Hiding Desire - CC Gedling
Hiding Desire - CC Gedling
CC GEDLING
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CONTENTS
Foreword
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
37. Epilogue
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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For all the strong, independent women who handle everything life throws at
them with a smile and enjoy escaping to a fictional world of obsessed alpha
males.
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Copyright © 2024 by CC Gedling
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means,
including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author,
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to names, characters, actual events, places, brands,
businesses, locales and persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author acknowledges the
trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction,
which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorised,
associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
ASIN - B0CHPNG71Y
Cover design – Cruel Ink
Photographer – Wander Aguiar
Model – Zac
Proof Editor – Chloe L Proofreader
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FOREWORD
This book is a work of fiction. Let’s face it: most book boyfriends IRL
should probably get a kick in the nuts and sent to jail, but in the fictional
world, they are hot. Do not take any of the content in the story to represent
a healthy relationship or the glamorising of gang violence. It is written for
entertainment, just like action heroes flying through the sky and children
performing magic. Please check the content warnings.
This book is written in British English. This means there will be local
slang, too many U’s, and not enough Z’s for my American readers. Still
sorry, not sorry.
Mother, I’ve given up warning you not to read the books that I write,
but you must stop recommending them to your healthcare professionals.
Your dentist doesn’t need to be traumatised. Love you. X
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6
T he motorway was busy as I weaved the Range Rover past slower cars.
My mind was back in the club with the hummingbird and her suspicious
paper trail. I tried to convince myself that was the motivation for this trip
and nothing else, even as infatuation nibbled at the edges of my
concentration.
“What’s wrong with Vegas for a honeymoon?” I asked Loch mainly to
distract myself from memories of her tits.
“Nothing, but Rada doesn’t want to leave the country.”
“Why? She’s got a passport.”
“It’s her sister. Until we find her, she doesn’t want to leave.”
“You know that—”
“Don’t fucking say it.”
I shut my mouth. They were both delusional. Rada’s sister was dead.
We’d not found her in nearly a year of looking.
“What’s the play when we get there?” Loch asked, changing the subject.
“Let’s see how it pans out.”
Loch sighed and checked his firearm. He knew it would not be pretty.
“Are you gone for this woman already?”
I scoffed. “Says the man who picked up his wife when she was
unconscious and covered in the blood of the men she’d stabbed and took
her home immediately. Fecking pot callin’ the kettle black.” I changed
gears. “This is a potential lead. The woman pretends not to speak English,
hides the fact she is doing a degree, wears a wig, and her ID is faker than a
page three girl’s tits.”
“Sure, you tell yourself it’s about the Stefanovs.”
“It’s about being lied to.”
I hoped she wasn’t tied to the Stefanovs. I’d have to employ an entirely
different type of torture on her. The thought had me adjusting my half-hard
cock.
Loch burst out laughing. “So that’s the route you’re taking? I hope the
strip club doesn’t have a policy against the boss getting his dick wet.”
“Feck off. This is the type of irregularity we were looking for.”
“Yeah, because lots of trafficked women are using their fake ID to do a
dental degree.”
I ignored him and turned off the motorway.
The need to know everything about Amy – not her real name – Shelton,
burned inside me. It was dodgy as fuck, and her ID looked legitimate, but
the in-depth background check Thomas ran did not, and when you knew
forgers, you knew their styles. The guy who forged her ID was paranoid and
shifty. He did reasonable work, but not as good as the guy I used.
We pulled up and parked on the nondescript suburban street. I’d left
Craig and Ian watching the dental school where the hummingbird was in
the clinic. Yesterday was a lot of fun, bribing my way into an appointment
with her and making her sleazy supervisor piss his pants. He was lucky the
place was packed, and I didn’t kill him for the way he spoke to me.
Loch gave me a look before unfolding his massive frame from the car.
He was grumpy because he was getting married in a few days, and this trip
prevented him from banging his wife.
I rapped on the door, and a young guy with dark bags under his eyes and
messy hair answered.
“H-hello? Do you have an appointment?”
“Tell Briggs Sean O’Sullivan is here to see him.”
“Okay, wait here.” The guy closed the door in our faces.
I shared a look with Loch.
“Wait for it,” Loch said, amusement playing at his lips.
There was a crashing and shouting before the door was pulled open by a
panting, red-faced Briggs.
“Mr O’Sullivan. I’m so sorry my associate left you outside. He will be
dealt with.”
I nodded. “Taking on an apprentice?” I asked as I crossed the threshold.
Jesus wept. The place was a hoarder’s paradise. I wasn’t sitting down in
here.
“Come through. The front room is for cover.”
“And for breeding rats,” Loch muttered, his jaw straining.
I watched him pull some vinyl gloves on.
“You want to stay out here? I asked him, gesturing at the piles of mess
just to fuck with him.
He looked unimpressed and didn’t answer. I smirked, feeling better
already. Pulling Loch’s leg made up half my fun.
“Would you like a drink?” Briggs asked.
“No.”
We moved through the back room, full of screens and machines. You
could see the floor, but it was hardly tidy, and Loch’s jaw did not loosen.
“How can I help?” Briggs asked.
The skinny guy from the door reappeared, holding a rag to his lip.
“A past client file.”
Briggs ran a hand through his thinning hair. “I maintain client
confidentiality.”
I unclipped my gun from my shoulder holster and held it loosely.
His eyes widened.
“You mistook my statement for a question,” I replied.
“Yes, yes, of course. Which file?”
“Amy Shelton.”
He twitched and moved toward the back wall, filled with bookshelves
overflowing with folders. After a few minutes of ragged breathing, he
returned with a slim folder he had taken from inside a larger one.
“Here it is.”
I flipped the cover open, and Amy’s pale face, looking much younger
than the photo on her passport, stared up at me.
“Had to age that one up. Excellent work, I’d say.”
I listened to him boast about his techniques as blood pounded in my
ears. I flipped the sheets over. Rosa Cortes. The date of birth glared out at
me like a punch in the gut.
“How old was she when she came to you?”
Our employment record said she was twenty-seven, but the date of birth
on his paperwork didn’t match ours.
He peered over my shoulder, and the smell of stale cigarettes invaded
my nostrils, making my eye twitch. Fecking hell, this suit would need dry
cleaning.
“She was a young one. There, fifteen.” He pointed as if I couldn’t read
or do simple maths.
He adjusted himself, and I barely stopped myself in time from painting
the wall with his brains. I clenched my teeth and blew out a breath. Loch
tensed next to me, reading my body language.
“What’s your interest? Has she been stealing from you?” Briggs licked
his lips, his face eager.
It pissed me off even further that his immediate assumption was that she
was a thief.
“Something like that,” I muttered.
Stole my fucking sanity.
I flipped the folder closed and handed it to Loch. To his credit, he
tucked it into his jacket without wiping it down, keeping his hands free. The
skinny guy backed toward the door, so at least someone was reading the
room.
“How does a fifteen-year-old pay for an adult ID? Your prices aren’t
cheap.”
Red tinted the edge of my vision, and blood pounded in my ears.
He smirked disgustingly. “I cut her a deal.”
I hummed in my throat, the rage burning like an incinerator. I knew
instantly what this piece of shite was going to say. I wasn’t sure if I could
hear the confirmation, so I changed the subject for a minute, thinking I
could get something more valuable from this visit besides rabies.
“How’s your apprenticeship going?” I turned to the guy who was
retreating from the room.
He gulped wide-eyed.
“The little shit only makes coffee,” Briggs blustered.
The skinny guys’ fear transformed into a mask of irritation. “So if I left,
you’d still put out all the IDs you do? Your dinosaur methods are outdated,”
he spat.
“Watch your mouth, boy. If you want money to keep your mother in
those fancy nurses, you’ll shut the fuck up.”
That hit far too close to home.
“Tell me what she paid you.” I swung back to Briggs.
“She let me break that pussy in. Nothing quite like a virgin.”
The movement of my arm was reflexive, and the bang was loud. Brigg’s
face exploded, splashing blood across the screen behind him as he and his
body slumped to the ground.
“Fuck. I thought you’d take him back to the warehouse,” Loch said.
He didn’t deserve to breathe any longer. The crazed beast inside me that
had already marked the hummingbird as mine demanded immediate
retribution. I closed my eyes, forcing away images of my underaged
hummingbird beneath Brigg’s sweaty frame. The bile burned my throat.
The skinny guy whimpered, pulling my attention back from those
horrifying images.
“Congratulations, you’ve just inherited his business. How much of this
junk do you need?” I asked him.
“M-my laptop and some of the equipment,” he stammered.
“None of the files?”
He scoffed, a flash of his irritation returning. “No. The idiot thought that
piles of shit in the living room would prevent cops from searching the
place. All of this is incriminating. I keep my stuff on secure servers.”
“Nothing is truly secure. Come and work for me. I’ll hook you up with
my tech guy. Operate under my protection. We’ll work out a suitable cut,
and I’ll put plenty of work your way.”
“My mother—”
“Bring her with you. We have houses.”
“The nurses—”
“Done.”
He shook himself off. “Okay.” He strode over to his old boss and kicked
him. “Fuck you, prick.”
I would have laughed, but the edgy, twitchy feeling inside left me far
from humorous.
“Call a clean-up crew and have them bring a spare van to fill up,” I told
Loch, then gestured to the skinny guy, not knowing his name.
“Smith.”
I almost rolled my eyes at the irony of working on fake IDs with the last
name of Smith. “Set Smith up with what he needs.”
Loch nodded.
“My guys will be here shortly. Make sure you tell them what you need
loading, then get your shit from your house.”
Loch handed me a burner.
“Call me when you are leaving,” I said, handing the phone to Smith.
I tucked my gun away and strode out of the house with agitation
crawling all over me. Loch was right. There wasn’t enough violence to
satisfy the blood lust that pumped through me. I needed to smash and break
things.
“You want to spar?” Loch asked, pulling his door open and speaking
over the top of the car.
“Nah, Rada won’t like it if I mess up your pretty face before the
wedding.” I rapped my knuckles on the roof. “Who takes a fifteen-year-
old’s virginity as payment?”
“Sick fucking paedos, that’s who,” Loch spat, climbing into the driver’s
seat.
“Fuck.” I glared at my hands. “We should have taken him to the
warehouse.”
Loch started the car with a shrug. “No one listens to me.”
I stared out of the window. The plot had thickened around my beautiful
hummingbird. What was she hiding from?
“Take us to Carlisle Road,” I said.
“Can we get some fish and chips if we are going to sit staring at a
stairwell all afternoon?” Loch groused.
The big eejit was always eating.
“If you get them,” I conceded.
My thoughts turned back to her as we headed towards her flat, which I
may or may not have sat outside for part of last night. Rosa. I wasn’t sure
how much I liked her real name. I’d stick with Amy or hummingbird.
“Anyway, we won’t be staring at the stairwell. I’m going inside.”
“Fecking hell,” Loch grumbled as we re-joined the motorway.
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Smeltering, the cheesily named bar was reasonably classy inside. Wooden
floors and an expansive bar with multiple booths created a clean, fresh look
– nothing like the dim lighting and sticky floors at Mystique Mirage.
Rosie towed me over to the bar and insisted on buying me a Diet Coke
before she pulled me closer to the huddle of supervisors. Unfortunately, I
hadn’t thought this through as Harrison was there. He narrowed his eyes at
me as we walked closer. My heart thudded irregularly. Thankfully, he
walked off as we arrived, and Rosie immediately started talking to Lester. I
stood awkwardly, wondering exactly what she’d need me for until she
asked Lester about a problem I apparently had with a patient. Resisting the
urge to stomp on Rosie’s foot to shut her up, I nodded and winged it as
Lester quizzed me.
His questions got more in-depth, and I excused myself to go to the
toilet, tossing Rosie a look. She could have warned me to have a fake
patient ready to go. I was no stranger to making things up as I went along,
but I preferred notice. I headed for the toilet sign and turned into the
corridor.
A pain in my upper arm flared as someone grabbed me roughly. No! I
gasped and twisted away, breaking the hold. Harrison’s red face came into
view as he went to grab me again, but I dodged him.
“What the hell?” I said.
“You think it’s okay for your fucking boyfriend to appear in the clinic
and threaten me? That there would be no consequences? You fucking bitch.
You can kiss goodbye to any offers from Sheffield dentists. You’ll be lucky
to pass,” he hissed, spittle flying from the corners of his mouth.
My heart leapt and then sank.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
Harrison scoffed. “Your fuck buddy, then.”
“I’m not fucking him. I didn’t know he threatened you.”
Harrison sneered, but the fine tremble in his hands gave him away. A
small savage part of me wondered why, if Harrison thought he was my
boyfriend, confronting me would work. But then his colossal ego didn’t
permit much common sense.
Harrison ran a hand through his hair and appeared to compose himself.
“If that’s so, you better make it up to me. Help me forget and make me
less likely to tank your career before it starts. And don’t tell your not-
boyfriend, or you’ll be sorry.”
“How do I make it up to you?” My stomach churned.
“I’m sure you can think of something if you’ve been sucking two-bit
gangster dick,” he spat and turned on his heel.
I leaned against the wall, my breathing choppy. Why was it always a
sexual exchange with men? I’d cleaned my life up and clawed my way back
to my feet over the past decade, and I thought I was over this kind of
bullshit. I might strip to pay my tuition, but I no longer offered extras. I was
so close to my goal and the chance to leave that behind, and now this.
A fine tremble overtook me as my adrenaline dipped, and I staggered
into the ladies to splash my face with cold water. The girl in the mirror
looked pale and frightened with unfamiliar blonde hair. I swiped at the
reflection, hating myself for this moment of weakness. Get it together.
I took a deep breath and headed back out to the bar. Rosie was still
talking animatedly to Lester, and I didn’t want to be the third wheel,
especially while I felt shaky. I headed to the bar and ordered some peanuts
for something to do. The hairs on my neck prickled as I waited for my
change. Behind the bar was mirrored, and I searched for the source of the
feeling.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw his dark features. Sean’s stare was
just as intense as when I’d been practically naked, and I hated the butterflies
it set in motion in my stomach. The bald man and the two suits were with
him. He crooked a finger at me.
