot, with Nicole putting out their
blanket and Jhoanna preparing their food.

“Pangarap ko kaya ‘tong ganito, yung picnic lang tas nature nature, ganon. At nagulat naman
ako na may pinrepare ka pala talang lunch as if pinlano mo na talaga ‘to,” Nicole asked in
amusement. It’s like, Jhoanna has foreseen this to be this prepared.

“Ang galing lang, ‘Di pa rin ako maka-move on. Gustong-gusto ko pa naman maexperience
yung tumatambay lang sa park, tas manonood lang akong mga tao or tutugtog ng gitara ko.
Galing mo dito, Jho.”

“Hmm, sabihin nalang nating kilala na kita, Nicole.”

Once their stomachs are full, they settle themselves observing the peaceful river in front of
them.
“Nakakarelax pala talagang tumambay na ganito lang, no?”

Jhoanna looked at Nicole and indeed, her face screamed calm and peaceful.

“Nadaanan ko lang ‘to dati nung naggagala-gala ako. Camping site talaga s’ya pero I guess if
bet mo mga ganito, maganda ring tambayan lalo na if ayaw mo sa masyadong matao. Tas
ayun, naisip kita. Alam kong gusto mo ng mga ganitong lugar.”

They stayed quiet for a few moments, with both of them in their own worlds.

Nicole suddenly grabbed her guitar and looked at Jhoanna. “Sabayan mo ako?”

Jhoanna may not say it but she knows she can sing a bit. She’s quite confident with her voice.
Besides, Nicole used to ask her to sing to her whenever they had sleepovers before and it was
raining outside.

“Gladly.”

---

It’s nearing seven and they’ve just entered the village where Nicole’s house is. She promised
her best friend that she’d join dinner since her parents asked for her. Who is she to decline?
“Ma, Pa, dito na kami!” Nicole called out once they entered her house. Jhoanna’s not new
here. She used to spend a lot of time in her house during high school.

“Mga anak! Glad you both made it safe,” Mrs. Vergara approached the two, giving them a
warm hug, with Mrs. Vergara not forgetting to pinch Jhoanna’s cheeks.

“Ganda mo talagang bata, Jhoanna. Parang ang tagal na kita nung huling nakita ah!”

“I missed you too po, tito, tita! Medyo naging hectic lang po sa medschool. Kahit ako, hindi
na rin nakakauwi masyado. Pero buti naman po, okay kayo nina tito.”

“Sana gutom kayo dahil niluto ko mga favorites nyo. Jhoana, hija, okay lang naman sa’yo
dito muna matulog, no? Bukas na kayo umuwi, masyado na kayong gagabihin.”

She just looked at Nicole for a moment, with the latter giving her a grin. “Sure, tita!”

They’re now happily enjoying their food with stories going around here and there.

“So, anak, parang wala akong nababalitaan tungkol sa love life mo. Kwento ka naman dyan.
Okay lang naman sa’min ng papa mo. Hindi dapat puro medschool inaatupag mo. Okay lang
ma-inlove once in a while,” her mother said. Jhoanna giggled a bit before receiving the same
stare from the woman.

“Tatawa-tawa ka dyan. Ganun din ikaw, Jhoanna. As much as it’s great that you’re both on
top of your game, hindi naman pinagbabawalan magmahal, okay? I don’t want you both
growing as old single grumpy ladies. Lalo ka na, Nicole. ‘Wag ka na masyado magtaray.”
The two elders giggled at the sight of the two blushing furiously.
“Ma! Ano… darating din tayo dyan.”

“Hmm, so, may napupusuan na ba ang bunso namin?” they pressed on.

“Ahm… ano…” Nicole didn’t continue further but the hesitance in her voice was enough for
Jhoanna to look at her.

“‘Nak. Okay lang. Kahit sino pa yan, Nicole. Basta mabait at mabuting tao, ayos lang sa’min
ng Mama mo.” Dr. Vergara said as he sips on his wine.

“Ano pong ibig sabihin nyo?”

“Anak,” Mrs. Vergara then held her hand, “unica-hija ka namin, okay? Hindi man halata pero
pinapanood ka naming tumanda. And we know you’re doing great. So, ‘wag kang matakot,
ha? Kung may nagugustuhan ka na, kahit sino pa man yan, basta alam mong makakabuti
kayo sa isa’t-isa, suportado ka namin.”

Jhoanna was surprised when Mrs. Vergara turned her attention to her. “Ganun din sa’yo,
Jhoanna. Alam ko namang ganun din mama mo sa’yo. At bilang parang anak na rin kita, I
want to give you the same advice. ‘Wag nyo masyadong i-deprive ang sarili nyo sumaya, ha?
Hindi masama ang magmahal.” She doesn’t know why but there’s something with Nicole’s
mom’s smile that comforts Jhoanna with whatever she’s feeling right now.

The dinner ended well with the two young ones volunteering to clean the dishes. The two
elders turned in early for the night, joking that they were too old to stay out late.

And of course, what can you expect with these two being in high spirits? Let’s just say that
they both ended up splashing water at each other, but at least no plates were harmed during
the battle.

There’s a guest room and Jhoanna’s free to use it. But like the old times, Nicole asked for her
to sleep in her room instead. It’s been a while since they slept in the same room anyway. In
their apartment, they have their own rooms and they’re too stressed from school to have
“sleepovers”.

“So,” Jhoanna started as they lay down on Nicole’s bed lazily, staring at the huge window
pane showing the night sky, “Yung sinabi ni tita. So may crush ka nga?”

Jhoanna admits she’s curious. Jao won’t say a thing about it, saying “I won’t just spill
Nicole’s secret. Jao Canlas isn’t like that.” So, here she is, dying of curiosity. She’s also
afraid that maybe, her feelings are indeed wasted and it’s only her that’s feeling this way
towards her best friend.

“Naloka ako kay mama. Bihira na nga kami magkita eh. Nagfefacetime nga lang kami eh.
Tsaka parang wala naman ako nababanggit sa kanya.”

“Pero ‘di mo dineny na meron nga?” Jhoanna teased more, turning her body so she lay on her
stomach and could face Nicole.

The girl didn’t disappoint. Her cheeks are burning and all the ways to avoid Jhoanna’s eyes,
she did.

“Okay lang naman daw sabi ni Mama, di ‘ba? ‘Di mo ako kailangan pagalitan.”

It may be sad for her that there’s already someone in Nicole’s heart but hey, she’s still her
best friend so whatever. She’ll be happy for her no matter what.

Jhoanna couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable her best friend is right now. “Baliw. Bakit
kita papagalitan? You’re free to love, okay? Feeling ko talaga magiging mataray na
matandang dalaga ka kung ‘di ka magjojowa.”
“Piskit!” and a pillow landed on Jhoanna’s precious face.

“Joke lang kasi! Pero maiba tayo. Nag-enjoy ka ba today?”

And now, that precious smile Jhoanna loves so much is back on her best friend’s face.

“Oo, sobra. Walang halong biro, Jho. Sobrang saya nitong birthday ko. Salamat, Jhoanna.”

“Pero Cole, seryoso din ako sa sinabi ko kanina. Okay lang naman kahit sinong magustuhan
mo. As long as hindi ka nya sasaktan, okay? Ako mismo magbubukas ng bungo nya pag
sinaktan ka nya.”

Nicole could only shake her head while smiling, “Boang talaga. Pero salamat talaga, Jho.
Sobra.”

It was quiet for a few moments when Jhoanna suddenly remembered something.

“Ay, yung regalo ko nga pala!” She suddenly said as she sprung out of the bed and grabbed
Nicole’s guitar.

“Uhm… so, may sinulat ako para sa’yo…” she shyly said as she held on to the guitar as if her
life depended on it.

“Hala… ginawan mo ako ng kanta?”

“Alam ko naman, wala akong binatbat sa’yo. Baka nga corny pa ‘tong gawa ko pero bakit ba.
Ikaw lang naman makakarinig eh. So, here it goes.”
She started strumming, with her soft voice blending with the rhythm of the guitar. Nicole
could only watch with a smile on her face.

Is it the most breathtaking lyrics she’s heard? Definitely not.

But it definitely hit her heart. It felt really personal for her, that she felt all the time and effort
Jhoanna spent on the song. She felt that it was solely written for her. She felt really connected
with the writer. She felt Jhoanna’s heart.

As Jhoanna hit the last chord, she opened her eyes and was surprised to see Nicole tearing up.

“Oka- Hala gagi ba’t ka naiyak?!!” she asked frantically as she reached for some tissues.
Nicole gladly accepted them, blowing her nose even.

“A-ayos lang ak-ko. Ano lang… Wow… Jho, grabe.”

“So, like it?” Jhoanna shyly asked.

“Like? I absolutely love it! Never ko yang kakalimutan, hanggang sa hukay ko man.”

Now it’s Jhoanna’s turn to shed a tear. She’s not gonna lie. It’s one of the things that stressed
her out the past few days. She wanted it to be special, yet subtle in case Nicole felt otherwise.
And seeing Nicole right now, she’s really glad that it paid off.

As they lay down side by side, with secret smiles on their faces, they both felt at peace beside
each other. Thinking that Nicole’s already asleep, Jhoanna spoke again sleepily.

“I’m always here for you, Cole. I’ll stick with you forever and a lifetime,” she said softly, but
all her emotions are carried with those sentences. She just hoped that she’d be able to send
the message across to her best friend, even in her sleep.
Jhoanna’s breath has slowed down to a steady beat with soft snores, indicating that she’s
fallen asleep. That’s when Nicole opened her eyes and looked at her best friend beside her.

“Ikaw yun, Jho. Buhat simula, ikaw lang.”

---

The morning came and a figure emerged from the stairs. The older woman from the kitchen
was surprised at the sudden presence.

“Oh my! Nagulat naman ako sa’yo, Jhoanna,” Mrs. Vergara jokingly pinched her arm.

“Sorry na, tita. Kala ko po, wala pang tao.”

“Oh, don’t mind me. Gusto ko lang pinagluluto si Cole ng almusal pag umuuwi s’ya. Eh
ikaw? Bakit ata ang aga mo magising?”

“Hmm, force of habit na rin siguro. Ako rin po kasi laging nagluluto ng breakfast sa
apartment.”

Mrs. Vergara smiled at the thought.

They ended up cooking together for all of them. Of course, Mrs. Vergara was grateful.
“‘Nak?” she called her softly.

“Yes po, tita?”

“Please, pwede mo rin akong tawaging Mama . Para na rin kitang anak so I wouldn’t mind.”

Jhoanna was hesitant at first but she complied anyway. She’s always fond of the woman
anyway.

“Sure po, ti-Mama. Ano pong meron pala?”

“Hmm, nung sinabi kong sinusubaybayan ko paglaki ng anak ko, I’m serious about that. So I
know what goes on that pretty head of hers.”

“Oh… So may idea po kayo sino yung iniisip nya?”

Mrs. Vergara smiled at her. “Hindi man kami nagkikita in person madalas pero nagfefacetime
kami nyan. Makwento yan sa’kin. Daming kinekwento.”

“Buti naman kung ganon! Nag-alala ako kasi hindi kami okay netong recently. Pero buti,
nakakausap pa po kayo ni Cole.”

“That reminds me. Nakwento nga ni Cole yun. Mind telling me why?”

Jhoanna froze for a moment. How can she even tell her that it’s because of her daughter?

“Jhoanna, anak, I know things. No need to be afraid to speak your mind and heart.”
Comforted by her words, Jhoanna decided that perhaps, it was all alright to tell it to the
woman who brought Nicole to the world.

“Ma? ‘Di ka naman magagalit, di ‘ba? ‘Di mo naman ako papalayasin bigla ngayon, di ‘ba?”

“Silly, bakit naman? Unless intention mong saktan ang anak ko, ay, ibang usapan na yun. Si
Niko na siguro ang bahala sa’yo pag ganun.”

Okay, that brought chills down to Jhoanna’s spine.

“Alright. Here it goes,” she breathes in deeply before letting her heart open, “ano po kasi…
Recently, palaging nasa isip ko si Nicole.” Jhoanna looked at the elder, checking her reaction
but she remained with the same expression.

“Hmm, go on…”

“Well, nung mga times na hindi kami nag-uusap, yun yung time na nalilito na rin ako sa sarili
ko. Hindi ko po sure kung tunay ba yung nararamdaman ko, or baka in denial lang ako.”

“Bakit ka naman magiging in denial?”

“Kasi, hindi po ako sure kung ganun ba dapat yung mararamdaman ko para sa kanya. I mean,
sobrang tagal na namin mag best friends kaya dumating ako sa point na nalito na ako kung
friendship pa rin ba itong nafefeel ko, or higit pa.” Mrs. Vergara nodded slowly. Despite the
fear Jhoanna’s feeling, she continued on. No backing out, I guess.

“Kaya ayun, tinry ko iignore yung kung ano mang nararamdaman ko. Kaso, hindi rin
maganda naging result. Kailangan ko pa kumausap ng ilang tao para lang maconfirm na totoo
nga ang nararamdaman ko.
“So, na-figure out mo na ba?” Mrs. Vergara asked.

“I did naman po. Alam ko nang hindi ako dapat matakot. Kaya po I’m trying to win her, even
little by little. Kahit hindi ko sigurado kung anong nararamdaman nya para sa’kin.”

“Hmm, wala kang idea kung sinong nagugustuhan nya?” Mrs. Vergara asked, slightly
stopping herself from giggling.

“Wala po talaga, as in. Akala ko talaga, si Maloi. Pero hindi sya eh. Kaya ngayon, wala na
ako maisip pa. Basta ang alam ko po, may someone.”

Mrs. Vergara can’t help but shake her head sideways. “And here I thought kaming matatanda
ang mabagal…”

“Huh?” of course, Jhoanna’s lost as to what she means by that.

“Just go for it, ‘nak.”

“Ano po?”

“Trust me. Bilang nanay ni Nicole, sinasabi ko sa’yong magtiwala ka sa puso mo at sundin
mo ‘to. Nakita ng sarili kong mga mata kung paano mo alagaan ang anak ko kaya panatag
ang loob kong nasa mabuti s’yang kamay.”

Jhoanna was confused and hesitant at first but with the motherly smile she gave her, it’s
enough to give her the courage to finally follow her heart.
---

“Parang panay ang ngiti mo mula nang umalis tayo sa bahay ah,” Nicole can’t help but notice
the smile on her best friend’s face.

“Wala lang, ganda ng araw, no?”

“Hmm, suspicious mo, Jho. Onga pala. Nagkakwentuhan kayo ni mama kanina?”

That question froze Jhoanna up. Did she hear anything?

“Narinig mo kami?”

“‘Di naman. Maaga ka rin kasi lagi gumigisin eh so inassume kong magkasama kayo
kaninang umaga.”

“Ah oo. Tinulungan ko si tita magluto breakfast.”

“Naku, e di tuwang tuwa si mama? Miss na miss ka nun pag usapang kusina. Wala akong
masyadong silbi sa kusina eh kaya natutuwa yun pag napunta ka sa bahay. May nakakasama
na s’ya sa kusina.”

“Ganun na nga…”

They spent the next moments in silence. The weather’s great today and Jhoanna still doesn’t
want to go home. So instead of going straight to their apartment, she turned right and then
drove by the side of an open park until they found a quiet spot.
“‘Di naman ako nagrereklamo pero anong ginagawa natin dito?”

Is this the right time? Isn’t it too early? Jhoanna has a lot of things inside her mind right now.
It was kind of an impulse when she turned her steering wheel earlier. It’s just that she
suddenly wanted to have this moment.

The wind is calm today. It’s not too sunny nor too cloudy. It’s just cold enough to still be
comfortable. It’s the perfect weather for her.

“Nicole…” Jhoanna called softly. She still has no idea how to start.

“Hmm?”

Jhoanna started sweating. Her hands are so sweaty that she has to wipe them on her pants.
She’s never been this nervous, not even when she has to give her valedictorian speech during
her college graduation. Not even when she took her med school entrance exam. And the fact
that the person who usually calms her down is the one causing her nervous breakdown.

“Uh… ano kasi…”

Nicole just sat there, staring at her. She doesn’t really know what to expect.

“Ano kasi yun, Jho? Para kang mahihimatay dyan.”

Here goes nothing.

“D-do you like someone?”

Nicole was kinda surprised, that’s for sure.

“Seryoso bang tinatanong mo ulit yan sa’kin?”

“Just answer, please.”

She observed her best friend and she’s definitely serious. She’s gripping hard on the steering
wheel. Her head’s down, afraid to make any eye contact with her.

She’s still thinking of what transpired this morning. She can remember her mom and Jhoanna
exchanging looks and then looking at her as if she didn’t notice them. She then remembered
last night, when Jhoanna sang the song she wrote for her. The meaning of the song, and of
course, how could she forget those words that the younger had said to her before they slept?
And with how Jhoanna’s persistent in asking who she likes. Right, and the way Jao’s giddy
before they went home that evening of her birthday. She put two and two together only to be
hit by the realization.

Oh…

OH….

“Hmm, actually, tama naman. May nagugustuhan ako,” she said truthfully.

And of course, Jhoanna being Jhoanna, her grip on the steering wheel tightened, with her face
looking down more and more.

“Kaso, ang slow at manhid nung taong yun eh.”

“Oh… ganun ba? Ang malas naman,” Jhoanna said solemnly.

Should I end her suffering? Nicole thought.

“Sayang nga eh. Ang alam ko pa naman, sobrang talino ng taong ‘to. Kala ko, mafifigure out
nya, kaso mukhang hindi.”

“Hm?” Jhoanna looked at her with curious, yet pained eyes. Now she’s curious as to who this
person really is.

“I mean, maniniwala ka bang nagbigay pa ‘to ng valedictory speech nung college kami? At
kung ‘di ako nagkakamali, naka full scholar pa yun dahil dean’s lister. Husay, no?”

“Oo… ang galing nga,” every sentence made Jhoanna think. Whoever that is, I’m sure they’ll
do great.

A few minutes had passed and no words were exchanged, it was until Nicole let out a
frustrated sigh, catching her best friend’s attention.

“Piskit naman, Jhoanna! Ikaw yon! Ikaw yung sinasabi ko! Ikaw yung valedictorian nung
college tayo. Ikaw yung dean’s lister na sinasabi ko. Ikaw lahat yon, piskit ka!”

If someone told her that Nicole will be the one to confess first, she’d probably laugh at how
stupidly impossible that sounds.

But here she is, with her mouth agape, looking at her best friend with eyes wide.

“Ako?”

“Hayup na confession ‘to, bakit nauwi sa ganito.”

“Ako? As in, Jhoanna Christine Robles, ako?”

“Alam mo, isang tanong pa, tatamaan ka na talaga sa’kin.”

“Cole…”

She’s out of words. All those words she practiced on telling her feelings are all thrown out of
the window. Nicole beat her to it.

“At oo, aaminin ko. Bwisit na bwisit ako kada nakikita ko yung fangirl mo na yun na kasama
mo. Nung una, sa’yo ako naiinis eh, hanggang sa nainis na rin ako sa sarili ko kasi bakit ako
naiinis sa’yo, diba? Nakakainis pero wala naman akong magawa. Kaya sorry na rin siguro
kasi minsan, sa’yo ko nalalabas yung inis ko. Tsaka okay lang naman kung nagdedate na
kayo nun. Sorry kung nalito ka pa sa’kin. Nakakabwisit lang talaga na-”

Her words were cut out after she felt a sudden hug from her best friend.

“Jho?” she called but instead of words, she was answered with soft sobs from the latter.

“Shet, sorry! Sorry kung sobrang slow ko.”

Nicole was about to speak but Jhoanna hugged her tighter.

“Natakot ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman mo sa’kin at ayokong masira tong
pagkakaibigan natin kaya sobrang takot ako umamin sa’yo. Kung hindi pa ako kinausap ni
Jao, hindi ako matatapos sa in denial stage ko. Tsaka hindi kami ni Charice. Girlfriend na nun
si Sophia and oh my god, secret lang dapat yun kaya please ‘wag ka maingay sa ibang tao
lalo na sa mga kabatch natin. I’m reall-”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence when Nicole forcibly held Jhoanna by her shoulders so
they could be face to face. And before she could even ask, soft lips landed on hers,
 completely immobilizing her on the spot.

Who would’ve ever thought that Nicole would do the first move in this relationship? Neither
of them definitely did. Jhoanna’s pretty sure Nicole’s mom would laugh at her.

“Ha! Naunahan ka ng anak ko! Bagal mo kasi eh,” yep, she could hear her voice already.

After those few seconds that felt like a lifetime for the both of them, Nicole let her go and
looked her in the eyes.

“Sige na. Para hindi ka na kabahan dyan. Ako na gagawa. So, can I be your girlfriend,
Jhoanna Christine Robles?”

##

Chapter End Notes

Light chapter lang muna eto.

Sensya na ulit guys for the long absence huhu daming nangyari irl 'di ako nakakeep up
masyado sa sarili kong buhay.
Jhoaiah pa rin 'tong story na 'to pero aminin, cute ng Jholet hehe

(please, healthy shipping lang po tayo for funsies, ganon. 'Wag kayo mag-aaway away
plss)
 To Leave my Memories Behind
Chapter Summary

Throwback chapter.
A Side Story about Nicole’s departure and Colet’s beginning

Chapter Notes

A lot of you have been asking kung anong nangyari kay Colet, kung bakit s'ya nagka-
amnesia. Eto na ang (mahabang) sagot
[TW] mention of blood, accident, drugs, self-harm, death

(also, double update today in case you missed Chapter 23)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

TO LEAVE MY MEMORIES BEHIND

(events took place during med school graduation [The story Jhoanna told Aiah at Chapter
17])

2018

She’s looking outside the window, observing the different cloud formations surrounding
them. Her moist eyes reflect the golden arms of the sun reaching out everywhere.
She blinks once, twice, until a lone tear escapes her eyes. She has already run out of them
earlier on the way to the airport. All the rage and outbursts in her body have been exhausted
earlier.

“We’re really sorry na nagkaganito ang mga pangyayari,” the woman beside her said
solemnly. She can see the regret on her face but what can she do? They’re already miles
above the ground.

“Eh ‘di sana, sinabi nyo na sa’kin ang totoo dati pa man.”

“I know. We were wrong on that part.”

She didn’t speak more. Instead, she brought her attention back to the window, watching how
day meets the night.

It’s been a few hours since they left. Five hours since she left UST’s campus. Five hours
since she last looked into her eyes.

She doesn’t know the whole story. All she knows is that her father had some dispute with
some Philippine government official, and the next thing she knew, they were rushing to fly
out of the country. Her father has arranged the flight prior without her knowledge. Her mom
only told her about it on the morning of their graduation day, which also happens to be their
departure date.

Even with all the questions inside her head, the only thing her mom told her that day was to
not tell anyone where they’d be going. Well, she couldn’t anyway, since she only knew their
destination when they reached the airport and her mom handed her the plane ticket and
passport.
“Ha? Bakit tayo pupuntang Singapore? Hindi ko naman inexpect na talagang lalabas ng
bansa pala?”

“Please, Nicolette. We’ll explain everything pagdating natin. Pero sa ngayon, kailangan na
natin mag board. They’ll close the gates in fifteen minutes.”

“Ma naman!”

“Please…” She wanted to ask more questions. But the look on her mother’s face stopped her
from asking further.

“Pangako mo, Ma, sasabihin mo sa’kin nangyayari pagdating natin.”

“Yes, I promise that, dear. I’m so sorry.”

“Si Jho…” she said softly.

“Alam kong masakit ‘to para sa inyong dalawa. Pero hindi muna kayo pwedeng mag-usap.
Kailangan mo i-cut muna connections mo sa lahat ng tao sa Pinas. Until your father fixes
this mess.”

“Bakit? Bakit pati si Jho? Alam nyo namang mapapagkatiwalaan yun.”

“This is for her protection also. Pag nalaman nilang may contact si Jhoanna sa’tin, pwede
s'yang madamay dito. Kaya please, hanggang sa maayos ‘to. Please endure muna? Promise
ko sa’yo ‘nak, pag naging okay, ako mismo ang sasama sa’yo pauwing Pinas. Kakausapin ko
si Jhoanna.”
She could only sigh. It’s not like she has any choice at the moment. They all left their phones
back in Manila. And she’s already on the plane at the moment.

“Asan na si Pa?”

Her father booked a different flight from them. For safety purposes, he said.

“May connecting flight pa s'ya kaya mauuna tayo dun. Humiwalay muna s’ya sa’tin para
masundan man s’ya, hindi tayo damay.”

“Ano ba kasing ginawa ni Pa? Bakit kailangan nating magtago?”

Her mom looked at her with tight lips. “Later. I promise I’ll explain.”

---

And soon enough, that later came, with them entering what seemed to be like a beachside
suburb.

“Welcome to Sentosa, Ma’am,” the driver mentioned.

“We’ll live here?” Nicole asked.

“Yes, ma’am. Dr. Vergara has instructed me to drive you directly to the place you’ll be
staying. He also said that you wait for him before you leave the house. Everything has been
prepared here so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Okay, Craig. Thank you for that.”

“It’s always a pleasure, Ma’am. Dr. Vergara has been very kind to me so I owe him a lot.”

They arrived at a modern-looking house with outer gates. The car then entered the said gates
and stopped in front of the door.

“We’re here, ma’am. Let me assist you with your things.”

Nicole, throughout the ride, was silent. She’s still confused about what’s happening. And it’s
still sinking into her that they are in Singapore right now.

She’s at least relieved that they’re staying in a good place. She’d heard of Sentosa before and
heard lots of good things about the suburban part of the town.

“Before I leave, Dr. Vergara asked me to give these to you,” he then reached for a paper bag
to give to Mrs. Vergara.

“Okay, thanks, Craig.”

“No problem, Mrs. Vergara. I’ll take my leave now.”

Craig went back to his car and drove away, leaving the mother and daughter duo on their
own.

“Ano yan?” Nicole asked, pointing at the paper bag.

Mrs. Vergara opened it and what greeted them were two phones and a note.

[You’ll use these from now on. I’ll call you at this number once I arrive in Singapore. - Niko]

Holding her new phone, Nicole felt the weight of it. She felt the weight of trying to live a
new life here in Singapore.

She knows no one here. No friends, classmates, and most of all, no Jhoanna. She only has her
parents this time.

Speaking of parents, they owe her an explanation as to why she’s running away for her life at
the age of twenty-four.

“Ma,” she said as she fiddled with her new phone. Contacts only contain her mom and dad’s
number, “Can you explain now? And please, yung katotohanan sana.”

Mrs. Vergara could only sigh. She doesn’t have any choice, anyway. Besides, they have
nothing to do at the moment. Niko would probably arrive a few hours from now.

“Alright. Upo muna tayo.”

They made themselves comfortable on the lone couch in the living room. Mrs. Vergara is
only staring blankly at the TV in front of them.

“Mga around last month… kilala mo si Mr. Francis Chan?”

Nicole racked her brains searching for the name. “DOH secretary?” Her mom nodded.

“Anong meron sa kanya?”

“Ano kasi…” her mother tried to explain, “He isn’t a good man, to put it simply. Binantaan
nya papa mo dahil sa isang disagreement. Edwin Yang, big boss ng isang ilegal na
corporation, gusto nyang si papa mo ang gumawa ng operations sa mga illegal immigrants
outside the hospital’s knowledge, yung walang dokumento o papeles. Of course, your papa
didn’t agree.”

“Kala ko, pwede naman sa Pinas mag operate sa mga illegal immigrants?” she asked. The last
time she checked, illegal immigrants are allowed to receive operations given that they’ll pay
from their own pockets.

“That is kung dadaan sila sa proper process in a legit hospital. And if legit na operation talaga
ang gagawin. Pero sa case na ‘to, it’s an underground operation. We’re talking about human
trafficking here. I’m sure you’ve heard of Edwin Yang. Notorious sa black market for selling
human organs. Unfortunately, may connection s’ya kay Francis Chan. Old friends siguro? Or
malaking pera involved. Kaya kahit ayaw talaga ng papa mo, nagfabricate ng pekeng
ebidensya si Francis Chan para ma-revoke license nya.”

“Ang gago naman non? Binlackmail si papa?!” It scares Nicole if her dad did so. First,
they’re dealing with underground operations and black markets, not to mention the illegal
selling of human organs. She doesn’t want her dad to be involved in something that sinister.
His dad has already built his name in the medical industry and is known for his kindness and
knowledge.

Mrs. Vergara smiled a bit, “Syempre, hindi. Mabuting tao ang papa mo at may prinsipyo yan.
Kaso, dun na nagkaproblema.”
“Kung si Francis Chan, lisensya lang ang binantaan sa papa mo, si Edwin Yang, may ibang
plano.”

Nicole was quick to figure out the rest. Putting two and two together, she can only think of a
reason why they’re running away.

“Let me guess,” she stated, “binantaan nya ang buhay ng pamilya natin.”

Mrs. Vergara could only nod solemnly. This earned an empty laugh from Nicole.

Never had she thought that the stuff she only saw in movies and dramas was actually
happening in her life right now.

Imagine, a twenty-four-year-old doctor-in-the-making, now running away from her country

because of death threats from an underground organization. Yep, she’s finding this all too
funny. Painfully funny.

“So, walang nakakaalam kung nasan tayo?” she asked her mom.

“Wala. Your dad made sure of that. Thankfully, he knows some people na makakatulong
sa’tin. Kaya hindi ko rin sinabi agad sa’yo not until the last minute. Ayokong may madamay
pa sa mga kaibigan mo. Lalo na si Jhoanna,” she paused for a bit, looking at her daughter’s
eyes, “panigurado, susundan ka nun pag nalaman nya kung nasaan tayo ngayon. Sobrang
delikado para sa kanya.”

Now, she understands. She isn’t that shallow to throw tantrums here and there. So even if it’s
painful for her and it’s something against her wishes, she just accepts it. But it still pains her
that she didn’t even have a chance to talk to her girlfriend, her first love, her Jhoanna.
“Hindi manlang ako nakapagpaalam sa kanya…” she whispered softly, but her mom caught
on.

“Yung pangako ko sa’yo, tutuparin ko yun. Ginagawa namin ang lahat para mapakulong si
Edwin Chan. Pag ayos na ang lahat, sasamahan kita para magpaliwanag kay Jhoanna. Uuwi
tayo sa Pinas agad agad. Alam mo namang napamahal na rin ako sa batang yun. Masakit din
para sa akin ang makita kayong nasa ganitong sitwasyon.”

Even with threatening tears in her eyes, Nicole managed to give a smile to her mom,
enclosing her in a tight hug. Right now, she only has her parents. And she needed to be strong
for herself.

Several hours have passed and it’s already dark outside. Mrs. Vergara is busy cooking a
simple meal for three in the kitchen. Nicole, on the other hand, has been lounging in the
living room, flipping from one channel to another to look for something to entertain her.
There was no wifi at the moment, for their safety as well.

The quietness of the night was broken when a loud ring erupted, coming from Mrs. Vergara’s
new phone.

“Ma, si Papa!” she said and Mrs. Vergara rushed to her phone.

“Hello? Niko?” She asked in a rushed voice. It’s been hours since she last heard of her
husband so she’s worried as hell.
“Mahal, are you both alright? How’s Nicole?”

“Ayos naman kami dito. Nakapag settle na rin. Hindi pa kami lumalabas ng bahay since
dalhin kami ni Craig dito. Where are you right now?”

“Nasa Changi na ako. Inaantay ko lang luggage ko. I’m meeting Craig in a few. I’m sorry for
taking a while. ‘Wag kang mag-alala. I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright. Ingat ka, mahal.”

Once the call had ended, Mrs. Vergara stared at her phone for a moment, before looking at
her daughter with a relieved smile.

“Andito na s’ya sa bansa. Magkakasama-sama na ulit tayo.”

It didn’t take long before they heard a car outside. Andito na si papa, Nicole thought.

Right on cue, someone opened the front door, and appeared her dad in flesh and unscathed.

“Pa!” she immediately ran to hug the old man. Dr. Vergara returned the gesture.

“Mahal! Thank goodness you arrived safely.” Mrs. Vergara gave both of them a hug.

“I’m glad that you’re both safe. Natanong ko naman na kayo kay Craig kanina but seeing you
two hits differently.”
Once they let go of the hug, Mrs. Vergara held his hand. “Mahal, I already told Nicolette
what happened.”

He then looked at his daughter with surprised eyes. He doesn’t know how his daughter would
take it.

“Napaliwanag na ni Ma. ‘Wag ka na mag-alala, Pa. Naiintindihan ko namang may mga bagay
kang kailangan gawin para sa’min.”

Dr. Vergara could only smile warmly. He’s proud that Nicole grew up with an open mind and
a wide understanding of things.

“Pasensya na kung natagalan ako. There was a situation earlier. Binalaan ako ni kumpare na
nakasunod sa’kin grupo ni Yang kaya kinailangan ko lumipat ng flight to Taiwan the last
minute. Nagkadelay lang yung Taiwan to Singapore kaya natagalan ako.”

Nicole knew that they were dealing with something huge but she didn’t expect that it’ll be
this bad. To the point that he was followed to the airport. She’s now thankful that his dad had
foreseen this and put them on a separate flight from him.

“Okay lang, pa. Ang mahalaga, kumpleto na tayo dito.”

---
Nicole had to admit, it was quite difficult adjusting to a completely different country. She’s at
least thankful that her English didn’t fail her.

Her dad was offered a job in a good hospital here. As for her, she was able to continue her
internship in the same hospital, but she had to deal with the cultural differences and the
differences in the environment.

Coincidentally, the hospital she’s in right now is a partner of her previous school, UST. So
that helped her in her application. Coming from a reputable school does have its advantages.

Even in a new environment, Nicole is still focused on her goal– to be a great neurosurgeon.
It’s a lot of pressure for her, knowing that her father has a high position in the neurology
department, and she’s now training there. The last thing she wants is to let her father down.

Once working hours are done, another thing that keeps her busy is Jhoanna. Thinking about
Jhoanna. What is she doing right now? Is she mad at her? When will she be able to see her
again? A lot of questions linger in her mind.

In truth, she memorized Jhoanna’s contacts. In fact, she could call her anytime she wants. But
of course, it’s for their safety– both hers and Jhoanna’s. She doesn’t wanna risk that.

She doesn’t really know how long it’ll be like this. Will it take a year? Five years? Ten years?
She can’t tell. So now, she’s torn whether she’ll keep Jhoanna in her heart or at least try to
move on. Who knows? They might not meet again, ever. She doesn’t wanna live the rest of
her life clinging onto something that’s not within her grasp. But she also doesn’t wanna
imagine life without that bright smile she loves over the years.

Well, having friends won’t hurt, right?

---
And that’s where she met Heeseung, a Korean street photographer who also fancies nature
photography and monochromatic photography.

“You should really avoid trees next time, Seung. This is, what, your third time being
hospitalized? And now you finally broke your leg.” Nicole could only roll her eyes. It’s also
funny that every time Heeseung has an accident, it’s always Nicole who’s on duty in the ER.

“Wow, you said it as if you’re waiting for my leg to break, Dr. Vergara,” Heeseung laughed
sarcastically.

“You had two leg sprains within one and a half months. You’re bound to break a leg anytime
soon, and I didn’t mean the ‘good luck’ kind of breaking legs.”

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry, okay? You probably won’t see me here anytime soon here in the ER
since I won’t be able to go to the mountains anyway with my leg broken.”

“Good for you, then.”

As soon as Nicole turned around to leave, Heeseung mumbled to himself. “Hmp, meanie.”

Nicole suppressed a laugh on her way out. “Parang bata talaga.”

Later that afternoon, Nicole returned with a copy of Heeseung’s X-ray in her hands.
He observed her carefully. “Looks like it doesn’t look too good, huh? Based on your
expressions. You’ve been shaking your head for a minute already.”

“Well, your muscle’s swelling and we are having some nerve problems so I don’t really think
it looks good,” Nicole said with a straight face.

“Woah, that bad?”

“How did you fall from the tree again?”

“About five meters high, I think? My safety rope broke. It was slippery that time so my shoes
slipped after falling.”

Nicole sighs. She can imagine. “Hmm, you might have twisted your legs in the process,
hence the nerve damage and muscle tear. This is gonna take a while.”

Heeseung only pouted. “Aw, man.”

“That, plus your past sprains might have affected you. You should really cut down on your
being “adventurous” sometimes. Try something that makes you stay put in one place. I don’t
know, maybe in a studio?”

“Fine. I’ll try studio photography next time.”

Nicole smiled. “You’re obedient. That’s good. Now,” she then opened a monitor which
showed the X-ray results. “Look here. It might take several months before you can walk with
your legs normally. You can use crutches but if it’s still too painful, you’ll have to stick with
wheelchairs in the meantime. Just be glad that you didn’t break your arm. At least, you can
still hold your camera normally.”

“Do I need to attend therapies and stuff?” Heeseung asked.

“Glad you asked.” She retrieved her pen and notepad she’d been clutching, “If things look
good after two weeks, you can start the therapy after that. I’ll recommend you a PT that I
think will best work with you.”

“Okay, Doc. Thanks.”

“I shall take my leave now.”

Nicole was about to walk out of the door when she heard something rumble from behind,
which caused her to look back at the man and raise her right brow.

Heeseung could only grin.

“Sorry. Hungry. Haven’t eaten since this morning.”

Nicole had to roll her eyes for the nth time, but smiled secretly, nonetheless.

“Baliw talaga.” Nicole mumbled in Filipino before leaving the room completely.

Of course, she didn’t forget to send some food to the poor guy.

---
“Where are you taking me again?” Nicole asked as she watched the buildings and trees they
passed by. They’re driving to who-knows-where– well, Heeseung knows– and Nicole’s
becoming frustrated, her anger mode being activated.

“We’re almost there, so chill your arse, okay? God, I thought doctors need to have patience
but you only seem to have patients.”

Nicole could only hit his arms for his failed humor.

“I swear to God, Heeseung. I’ll break your other leg one day.”

The two became closer as time went by, with Heeseung finding teasing the doctor
entertaining. As for Nicole, it’s nice to have a friend from the local. Despite them being
different nationalities, they hit it off somehow. She never really mingled with her colleagues
enough to be friends with them. But apparently, this guy’s hit-or-miss humor allured her,
somehow. She’s also intrigued every time he tells stories about his travels, showing her
pictures that he captured, which lowkey amazes her. She’s also amazed at how seriously he
took his therapies to the point that he doesn’t need crutches but of course, he still can’t do
strenuous activities like before.

“And we’re here!” Heeseung screamed as he parked his car in front of a two-story building,
which made her jolt in surprise.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see.”
They went out of the car, with Heeseung fetching his camera bag and luggage in the trunk.
Nicole still has no idea where they are.

“Relax. We’re still in Singapore if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ve been meaning to show
you this ever since I recovered from my broken leg so I’m actually excited to show you.
Also, I need you to do something for me.

“If this is something stupid, I swear, Heeseung Lee–”

“Don’t worry! I still love my other leg so no, I won’t do something stupid.”

They entered the building but instead of going up, they went downstairs to the 1st level
basement. Nicole observed the hallway and saw a sign with a camera icon on it. Is this what
she thinks it is?

“Ta-da!” Heeseung said as he opened the glass door and what greeted Nicole was a wide
space with several lighting equipment, backdrops, and several monitors.

“I said before that I’ll try studio photography since nature photography isn’t really safe for
me. So here I am, trying to start anew. I haven’t really gotten the whole know-how of a studio
since I’m a street photographer but I’ll survive. I’ve been taking different online courses for
studio photography for some time.”

Nicole just stood there, looking around. She can’t believe that Heeseung actually listened to
her advice way back before. And this place looks a bit pricey given the building’s modern
exterior and the fresh look of the place.

“I know this is not too much. The building owner’s a good friend of mine so he rented it to
me at a huge discount. And this time, I hope to push it not just a hobby but something I can
make money off of.”

Nicole’s still speechless. Her happy-go-lucky friend is really being serious this time.
“And now that you’re here and it’s your day off, can you help me practice? Or maybe build a
portfolio?”

“What am I supposed to do? Do I carry the lights or something?” it was a dumb question that
Heeseung couldn’t help but crack up.

“No, dummy. You’ll be my model. Do you know how to pose?”

“What the fuck, Heeseung. Are you being serious?” Nicole finds this honestly hilarious. The
last time she checked, she opened human bodies with scalpels, not pose in front of a camera.

“Hey, I can see your photos from your private IG dump. And I think you can do it. Besides,
it’s just me.” Heeseung gave her an assuring smile. A smile that made her think ‘Hm, maybe
there’s no harm doing it.’

She rolled her eyes jokingly, “You owe me dinner. And don’t blame me if you don’t get
clients.”

“Yes!” Heeseung jumped in joy for making Nicole agree, which made her burst out of
laughter.

“You look stupid.”

“At least you agreed! Now, stand there in front. I’ll set my camera up.”

Needless to say, they spent the entire day in the studio, ordering take-outs instead of going
out. Nicole never thought that she’d have fun with this. Heeseung’s not new to photography
but he’s not used to the studio setup so they had to do some trial and error to get it right. But
it didn’t bother her. Heeseung’s a great guide and director so it was easy for her to pose.
Besides, they’re aiming for a carefree theme so that added to the fun.

“Let’s check the photos.”

They looked at the monitor, with Heeseung scrolling through the series of photos they had
taken earlier.

“Hm, not bad for a first-time model, Cole. I think you got it in you.”

Nicole smiled as she skimmed through the photos. She gotta agree. She looks decent enough.

“Hm, not bad for a first-time studio photographer, Seung. I think you got it in you,” she
mimicked his words which made them both laugh.

“Now you’re mocking me.”

“But it’s true,” she then looked at him with a smile, “I think you’ll do great if you push
through. These are great, and I’m not even being sarcastic here.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.”

“Let’s publish my portfolio, then!”

They spent the rest of the afternoon fixing his online portfolio. Nicole helped him with words
and introduction while Heeseung fixed everything design and aesthetics.
The mouse is now hovering over the “Publish” button, with Heeseung still hesitating.

“You think people will like it?”

She hit his shoulders lightly. “You think too much. We’ll never know if you don’t publish it.”

“Hm, you’re right. Oh, fuck it. I’ll just click it with closed eyes.” And that, he did. He
covered his eyes with one hand and clicked on the mouse with the other.

“Done! And now, we can leave this stuffy place and breathe some fresh air. I know a good
taco place if you’re up for that.”

They drove for about twenty minutes from the studio in silence, with Nicole appreciating the
scenery around them.

“Have you been to Holland Piazza?” he asked out of the blue.

“Is that in Singapore?” she asked. Nicole hasn’t really had the chance to roam around.

“Yeah, just a little bit past Queenstown.”

“Oh… but no, I haven’t been there.”

“Well, have you ever gone outside Sentosa at this point?

Nicole could only pout because Heeseung’s telling the truth. And it’s quite embarrassing for
her.

“Fine, no. I haven’t even gone around Sentosa that much. I’m all hospital-house kind of girl.”

“Wow, so boring.”

“Hey!”

They arrived at this place called Chimichanga. It’s a bit late so there aren’t too many
customers at this time.

They went inside and settled themselves at a corner table.

“I’ll order. Just wait there.”

Nicole observed the place. This is definitely different from when she was in the Philippines.
Even the length of daytime and nighttime differs, which she had difficulty adjusting during
her first month here. Also, almost everyone around her speaks English. She’s only able to
speak Filipino at home with her parents.

She then looked at the guy waiting in line. She never really thought she’d become friends
with anyone easily, given that she’s an introvert and she can’t deny that there’s a different
treatment for Filipinos here. But Heeseung’s not like that. Also, he’s fun to be with, cheerful,
and carefree.
But no, she doesn’t see him like that. Because she’s pretty much sure that her heart still
belongs to a certain five-foot-six Filipina doctor who goes by the name of Jhoanna Robles.

Heeseung approached their table with a tray at hand, “Here’s our food!”

As they were eating, Nicole noticed that Heeseung had been looking at her from time to time.

“What?” she asked as she munched on her nachos.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, Cole.”

“What is it?”

Heeseung wiped his mouth before speaking. “You never really told me why you’re here. I
mean, in Singapore. Why did you leave the Philippines?”

Right, in their one year of friendship, she never really told him, or anyone for that matter,
why she was here. No one bothered to ask, but maybe Heeseung just didn't wanna overstep
something so he only asked now.

“It’s quite a complicated story that you’d probably only see in movies but something
happened back in the PH with my dad and some trash official so we had to leave,” Nicole
said, a little sad now that she remembers what happened back then.

“I literally just graduated med school that day when we left. That, and I have to leave my
girlfriend behind without a clue. I still haven’t talked to her ‘til this day.”
With the last statement, Heeseung almost spat his drink, comprehending her words. “What?
Girlfriend?!”

“What? Are you disgusted or something?” she asked defensively. The last thing she wants is
to be judged by her preferences.

“No, stupid. I was just surprised. I didn’t expect that from you since you never talked about
that, but it’s cool. I don’t really care about one’s preference as long as you’re a good person.”

“You sure?” she looked at him skeptically.

“Of course! I know basic human decency, and respect is one of them. It’s totally cool, I
promise.”

Seeing the honesty in his eyes, Nicole smiled deep inside, but she liked to mess around with
him a little more.

“Hm, I thought you were upset because you can’t ask me out now that you know I’m gay.”

“What?!” he released a laugh that made other customers look at them. She had to kick him in
the shin to calm him down.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He wiped the tears that formed in his eyes, “Don’t take me wrong. It’s just... dating you feels
like I’m dating my sister. That shit’s weird.”

Now, Nicole can’t help but laugh as well. Indeed, this thing between them felt more like a
sibling type of friendship. So even for her, even if she’s straight, she can’t imagine dating
him. It felt like incest of some sort.
“Glad we agreed on that part. Cheers?”

“Cheers!”

---

It didn’t take long before Heeseung’s name made rounds in their place. His portfolio was
praised by his friends and peers, and with word of mouth, it reached a lot of places. He also
added his street and nature photographs and given that they’re his specialty, many are amazed
at his works.

It’s a weekend and the two agreed to meet up, with Heeseung insisting that they meet asap.

“Okay, what is it that we need to meet up so early?” Nicole said as she entered his car.

“I wanted to celebrate.”

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

Instead of words, Heeseung gave her his phone, with one email opened. She read it out loud.

“Good day, Mr. Heeseung Lee. I have seen your portfolio and I am impressed with your
work. If you’re interested, would you like to…” she continued reading the email, with every
word making Heeseung smile more and more.

“Shut up!” Nicole couldn’t contain her excitement. She’s not that familiar with names in the
field of arts and media but knowing that someone is interested in Heeseung’s talents makes
her ecstatic.

“Hey, that’s real! And if you’re wondering. That exhibit gathers thousands of audience yearly
during its 3-day show. So I’m actually surprised that Mr. Thompson reached out to me. I’ve
gone to his exhibits before and all the talents he curates are amazing.”

“Indeed, we need to celebrate this. To the taco place!” Nicole cheered happily, making
Heeseung chuckle.

“You really love that place, huh?”

“Dude, I’ve never eaten a great taco in my life before that! Not even in the Philippines. So
yes, we’re going back to Holland Village.”

---

Roughly two years have passed and now, Heeseung’s creating a buzz in the photography
world. But now, the more projects he receives, the less time he and Nicole spend. But of
course, being an understanding friend, it’s completely alright with her. She’s more than happy
that Heeseung’s achieving his goals.
“Kinda hot today, huh?” Amy, another resident assigned together with Nicole, said.

“Is this supposed to be the last month of summer here?”

“Yeah. Should be autumn soon.” Amy checks her calendar and her eyes widen, “Oh! It’s your
birthday today! Happy birthday, Nicole.”

“Thanks, Amy. I almost forgot about it,” both of them chucked.

“Why? We should celebrate. Or do you have plans tonight?”

Nicole could only laugh, “As much as I want to celebrate, being assigned to the ER kinda
sucks. I’m at least thankful that we haven’t gotten any massive emergency today. That’s the
last thing that I want to happen.”

“Yeah, you deserve some rest on your special day. Yesterday was exhausting. I almost
became a patient after.”

Their conversation was interrupted by her phone ringtone. She immediately answered it to
avoid further disturbance in the place.

“Hello?”

“Anger! Happy birthday!”

“Thank you, Heeseung! I seriously thought you forgot about it!”

“Silly. Of course, I won’t forget about your special day. It’s the day I can tease you for getting
older.”

“You’re such a meanie! It’s been a peaceful two weeks without your presence and here you
are, teasing me on my special day. Such a friend you are.”

“Drop that pout of yours. I know you’re doing it right now,” and indeed, she is pouting.
“Anyways, are you busy this afternoon?”

“My shift ends at five but I have family dinner with my parents at around eight. Why’d you
ask?”

“Great! I’ll go there later. Let’s meet up. I got something for you.”

“Huh? Aren’t you in Kuala Lumpur right now? That’s like five hours away from here.”

“That’s nothing. Besides, I asked for a day off ‘til tomorrow before I return the next day. So
you can’t decline on me now. I’m actually on my way.”

“What the?!”

She only heard laughter from the other line.

“Gotta go. I’ll see you later, Cole. Bye!”

Before she could answer back, the call had already ended. She could only stare at her phone.

"Ooh, looks like someone has plans later," Amy teased.

"Yeah, my friend's asking to meet up. Can't really decline since he drove all the way here
from Kuala Lumpur."

"Aw, such effort. Well, let's just pray that we won't have any emergencies today so you could
end your shift on the dot."

"We can only hope."

---

3:53 PM. Roughly an hour away from the end of her shift. Everything has been quiet so far,
and she hopes it’ll be for the next hour so she can celebrate her birthday peacefully.

“Looks like a quiet day for us,” Amy said.

“Don’t jinx it. The last thing I want is a last-minute multiple-car collision.” Amy could only
laugh.

“Right, right. Is your friend here already?”

Nicole checked her phone but there were no new messages. She just shrugged her shoulders.

“Hm, he’s still probably driving. I told him not to text while driving.”
“I’m curious, Nicole,” Amy started, “are you two going out?”

It took Nicole some effort not to burst out laughing. This brought back their conversation in
Chimichanga about this topic.

“Jesus, no! We’re like siblings so it’ll be weird to date him.” Amy was about to speak when
Nicole beat her to it.

“Besides,” she chuckled, “I have a girlfriend back in the Philippines.”

“Girlfriend?!” Amy asked with wide eyes. She never really expected Nicole to swing that
way. Guess you should never really assume by what you see.

“Yes, I have a girlfriend, or… at least I had,” this made her mouth turn upside down.
Remembering that it’s been more than a year since they last talked pains her.

“Oh my, did I step on a sensitive topic? I’m really sorry.”

“No, no. It’s just… it’s been two years since I last talked to her.”

“You mean since you left the Philippines? You never talked, not even once?” she only shook
her head.

“Wow, I can’t imagine how you can take that.”

Nicole just sighs, “Well, circumstances call for it. I don’t even know when I will have a
chance to talk to her again.”
“Yeah, it’s hard when fate wants to play with us. It’s like, we aren’t given any choice.”

“Right…” She felt somber for a moment. She’s coping, alright, but that’s thanks to Heeseung
and her mom, mostly. Her dad’s a pretty busy man and the only time they actually talk is
when it’s about work.

“Hey, it’s your birthday, Cole! At least smile. Your friend might think I’m treating you badly
if he sees you like that.”

Nicole at least managed to laugh this time. “Silly! But thank you, anyway.”

She checked the clock again and there were only thirty minutes until the end of shift.

“Can thirty minutes fly by? I can’t wait to celebrate the day I’m getting older.”

“I don’t know if you like your birthday or not.”

“Well, I don’t like the getting old part. But I like the celebration.”

“Touché.”

Both ladies were laughing heartily when they suddenly heard an ambulance– a sound that
definitely meant–

“Code Blue! Vehicle collision!” The guy from the rescue team shouted as he opened the door
for the stretcher to be carried inside.

Being the ER doctors for today, Nicole immediately approached them, with Amy behind her.
“What happened?”

“A truck lost its break and drove past the red light. It T-boned a car crossing the intersection.
Both drivers are in a fatal condition.”

She then looked around, “Where’s the other driver?”

Another ambulance arrived. Soon, paramedics wheeled in another stretcher, with the victim
looking much worse than the first one.

As soon as she approached the other stretcher, she felt like everything slowed down.

“What the…”

This can’t be… No no no!

Is this how you’re gonna greet me on my birthday?

“Doctor Vergara, you handle this patient, I’ll handle the first one,” Amy said and even before
Nicole could react, the other doctor had already gone to the other patient.

She calmed herself for a bit.

This is an emergency, Nicole. And you need to act fast to save him.

“Get some blood bags! He’s Type O!”

Everything happened so fast that night. The next thing she knew, they were in an operating
room with several neurosurgeons and cardiologists beside her. Heeseung’s injuries are so
severe that he barely survived the crash. Two things that are giving them a hard time right
now– a broken rib punctured his heart and a huge piece of glass stuck on his skull.

Nicole wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. But right now, she’s conditioned to treat him
like how she would with any patient. Emotions can wait.

“According to the scans, he has bilateral multiple rib fractures, depressed deformity, and flail
chest on the front side parasternal region of the left hemithorax. Broken rib ends detached
from the sternum and went to the heart.”

“He also suffered myocardial ruptures which is extremely fatal at this point.”

"Right side of his skull has been crushed and a piece of the broken window pushed right in."

“Okay,” the head surgeon said, “let’s proceed.”

No one might have said it verbally but everyone in the room is anxious. Heeseung arrived
barely hanging onto his life. It’s truly a miracle how he was still breathing when the
ambulance arrived at the hospital.

Two hours had passed. They had just removed the piece of rib stuck into his heart. The
neurosurgeons managed to remove the shard of glass stuck in his head. They’re now stitching
the ruptures close when suddenly, the machines start beeping rapidly. Everyone can see the
abnormally fast movement of his heart.
For some reason, Nicole suddenly felt her whole body get cold. Her body’s moving on its
own but her mind is already somewhere else.

She can see the frantic movements of the team. She can hear the panicked instructions of the
head neurosurgeon. Apparently, something happened in the brain area that shouldn’t. As
much as the neurosurgeons tried to control the hemorrhage, all efforts were futile. But she
doesn’t see that. All Nicole could see was red, spilling right in front of her. Her once blue
gloves were now covered in red. She could only look into the head neurosurgeon’s fear-
stricken eyes. His eyes are filled with guilt, but she doesn’t see that. She’s too distracted by
the constant noise ringing inside her ears. She can see the lines in the ECG monitor slowly
flatlining.

Asystole.

The ringing echoes louder and louder inside her head until it becomes a steady tone.

The sound of death.

They tried to revive once, twice, but to no avail.

Everyone has stopped moving at this point. Everyone’s looking at the patient lying in the
middle of the room.

Everyone’s now looking at the body of the deceased Heeseung Lee.

Nicole’s deceased best friend.

“Time of death. 7:46 PM. September 14, 2020”

---

Water splashes carelessly on her clothes as she washes her face. Everything feels surreal for
her.

Pwede na ba akong magising sa bangungot na ito?

She looked at her reflection. All she can see is a doctor that failed her best friend.

Every time she looks at her hands, flashes of bloody gloved hands appear before her. Her
own hands with the blood of her best friend.

“Ahhh!”

She fell to the ground still clutching her head.

“Fuck! Tama na!”

She kept her eyes tightly closed, afraid that anytime she opened them, she would Heeseung's
body again.

A knock came from the door which temporarily distracted her.

“Anak? Anong nangyayari? Ayos ka lang?”

“I-I’m okay, Ma. Sorry.”

“Alright. Baba ka na after mo. Dinner’s ready.”

“Okay.”

Once she heard the footsteps fade away, she stood back up again, now trying to avoid her
reflection.

---

She took a leave the following days. Amy was worried for her after seeing her state the day
after the operation. She didn’t know what happened except for the fact that the patient from
the second ambulance died– the patient that was handled by Nicole.

She’s been with the doctor for about a year now but this is the first time she saw Nicole this
affected. But then she realized, this was the first time Nicole’s patient died.

Meanwhile, Nicole’s all cooped up inside her room, sitting on her bed. Even her mother’s
efforts were futile because Nicole refused to go out.

“‘Nak? Kagabi ka pang hindi kumakain. Nag-aalala na ako sa’yo,” but her mom’s voice
didn’t reach her.
After a lot of tries, the elder woman just gave out a sigh and left her spot in front of Nicole’s
room.

That same afternoon, she approached her door again, this time with a plate at hand.

“Nicolette, anak, I’ll leave some food sa may lamesa mo. I understand kung ayaw mo
munang may kausap. Pero at least, don’t starve yourself. We’re really worried about you.”

No response. But Mrs. Vergara didn’t wait. She just left the plate on her desk and left silently.

To say that Mrs. Vergara was relieved is an understatement. She’s practically tearing up after
seeing the plate in front of her daughter’s door eaten in half. It’s not much but at least, she
knows that her daughter’s eating somehow.

At least she’s eating, is what she thought.

It has become their arrangement for the following days. She’s at least happy that Nicole never
skipped the meal she gave her. She knows that one way her daughter copes is through food.
Dr. Vergara had to fix a few things at the hospital due to her daughter’s absence. Words are
traveling around and that’s the last thing he wanted to happen. Also, there are things about
that particular operation that have surfaced that need to be investigated.

She never left her room for a week. No one knows what’s going on with her. Not even her
parents whom she refused to talk to. She refused to speak to anyone. She turned her phone off
and disconnected her telephone, internet, and everything that could be a way to communicate
with her. She isolated herself from the world.
As usual, Mrs. Vergara left Nicole’s food in front of her door. She doesn't expect much. She
knows that her daughter needs all the space for now. She isn’t open to listening to other
people. So she let her be.

This will be the last night, she thought. I’ll try talking to her tomorrow again.

And then tomorrow came. Mrs. Vergara has already planned her words inside her head. She
even made Nicole’s favorite dish.

But the moment she saw her plate from last night untouched, she felt her heart beat faster.
Her hands turned cold all of a sudden.

Carefully, she knocked, once, twice. But no response. Of course, it has been like that.

But today feels different.

So once she placed the plate down, she called her husband.

“Nicolette? Anak?” Dr. Niko Vergara called.

“Can we talk? It’s been more than a week. Nag-aalala na kami sa’yo. You didn’t eat last
night.”

Still, no response.

Mrs. Vergara looked at him, “Tingin mo, kunin ko na susi? I don’t feel good about this.”

“I…” he gave out a sigh, “I’ll get the keys. Dyan ka lang.”
Mrs. Vergara waited anxiously. It felt like forever until Dr. Vergara returned.

He knocked twice. “‘Nak, we’re gonna open the door, okay? Pasensya na pero nag-aalala
talaga kami sa’yo.”

He then inserted the keys inside the keyhole and turned it. The door unlocked but as soon as
he tried to open it, it didn’t open fully.

“Damn, the chain lock,” he cursed softly after seeing a stretched chain holding the door
closed.

She was about to walk back when he tried to peek inside.

And what he saw terrified him.

---

“Everyone out of the way!” the paramedic screamed as they pushed Nicole’s stretcher. One
paramedic was holding a resuscitator against her mouth while rushing towards the emergency
room. Dr. Vergara and Mrs. Vergara are just behind the paramedics.

Everyone in the emergency room was surprised. No one had heard from Nicole since her
leave and now, here she was, being wheeled in. Amy couldn’t control her surprise. She’s been
trying to call her colleague but it’s always unattended.
The parents aren’t left with anything but to wait in the waiting area. It has been an hour and
they haven’t heard anything from them.

After a few moments, a doctor went out of the emergency room and walked in Dr. Vergara’s
direction.

“How is she, Dr. Wong?” His voice was cracking.

“Good news, we managed to stabilize her. It’s quite fortunate that you found her just in time;
or else, she might not make it. But…”

“Tell me, Dr. Wong.” Dr. Vergara said firmly, but Mrs. Vergara could feel the tight hold of his
hand on hers.

“She suffered from Cerebral Hypoxia. Based on your story, you found her already
unconscious in her room, so no one could tell when she started losing oxygen in her brain.
That resulted in her being unconscious. We suspect that it’s caused by extremely low blood
pressure or a possible respiratory depression. We also found traces of Diazepam in her
system. She could’ve tried to overdose herself with these sleeping pills.”

Mrs. Vergara was out of words, she never thought her daughter would reach this point. If only
they had decided to talk to her earlier than planned, they could’ve prevented this, she thought.

“How bad is it?”

“She’s still unconscious as of now. We don’t know when she’ll wake up but her oxygen level
and blood pressure are back to normal.”
“Thank you so much, Dr. Wong. Can we see her now?”

“Of course, Dr. Vergara. I’ll lead the way.”

---

It’s been a week since Nicole was brought to the emergency room. It’s also been a week since
Dr. Veragar’s busy with what’s going on in the Neuro department. Everything has been
stressful for them.

They found out that there had been some mishap during Heeseung Lee’s operation.
Something went wrong with the brain operation which caused one of his blood vessels to
rupture and cause a hemorrhage. In turn, he fell into cardiac arrest. And the head
neurosurgeon in charge during that time has already submitted his resignation a week ago.
They can’t trace where he is, which only brings them to the conclusion that the surgeon knew
what had happened. It was also suspicious that the other surgeons involved had also
submitted for immediate resignation after the operation.

To say he was furious was an understatement. He almost trashed his office upon learning
what really happened. First, it was his team that made the mistake. The Neuro department is
now in hot waters, but the hospital is doing its best so that it won't spread outside with the
media.