Fuck. Seeing him here was the last thing I needed. Was it a coincidence,
or was he following me? Something told me nothing was a coincidence
with this man.
The barman handed me my change, and I stared at the coins for a few
seconds before gripping them tightly in my palm. I would see what he
wanted and then leave. The alarm I’d set with a ringtone to pretend Cat was
calling me for a lift was due to go off soon, which would help me escape.
Staring at the wood grain on the floor, I headed directly for his booth.
As I neared the table, I glanced up, and his eyes were on me, but the men he
was with were all looking away.
“Fancy meeting you here. That’s three for three.” He grinned widely,
and that damn dimple appeared.
Attraction rushed through me, and I gritted my back teeth. I would not
end up like my mamá.
“What a coincidence.” I kept my tone light, but the giant bald man’s lips
twitched as if he might smile.
“Sit down and have a drink,” he said.
“Thank you, but I need to return to my friends,” I answered politely.
“You mistook that for a request,” he replied, still smiling.
Irritation burned through me. This man was toying with me. I perched
on the edge of the booth. Sean leaned forward, crowding me with his rich
scent.
“Tell me, what did that melter say to you?” His eyes were startlingly
green this close, and I didn’t stifle the hitch in my breathing at his
proximity.
“What?”
“That supervisor of yours. You went to the ladies annoyed, and you
returned upset. I saw him reappear just before you did. Ergo, he is the one
who upset you.”
“He didn’t—”
He pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me.
“Don’t lie to me. We’ve moved past the ‘no comprende’ bullshit.”
I leaned back, letting his finger fall away. “Why did you threaten him?”
“I threaten everyone. He’s nothing special.” He shrugged. “Except
maybe a special kind of stupid.” He motioned to one of the suits, who
strode off into the bar.
I shook my head. These men were playing games with me.
“Harrison could sink my career before it’s even started.” My voice
choked as I stood up. “Please leave me alone,” I said, turning and walking
back towards Rosie.
“Too late for that, hummingbird.” His voice followed me, and I closed
my eyes at the nickname.
Maybe I needed to look at dental school transfers.
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J olting awake , I tangled with my sheets and dropped off the side of the
bed, jarring my left side as I landed. My heart thudded against my ribs as
memories of my mamá’s body swam in front of my eyes. The dream had
been so real. I untwisted myself and hauled myself off the floor, shivering
as the cool air hit my sweaty limbs. I shuffled off to the shower to try to
wash away the images. They were a stark reminder of where getting tangled
up with dangerous men got you.
The rest of Saturday was a total wash. I tried to study, but I couldn’t
settle into anything. He invaded my every thought. And each time it
happened, a pit in my stomach appeared as I remembered Mamá’s fate.
Maybe because I didn’t have a normal teenage life, all those stupid crush
feelings they talk about in TV shows were showing up now. It was
ridiculous, as I’d barely spoken to the guy. All he’d done was order me
about. Why was he consuming my thoughts? His tip money had helped as it
secured my rent for the next few months, but I knew it was deeper than that.
It was the attention. His intense focus on me was heady.
For years, I blended in, hiding and getting by, slowly getting closer to
realising the dream I swore I would achieve. There was no room for
relationships. Sex was transactional, something to use as a last resort. Never
something to look forward to. Sean’s appearance in my life stirred feelings
inside me I’d never experienced, and it reminded me how lonely I’d grown.
I had friends, but none of them knew me. But a few days in his orbit, he
made me feel like he saw me. It had me wanting to do something stupid.
Thoughts like these harassed me on the drive to the club. In the dressing
room, I fretted about defying Sean and then got annoyed that I was even
bothering. You aren’t property. I swiped the winged liner on aggressively,
going for a heavy hand tonight. Sparkly black eyeshadow completed my
dark look.
In the mirror, I spotted Larry poking his head around the door.
“Amy? You’re needed in the office.”
My stomach dropped. Surely not?
“Fucking hell, are you banging the security too?” Kelsie screeched.
“Put your claws away, Kelsie. We don’t need your bullshit tonight.”
Michelle pointed her lipstick at her.
Kelsie flipped her off and flounced away. I sent Michelle a grateful
smile, debating whether to grab my robe, but I had little booty shorts on
tonight and a bikini top. Fuck it.
I strode out of the changing room, wiping my sweaty hands on my
shorts and feigning more calm than I felt. Larry fell into step with me.
“I’m sorry to call you out here, but will you look at my tooth?”
I stopped dead. “What?”
This wasn’t about Sean?
“Listen, I know you told me not to say anything about your degree, and
I swear I haven’t, but my filling fell out.” He held his cheek on the left,
pointing inside his mouth. “I’ve had a toothache all day; I can’t eat anything
hot or cold, and I can’t get into my dentist until next week.”
I glanced around uneasily. Larry often walked me to my car, and he saw
my dental school information and textbooks. He agreed to keep it between
us.
“We aren’t in a dental clinic here, Larry. And I’m not qualified.”
“I know, but I googled it and got a temporary filling kit, and I thought
maybe you could look.”
“It would be better to get an emergency appointment.”
“I’m supposed to be working all weekend,” he pleaded.
I caved at his puppy dog eyes.
“Okay, but I haven’t got any equipment, and I might not be able to do
much,” I told him as we headed for the office.
Since Kia arrived, the office looked tidier, although it still smelled
strongly of cigarette smoke from Teresa’s habit. I sat Larry in the swivel
chair, letting it down to its lowest point so I could lean over and look into
his mouth.
“Have you got a light on your phone?” I asked him, standing on my
tiptoes.
He nodded and put it on, passing it to me.
“Lean your head over the back of the chair.” I grabbed the phone and
looked along the top left row of teeth. Half of his first molar was missing.
“What the fuck is going on?” a familiar deep voice bellowed.
I leapt in fright, falling forward over Larry as the chair spun. Larry
grunted as he caught me. We whirled around to face the door where Sean
stood holding a gun, his handsome face a mask of fury.
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The church service was mercifully short, and surprisingly, Father Torin had
got through it without shitting himself. Most of the time, the fear I invoked
was helpful, but not always. I was happy for Loch and Rada, but the need to
return to my hummingbird itched inside me. They were disgustingly lovey-
dovey. I was wondering why I even returned to the house with them. Loch,
the lovesick eejit, had tattooed Rada’s name across his chest. And she was
gazing at him like he hung the moon. I snatched a bottle of whiskey off the
shelf for a toast, not in the slightest bit jealous.
“He’s never tattooed my name anywhere, so you ought to be proud,” I
said, passing them both a filled glass.
“Feck off. Why would I want your name tattooed on me?” Loch said.
“Touché,” I said, toasting them.
Dashing back the whiskey, I enjoyed the burn and considered the merits
of tattooing Amy’s name on me. Which name would I use?
“I’ll leave you lovebirds to it.” I knocked my knuckles on the bar and
headed out.
I didn’t wish to be nearby for the marriage consummation.
Ian drove to the club, and my mood had soured by the time we arrived
at the car park. Kia texted me that Amy had arrived for her shift. I told her
to send her to the VIP room. It seemed my exotic little bird hadn’t heeded
my warning yesterday, so I would need to be more explicit in my directions.
I might be resisting the urge to snatch her off the street, but that didn’t mean
I was okay with her dancing for other men.
Outside the club, there was no sign of Niko lingering around, so I
headed for the office. I needed to speak to Kia before seeing my
hummingbird. Throwing the door open, the scene that greeted me tightened
my throat.
Amy was leaning over a guy in a chair. Her hair fell around them,
hiding both their faces, but her tits were threatening to fall from a string
bikini. Blood pounded in my ears, and my gun was in my hand in an
instant.
“What the fuck is going on?” I bellowed as my usual cool evaporated.
Amy squealed and fell across the man, and the chair spun wildly.
I seized her arm, yanking her off him and levelling my gun at his chest.
The security guard’s eyes widened, and he threw his hands up.
“No! Wait,” Amy shouted, hurling herself in front of my gun.
The red mist descended on my vision at her defending him, but I jerked
the gun away from her.
“Out of the way.”
“No, wait! I was checking Larry’s tooth. He-he’s lost a filling.” Her blue
eyes were wide, and her hands were outstretched like I was a wild animal.
“He’s about to lose more than a filling, a chuisle,” I ground out, my
trigger finger twitching.
“Wait, wait! I have a wife and kids. Honestly, Amy was checking my
tooth. Please, Mr O’Sullivan, I would never touch her.” The dead man
blubbered from the seat.
“Your hands were all over her,” I gritted out.
“S-she fell.”
“Stop this.” Amy’s fiery eyes met mine. “He knows I’m a dental
student. He’s lost a filling.”
“What’s going on?” Kia entered, eyeing my gun and everyone’s
position. “Do we have a problem?”
“Only your security guard’s hands all over my woman,” I said through
clenched teeth.
“I was checking his tooth!” Amy threw up her hands.
I searched her face for a lie. She rolled her eyes at me, and I realised I
was acting like my father. That dimmed my violent desire to attack the guy.
Marginally.
“Larry, you need to call the emergency dentist. That tooth will need a
root canal.”
The security guard scrambled to his feet and backed away towards Kia.
“Take the rest of the weekend off. Get your tooth fixed, Larry,” Kia
said, her eyes on mine, silently asking if we were good.
Honestly, I didn’t know. The predator inside me tracked Larry’s
movements to the door. Glaring until he disappeared. I nodded mutely at
Kia, holstering my gun and reaching for my usual calm.
“Can you give us a minute?” Kia asked Amy.
Amy looked between us, her eyes flashing.
“Wait for me in the VIP room,” I barked as she stalked out.
My hand twitched as I watched her leave.
“Is there something else I need to know besides you claiming the
dancer?” Kia asked, moving behind her desk.
“Amy, her name is Amy,” I barked.
Kia nodded solemnly. “Claiming Amy.”
I forced myself to breathe deeply, reminding myself my problem wasn’t
with Kia and I did, in fact, need her. It took a few moments to clear my
head.
“The Stefanov gang have been staking out the club.”
Kia narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
I debated how much to tell her.
“Targeting girls for trafficking.”
“Fucking pigs,” Kia spat.
“I need all the clubs reviewed.”
“You want me off this location?”
“Not yet. Can you handle both if you extend your time here? I’ll make it
worth your while.”
“You always do. That’s why I work for you.” She flipped her laptop
open. “Does Larry need a P45?”
“The jury’s out.”
His widow would be getting his death-in-service benefit if I had
anything to do with it.
“Amy?”
“She’s in the VIP room with me until further notice. Not out on the
floor.”
Kia smirked and nodded. “I’ll check in on the older clubs and let you
know. You’ve been to the new ones, right?”
Not much passed her notice regarding the clubs, so it wasn’t surprising
that she’d heard about the other visits. I nodded, then headed back out to the
VIP room, the need for violence still at the forefront of my mind.
The VIP room was empty, and irritation slammed back into me. Did she
think defying me was a fun game?
I headed back towards the changing rooms, bursting through the door.
Screams rang out as dancers covered themselves, and my vision zeroed in
on my hummingbird, dressed for the street, standing by her locker.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I barked, stalking over to her.
Fear flared in her eyes as she clutched her bag to her chest. I bent over
and tossed her over my shoulder, bag and all.
“Put me down!” she shrieked, her tiny fists hitting my back
ineffectually.
I strode down the private corridor to the VIP section and hauled her
inside the private room we’d been in last night. Jesus wept. Had it been less
than twenty-four hours? This woman had me in bits.
None too gently, I tossed her down on the couch, and she bounced,
glaring at me. Instant arousal shot through me at the sight of that fire. I
imagined turning her arse red and then feeding her my cock.
“What part of ‘wait for me in the VIP room’ was unclear?” I said,
bringing my weight down on top of her.
“I’m not your plaything. You are a psychopath! You nearly killed Larry
because you’re crazy.”
“For his sake, I suggest you don’t mention him again,” I ground out as
she wiggled beneath me.
I hardened against her soft curves.
“You can’t threaten everyone I speak to.”
I most definitely could.
She shoved at my shoulder, and I caught both her hands, pinning them
with one of mine.
“You had your tits in his face!”
“Checking his tooth!” she screamed back. “I’m a dental student and a
stripper. In both roles, I lean over people, including men.”
I paused, contemplating that problem. I had a perfect solution, but
judging by her spitting cat routine, it might not be the best time to discuss it.
“Why were you leaving?” I leaned on my other hand, lifting a fraction
of my weight off her.
“Why do you think?” She sighed. “I can’t do this.” She deflated beneath
me, the fight draining from her as she averted her eyes. “What’s it going to
take? A blow job? Sex? Once? Weekly? What will it take for you to leave
me alone?”
Stilling, I studied her. I was used to begging and bartering. Worthless
men would promise the world to save their miserable hides. But watching
her offer something no doubt lesser men would take her up on flared
uncontrolled anger through me. I knew one dead man who certainly had.
How many men had she appeased by trading her body?
“I don’t think I’ve made myself clear, a chuisle. While I want all those
things with you, they will not be exchanged for leaving you alone. You are
mine now. It might be fast, but that’s the reality.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at me, and the savage part of
me wanted that shattered look just like it wanted the fire. She was mine to
push to the limit and bring back.
“Yours to be kept in a cage. Yours to be passed around to entertain your
friends while you fuck whoever you like.” She closed her eyes, and the
tears fell. “Yours to dispose of when you get tired of me.”
The black heart inside my chest clenched at the sight of her despair. My
broken hummingbird. But I wouldn’t have her compare us to her mother’s
fate.
I swiped a salty droplet as I cupped her cheek, rubbing the moisture
across her skin.
“There will be no sharing. No one else for either of us.”
She scoffed. “Sure.”
“You don’t need to believe me. I’ll show you.”
She didn’t answer. I studied her stunning features, wanting to ruin her
for anyone but me, but not like this.
“Let’s get something to eat.” I lifted off her and pulled her up.
She stumbled to her feet, staring at me incredulously.
“You’re serious?”
I nodded.
She shook her head, shrugging. “Why not.”
Admittedly, it was not the most enthusiastic response I’d ever had, but
she was either coming with me on her feet or over my shoulder. Because if I
laid on top of her much longer, I’d end up breaking my promise.
We walked in silence as I guided her toward the back entrance, where
Ian was waiting. A familiar-looking red vehicle moved off from across the
street, and I hustled Amy toward the Range Rover, gun in hand. The
Stefanovs were pushing their luck, and Amy’s time for coming with me
willingly was running out.
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T he nice - smelling Range Rover looked even posher in the daylight. After
arguing with Sean about going out today, I realised talking to him was like
talking to a brick wall. We were en route somewhere, but he refused to tell
me where. I patted my hair nervously. Sean insisted I keep my natural
colour. It had been a long time since I had gone out during the day without
my wig.
The phone rang, and he glanced at me before answering it hands-free.
“O’Sullivan.”
“Mr O’Sullivan, it is James, the head carer on shift today at Clearviews.
I’m sorry to call you on a Sunday morning.”
Sean’s whole body tensed. “Is it urgent?”
“I’m afraid so, sir. Your mother is very distressed. She’s barricaded
herself in the storeroom and is demanding to see Connall.”
“Jesus fecking Christ,” Sean muttered, glancing at me again. “I’ll be
there in half an hour.”
“Thank you.” The relief in the man’s voice was palpable.
“Shite.” Sean looked torn as he clicked the call off.
“It’s okay if you’ve got a family emergency. Just drop me off anywhere,
and I’ll get a taxi.”
“Absolutely not. We’re together now, and you might as well see the
madness you signed up for.”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. I didn’t remember signing up
for anything. Was I about to meet his mum? It sounded like she was in a
facility. Sean would probably grow tired of me soon, so why did meeting
his family feel nerve-wracking?
We drove in silence, and Sean’s previously cheerful mood disappeared.
Eventually, we pulled up in front of a large building with a partly glass
front. Off to the side was a lake. The sign proclaimed, “Clearviews. A home
to relax in.”
Sean helped me out of the car, and the ever-silent ginger-haired suit I’d
learned was called Ian stood next to us, looking alert and fierce in his black
suit.
Once inside the lobby, a carer rushed to us and introduced himself as
James. Sean didn’t ask many questions, leading me to believe this wasn’t
unusual. We rose in the lift, and the doors opened to show a group of people
clustered at the far end of the corridor. A few of them visibly shrank away
as Sean strode up the corridor. I would have done the same without Sean’s
towing me forward.
“She’s in here?” he asked James.
He nodded, sweat beading on his brow. “We’ve got the sedative ready.”
“Ma?” Sean’s voice boomed in the hushed corridor.
There was some scuffling and then a muffled female voice. “Connall?”
Sean sighed and cleared his throat. “Mary! Get your little arse out here
now.”
I glanced at him. It seemed strange to say that to his mum, but his jaw
was set, and his furious eyes met mine, then darted away. I squeezed his
hand, and he glanced down at the connection. He squeezed my hand back,
his eyes remaining on the door. The scuffling and scraping grew louder
now.
The door cracked open, and a thin woman with a cloud of frizzy
strawberry blonde hair peeked out. Sean immediately wedged his foot
inside.
“Mary. Come out now.”
The look in her pale blue eyes was clouded. She studied his face,
blinking.
“Connall?” She opened the door wide and flung herself into Sean’s
arms. He caught her one-handed. “Where have you been? These fuckers
tried to kidnap me. Kill them all!” she shrieked, dropping back to her feet
and gesturing around.
She stilled as she noticed Sean’s hand in mine.
“Who the fuck is this floozy? Is this where you’ve been? I’ll fucking
kill her.” She launched herself at me with clawed hands.
I stumbled backwards against the corridor wall. Sean spun me away. Ian
blocked her, and she caught his face, dragging her nails down before Sean
captured her hands. She hissed and spat, trying to get at me. The hatred and
fury on her face made me shiver as my heart pounded in my throat.
“Any fecking time now.” Sean bellowed at the surrounding staff.
James jumped forward with a syringe and jammed it into Mary’s leg as
Ian held them steady. She turned her anger on the carer, twisting from
Sean’s grip, and caught James’ face with a slap. Sean hoisted her over his
shoulder and strode off back along the corridor with her screaming and
thrashing at his back. He pivoted into a room we had passed earlier.
I jumped when a hand landed on my arm. Ian’s face had three long
bleeding scratches.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
He merely nodded and escorted me towards the room. One carer looked
frozen as we passed.
“Can you bring me some saline and gauze, please?” I asked her.
She took a few moments to process what I said. I gestured at Ian’s face,
and she nodded, hurrying off.
“Doc will sort it out when we get home,” Ian said.
His voice was a deep gravel, his Irish accent fainter than Sean’s.
“Does Sean need me?”
Ian gave me a look I couldn’t decipher, and we both peered into the
room. Mary was on the bed now, rolling her head listlessly.
“Sean?” she whispered, her eyes filled with tears.
“Yes, Ma. I’m here.” Sean’s voice was weary and nothing like I’d heard
from him before.
“Where’s your father?” She frowned at him.
“He’s dead, Ma.”
She began weeping, and my stomach dropped. I pulled my head out of
the room, not wanting to intrude. My heart broke for Sean and his mum.
The carer reappeared, and I was grateful for something to do. I took the
saline sachets with shaky hands and soaked the gauze.
“Let me clean those.” I gestured for Ian to lean down.
“The boss won’t like that.”
“Psst. You got injured defending him. Scratches can get infected.” I
leaned on my tiptoes and wiped the gauze over his cuts.
After a few passes, I removed the drying blood and cleaned the wounds.
“What the fuck is going on?” Sean appeared seething and glaring at Ian.
I leaned back from where I’d balanced on his arm.
“I’m cleaning his scratches. They will need some cream to prevent them
from scarring.”
“Don’t touch my men,” he barked.
Ian stepped away, tensing like he’d been electrocuted.
I glared at Sean. “He’s injured.”
“I don’t care if his fecking arms are hanging off. He can see the doctor
when we get home.”
I swallowed my argument, remembering the scene inside the room.
“Is your mum okay?”
“No.” Sean ran a scratched-up hand down his face. “She’s resting now.”
He turned back to James. “Lock the fecking storeroom. Let me know how
she is later.”
He took my arm and steered me back to the lift. Ian fell into step behind
us. The silence as we descended was tense.
“You don’t have to tell me, but will she be okay?” I asked as we exited
Clearviews.
Sean’s steps slowed as he looked down at me. He nodded to Ian, who
headed for the car. Sean gestured toward the lake, and we walked toward
the body of water. A set of swans floated just offshore.
“Only Ian, Craig, and Loch know about this place,” he said.
I nodded, not sure what to say.
“My father was a brutal man, but he loved my mother in his own way.
Perhaps a little too much.” He shook his head, coming to stand on the bank.
“The O’Sullivan males always go off the deep end with their chosen
woman.” He cast a glance up and down me, sending a shiver through my
body.
“He drank and fought a lot; maybe he hit his head one too many times,
but the old man got paranoid. Began accusing Ma of cheating.” He shook
his head. “As if she would. She worshipped the ground that shite stain
walked on.”
I laid a hand on his arm, and he immediately pulled me into his body.
He rested his chin on my head as we faced the water.
“He began knocking her around, and she hid it from me. One day, he
flew into a rage. He told her he knew she’d cheated on him and he’d killed
the man. He’d beaten her half to death before I found them.” His voice
cracked.
I stifled a sob imagining the scene. One that was far too close to what
happened to Mamá.
“What happened?” I whispered.
“I beat him to death instead.” He brought his hands together across my
front and rubbed over his scarred knuckles. “The irony of him teaching me
to be a fighter.”
The pain in Sean’s voice, mingled with the horror coursing through me,
had tears spilling from my eyes and soaking into his jacket.
“It was a long time ago. But she never recovered. Traumatic brain
injury, they said. Sometimes, she recognises me. Sometimes, she thinks I’m
him.” He shook his head. “I’m a lot of things, but not him,” he muttered.
I probably ought to be horrified by the fact he beat his father to death,
but my mind raced forward and imagined my mamá. The desire to kill those
responsible for her death still burned inside me. The regret that I couldn’t
do what Sean did for his mother made me squeeze him to comfort us both.
Sean didn’t explain further, and his bold declaration hung in the air as
we watched the swans paddle away. We stood quietly for a long time.
His phone vibrated at my back, and he pulled it from his pocket.
“Yes?” he barked. “I’ll deal with it.”
He cut the call and stuffed the phone back into his pocket.
“I’m sorry, a chuisle. I need to take you home while I sort something
out.”
“Okay,” I said, turning and hugging him.
He tipped my head up and took a slow kiss from my lips.
It had hardly been a dream date, but it had shifted my view of him. I
still did not know what we were to each other, but I’d softened towards the
brutal man. We shared more pain than I’d realised. The drive back was
silent, and I wondered whether to throw my rules out of the window and see
where this went.
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The pitiful lock clicked open on Amy’s front door, and I resolved to get a
locksmith to her in the morning. Better yet, I’d replace the door. The flat
was dark as I walked to Amy’s bedroom. A clock on her dresser displayed
two thirty. I cracked my neck from side to side and undressed. Checking the
safety of my gun, I slid it under the pillow at her head and climbed in
behind her.
“Wa?” she mumbled.
“Go back to sleep, a chuisle.” I pressed a kiss to her fragrant hair.
“Sean?”
“Shhh.” I pressed my back to the wall and hauled her smaller body
against mine.
The tension of the day melted away as I held her. Many things were
wrong right now, but she wasn’t one of them.
Her alarm went off at six, and her groan vibrated against me.
“Oh. I thought it was a dream.” She lifted her head, blinking sleepily at
me.
In the night, she gravitated to my chest again, like a comfy pillow. My
internal alarm woke me at five, and I spent an hour staring at her.
“Do you dribble every time you sleep?” I asked her, and she ducked her
head.
“It’s rude to point out when people drool, especially if you sneak into
their bed uninvited. How did you get in?”
“My key.” I stretched, popping out my back.
“Your…” Her gaze slipped down my body. “Your what?”
“My key. I took your spare one and made a copy. A company is coming
today, and they’ll be upgrading the door and locks.”
“What? You can’t do that. Our landlord must agree on modifications, or
we could be fined.”
“Not if your landlord wants to keep his kneecaps.”
It occurred to me that I could buy this place, but that would be a slow
process. A phone call would set things straight, and she wouldn’t live here
much longer.
“Come on. Get ready for your clinic, and I’ll drive you there.”
She spluttered for a few seconds before shaking her head. Good. It
would be better for her if she followed my plans.
After another breakfast delivered by Craig and more curious looks from
Catherine, the housemate, I pulled up outside the dental school, tamping
down a growl at the thought of her leaning over the great unwashed of
Sheffield.
Feck. How was I going to cope with her chosen career?
“I’ll pick you up at five.”
“It’s fine. I have an appointment in town, so I’ll walk there.”
“I’ll take you to the appointment.”
“It’s fine.”
“I know it is.” I got out and walked around to her door.
She gave me an exasperated look as she got out and then waved at a girl
I’d seen her with when I visited her clinic.
“I don’t need you to take me everywhere.”
I pulled her against me and kissed her. I hated the blonde wig she had
on, but I resisted tearing it off.
“See you later, a chuisle.” I pulled away, enjoying her dazed look and
her taste on my tongue.
She would eventually learn that I got what I wanted.
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“O h my god , is that the hunky man meat from the clinic last week? You sly
fox,” Rosie hissed at me as I walked over.
She bounced on her feet and hooked her arm around mine. I could feel
Sean’s scorching stare at my back.
“Maybe.”
“Are you banging him?”
“Yes,” I told her a partial truth.
In reality, I wasn’t sure what we were. While he tempted me like no one
I’d ever met, he still worried me. Or at least what he did concerned me. He
never explicitly said he was involved in organised crime, but the guy
screamed mafia leader.
“Wow. Is he good?”
I hummed, not wanting to get into specifics but unable to deny the small
amount of fooling around we’d done had rocked my world. I was no
stranger to sex, but orgasms were like unicorns with glittery poop until Sean
blew into my life.
Rosie chattered as we walked through the dental school until we parted
to put our stuff away and check the patient list for the day.
The day passed in a blur. Pleasantly, Harrison wasn’t around. We
finished slightly early, and I found Craig outside, standing next to a black
Audi. My steps faltered, and he walked over.
“The boss was running late and asked me to drive you to your
appointment.”
“That wasn’t necessary,” I said, accepting the lift. It looked like rain,
and I hated getting drenched. “How is Ian’s face?” I asked.
“He’s fine. But if you keep asking after him, it won’t remain that way,”
he said, opening the back door for me.
I slid in, thinking about that ridiculous statement and Sean’s jealous
streak. It shouldn’t have pleased me, but in a twisted way, it did. I gave
Craig the address in town. He’d have to drop me outside because it was on
the tram tracks. Indeed, he didn’t look happy when we pulled up.
“You don’t need to escort me inside.” I dived out of the car and rushed
across the pavement into the small salon. Carmel greeted me and took my
coat.
“River will be with you in a moment. Do you want a drink?”
“I’m fine, thanks.” I glanced out the window, checking Craig wasn’t
about to come bowling inside with his men-in-black routine.
River glided out with a client and handed them over to Carmel.
“Sweetie, it’s been too long.” He gestured me into a room at the back.
He opened my file on the counter next to the couch. “It’s been what?
Six months? Have you noticed much regrowth?”
“More on my legs than anything.”
“Hmmm. They can be tougher as they are finer. But it’s easier with dark
hair because I know your collar doesn’t match your cuffs.” He gestured at
my wig.