Lastly, it’s because of his team. It’s because of his people, that his daughter right now is in
this hospital, currently unconscious. He just learned that the man they operated on is a close
friend of her only daughter and that Nicole was part of the team that operated on her.

Still, with heavy breaths, he went to the office of the director.

*knock knock*

“Come in!”

He then proceeded inside the director’s office with a heavy heart and his head down.

“Dr. Niko, I heard the news about Dr. Nicole, I’m so sorry about that,” the director spoke
with sympathy. But Niko could only nod.

“Is there anything I can help you with? We’ve already ordered that we won’t allow the media
to enter the hospital. Don’t hesitate to tell me if you need any–”

“I need a break.”

“What?”

Still with his head down, he repeated, “I need a break.”

“O-oh, of course. How many days do you need?”

“I’ll take an indefinite leave.” He answered again. The director didn’t respond immediately.

A few seconds of silence passed by before the director spoke.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I need a breather from this place. I need to leave for a moment.”

“Where do you plan to go?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere far from here.”

“But your daughte–”

This agitated Niko. It’s been eating him inside. “Do you think I can face Nicole after what
happened? That’s my team! My people! They messed up someone’s life! Do you understand
how heavy it is for me? I felt like I killed her friend even if I wasn’t there. I…” he tried to
calm down, “I can’t face her like this.”

“I watched the recording. She was there. My daughter was inside that operating room. I saw
everything my team did wrong, and she wasn’t even a part of that mishap. But I also saw how
she looked at her blood-covered hands. I saw the fear in her eyes. She probably blamed
herself for what happened. She thought that he died in her hands. Do you understand how
heavy that is?!”

The director was left speechless. He knew about the investigation and what happened. He’s
well aware of the fact that the Neurology department is facing criticisms and scrutiny right
now and with Niko being the head of the department, he’s heavily burdened by it.

“Okay,” he simply answered.

“Okay?” he simply nodded.

“I’ll contact MMC if they can send a team of neurosurgeons. Given that you came from
there, I trust that they have great surgeons there. I also heard that they just accepted a new
batch of residents this year so I’m hopeful that they have enough staff with them that they can
send some here.”
This somehow lifted Niko’s spirits. Of course, MMC. It’s where he came from anyway. It
was his pride and joy. So he’s quite confident that they can send a team competent enough to
run the department here.

“Thank you so much, Director.”

He could only give a sad smile. “I don’t know what you’re planning, Niko, but I hope you
won’t have regrets in the end.”

“I hope so, too, Director.”

---

It’s the seventh day since Nicole’s confinement in the hospital. But right now, only Mrs.
Vergara is beside her, no one else.

Flashback:
“Can you take care of Nicole from now on?” Niko asked with his eyes trembling while
looking at his wife.

“Anong ibig mong sabihin? Saan ka pupunta?”

“I…” Niko suddenly felt something blocking his throat. It’s hard now that he’s facing his
love, his wife. And to tell her that he’s leaving them for a moment is another challenge for
him.

“Aalis ako.”

“Ha? Bakit? Tungkol ba ‘to sa issue ng Neurology Department? Tinanggal ka ba nila?” she
asked worriedly.

“N-no. I asked for this. I need to take a breather.”

“Pero paano si Nicole? Paano pag nagising s’ya?”

Niko could only hold onto his wife’s arms. He squinted his eyes so tight that tears started
forming on the corners.

“Mahal, sa tinging mo, paano ko s’ya haharapin ngayon? Wala akong mukhang maihaharap
sa kanya nung nalaman ko ang nangyari.”

A lone tear escaped her eyes. “Kailan ka aalis?”

“Soon.”

“At kailan mo planong bumalik?”

He didn’t answer. He can’t answer. Because he doesn’t have the answer.

“Take care of her, please. Babalik din ako. Hindi ko alam kung kailan, pero babalik ako.”

“Eto ba talaga ang gusto mo?”

Instead of an answer, he just gave his wife a tight hug, translating all his feelings into that
gesture. He feels a lot of emotions right now— Guilt, pain, burden, anger, disappointment.

“Can I at least contact you?” she asked, now with tears flowing from her eyes.

“I’ll call you. Okay? Pag nagising si Nicole at nagtanong, tell her I’ll explain everything
once I return.”

She could only nod.

End of flashback

She was combing her daughter’s hair with her hands when she saw her eyelids twitch.

“Hmmm,” it was a low hum but she heard it perfectly.

Nicole’s waking up.

"Anak? Teka! I'll call the doctor."

She was about to leave the room when she heard the younger one speak.

"Nasan ako?" She asked as she looked around. Confusion was written all over her face.

"We're in a hospital, ‘nak. Seven days na tayo dito."

She then looked at Mrs. Vergara, still with the same, clueless eyes.

"Sino po kayo?"

---

"Dissociative fugue," was what the doctor told Mrs. Vergara after Nicole went through some
tests. She's back to bed, sleeping.

"What does that mean, Doc?"

“After several tests, it seems like she’s been through a lot of mental stress recently. She also
experienced cerebral hypoxia. Also, our brains have this ability to block unwanted memories;
painful ones, trauma, and scarring memories. But in her case, it’s quite severe to the point
that she’s completely forgotten her own identity.”

“What should we do now, Doc?”

“I highly suggest that you keep her away from things that might trigger her trauma in the
meantime. In her case, it might be the death of her patient. So anything that could remind her
of being a doctor might trigger her.”

Mrs. Vergara thinks hard. This could only mean that she has to keep her daughter away from
her profession. This also means that she can’t see his father yet.

“I understand, Doc. Thank you so much.”

---

Mrs. Vergara is back in Nicole’s room. She’s been asleep the whole day after several tests. As
much as Mrs. Vergara wanted to sleep even for a bit, she didn’t wanna miss the moment her
daughter woke up.

She looks around, but nothing particular in her mind except for how they’ll move forward.
She’s already informed her husband of Nicole’s condition and he understood it immediately.
He decided that it was best if he stayed away for now. Mrs. Vergara can’t argue anymore. He
should know better than her, anyway.

Now, back to where she is, she laid her eyes on her sleeping daughter. She can’t fathom how
they’ll move forward. They’re practically starting from scratch at this point. Again. Even her
name, she doesn’t know.

But will a new identity do good for her? She wonders.

Nicole's friend, Amy, brought some flowers earlier; some of Nicole's favorites. She's still in
shock with what happened with her friend but she doesn't want to be a bother so she only
visits occasionally. Mrs. Vergara also told her the situation and her being a doctor might
actually trigger Nicole.

While the elder lady was quietly observing the said plant, she heard low moans from the lone
patient.

"’Nak?" She tentatively called.

Slowly, Nicole's eyes opened. She's still weak from lying down for a week so Mrs. Vergara
had to help her sit up.

"Are you alright? May masakit ba?"

Nicole only looked at her, still with the same puzzled look.

"Sino po kayo?"

"’Nak, ako ang nanay mo. Andito na ako simula nung naconfine ka."

She then looked around, noting that she was, indeed, in a hospital.

"Then, sino ako?"

Mrs. Vergara’s hands turned cold. She knew it would come to this. And this is the only
chance she can change something.

She paused for a while, racking her brains for an answer until her eyes laid upon a lone vase
sitting by the window.

She then smiled in a motherly way, tucking her daughter's loose hair strands behind her ear.

"Your name is Colette. You're Colette Vergara."

---

Some weeks later

"Ma! Ba’t kailangan natin iwan mga gamit natin sa Singapore?" Colette asked as they walked
along the large walkways of Island City Mall.

"Hmm, wala rin naman tayong masyadong gamit dun tsaka syempre, update update din sa
fashion. Tagal na nung last tayong nagshopping."

"Hmm, fair point."

As they entered a clothes boutique, they were immediately greeted by the store manager.

"Hello po! Welcome to Guess. Can I help you with anything?"

Instead of sticking around, Colette left her mother's side, who's talking with the manager, and
roamed around herself. She casually looked at the price tags and her eyes bulged at the
numbers written.

"Oh, I think bagay na bagay sa’yo ‘to, ma’am! You have very nice proportions," the store
manager who popped up from nowhere said.

"Ay, nagtitingin-tingin lang po ako, pero thank you for the compliment, ma'am."

"Model po ba kayo by any chance?"

"Ay, hindi naman po. Actually, magchecheck pa lang ako ng mga available jobs dito sa
Pinas."

The store manager just nodded. "Hm, alam mo ma’am, if interested ka lang naman, you could
work part-time as a model. May mga kakilala ako sa industry."

Truth be told, Colette is getting hesitant and overwhelmed. It hasn't really crossed her mind
about looking for a job since it's barely a week since they've been here. She's still getting
used to the environment and not to mention, basically everything around her. At least, she
didn't forget how normal humans function.

"Ahh, ano po kasi—"

"Dyan ka pala, anak! I see that Ms. Gonzales here found you already. Pinagkekwentuhan ka
lang namin."

She looked at her mom quizzically, "Ako?"

"Yep. I heard that she has actual connections at kung gusto mo, she can help you try out sa
modeling."

She can only look at the two women in front of her.

"’Di ko sure, Ma. I don't think bagay ako magmodel—"

"Either way, I'll give you my contacts and my friend's calling card. Isa s’yang photographer
for a magazine. Malay mo naman, maisipan mong i-grab yung chance, di ‘ba?"

She could only grab the cards and nod. She hasn't even processed the whole thing yet.

Once out of the store, she stopped her mom from walking.

"Ma, binenta mo ba ako dun sa babae?"

"Ano? Don't be ridiculous, dear. She actually complimented you earlier kaya nakipag
kwentuhan ako. Hindi ko naman inexpect na tatanungin ka nya mismo. I think she took a
liking on you."

"Pero… modeling? Never pa naman ako nag model. Well, wala rin naman talaga ako idea
kung anong ginagawa ko dati pero gets nyo ba?"

Mrs. Vergara was about to retaliate but held her tongue.

Of course, she knew of her daughter's mini photoshoots back in Singapore. Heeseung would
always give her printed copies of Colette’s, or rather Nicole's photos whenever they had a
shoot. And Mrs. Vergara can see the enjoyment in her daughter's eyes.

It's risky of course. Aside from being a doctor, this holds something from the past that might
haunt her. So she thought twice about it.

"Hm, pwede pa naman tayo magtingin tingin ng mga job openings. Magaling kang kumanta,
di ‘ba? Pwede ka mag perform, mga ganun. Tutulungan naman kita sa kung anong mapili
mo."

“Hmm, bahala na siguro.”

---

Needless to say, Colette spent the rest of the month roaming around the place. She doesn’t
really ask her mom but she’s kinda curious how they could afford living comfortably so far.
They never talked about it, or rather, her mom doesn’t talk about it. She has so many
questions lingering inside her head. But with the help of self-exploration, and a little bit of
Google search, she realized that perhaps she went through something traumatic, hence, her
amnesia.

She decided by then that she wouldn’t dig further. She’s afraid to open old wounds that might
endanger her. She can also remember the pain on her mom’s face whenever she tries to ask
something related to her past.
As she was strolling through a bookstore, she saw a magazine stand with the latest issues of
Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Allure, and a lot more. She was so engrossed that she didn’t realize
that she’d been staring at them for a whole ten minutes.

She suddenly remembered the calling card tucked safely inside her wallet.

Right then and there, she grabbed her phone and punched in the number written on those
cards.

“Hello? Alice Forteza speaking.”

Alice Forteza- the photographer friend the store manager mentioned before. She wonders
now if the manager has told her anything about this.

“Ah, yes. Hello? This is Colette Vergara po. You see, Ms. Go–”

“Colette Vergara? Oh! Ikaw yung na-mention ng friend ko from Guess! Wow. Actually
inaantay ko tawag mo nung nakwento ka ni Paula sa’kin. I was curious about you.”

This definitely surprised Colette. “You are?”

“Well, ganito kasi yan. Yung friend ko na ‘yun, may mata talaga s’ya sa mga ganitong bagay.
Kaya minsan, sa kanya ako nagtatanong if may mga kilala s’yang potential models. And I
guess you have caught her attention. Lagi ka nyang bukambibig. So yeah, I’m curious.”

“Hala, talaga po ba?“

“If you want, drop by ka sa studio ko any time. Nakasulat naman sa card yung address ko,
kung binigyan ka nga ni Paula ng card ko.”
“Ay, okay lang po ba?”

“Of course! I’m the one inviting you. So I hope you accept my invitation.”

Colette smiled. Her eyes wandered back to the magazine displays.

“Sure. Visit po ako soon.”

---

Soon enough, Colette has found her new passion. Thanks to Alice Forteza’s persuasion, she
has agreed to start her portfolio as a model. Mrs. Vergara was initially afraid; scared that
memories from the past might come back. But after witnessing Colette’s first shoot with
Alice, she saw the spark in her eyes that she had longed to see.

“Hmm, I think may kulang eh.”

Alice and Colette are in the process of building her modeling portfolio. However, upon
looking at her profile, Alice isn’t quite satisfied.

“Oh, mag reshoot ba ulit tayo?”

“No, no. The photos are great. Yung sa profile mo lang, we gotta work on that.”
Alice kept silent for a few more minutes, with her eyes focused on her “profile” page.

“Have you ever thought of using a stage name?”

Colette looked at her quizzically. “Stage name? Ano yun?”

“Yung name na gagamitin mo for public like sa mga ads, magazines, media, pero not your
actual government name.”

“Ohhh…” Colette nodded at Alice’s explanation.

“No offense, girl, but Colette seems a bit…"

"Too ‘good girl’"? Colette continued.

"’Di ko mapaliwagan pero yeah, that's one way to put it."

Suddenly, she snapped her fingers, which surprised the photographer.

"How about Cole?"

"Oohhh pwede pero onti pa!"

Alice began editing the header, changing it to ‘Cole’.

"Wait, what if Colet nalang? I mean Colette pa rin naman pero less letters as in C-O-L-E-T
lang. Simpler pero ikaw pa rin naman s'ya. Mas tumatatak kesa Colette."
 Colette smiled after hearing it. She never thought of it that way.

"Yun! Sige, pwede pwede."

Both women smiled upon seeing the updated site.

"Colet it is!"

##

Chapter End Notes

This chapter sums up what happened to Colet/Nicole's past.

Chronologically, what happened is: (para sa mga curious haha)
Chapt 15 > Chapt 16 > Chapt 23 > Chapt 24

this will be the last of the throwback chapters and the rest of the update ay magfofocus
na sa present (events after Chapter 22)

(Sorry din pala for the unreplied CCs and comments huhu medyo 'di kagandahan
headspace ko recently huhu mas reachable ako sa X)
 To Heal a Broken Soul
Chapter Summary

Things weren't easy for all of them after the Lim siblings left, especially for Aiah.
How would the doctor handle things?

Chapter Notes

This chapter happens right after Chapter 22. We're back in the present.
Also, looong chapter ahead (pambawi lol)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

TO HEAL A BROKEN SOUL

Back to the present...

It’s been a few weeks since the Lim siblings left for Australia and only Jhoanna knows what’s
been happening to Mikha. As promised, she never mentioned anything to Aiah nor told her
whenever she got updates. And despite counting weeks, Aiah’s been the same since. She
isolates herself as much as she can, and even Stacey sometimes can’t contact her.

“Gusto mo bang kumain muna?” Jhoanna asked as they drove through the buzzing city
traffic. They have just dropped off Stacey in her apartment after the doctor fetched the two
from their office. Jhoanna insisted on driving and fetching Aiah to and from work since she
believed the woman was not yet in the right state of mind to drive on her own after that one
time she almost hit a lamppost.
“Not really hungry,” was the only response Aiah gave her. This had gotten Jhoanna
concerned since she knew that the girl hadn’t had any meals since that morning.

“Hmm, gusto mo bang lumabas muna? Not exactly eat pero para magpahangin lang, ganun.”

Aiah thinks for a while before letting a soft hum, which Jhoanna took as a yes. This will be
the first time since that day that Aiah agreed to go out and get some fresh air.

“Saan mo gusto pala?”

“Take me anywhere. I don't really care.”

With that said, Jhoanna suddenly had a place in mind. It'll be quite a long drive but she hopes
it'll be worth it.

A little less than two hours later, they arrived at an overlooking park somewhere in Rizal.
Aiah fell asleep along the way and was only woken up by Jhoanna once she stopped the
engines.

“Aiah, we're here na.”

“Huh? San na tayo?”

“Somewhere in Rizal. This is a little secluded so walang masyadong tao dito. You can take a
breather for as long as you like.”

“Rizal? I didn't notice. Ang layo na pala ng na-drive mo.”

“Nakatulog ka kanina. ‘Di na rin kita ginising since alam kong pagod ka rin. Nag drive-thru
na rin pala ako in case magutom ka.”

Aiah might not say it out loud but she really appreciates these gestures of Jhoanna.

“Uhm, gusto mo bang mapag-isa muna or ano… balik na muna ako sa kotse if you want?”

“Hey, it's okay. Samahan mo ako?”

With that, the two went to the nearby benches which are situated perfectly for a nice sunset
view, which is about thirty minutes away.

Aiah sat down and let herself sink into the bench, with her eyes closed and just letting the
golden rays touch her skin.

Jhoanna couldn't help but look at her when she released a deep sigh after staying silent for a
few minutes.

“Ang unfair ng mundo, no?”

“Hmm?” Jhoanna just let her continue.

“Just when I thought there was a chance that we'd get Mikha back, she's again taken away
from us. It's like, we're really not meant to be together, even physically.”

Jhoanna realized the situation Aiah's in. Things could've ended up in two routes. One is the
route they're currently at, where Mikha’s gonna be treated in Australia, or two, where Mikha
is…
“But even so, I'm just glad that she still has a chance for another life. I couldn't ask for more.”

“Are you sure na you don't wanna hear any updates about Mikha?”

Aiah released a sigh, “Siguro, Jho, this is really the time for me to move on. I guess with
Mikha moving to Australia, that already is a sign. And I won't be able to move forward from
what happened if I keep hearing updates from her. I'd rather not know kung anong nangyari
while I'm rebuilding myself para hindi na ako magrelapse. And besides, that's also her wish.
She doesn't want me hanging onto her. She hopes that when we see each other in the future,
we'll be our better versions.”

Flashback

During the time Mikha first woke up after the last surgery

“A…Aiah…” Mikha called albeit struggling. The tracheal tube isn't helping at all and Aiah
had to bring her ears close to her mouth for her to hear MIkha.

“Please…. move on… f-from me.”

“Mikhs…”

“I've… hu-hurt y-you. You… des…serve to b-be hap…happy. I might… n-not m-make it.”

“Mikhs, don't be like that! Gagaling ka pa. You're fighting pa, di ‘ba? You survived two
surgeries. Ngayon ka pa ba susuko?”

“I'm… tired. I… w-wanna res..t. But… I'm s-scared. I d-don't w-want… to d-die.”
“Please, Mikhs. You'll be okay. Tiwala lang. You're not gonna die. Baka we can fix things pa!
Maybe we can go back to how we used to be. Please, Mikha Lim I-”

“P-please… Aiah… h-heal yours-self. F-free your…self from m-me.”

“I… heard ev-every… thing. Y-you’re happy with…. with her.”

“Mikha, that's not-”

“It… it's ok… okay. I'm g-glad s-some… one's t-there f-for you. G-give her… a c-chance.”

“Mikha naman…”

“P-please… let m-me be f-free as w-well… I hated… what I d-did t-to you.”

Seeing that Mikha's firm with her decision, Aiah accepted it. She accepted the fact that she
had to move on from Mikha completely. It's also what the latter wants, anyway. And she can
see where Mikha's coming from.

“Okay, but please. Get better. Stay alive, Mikha. For yourself. For the ones who love you.
For the one you really love. Stay alive for them.”

“I… will. Th-thank you… for l-letting m… me exper… rience y-your love once, Aiah… I h-
hope when w-we see each… other a-agin, we're… comp-pletely h-healed… from the p-pain of
t-the… past.”

Aiah can't forget the way Mikha looks at her. It’s a look of acceptance, a look that says ‘let's
let go of each other so we can heal ourselves’. And who is she to deny that? She herself
knows that she needs that more than anything else. And who knows? Maybe the next time
she hears about Mikha, she's as good as how she was before all these happened.

“Jho?” she called softly.

“Hmm?”

“Hindi ba unfair sa'yo?”

“Ang alin?”

“This,” she then looked at her, “You've been by my side since we met. I'm an emotional mess
who's attempting to fix something that's beyond repair. ‘Di ka ba napapagod sa'kin?”

Jhoanna gave her a soft smile before wrapping her arm around her shoulders, squeezing her
arm slightly.

“Sa totoo lang, it's not the easiest task. Imagine, someone on the verge of death, tapos bigla
nyang ibibilin sa'kin ang taong minahal nya minsan. It's really pressuring, if I'm being
honest,” Jhoanna said which made Aiah look at her.

“Pero you know what else? Kahit naman hindi sinabi ni Ms. Lim sa'kin yun, I plan to look
out for you. Wala akong planong iwan ka nalang basta basta. I don't mind kung ano man
tingin mo sa'kin. My top priority sa ngayon is to help you get better and build yourself up
again. I know you can get past this. Magiging okay ka rin, Aiah. At sasamahan kita hanggang
sa matuto ka na ulit mahalin ang sarili mo. Okay?”

—
Months after that whole incident haven’t been easy, both for Aiah and Jhoanna, heck, even
for Stacey. There have been a lot of instances wherein days would take a toll on Aiah. Mental
breakdowns and beer bottles have been her daily companion, Tylenol or Advil being her
breakfast, with hangover soup on the side. Even Stacey’s being stressed out by her. This isn’t
the normal ate Aiah that she knew.

The doctor has been dedicated, to say the least. It was as if it’s part of her daily routine to
check on the woman, be it via call or if her gut feeling tells her, she’ll go straight to her
apartment (she knows her work schedule by heart at that point). Especially after that one
time, when she found Aiah passed out barely hanging on her couch with her coffee table
cluttered with empty beer bottles and cans. She knew right then and there that it wouldn’t be
easy from then on.

“Nakabalik ka na ba kay Doc Yves?” the doctor asked while she’s cooking dinner for both of
them.

Jhoanna has made a promise to herself to visit and spend time with Aiah from time to time so
here she is, gracing Aiah’s kitchen with her culinary skills. She also took responsibility for
filling up her pantry with healthy stuff that doesn’t include alcohol. She doesn’t tell the
woman but she secretly swaps some of her beer bottles and cans with bottled fruit juices or
healthy fruit sodas just so she’ll lessen her alcohol consumption even just a bit. If ever Aiah
noticed, she never mentioned it to the doctor.

“Balik daw ako in a week. Though she said naman that my blood level’s returning to normal
na. She’s also suggesting that I see a psychologist din if I’m having a hard time.”

“Hmm, tell me lang if you’re going to look for one. I can help you with that.”

“Okay lang, Jho. I can handle things pa naman. I’ll be fine.”

—
Aiah’s not fine.

That much Jhoanna had figured.

“Sorry, Doc. Ikaw lang pwede ko tawagan ngayon eh. Nasa univ pa si Shee. Ongoing
photoshoot kami right now. Sorry po talaga.”

“Okay lang, Stacey. I’m glad you called. Buti nalang, wala akong patient ngayon. On the way
na ako sa kanya.”

“Sige po, doc. Ingat pagdadrive! Puntahan ko kayo as soon as I’m done.”

Once the call ended, Jhoanna picked up the pace, pushing her accelerator more to the point of
almost getting a speeding ticket.

It didn’t take long when she arrived in front of a very familiar bar somewhere in Poblacion.
She has no choice but to put her truck in hazard and leave it on the side of the road before
running inside the bar.

“Sir, excuse me? Saan na po yung girl na nag pass out daw? About my height, long straight
hair, pretty face? Her friend called me earlier. Tumawag daw kayo sa kanya.”

Given the description, the bartender immediately recognized whoever Jhoanna’s looking for.
“Ay, yes po, ma’am! Manager po namin yung tumawag sa emergency contact ni ma’am.
Andun po sila sa dulong seat. Tulog pa rin ata s’ya eh.”

“Sige, sir. Thank you po!”

As Jhoanna’s about to walk close to the passed-out woman, she immediately recognized the
other woman beside her.

“Jho?! Anong ginagawa mo dito?” Shar asked in confusion. It’s not in Jhoanna’s character to
be in such a place without any occasion. Not to mention, Shar could see the look of distress
on the younger’s face.

“Ate Shar! Sakto, andito ka pala. I’m here to fetch Aiah. Nag pass out na raw and I think I
just found her,” she said, pointing at the woman Shar was looking after.

“Ha? Aiah as in yung kinekwento mo?!”

Jhoanna looked at the woman closely. Despite the dimly lit room, she can’t be mistaken that
this is the woman she’s been looking for.

“Yes… that’s her. Can you help me bring her sa sasakyan ko? Naka-hazard lang ako.
Nagmamadali kasi ako kanina.”

Once they settled the passed-out Aiah in the passenger’s seat of Jhoanna’s car, Shar gave
Jhoanna a glass of iced tea before talking to her.

“Jho, wait. S’ya yung kinekwento mo before, di ‘ba? Anong nangyari? I didn’t think she’s
one to pass out sa bar? Glad I saw her earlier. May palapit kasi sanang lalaki kaya binantayan
ko na. I called someone named Stacey from her emergency contacts kaya nagulat ako na
ikaw yung dumating.”

“Uhm, medyo mahabang kwento pero she’s… not doing fine right now. I usually check up on
her from time to time. ‘Di ko inexpect na mangyayari ulit ‘to. Stacey’s her bestfriend pero
tinawagan ako ni Stacey since she can’t come right now.”
“Ulit? You mean nangyari na ‘to dati?”

“She’s been unstable lately. It’s been three months since nagstart s’ya mag depend sa alcohol.
She used to drink sa apartment nya dati kaya madali ko s’yang napupuntahan if anything
happens. Pero since she knew I was checking her pantry for drinks, she started going sa bars.
This will be the third time she passed out.”

Shar could only look at the doctor. From the stories she heard, she was actually pretty excited
to meet Aiah. But she never thought she’d meet the woman this way.

“‘Yaan mo. Pag nakita ko ulit s’ya dito, sabihan agad kita.”

“Thank you, ate Shar. Sige, mauna na muna ako. Hatid ko lang si Aiah. Salamat ulit!”

It was a struggle to bring her out of the truck. Even her height didn’t help her one bit. It’s just
terribly difficult to carry a passed-out person in general.

“Aiah, bakit naman ganito…” she huffed in between breaths as she piggybacked the woman
to her apartment. She already has a spare key in case she needs to access Aiah’s apartment,
like today.

The place wasn’t as organized as it used to be. Aside from the usual photographs and
documents that are normally scattered on her coffee table, there are also several takeout
packages and empty bottles haphazardly thrown over the overspilling trash bin.

But Jhoanna doesn't have the heart to get frustrated. She knows that it's the last thing Aiah
needs right now. She knows the woman will self-combust once people around her start
getting tired of her.

Once Jhoanna settled the drunk woman in her room, she changed her clothes to something
comfortable. Sleeping with your dress shirt and jeans isn't the most ideal attire to be in. She
made sure that the homeowner was comfortable in her sleep before she returned to the living
room. It's time to tidy things up.

She was in the middle of picking up some litter on the kitchen floor when the door opened,
revealing a disheveled Stacey catching her breath in the process.

“Doc Jho? Andito ka pa pala. Kamusta si ate Aiah? Sorry talaga. Wala lang talaga ako choice
kanina.”

Jhoanna gave a light smile to the girl. She didn't really mind at all. “Okay lang talaga, Stacey.
Coincidentally, it happened to be the bar my friend works at. S'ya pala tumawag sa’yo.”

“Oh? Buti nakita nya contact ko.”

“Ikaw daw nasa emergency contact ni Aiah. Pero don't worry, sabi ni ate Shar, yung friend
ko, notify nya ako pag nakita ulit nya si Aiah dun.”

“Grabe, stressed ako kanina while ongoing yung shoot. ‘Di ako mapakali na ewan. Buti
nalang talaga, nasundo mo s’ya, doc. Asan na pala s'ya?”

“She's in her room na. I changed her clothes na rin pero grabe, ‘di talaga s'ya nagigising.”

“Nakakaloka. ‘Di naman s'ya ganito dati.”

She watched as the doctor cleaned up the place while she settled some of her things on the
table.
“Tulungan na kita, doc.”

It took a while before the place looked decent enough to be called clean. They had to throw
out some expired food and drinks that were left abandoned in the far corner of the fridge.
Jhoanna also noticed some new stocks of beer bottles inside.

She grabbed two bottles before walking back to where Stacey's seated. She gave her the other
bottle as she slumped down on the clutter-free sofa.

“Cheers?” Jhoanna smiled as Stacey opened her own bottle before they both took a chug.

“Ang daming nangyari ngayong araw, nakakapagod,” Stacey sighed as she sinks further into
the couch.

“This will be the third time na nag pass out si Aiah sa bar. I’m getting more concerned.”

Stacey breathes in deeply before setting her bottle on top of the coffee table. There’s
something she hasn’t told anybody yet.

“Doc, may sasabihin pala ako…”

“Hmm?”

Stacey closed her eyes for a moment before spilling. “I… might leave.”
“Leave? What do you mean?”

She looked elsewhere, having no courage to look at the doctor as she told her. “Sa bansa.
Baka umalis ako ng Pinas.”

“... ha?”

“Hindi pa naman final. Wala pang details and I don’t know if mapupush ba or hindi. Pero I’m
telling you lang in case since there’s a possibility.”

“Alam na ba ni Aiah?”

Stacey only shook her head.

“That’s why nag-aalala talaga ako. She’s being like this right now so paano na lang pag
umalis ako lalo? And it’s hard to pass up on the opportunity since they wanted me there
talaga. And also, gusto ko na rin muna lumayo dito kahit saglit lang. I’m not sure if it’ll be a
smart move considering ate Aiah’s condition right now.”

Jhoanna could only sigh deeply. Even she has no idea how will Aiah deal with this once she
knows.

“Siguro, pag sure na sure and final na, saka mo sabihin sa kanya. Pero before then, I’ll try my
best to help her situation. Mag-ask na rin ako sa mga psych friends ko. It might be the best
time for her to start therapy.”

—
“Jho!” a guy in a lab coat called the doctor who’s just entering the hospital.

“Maki? Wait, andito ka pala?! Ha???” Jho can’t hide the surprised look on her face as she’s
now face to face with an old med school friend she hadn’t seen in a long time. They aren’t
really that close but since he’s close with Yves during med school so they’d hang out from
time to time.

“Kakastart ko lang dito sa MMC yesterday, actually. Sakto nagka opening sa Psychiatric
dept. Na-mention naman ni Loi na andito ka nga rin daw.”

“Ahh oo. Inabsorb na rin ako after ng residency ko eh so dere-deretso na talaga ako dito. Pero
wait, kala ko nasa Canada ka na?”