I told him I dyed my hair when I started coming here for laser
treatments. Waxing frequently was a pain, so I saved up for the laser course
for my legs and bikini line. Now, I just did six monthly top-ups.
“I’ll leave you to change, and you can tell me all about those men that
pant over you. You still haven’t taught me any of your moves.”
I chuckled. Once he left, I stripped down to put on the gown. There was
a commotion outside, and the door burst open. Sean rushed inside, holding
River by the neck, who sputtered, turning red.
“Sean!”
“You better not have seen my woman undressed!” he fumed.
“Sean! He’s my laser technician. Put him down!” I grabbed Sean’s arm,
and the gown fell from my hands, leaving me in just my bra.
Sean growled and dropped River, yanking me against him and snatching
a towel off the side.
“Put your fucking clothes on!”
“I was putting on a gown when you burst in here.”
“Your pussy is on show.”
“That’s the idea with laser hair removal. Why did you think it was so
smooth?”
His eyes darkened. “Your arse is going to pay for that. I’m not okay
with having another man see what’s mine.”
“We’ve been through this, Sean. I’m a fucking stripper. Half the country
has seen the goods.”
He growled again, a full-on primal noise.
“Don’t you growl at me. River is gay. He’d rather look at drywall than
my foo-foo.”
“It’s true,” River gasped, clambering to his feet.
“I’m so sorry.” I grimaced at him.
“Don’t apologise to him!” Sean barked.
“Well, you aren’t going to.”
River looked more amused than frightened. “I take it you’ve got a new
man then, sweetie?”
“Don’t give her a pet name,” Sean growled.
I rolled my eyes at that.
“I still need my laser,” I said to Sean.
“He’s not doing it.”
“Fuck’s sake.” I threw my hands up, unable to cope with this
overbearing man.
“I’ll swap a client with Trisha,” River said, and I gave him another
apologetic look. Instead of looking annoyed, he made a fanning motion and
mouthed, “So hot.”
It was a good job that he didn’t mind cavemen because good laser
places were hard to find.
Eventually, after much persuasion, a terrified-looking Trisha appeared
to do the laser, and Sean agreed to stand outside.
“He’s terrifying,” she told me once she finished. “Are you okay?”
I knew what she meant, and I probably should have been more scared
by Sean’s behaviour, but currently, I was mortified.
“I’m fine. I’m just sorry about all the disruption.”
“Don’t worry, he’s not the first concerned boyfriend we’ve had in here.”
The term boyfriend somehow didn’t fit Sean, but I didn’t correct her.
Once I was dressed, she led me out to the desk, and Sean fell into step
behind me, his hand on my back. River was behind the counter, and he
smiled as we drew level.
“I’m so sorry.” I mouthed to him.
“Water under the bridge. Your man has taken care of your bill and then
some.” He glanced at Sean, whose icy glare could strike a man dead.
“I’ll…” He cleared his throat. “Trisha will see you in six months.”
I nodded to him, resolving to text him again to apologise. I grabbed my
coat and left the shop.
“The car is this way,” Sean said.
The rain hammered down on us, but I whirled around to face him.
“Why are you so obsessed with me?” I asked, pushing hair out of my
wet face.
“Because the moment I saw you, you became mine.”
“That’s like a kid saying I licked it, so it’s mine.” I threw up my hands.
“I seem to remember there was licking, too.” He wet his lips obscenely.
“You’re impossible.”
“Come on. Let’s get you home before I kill someone for looking at you
for too long.”
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S ean got a phone call after my disastrous laser appointment and was
forced to drop me home with a promise to return. It wasn’t until the
following day, when I woke plastered to his warm body, that I realised, yet
again, he’d snuck into my bedroom and climbed into bed with me. The rest
of the week was the same. Sean snuck into my bed after I’d fallen asleep
and took me to and from uni every day. He ensured I was in the VIP room
during the evenings I worked. I danced for him another three times. The
dancing skirted the line between foreplay and full-on sex. My reservations
over who he was fell away inside that room, and I danced just for him,
enjoying his sole focus.
It was dangerously addicting, and I realised I was at risk from a
different kind of danger. His actions were wearing my resolve down and
blurring the lines I placed around my heart. I feared now if he grew tired of
me, it might be worse than if he stayed. Was that why Mamá never got
away?
“Kia has taken you off the rota for tonight. I am taking you on a date,”
Sean announced, snapping me out of my thoughts as I returned to my room
from the shower.
It was Friday morning, and I’d been increasingly tempted to invite him
into our tiny bathroom as the week wore on, but “Aunt Flo” was visiting,
which saved me from cracking. Subsequently, I was experiencing sexual
frustration for the first time in my life, especially as I couldn’t just whip
Bob out of my drawer with Sean in my bed.
“Where are we going?” I wondered what he would say if he knew of
today’s significance.
“It’s a surprise.”
“How can I dress correctly if I don’t know where we are going?”
“I have something for you to wear.” He stood up, and his body
momentarily mesmerised me.
He chuckled, and my eyes flew to his face. “Here,” he said, holding out
a big flat box.
I’d not seen it in my haste to rush to the bathroom this morning.
Tugging my towel tighter, I laid the box on the bed and lifted the lid. A silky
black dress peaked out from a mass of tissue paper inside. I pulled it out,
and it rippled fluidly like water from thin spaghetti straps. The cowl neck
flowed up and over, leaving the back mostly exposed. It was stunning and
clearly expensive. Below the dress were a pair of black diamante-encrusted
heels with red bottoms.
“Wow.”
“You like it?”
“It’s stunning.”
“You’ll make it stunning.”
I blinked at him as something fluttered through my chest. I should have
known better than to be wowed by expensive gifts, but no one had ever
bought me something like this. No one looked at me the way he did. I
realised I was dangerously close to falling for Sean, and as I watched him
fish out his gun from underneath the pillow, I prayed it wasn’t a mistake.
The upright heaters pumped out heat, making the rooftop warmer than it
should have been in November. The night was clear, and the stars twinkled
above our heads.
Sean glanced around multiple times. More of his men lined the
restaurant than usual. Ian and Craig weren’t here. He’d been extra vigilant
since we left the house this morning. Despite the opulent surroundings on
the rooftop, it was setting my teeth on edge.
“I didn’t know somewhere like this existed in Sheffield.” I shifted in my
seat, trying to quell my stomach’s unease.
“The city is hosting more rich people than a decade ago.”
“Because of the Steel Brothers?” I questioned.
Sheffield was famous for its steel industry and the millionaire investors
who made the city their home.
“Liam would love that.” Sean snorted.
“Do you know them?”
“Liam is my cousin.”
“Really?” I paused my fidgeting.
I’d only seen pictures of the fierce-looking businessman but didn’t
notice any likeness to Sean.
“Distant cousins.”
“Some girls used to fantasise about them visiting our club one night.
Tanya had a poster of them from some men’s magazine in her locker.”
“Not you?” Sean leaned forward.
I smiled into my wine glasses. “Would it be a problem?”
Sean studied my face and sat back in his chair. “I don’t enjoy killing
family, but…” He shrugged.
“You are ridiculous.”
He didn’t answer as our starters arrived.
I gulped down my Mediterranean salad. I went for light choices because
this dress was beautiful but tight, and I didn’t need a food baby to
accessorise it. The food settled my stomach a little, and the next course of
gnocchi had a heavenly creamy sauce that complemented the wine. We
didn’t speak much, and I drank sparingly, not wanting to embarrass myself
again.
The sounds of the city were muted up here, but the lights twinkled
behind Sean. The main restaurant downstairs had created an exclusive
rooftop location. There weren’t many tables up here, and the others were
empty.
“Is everything okay?” I asked Sean, noticing the set of his jaw.
This man had many faces, but I’d grown to differentiate his masks from
those he gave me. He held my gaze momentarily, and emotion played
across his face.
“I have an important question.”
He stood up and approached my side of the table. My heartbeat picked
up as he dropped to one knee, and time stood still.
“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.
He produced a box and popped the lid open. The rock inside the box
was obscenely large. It glittered in the candlelight on the rooftop, and blood
thundered in my ears.
“Marry me?” His green eyes burned intensely into mine.
My mouth opened and closed a few times, and the air vanished from my
lungs. What? This was so sudden. He took advantage of my stunned state
and grabbed my hand, pushing the vast rock onto my left ring finger. I
stared down at it, dumbfounded.
“But…” I started, but he pushed forward and pressed his lips to mine,
silencing my words.
He didn’t drop my hand as he went to sit back down, and the sounds of
the city rushed back over me.
“Hang on. That wasn’t a question. We barely know each other. This is
crazy!” I rambled.
“We can get to know each other. And no, it’s not a question. You are
mine, and I am yours. I don’t need months and years to know that. You
wake up each morning surprised to see me. This settles those worries. This
thing between us isn’t temporary. Now you can move in with me.”
I clutched the tablecloth in shock.
“Wait… what? Move in with you?”
“Yes, we are engaged. And my back can’t take much more of your bed.”
That was hardly the point!
“You don’t have to climb into it every night!” I said, exasperated.
“I do because you are there. I can assure you my bed is more
comfortable, though.”
“I’ve never even seen your house.”
“We can go now.”
“Sean… I don’t know. This is all so sudden. And… there are things you
don’t know about me.”
Like my real name.
“Nothing you tell me will put me off you.”
“It’s not just that. I don’t know you either. Not properly.”
“You’ve met my ma. You’ve met Loch. You only need to meet my dogs
and Trixie, and you’re golden. We can do that when we go back to my place
now.”
“Now?” I squeaked before realising what he said. “I thought Trixie was
your housekeeper?”
He grinned, picking up on my tone. “See, already territorial. Trixie is
my housekeeper. She’s sixty-five and likes to pretend she’s everyone’s
grandmother.”
My head reeled at that information.
“There are very few people important to me, and the jury’s out on you
meeting the Steel eejits.”
I gaped at him. He’d made all these decisions.
“I need more time.”
Sean sighed and knocked his knuckles on the table. “You’re not giving
me any choice here.”
“There’s always a choice, Sean. Even if you don’t like it,” I replied, my
heart pounding, but he didn’t say anything.
He shook his head, looking disappointed, and my heart clenched.
Without looking up, he poured two glasses of water. He handed me one, and
I gulped it. My throat was dry from all this talk about moving in and
engagements. The ring glinted as I brought the glass to my mouth again,
mocking me and pointing out that I’d not taken it straight off. Sean watched
me intensely as I tried to hide behind the glass, finishing it to avoid
speaking.
“You’re in danger,” he finally said.
“What?” I sucked in a breath.
He signalled one of his men, who passed him an envelope. He pulled a
selection of grainy photos and a mugshot out and placed them on the table.
My heart stopped as my eyes fell on Niko’s unforgettable face. I seized the
other images and realised Niko was sitting in a car behind a familiar set of
shops. Dizziness swarmed me, and I jerked back in my seat. I couldn’t help
but dart my head around as if he might jump out of the shadows.
They had found me. I need to run.
My head spun with panic as I jumped to my feet. My chair bounced to
the floor. Were they watching?
“I-I… I need to go.” I stumbled, and a firm hand gripped my arm.
“Calm down, a chuisle.” Sean’s sharp command made me flinch.
I had to get away.
“Look at me.”
Two Seans filled my vision.
“No one is going to hurt you. You’ll come with me, and I’ll hide you
while I take care of everything.”
My brain was sluggish, and my vision hazy. How much had I drunk?
“You don’t understand,” I slurred, leaning against all three Seans.
“I understand perfectly well, Rosa Cortes.”
My old name shot an electric current through me, paralysing me. My
blurred vision flew to his face, and all his faces swam against the city
skyline.
“I’m sorry, a chuisle. But I’ll keep you safe.” His voice echoed as if
down a tunnel, and everything went dark.
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T he medical bag rested on the passenger seat as I steered the car with one
hand. Luckily, this one was automatic. Blood smeared across the seat as I
shifted restlessly due to the burning ache in my shoulder.
Loch wasn’t back, and I sent some men home with an unconscious
Cian. Rafferty, my man who shot Niko in the hand, packed my wound with
a field dressing. This allowed me to work Niko over without bleeding to
death. I tortured him with very little finesse before leaving him for Loch.
Niko had come for Amy on Boyan’s orders. He identified Amy from the
surveillance pictures Niko took into the prison. However, not everyone
seemed happy that Daddy Stefanov would be back on the streets, calling the
shots again.
“Where the hell are you going?” Loch’s voice boomed through the in-
car speakers.
“Somewhere I can get two problems solved.”
“What the feck does that mean? You need Dr Ali to see you.”
“I’ve got another doctor in mind. Just get to the warehouse. I want
everything from Niko before we send him to the depths of hell.”
“You’re not going to tell me where you’re going?” He forced out a
breath.
I’d kept many things secret recently, keeping my own counsel. Loch
was the loyalist man I knew, but the deeper we got into this shite, the closer
I held my cards to my chest. Maybe I was paranoid like my old man.
“Send Rada to check on Amy, will you?”
Loch grumbled something but agreed. “I need more than what you are
telling me.”
“Later,” I agreed, dropping my head back against the headrest.
I clicked off the call as I arrived at the underground garage. My hand
shook as I swiped the stolen and duplicated card against the sensor, making
the door roll up. Feck. I drove inside, parked next to the bank of lifts, and
grabbed the medical bag.
I’d rather be seeing Dr Ali back home, as I didn’t believe he was
involved with my traitor problem, but I needed the help of another kind, and
luckily, there was a doctor here who would fix me up.
The lift was card-operated, too, and the reflection in the mirror inside
showed a pale man with blood stains peeking out from under the jacket over
his suit. Jesus wept. I looked like shite. It had been a while since I’d been
shot or stabbed, and it was ironic I was turning to Liam for help.
The lift doors opened, and distant music came from the penthouse to the
right. I headed left and swiped my card again. They really should change
the electronic locks.