“Ay, yes. Dun ako nag residency pero umuwi rin akong Pinas nung natapos ko s'ya. Need ko
rin alagaan si mama eh so I decided to work here na rin. Besides, mahirap din naman ang
LDR so at least, ngayon, magkalapit na kami. Same hospital pa.”

Jhoanna was about to reply back but the last part got her intrigued.

“Wait, same hospital?! Teka nga, kayo ba ni-”

“Makiboi!!” they heard a familiar voice coming from the entrance door.

“Loiii! Maki then faced the incoming woman and greeted her with a tight hug. Jhoanna was
speechless, to say the least.

“Rest day ko kahapon kaya ‘di na kita nai-tour! Tapos hindi ka pa bigla pwede ng hapon
nung sabi ko mag dinner tayo.” Yves pouted as she looked at the guy, completely ignoring
Jhoanna’s existence.
“Sorry na, bub. Nagpatulong bigla si mama sa bahay. Bawi ako mamaya. Dinner tayo after ng
shift natin, okay?”

“Promise?”

“Yes po, promise ko yan. And we can spend the weekend sa inyo.”

“Sige! Miss ka na rin ni Mommy eh lalo na nung nalamang bumalik ka na ng Pinas.”

“Ehem….” Jhoanna could only fake a cough to catch the attention of the two. Based on their
interaction, she can confirm her previous question which was completely ignored.

“Jho! Sorry, andyan ka pala! Tanda mo pa naman si Maki, di ‘ba?”

“Onaman, Yves. Nag hang out din naman tayo nung mga final years natin sa med school.”

“So ayun, psychiatrist na s’ya dito sa MMC. Nakachika ako na may opening eh so tinanong
ko si Maki if bet nya dito since plan na rin naman talaga nya umuwing Pinas after ng
residency nya kaya ayun.”

“Ikaw, Yves ha. ‘Di ka nagkekwento. Kayo pala?”

“Ay, hindi ko ba nasabi? Ahaha sorry na. Pero naging kami nung 3rd year residency ko.
Medyo ilap ka pa sa tao nun eh so hindi ko na rin binanggit. Then nung nagkakausap na ulit
tayo, nakalimutan kong hindi ko pala nakekwento.”

“So si Maki pala yung nababanggit mo minsang ka-late night calls mo?”

“Yup! Alam mo naman, time difference and all.”

Jhoanna could only nod.

She was spacing out a little with the duo’s voices in the background when something
suddenly hit her.

“Wait, psychiatrist ka?” Jhoanna suddenly asked, making the two lovers halt whatever
they’re talking about.

“Ahh, yes. Bakit?”

“Well, there’s this someone I know… pero hindi muna ngayon. I’ll keep your contact nalang
in case. I’ll still convince that person.”

“Ohh, sige sige. Kunin ko nalang kay bub contact mo or I’ll ask her to give my contact to you
pero don’t hesitate to reach out, ha? And tell this person na there’s no harm in seeking
professional help lalo na if it involves their mental health. Just tell me the name once they
decide to seek help.”

“Sige sige. Try ko ulit s’ya i-convince.”

Jhoanna didn't expect that she'll be back in the bar this soon. It's only been a few days since
she fetched a passed-out Aiah in a bar and here they are now, in the same settings but this
time, Jhoanna's chugging on a glass of sangria as well.
How did she end up here? Well, Shar kept her promise and once she took notice of Aiah
ordering who knows how many drinks, she immediately sent a message to the doctor.

Jhoanna's plan was simple. She'll go there, hoping that Aiah's still conscious, then convince
her to leave the place, and they'll go home then maybe talk about getting that psychiatric help
that she probably needs.

But here she is, drinking her third glass of whatever cocktail Aiah ordered for her. She can
definitely taste the JD in her mouth.

Her initial plan has been completely scrapped the moment Aiah asks her if she can
accompany her for the night. Well, this is better than letting the woman drink alone, anyway.

“Then… then, he kept buying me drinks whenever we had shoots together even when I didn't
really ask him to. I don't know, do you think he's hitting on me?” Aiah drunkenly asks
Jhoanna as she tells a story from work about one of their recently signed-up male models.

The doctor just kept on listening to Aiah's drunken stories that she didn't notice she was on
her sixth glass already. It only occurred to her when she tried to shift her position and she
suddenly felt the world moving around her.

Shit, lasing na ata ako.

But it didn't escape her eyes how Aiah's slowly leaning on the table towards her direction,
obviously heavily intoxicated. If she's on her sixth, who knows how many glasses the other
has already drank?

Slowly, Aiah reached for the doctor's glasses and removed them carefully before giving the
woman an intense gaze. “Do you have any idea how expressive your eyes are? What's the
term nga? It's like, nangungusap ang mga mata mo,” Aiah slurred through her sentence but
Jhoanna still managed to catch it. She can see how dark the older’s eyes are as the latter looks
at her straight into her soul.
“Really? Kung ganon, what do my eyes tell you right now?” challenged the doctor.

Aiah slowly moved closer and closer as she spoke. “Your eyes… are telling me… to…”

All of a sudden, she stood up from her seat, losing her balance in the process. She would've
ended up on the floor if not for the doctor's fast reflexes. But that didn't stop the woman from
pulling her towards the dance floor.

“...dance with me!”

The next thing she knows, they're already on the dance floor, moving to the beat of whatever
EDM pop is playing right now. Everything's blurry for her, to say the least. Well, except for
the one woman in front of her who's acting like she's the only person in the room right now.

“Come on, Jho! Let's dance!”

And as if it was planned, ABBA’s Dancing Queen started playing.

Aiah held the doctor's hand as they moved around the dancefloor. Jhoanna had to double the
effort to keep both of them from falling. She can already feel the alcohol taking effect on her.
But more so, she can already see that Aiah's completely lost to the beat and the alcohol in her
system. She could barely stand up straight so Jhoanna had to keep hold of her. She put Aiah's
arms over her shoulder so the woman doesn't stumble.

“Jhooo~” she called the doctor as she leaned on her chest, trying to keep her balance.

“Aiah, uwi na tayo. You're barely awake.”

“But Jhooo…”
”Dali na, let's go. Habang kaya pa nating umuwi.”

Jhoanna carefully navigated back to their table to retrieve their things with Aiah in her arms.
The woman can barely walk straight at this point.

“Kuya Dennis!” Jhoanna called the waiter. “Please tell ate Shar na we're heading home na. I'll
leave my truck here muna. Bukas ko kunin.”

“Sige po, ma’am. Ingat kayo!”

It took a while before she was able to book a ride. At this point, Aiah's literally hanging onto
her. Her own vision was getting out of focus as well so she really hoped that the car would
arrive faster.

She didn't waste any time assisting the drunken mess inside the car before slumping herself
beside her. It was just then that she felt the world around her rotate once more. She knew she
hit her alcohol limit.

“Goods na po kayo, ma’am?”

“Yes po, kuya.”

Jhoanna decided to drop them off at Aiah's place since it's a lot closer for them. During the
car ride, it took all of her strength to keep herself calm with the way Aiah’s clinging onto her,
snuggling her head on the doctor's neck while giving feathery kisses from time to time.

Ano ba, Aiah… Deep breaths, Jho. Deep breaths.

And when the doctor thought the worst part was over, the next events were definitely not how
she expected their night to end. The next thing she knew, she was pinned against the front
door with the homeowner against her jaw, with her lips trailing down to her neck.

It didn't help that she's also intoxicated so her self-control is hanging on a thin line here. But
she's still aware of what's going on. Barely.

“Jho…”

“Ai-Aiah… t-tek… teka,” Jhoanna tried to call out only to be ignored.

“Jho… I know you want this…” Aiah mumbled in between kisses. From her neck, she
moved back to her jaw, and slowly inched her way to her lips.

That moment brought back that one single night in London, the first time their lips touched. It
felt surreal yet familiar all at the same time.

God, I miss those lips.

They made their way upstairs towards the older's bedroom, with lips still on each other's.
Jhoanna already knew what was about to come.

Aiah broke the kiss for a second to take in some air. Jhoanna was already out of breath at that
point. She didn't expect it to be this intense.

It also feels different- a lot different from when they first kissed. The kiss right now felt
rushed, harsh, distant. She can feel Aiah's raging emotions through every kiss they share. It
doesn’t feel right for some reason.

Without a warning, Aiah went in for another round of lip-locking.

“Admit it,” she spoke in between kisses, “you’ve been waiting for this to happen, don’t you?”

“That’s why… you’ve been taking care… of me,” she continued to mumble in her ears before
biting her earlobe. “You want me in bed so bad. Just like the night in London.”

This halted all of Jhoanna’s movements. “Aiah, stop.” She felt like a cold bucket of water
was poured over her. All her senses suddenly came back to her and she could feel her heart
pounding to the point that it was deafening.

She pulled herself away from the woman in front of her with a pained expression. Her eyes
are as dark as the night sky and Jhoanna could tell that there's no love in there, only lust.

“Jho?”

“No, Aiah. Sorry pero I can't do this…” Jhoanna spoke as she tried to control her breath. It
pains her so much that tears are threatening to fall from her eyes.

“What do you—”

“Aiah. let's… let's stop here. Please lang.”

“Isn’t this what you wanted? To sleep with me?” Aiah said, still in her drunken state.

“Seryoso ka ba, Aiah?”

“We’re both drunk and having fun. And you wanna fuc-”
“Are you hearing yourself right now?! You think it’s fun to mess with my feelings?” Jhoanna
looked at her exasperatedly.

It took a second before Aiah realized the gravity of the situation. “Wait, Jho. Sorry, I didn’t
mean-”

“Tangina naman, Aiah,” she pushed the woman away from her by the shoulder, “I’ve been
there for you ever since. Wala akong hinihinging kapalit. This is me being genuinely
concerned for you. Pero this is what you take me for?! Ganito ba kababaw tingin mo sa’kin?
You think I’m doing all that just to… just so I can sleep with you? Dahil lang sa lintik na
naging one-night-stand natin, you think yun na yun lang ang habol ko sa’yo?!”

“Jho, sorry I-”

“Sorry pero I can’t look at you right now. Ang sakit lang.”

Without another word, Jhoanna grabbed her coat from the floor and stormed her way
downstairs. She immediately hailed the cab she saw passing by and didn't look back not even
once before leaving.

Aiah was left sitting on the floor, finally absorbing what she had done.

“Shit, I fucked up.”

—
It's been five days and there are still no signs of the doctor. All her messages are left unread,
her calls going straight into voicemail. Even Doc Jea had no idea since she said that the
doctor took a vacation leave and she doesn't have any idea where she went.

She knows it's her fault. She's hella drunk, yes. She barely knew what she was doing. But that
doesn't excuse the fact that she just belittled the doctor’s genuine concern for her. And that
was incredibly insensitive of her, especially knowing that Jhoanna's already feeling
something for her.

She's just glad that the doctor stopped them from going further because for sure, she'll regret
it once she's sober. She never intended to use Jhoanna like that.

“Hmmm, looks like your stress level’s rising again, Ms. Arceta,” Yves took note of Aiah’s
stats and the results of her tests.

“Uhm, actually doc, can I ask something?”

Yves already had an idea but she smiled at her still, “Sure, go ahead.”

“May idea ka po ba kung nasaan si Doc Robles?”

“Ms. Arceta, as much as gusto kita tulungan pero to be honest, wala rin akong idea nasaan
s’ya ngayon. She’s not replying to my messages as well.”

“Ahh, ganun po ba? Sige doc, thank you…”

There’s hesitation in Aiah’s movements that the doctor can see. She can see that she wants to
ask something more but is thinking twice about doing so.

“Ms. Arceta, may gusto ka ba itanong? You can always ask me naman. Baka makatulong ako
sa’yo.”
Aiah took a seat again before releasing a deep sigh, “I’m thinking of taking therapies na. I’m
well aware of the fact that I’m seriously messed up these days, and yeah, that might’ve
caused Doc Jho’s actions. I made a grave mistake and I know my mental state isn’t an excuse
for what I did to her. So, ayun. I’m considering that na.”

Yves suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Jhoanna when they met with Maki
the week before. She then concludes that Jhoanna’s talking about Aiah during that time.

“Actually, I have someone to recommend to you. Perfect timing since may vacant slot pa
s’ya. Okay ka lang ba if guy yung psychiatrist?”

“Yes, wala naman pong problema sa’kin. Anyone’s fine. As long as I get help.”

“Great! I’ll give him a heads up na rin pero here’s his contact and schedule na rin para you
can visit him for consultation.”

Aiah reached for the paper that Yves was giving her. “Thank you po, Doc Ricalde. Thank you
for helping me.”

“Walang anuman, Ms. Arceta. I’m glad you’re taking this step na. And I’m always glad to
help you.”

The very next day, she’s now standing in the middle of the Psychiatric department’s hallway.
With the paper Yves gave her in her hand, she went to the receptionist.
“Uhm, excuse me po?” she called for the receptionist.

“Good morning po, ma’am. Welcome to the psychiatric department. How may I help you
po?”

She double-checked the doctor’s schedule first before looking back at the receptionist, “Uhm,
is Dr. Datoon available po? Based on this sched, he should be here today po.”

“Ahh, sige po, ma’am. Double-check ko lang po. Pa-fill up nalang po ako nitong form while
waiting.”

It took a few minutes before the receptionist called her again. “Hi, ma’am! Upon checking,
may clinic naman po si doc ngayon and sakto, wala po s’yang patient ngayon. You can
proceed sa clinic nya sa 201 po. Akyat kayo isang floor and the first room po is his clinic.
Na-forward ko na rin po information sheet nyo sa kanya.”

“Alright, thank you so much!”

She took the stairs going up, all the while thinking of what to say. It’s her first time seeking
mental help and she has no idea how it goes.

With cold hands, she knocked on the door twice before hearing a ‘Pasok po!’ from the inside.
She slowly opened the door and she was greeted with a youthful doctor smiling at her
warmly.

“Hello! Welcome po. I’m Doc Maki. I believe you’re here para magpaconsult?”

“Hi, Doc Maki. Yes po. Doc Ricalde recommended you to me.”

Maki started reading the paper that was handed to him earlier. “Okay, so you’re Ms. Aiah
Arceta? Tama? And you said here na you’re dealing with intense emotional stress?”
“Uh, yes po. Well, actually it’s probably more complicated than that though I don’t know yet
how to put it in words.”

“Okay lang yan, Ms. Arceta. We’ll get there. Right now, I just want to establish yung
magiging purpose natin dito. Since this is a consultation pa lang naman, I’m gonna ask some
questions to assess you. From your personal details down to your medical and psychiatric
history. Then, depende sa diagnosis, I’ll give you options for treatment lalo na if you’ll be
needing to take medications for it.”

“Sige po, Doc.”

Maki observed the woman in front of him and it’s obvious that she’s nervous, with her hands
fidgeting and her eyes looking all around.

“Ms. Arceta, you don’t need to be scared here. I can assure you na this is a safe space so kahit
ano pang nasa isip mo, no one will judge you for it. You can dump all your thoughts in this
room and I’ll do my best to help you, okay? ‘Wag ka mag-alala. Tutulungan kita.”

After a few sets of questions, Aiah for the first time that week finally felt relieved. The
doctor’s light aura helped her a lot in opening up about her past traumas.

“Ohhh, I’ve actually heard about Ms. Lim. Wala pa ako rito during that time since I just
started working here last week pero I have some friends here na closely involved with her
case. Kaya I understand why it’s really heavy for you. And I’m glad you decided to seek
some help na rin. Alam mo ba? A lot of people are too afraid to take the first step and they
always tend to dismiss their problems pag mental health na ang pinag-uusapan. Iniisip nila,
OA lang sila or nag-iinarte lang sila, not realizing na it’s affecting their daily life na.”

“Actually, I wasn’t planning to seek help before. Kala ko, kaya ko na s’ya. Kaso, some of my
actions started affecting my relationships with other people. I’ve been making irrational
decisions lately and my head’s always a mess nowadays. Mikha’s doctor was the first to
suggest that I seek professional help regarding my mental health. Kaso, nagpumilit akong
kaya ko pa. And now, she’s the first person to receive the consequences of my choices.”

Maki might have an idea but he didn’t ask further, respecting his patient’s privacy, especially
since this was their first meeting.

“Okay, based on your assessment, we’ll try therapy muna. I’ll observe you in the next
sessions and after a few sessions, we’ll see if we need to make adjustments, okay?”

“Sige po, doc. Thank you so much.”

Aiah has been diligent with her therapy sessions. She meets with her therapist twice a week,
which helps her cope with her day-to-day happenings.

Two weeks have passed and she’s still not on speaking terms with Jhoanna. She already saw
her around the hospital the other day but she doesn’t dare to face her yet. And it seems like
the doctor’s been ignoring her as well.

She can’t blame the doctor. Despite being drunk that night, she remembered all too well the
words she said back then. She clearly remembered the pained expression the doctor gave her,
how those tears were threatening to fall. And she hated herself for that.

The therapy’s been helping her, at least. Doc Maki’s been a great therapist so far. And despite
being friends with Jhoanna, he knows how to maintain professionalism and he doesn’t
involve personal relationships in their sessions.
“Kamusta therapy mo, ate?” Stacey asked while munching on her chocolate mousse cake. It’s
a Saturday and it’s their day off so Aiah asked the girl to hang out after so long.

“I think it’s going well naman. I’ve been feeling less tense the past few days. He suggested
some activities like journaling to help me in my day-to-day life. I might also go hiking this
weekend. It’s been a long time since last na naghike ako. He said that visiting my old hobbies
may help me recuperate.”

“That’s great to hear. Grabe, teh. Buti naisipan mo na talaga mag therapy. Ako na rin
nahihirapan sa’yo eh. Kahit ako minsan nauubusan na ng sasabihin sa’yo.”

“I’m sorry, Staks. Pati ikaw, na-stress sa’kin. Yeah, nanghingi na rin ako reco kay Doc
Ricalde nung nakaraan eh. S’ya nagreco ng therapist ko. He’s been very helpful naman.”

“Eh kayo ni Doc Jho? Kamusta na? Parang wala pa ulit akong naririnig sa about sa kanya.”

Aiah stopped sipping on her drink after that question. She hasn’t told Stacey what happened
that night. So, her friend doesn’t have any idea about the issue between them lately.

“Uhh, yeah, about that…”

“Hmm?”

“Hindi pa ulit kami nag-uusap ni Jho…”

“Ha? Since when?”

“Two weeks?” Aiah then realized that it’s been that long since she last spoke with the doctor.
All her latest messages are left unread. The only thing that’s keeping her sane is that the
doctor hasn’t blocked her yet.

“Ano!? Anong nangyari? Ilang chapters na ba na-miss ko? I thought you’re on good terms na
with each other? Hatid-sundo ka pa nga nun sa work eh kahit may sasakyan ka naman. Is that
why nagdadrive ka papasok the past week?”

“It’s my fault. The last time na nag bar ako, inaya ko s’ya samahan ako. Then, it escalated to
something. We’re both drunk pero I’m much worse. Umuwi kami sa apartment ko and in
between kisses, I said something na sobrang insensitive. That was the last time we talked.
She was mad at me.”

“WHAT THE- Okay, ‘di ko na itatanong details pero nag apologize ka na ba?”

“Sent her messages the day after pero it was left unread until now.”

Stacey could only shake her head. “Ate ko, I’ve known Doc Jho as isa sa may pinaka
mahabang pasensya sa balat ng lupa and for you to make her mad? Gurl, anong ginawa mo?”

“Please, Staks. I know how bad it was. Kaya nga until now, pinagsisisihan ko yun. I really
miss her na.”

“Why don’t you personally apologize? Nasa MMC lang naman s’ya eh. Kayang kaya mo
puntahan.”

“Does she even want to see me? Staks, nakikita ko s’ya minsan when I go to my therapies
pero wala. It’s like, I’m non-existent to her. Laging seryoso ang mukha. I’m sure nakita nya
rin ako at some point pero dedma.”

“Have you at least tried approaching her?”

“Uhm, well…”
“Tingnan mo, hindi mo pa naman pala tinatry. Basta be sincere lang. And I'm sure you didn't
mean whatever you said to her. Kaya nga nag te-therapy ka na ngayon, di ‘ba? You've already
acknowledged the fact na you're not thinking straight.”

”Point taken. I'll try sa next therapy ko. I just hope she's there.”

JHOANNA’S POV

“Doc Jho!” Doc Jea called me once she saw me entering the hospital premises.

“Oh, Doc Jea, what’s up? I asked as she approached me with a paper bag at hand.

“Wala naman. May nagpapaabot lang nito,” she then gave me the paper bag with what
seemed to be desserts inside.

“Huh? Kanino raw galing?”

“Actually, pinaiwan lang sa nurse’s station. Wala rin nakalagay kung kanino galing eh. Check
mo nalang sa loob, baka may notes.”

“Ohh. Sige, doc. Naabala ka pa. Thank you!

I went straight to my office before checking the contents. It’s the first time I received
something like this but I have no idea who’d give me this.

“Kanino kaya galing?”

Upon checking the insides, there’s a single note stuck on top of the plastic container. Doc
Jea’s right about not having a name although it has a message, it didn’t help me identify the
sender.

[ They say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So I decided to hate apples since I
don’t wanna keep you away.

Hope you have a great day, Doc!

- A]

“Huh? Sino ‘tong A?”

I kept thinking for a moment. I can’t think of anyone that would do this.

“Doc Robles!” one of the nurses called as I walked passed the nurse’s station.
“Hi, Nurse Kim! Yes po?”

“May nag-iwan nito for you,” she then gave me a small box. Again with the nameless notes.

“Uhm, alam nyo po ba kung kanino nanggaling?”

“Ay, actually pinaabot lang din sa staff daw.”

“Ohh, sige po. Thank you!”

Like the day before, I checked the contents inside when I reached my office. Like the last
time, it has a note stuck to it.

[ Nobody would want to go to the hospital every day but I’d gladly walk these white halls
every day if it meant I get to see you.

- A]

“Wala na namang pangalan?”

—
It went on for a few days and I can’t help but overthink about it. Even Doc Jea has no idea
who’s leaving these gifts in the nurse’s station. I’d know if they’re just hiding from me or
they genuinely don’t know.

I have a hunch but it’s still a little far-fetch. Although it’s weird if it really is indeed who I
thought it was.

But I gotta admit, I miss her. I was hurt, yes, but I know she didn’t mean it that way. I guess I
was a little harsh towards her when I said those words.

How long has it been… almost three weeks? I’ve been seeing her around the psychiatric
department for the past few days. Yves told me that she’s been going to therapies now under
Maki.

Yes, I’ve been asking them for updates. I’m still too embarrassed to face her after I lashed out
at her that night. Yeah, I know she’s at fault this time but I could’ve reacted a little better. I
know very well what kind of person she is.

For today, I decided to come early. I want to see who’s leaving those gifts in the nurse’s
station. Although the nurses said that different staff deliver these gifts to them, maybe I’d get
the chance to see who’s giving them anyway.

Not gonna lie, I’m lowkey hoping it’s her.

As I was sitting inside my truck, I was observing the other cars leaving and arriving here in
the parking lot. I saw Yves arrive with Maki. Seems like Maki’s been fetching Yves on the
way here. Doc Jane just finished her shift and she’s on her way to her car with Doc Jea beside
her, holding two cups of coffee. Another car entered and there, I saw Doc Adie from the
cardio department exiting his vehicle with a Tim Hortons takeout bag at hand. I remember
him being the one who operated on Doc Jane’s dad last time.
Only five minutes left before my shift. I finished the rest of my sandwich before checking my
appearance. Once satisfied, I stepped out of my truck and headed inside.

“Doc Robles!” it’s the same nurse that called me.

“Good morning po, Nurse Kim!”

“May nag-iwan ulit pala. Pinaabot lang ulit sa staff so hindi ko alam kanino talaga
nanggaling,” she then gave me a takeout bag with iced coffee inside.

“Taray naman, Doc. Parang araw araw may pa-gift sa’yo ah.”

“Hala, hindi ko nga sure kung kanino galing eh. Pero thank you, nurse Kim! Una na po muna
ako.”

As I walk to my office, thoughts come running inside my head.

Where have I seen this bag? I don’t wanna assume but did she give this to me?

But wait. I haven’t seen her car earlier. And if I remember correctly, she doesn’t have any
sessions today. (I kinda asked Yves and Maki for her schedule… just in case.)

I double-checked the content inside the takeout bag. It’s from Tim Hortons.

Then I suddenly remember why it’s familiar. It’s the one I saw Doc Adie holding earlier.

“Wait, si Doc Adie?”

—

NO ONE’S POV

“Hi, Doc Robles!” a guy greeted her.

“Hi, Doc Adie!” she greeted with a little hesitation. It’s been running in her mind what she
saw the other day.

“Kamusta naman, Doc? Minsan lang ako napapadpad dito sa Dept nyo kaya bihira kita
makita.”

“Ay, haha okay lang naman po ako, Doc. Medyo madalang mga critical patients, thankfully.”

Jhoanna felt the older doctor pat her arms. “Uy, ano ka ba? ‘Wag ka na mag ‘po’, two years
lang naman tanda ko sa’yo.”

She could only laugh at his actions. “Ay, haha pasensya na po. Nasanay lang ako.”

“Oh s’ya. Una na muna ako, Doc Robles. See you around and take care!”

The younger doctor could only stand in her position as she watched the other doctor walk
away.
They’re not particularly close. She had only seen the cardiologist a few times. From what she
knows, he just started working at MMC about six months ago. That’s why she’s surprised at
how the doctor acts towards her.

She could only stare at the half-empty cup of Tim Hortons in his hand.

It's Aiah's scheduled session and she came in extra early today. In her hand is a takeout of the
special turon she loves so much from the café in front of their workplace.

She looked around the hallway until she spotted a familiar face walking in her direction. The
other person gave her a bright smile in return.

“Ms. Arceta, good morning! Session mo ulit kay Doc Maki?”

“Yes po, Doc Yves. Though, maya-maya pa naman 10am start ko.”

Yves looked at her quizzically, glancing at the clock on the nurse’s desk not too far away,
“Nine pa lang ah?”

“Ahhh… ano po kasi…” embarrassed, Aiah looked at the paper bag she was holding. “Okay
lang po ba mag-ask ng personal favor?” Aiah asked in the softest voice she could muster. She
can feel her ears heating up with just the thought of asking the doctor this particular favor.

“Of course! Basta legal yan, ha?” Yves teased her.

“It's definitely legal naman po. It's just…”

Yves then looked at the paper bag Aiah has been holding for the past minute, “ipapaabot mo
ba ulit yan?” Yves asked.

Ulit? This got Aiah confused.

“Uh, is it okay po if you can give this to Doc Robles?”

“Sure naman, walang problema. Pero bakit ‘di mo ibigay na ikaw mismo? Medyo lost na ata
si Doc Jho kung sino nagbibigay ng mga gifts sa kanya.”

“Huh?” Aiah could only look at her with a confused face. This will be the first time she’ll be
giving Jhoanna something- after several persuasion from Stacey.

“Takang-taka s’ya sino raw nagbibigay ng mga random gifts sa kanya the past few days.
Bakit ‘di mo pa ibigay in person? For sure naman matutuwa yun. Pero maiba ako. Parang
hindi ko na kayo nakikita mag-usap ulit ah? Kaya ba pinapaabot mo lang mga gifts mo?”

A lot went on Aiah’s mind at that moment. First, the gifts, and now, she can’t shake off the
fact that it’s obvious to other people that they’re not on good terms right now.

“Sorry, I’m kinda lost po, Doc. What gifts pala? Kasi, this will be the first time I’m giving
her something…” her voice slowly fades out, and at the same time Yves’ facial expression
changes.

“Ay weh? So hindi ikaw yung nagpapaabot ng gifts kay Doc Jho?”

“Uhm, as much as I wish it was me, but no po. Ngayon pa lang sana.”
Yves could only nod at that. Now, even she’s confused at hell.

“Hmm, sige. Iabot ko mamaya pag nagkita kami. I think 11 pa shift nya today.”

“Thank you Doc Yves! I’ll be going ahead na po.”

“Jho!” Yves called from the other side of the hallway.

“Yves? Ano na naman yan?” Jhoanna asked as she looked at the paper bag in Yves’ hand.

“May nagpapaabot sa’yo.”

“Jusko. Araw-araw nalang. Sino ba naman kasi yan? Ayaw pang pakilala eh.”

“Ay, Jho. Iba ‘to. Si Aiah nagpapaabot nito sa’yo. May session s’ya ngayon eh kaya
pinakisuyo nalang sa akin.”

“Ah, so yung ibang gifts sa kanya rin galing?”

Yves shook her head. “Actually, tinanong ko yan kay Aiah kanina. Tinanong ko kasi about
dun sa ibang gifts. Apparently, first time nya magbigay ng something sa’yo.”

“Ha? Eh kanino galing yung iba?” Jhoanna asked, more to herself than to Yves.
“Beats me.”

It was then that a certain cardiologist came in walking in her direction.

“Good morning, Doc Robles!” Adie greeted, a little too enthusiastically..

“Morning po, Doc Adie!” Jhoanna tried to greet back with the same energy.

The doctor quickly glanced at the paper bag Jhoanna’s holding before looking back at her
with the same smile he was sporting earlier.

“Kamusta ka naman, Doc? Busy day?”

“Uhm, kakastart pa lang po ng shift ko actually. Pero hindi naman po busy so far.”

Adie shook his head upon hearing Jhoanna’s response, “nag-po ‘po’ ka na naman.
Pinapatanda mo naman agad ako.”

“Ay, sorry Doc! Hehe. Pero ayun, hindi naman ako busy today. Puro rounds lang sa patients
ko.”

The cardiologist paused for a bit as if thinking the next words he’s about to say. Yves was
also at the sidelines, watching the scene unfold. She has this feeling that Adie might be onto
something.

“Uh, Doc? Okay lang ba iinvite ka for coffee after shift mo?”
“Ah… baka late na matapos shift ko, doc.”

“It’s okay! May operation din naman ako later so late na rin ako matatapos. Baka masabayan
ko shift mo.”

Jhoanna’s lost on what to do. She looked at Yves in the eyes, silently asking for help.

“Doc Jho! Yung usapan natin mamaya, ah! Sasamahan mo ako dun sa binilhan mo ng dress,
di ’ba?” Yves quickly interjected upon receiving the doctor’s distress call.

“Sorry, Doc Adie. May usapan na kasi kami ni Doc Yves for later eh.”

“Ahh ganun ba? Sige, next time nalang siguro. Have a good day, Doc Robles, Doc Ricalde!”

Once the cardiologist was gone, Jhoanna could only heave a sigh of relief. She’s just thankful
that Yves got the hint and went on with it.

“Doc Adie? May something ba kayo nun?” Yves asked curiously. It’s not the first time she
saw the doctor but it’s the first time she saw him approaching Jhoanna.

“Actually, hindi ko rin alam, Yves. Nagulat na lang ako pag nagkakasalubong kami tas bigla
nya ako kakamustahin.”