I shuffled a little light-headed along the corridor and into the expansive
office room. Unlike the other times I’d been here, the place smelled of
floral perfume. I headed for the bar before realising there wouldn’t be any
alcohol. Fuck’s sake. I could do with a drink. I fished around in the medical
bag and found a small bottle of whiskey. Not bothering with one of the
fancy crystal tumblers, I slumped into a leather armchair and slugged it
back from the bottle. It burned on the way down, a pleasant distraction from
the pain in my shoulder.
My mind wandered, and I hoped Amy was okay. She’d be spitting mad
by the time I got home.
“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Oscar Russell’s posh British
accent made me smirk.
“Nice to see you, Sir Oscar.”
I drawled out his title because I knew he hated it.
“What happened to you?” His gaze flicked over me.
“A minor altercation with a bullet.” I pressed a fresh gauze to my
shoulder, which had begun bleeding again.
“You can’t just turn up here with a fucking gunshot wound!” Oscar
hissed.
“You invited me to your engagement party,” I said.
“Bring a bottle and celebrate, I said. Not a medical pack and bleed out!”
He tossed his hands up.
His fiancée, Eve, entered the office, her dark eyes wide with alarm.
“Hi there, Doc. Me shoulder’s in bits. I’m gonna need your help.”
“Haven’t you got medics on staff?” Oscar interrupted.
A wave of pain slammed into me, and I leaned forward with a grunt.
“Not safe. I’ve got a rat.”
That wasn’t quite the truth, but it was close enough.
“Who shot you?” Oscar demanded.
“No one you know. Just need your pretty fiancée to fish this bullet out
and stitch me up so I can get back to my woman.” I gestured to the medical
bag at my feet.
“She the one that shot you?” Oscar asked sardonically.
“No, but isn’t the best trouble always about a woman?” I grinned at
Eve, referring to our summer trouble with a particular dark-haired doctor.
Eve tensed. “But I’m not a trauma surgeon.”
“And I’m not going to the hospital with a bullet hole. So, I need you to
do me a favour, Doc, and do your best. Just like I did for your fella.”
My patience was thin tonight. Eve frowned, confused by my sentiment.
Oscar cast me a scathing look. I met his dark gaze with one of my own.
Time to pay the piper, Sir Oscar. My favours didn’t come for free, not even
for friends. Remembering I was here for several favours tonight, I decided
to help him out.
“When I flew everyone home and tracked you down for this love-sick
eejit,” I said to Eve whilst holding Oscar’s gaze, letting him know I was
cutting him some slack.
His pretty fiancée did not need to learn about the monster that lived
inside her man. Or how far he would go to ensure her safety.
Eve snapped into professional mode and asked me questions as she
looked at my wound.
“Press on it for me while I look through your bag.” She searched
through the medical bag.
Oscar dragged a hand down his face, but before he could open his
mouth to speak, the door bumped open.
“The fuck is going on here?” Liam Reid’s angry presence filled the
room.
Where Oscar had a refined, cultured voice, Liam’s was broad, northern,
and rough as nails from being dragged up on a local estate.
“Now we have both Steel Brothers. It’s a proper party.” I held out my
good arm in welcome.
“Who shot you?” Liam asked, his dark eyes flashing.
The blood pressure cuff went tight on my arm, and I grunted as Eve
probed my wound.
“I’m going to flood this with local anaesthetic. The bullet is still in
there.”
I knew that. I could feel it grind against my tissues every time I moved.
“Mind if I have a drink? I need one.” I held the bottle up, and Liam
scowled at me.
“I thought I was done dragging your bloodied arse out of the gutter.”
“It’s been a quick minute.” I frowned at the memory.
Liam was my cousin, but only distantly. He earned his place as one of
my most trusted people when he saved my life many years ago. However,
he was a moody bastard.
“I’m going to give you some fluids.” Eve jammed the needle into my
forearm.
“There’s blood in the bag,” I said.
“I’m not giving you that without knowing your blood count or having a
cross-match.”
“It’s my blood, Doc.”
“I don’t want to know why you have bags of your own blood with you.”
Oscar collapsed onto his chair behind the desk.
“It’s sensible in my line of work.”
I had a fridge at the warehouse and at my home. There was a technician
Dr Ali used to make sure we stored blood correctly.
“Can you be sure they’ve not been tampered with? If someone has
betrayed you, then they could kill you off with a transfusion reaction and
not even be blamed.”
This woman was too intelligent for Oscar.
“Only someone clever would think of that, Doc. I think I’m safe.”
“All the same. I wouldn’t risk it.”
I nodded at her. My head swimming slightly from the whiskey and the
blood loss.
“Who is trying to kill you now?” Liam asked.
“Bulgarian gang. Their leader’s getting out next week.”
“Boyan Stefanov?”
I nodded. He’d obviously heard on the news. Not much got past Liam.
“But you’ve got a rat?” Oscar asked as Eve injected me with local, and
it stung like a bitch.
“Indeed.”
Liam jerked his head up, and he looked between Oscar and me. “That’s
why you came here?” he asked.
“Partly. I thought Eve here could help me. But I need your help. I need a
money trail following.”
I was close to getting the proof I needed. My gut told me I was right,
but the proof had evaded me. I was missing something, and it was driving
me nuts.
“I thought you had a whizz-kid IT guy?” Oscar cut in.
“I do, but…”
“He doesn’t know who to trust. Okay, I’ll need details,” Liam said,
grabbing a pen and pad.
I relaxed back into my chair. His ready acceptance helped settle the
raging beast inside me that wanted to carve up the world and cut out the
canker from my organisation. These two men stood to lose much by
associating with me, yet they were willing to help. They were men I
counted as friends but kept at arm’s length. It reminded me of Loch and my
promise to tell him what I suspected. My father had been a paranoid bastard
playing his cards close to his chest, not sharing anything with others, and
I’d been leading by his example. Maybe it was time for a change now that I
had Amy.
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“W hat did you do ?” The Bulgarian woman, Rada, rushed into the room,
followed by the bald guy Sean called Loch.
I froze, clutching the thermos. My stomach churned with knots. Seeing
him laid out on the floor tore me down the middle. Had I killed him? I
should run, but I needed to check if he was okay.
More men appeared in the doorway, and I shrank against the wall. I’d
missed my gap. A long groan from the floor snapped my eyes toward Sean
as he rolled over. Blood stained his clothes, and a bandage peeked out from
his jacket.
“She got you good,” Loch said as he helped Sean sit up. “Who was the
last person to knock you out?”
“Tommy Molloy, bastard caught me from behind, too.” He rubbed his
temple where an enormous egg had formed.
I winced at the sight, averting my eyes.
“He didn’t enjoy getting beat by a twelve-year-old.” Loch chuckled.
They were joking right now, but I attacked him and didn’t succeed in
getting away. I was a dead woman. A lump rose in my throat, and images of
my mamá floated into my mind. I edged toward the door, but Loch moved
swiftly and filled the doorway, flanked by two other guys.
“If you run, the dogs and the men will chase you, and Sean’s already
pissed off enough.”
Rada moved, drawing my attention; her expression looked haunted, and
I remembered my courage.
“I won’t let you take me to them,” I said, my voice breaking.
Loch looked between Rada and me, realisation dawning. “You think we
are Bulgarian mob lackeys?”
I gripped the thermos painfully. “Everyone has a price.”
“You’re wearing Sean’s ring. You think he’d sell you to Boyan
Stefanov?”
A shudder ripped through me hearing that name spoken out loud, and I
closed my eyes, assaulted by foul images of the woman I loved the most in
the world. Rada made a sound, and I opened my eyes to see her reaching
out. But she paused, and her hand fell back to her side.
“Let’s get you up.” Loch moved back to Sean, whose expression was
unreadable.
“Gowon with you.” He batted Loch’s hand away and clambered
unsteadily to his feet, one arm held loosely at his side. “Everyone out,” he
barked at his men.
What had happened to him? I gasped as he staggered and lost what little
colour he had.
“Fecking hell. Tell me you got some medical care wherever the fuck
you went?” Loch manhandled him back to the bed.
“Eve sewed me up,” Sean said, collapsing back onto the pillows.
“Who is Eve?” Rada asked, moving forward now to inspect him.
Yeah, who was Eve? And who was Rada? I clutched the thermos flask
against me as if it could somehow hold me together.
“Oscar’s wife. She didn’t want to use the blood. Could the bags here be
compromised?”
Rada bristled. “No, only Dr Ali and I have the keys.”
“Get Dr Ali and some supplies, darlin’.” Loch kissed Rada on the head.
It answered my question about her. She must have married the giant.
She hurried out of the room, avoiding my gaze.
“A chuisle, come and sit down. You look exhausted,” Sean said, patting
the bed with his hand.
My eyes pricked with tears, hearing the concern in his tone. Was this a
trick? I’d assaulted him, and he wanted me to sit next to him. Was he going
to kill me? My mouth went dry.
“I don’t like that look. Come here. We need to talk.”
“I’ll take that.” Loch plucked the thermos from my hands and led me by
the elbow.
“I…” I opened my mouth to apologise but then closed it again.
Was I genuinely sorry I’d hit him? He drugged me and locked me up.
Loch said they weren’t working with the Stefanovs, but how did Sean know
my name?
“Good girl. Don’t apologise for things you’re not sorry about.” He
grinned at me, and I wondered if I’d hit him harder than I realised.
I perched on the edge of the bed, but he sat forward and grabbed me
with his good arm. I squealed as he tugged me up next to him.
“That’s better. Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He buried his face in my hair. “I
could have done without the welcome wagon, but I’ll let that go. I’d say we
are even.”
“Even?” I said, trying to wiggle away, but despite his multiple injuries,
his good arm was like an iron bar.
“Unless you want to make it up to me.” He waggled his eyebrows.
“Why did you kidnap me?” I demanded.
“Because you’re mine.”
I guess it was better than selling me out to Mamá’s killers, but it wasn’t
great.
“You can’t just steal people off the street and proclaim to own them!”
“I can.”
“What gives you the right?”
“In my world. I am the judge, jury, and executioner. I make the rules.”
“That’s not going to work for me, Sean. That makes me a prisoner.”
“That wasn’t my intention. I needed to protect you.”
“Making decisions for me when I don’t know all the facts isn’t
protecting me.”
“I couldn’t risk you panicking and running away.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but that’s exactly what I did when I saw
those pictures. But that didn’t make me feel better.
He sighed. “I have to keep you safe, a chuisle. You are my world.”
What could I say to that statement?
Rada and Loch returned with a short man carrying a doctor’s bag. He
clipped a pair of glasses on the end of his nose.
“Who stitched you?” he asked once he uncovered what looked like a
gunshot wound on Sean’s shoulder.
A wave of nausea passed through me. Who had shot him?
“An ER doc.”
The doctor clicked his tongue. “Not a bad job considering.” He replaced
the dressing and started doing various tests on Sean. “Did they give you
some fluids?”
Sean nodded. It didn’t sound like he’d been to a hospital. Worry for him
crawled through my chest.
“I’ll get you some antibiotics. Let me check your blood count, and we’ll
decide on the blood. Rada told me about the worry over contamination, so it
might be safer to give you an iron transfusion.”
“Fair play. Do what you need to, Doc. I need to be up and about.”
The doctor clicked his tongue again but didn’t say anymore. I got the
impression people didn’t argue with Sean. I waited, squashed to Sean’s side,
expecting to face some hostility, but no one said anything. I felt Rada’s eyes
on me, but I avoided looking directly at her, fiddling with the covers
instead. Loch hovered around her, and it was obvious they were together.
Eventually, the doctor left, saying he would visit Sean later, taking Rada
with him to help with the blood sample.
“Did you find anything out?” Sean asked Loch.
Loch gave him a meaningful look and glanced briefly at me. “Get some
rest, and I’ll tell you later.”
“You don’t give the orders around here,” Sean griped.
“No one listens to me anyway.”
Sean snorted and made a rude gesture. The two seemed close, nothing
like they’d acted at the club. Not that I’d seen Loch there again after the
first night.
“Are you going to stab him while he’s asleep?” Loch asked me,
scowling.
“Why would I do that?” I said.
The thought of stabbing someone made me queasy. There are three
people you would stab. My conscience helpfully reminded me.
“Something Rada would have done,” Sean said.
“Feck off.”
“And he would have liked it. Kinky bastard.” Sean chuckled.
“I’m going now,” Loch grumbled and left us alone.
“Seriously, are you planning on clobbering me again because I was
hoping to get some kip?”
“I’ll leave you…” I sat up but got yanked against him more tightly.
“We’re both having a nap.”
“If you aren’t working with the…” My mouth wouldn’t form the words.
“The other gang. How did you find out my real name?”
“I found out because we were inspecting my clubs for signs of the
Bulgarians targeting girls to traffic, and you blatantly lied to my face, so I
investigated you. Visited your old friend Briggs.”
A hot slice of shame burned through me, and I turned away.
“He’s dead, by the way.”
Good.
“How did you find me if he was dead?” I asked.
“I didn’t say he was dead when I found him.”
My eyes flew to Sean in alarm. “What?”
“Do you think I would let him keep breathing after I found out what you
had to exchange for your safety?”
I cringed, and my face tingled. Sean knew. That disgusting man, Briggs.
He was the first man that I paid with my body. I scrubbed myself raw in the
dingy hotel shower afterwards and cried for a week straight.
“Look at me,” Sean barked.
I called my strength back to myself and looked him in the eye. “I did
what I had to.”
“I know, a chuisle, and I hate that you had to, but I’m so proud of you.”
I choked on the lump in my throat. He was proud of my biggest shame?
“Survival isn’t pretty. It’s a fucking bitch. But you pick yourself up and
dust yourself off.”
I nodded, leaning against him. We sat silently for a few minutes, and I
pushed away thoughts of Briggs. Sean had killed him, and I couldn’t find it
inside myself to feel sorry. I thought back to what Sean said about
Mystique.
“Are the others at Mystique safe?”
Sean shrugged. “For now, until I cut the head off the snake.”
“Kill Bo… Boyan,” I choked out.
“Yes,” he said plainly.
I searched his face for a hint of deception. Why would he do that? It was
something I’d hoped would happen for years.
“Why?”
“There are many reasons, but the one I want to know about is the one
that made you shudder when you heard his name.”
I glanced away. I couldn’t face telling him that.
“I saw what he did to your mother, so don’t relive that unless you want
to tell me.”
I blinked at him in shock.
“But did he ever touch you?” He gritted his teeth, looking furious.
“How do you know about my mamá?” I whispered.
He knew about the horror and shame that lived in my past.
“I saw the police report.”
My whole body shuddered. Sean pulled me tighter, and the tears sprang
into my eyes. Snippets of the articles I read swam into my mind. They
found her body frighteningly close to where I’d fled to, as if she’d followed
me in death. Bile rushed up my throat, and I curled forward.
“Shhhh, a chuisle. I’m here.” Sean sat forward with me as I struggled to
swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth.
“I never buried her,” I choked out as if that was the worst of my crimes.
“She deserved better.” The sobs wracked my body as I remembered
breaking down in the newsagent shop with the newspaper in my hand.
“I never knew what happened to her body. Did they burn her with a
mass of unclaimed victims? She didn’t deserve that.”
Sean held me tight with his arm, rocking gently back and forth as
everything spilt out.
“I had to run. I should have stayed. That day, I returned home early
from a test at school and found her. I heard someone come back, and I hid. I
hid under the bed as they laughed and joked as they took her body away.
Niko said they’d grab me from school… that Boyan wanted to sell me, but
Ivan said… I can’t… the things they talked about as they cleaned the
evidence of Mamá’s life away. I froze, so afraid. I should have done
something…” I broke off, the pain in my chest too strong. “B-but I stayed
there until it grew dark. I crawled out, grabbed the bag Mamá left stashed
with cash and ran. She told me I had to leave if anything ever happened to
her. But it didn’t feel right…”
“Clever girl. Your mamá would have been proud of you.” Sean
smoothed a hand down my arm. “Where did you go?”
“To my Spanish teacher’s house. Antonia was Mexican, and we used to
talk. She knew about my life and was friends with Mamá. Sometimes, I’d
go there after school. Antonia told me I could stay but I knew I had to
escape. My being there put her in danger. She gave me money, and I found
Briggs to do my ID so I could disappear and not end up in the system. But I
didn’t have enough money…”
“You were fifteen.”
I nodded, wondering briefly how he guessed. Or did I say? He killed
Briggs. Of course he knew. My head was a mess.
“And you’ve been surviving ever since on your own?”
“I moved around. For the first few years, I was paranoid, seeing them in
every face, every patron. Eventually, it wore off, and I wanted to keep my
promise to my mamá. After abandoning her, I wanted to show her she could
be proud of me. All she ever wanted was for me to get my degree. She
would have hated to see me dancing even though I learned from her.”
“I know she is proud of you.”
I choked and retched. Was she proud of me? Dancing to pay my way
through various community colleges and now uni. I hadn’t received my
degree yet. Instead, I’d fallen for a gang leader just like she did. I knew she
loved Boyan at some point. I never saw him much, but I knew she met up
with him. Would she be proud that I escaped only to be kidnapped by her
killer’s rival?
“You’re safe now,” Sean said, shuffling us back against the pillows. I
curled up against his chest, hiccupping.
Was I safe? I felt ruined. Ruined by the memories I couldn’t erase,
ruined by the man next to me that I somehow had feelings for. Although
even in my despair, I couldn’t compare Sean with the evil men who killed
Mamá. Maybe I was naïve, but I sank against his warmth as exhaustion
swallowed me whole.
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T he pain of being shot and then belted around the head paled compared to
the dagger that dragged through my chest while listening to Amy. I’d laid
here stewing for an hour, and I hoped Loch had skinned Niko’s balls while
he tortured him.
Amy burrowed closer in her sleep. I shifted, and agony shot through my
shoulder. The local had worn off, and it was throbbing like a bitch. My
phone buzzed in my pocket, and I replied to the text. The next moment,
Loch slid into the room.
“I brought you some painkillers. Before you protest, I’ll leave them on
the side, and we’ll both pretend you didn’t take them.”
“Feck off and pop some out. I’ll take them with a whiskey.”
He shook his head and cracked open a bottle of water despite my
request for liquor.
“Open your mouth.”
“You’ve got to buy me a drink first.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Loch muttered, tossing the pills in my grinning
mouth and holding the bottle to my lips.
“Reminds me of all those years ago,” I mused after swallowing the
tablets.
“Fecking awful patient back then, too.”
Liam might have saved my life when I got stabbed twenty-six times, but
Loch nursed me back to health. The bald bastard wasn’t bad at being a
nurse.
“I’m not holding your dick this time.”
I barked a laugh. “You didn’t last time.”
“You were out of it, and your dad wouldn’t take you back to the
hospital. You don’t know what I held. Fuck, you were in a state.” Loch
looked haunted.
My smile faded. “I’m sorry.”
You didn’t catch me apologising often. But I was sorry I hadn’t trusted
him more with what I suspected. This man would walk through fire to help
me.
“Yeah, you owe me a better explanation than you’ve given me so far,
brother.”
He hardly ever called me that – only Sean or Boss. My father never
legally adopted Loch because nothing my pa ever did was legal, but he
declared he was his son after I suspected he had Loch’s father killed.
I nodded.
“We need to talk about something else.”
“Go ahead.” I rested my head back against the pillows.
“Rada isn’t happy.”
“That sounds like a you problem.”
“She’s not happy with you.”
“That still sounds like a you problem. But fair play, what’s she upset
about?”
“You holding Amy against her will.”
“Does she look like a captive?” I glanced down at Amy, who had
already drooled on my chest.
“No, but smacking you upside the head and trying to escape doesn’t
give the impression she wants to be here.”
“She’s not here against her will. She’s in the pre-decision phase of
staying by choice.”
“That’s—”
“You’re not in a position to criticise me. Your wife was in our holding
cells for over a week,” I interrupted.
“She was recovering.”
“She was sizing up how to stab you in the eye with a toothbrush, you
mean?”
“She doesn’t like it when you remind her of that.”
“So this is another intervention?”
“Don’t be so fecking dramatic. I’m just saying stop greeting her as
Toothbrush Killer or TK.”
“Fair play, but she should have killed those men less memorably.”
“You weren’t even there.”
“You painted an excellent mental picture. I snapped the head off my
toothbrush and tried melting a razor into it, you know. Fecking stank. Shite
weapon. It’s an impressive feat, not something to regret.”
Loch dragged his hand down his face like he was sick of me.
“It reminds her of a bad time. Just don’t do it. For what it’s worth, I’m
sure Amy will come around, but I promised Rada that I’d speak to you.”
“Whipped,” I muttered.
“Says the man who is making googly eyes at the woman who knocked
him out with a flask of soup.”
Feck. I would never live that down.
“Amy was in bits when she realised you were injured,” Loch said.
“She’s warming up to me.” I glanced down at her hand that bore my
engagement ring.
Loch followed my eyes. “Did you super glue it to her finger?”
“Feck off.” I shifted my shoulder, which felt marginally better since the
painkillers.
“Is Niko dead?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Definitely dead. They recognised Amy from the surveillance footage of
you.”
“I know.” I ground my jaw.
It wasn’t uncommon to monitor other gangs, but Boyan seemed to have
a hard-on for me.
“He told me Boyan wanted her for when he gets out.”
I already got that from Niko before I left him hanging for Loch.
“Amy says she heard them planning to sell her when she was younger.
Guess who else was involved?” I growled, recalling the conversation.
“Let me guess. Ivan fucking Kolev.”
I nodded grimly. “That’s two down already. We only need Boyan, and
he’s being conveniently released from His Majesty’s leisure in a few days.”
“You want to take him straight out?”
I shook my head.
“I have a different plan, one I could use your help with.”
“Good.”
He didn’t press for answers now, but we’d need to talk in the next few
days.
“Yesterday was Amy’s actual birthday, and I’ve thought of a perfect
gift.”
I outlined what I needed from him.
“I’ll get that prepared for you. Get some rest.”
“What did I tell you about giving orders?” I asked.
He just grunted and dropped the painkillers on the side, leaving me with
my sleeping beauty.
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S ean ’ s snores vibrated his chest. His breaths lifted the warm muscles
beneath my palm rhythmically. I’d woken up yet again, dribbling all over
him. Now, I was watching him like a creeper, thinking over the last few
weeks’ events.
His domineering approach drove me nuts, but what was my current
alternative? Running away and falling into the clutches of Mamá’s killers?
Sean wanted to protect me, and while we’d need to work on his methods, I
wanted what he provided: support, shelter, and affection. The lonely little
girl inside me wanted to stay more than the woman in me who wanted to hit
him upside the head again. He’d shown me care and attention that
fundamentally altered my outlook in a short space of time, almost like I’d
grown addicted to him.
I opened the rawest of my wounds last night, and he merely held me. I
always thought I’d need to bury my secrets if I wanted a relationship. I’d
mapped out my career, but the life beyond qualifying had always been
fuzzy. It involved me working hard, making my mamá proud, and
eventually having a house and family. They were always blurry in my mind,
like the faceless man I used to imagine when I danced. They weren’t clearly
defined, but they would be. And then I’d finally be normal. My fictional
husband would have a nice, respectable job, and he would never have
learned about my terrible past. I’d keep it locked away, forcing my life to be
safe and mundane.
But I wasn’t normal, and feeling seen by Sean last night, knowing he
knew the worst corners of my past and still wanted me, had changed
something inside me.
Sean groaned, blinking his eyes open. His hand found mine on his chest
and squeezed it.
“I’m glad you didn’t run.” His voice was gravelly, and it made me
shiver.
“The big dude said it was pointless.” My voice croaky, too.
“Sometimes he talks sense.” He pulled us up against the headboard with
a wince.
The lump on his temple was less pronounced, and although I felt bad
about it, he had to know he couldn’t kidnap me without consequences.
“I’m still not sorry I hit you. You can’t go around drugging me.”
He nodded as he dragged my hand back to his chest.
“And I’m not sorry about drugging you. The Stefanovs had you under
surveillance. It was no longer safe. Niko broke into your flat and set it on
fire.”
“What?” I reeled back. “What about Cat?” I scrambled to get off the
bed, but his arm tightened.
“She’s fine. Craig took a bullet getting her out.”
“Oh my god. Is he okay? Shit. I need to call Cat.” I looked around,
expecting to see my phone.
“She’s with a friend, and Craig’s fine.”
“Her friend from uni, Sienna?”
Sean made a non-committal noise.
Oh my god.
“Everything I own is gone?”
“Not everything, a chuisle. Craig was there to get your stuff. He’d
already packed most of it, including the pictures of your mother and
grandmother. We have most things.”
“Really?”
I wasn’t even going to examine how high-handed he had been packing
up all my stuff, but I was grateful. I had digital copies of my pictures, but I
was still glad.
“What about Cat’s stuff?”
“I don’t know. I’ve not had time to speak to Craig. You realise she could
replace her things in a heartbeat? Her family is old money.”
“She was cut off. She moved away to avoid them controlling her.”
“She still has powerful friends.”
“Sienna is rich, I guess,” I mused.
We fell into silence, and the enormity of what he told me settled over
me. I had no home now.
“Is Craig going to be okay? I’ll have to thank him.”
Sean frowned.
“He’s not the only one that got shot.” He pouted.
My finger flew to the edge of his bandage, remembering the gunshot
wound from last night.
“Who shot you?”
“Niko.”
I gaped at him. “What?”
“Lucky shot,” he grunted.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Sean shouted, and Trixie entered with a food tray.
“I made you pancakes,” she said, setting the tray on the bed. “Have you
taken your medication?”
“Don’t fuss, Trixie.” Sean sighed.
I noticed he spoke to her differently, more like how he talked to me.
“What do you expect? Getting yourself shot!” Trixie reddened. “Just
keep an eye on him,” she told me before bustling out again.
Next, Loch entered with a large gift-wrapped box and an envelope.
“I’ll leave these here.” He gave Sean a meaningful look and dropped the
parcel on the bottom of the bed.
“Thank you. I’ll be in my office shortly,” Sean said, and Loch left,
closing the door.
“You can’t get up today. You were shot,” I said.
“My organisation won’t run itself. I can’t have my men thinking I’m
weak.” Sean pointed at the envelopes. “Grab those.”
“What is in here?” I picked up a large white envelope and a smaller red
one.
“A birthday card. It’s late now, but still.”
I stilled, but then I remembered he had used my real name, so he must
have known my actual date of birth.
I slid a finger under the flap and opened the card. It had a rose on the
front, and inside, my chest tightened as I read the words.
To Rosa Amy My Fiancée Wife
Happy 26th Birthday
All my love, Sean XXX
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26
I’ d never had an issue with focus until Amy crashed into my life. Now,
my mind was full of her. Her perfume, her taste, her smiles. She was under
my roof, wearing my ring, but somehow, it wasn’t enough unless she was
sitting on my lap. With my business the way it was, I didn’t want to expose
her to the constant ugliness I took for granted daily. It wasn’t until she
brought her light into my dark life that I could see the comparison.
After presenting Niko’s head to Amy, I sent it to the Bulgarian
compound. The good thing about sending a body part to another gang was
that you knew it wouldn’t end up with the police.
Boyan, freshly minted from prison, immediately retaliated by blowing
up one of my bookies and replying with a message that he would wipe me
from the face of the earth.
Loch had chuckled at that. “Doubt the old man’s got the strength to hold
his cock for a piss, let alone kill you off.”
I had a rule of never underestimating people. Boyan had proved that he
was a psychopath, and I didn’t think it mattered that he was over sixty. That
kind of craziness just built with age. I’d stepped up security, but the nagging
issue of my rat was a constant worry. My inside contact had new
information for me, and now that Loch knew everything I did, things were
easier. However, I kept the video feeds from the entire house flowing to my
computer.