“Hmm, baka type ka?”

Jhoanna could only grimace. It’s not that the doctor’s not an ideal partner. He’s a doctor, a
cardiologist at that. He has the money, the face, and he’s actually nice.
“Ayoko muna mag-assume. Baka mamaya, nice lang talaga s’ya. Maging asumera pa ako,
jusko. Maissue pa dito sa dept.”

“Thank you po ulit, Doc Maki! I’ll try out yung mga recommendations nyo,” Aiah gave a
smile at the doctor as she packed her things.

“I’m glad that you’re disciplined sa routine na sinet mo. That’s a great attitude. Yung
adjustment lang ng dosage sa mga meds mo. You may start those tomorrow. Then we’ll see
next session if it works.”

“Got this, Doc. Thank you so much! I’ll go ahead na po.”

Aiah was relieved that after some time, the dosage of her meds was lessened. It was a terrible
start for her if she was being honest. Second week into her session and Doc Maki needed to
prescribe her some meds to help her sleep at night and battle her panic attacks. She was lucky
that Stacey was with her when she first had a panic attack while they were at work. That was
when Aiah realized that her situation was that serious.

As she stepped out of the clinic, she was greeted by the sight of her favorite doctor, all smiles
and giggles talking to an unfamiliar doctor that she hadn’t seen before.

Her plans of walking up to her and talking about that night were set aside that instant.

“I guess I’ll just talk to her some other day.”

—

“Ay, hindi naman. Matagal na rin ako dito sa MMC since dito na rin ako nag residency.
Feeling ko tuloy ang tanda ko na,” Jhoanna laughed after realizing how long she’s been
working at the hospital. She’s one of the younger ones and yet, she’s been here a lot longer
than most of her colleagues.

“Ohhh, same kayo ni Doc Ricalde pala? Kaya ba close kayo?” Adie asked while drinking his
coffee.

“Classmates kami during med school. Sabay rin kami nag residency dito although GP s’ya
and mas nag train ako as surgeon. I’m still thinking if mag specialize ako like cardio or
neurosurgeon, something like that.”

“Maganda rin naman sa Cardio dept. Sabi nga nila, in times of doubt, sundin mo ang puso
mo.”

Jhoanna raised an eyebrow at what the doctor said. “Hm? Parang wala naman akong alam na
ganyan. Sino may sabi nyan?”

Adie can’t help but laugh at Jhoanna’s teasing, “Ako. Ako may sabi nyan. Pero aminin, totoo
naman ah?”

“Hmm, may point naman. Sometimes, the mind’s getting too logical that it ignores what the
heart wants.”

The two continued talking, but Jhoanna couldn’t shake the feeling that she’s being stared at.

She discreetly glanced around and at that moment, she saw a very familiar retreating figure
heading towards the stairs.
She can’t be mistaken that it’s the woman she’s been missing the past few weeks. But she
can’t help but wonder. Did she deliberately ignore her? Did she see her? But that doesn’t
make sense when just that morning, she received a gift from Aiah, confirmed by Yves herself.

Speaking of gifts… She’s been meaning to ask Doc Adie about those. But she’s still not sure
and she doesn’t wanna sound like she's assuming. Besides, why would Doc Adie give her
those random gifts, anyway?

“Doc Robles?” Adie called her attention.

“Uh, yes?”

“Ay, sorry. Medyo nadistract ka ata, hehe. I was asking kung available ka tomorrow? Kahit
after shift.”

This time, Jhoanna knows that the doctor will ask her out again. But of course, being Jhoanna
Robles, she doesn’t wanna be rude to anyone, even if it means she’d be forced to go out with
someone she’s not that close with.

Maybe he just wants to hang out? Just talk over coffee? Yeah, maybe it’s just that.

“Hmm. 8am to 5pm ako bukas. Wala pa naman akong plans after.”

“Great! Sige, let’s get coffee after your shift. My treat.”

—
“Umoo ka?” Yves asked, surprised by Jhoanna's decision. And to think she had to make an
excuse to save her this afternoon.

“Eh baka naman kasi gusto lang maghang out talaga. Tinurn down ko na s’ya ngayon eh.
Coffee lang naman.”

Yves looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Alam mo teh? Iba kutob ko dyan kay Doc Adie.
Di ‘ba, ikaw na rin yung may sabing baka sa kanya galing yung mga gifts before?”

Jhoanna just shrugged her shoulders. “We'll see. Kung sakali namang may makita akong red
flag, aatras na agad ako.”

“Well, at least naman alam mo dapat gawin dyan. Pero anong plano mong gawin dun sa isa?”

Jhoanna looked at her quizzically, “Huh? Sinong isa?”

“E ‘di yung nagbigay sa’yo ng gift kaninang umaga. Anong plano mo kay Aiah?”

Jhoanna paused for a bit, thinking. She can’t deny the fact that she badly wanted to talk to the
woman. But, being the Jhoanna that she is, she’s not sure if the woman even wanted to talk
to her in the first place. Maybe she’s still mad at her? Or perhaps she doesn’t wanna see her
again after that night.

“Robles, alam ko na tumatakbo sa utak mo. Jusko naman, bakla ka. Ikaw na nga binigyan ng
regalo, tas iisipin mo ayaw kang kausapin or makita man lang? Sino bang baliw ang
magbibigay ng regalo sa taong ayaw nyang makita? Unless ako nanay ni Aiah tas lalapagan
kita ng sampung milyon para lang layuan mo anak ko?”

“Ewan ko sa’yo, Ricalde. Nakakatakot kaya.”

Yves wanted to face-palm so bad. She knows Jhoanna to be a smart but when it comes to…
this topic, she’s a hopeless case for sure.

“Alam mo, kaka-ganyan mo, lalo ka nun aayawan. Tsaka just to inform you lang, nakita ko
s’ya kanina after nung session nya with Maki. Parang hinahanap ka ata? Pero umalis na rin
shortly.”

“Eh? Baka guni-guni mo lang yung hinahanap nya ako. Nakita ko naman s’ya kanina nung
paalis na s’ya. Parang hindi naman nya ako hinahanap.”

“Baliw ka kase. Nakita ka nyang kausap si Doc Adie. Syempre, kung ako man nasa situation
nya tas nakita kitang may kausap na iba, e di aalis na lang ako.”

“So, anong gagawin ko?” she asked as confusion clouded her mind even more.

“I don’t know… maybe kausapin s’ya? Like, yung dapat na ginawa mo weeks ago.”

“Pero kasiii,” she pouted, to which Yves could only grimace at the sight.

“Naka-nguso ka na naman. Nakakainis. Kausapin mo na kasi!”

Jhoanna had been thinking the whole night about how she's gonna do it. It's why Yves found
her slipping into dreamland when she passed by her office to check up on her friend.
“Antok na antok, teh? Kakarating mo lang ah,” she said as she put a cup of hot coffee in front
of her.

“Kanino na naman ‘to galing? Wala naman sched si Aiah ngayon ah so wala s'ya dito.”

“Ay, taray, kabisado sched ni ate mo Aiah. Pero walang may bigay nyan. Nakita lang kita
kanina na parang zombie sa antok, kaya binilhan na kita nung bumili ako sa 7eleven.
Pasensya na kung yun lang afford ko. Kesa naman sa kape dito sa pantry natin. Wala nang
aroma yung beans na ginagamit nila. Luma na ata,” Jhoanna can't help but laugh at Yves’
remark about the coffee in their pantry. It does taste stale the last time she drank from it.

“Thanks for this, Yves. Mukhang need ko ata talaga. Buti nalang puro rounds lang ako
ngayon.”

“Ano ba kasing pinag gagawa mo at parang wala kang tulog?”

Jhoanna sipped on her coffee first before messing with her hair, stressed about her dilemma.
“Kasi naman eh, kasalanan mo ‘to.”

“Ha?! Ginawa ko sa’yo?”

“Sabi mo kasi kausapin ko na si Aiah.”

“Well, tama naman, di’ba? I mean, aba't plano mo bang hindi na kausapin yon?”

“No! I mean, yes, kakausapin ko naman s'ya. Pero ayun, nag-isip isip ako kagabi kung
paanong approach ang gagawin ko.”

Yves could only look at her incredulously, “Let me get this straight. So, napuyat ka, wala
kang tulog dahil iniisip mo paano s'ya kakausapin?”
Jhoanna only gave her a nod.

“Gurl? Ano ka? Highschool na pinoproblema paano aayain sa JS prom yung crush nya?”

“Yves naman ihh!!”

“Seryoso kasi, Jho. Bakit ba masyado mo inooverthink? It's Ms. Aiah Arceta we're talking
about. Mama Mary sa balat ng lupa. Kahit mag Hi ka lang dun, ngingitian ka na nun. And
sure ako, she's also waiting for you to talk to her. ‘Di mo ba naisip na baka mas takot s'ya
mag first move kasi s'ya yung may kasalanan and nasa isip nya, galit ka pa rin sa kanya?”

“Hindi naman na ako galit sa kanya eh. Okay, I admit na nasaktan ako nung gabing yun pero
I'm sure she didn't mean it and medyo OA din reaction ko.”

Yves can't help but stand up and hold her friend by her shoulder out of frustration. “Jho, hindi
ka OA. Oo alam naman nating OA ka as a person pero hindi pagiging OA yung reaction mo
that night. Nasaktan ka sa sinabi nya and what you felt was completely valid. Trust me, kahit
si Aiah mismo, mag aagree sa akin. And yes, hindi ka na galit sa kanya, pero does she know
that? Hindi! All she knows is nag walk out ka that night, nag vacation leave ka after,
conveniently losing your phone and cards habang nasa Bohol ka kaya walang maka contact
sa’yo that time, leaving all messages and calls unanswered and for sure, she took that as a
sign na ayaw mo s'yang kausapin.”

“‘Di naman sa ayaw ko s'ya kausapin. Tsaka nagkataon lang talaga na yun sched ng Bohol
trip ko. Last year ko pa na-book yun sa piso fare. Tsaka ayun nga, na-stress din ako sa pag-
aasikaso ng retrieval ng number ko pati mga cards ko pagka-uwi kaya medyo sabog utak ko
that time.”

“Ayan, ngayon mo problemahin yang sa inyo ni Aiah. Who knows, baka makatulong pa yun
sa kanya. Hindi ko tinatanong si Maki about sa situation ni Aiah since confidential yun pero
nakikita ko rin naman s'ya minsan pagkakatapos ng sessions nya. Obvious sa kanya if
something's bothering her.”
“Kita ko rin naman yun eh pag nakikita ko s'ya around dito.”

“Oh, see? She wanted to reach out. Kaya nga nagpaabot s'ya ng gift kahapon eh. Peace
offering siguro,” she then momentarily looked at the gift bags sitting on the doctor's shelf,
“yun pa pala. Si Doc Adie. Linawin mo ano ba gusto nya mangyari.”

“‘Di pa nga tayo sure if sa kanya talaga galing yang mga gifts eh. A. lang naman nakasulat
dun sa notes.”

“Eh basta! May coffee date kayo mamaya, di ‘ba? At least linawin mo side mo na you're not
available na— wait, unless you're taking him into considera—”

“Uy, hind, ah! Please, kahit pa objectively, ang ideal nyang tao, pero hindi ko s'ya type talaga.
Hindi naman sa choosy ako pero—”

“Hindi choosy kasi may na-choose na,” Yves looked at her with her brows moving up and
down. She can't help but tease her friend. Seeing a fuming Jhoanna is one of her favorite
pastimes for sure.

Irritated, she threw a used tissue paper towards the teasing doctor, “Wala ka bang trabaho at
ako na naman yung bunot mo? Nasan na ba jowa mo at nang maisoli na kita don? Pacheck up
ka na rin kaya sa kanya?”

“Excuse me, on break ako ngayon and don't worry, punta ako kay Maki in a bit tas mag
bonding kami kasi happy happy kami. Eh ’di sana ikaw rin happy happy kung kinausap mo
na si—”

“Alis ka na nga! Panget mo ka-bonding, Yves!”

Still in the fits of laughter, Yves left her office, finally giving her the peace and quiet she was
having before a certain GP intruded her office.
But she won't deny that all the things Yves said were true. She needs to talk to Aiah soon, and
she needs to make things clear with Doc Adie on whatever he's planning.

She could only massage her temple. “Lord, why naman po ganito…”

Afternoon came and Jhoanna's already dreading the moment when her shift ended. She can
already see a certain cardiologist happily chatting with the nurses at the nurse's station,
seemingly waiting for her.

She can see Yves smiling at him quickly before heading inside her office once again.

“Oh, andito ka na naman?”

“Grabe, I feel the love talaga, Doc Jho. I'm so touched,” Yves faked a tear which made
Jhoanna roll her eyes at the doctor.

“Ano na naman agenda mo sa'kin?”

“Wala lang. Nakita ko si Doc Adie sa labas. Mukhang inaantay ka talaga. Excited ka na ba?”

If rolling eyes was a sport, Jhoanna would be running for podium finish at this point with
whatever words coming out of Yves’ mouth. “Ikaw nalang kaya sumama sa kanya? Tutal
mukhang good friends naman kayo eh.”
“Gusto mong may magsapakan na Cardio at Psych?”

“Uy, mas exciting yun! Wala pang one month si Maki, magkaka report na agad.”

“‘Wag mo ako nililibang, Jho. Yung napag-usapan natin, ha?”

Jhoanna looked at her confusedly, “ha? Ang dami kaya nun. Alin dun?”

This time, it’s Yves’ turn to roll her eyes. “Bakla ka, yung sabi kong linawin mo intention ni
Doc Adie!”

“Ahhh… Yeah, tanungin ko s’ya no? Like, ‘I’m sorry, Doc, pero ikaw ba nagbigay nung mga
random gifts sa’kin the past days? May gusto ka ba sa’kin?’ Gurl, nakakahiya kaya!”

“Boang, ‘di ko naman sinabing tanungin mo straight to the point. Ikaw na bahala pero just be
subtle para hindi ka magmukhang assuming. Matalino ka naman so kaya mo na yan isipin
mamaya. Basta focus ka lang sa goal.”

“Doc Jho!” the cardiologist greeted enthusiastically upon seeing Jhoanna walking towards
the nurses’ station.

“Hi, Doc Adie! Matagal ka bang nag-intay? Pasensya na, may mga unexpected errands lang.”

“Ay, no, it’s completely fine! I completely understand naman. No need to be sorry. So, tara?”
Jhoanna quickly glanced around, finally locking eyes with Yves before giving an unsure
smile. Yves returned the gesture with a thumbs up, trying to cheer her up but for sure, it
didn’t help Jhoanna one bit.

She’s starting to rethink her decisions in life at that moment.

The two walked towards the parking lot, with Adie leading the way to his car. “Ako na muna
bahala, Doc. Kunin mo nalang yung truck mo after.”

“Oh sige.”

It took a while before they arrived at their destination. Adie parked his car beside an
overlooking cafe.

“Sa Rizal pa talaga tayo dumayo ah. Layo naman nito, Doc Adie.”

“It’s fine! Ako naman nag-aya so it’s not an issue. I’ve read great reviews about this place so
na-curious ako. I hope you don’t mind pala. I’m sorry if I didn’t ask first kung okay lang
sa’yo na lumayo tayo sa metro,” Adie scratched the back of his head while giving her an
apologetic smile.

“Uy, ano ka ba? Ayos lang naman! Nagulat lang ako. Akala ko dun ka lang sa cafe sa malapit
sa hospital mag-aaya. ‘Di ko lang inexpect na dadayuhin pa pala natin yung cafe. Mukhang
mahal pa naman dito.”
“Okay lang yun, Doc Jho! Deserve mo naman masarap na coffee. And I’m keeping my
promise na this will be my treat so order anything you want.”

The two ordered food, with the owner recommending them their bestsellers. Being
indecisive, Adie ordered several types of dishes for them to snack on. Jhoanna’s not
complaining though, especially when she’s already feeling hungry even before they leave the
hospital. But of course, she wouldn’t admit that.

“Ang dami naman nito! Kaya ba natin ubusin lahat ‘to?” Jhoanna asked as she looks at all the
food in front of her.

“Okay lang yan para ma-try natin iba’t ibang food nila. Pwede naman natin i-take out yung
matitira. So, shall we dig in?”

Jhoanna won’t lie. Everything indeed tastes good, especially their bestsellers. She definitely
understands why they’re the bestsellers.

They didn’t notice the time as they were enjoying each other’s company, with Adie telling
funny stories from his department.

“It didn't happen only once, which made it even funnier! Napatanong nalang talaga si Doc
Ramirez na ‘kanino bang playlist yon?’, and what's worse is that it was during a surgery!
Imagine, you’re so focused on the surgery tas from mga classic songs from the likes of
Schubert, Beethoven, biglang tutugtog yung ‘Wheels on the bus’ ng Cocomelon?”

”Bakit naman kasi biglang naging cocomelon?” Jhoanna asked while still controlling her
laughter. Tears have begun forming in the corner of her eyes from laughing too much.

“Apparently, ginamit daw nung asawa ni nurse Byran yung spotify nya sa bahay while taking
care of their child, kaya biglang lumipat sa nursery rhymes.”

“Jusko, kung ako yun, I'm sure hindi ako makakapagpigil ng tawa kung andun ako.”
“Yeah, kahit si Doc Ramirez na laging seryoso, napatawa nalang din. Sobrang embarrassed ni
nurse Bryan, never na ulit s'ya nagconnect sa speaker. Napa-family subscription na rin s'ya
for his wife.”

“Hay, grabe. Buti hindi pa naman nangyayari yan sa’kin. Hirap pa naman ako magpigil ng
tawa no matter how serious the situation is.”

Adie gave her a smile, “That's alright, doc Jho. That's one of your charms, actually. I've
attended one of the conferences na nagpresent ka, and your energy keeps the audience alive.”

Jhoanna doesn’t know how to react to that, but she can definitely feel her cheeks heating up.

Hala, kinilig ka don, bakla? She thought to herself.

It took a little while before they were done with desserts and the next thing they knew, it was
already eleven thirty in the evening.

“Thank you pala sa treat, Doc Adie. Nag-abala ka pa talaga.”

“It's my pleasure! And since it's late na, let me just drive you home. Bukas mo nalang kunin
sasakyan mo sa hospital. I can fetch you before your shift naman. What time's your shift ba?”

“Uhh, it's okay lang, Doc. No need to fetch me naman. Hindi rin naman super aga ng shift ko
tomorrow. Pero I might take up your offer to drive me home tonight, if it's alright.”

“Oo naman, walang problema. Ako na nag-offer, di ‘ba? So, let's go?”
—

JHOANNA'S POV

The drive back home wasn't as awkward as I'd imagined. We talked about a lot of things,
even talking about some throwback events during our med school years. It's a great way to
keep both of us awake while he's driving.

Since there was no traffic, the drive going back was a bit quicker. I told him the directions to
my apartment. Not a moment has gone long and we're already traversing the street where my
apartment is.

“Okay lang talagang sunduin kita bukas, Doc Jho, since ako naman nag-insist na iwan mo
sasakyan mo sa hospital.”

“Okay na nga. No need na, doc. And besides, along the way lang naman ako ni Yves so
pwedeng sa kanya na ako sumabay if ever.”

“Sure ka? Final answer?”

“Yes, final answer. Hindi rin ako sanay na sinusundo ako eh.” Kasi, mas prefer kong ako
yung sumusundo at naghahatid.

“Sige na nga, hindi na kita pipilitin. Pero super thank you for accepting my invite from
earlier. I know it's far-fetched pero sana this will not be the last.”

You see, he's not so bad to hang out with, at all. He's got wit and humor. He talks with
substance and is actually a good guy.
“We'll see in the future,” I only gave him a smile before I started unbuckling my seatbelt. He
immediately went out of the driver's seat and in no time, opened the passenger door for me. A
gentleman as well.

“Ingat ka pauwi, ha? Drive safely. Thank you for tonight as well.”

“Don't worry, I will. I'll be going na. Don't hesitate to tell me if you need someone to pick
you up tomorrow. Ingat and take care din! Good night!”

After a quick, friendly hug, he finally drove away, and I could finally release the breath I
didn’t realize I was holding earlier.

I checked around the area and it was just then that I noticed a familiar sedan parked near my
apartment. The place isn't that well-lit so I didn’t really notice it earlier. I thought it was just a
random car.

I was skeptical at first, but as I walked closer to my front door, I noticed a figure sitting by
the steps, leaning on the door. Her head’s hanging down so I can’t tell if she’s awake or if she
fell asleep.

But why would she be here? At this hour?

I was about to approach her when she suddenly looked up, surprising me. Her eyes are a bit
swollen. I don’t know if she just woke up or if there’s any other reason for that to happen. But
the expression she’s showing, it’s as if she’s about to cry.

“Aiah? Bakit andito ka? Gabing-gabi na, it’s not safe to stay out.” I asked in concern and
confusion. Taking in a quick sniff of her scent, I could tell that she had drunk a bit. I saw an
empty bottle of beer beside her.

“Huli na ba ako?” she asked with her voice cracking.

“Huh?”

“Am I too late, Jho? Did I take too long that you finally realized you’re better off with
someone else?”

I don’t have any idea what she’s talking about but first things first. We need to get inside the
house first before I talk to her.

I guess I don’t need to wait until I dare to talk to her. As they say, the opportunity sometimes
just walks in your front door. Or like in my case, it’s literally waiting by my front door.

“Aiah, let’s go inside muna, please. Malamig ang hangin,” I said as I removed my blazer and
put it on her shoulder. She’s wearing a rather thin sleeveless shirt so I’m not sure how she’s
able to survive this cold weather without freezing.

I picked up the empty bottle beside her before guiding her to stand up. I’m not sure how long
she’s been here. She might have even fallen asleep here earlier, which really worries me since
it’s too dangerous for her to be here alone, unaware of her surroundings.

Once inside, she sat down on my sofa as I prepared a cup of tea for her.

“Kumain ka na ba? Are you hungry?” I asked. She was about to answer but then I heard her
stomach growl. I can’t help but let out a little chuckle even when I know it’s not appropriate
to laugh at this time. I’m sure she’s hiding her flushed face at this very moment.

“‘Wag ka na tumanggi. I’ll cook something up for you. Mabilis lang ‘to.” She didn’t argue
after that, thankfully. I’m pretty sure she realized that she’s actually hungry.

It didn’t take long before I finished a quick stir-fried rice with sausages. I added some eggs as
well.
“Kain ka na muna dito. Pasensya na, yan lang yung medyo mabilis i-prepare for now,” I said
as I prepared the table with her plate and utensils. I poured some orange juice in a glass and
put it on the table as well.

She stood up from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen, without a word, she sat down in
front of the food.

“T-thanks, Jho…” she said softly before grabbing the spoon to start.

I’m just sitting in front of her, checking some of my socials while waiting for her to finish. I
know we’re not exactly ready to talk about a lot of stuff that’s been left unsaid but there’s
nothing we could do now but face the elephant in the room.

“Ikaw?” she asked, looking at me with her hand hanging mid-air, holding her spoon.

“I’m good na, Aiah. Kain ka lang dyan. I made that for you.” She only nodded before
continuing.

I can’t deny that the silence is quite deafening. It feels a little awkward, especially when I
remember the first thing she said when she saw me earlier.

What did you mean by that? What did you mean that you’re too late?

Fifteen minutes passed and she was finally done.

“Ako na maghugas nyan later. Just leave it there. It’s fine.”

I stood up and went to the sofa and she followed as well, returning to her previous position.
A full minute passed by before I cleared my throat. “So…” I started.

“Jho…”

I can’t explain it but hearing her voice… it felt heavy. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on
inside her mind but it pains me to see her like this.

“I know this talk is long overdue, and mali ko naman na umiwas ako-”

“No, Jho! Kasalanan ko. I did a very horrible thing to you and I deserved that treatment. Pero
syempre, that doesn’t mean na hindi masakit sa part ko pero I know it’s my fault.”

She’s not wrong. Even with our situation now, I shouldn’t invalidate that I felt hurt back then.
It’s good that she has acknowledged her mistake and I should, as well.

“I’m gonna be honest, Aiah. Sobrang nasaktan ako that night. I felt degraded. Parang sobrang
nanliit ako when you said that. Parang hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko sa sakit na
nararamdaman ko after I left you that night,” the more I talk, the more she brings her head
down. I know what I’m saying must’ve been heavy on her but I need her to know how I felt
in all honesty.

“Pero nag-isip isip din ako. I’ve known you enough to know na hindi naman talaga ganung
kababa ang tingin mo sa’kin. And let’s admit. There will be times na may masasabi talaga
tayong masama at masakit sa ating kapwa kahit gaano pa sila kahalaga sa’tin, especially
when we’re in our lowest points in our lives. You might have said that to me, pero that one
mistake doesn’t define your whole being,” with that said, she finally looked up, being able to
meet my gaze for the first time that night.

“Masakit talaga s’ya, oo. Kaya I needed some time to let things cool down and let me feel the
pain para pag hinarap ulit kita, hindi na puro sakit at galit ang nararamdaman ko.”
“But why did you disappear? I tried contacting you. I messaged you many times.
Tinatawagan kita pero unattended. I even asked sina Doc Jea kung nasaan ka pero hindi rin
daw nila sure.” I can see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Okay, now I kinda felt guilty
for avoiding her but I needed that time as well.

“Sobrang natakot ako nun, Jho. A week has passed pero wala pa rin. Hindi kita makita sa
ospital. I even went here pero wala ka for how many days. Gustong-gusto kita puntahan at
kausapin pero hindi ko na alam kung papaano…”

I think I have to explain what exactly happened at that time. To be fair, I didn’t really mean to
avoid her for that long. But yeah, a lot of unfortunate events just happened at the worst
possible time.

“Kalma ka muna, Aiah. I’m gonna explain what happened back then, okay? Don’t overthink
muna.” For some reason, I stood up from my seat and transferred beside her. I can feel her
trembling a bit but I hope that she feels that I’m not against her presence.

“Ganito kasi yun… I admit, the first few days, sadya kong inignore mga messages mo. I
don’t have the heart yet to read those. May kirot pa eh. Hinayaan ko muna ang sarili ko
namnamin yung sakit para mailabas ko na lahat. Kaso, naalala ko, schedule nga pala yun ng
Bohol trip ko. I booked that last year pa kaya kahit medyo sadgirl ako nun, I still travelled.
Solo travel naman yun so sabi ko, baka makatulong sa’kin to calm my nerves,” I started
explaining. I already told this to Doc Jea when she asked about it. Even she’s dumbfounded
after I told her everything.

“I stayed there for about two weeks. Pero a few days in Bohol palang, I already felt light na.
I’ve thought about everything that happened, and I was ready to talk to you. Sabi ko,
rereplyan na kita and kakausapin na kita pag-uwi ko. But shit happened. Nawala ko phone
ko. Actually, I lost my whole pouch. Not sure kung nadukutan ako or I lost it somewhere
pero ayun, nawala s’ya. I don’t have an extra phone with me that time. Buti nalang, printed
lahat ng documents at tickets ko kaya nakauwi pa rin naman ako.” I gotta admit, that week
was HELL for me. Sobrang dami kong inasikaso because of that.

“Plano ko naman talaga kausapin ka pagkauwi ko kaso I need to go to banks para asikasuhin
yung mga nawala kong cards. Need ko rin i-retreive number ko kaya sobrang sabog ako that
week, nawala na sa isip ko hagilapin ka. Basically, sobrang stressed ko pagbalik.”
“Hala! Oh my gosh I didn’t know! Inassume ko lang na ayaw mo na talaga ako kausapin…”

“Nooo, I would never not want to talk to you. It’s just that, sobrang panget lang ng timing
and ang daming nangyari kaya naman after nun, I don’t know how to talk to you. And I heard
that you’re taking therapy na kaya hindi muna kita ginulo. I only ask Yves for updates pag
may balita s’ya sa’yo.”

After explaining, both of us looked at each other for a while before we let out a chuckle.

“Grabe, basically, nagkakapaan at nag-iintayan lang pala tayo…” I said, quite amused. Now
that I think about it, if one of us initiated back then, everything should’ve been fine by then.

“Actually, there’s another reason why I didn’t reach out to you rin. I’ve been seeing you
receiving gifts from time to time. And I saw you talking to another doctor back then. Kaya
ayun… I take it that maybe it’s too late for me to ano…” She began explaining but I didn’t
hear the last part clearly as her voice was becoming softer and softer as she talked. I noticed
that she’s like this when she’s hesitant to say something.

“Ahhh, yung mga gifts ba? Actually, sobrang lost din ako kanino nanggaling yun.
Anonymous eh. Kala ko pa nga, galing sa’yo eh. Not until may pinaabot ka kay Yves and
sabi ni Yves, first time mo raw mag-iwan ng something.”

“Ahh… baka galing dun sa guy doctor na kausap mo…” again with her soft voice, so I don’t
have a choice but to lean in closer to her.

“Sorry, ano ulit?”

“Nothing, don’t mind me. And I guess I should be going na. I’ve disturbed you enough.
Galing ka pa ata sa date eh,” she stood up and was about to head for the door but I was able
to catch her arm.
“Aiah, dito ka na matulog. Sobrang gabi na,” I looked at her with the most pleading eyes I
could muster.

“Pero-”

“Please? May therapy ka bukas, di ‘ba? Sabay na tayo. Ako na mag drive.”

“Sure ka? Hindi ako nakakaabala?”

“No! You’re never a bother to me. And ano, I… I missed you, Aiah.” I’m not sure if she
heard the last part. I wasn’t really planning on saying that but I just can’t help it. It’s been so
long since the last time we’ve been this close to each other, and now I can’t help but miss her
a lot.

“Pero Jho, can you be honest? Am I too late?” she asked again, which got me confused. Too
late for what?

“Too late? Saan?”

This time, Aiah returned to seat beside me. She faced me with that expression of hers that I
can’t quite understand.

“I’ve been watching you talk to him. And I saw you earlier. Hinatid ka nung guy, the doctor
from your hospital that you’re talking with before. Actually, I thought you’re still at the
hospital kanina kasi nakita ko yung truck mo, but turns out, you’re out with the doctor. That’s
when I knew that I’m bound to lose you anytime if I don’t take my shot… kaso, parang huli
na rin naman…” this time, despite the softness of her voice, I can hear her clearly. I can hear
and feel the pain that’s laced in her voice.

Wait, I think I get it. I don’t wanna assume things but…

“Wait, linawin ko lang. So, you’re saying you’re too late because… you thought I’m going
out with Doc Adie?” I asked, clarifying what she meant by that.

“So that’s his name… Okay, gets ko naman na. He looks fine and a doctor as well,” she said
while nodding in understanding even though she didn’t really understand anything. Oh, Aiah.
If only you knew…

“Kasalanan ko rin naman eh. Ako ‘tong gagawa-gawa ng kasalanan, tapos ako pa ‘tong
mabagal kumilos. I should’ve talked to you once I got the chance. And besides, wala naman
ako karapatang ipagdamot ka-”

“Wait lang- pwedeng kumalma ka muna saglit?” I stopped her. I’m sure she won’t stop with
her pity party if I don’t clear myself.