“Hey.” My favourite voice filled the doorway.
I clicked the screens blank and motioned her over. She walked over
wearing a pair of leggings and one of my shirts. Her dark hair fell about her
face, and she looked beautiful, free of makeup and walking barefoot around
my house. When she was close enough, I snagged her and pulled her onto
my lap.
She laughed huskily as I buried my nose in her hair.
“I missed you,” I said.
“It’s only been an hour.”
“Too long.” I grabbed her hips, growing hard underneath her.
It was a problem whenever I was around her. One I never wanted to
wear off.
“Did you unpack?”
“Not quite. I think Craig got almost all my stuff.”
“He said there wasn’t that much.”
It was shocking to see how little she owned – mostly stripping outfits,
heels, and some old textbooks. That morning, I personally removed some
items, and I was waiting to see when she noticed.
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.” I didn’t like her worrying about my men.
Craig was recovering perfectly well. Trixie was fussing over him like a
mother hen.
“What about you? Are you overdoing it?”
I flexed my arm, and pain shot through the joint. “It’s getting there.”
You didn’t slow down in my business, not with wolves like the
Stefanovs at the door.
“I spoke to Cat. She’s staying at the manor house where she works. Her
boss isn’t as big of a jerk as she thought. He offered her somewhere to stay
rent-free.”
“So generous of him,” I mused.
She studied me, her keen eyes taking in my tone. “Do you think she’s
safe?”
“I think her employer will keep her very safe.”
“He’s like eighty years old. I don’t think she’d go for a Playboy bunny-
type role.”
I laughed. “She told you he was eighty?”
Her forehead wrinkled up adorably as she thought about it.
“I-I don’t know. She said he was older, but I don’t know if she ever said
eighty.”
“He is two years older than me.”
“Oh!” Then she grinned. “He’s ancient then.” She giggled.
I grabbed her and tilted her over my lap with my good arm. The twisting
action caused me to hiss at the pain in my shoulder.
“Over!” I barked as she shrieked.
I pinned her with my arm and gritted my teeth as I used my injured arm
to pull down her leggings. Her blue lacy thong came into view along with
that perfectly peachy arse.
Fuck, I didn’t think this through because I couldn’t spank her with my
bad arm. The minute I raised my restraining arm, she tried to scramble up,
but I brought it down on her cheek with a smack.
“Ow!” she collapsed back over me, giggling.
“You know I’ve killed men for less cheek than that.” I peppered her
backside with smacks that she giggled through. Eventually, she squirmed,
and I slid my hand beneath her thong, greeted with her glistening wetness.
She moaned as I stroked through her folds, finding her clit and circling
it.
“Sean!” She gasped.
I loved hearing my name on her lips as I pressed my thumb inside her
and my fingers worked her clit. It was a weird angle, but I wasn’t about to
stop. She bucked against me, and I picked up the pace.
“That’s it, dirty girl, come over my hand.”
My cock throbbed, trapped beneath her. The memory of being inside her
almost had me coming as she did on my fingers. Her pussy contracted
around my thumb as she shuddered.
I removed my fingers and sucked her essence off them. She tasted
delicious, and I contemplated clearing my desk and feasting on her when a
knock at the door had me pulling up her leggings as she scrambled upright.
Her face was red, and her hair was messy as I pulled her back onto my lap.
“Come in.”
Cian appeared in the doorway, smirking, and my lust promptly died.
“Sorry to interrupt.” His eyes lingered on Amy as she smoothed her hair
down and gazed at the desk.
“What is it?” I clipped.
“The shipment had a problem.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Cian wasn’t involved with the shipments. He handled gambling ever
since everything with Uncle Declan went down.
He shrugged. “Thomas told me to tell you.”
I glanced at the computer, and there was no alert from Thomas. He
preferred to communicate electronically despite living in another area of the
same house.
“I’ll speak to him.” I fired off a text to Loch and then stared at Cian.
“I can go—”
“Loch’s handing it.”
Cian clenched his jaw and nodded, leaving the room.
“He’s your cousin?”
“Yep, my pa had two brothers.”
“Was his dad the one Ivan killed?”
I’d told her briefly of our previous issues with the Stefanovs.
“No. That was our other uncle.” I ran a hand through my hair. “It was an
initial product exchange. We were supposed to be building an alliance with
the Bulgarians.”
She winced, looking at me wide-eyed. “You were going to align
yourself with them?”
“No, we were working on a mutual supply chain. Viktor, Boyan’s son, is
much better educated than the rest of the family. He wanted to focus on the
arms and cut the trafficking out. Or so he told me. But that all went to shite
after Uncle Declan was killed.”
“Now you are at war with them?” She fiddled with my collar.
“Yes, but you don’t need to worry. I’ll keep you safe.”
“I’m not worried for me. I’m worried for you.”
“Don’t worry, a chuisle. I always win.” I kissed her lips. “I’ve got
something to show you.”
She stood, and I had to adjust myself from the painful position my dick
was trapped in. She smirked at me. I grabbed her hand and led her towards
the library. I hadn’t given her a proper tour of the house and grounds, but
she had met all the important people.
“In here.” I opened the door and watched her eyes go comically wide.
“Oh my god!”
I tried to see the library through her eyes, with its rows of shelves, a
small mezzanine, a large sofa, and a few tables with reading lamps. The
smell of old paper washed over me, and a tense part of me relaxed. I led her
to the wooden bar and poured us a drink.
“Those are for you.” I gestured at a stack of thick textbooks.
“Are those?” She rushed over to the table and started thumbing through
them. “Oh my god, these are all new. I had a fourth-edition copy of this
one.”
She held up a shiny book with a picture of teeth on the front.
“The Dean had the head of the dental school send a list of textbooks.
They’ve paused your course. All they know is you had a family emergency.
The university received a generous donation and will keep their mouths
shut.”
She flung herself at me, and I grunted at the impact, pressing a kiss to
her hair.
“I’m as obsessed with you as my pa was with my ma, but I won’t make
you give up your dreams,” I told her, making the promise I intended to
keep.
I knew my limitations as a jealous, obsessive bastard. She would need
permanent guards to attend university even after all the gang war was over.
But I wanted her to realise her promise to her mother.
She beamed at me, kissing me. I deepened the kiss like the greedy
fucker I was. She pulled away and eagerly examined the pile of books
before staring at the stacks, which held a varied collection.
“Thank you. I didn’t…” she trailed off.
“You didn’t pen me for a bookworm?”
“No.”
“Fair play.”
Something else by my design. Knowledge was power – a different type
of power than my father wielded and instilled in me.
“As a child, my father hated anything related to education. We were
home-schooled. He made sure we could read and count, but apart from that,
I had no formal education.”
She blinked at me, shocked.
“He caught me reading a story once and beat the shite out of me. He
told me reading and books were for pussies and weak men. But I liked to
defy him in small ways. So, I started collecting books and reading them late
at night. I realised you could get books that taught you things, not just
stories.”
“Oh, Sean.” She cupped my cheek, and I leaned into the touch.
I wanted to tell her everything I’d never said because my walls were so
high. Being the boss meant zero vulnerability. My brutality was carefully
concealed inside a jovial package. But she peeled back those layers and
deserved more than the mask.
“Just when I thought there couldn’t be any more reasons to fall in love
with you.”
I stilled. “You love me?”
“I might? Is that too soon?” she asked me, her eyes full of uncertainty.
I was gone for this woman.
“No.” I pulled her close. “I’m already in love with you. It’s not even a
strong enough word for my obsession with you. You stole my soul. You
took it for your own, and now it walks around outside my body. Now I’m
vulnerable because if anyone took you, there’s no length I wouldn’t go to,
no limit to what I would do, nothing I wouldn’t steal, and no one I wouldn’t
kill to get you back. I would burn this fucking city to the ground.”
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T he intensity of his gaze made my pulse race. Had anyone ever looked at
me like that? My mamá loved me, and she was the most beautiful person to
me, but the way Sean treated me, the lonely runaway girl inside me was
gone for him. Even the hardened, cynical part of me was swooning. My
body lit up as soon as we were in the same room. Our chemistry was off the
charts and not something I’d ever experienced before him.
“I’ve got something else to show you.”
He grabbed my hand and led me up a spiral staircase to the mezzanine.
A single stack of books extended along the space, and behind them, the wall
had a round window looking out over the garden and the field behind it. A
bench seat with a thick cushion was at the bottom of the curved glass.
“This is my place. No one is allowed up here, not even Loch. I don’t
come up here much, but if I do, it’s to think.”
I gazed up at this paradox of a man with all his layers.
“Thank you for showing me.”
“Oh, I’m planning on doing more than showing you. It’s time to
christen this place. Strip.” His husky command left me reeling for a minute,
and he smirked at me. “You know how to do that.”
“Are you stripping too?” I shot back.
I was rediscovering my sass under his care.
“You’ll have to do that. I’m an invalid, you know.” He gestured to his
arm with a wicked grin.
“Okay.” I walked forward and started unbuttoning his shirt.
The heat roared through me as I exposed more of his golden skin. My
fingers traced the faded tattoo over his pec. He watched me in his fervent
way, his chest rising and falling beneath my palms as I slid the shirt off his
shoulder, careful not to catch his dressing. The ridges of his abs were
smooth under my fingertips as I trailed them down his front to his belt. He
shivered, and I preened at drawing that reaction from him.
“You’re killing me, a chuisle,” he growled as I palmed the enormous
bulge in the front of his suit trousers. “I said strip, not tease.”
“But stripping is a tease. That’s the appeal. The fantasy of what you
can’t have.”
“Oh, but I can have it.” He grabbed the back of my neck and smashed
his lips down on mine. My hands flew to his face as I melted against him.
He broke the kiss, pulling back.
“Clothes. Off. Now.” His eyes glittered.
I used one arm to snag my T-shirt, pulling it up and over in one
movement. His eyes roved over the black lacy bra. It seemed Craig hadn’t
saved my underwear from the flat, but plenty of new sets were in the
wardrobe. I undid the front fastening and looked back over my shoulder as I
let the bra fall to the floor. Bending, I pulled my leggings down. These
clothes weren’t the most seductive choices, but at the sight of my matching
black thong, Sean groaned.
“What a fucking sight.” He bit his lip, and an elusive dimple appeared.
I spun around, holding my breasts and dropping to my knees. I reached
for his belt. His green eyes were heavy-lidded as I undid the buckle and his
trousers. He stepped out of them, and I was at eye level with his straining
boxers. Reaching in, I pulled him out. He was hard and heavy in my palm. I
darted forward and caught the bead of pre-cum on my tongue. It caused a
salty explosion across my taste buds. He muttered something in Irish and
sank his hand into my hair.
“As much as I love the sight of you and your perfect lips on your knees
for me, I want my cock inside that pussy of yours.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the window seat.
“Will someone see?” I darted a glance at the garden.
“There’s no one on this side of the house. I made sure. No one sees this
perfect body. Only me.” He sat down on the window bench and grabbed the
back of my thigh, forcing my knee onto the cushion as I straddled him.
“I want you to look out over your new home as you fuck me.”
I stared down at him.
“Sean…”
“You’re wearing my ring; you are my woman. Tell me you don’t feel
this thing between us. Tell me it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt. You already
admitted you love me.”
He yanked me closer, and the breath whooshed out of me, his erection
trapped between us. He gripped my chin, bringing my eyes back to his. The
fervent look there undid me.
“I feel it.”
“Then embrace it.”
I buried my face in his neck, which smelled delicious. “Okay,” I said on
a breath.
“Good girl.” He ground his hips up against me, and the desire roared
through me.
His hand slipped around my throat, collaring me with a firm grip. My
breathing hitched because, even injured, this man was much stronger than
me.
“Ride my cock, a chuisle.” He gave me a wicked grin.
I rose and gripped his shaft, notching him at my entrance, but he didn’t
let go of my throat even as I sank down, letting him stretch me. I was
drenched, and he lit up every nerve ending inside me. We both groaned as
he tightened his hold on me. The lack of oxygen sent a rush of adrenaline
through me, and my lust ramped up. I clenched around him, and he smirked
again, knowing exactly what he was doing. Using my throat as leverage, his
hips met mine as I rose and fell over the top of him. The hours of dancing
were coming in handy as I matched his pace, slamming us together. The
pressure of an orgasm was building as he dragged himself across my front
wall.
“I’ve never felt anything so good,” Sean gritted out, sweat beading on
his forehead from the effort of his thrusts.
My eyes danced over him. Pleasure soared through me as we moved
together frantically, just like this whole thing between us – explosive and
fast-paced. His hand kept me grounded and anchored to reality – my new
reality.
“Sean,” I whined as he shifted to rub my clit.
“Come for me, choke my cock with that tight pussy.” The wince on his
face told me it cost him to use his bad arm, but I was half delirious with
pleasure.
His dirty words and the way he was hitting a place so deep inside me
pushed me closer to a huge orgasmic cliff. My vision greyed at the edge as
his hand cut off my air, and I went off like a rocket. Pleasure burst from my
centre and radiated through to every finger and toe. He loosened his hold,
and I gasped for breath as my head fell forward and my teeth latched onto
Sean’s good shoulder, biting down. He roared and bucked, spilling hot cum
inside me.
“Jesus wept,” he finally said as he stopped thrusting. “You’ve got me in
bits.” He buried his face in my damp neck, and I clung to him as we
regained our breath.
“Yeah, we should probably have talked before we had sex… again.”
Sean kissed my neck, and I shivered.
“I’m clean. Are you planning on making me a daddy?”
I leaned away from him. “I’m clean too, and I’ve got a coil.”
He nodded, smoothing my hair from my damp face.
“Do you want kids?” I asked.
“Interesting question to ask while my cum is dripping out of you.” His
dimple popped out, and I smacked his chest.
He slipped from my body, and the rush of fluid made me blush. He
rearranged me across his lap and grabbed a blanket I’d not noticed, tossing
it around us. We were sticky, but I wasn’t ready to move away from him.