And I think I’m pretty sure what she meant.

I held her by the shoulders so we were now face to face with each other. I looked at her
straight in the eyes. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt a little nervous doing so.

I didn’t plan whatever I’m about to say so I’ll just let my mouth do the talking.

“First of all, pareho lang naman tayong may mali. Nag-antayan tayo kaya ang tagal din natin
hindi nakapag-usap. Second, I just want to clarify that I am not dating anyone at the moment,
heck, especially not him. Yeah, he’s okay pero I don’t really see myself in a relationship with
him. Tsaka kakakilala ko lang sa kanya last week. I’m not even sure kung anong intentions
nya sa’kin. It’s just that ni-reject ko na s’ya kahapon so pinagbigyan ko lang today,” and
before I proceeded to my next point, I looked at her hand and grabbed it. I could feel her cold
hands trembling so I clasped our hands together.

Wow, braver than the marines, Jhoanna Robles.

“And lastly, if you’re thinking that you’re too late… no, Aiah. You’re never too late kasi in
the first place, ikaw lang naman ang inaantay ko,” I closed my eyes for a bit, inhaling a huge
amount of air to calm my nerves.

Is this how my confession’s going to be?

“To be honest, after nung last heartbreak ko kay Nicole, I never saw myself being in a
relationship again. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayoko nang maattach kahit kanino dahil sobrang sakit
pag nawala, parang hindi ko na kakayanin pang maulit yun. Kaya I’m always keeping this
invisible wall of mine pag may napapalapit o pag may sumusubok lumapit. I mean, I do have
some fun sometimes pero it was never serious. I never let myself get attached to those
people,” I hate to admit it myself pero our first encounter at London was part of that fun. But
I never expected that she’ll be able to break my walls.

“Nung nagkita ulit tayo sa ospital dito sa Pinas, I knew something was up. I tried to ignore it
at first, thinking na coincidence lang ang lahat pero parang sadyang pinagtatagpo tayo eh.
Pero sobrang daming complications nung time na ‘yon. There’s Mikha, and the fact that I’m
one of her doctors made it a lot more complicated. So, I was at the point na I’ll just settle for
whatever it may be. Ang gusto ko lang naman, maging okay ka. Kahit yun nalang, okay na
sa’kin yon. Alam kong you need all the emotional support you can get kaya I stayed by your
side without conditions.”

Remembering all those moments, I can’t help but be emotional. A lot has happened to this
woman and I’m just so proud that she’s still here, fighting to get better each day.

“Aiah, I swear to God, wala akong plano mahulog sa’yo noon. I tried so hard to stop myself,
to the point na need ako lagi i-pep talk ni ate Gwen at ate Shar dahil litong-lito na rin ako sa
sarili ko. Minsan nga, tinatanong ko kung tama pa ba ‘yung ginagawa ko. Feeling ko lagi,
parang sinusulot kita kay Mikha kahit naman wala na kayo. The last thing I wanted is
dumagdag pa ako sa mga problema mo. Pero wala eh, iba ka talaga. Kuhang-kuha mo ako
kahit noon pa mang hindi ako aware sa nararamdaman ko. Kaya hinayaan ko nalang na
mahulog ako.”

I saw how she looked at me intensely. I’m sure she wanted to say a lot of things but at the
same time, she’s probably overwhelmed with whatever I’m saying right now.
“Pero kahit ganun pa man, I want you to prioritize yourself. I never said anything dahil gusto
ko, magfocus ka muna sa sarili mo. You don’t know how happy I was when you considered
taking therapy. Kahit alam kong lagi mong sinasabi na wala ka nang pag-asa, that you’re
broken beyond repair, I strongly believe na kaya mong makabangon muli. I’m willing to be
that person who’ll help you pick up your broken pieces while you fix yourself. Mahirap
ngayon pero hindi ka nag-iisang babangon, Aiah.”

“Jho…”

Without another word, I felt her crash her body onto mine, enclosing me in a tight hug. I felt
her head snuggled on the crook of my neck as I patted her back. I can already hear her sniffs
from my shoulder.

“Shhh, okay lang, Aiah. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”

It’s been like this for about a full minute, with her silent cries filling up the room. I can feel
her body shaking from time to time. Things must’ve been hard for her lately.

Once she let go of the hug, I immediately wiped away the tears from her cheeks. I was
worried about her not until I saw the small smile on her lips.

“Thank you for believing in me, Jho. Tama ka naman. It’s been hard lately. Parang ngayon ko
nararamdaman lahat ng stress at pagod from the past months. The moment I was not
preoccupied with work, all the thoughts suddenly clouded my mind. Sobrang ingay ng lahat.
Sobrang daming pumapasok sa utak ko. Lahat ng pwede kong maisip, naiisip ko. And as
much as I want you around me, I was hesitant to ask for help. Ayokong idamay ka sa mga
issues ko sa buhay. You already have too much on your plate to add mine. But still, you stuck
by my side, kahit pa may times na I might have pushed you away.”

This time, tears won’t stop streaming down her face. I get that everything she’s feeling right
now is probably overwhelming for her. We just started talking earlier and all of a sudden,
we’re exchanging all of our thoughts and feelings that were kept the past days, even months
maybe.
I can also feel my eyes heating up from all these emotions. So without thinking twice, I
engulfed her in a tight hug.

“Please, never think that I hate you. There might be some misunderstandings and
disappointments between us but that doesn't change the fact na I care for you so much. Ako
mismo, hindi ko kakayanin kung mawawala ka pa sa buhay ko.”

I let go of the hug to look at her. I carefully wiped away her remaining tears with my thumb
before looking at her eyes. As seconds passed by, her gaze shifted from my eyes down to my
lips, and I couldn't help but wet them with my tongue as her intense stare alone made my
mouth dry.

Slowly, the distance between our faces diminished until the tips of our noses touched. I can
feel her breath hitting my upper lip.

“Aiah…”

Are we really going for it this time? For real?

And as if hearing my question, she leaned in, capturing my lips with hers.

It was far from our last kiss. The way she moves, I can feel that she's being careful, afraid to
hurt me.

I can feel all her emotions pouring in every time her lips move on mine, as if she's speaking
to my soul even without words.

Time seemed to slow down because it felt so long before we parted our lips, both of us
gasping for air.
I was about to speak but she leaned in again, but this time, she gave a quick peck instead
which halted me in whatever I was about to say.

We could only look at each other with wide smiles on our faces.

“Ikaw haaaa!” was Yves' first words when she suddenly barged into my office.

“‘Di uso ang ‘Good morning’ sa’yo, Ricalde?”

“Kala mo, ‘di ko nakita yung kaninang umaga?”

“Ha? Sinasabi mo?” I asked her in confusion.

“Nakita kita bumaba sa driver's seat ng kotse nya kanina. And the fact na damit mo yung suot
nya, kala mo ‘di ko mapapansin?”

I suddenly remembered what transpired last night. I can't help but smile at the thought.

“Huli ka, balbon! So may nangyari nga!”

“Huy, baliw! Walang nangyari! Sa guestroom ako natulog! At ba't ba tayo nagsisigawan?
Ang OA mo talaga.”

“Ikaw ang baliw! Wala naman akong sinasabing nangyari as in nangyari. What I meant is,
nag-usap na kayo. Ikaw ‘tong OA eh. Kung anu-ano iniisip. Napaka defensive.” I could only
roll my eyes but I can't help but let a subtle smile linger on my lips.

“Yie, kinikilig si bading. So ano nga? Okay na kayo ni Ms. Arceta?”

Are we okay? Well, I guess that kiss from last night means something. It also wasn't awkward
this morning during our drive. In fact…

flashback…

“Jho, it's okay. You don't have to drive. Pinagluto mo na nga akong breakfast eh.”

“I insist, please. Ihahatid naman talaga dapat kita kaso nasa hospital pa sasakyan ko so at
least let me drive for you. Pambawi na rin sa ilang weeks na ‘di kita naihatid,” I argued.
Before that fight, I used to drive her to her work before I went to the hospital.

“Hmmm, you know what? Hindi ka rin naman magpapatalo so I'll let you. BUT let me treat
you to lunch after my therapy, okay?”

Is this her way of asking me out for lunch?

“Deal!”

“You know…”
“Hmm?” I quickly looked at her before looking back at the road.

“One thing I like about my car is that it's automatic,” she said. I glanced at the shifter
briefly. It's the second time I got to drive her car.

“Ayaw mo ba ng manual?” I asked. My truck’s a manual so I'd feel offended if she says
something bad about it.

“Hindi naman. It's just that with matic, I get to do this…” I was about to ask when I felt her
left hand on my right hand, clasping our hands together in the process.

I'm pretty sure I was smiling widely the whole drive going to the hospital.

“Tingnan mo ‘tong si bading, ngiting-ngiti na naman. Hindi na ako sinagot.”

“Ba’t kita sasagutin? Nanliligaw ka ba? Sorry, Ricalde pero ‘di kita type.”

“Alam mo, ‘wag mo na ako kausapin. Nakakairita kang kausap pag masaya.”

I can't help but burst out laughing as she walks out of my office, probably already annoyed.

“Bago kita layasan, saan tayo mag lunch later? Sweldo naman so sarapan naman natin
pagkain natin.”

“Sorry, I have plans already. Lunch out kami ni Aiah,” I answered, still with that teasing
smile on my face.
“Hay nako! Bakit pa nga ba ako nagtanong. Sige, mamuhay kang masaya dyan, Robles,” she
said before leaving my office.

NO ONE'S POV

Jhoanna stretched out from her seat after closing the last patient's chart for the morning. It has
been a slow day so far, thankfully, and she's pretty excited about lunch.

She glanced at the clock on her desk. Only ten minutes until Aiah's done with her session.

She went out of her office and saw Yves walking in the same direction as her.

“Papunta ka ring Psych dept, no?” Yves asked in a teasing tone.

“Sus, kala mo naman s'ya, hindi.”

“Aba, natural. Jowa ko pupuntahan ko. Sabay kasi kami maglalunch. Eh ikaw?”

“A-ano, ako rin naman. Pupuntahan ko si Aiah. Sabay rin kami maglalunch.”

“Yiee, puntahan mo jowa-jowaan mo?” she was immediately answered with a hard slap on
her arm. “Aray, grabe mapanakit naman po.”
“Ano ba natira mo at trip na trip mo akong pagtripan?”

“Hahaha wala lang. Ang saya ng mga reactions mo, sarap mong asarin. At bakit, ayaw mo ba
maging jowa si Aiah?”

“Syempre, gus—” she wasn’t able to finish her words when the door finally opened,
revealing the person they were talking about just a few moments ago.

Aiah was surprised to see the two doctors outside Maki’s clinic. “You're here! You could've
waited for me sa office mo nalang sana para ‘di ka nakatayo dyan.”

“Sumabay lang din ako dito kay Doc Yves since papunta rin naman s'ya dito,” she reasoned
out coolly but she could hear snickers from the other doctor.

“Uy, doc Jho! Saan tayo kain today?” Maki asked upon seeing the two, clueless of what was
happening.

“Ay nako, hindi natin yan kasabay today. May date yan eh. Kaya tayo rin, lunch date muna
tayo. Hayaan na natin yang si doc Jho. Nagdadalaga na yan,” Yves continued, still with her
teasing tone. It's obvious that Maki's clueless as hell.

“O… kay? Sige, doc Jho, mauna na kami ni Loi! Ingat ka rin, Ms. Arceta!”

Once the two were out of sight, Aiah looked at Jhoanna with a confused face.

“Are those two…”

“Yep, magjowa yung dalawang yun. Apparently, since residency days pa pala namin. Nag
LDR lang sila before since nag Canada si Doc Maki.”
“Ohhh, no wonder nakikita ko sila minsan during the mornings. I also noticed that they're
drinking the same coffee sometimes.”

“Cute naman sila. Doc Maki's a great guy so I'm happy na going strong pa rin sila.”

“Yeah, he's also good in his field. He's been a lot of help for me. Very professional din.”

The two walked side by side going to the exit.

“Wait lang, Jho. Cr lang ako saglit.” Jhoanna responded with a nod.

Now left alone, she waited by the nurse's station nearby. The nearest toilet's a bit far from
where she is so she knows Aiah might take a while.

She was happily conversing with some of the nurses when a voice called her.

“Doc Jho!” Adie jogged his way towards her with a smile plastered on his face.

“Uy, hello, doc Adie. What's up?”

“Uh, ano lang. I was just about to grab lunch pero nakita kita dito. Ask lang sana kita if
naglunch ka na and if not, can I invite you to have lunch with me? My treat, of course. I was
actually looking for you earlier sa dept nyo kaso the nurses said you left with doc Ricalde na
raw.”

Jhoanna smiled apologetically, “Ohh… uhm, that's nice of you to ask pero—”

“What do you wanna eat pala, love? You can order anything you want. Ako na bahala,” Aiah
didn't let Jhoanna finish whatever she's saying. That, and the younger’s just too stunned to
speak when she felt the older's hand wrapped around her own, and hearing how Aiah called
her.

“O-oh, may plans ka na pala?” Adie asked in surprise and confusion, not forgetting to steal a
glance at their joint hands.

“Yeah, I already made plans. Pasensya na.”

“It's okay. How about dinner?”

“Uhm—”

“Sa bahay ka na rin mag dinner later. I'll cook your favorite,” Aiah immediately interjected,
giving the cardiologist a quick look before shifting her attention to her favorite doctor, not
forgetting that little smirk of hers.

“Sorry, some other time, maybe?” Jhoanna looked at him apologetically, knowing full well
that there wouldn't be a next time anymore after whatever stunt Aiah pulled. She needs to ask
her about that later.

“O-okay. Enjoy your lunch, doc Jho,” and the doctor skedaddled away from the two before
any further embarrassment.

“Ano yun?” Jhoanna asked immediately once she had fastened her seatbelt. She insisted on
using her car this time.

“Ang alin?” Aiah asked innocently.

“‘Wag ako, Aiah. Alam mo tinutukoy ko.” Jhoanna’s not mad. In fact, there’s a hint of
excitement in her when Aiah did whatever she did earlier. She’s just confused with the
sudden action from the older.

“Ahhhh, yung kanina ba nung kausap ka nung guy?”

“Oo?”

“Ahhh… wala lang. You’re not making things clear eh so I made it clear for him.”

Right, she hadn’t talked to him yet.

“Well, mukhang nalinawan naman na s’ya. Calling me love in front of him?”

Her eyes widened. Looks like even she didn’t notice it earlier.

“Oh my god, I didn't realize. I'm so—”

“Ano ka ba, okay lang yun. Sa’yo naman nanggaling eh.”

“Kinilig ka ba?” her loud, obnoxious laugh echoed inside the car’s cabin.

“Wala na. Lalaki na ulo nyan,” Jhoanna shook her head jokingly which earned her a slap in
the arm.

“Sus, kinilig ka lang eh. But I meant what I said earlier. I'll cook your favorite. Dinner tayo.”
“Ms. Arceta asking me out on a date for the second time? Napakaswerte ko naman atang
nilalang.”

“Ewan ko sa’yo, Jho. Mag drive ka na lang dyan.”

Lunch was eventful. They spent the entire time catching up on lost moments about each
other's happenings in life. It's also the perfect opportunity to visit their friend.

“Grabe, akala ko kinalimutan nyo na ako. Tagal ko kayong ‘di nakita eh. Nagmadali ako
pumunta nung sinabi ng staff ko na andito raw kayo,” Gwen pouted at the two. They're
currently at Gwen’s restaurant and since she has finally hired a trusted chef, she’s able to do
errands outside the restaurant.

“Sorry na, ate Gwen. Medyo na-busy lang din and maraming ganap. Onting
misunderstandings here and there but all good.”

“Ay nakong bata ka, nakwento nga ni Shar mga nangyari lately,” she then looked at Aiah,
“and ikaw naman, let's meet up with Shar one of these days. ‘Di raw kagandahan first meet
up nyo eh.”

“We met already?” she asked in confusion.

“Oh, see? ‘Di mo ng alam na nag meet na kayo eh.”

“Nung one time na nag pass out ka sa bar. S'ya nagbantay sa'yo habang inaantay ako.”
“OMG SERYOSO BA?!”

“Don't worry, she’s not judging you naman. I already explained the situation. In fact, she’s
already excited to meet you properly. Set na natin yan, tas ‘wag natin isama si Jho para
mabackstab natin.”

“Grabe, ate Gwen? Mahal na mahal nyo naman talaga ako,” the two could only laugh at the
poor doctor.

“Ay, ‘te Gwen, sino pala yung bagong chef nyo? In fairness, masarap magluto. Kala ko nga
ikaw nagluto eh not until sinabi ng staff nyo na lumabas ka nga raw.”

“Ahhh, si chef Z. Friend s'ya ni Shar na pinakilala sa’kin. Dating dentist pero pinursue
pagiging chef after some time. Mag-oopen kasi kami bagong branch kaya dami ko rin
inaasikaso. Sakto rin naman nabangggit ni Shar na may friend s'yang naghahanap ng
maaapplyan as chef.”

“Hala, congrats! Grabe parang kailan lang nung kumakanta pa ako dito tapos ngayon, mag-
oopen ka na ng bagong branch.”

“At dahil dyan, invite ko na kayong dalawa sa opening next month. And ikaw, Jho, kakanta
ka, ha? Regalo mo na sa’kin oh.”

“HALA? Bakit ako?” she definitely didn’t expect that request. She was about to retaliate
more when she felt a hand on her arm.

“Come on, Jho. It’s been a while since I’ve heard you sing. And I’m sure namimiss mo na
rin. I’ll be there naman,” Aiah gave her the sweetest smile that even Gwen knew there and
then that Jhoanna wouldn’t be able to resist.

“Fine. Libre food ha!”

“Sus, maliit na bagay. Sagot ko na kayo sa opening. Invite mo na rin mga doctor friends mo.
Ikaw rin, Aiah. You can invite your friends din. Ako na bahala sa inyo.”

“Pasok ka ba sa work after this?” Jhoanna asked while driving.

“Yep. No need to fetch me later since dala ko car ko. Deretso ka na rin pala sa house later
after ng shift mo.”

“So totoo nga yung invite mo kanina?”

“Ang kulit. Sabing totoo nga eh. And don’t judge my cooking. I’ve improved na. You can ask
Staku about that. Ay, speaking of Staku. I should call her pala. Invite ko s’ya for the resto
opening.”

A few moments later, Stacey answered Aiah’s call.

“What’s up, girl?”

“Staks, you remember Gwen? The owner of Bon Appetea?”

“S’ya ba yung nagdedeliver ng food minsan nung naka-confine pa si Mikhs?”

“Yeah, Jho’s friend.”

“Yep, tanda ko pa naman. What’s up?”

“She’s inviting us for the opening of her second branch.”

“Ohhh nice! Kelan daw?”

“Next month daw opening.”

There was a few moments of silence before Stacey answered back.

“Uhm… ate Aiah, can I talk to you pala later after work? Punta ako sa apartment mo. May
need ako sabihin.”

“Later?”

Aiah looked at Jhoanna, since they already had a planned dinner for later but Jhoanna smiled
and nodded, telling Aiah it was fine.

“Okay lang, Aiah. Tagal ko na rin di nakikita si Staku eh.”

“Sure?”

“Yep, it’s fine.”

Aiah went back to her phone, “Okay, punta ka nalang apartment later. I’ll be cooking since
Jho’s coming also.”
“Okay, see you later, ‘te.”

Once the call has ended, Aiah can’t help but look at her phone.

“Hmm, parang may something off kay Staku.”

“Huh? Bakit?”

“Nung sinabi kong next month yung opening, ‘di na nya sinagot tanong ko eh. She just asked
if we can talk later kaya punta s'yang bahay.”

Jhoanna might have an idea but she decided to keep it to herself for now. Who knows, she
might be wrong. Well, she hopes she’s wrong.

She was right.

“I’m sorry talaga, ate Aiah. Sobrang tagal kong pinag-isipan kung tatanggapin ko, pero the
offer’s just too good to pass up.”

The two friends are now hugging each other with tear-stained cheeks. Jhoanna’s hunch was
right. Stacey finally made her decision.

“Ano ka ba, Staks. There’s no need for you to apologize. You got the offer kasi magaling ka.
And you definitely deserve that break.”
“P-pero kasi… how about you? Shee’s still in college so busy pa yun. Ayaw kitang iwan pero
—”

“Like I said, I’ll manage. Sa ngayon, i-prioritize mo sarili mo. I’m sure matagal mo rin
hinintay ‘tong opportunity na ‘to so go grab it. I’ll be fine, Staks. I promise.”

“Don’t worry, Staku. Ako na bahala kay Aiah. Rest assured hindi ko s’ya pababayaan.”

Stacey stood up and proceeded to hug the doctor as well. She already mentioned this briefly
to the doctor before but now that she’s finally made her decision, she’s sure it’s also sad for
the doctor as well.

“Thank you ulit, Doc Jho. Alam kong hindi mo na dapat ito responsibility pero you’re still
here, willing to help. Super thankful ako ngayon pa lang and I hope hindi mo pabayaan si
ate.”

“‘Wag mo na alalahanin si Aiah. You should look out for yourself more pag-alis mo. Pero
I’m sure your ate will definitely miss you. I will miss you as well, Stacey.”

“Oh s’ya, enough with the tears! Lalamig na yung niluto ko. Kain na tayo, guys. Masarap ‘to,
promise.” Aiah prepared the dish she cooked at the dining table, with the two helping out
with the plates.

“Ay wow, nag-improve na nga— Aray!”

“Sabi nang don’t judge eh!”

“Ay nako, Doc. Ginawa nyang coping mechanism pagluluto simula nung nilait ko omelette
nya. In fairness naman, laki nga ng improvement.”
 “Isa ka pa, Staks!”

Despite the news Stacey brought up, the night ended with laughter and tears as they talked
about a lot of things that they had missed from each other’s recent happenings. It’s been a
long while since they’re able to gather like this and this is the perfect time to look back at all
the things that have happened to them. And Jhoanna could only hope for a better tomorrow
for all of them once Stacey embarks on her new journey, especially for Aiah, once one of her
pillars of support finally leaves.

##

Chapter End Notes

It's been a while since my last update I know hahahuhu (daming nangyari sa life lately
tbh)
Dami ring nangyari sa chapter na 'to so it's a tie

Will conclude this story by this week. (real na 'to)

(Dun sa nagbasa ng RV version ng story na 'to, this chapter is new haha wala 'to sa RV
version :p)
 A New Canvas
Chapter Summary

There's no turning back for Stacey after she signed the contract. What will happen once
she leaves the country?

Chapter Notes

This chapter focuses on Stacey's journey after leaving the PH. And a little bit more.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A NEW CANVAS

If Stacey Sevilleja were to be asked if she's ever been an impulsive person, she can
confidently say that she always, ALWAYS, thinks carefully first before deciding on
something.

Well, she can add an exception now as she reads the contract she had just signed without
going through the whole document twice just to make sure that there are no hidden fine prints
somewhere.

Actually, she thought about it hard. In fact, it took her a few weeks before she told her
employer that she'd take the job. But the details were still incomplete. It was just a few hours
ago when things were finalized and the printed contract was handed to her. It's also the first
time she learned where she'll be headed. And the moment she read which country, she didn't
hesitate to sign that contract.
"Great! Ia-arrange na agad ng company yung flight mo. Pa-send nalang kami ng copy ng
passport at isang valid ID mo and kami na ang bahala sa visa and ticket. Email nalang namin
sa’yo once okay na lahat ng papers mo,” the woman in front of her smiles as she retrieves the
signed contract from Stacey’s hand.

The next thing she knew, she was face to face with her best friend, both of them with red eyes
and noses from the crying session they had earlier.

“Sure ka bang okay lang talaga sa’yo, ate Aiah?”

The latter nodded with a smile. “Staku, you’ve been a great support for me for the past years.
Sobra pa sa sobra ang nagawa mo para sa pagkakaibigan natin kaya ngayon, it’s time to do
things for yourself, okay? Don’t mind me here. I’m doing good with work and besides…” she
looked sideways shyly, to the doctor sitting not too far from them, “Jho’s here to help me.”

As much as Stacey wants to protest, even she knows to herself that she wants this. Aside
from a lot of better opportunities, she knows deep down why she wanted to take the offer.

“Besides, Australia’s not that far away naman, di ‘ba? And there’s this thing called video call,
so pag namimiss mo ako and gusto mo chumika, I’m just an app away.”

She could only nod in agreement. Why was she so worried, anyway? Aiah worked overseas
before so this is not something new.

But maybe it’s the fact that she could see her friend in a difficult situation right now, that it’s
making her think twice. There have been several times wherein Aiah would call her out of the
blue during late nights, just crying without any words. She understands, of course, so she
doesn’t ask. She’s just so glad that Jhoanna’s also there to look out for Aiah. And the doctor
has been keeping her promise of being there for her friend so far.

“Tama na ang pag-aalala. You’re Stacey Sevilleja! You’re born confident!” Aiah teases her as
she hits her arm lightly. “Let me help you pack. Your flight’s the day after tomorrow, di ‘ba?”
“‘Di ko pa talaga naaabsorb ang mga nangyari. Parang bigla ko nalang pinirmahan yung
contract tas nakalimutan ko na s’ya. Naalala ko nalang nung ini-email ng company sa’kin last
week plane ticket ko!”

Aiah could only laugh, "And I am guessing hindi mo binasa nang ayos yung contract, no?"

"Well…"

The older gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry too much. I heard Luminance Studio is a
great company and I'm sure you'd do great. So, make me proud out there, okay?"

"Syempre naman. Ako pa."

---

It took a while for Stacey to adjust. Thankfully, she had no troubles in terms of work. But of
course, being there all alone on a completely different continent can really be lonely at times.

It doesn't help that she's restraining herself from bugging Aiah, knowing that her friend's still
in the healing process. She had several breakdowns from time to time, some down days here
and there, according to Jhoanna. She's just thankful that the doctor kept her promise of
staying in touch and through her, she gets updates about her friend from time to time.

Of course, she can't miss out on the fact that Jhoanna seems to be getting bolder in showing
her feelings for her friend. She can tell that the two have been growing closer and closer to
each other as time passes by. The way Jhoanna talks about Aiah is solid proof.
And with that, she discovered a new hobby to kill time whenever she's at home.

It's Saturday morning and as much as she wants to stay at home, her supplies are starting to
run out. And besides, she needs to go to her favorite art store to fetch some materials.

Checking the remaining tubes of paint, she listed down the colors she needed to buy. She also
noted that all her canvases are used up.

Painting isn't really her strong point. But she picked up the hobby way back during high
school when it was just her and Mikha. The latter would always pull her to attend painting
sessions, or even do art sessions from time to time. It's just a bit disappointing that she was so
focused purely on photography that she hasn't held a paintbrush in years. But right now, she's
starting to pick up on the hobby again and she’d willingly go through the pain of a long
commute to the nearest art store which is about an hour and a half away.

The store’s bell rang when she pushed the door open. The young woman behind the counter
smiled at her and greeted her with a good morning.

As she looked around, she noticed some of the shelves being empty. Stocks usually arrive
during Mondays so it’s no wonder some items are running low on stock.

Fortunately for her, all the colors that she needs are available. She also grabbed some extra
fine brushes when she saw them on sale.

“Hmm, what else…” As she looked around, she finally found the last item on her list.

She was about to grab it when another figure approached the said item.
“Oh, sorry, are you about to get that?”

Hearing that familiar voice, she can’t help but turn her head towards the direction of the
speaker.

“Kuya Renzo?!” she asked in surprise.

“Staku?” Renzo asked, unsure. Stacey’s wearing a mask and a cap which hid her face pretty
well.

“Yes, ako nga!” she then proceeded to remove her mask, smiling at the man.

“Woah, ‘di ko inexpect na makikita kita dito. I was about to contact you and was thinking of
meeting up with you.”

Now, this got Stacey confused.

“What do you mean?”

It then occurred to Renzo that Stacey probably had no idea that he knew.

“Ahhh ano kasi. Nabanggit ni Doc Robles na andito ka nga sa Australia. Though wala pa
akong idea na andito ka rin pala sa Perth. I was planning on calling and meeting up with you
some time but here we are, meeting here in an art store instead.”

So Doc Robles told him, huh…

“Well, hindi ko rin naman alam saan kayo dito sa Australia. And besides, kay Doc Robles at
ate Aiah lang ako may contact sa Pinas so…”

Renzo chuckled. He won’t say but Jhoanna kinda told him part of the reasons why Stacey
decided to fly to Australia.

“Though I got to be honest, ‘di ko talaga inexpect na makita kita dito sa Perth. I thought nasa
Melbourne kayo?”

When Stacey heard where the job offer was, she hesitated for a bit. One part of her was afraid
that she might face her old best friend again. Although to be honest, she has no news about
her. She’s not sure if Mikha’s even alive at that point. And that’s also what she’s afraid of.
What if once she gets there, it’s already too late? As much as she’s afraid to face her old best
friend, another part of her is wishing that she’ll be able to see the woman again, breathing and
alive.

And for her to meet Mikha’s brother here, she sure didn’t expect that.

“Lumipat kami a month ago after kami irefer sa isang well-known PT dito sa Perth.”

Stacey only nodded.

Crazy coincidence, indeed.

“Kukunin mo ba yan?” Renzo pointed towards the lone canvas sitting prettily on the shelf.

“That’s the last stock, unfortunately, I’m afraid it’ll take a while before we’ll be able to
restock that. The warehouse called up and the supplier shipment got delayed,” one of the
store assistants informed them.

Stacey and Renzo then looked at each other.

It’s the only art store in the area and there’s no other place to buy a new canvas at the
moment.

“Kunin mo na, Staku.”

“Talaga?”

Renzo just shrugged his shoulders, “mukhang may plano ka na rin naman gawin so kunin mo
na,” he said, pointing at the basket with paint tubes and brushes that Stacey was holding.

“Okay then…”

They paid for the items and left the store together. Stacey doesn’t really know where to go
from here. Well, she should be heading home, dropping by a bakery or something along the
way but there’s this feeling that she wanted to talk to Renzo more.

And fortunately, it seems the same for the latter.

“Do you have some time to spare?” he asked.

“Wala naman ako gagawin today so I guess free naman ako.”

“Great! Gusto mo ba mag coffee or something?”

They ended up in a cafe downtown. Stacey hasn’t really toured around the city so a change of
environment felt good for her.
“Have you been here before?” Renzo asked as he settled their food on the table.

“‘Di pa ako nakakaikot ng Perth ever since I arrived. Wala rin ako kakilala dito.”

Renzo only nodded.

They proceeded to eat their food, but there were a lot of questions in Stacey’s mind that she
wanted to ask.

She then remembered something from what Renzo mentioned earlier.

Referred to a PT? So does that mean….

“Pwede ka namang magtanong,” Renzo nonchalantly said as he sipped on his coffee.

“Huh?”

“Kanina ka pa nakatingin sa’kin as if you wanna ask questions. Go on. Sasagutin ko. I know
marami kang tanong.”

She can’t believe she’s being obvious. She could only laugh at herself.

“How… is she?” Stacey asked carefully. She doesn’t really know the specific question to ask,
so she started with something vague.

“She’s doing alright. Malaking tulong yung ni-recommend nilang PT dito, though it’s
undeniable na malaki talaga yung damage na nadulot nung accident nya. Her body could only
do so much,” Renzo said with sadness in his tone. Now, this got Stacey more curious.

“Anong ibig sabihin mo?”

Instead of a straight answer, Renzo heaved a sigh.

“Buhay naman s'ya. Pero may mga bagay na irreversible. Na-damage spine nya so yung right
leg nya, wala na talaga.”

On one hand, Stacey’s actually glad to know that Mikha’s still alive and breathing, but
learning that there are permanent damages here and there, she can’t help but feel bad.

“Kamusta nung unang pumunta kayo dito sa Australia?”

“Ay, grabe yun. Muntik na’kong mabaliw. Two weeks pa bago s’ya nagising mula paglapag
namin dito. Akala talaga namin, na-coma ulit si Mikhs. Pero nung nagising naman s’ya, after
several checkups, the doctors gave us a thumbs up na she’s on the road to recovery.”

“Alam ba ni Doc Robles yun?”

Renzo nodded.

“Yeah, given na s’ya unang doktor ni Mikha sa Pinas, so pinaalam din sa kanya. Though I’m
guessing wala s’yang namention sa inyo ni Aiah, no?”

Hmm, no wonder Doc Robles looked stressed at that moment.

“Well, si ate Aiah na mismo nagsabi na ayaw muna nyang makarining ng kahit ano tungkol
kay Mikhs so I guess kaya hindi rin ako sinabihan ni Doc since lagi kami magkasama ni ate
Aiah that time.”

Renzo chuckled a bit, “wow, nakakabaliw din siguro sa part ni Doc Robles. Imagine ang
dami nang nagyayari pero kailangan nya itago sa inyo.”

“Trust me, grabe talaga yang si Doc. Hindi ko rin alam paano nya kami namanage ni ate
Aiah.”

They continued with the food, with both of them talking about mundane things around them.

“Dami mo atang free time, kuya. Saan na si Mikhs ngayon?” Stacey can’t help but notice
how Renzo seems to be not in a rush or anything.

“May therapy s’ya ngayon. I have to pick her up in thirty minutes though.”

It’s nice to hear that Mikha’s making progress. But of course, she can’t deny the fact that
she’s curious and she wanted to see with her own eyes the older woman in the flesh, as much
as she initially wanted to leave their memories behind.

“Pwede ka namang sumama sa’kin mamaya,” Renzo casually added with a small smile. She
can see through Stacey what she wanted to ask but she knows the woman’s mind is in
shambles right now.

“Okay lang talaga?” Stacey asked. She doesn’t wanna cause any shock to the poor woman if
ever.

“I’m sure matutuwa yun. Umay na umay na siguro yun sa’kin kaya lagi akong tinatarayan.
Baka matuwa-tuwa naman yun pag nakakita ng ibang mukha.”
They’re still the same. I can’t believe it.

“Sige. Sama ako”

---

Renzo drove downtown with Stacey on the shotgun seat, with her eyes stuck on the view
from the window.

“So, nag-iisa ka lang?”

“Yeah. Kaso medyo pricey yung pinagsstayan ko ngayon so naghahanap ako ng malilipatan
na medyo mura. Saks lang din kasi sinesweldo ko.”

“Saan ka nga ulit nagwowork?”

“Luminance. Medyo malapit s’ya sa apartment ko.”

Renzo nodded. “Alright. Balitaan kita pag may nakita akong place.”

A few minutes later, they entered a hospital parking lot.

“We’re here. Ready ka na ba?” the driver asked as he looked at Stacey.

She took a deep breath before smiling.

“Tara?”

---

“S-Staku?!”

Wide eyes greeted her the moment their eyes met.

“Hi, dumb dumb,” Stacey smiled. She didn’t mean to tease her but she can’t help it. She did
promise to give her a piece of her mind once Mikha’s fully awake.

Renzo could only snort on the side upon hearing Stacey’s words.

“Wha… what are you doing here?!” Stacey can’t help but laugh at the still dumbfounded
woman in front of her.

Some things never really change, or maybe, some things return to how they really were.

“Well, mapayapa akong nag-iikot kanina sa art store nang may makita akong panget bigla.
Kaya ayun, andito ako ngayon,” Stacey answered while looking at Renzo.

“Huh?” Mikha looked at the two alternately. But that’s not exactly the answer she’s looking
for.
“No, I-I mean… here in Australia. Why are you here?”

Because of you, stupid.

“May job offer sakin. Ganda ng bigayan. Syempre, tatanggihan ko ba?”

Stacey has to admit. She thought that the moment they saw each other eye to eye, painful
memories from the past would pour down on her. But the thought of facing the woman’s
lifeless face scared her more.

But now that she was standing in front of the very woman who was the cause of their painful
memories the past months, sporting a tiny smile on her calm face, everything felt surreal for
her.

The pain that she was expecting to resurface never came. The fear that she’s anticipating
never occurred.

Seeing Mikha’s eyes like how they were a decade ago lifts her spirit. It’s completely different
from the eyes that stared at her whenever she had to drag her out of the bar, wasted. It’s
completely different from the pair of eyes who lost her parents years ago.

This is the old Mikha whom she fell in love with when they were teens.

“So, you’re living here? In Perth?”

Mikha’s voice brought her back to reality. She suddenly felt conscious as she was probably
staring at her all these times.
Stacey nodded.

“My brother never told me that you’re here. Kelan ka pa dumating?”

“About a month ago.”

Mikha then looked at her brother suspiciously.

“Do you know about this?”

Renzo shook her head immediately. “No! Nalaman ko lang nung isang araw. I didn’t really
expect na magkikita kami today. Bibilhin ko lang sana yung bilin mong canvas at paint tubes
pero nakita ko s’ya sa store.”

Canvas?

“Nagpepaint ka na ulit?” she asked curiously. Renzo mentioned it earlier but hearing it from
Mikha hits differently. She could see the glee on her face as she answered her.

“Yeah. It gave me peace of mind and it felt like my old self so I started painting again.
Sobrang thankful lang ako na okay pa mga braso ko. My leg, however...” she paused before
looking at her limp right leg.

“Sabi naman nung therapist, malakas yung left leg mo. Soon enough, kakayanin mo nang
tumayo and mag crutch nalang para ‘di ka na naka wheelchair,” Renzo said, trying to cheer
his sister up.

“I really hope so…”

---

The afternoon ended with Renzo driving Stacey back to her apartment first before heading
home. They agreed to meet up again sometime together with Mikha when it’s not her therapy
session schedule.

“Thanks for the ride. See you soon! Ingat ka, kuya Renzo.”

“Sure, thank you, Staku. See you some other time!”

As Stacey was about to open the door, she remembered the huge rectangular material in her
hand.

“Here,” she said as she gave the canvas to Mikha.

“Last stock na yan so walang nabili si kuya Renzo. Pero I think mas magagamit mo s’ya kesa
sakin,” Stacey said with a soft smile. She can see Mikha’s mouth forming another smile
reflecting hers. She can’t deny the twinkle in the latter’s eyes.

“Really?”

Stacey nodded happily.

“Thank you so much! I was really looking forward to painting after my therapy, that's why I
asked kuya to buy me a new canvas.”
Seeing the joyous smile on Mikha’s face, she can’t help but remember the conversations he
had with Renzo earlier.

“After waking up and getting back on her feet, the first thing she asked me was to buy her
painting materials. I don’t know kung kelan s’ya last nagpaint pero seeing the look on her
face, namiss ko yung ganung version nya,” Renzo told Stacey as they talked about the
former’s sister.

“Last time na nagpaint s’ya was before your parents passed away. After nung incident na
yun, nawalan na rin s’ya ng buhay. As I said, she changed into a completely different person
after that.” She knows that it was one of Mikha’s hobbies that kept her happy so the moment
she stopped doing it, she knew that there was already something wrong.

“Woah, so ganun na pala katagal, no? But I’m glad that she’s trying to get back on it again.
Every time nagpepaint s’ya, parang ang saya-saya nya. Sabi rin nung therapist nya, malaki
naitutulong netong hobby nya sa recovery nya.”

With that thought, Stacey can’t help but feel glad that somehow, it seems like Mikha’s trying
to return to her old, cheerful self, which is a good sign.

“I’m glad you found your happiness again, Mikhs. I’m genuinely happy for you.”

---

The month was about to end and she still hadn’t found a cheaper place that wasn’t too far
from her work.
“Shet, nasstress na’ko.”

As she was lying on her bed while pondering her decisions in life, her phone suddenly rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Staku. It’s Renzo. I forgot to ask for your number last time so hiningi ko kay Doc
Robles.”

Of course, no wonder they haven’t met again after that art store incident. They forgot to
exchange contacts.

Great, Stacey. Great.

“Okay lang naman, I don’t mind. What’s up?”

“Are you free today? Mikha has no therapy session for the day so I was wondering kung
gusto mo makipag-meet up.”

It’s Saturday again and fortunately, she has no plan in mind at the moment, well, except for
looking for another apartment.

“Well, aside from apartment hunting, libre naman ako. Let’s meet at lunch?”

“Sounds great! See you then!”

---
“Staku!” she heard Renzo’s voice not too far from the entrance. Looking at his direction, she
saw the siblings smiling at her, waving their arms.

“Glad you could make it, Staks,” Mikha greeted with a smile.

“Wala rin naman akong lakad so here I am. Buti tumawag ka.”

The lunch went by smoothly, with Stacey telling some stories about work and stuff. As they
were running out of topics, Mikha hesitantly called Stacey’s attention.

“Staks?”

“Hm?”

The younger could tell that there was something in Mikha’s mind that she was thinking twice
about saying. So she gave her an encouraging smile to continue.

“How is she?” Of course, this question will pop up soon, Stacey thought.

“Yung totoo?” she paused for a bit. No point in lying about the truth anyway, as much as she
knows this might make Mikha feel bad. “Mahirap para kay sa kanya, to the point that she
isolated herself again. Well, hindi pa ulit kami masyado nakakapag-usap recently. Nakiki-
update nalang ako kay Doc Jho. Pero tinatry naman nya maging okay each day. Matagal man
pero she’s healing bit by bit.”

“Oh…”
As expected, Mikha’s cheerful expression turned upside down upon hearing what Stacey
said.

“Uy, ‘wag mo na damdamin masyado. Hindi mo kasalanan ang nangyari. Lahat naman tayo,
may pinagdadaanan so ‘wag mo na sisihin sarili mo, okay? Besides, andun naman si Doc Jho.
Sure akong magiging okay din si ate Aiah.”

It took a few minutes before Mikha spoke, with a tiny smile on her face.

“Please thank Doc Robles for me.”

“Onaman! Ang galing kaya nya mag-alaga sa’yo.”

But Mikha shook her head, “it’s not that. Please thank her for keeping her promise to me.”

Stacey’s eyebrow rose. She has no idea about that.

“Magegets na n’ya yun. Just send her my thanks, okay? She’ll know what it’s about.”

Knowing that she’d probably never know, Stacey gave her a reassuring smile. “Sure, of
course.”

Another minute of silence later and Renzo suddenly spoke as if a light bulb lit up inside his
brain.

“Sabi mo, naghahanap ka ng lilipatan, di ‘ba?”

“Well, yeah. Patapos na contract ko and wala na ako plano mag renew dun.”
“Great! I have a proposal.”

Now, both Mikha and Stacey looked at him.

“You see, medyo malaki naman yung bahay namin since dalawa lang kami. And may spare
room pa sa bahay so I was thinking that maybe you want to, you know, live with us?”

It’s obvious that Mikha has no idea about this, judging from the way her eyes suddenly
opened wide.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure! Besides, malapit lang yung bahay namin sa workplace mo so hindi mo na
poproblemahin transpo. Pinaka magiging share mo nalang is yung sa monthly expenses natin.
Yun lang!”

Stacey was about to answer but then, she looked at him suspiciously.

“Hmmm, bakit feeling ko, naghahanap ka lang ng makakatulong kay Mikhs?”

“Huh?” the confused woman looked at both of them back and forth.

Renzo could only heave a sigh, “Fine! You got me. Ang hirap din kaya minsan lalo na’t
babae s'ya. Alam mo yun, may mga bagay na awkward pag tutulungan ko s’ya. So I thought
that maybe you’ll be able to help me with that part.”

Stacey pondered for a bit. For one, she has known these two since childhood so the
awkwardness isn’t really an issue for her. Second, Renzo’s got a point. She’s pretty sure
Mikha wouldn’t want her brother helping her get dressed or something so she probably does
these things on her own. Third, she’ll definitely save hella cash if she goes with it. No
monthly rent except for her share of expenses. The place is just one ride away from her
office, as per Renzo.

Besides, having friends around won’t be so lonely.

“So, do you agree with my proposal?”

“Wait, why didn’t I know about this?” Mikha protested from the side but her brother just
shrugged her off.

“Oh stop whining, grumpy. I know gusto mo rin yung idea”

“Uh, well yeah, but-”

“See? No problem with us so nasa sa’yo nalang, Staku, kung iaccept mo or hindi.”

I wonder what would ate Aiah think if she found out that I'm living with the Lims, she
thought.

“Walang hidden agenda? Like, no surprise rental fee at the end of the month?”

“No! None of that. Kung gusto mo, mag draft pa tayo ng contract para sure na sure. Hati lang
tayo sa monthly bills then tulungan mo ako kay Mikhs. Yun lang.”

“Okay, then.”

Mikha turned her head towards her, “Talaga?!”

Despite being surprised herself, Stacey noticed the small smile on Mikha's face.

Does this mean she likes the idea then?

“Kung okay lang naman sa'yo, e di G na ako. Kapal ko naman kung magreklamo pa ako.”

Who would’ve thought that she’d really end up living with Mikha? She’s pretty sure she
didn’t think of that. Fate really is something.

Renzo clapped his hands at the done deal. “Great! Tara, hakutin na natin gamit mo!”

---

If there’s something Stacey regrets from the past weeks, it’s probably losing communication
with her friends back in the Philippines. Too much has happened that the things in front of
her are already enough to keep her hands full.

Firstly, work has become hectic, especially after the collaboration with a New York-based
magazine. There were times when she had to fly to New York and stay there for about two
weeks, which was taxing for her of course. Adjusting to Australia would have been hard for
her if it wasn’t for the Lim siblings who helped her tremendously. But the people in NYC
were completely different. Also, the time difference is literally night and day so that’s another
thing she struggled about.

And another thing. Mikha.

It’s been two years since she’s living with them. Everything went smoothly as planned.
Renzo’s in charge of Mikha’s therapies and bringing her around, while Stacey’s in charge of
more personal stuff for Mikha like helping her go to the bathroom, getting dressed, or in
short, she’s the one who’s always beside her.

That, and they became painting buddies again. A lot of their bonding time has been spent in
Mikha’s makeshift studio, but half of the time, they just smear paint on each other.

---

Another day at the same art store, she’s back to buying some canvases again. Mikha asked
her to buy one for her also so she thinks this long-ass drive is worth it.

“Ooh, that’s the last one, miss. I’m terribly sorry. The frame also has a slight crack on the
edge but with some reinforcements, it won’t be a problem.” It was the same assistant again,
giving her an apologetic smile.

“When will you restock again?”

“I’m afraid it’ll take some time. There were issues with the shipment from the supplier
again.”

Stacey could only facepalm inside her head. But either way, she took the last canvas despite
the damage. She’ll just add some reinforcements on the frame.

She left the store with only a single 4x5ft canvas at hand.

Guess she had to stick with her watercolor pad for now.
---

One time, both Mikha and Stacey were busy with their own work. Mikha made sure that this
particular painting was well hidden from Stacey’s view. And of course, she made Stacey
promise not to sneak even a peek at it. It’s a secret, she said.

The latter could only grunt but she made sure not to break her promise. Though it’s seriously
taunting her with how huge the canvas is.

“Not even a glance?”

But Mikha’s firm ‘nope’ with a popping sound made her give up on her pursuit.

“Ugh, fine!”

---

It’s one of those normal weekends where Renzo’s busy with some sidelines he took so the
two ladies are left in the house, in Mikha’s studio particularly.

“Kelan mo ba kasi ipapakita yang ginagawa mo? Ilang buwan na ha.” Mikha knew that
Stacey’s already annoyed at this point. But props to the woman, no matter how tempted she
wanted, she really never peeked at the said painting.
“Just a little bit more. Maybe about a week or two?”

“Two weeks?! Ano ba kasi yan at ang tagal mong ginagawa?!”

Mikha only laughed at the frustrated woman. A frustrated Stacey is definitely a hot sight.

The afternoon has approached fast and it’s been a few hours since they stayed silent.

It was suddenly broken when a chair screeched to the floor, surprising Stacey.

“Tapos ka na for today?” she asked the older.

“Y-yeah, I’m feeling kinda dizzy so I guess I’ll head to bed for now.”

“Oh, okay. Ligpit ko lang saglit ‘tong mga gamit.”

As Stacey was busy clearing her brushes up, Mikha managed to put the cover of her canvas
first before the dizziness she’d been feeling escalated.

“Shit…” she breathes in deeply, suddenly clutching the armrest of her wheelchair.

“Mikhs?”

The next thing they knew, a loud crash was heard and brushes flew to the ground, with
Mikha’s body lying on the floor, unconscious.
“MIKHA!”

---

“Hmm, seems like the permanent damage in her brain is starting to manifest,” these were the
doctor’s words to the duo sitting in front of him.

“Will she be alright?”

The straight face of Dr. Earnheart didn’t give a positive sign for them.

“To be frank, things might still occur. With her collapsing, this might just be the start. But for
now, her vitals are normal and she can go home once she wakes up. But I’m afraid that she
needs to have her checkups with the neuro regularly from now on. The side effects of her
accident are starting to manifest and we need to see how much damage it’ll do.”

---

This is what Stacey was afraid of.

Of course, she kind of expected this to happen. With how much Mikha suffered during the
accident, it’s just insanely impossible that she’ll recover to a hundred percent of her past self.
Heck, even eighty percent seems farfetched.
Wait, who is she kidding? The fact that Mikha’s breathing right now, that’s already a miracle
by itself.

And like what the doctor said, all the consequences of the accident are starting to manifest.

Stacey can’t count how many broken glasses and mugs have been thrown out after Mikha
accidentally drops them. Much like her right leg, her right hand is starting to lose its grip.

There are numerous times when Stacey would check on Mikha before she heads to her own
room every midnight, but she wouldn’t find the girl’s figure on the bed. Instead, she’ll see her
on the balcony, staring at nothing.

“Anong iniisip mo?” she asked softly as she approached the other woman.

She settled herself on the chair across Mikha, looking at the same space where the latter’s
eyes were on.

“Nothing, everything, take your pick.”

They both giggled softly.

They enjoyed the silence between them. It’s not a suffocating one, but instead, it’s the
comforting silence that they both need at the moment.

“Do you think I deserve this second chance in life?”

It was a question that had been on Mikha’s mind ever since she first opened her eyes back
then.
Does she deserve this chance?

“Anong sinasabi mo? Of course! You’re alive right now for a reason.”

Mikha was about to counter when Stacey continued.

“Think of all the good things that happened after you wake up. Nagkita ulit kayo ng kuya mo.
Naayos yung relationship nyo.”

Another pause.

“And by now, I hope napatawad mo na ang sarili mo sa mga bagay na hindi mo naman talaga
kasalanan in the first place…”

Silence.

“You have, right?”

They both look at each other’s eyes.

“Am I worth forgiving?”

It was the tone of Mikha’s voice that moved Stacey’s soul. And she hated the fact that Mikha
had to ask this to herself.

“Mikhs,” Stacey sighs.

“Siguro, deep inside, iniisip mo, ikaw ang may kasalanan ng lahat, no?”

Mikha only nodded.

“Hmmm, sinisi mo ba si ate Aiah nung umalis s’ya papuntang London dati?”

“What? No!” she shook her head immediately. “I’d never blame her for it. The circumstances
called for it.”

Stacey only gave her a look.

“Wha- oh….”

“Ngayon, gets mo na? Walang naninisi sa’yo sa mga nangyari. Just like how you didn’t
blame ate Aiah, ganun din kami. Wala kang kasalanan, Mikhs. Kaya yun ang hiling ko sa’yo.
Stop blaming yourself na.”

“…”

“Tsaka ano…” This time, Stacey’s voice got softer.

“Please, don’t leave us like that again.”

Mikha looked at the younger and was surprised to meet glistening eyes.

“Don’t leave me ever, again.” It was barely a whisper but Mikha heard it loud and clear.
“Did I scare you?” she wheeled her chair closer to Stacey.

Scare? Heck, she already gave up on her at one point.

“Alam mo ba? Sa totoo lang, sinukuan na kita eh. Tinanggap ko na yung possibility na
tuluyan mo na kaming iwan. Pero I hate the fact na sinukuan kita not once, but twice.”

“Twice?”

Stacey recalled the moment that she told Aiah about it. It was a huge load off her chest but at
the same time, it was a huge secret that was let out.

Stacey was about to speak when Mikha beat her.

“Oh, right… I remember.”

“You remember what?”

“Akala ko panaginip lang yun. So, it’s actually true,” she said more to herself.

“Anong sinasabi mo?”

Instead of a direct answer, Mikha only looked at her with soft eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Staku. I was clueless back then, I didn’t notice.”
It may mean so many things to Stacey. But whatever she thinks it’s about, she decided to just
keep it for herself.

“I hope we can pick up right where we left off. Is that okay, Staks?”

She doesn’t understand what the woman means but she smiles nonetheless.

“Sure.”

---

Tonight wasn’t any different. It’s nearing one in the morning so Stacey is expecting that
everyone in the house is asleep. She went out of her room to grab some water when she
habitually checked Mikha’s opened door. And as expected, the woman isn’t on her bed.

The balcony, she thought. So, she checked the mentioned place again.

And she could only thank the heavens that she always, ALWAYS checks on the woman.

---

“It’s the second time this month, am I correct?” the doctor said as he faced the sleepless
Stacey and Renzo, all hair and clothes disheveled after rushing to the hospital.
“Yes, doc. She also collapsed two weeks ago.”

The doctor could only nod.

“She’s lucky that you found her in time. Her blood oxygen level dropped significantly. It
would be a huge problem if you didn’t find her at that moment.”

Stacey could only sigh in relief. Bless her and her habit.

“But she might be unconscious for a while so you need to stay here for a few days.”

---

And just like that, she’s back in the hospital.

Waiting again.

Praying again.

Watching the unconscious Mikha Lim, again.

Scared once again.

How many times must she be in this situation?

As much as the previous events supposedly numbed her already, she’s, of course, still much
afraid of whatever might happen.

After everything they’ve been through, the only thing that she wished for at the moment was
not to take back the new life that was given to Mikha.

This time, there’s no ate Aiah or Doc Jho to be her pillar. She only has Renzo Lim beside her.

“Magiging okay kaya s’ya?” she asked absentmindedly the man beside her.

“Well, the doctor said wala namang any serious findings so far. Just her low blood oxygen
level but it’s back to normal now. So hopefully walang maging malaking issue.”

That’s what she’s really hoping for.

She already saw the worst-case scenario back then. So this shouldn’t be that much of a worry,
right?

---

“Hngg,” a soft grunt beside her woke the sleeping figure up. Her back hurts from the sitting
position she’s in but that isn’t her main concern at the moment.

“Mikhs?” She called out.

“Where am I?” she heard her ask softly.

“We’re in the hospital. You fainted, five days ago.”

This definitely woke Mikha up. “FIVE DAYS?”

Stacey could only nod before snapping out of her daze.

“May kailangan ka ba? Are you hungry? Bathroom? Does your body hurt?” Stacey was
continually moving around, hoping to give Mikha whatever she needed.

“Staku,”

“Gusto mo ba ng masahe? May fruits pala dito. Pagtalop kita?”

“Staks,”

“Wait, tawagan ko yung doctor kaso 2 am na. Let me get-”

“Stacey Sevilleja.” This time, Mikha called her a little louder to catch the woman’s attention.

“Y-yes?”

“Come here,” the patient said as she patted the space beside her in bed.

“O-okay.”
She sat carefully right next to Mikha but the next thing completely caught her off guard.

“Mikhs?”

“Shhh, don’t move. Let’s stay like this for a while,” it was very softly spoken but she heard it
loud and clear, with Mikha’s mouth directly right next to her ear.

She doesn’t know why, but even though Mikha’s the patient here and she’s supposed to be the
one assuring her, it felt like Mikha’s the one assuring her instead.

The protective arms around her body, the way Mikha holds her head to the crook of her neck,
and the way the younger’s hands slowly stroke her hair.

This is definitely something she didn’t expect to happen.

“Wha-”

“It’s okay, Staku. I’m okay. I won’t leave. I’ll be here. I won’t leave you…” she mumbled to
the younger’s ear, much to the latter’s confusion.

But with those words, she failed to notice the lone tear that escaped her sleepy eyes. She
didn’t know how heavily Mikha’s words affected her.

“‘Di mo ako iiwan, di ‘ba?”

“I’ll be here, Staku. I won’t set you aside again, ever.”

Weird.

Stacey wanted to laugh at the situation.

The last thing she remembered, Mikha was the one who needed love and attention. Mikha’s
the one who needed reassurance.

But here they are, with the patient Mikha Lim giving her the attention instead.

I won’t set you aside again, ever.

But she begged to differ.

Mikha never really set her aside, even back then.

It’s her who gave up. It’s she who gave way to someone else in Mikha’s heart.

But she never regretted that. She never regretted giving Mikha the happiness she deserved
back then.

But now that the ball’s in her hands, she won’t let go of it like before.

“Mikhs?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you like it if I’m the one to take care of you?”

Mikha can’t help but chuckle. That has been their arrangement since.

“Aren’t you doing that already?”

Now, Stacey can’t help but blush. She couldn’t believe she needed to elaborate more.

“No, I mean… okay lang ba sa’yo na ako ang mag-aalaga sa’yo hanggang sa magsawa ka
sa’kin?”

Mikha looked at her confusingly. “But I’ll never grow tired of you. So that will never
happen…”

And right there, Mikha finally got what Stacey was asking her.

Can I take care of your heart forever?

That’s what Stacey wanted to ask badly. But of course, easier thought than said.

But with all the nervousness Stacey’s feeling at the moment, it was all washed away with one
sincere smile from Mikha.

“I’m fully trusting my heart to your care, Staku.”

---
“Mikhs? What’s wrong?”

It has been two months since the last hospital trip. Everything almost went back to normal.

Well, almost.

The guest room has been renovated and the wall between that and Mikha’s room has been
removed, combining the two rooms into one huge room.

If you ask why, it’s for safety and to make sure someone’s always around Mikha all the time.

Or at least that’s what Mikha said to her brother when she asked for the merge of the two
rooms.

“Suuuure. For safety. Riiight,” Renzo just replied with a teasing smirk on his face.

So now, here’s Stacey suddenly being awoken by Mikha jolting from her sleep.

“May masakit sa ulo ko. C-can you turn the lights on for a moment? I need some tylenol,”
Mikha asked with a slight shaking of her voice.

“Okay ka lang?” she asked worriedly. She can see the panic in Mikha’s eyes.
“Baka yung mga normal headaches na nag ooccur lagi. It’s also too dark, I’m feeling
suffocated.”

But there’s something wrong with her eyes.

The way she looks around, like a lost puppy.

The sight somehow gave her a bad feeling.

“O-okay, wait lang.”

Stacey immediately turned the bedside lamp on Mikha’s side, just enough to illuminate the
room but not too blinding.

“Staku?”

“Yes?”

“The lights, please?”

Now, Stacey looked at her confusingly.

“But it’s already…”

And at that moment, she knew why those eyes looked so lost.
---

“Okay, another step, and we’re on flat ground.”

It has been a difficult week. This is a huge adjustment for everyone.

Not only does Stacey have to be Mikha’s limb. Now, she also has to take the role of her eyes.

“Okay, nasa harap lang yung kotse. I’ll say pag andun na tayo.”

“Keep going…”

“And we’re here.”

And just like that, with one tiny nerve giving up inside Mikha’s brain, she could never see the
face of her loved one again.

The house was silent save for some cicadas giving life to the quiet afternoon. Renzo was out
buying supplies and Mikha’s fast asleep in her shared room with Stacey.

And since it’s a weekend again, here she is, back at Mikha’s studio- well, she’s not sure if
Mikha will ever use this studio again. But right now, it’s the only place to calm her nerves.
It’s been a few weeks since she last went here.
Things have been frustrating for her, she has to admit. Juggling work and now, she practically
had to do everything for Mikha, it can be tiresome.

But she’s not frustrated at Mikha. She’ll never be.

She’s just frustrated at how unfair the world is. Mikha might have been given a second
chance at life but the consequences of it all are just too cruel. And she’s sure that the latter
feels a lot worse than her.

It pains her to see Mikha suffer like this.

But the woman never complained. Mikha never complained about it.

“I guess I kinda deserved this, huh?”

She hated the defeated chuckle that followed after that.

Mikha didn’t deserve any of this. She’s suffered enough already.

But of course, life loves to play with humans. There’s really nothing they could do about it.

Acceptance is the key, as they say.

And if Mikha has accepted her situation. Who is she not to?

But maybe the one thing that saddens her the most is the huge canvas glaring back at her.
Mikha never managed to finish her last painting.

The cloth covering the canvas has never been touched since she fainted that unfaithful day.

Is it okay? Stacey thought as she slowly sat up from her chair with her eyes focused on the
abandoned canvas.

Just one look.

She walked slowly towards the painting, with nervous steps every inch closer.

Let me look, just this once.

She slowly stretched her hand out, carefully touching the canvas’ frame. She felt the uneven
patches of wood fillers on one side of the frame.

My handiwork, she thought.

Slowly, she held on to the black cloth covering the painting.

I wonder what’s your last creation that took you months to create?
Removing the cover, what faced her completely rendered her speechless.

The way she’s staring back at her own eyes as if they're alive.

The way every eyelash was painted flawlessly.

Stacey can’t help but let a stream of tears escape her eyes.

In this huge 4x5ft reinforced canvas is an unfinished portrait of herself, and she still can’t
believe how Mikha made it look so ethereal despite being unfinished,

No wonder it took her months.

And this is how she is in Mikha’s eyes.

“Mikhs…”

But one thing suddenly crossed her mind which made her smile along with the tears.

She was certainly glad that she gave her that last canvas.

##
Chapter End Notes

🥺🥺
A little glimpse of what happened to Mikha after leaving the PH, and yesss Mikhcey our
one-call-away duo

I know a lot of you are asking for some Jhoaiah fluff pero (ok 'di ko kasi talaga forte ang
fluff what is fluff ba I only know angst chz) I also wanna show what happened to all the
main characters and even from the earlier chapters naman, Mikhcey's always there.
Those two also deserved a (somewhat) happy ending naman siguro, no?

(At least buhay si Mikhs dibaaaa sabi sa inyo hindi 'to angst eh. Slight lang)

The next chapter will be the last chapter (epilogue) of the main story soooo, yey patapos
na(?).
 Epilogue: Saving Grace
Chapter Summary

Few years have passed. A lot has happened that surely affected their lives. How are
things going?

Chapter Notes

Time skip to 2029

TW: Mention of Su**cide

See the end of the chapter for more notes

EPILOGUE:

SAVING GRACE

2029

The sun’s out and it’s the perfect weather to go out and about. Not too hot, not too cold. Just
right. It felt relaxing just walking around, appreciating things in life.

Well, one thing Aiah wants to appreciate is the fact that she’s alive and well today. Also, not
to forget the fact that she has a loving person by her side during all those years she’s healing.
She knows that it was not the easiest to love her, let alone, during her shattered times. But
she’s just thankful for this person sticking with her, watching over her along the way.
The past five years have not been the best years of her life. One could even say that it could
be one of the worst moments in her 36 years of living. She wouldn’t even make it if she’s in it
alone. Her best emotional support for years, Stacey, left the country four and a half years ago
due to work and personal reasons. The huge international client she worked with before
wanted her and she agreed. It might be a part of her healing process. And she knows she can’t
stop her. Stacey has already sacrificed enough for her so it’s only proper that she let the
woman do whatever she wants.

And then there’s this person. A personification of love and care. Maybe being a doctor is the
perfect job for her given her caring nature. And Aiah couldn’t be thankful enough for
opening her heart again. A heart that she thought would be numb after all those events.

Looking at the person beside her, she can’t help but imagine how it would be if she wasn’t
around. She doesn’t even know if she’ll be here walking on the surface of the earth if not for
her. She can only be thankful that she has found her saving grace in the form of a doctor.

“Lalim ng iniisip natin, ah,” Jhoanna said as she noticed the distant stare Aiah was having.
She's been quiet the whole time that Jhoanna had to check on her.

“I’m just nervous, but also thankful.”

“Nervous about what? And thankful for...?”

“It’s been five years since last akong bumisita don. So I’m quite nervous.”

Jhoanna gave her an encouraging smile before facing her. “Hey, okay lang yan. I’m sure
maiintindihan ka nila. Hindi naging madali para sa lahat, but with you being here, it’s already
enough to show kung gaano ka ka-strong. So it’ll be okay, got it?”

“Thank you, mahal. I don’t know if I’ll survive without you.” Aiah’s already getting teary-
eyed when Jhoanna wiped the threatening tear away.
“Give yourself some credit. Tinulungan lang naman kita pero sarili mo pa rin ang tumulong
sa’yo. Sobrang tatag mong tao and I’m a witness of that. So, appreciate yourself more,
okay?”

This side of Jhoanna is what Aiah really loves. She never fails to remind her to love herself
more, something she lost along the way of destruction and pain. It’s one thing to give love to
another person, but to push that person to love herself, it’s a herculean task especially if the
person was already broken to pieces, like her. Jhoanna proved to her that she was not beyond
repair.

She can't help but run a finger on her wrist. A clear line of scar that will be permanently
etched on her, and also a clear reminder of all the hardships she went through in the past
years. It was one of the scariest moments not only for her but for the doctor as well.

When people say that relapse may happen at any given time, she doesn't believe them. She
thought that after months of therapy, she would be fine. She thought she was fine. Her
progress was tremendous. She took the first few months of Stacey's absence a little better, or
so she thought.

2026

It was during that one September night when Jhoanna oddly felt something while on her shift.
She didn't know what, but she just felt something unsettling inside of her— a gut feeling
telling her to see the photographer that afternoon.

She still visits Aiah regularly, although the woman has convinced the doctor that she's fine on
her own. That, and she also wanted some alone time as well so the doctor obliged, only
visiting her at least twice a week. Jhoanna's particularly busy during those days as well,
attending seminars and training here and there, finally deciding to pursue Neurology as her
specialization.
She had just finished a minor operation late at night. Her shift supposedly ended two hours
ago but here she is in her office, arranging some documents needed for tomorrow’s briefing.
She was supposed to visit Aiah today but decided that she’d just do it tomorrow since her
body’s already begging for rest. What’s one day of delaying her usual visits?

With her sluggish movements and aching arms, she tried to tidy up the mess in front of her
when she accidentally toppled a mug sitting on her desk.

Glass shattering echoed inside, disrupting the silence of her office. She stood up and was
about to pick it up when she recognized the cute puppy designs on the broken pieces. It was
the mug that Aiah got her for their joint birthday celebration.

Like a rush of cold wind, she felt her body gone cold. There’s an inkling feeling inside of her
that she can’t explain but it’s like autopilot when she suddenly grabbed her car keys and
headed straight to her truck, leaving all her files and laptop scattered on her table.
Something tells her she needs to see Aiah asap.

“Aiah? Andyan ka ba?” she kept on knocking but no one answered. She knows the woman’s
home since her car’s parked and it’s late at night.

Using her spare key, she didn’t waste time opening the front door. She prayed to all the gods
above that the woman was just asleep. She doesn’t care if she’ll get a scolding if she ever
accidentally wakes her up in the middle of the night.

Imagine her surprise when she was greeted by the unconscious homeowner with bloodied
hands, lying on the sofa, fighting for her life.

“TANG— AIAH?!”

Jhoanna never felt that scared in her whole life, not even during critical operations.
—

“TUMABI KAYONG LAHAT!” she was frantic as she carried the unconscious woman inside
the hospital. All nurses and personnel were surprised when she barged in, piggybacking an
unconscious Aiah as she held onto her messily wrapped wrist tightly. Her shirt was stained
with blood as she struggled to carry the woman while running inside.

“Jho?! Anong nangyari?” Jea immediately asked once the emergency personnel took charge
and brought Aiah to the emergency room. Jhoanna knows she’s not allowed inside and as
much as she wanted to, the staff had already stopped her as the door closed.

“Si-si Aiah…” tears started to fill her eyes as she choked, unable to speak further. The other
doctor assisted her to sit by the waiting area. She can see Jhoanna shaking while clutching
her bloodied white coat tightly. The doctor had used it to tie around Aiah’s wrist earlier in a
desparate attempt to stop the blood from oozing out of her wrist.

“Shhh, shhh… Inom ka muna tubig,” Jea gestured to a nearby staff to fetch her a bottle of
water as she caressed her fellow doctor’s back. “Kalma ka, Jho. Magiging okay din si Aiah.”

Jea didn’t ask further, seeing how fragile the doctor was. In her years of working with the
younger doctor, this was only the second time she saw her in this state— helpless and
vulnerable. And it pains her that she knows she can’t do much about it. All she could offer
was the warmth of her presence and a shoulder to cry on, like how she did back then.

All the emotions and adrenaline must’ve drained her out since Jea found her asleep on her
shoulders about an hour later, cheeks stained with tears. She can only fix her hair while
waiting for the emergency room to open.

“Bub? Anong nangyari?! Bakit puro dugo si Jho?” Jane just arrived and is now confused
after seeing the two in that state, especially seeing all the blood on Jhoanna’s clothes.
“Si Aiah…” Jea didn’t continue but with Jane’s expression, she knew the woman got the gist
of it. They both looked at the emergency room buzzing with doctors and nurses.

“Ha? Bakit, anong nangyari kay Aiah?”

“Actually, I still have no idea. Bigla nalang sumugod si Jho dito, buhat si Aiah na walang
malay tas duguan. Hindi pa nagkekwento si Jho. Nakatulog nalang syang nag-iiyak.”

“Oh my god…”

Just then, the ER doctor came out of the door, who seemed to be looking for the patient’s
relatives.

“Relatives of the patient?”

Jea’s the one who answered. “Uhm, Doc Sevio, si Doc Robles po nagdala sa patient dito.”

The ER doctor looked at the said doctor in surprise, “Oh? Kaya pala nagkagulo kanina sa
labas. I also heard some of the nurses mentioning Doc Robles nga. Is it okay to talk to her
or…?”

Just then, Jhoanna’s eyes fluttered open. It took her a few seconds before she slowly absorbed
her surroundings.

“Doc Jho?” Jea asked softly. Jhoanna’s puffy eyes met her worried ones.

“Gusto ka makausap ni Doc Sevio. S’ya ER doctor na naghandle kay Aiah.” Jhoanna just
nodded at the info and stood up to face the doctor.
“Doc? How’s Aiah? Is she okay?”

The ER doctor removed his glasses before facing the younger doctor. “Well, good news is
that she’s stable naman na. Good thing you found her just in time. Hindi gaano kalala blood
loss nya. Nakatulong din yung ginawa mong remedy kahit papaano. We only needed one bag.
But I had to stitch yung wrist nya since medyo malalim yung sugat. We’re lucky she didn’t
sever any major nerve. Things could’ve ended differently.”

Jhoanna could only look at him. She couldn’t imagine what she would do if that ever
happened.

“I was also told na patient pala s’ya before ni Doc Maki. I think you better have Ms. Arceta
go talk to him after this.”

“Can I see her?”

“We’ll transfer her to a room lang then you may see her na. Pero she’s out cold right now so
baka mga bukas pa s’ya magising.”

Once Aiah was brought to a regular room, Jhoanna didn’t waste time to follow. Even Jea and
Jane followed her, worried about the doctor’s state.

“Jho, palit ka munang damit. May extra akong shirt sa office,” Jea offered. Jhoanna’s still in
her blood-stained long sleeve and even her neck and parts of her face has blood smears on it.

“Bub, samahan mo na muna si Jho. Ako na muna dito,” Jane then motioned Jea to assist the
younger doctor.
As the two were walking towards Jea’s office, Jhoanna suddenly spoke.

“Ate Jea…” Jea can hear the trembling of her voice. She could only tighten her hold on her
arm.

“We’re here, Jho. Dito lang kami ng ate Jane mo.”

“Si Aiah… ‘Di ko alam gagawin ko kung hindi ko s’ya pinuntahan kanina.”

“Okay lang ba itanong ano nangyari?”

Jhoanna took a deep breath before answering.

“Ate… nakita ko sya… walang malay. Puro dugo…” Jea just stayed silent and urged her to
continue.

“Sobrang… sobrang natakot ako, ate. Akala ko, ‘di na ako aabot. To think na hindi ko dapat
s’ya bibisitahin ngayon…”

“How did you know na ano…?”

“I-I didn’t. Basta, there’s this gut feeling. I don’t believe in superstitions pero nung nabasag
ko yung mug na regalo nya, I felt something was wrong. Para akong nag auto-pilot na
tumakbo sa sasakyan ko and nagdrive papunta sa apartment nya. I don’t know how to explain
it, pero sobrang sama ng nararamdaman ko while going there.”
Jea felt that Jhoanna’s about to cry again so she engulfed her in a hug, “Shhh, it’s okay now.
She’s stable na. She’ll be okay, Jho. Now, let’s fix you up muna.”

The duo returned a few moments later, with Jhoanna all cleaned up in a fresh dress shirt.

“How is she?” Jea asked as she watched the ECG monitor.

“She’s stable naman, like Doc Sevio said. Dumaan pala s’ya kanina. Noting na he’ll check
on her ulit later morning. She’s fairly okay naman na raw so once magising s’ya and she’s
good, she can be discharged na.”

“That’s great,” Jea then faced Jhoanna, “see? Baka kaya na s’ya ma-discharge mamaya.
Let’s pray for that.”

Jea and Jane bid farewell after a while, with Jane starting her shift and Jea needing to go
back home and rest before her shift. But of course, they didn’t forget to buy food and drinks
for the young doctor.

Jhoanna could only watch the slow rising and falling of Aiah’s chest as she slept peacefully.

“Aiah… anong nangyari?” she asked only to be answered by machines beeping.

“I thought you were getting better. Paanong… why did you try to…” She couldn’t even finish
the sentence, hating the thought of Aiah doing that.

“Bakit hindi mo ako tinawagan? Why did you have to resort to that? Pwede ka naman sa
akin kumapit kung hindi mo na kaya… Bakit…”
“P-paano kung… paano kung hindi ako pumunta? What if I pushed through na ipagpa bukas
nalang yung pag visit ko?” her voice echoes inside Aiah’s room. All the fear, anger, and
anxiety she felt, laced in her voice as she threw out these questions even if she knew she
wouldn’t get the answers.

“Paano kung… nahuli ako? Maaabutan pa ba kita?”

She still can’t fathom the fact that just a few moments ago, she could’ve lost the girl she’s
been trying to protect. If she were just a little tad too late, things would’ve ended differently,
just like what Doc Sevio said earlier. That gut-wrenching feeling she felt earlier, she can’t
explain but it’s like she knew that something happened. She just can’t absorb that fact yet as
everything still feels like a nightmare that she badly wants to wake up from.

“Alam mo ba, sobrang natakot ako nung gabing yun,” she then felt the doctor caress her
wound as well whilst observing it. A few years has already passed but it’s still vivid on her
mind as if it happened yesterday.

“Nawalan na ako ng pake sa kalsada that time. Hindi ko na rin pinansin kung puro dugo man
loob ng sasakyan ko or kahit ako mismo. Basta, wala nang ibang tumakbo sa isip ko kundi
maisugod ka sa ospital.” Jhoanna can still feel her voice trembling upon remembering that
night. It still haunts her how close she was to losing the woman she loves. But she doesn’t
blame her. If anything, she’s extremely thankful that Aiah finally held onto her after that
night, keeping her promise she made to herself.
“I know I’ve said this a million times, pero I’m really thankful na pinuntahan mo ako that
night. And sobrang pinagsisisihan kong nagawa ko yun. Thank you for sticking with me,
mahal. It wasn’t the easiest time to love me. Pinagtabuyan kita ilang beses but you stayed.
Hindi mo ako iniwan,” Aiah then took hold of Jhoanna’s hand, intertwining their fingers in
the process.

“Thank you for existing, Maraiah. And thank you for keeping on living. Mahal kita, sobra,”
she then raised their joined hands before she kissed the silver band sitting snugly on Aiah’s
ring finger, which made all the butterflies inside her stomach flutter.

"I love you, too, mahal. so much."

They walked along the stoned path in silence, following the way until they reached an old
gate with words that said “The Garden of the Divine Word Columbary” .

It’s been five years since she visited this place. And she’s thankful for Jhoanna going with her
even if this is not an obligation for her.

Tightening the hold on the flowers in her hands, she walked further inside before reaching a
chapel-like structure. She then looked at her companion.

“Sasama ka ba sa loob?”

Jhoanna just smiled and shakes her head softly. “Moment mo ‘to para makausap sila. Mas
maganda siguro kung ikaw lang ang papasok sa loob. I know you wanted to talk to them
badly. Dito lang ako. Intayin kita, okay?”

Thank God for a very understanding partner.

“Okay. Call me if it gets boring out here. It might take me a while.”

“Don’t worry. Take your time lang. ‘Di kita iiwan.”

With that last note, Jhoanna kissed her forehead before she headed inside the said structure.

Even after five years, she still remembers where it is located so it didn’t take a long time to
find the name she’s been looking for.

‘LIM FAMILY’

Kneeling, she placed the flowers inside the niche together with some photos and memorabilia
of the deceased.

“Hello. It’s me, Maraiah. Naaalala nyo pa po ba ako?”

“I know, it’s been a while since I last visited but I figured that I should stop being a coward.
Besides, I know naman na maiintindihan nyo po ako.”

“It was honestly hard for me. That’s why for a moment, I decided to cut ties with my past.
And unfortunately, nakasama kayo dun, so I really apologize for it. And since birthday nyo
po sa heaven, I felt bad kung hindi ko po kayo mababati this time. So, happy birthday po in
heaven.”

"Sa totoo lang po, I almost joined you there. But I’m pretty sure you won’t be happy to see
me anytime soon. But I’m just so thankful that I met my saving grace who was able to help
me heal. Alam nyo po? Sana pala isinama ko s’ya dito pero I guess she wants to respect this
intimate moment of ours. Ang understanding nya po, di ‘ba?”

She then breathes out a sigh. But it’s not of burden or stress. It’s a sigh of relief. A relief that
she’s finally able to let out some of her inner thoughts.

“I’ll be silent for a moment, okay? I’ll just say my prayers.”

Closing her eyes, she put her hands together, mumbling her prayers softly.

She was so focused on her words that she failed to notice the incoming visitor entering the
place.

The visitor, however, decided to stay silent after seeing how serious Aiah was, afraid that
they might break her moment.

Once finished with her prayers, she immediately sensed another presence beside her. She
stood up and faced the newcomer with a surprised expression.

“Staku? Kelan ka pa dumating?”

The younger woman smiled softly at her. It’s been four and a half years since they last saw
each other. They also barely talked, with Aiah basically shutting everyone out after that
incident. So it’s a surprise to see each other again.

“Umuwi ako kahapon. Sakto pala, no? To be honest, ‘di ko inexpect na magkikita tayo dito.
Pero masaya ako, nonetheless. It just means you’re healing well.” Stacey gave her a genuine
smile. A smile Aiah definitely missed.

She then looked at the niche and smiled sadly. “Miss ko na sila.”

“I miss them, too. That’s why I decided to visit them this time. Jho was ecstatic about it.”

“Onga pala, nakita ko s’ya sa may labas kanina. Kaya naisip ko na baka andito ka.”

“She wants me to take this time for myself kaya hinayaan muna nya ako mag-isa.”
“That’s considerate of her.”

The two looked back at the niche, and then the photos displayed. It’s been so long since they
saw those cheeky smiles they love seeing so much.

“Nag-iisa ka lang?” Aiah asked.

As if suddenly remembering something, she then looked outside quickly before returning her
attention to Aiah.

“Actually, may kasama ako. Pero please, ‘wag kang magugulat, ate. ‘Di mo ‘to ineexpect for
sure.”

Leaving Aiah confused, she peeked outside and motioned for someone to enter the place.

As she watched the younger return to her previous position, she heard the sound of wheels
turning from the door. Looking in the direction, she then came face to face with the people
she never thought she would see again.

Renzo gave her a quiet smile. Everyone was silent until the fourth person spoke. “Are we
there yet?”

“Yes, dito na tayo, Mikhs. We just entered the chapel. Ilapit lang kita sa niche.”

She watched as Renzo pushed Mikha’s wheelchair toward their parents’ niche. Judging by
their conversation, the blank stare Mikha was giving, and the biggest giveaway, the walking
stick in her hand, Aiah could only guess what situation she was in.
Before Stacey could speak, she motioned for her to keep quiet. She also looked at Renzo,
motioning for the two to keep quiet about her.

“Are we there yet, kuya?”

“Yep. Nasa harap mo na sila.”

“Staks, are you here?” she asked.

“Yes, dito lang sa tabi mo.”

“Can you come closer to me, please?” with that, Stacey walked to Mikha’s side.

Aiah just stayed at the side, watching the scene in front of her unfold as if she wasn’t there.
But this is her choice. She still doesn't know what Mikha thinks of her now. So she opted for
the latter to talk with her parents in peace. But also, she’s curious as to how she is now. It’s
the first time hearing from her again after she was brought to Australia five years ago. Heck,
she didn’t even know if Mikha’s alive not until this moment. That’s why here she is, deciding
to watch in the background.

“Mom, Dad. It’s your cutest child visiting you again. ‘Di ko lang sure dito sa isa nyong anak.
Panget ni kuya.”

“Huy, magkamukha lang tayo. So panget ka rin?”

“Whatever, stupid.”

Aiah wanted to chuckle but she kept it inside. She suddenly remembered how the two
bantered back in the day.
“Well, actually, Mom, Dad, ‘di naman ako nalalayo kay kuya. I mean, the stupid part. Of
course, ‘di ako panget but you can say that I was stupid.”

“It’s been years since I last went here. I’m pretty sure nagtatampo na kayo since baka akala
nyo, nakalimutan ko na kayo pero that’s the thing, I’ve never forgotten you. Which is actually
more painful. I just wish I did forget, you know what I mean?”

“But also, I’m here to apologize. I'm terribly sorry for ruining the life you have given me.
I’ve made stupid decisions dahil mahina ako, and now, I’m paying the price. But I guess I
have to thank my dumb brother for somehow giving me another chance in life. Bumawi
naman talaga s’ya sakin after nya ako iwan dati, so I’m not mad at him anymore. And
surprisingly, forgiving him actually gave me peace.”

This time, sniffs can be heard from the only man in the room. He never really heard her sister
show appreciation for him. Also, he knows how mad she was. It was a wave of anger he
never thought would subside. And hearing her forgive him in front of their deceased parents
hits differently.

“And also, one more thing,” before she continued, she reached out to her side, seeking for a
hand. And one person understands immediately what she’s doing so she captures them
instead, holding them tightly in the process.

“Mom, Dad, I know matagal nyo nang kilala si Staku. Actually, feeling ko nga, mas gusto
nyo pang maging anak si Staku kesa samin ni kuya kasi ganun s'ya ka-charming. But please,
no. I don’t want this to be incest,” this made Stacey chuckle a bit. Aiah, on the other hand,
immediately figured out what she meant. If this has happened in the past, of course, it would
hurt. But right now? She’s actually happy. Genuinely happy. Happy for her best friend.
Happy for her ex-lover. And now that she thinks about it, this should have been the original
story. And they just messed it up along the way.

“So yeah. I guess gets nyo naman na sinasabi ko. All I’m saying is, aside from kuya Renzo,
I’m also really thankful for Staku. I learned of her hardships, of her sacrifices, and I’m deeply
regretting whatever I did in the past. Pero despite all that, andito pa rin s’ya. She helped kuya
bring me back to life. And you can say that she knocked a lot of sense to me during those
times.”
Hearing this made Stacey hold her hand tighter. As much as she wanted to speak, she didn't
want to break Mikha’s moment.

“So this is you guys, meeting Staku not as your other daughter, but as your daughter-in-law.
Alam ko namang approve agad kayo. But still, gusto ko s’ya ipakilala sa inyo officially as my
lover.”

Hearing the actual words from Mikha’s mouth made Aiah feel things. But these are good
things. Somehow, somewhere during her healing process, she actually prayed that wherever
Mikha may be, she genuinely hoped that she’d find someone who’d be with her through
everything. And she can’t think of a better person than Stacey Sevilleja.

Mikha then tugged Stacey’s hand, pulling her closer to her parents’ niche.

“Gusto mo ba sila makausap?”

Albeit nervous, Stacey agreed. She then knelt in front of their niche and looked at them with
a smile on her face, and her hand still intertwined with Mikha’s.

“Hi po, Mama, Papa. Kulit lang, ganun na rin naman tawag ko sa inyo ever since pero this
time, iba na meaning nya.”

“Uhm, gusto ko lang pong sabihin na hindi nyo na kailangan mag-alala sa anak nyo mula
ngayon. I’ll make sure na hindi na s'ya gagawa ng mga maling desisyon sa buhay. And
siguro, idamay ko na rin si kuya Renzo. Hindi ko alam saan nila namana yung part na yun
since pareho naman po kayong matalino.” She chuckled when she heard the two siblings
protest.

“Anyways, so I’m here po, asking for your blessings. We’ve actually been together for more
about three years na. And we’re really sorry kung ngayon lang po kami naka-visit. Promise,
hindi na namin i-skip birthday nyo sa heaven next time.”
After Stacey stood up, Mikha spoke once again.

“So, I guess that’s it for now? I’ll visit again sometime, Mom, Dad. Like what Staku said.
Hindi na kami liliban.”

Renzo was about to pull the wheelchair when she suddenly spoke again.

“Oh! One last thing.”

“I… I’m not sure kung bumibisita pa ba si Aiah sa inyo. I have no news of her ever since we
left the Philippines. The last time na nakita ko s’ya was when I woke up from my coma,”
now, this got Aiah’s attention fully. The last thing she expects is for Mikha to actually
remember her. Even Renzo and Stacey looked at her with surprised eyes.

“Anyways, I just wanna tell you about it since matagal na rin naman kayo magkakilala and
you were also close. Even before you left this world, you’re actually rooting for us to be
together til the end.”

She let out a sigh. It seems like it’s a lot of thought she’s holding inside.

“Nung nasa coma ako, you can say that I can hear some things. Or sometimes, nae-
experience ko yung tinatawag nilang astral projection or whatever you call it. So yeah, I was
aware how hard it was for her. And how she’s pulling it through for me. And I’m terribly
sorry for it. It’s my fault for making her life miserable like that when it shouldn’t have. I
mean, may sarili naman s’yang buhay but I managed to ruin that just because mine’s a mess.
But I’m really thankful for her nonetheless because even if she left momentarily, she
immediately flew back to the PH the instant she learned about what happened. Nakwento ni
Staku sa’kin.”

Aiah could only look at Stacey with curious eyes. She seriously has a lot to ask the woman
later on.
But right now, she still can’t get over the fact that she’s watching Mikha’s raw emotions
about her. People show their real thoughts and feelings about someone when that person is
away from them. And in this case, Mikha has no idea that she’s inside the very same room as
hers.

“I know she loved me so much. But I was also aware of the fact that things weren’t really
working out for both of us. And hindi ko naman s’ya masisisi. I was really a mess back then
and it’s only understandable kung mapagod na s’ya sa’kin. So I fully understand her now. But
it’s too late for me, I guess.”

“But that aside, I also learned how she’s trying to manage herself habang inaalagaan ako.
And that’s how I learned of Doc Robles. But it’s a bit blurry for me, to be honest. It was
during those times when I was having serious problems with my brain so that astral thingy
was kinda faulty. But I know na if it wasn’t for Doc Robles, I’d be with you already five
years ago. So I think I owe my life to her.”

Aiah’s suspicions were right all along. Dr. Mario Mallari said that coma patients might hear
things around them, and Mikha was no exception. She was about to beat herself up until she
heard Mikha’s next words.

“So knowing that, nung nagising ako, after seeing the person I want to be most thankful of
that day, I tried to do something for Aiah one last time, since kahit ako, hindi sure kung
magigising pa ba ako kinabukasan. I talked to Dr. Robles, the first person who witnessed my
awakening.”

"I saw, or rather heard some of their moments. And judging from that, I can say na sobrang
mahalaga si Aiah for Doc Robles. I would know because ganun din ako kay Aiah before. So,
I talked to her and entrusted Aiah to her. I know, ang selfish and unnecessary sa part ko since
‘di ko naman pag-aari buhay ni Aiah. Medyo desisyon ako sa part na yun. And mahirap din
siguro for Doc Robles since patient nya ako. But I don't know, I just felt that if I were to die
that night, I could die in peace knowing na someone’s there for her, y'know what I'm saying?
So yeah, wherever they might be, whether they really ended up together or not, I just hope na
makita na rin ni Aiah ang para talaga sa kanya, just like how I found my saving grace who
was actually with me all these times."

"If Aiah ever visits you, please tell her that I'm really thankful to have experienced her love
once in this lifetime. I wish her all the best and hopefully, in time, magkita ulit kami. Maybe
not eye to eye since obviously, bulag na ako. I don't know how you'll do it, but please ‘wag
nyo s’ya takutin. Medyo matatakutin pa naman yun."
Hearing those words, it's only a matter of time until Aiah bursts into tears. She's just trying
her best not to make any sound. Stacey and Renzo were no different from her. Everyone
literally was holding their tears inside. Even Jhoanna who's just standing by the door is trying
to hold her tears inside after hearing Mikha’s monologue.

"Okay na ako, kuya. Let's go home?"

"Sure," Renzo tried to respond without his voice breaking. The last thing he wants is for
Mikha to make fun of him crying, even though honestly speaking, he's on the verge of it.

The whole time Renzo was wheeling Mikha out, Aiah watched in silence. Stacey then
approached her once the siblings were gone and gave her a tight hug she'd been wanting to
give her bestfriend for years.

"Thank you for holding up, ate. Sobrang natutuwa akong makita ka, kung alam mo lang.
‘Wag kang mag-alala, we’re staying here sa Pinas for good. Magkikita tayo ulit soon.
Promise."

"I missed you, Staks. And I'm genuinely happy for the two of you. Ever since naman, I knew
you’d be the best person for her so I’m just so happy that you’re together now.”

As the two let go of the hug, Stacey grabbed Aiah’s hand which has a ring sitting on it. She
has a wide smile on her lip as she admires the silver band on Aiah’s finger.

“Congrats din pala sa engagement nyo ni Doc Jho! Nakita ko sa story ni Shee. I can’t believe
you’re really settling down soon. I’m so excited for both of you!”

“Thank you, Staks! I didn’t expect that I’d reach this point, to be honest, after all the things
that happened. Pero here we are, and I’m glad to spend my lifetime with her.”
 “I hope that this is finally it for all of us."

"Yes. Praying for better days ahead."

They looked at the Lim Family niche one last time before heading back outside, back to the
real world.

Everyone knew at that moment that there was no more hatred. No more madness. No more
pain and tragedy. Everyone was actually healing, accepting, and letting go. Every thought,
heavy or light, was said inside this very room. It may be a painful place to many, but for
them, this is a place of their memories and their feelings. A place where they forgive, where
they let go, where they accept, and where they wish. A place of promises. And maybe even a
place of new beginnings.

###

Chapter End Notes

AND THAT CONCLUDES THE MAIN STORY OF SAVING GRACE!!! (yey another
Jhoaiah fic done)

A/N:

Sana na-satisfy naman kayo sa ending hehe

Not everything will be smooth sailing for all of them. Especially to Mikha, like, simula
palang, it's obvious that things won't be smooth for her (sis medyo malalang car accident
yun)

I don't know if this ending will satisfy everyone's expectations, pero I made the setting
sa columbarium ng parents ni Mikha since if we think about it, everything started there,
after her parents died sa plane crash (and if you can recall, Jho was part of the rescue
team that helped during that event) so they're somewhat interconnected already from
that moment. And with Aiah and Mikha finally visiting the elder Lims, it represents how

😭
they already accepted the past and are ready to move forward with their lives (sana na-
gets nyo huhu )

Final words...

I guess what I can say is that even when you think you're at the lowest point in your life;
when you feel like you're a trash that can easily be discarded, there will always be a
person or people who will be willing to help you stand up and pick up your pieces. You
might hate yourself for some time but there will always be someone full of love willing
to share that love with you, to the point that you'll be able to love yourself once again.

okay dami ko na sinabi so ayun, thank you so much for taking your time to read my
story hehe see you dun sa kabila! (malay nyo magka special chapt— [GUNSHOTS])
End Notes

Don't hesitate to reach out!

Twitter/X: @_OnlyKangS

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!