“Seriously, though.” I traced his faded tattoo. “I don’t know if I want
them.”
“Okay.”
“I thought mafia leaders were all about the heirs?”
He stiffened underneath me. “Not all of us.”
I looked up at his clenched jaw and stroked it with my hand. He gazed
down at me, his harsh expression softening.
“My father was obsessed with heirs. My ma had multiple miscarriages.
She told me she had wanted to stop because the pain of the losses was too
much, but Connall had to have an heir. Eventually, with the help of some
dodgy medication, she got pregnant with triplets.” His anger was palpable.
“It was a dangerous pregnancy, and ultimately only one of us survived.”
“You were one of three?”
“Yes, my sister died inside Ma, and they had to get us out pronto. The
doctors said I stole all the room and starved the other two out. My brother
was small and didn’t make it much past birth. Connall was thrilled to have a
murderer straight out of the womb.” Self-loathing coloured his tone.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I cupped his cheek.
“I know that, but to my pa, it was an ultimate sign from the universe
that he’d bred a powerful son.” He squeezed me with his good arm. “So, I’ll
never pressure you. If we have kids, that’s fine. If not, fine.”
I nodded, not sure what to say. It was too soon to talk about a family. I
wanted to finish my degree, and who knew when that would be safe?
“Is that why you call Loch your brother?”
“Loch earned his place as my brother, but my pa pretty much adopted
him. He saw him trapping and butchering a fox and decided he had the
skills to protect my back. Of course, he thought Loch did that because he
loved killing and skinning things, but it was because the fox kept killing the
rabbits he liked to shoot with his air rifle.”
“Is that much better?”
“Loch used to shoot the rabbits to feed himself and his mother when his
father left them for days without money or food.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t feel sorry for the past. It strengthens us, or it tears us down. We
decide.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and stared into the garden, thinking
about my past and wondering if it made me stronger.
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I rifled through the hastily packed boxes, searching for my old comfy
socks. The clothes in the wardrobe I made assumptions about when I woke
up here were for me. But I liked my slipper socks. Was Bob, my battery-
operated boyfriend, here? Mortification rushed through me, imagining
Craig rooting through my bedside drawer.
The door opened, and I snapped my head up. Sean walked in, his eyes
on me like a laser. Clothed or naked, he watched me like a hawk. The
potency of his gaze sent tingles through me, and it hadn’t reduced in
strength from the first night. I didn’t think I wanted it to.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Just looking for my socks. You know I ought to be pissed off at you
moving all my stuff without my permission, but I can’t be sorry it got saved
from the fire.”
The entire block of shops had gone up. Miraculously, no one was
injured, but it scared me to imagine what would have happened if I’d been
there.
“That kind of dilemma must be tough.” Sean smirked, his damn dimple
popping out.
“Did you…” I trailed off, unsure how to ask.
I didn’t want someone to lose an eye to Sean’s jealousy.
“Did I what?”
“Did you tell Craig to leave my underwear?”
His eyes darkened. “I didn’t have to tell my men not to touch your
underwear, but if you are asking where it is, it’s in the bottom drawer on the
left.”
“What?”
“When I saw Niko outside that morning, I dropped you off and doubled
back. I took your intimate things and then had Craig and Ian collect the rest
later.”
“You…” I gaped at him.
“And I picked up something else.” He walked over and opened his
bedside drawer.
He dropped my bright pink, double-ended dildo, aka Bob, onto the dark
bed covers.
My cheeks flamed.
“I think you owe me a show for my foresight.” He retreated and leaned
against the end of the bed.
“A show?”
“I want to see my competition in action.”
“Competition? You get so jealous that I’m surprised you’ve not smashed
Bob up.”
“Bob?” Sean’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh my god!”
“Okay, show me why we should keep Bob. Beg for his electronic life.”
He smirked. “And I’ll show you I’m not jealous of everything.”
I stared at the dildo and back at Sean. He reclined against the wall with
a taunting look on his face. Heat flushed through me at the idea of him
watching me use it.
He waved at me to proceed. “I’m injured, so I’m tapping in my new
teammate.”
I rolled my eyes at him. Fuck it. I rolled my leggings down, bending
over to give him a show. Next, I whipped off my top and crawled onto the
bed. I smiled at the groan it elicited from him. Flipping onto my back, the
cool air rushed over me, tightening my nipples.
I clicked Bob on, and the vibration buzzed up my arm. I let my legs sink
outwards and watched Sean palm himself. Even injured, he looked like sex
personified.
I slid the smooth, narrower end down my chest towards my centre while
keeping eye contact. Sean’s hungry gaze roved over me.
“That’s it. Press it to that clit for me.”
I arched as the vibrations zapped my bundle of nerves.
“Jesus wept.” Sean licked his lips.
I swiped the vibrator through the wetness that had collected since we
started this game and pushed it inside me.
“That’s it; fuck yourself with it.”
Sean’s growly commands made this so much hotter. I circled my clit
with my fingers as I plunged the dildo inside me.
“Fuck, I’m so jealous.”
I smiled and moved faster. The heady combination of vibrations and
Sean’s attention rushed me towards an orgasm in record time.
“Turn it up,” he barked.
I pressed the button, and the vibrations intensified, becoming louder. I
realised Sean had taken his cock out and was stroking it. The sight was so
erotic, watching him jerk off while filled up with the dildo, that it pushed
me over the edge.
“Yes!” I panted through my climax.
Sean strode over, his cock gripped in his powerful hand.
“You’re perfect,” he groaned, his hand shuttling rapidly.
“Fuck.” Sean’s cum spurted in ropes across my chest and belly as I
watched him come apart.
It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. As he finished, he smeared the last
of his cum across my breast, then trailed a hand down my belly, smoothing
the rest in like cream.
“You look glorious covered in me.” He reached over and grabbed my
vibrator and licked the length of it. “Delicious.”
My mouth popped open as I lay in the post-orgasmic glow, shivering
from the dampness across my chest. Unphased, he zipped himself back up
one-handed, then leaned down for a filthy kiss that nearly had me dragging
him into bed with me.
“I can tolerate Bob as your co-performer.” He twirled the bright pink
device in his hand, his eyes glistening with a manic gleam. “But next time,
I’ll be using him on you.”
That mental image heated me up way better than my fluffy socks.
The next day, I made a concerted effort to emerge from the haze of lust I’d
fallen into.
“But if you know you have a traitor, why haven’t you confronted
them?” I asked while sitting on Sean’s lap in his office.
His pen passed over a contract he was signing. “Because proof has
proven elusive, and something doesn’t add up, plus I’m not my father.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, his paranoia about Ma’s fidelity was only part of his psychosis
towards the end. He executed as many of his own men as he did his rivals.”
I blinked at him.
“He saw conspiracies and double-dealing everywhere. While I must be
vigilant, I have trust in some things – to some level, at least. I’m not good at
that part, but I work with evidence. It’s just proven tricky to pin down.” He
rubbed his temples.
“You can talk to me, you know.”
“I know, a chuisle. But you are the light in my life, not the dark.”
“But I’m here.” I stroked the back of his neck.
I meant it too. I’d fallen hard for him and his mess of contradictions –
all of him, his smiles, threats, and brutal lifestyle – because he fiercely
protected those he loved.
“Thank you.”
“We should see your mum again soon,” I said.
“You’re volunteering to be attacked again?”
“You said yourself, she fluctuates. We’ll keep going and might catch
more lucid patches.”
Sean gripped my chin and kissed my lips. “You’re perfect, a chuisle.”
I was far from perfect, but I felt strongly about keeping the relationship
with his mother alive. I’d never give up on Mamá if the roles were reversed.
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29
T he next few days were a blur of settling in and sex. Sean had turned me
into some kind of nympho. Even though he was busy plotting with Loch, he
didn’t enjoy letting me out of sight; he constantly pulled me onto his lap or
kept a hand on me.
As someone who had always worked and studied full tilt, I found it
weird to be mooching around. I felt a rock of guilt about my course. I
constantly fretted about not fulfilling my promise to Mamá, but each time I
thought about going outside, images of her lifeless body swam into my
mind.
Perhaps I’d developed some of Trixie’s agoraphobia. Sean explained her
past and the fact that she never left the property. The house was huge, and
the grounds were quiet and guarded, so I understood why.
I was in the library, trying to read my brand-new restorative dentistry
textbooks that Sean had bought for me, but my mind was wandering. Sean
and Loch were meeting in his office to discuss important new information.
He’d been in a grim mood since last night. I cuddled him until I fell asleep,
but I’m unsure how much rest he got.
“I’ve brought you some lunch, dearie.” Trixie bustled in with a plate of
thick-cut sandwiches and kettle chips.
“Thank you, Trixie.” The woman had a sixth sense for a rumbling
stomach.
She smoothed a hand over my hair, and I closed my eyes at the
affection. I could get used to being fed, but I needed to exercise or I’d be a
stone heavier without dancing most nights. Trixie trotted away, saying she’d
be back for the plate. She could be the sweetest, although I saw her
threatening Loch with a bread knife when he tried to sneak some food from
the fridge. The huge man had scampered away, leaving Rada and me
giggling.
My phone buzzed, and Rosie’s name flashed up. She’d called and texted
me a few times. My chest tightened at the reminder that I’d been neglecting
my old friends – not that Rosie and I were that close.
“Hi,” I answered lamely.
“Amy!” she shouted into the phone, making me wince. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay.”
“I’ve been calling. I was worried.”
“I’m sorry I got caught up, and my phone ran out of charge.”
“Where are you?”
“Family emergency,” I said.
Sean had arranged things with the Dean, and presumably, my
supervisors had been told.
“I didn’t think you had much family,” Rosie said, her voice curious. “I
thought maybe that hottie had kidnapped you, and you’d died from amazing
dick.”
That was strangely accurate, and I giggled.
“So you are climbing that tree!”
“No.”
“Liar. Anyway, when are you returning?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Okay… are you sure things are alright?”
I sighed. Rosie knew I was hyper-focused on finishing my course.
“Yeah, it won’t be long.”
“Good news for when you return. Harrison quit. No one knows why, but
a new woman is starting soon.”
“Oh,” I said, wondering if Sean had anything to do with his leaving.
I didn’t have the bandwidth to worry about sleazy bastards like
Harrison.
“Alright, well, call me if you need anything.”
We said goodbye, and I vowed to be a better friend after this mess was
over. I returned the phone to the table and tried again to read, but it buzzed
with a text.
Michelle (Candy): Have u hrd?
Me: Heard what?
Michelle (Candy): The fucking club is on fire.
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30
T humping inside my skull woke me, and I rolled over, nausea turning my
stomach. Oh no. What did I drink? I blinked my eyes open into a dimly lit
room. The surface beneath me was firm and cold. I wasn’t in bed.
Something firm dug into my boob, and I tried to lift my hand, but it was
bound in front of me with zip ties.
Pieces came back to me. Sean leaving… Rada in a weapons room…
And the rat, Cian, tied to a chair… Gas… someone gassed us. Someone
was working with Cian! Although he seemed angry at getting gassed along
with us.
I groaned, rolling to sit up. My heart slammed against my rib cage. I
spotted Rada across the room. At first, I thought she was slumped forward,
but she was moving with small, jerky movements. Suddenly, her hands
sprang apart, and she moved to the zip ties on her feet, making quick work
with her knife on the zip ties.
“You’re awake,” she whispered as she stumbled towards me.
Her thin razor snapped through my binding, and I rubbed at the red
marks on my wrists as she cut the ones at my ankles. The blade folded back
into a bracelet I’d not seen before.
“Where are we?”
“No idea.”
She turned away and bent double, jiggling. I realised she was fetching
the weapon she had stashed. She produced a sheath, wiped it off, and
removed a blade, which she flicked open.
“Do I want to know where that came from?”
“Inside me. I vowed never to be a captive again.” She held the blade up,
and it caught the light. “Have you still got your bra stuffing?”
The uncomfortable feeling against my chest told me that both the
grenades made it, although a quick check told me my ankle knife hadn’t.
“You know head and neck anatomy. Aim for the eyes and the arteries,”
Rada said as she fished a smaller blade from her bra and handed it to me.
What?
I stared at the knife, its warmth heating my palm. Before I could protest,
she banged on the door.
“Rada!” I hissed, gripping the knife.
The door swung outwards, and Rada launched herself at the man on the
other side. My heart lurched in my chest. She slashed at his neck, and blood
sprayed out in a wide arc. The guy toppled forward, and she slammed her
knee into his stomach, grabbing his gun. I watched in horror as he clawed at
his neck and wet gurgling sounds erupted from his throat.
“We need to go.” Rada’s face was oddly blank.
I swallowed down the vomit that had risen from my stomach and closed
my eyes. Oh my god. I stepped over his body as he took his last rasping
breaths.
“Come on.” Rada tugged me forward, smearing blood across my grey
hoodie sleeve.
I stumbled along behind her, part of my brain knowing we had been
brought to a dangerous place, and the other part dissociated from what was
happening.
We peered around the corner of what looked like a factory, with faint
machinery noises in the background. The double doors at the end of the
corridor had round windows. We crept along to the end and looked through.
I froze at the scene. Sean and Loch were bound and huddled on the floor in
the middle of the room. Multiple men paced the periphery with guns. Cian
looked dreadful, gesturing to another man with similar coloured hair that I
didn’t recognise. Footsteps behind us shot panic through my veins.
“Hide,” Rada hissed, pushing me behind a stack of crates by the door.
Frozen, I crouched behind the boxes, but instead of joining me, she
whirled around to meet whoever was coming. Shouting in Bulgarian forced
my eyes shut, and I shook as memories from that night washed over me.
Scuffling and grunting made me curl into a ball.
“How the fuck did she get out?” a male voice said as the door opened.
“Fuck you,” Rada shouted.
“You’ll pay for that, you fucking whore.”
A slap rang out, and an inhuman roar came from inside the room. I
recognised it as Loch. The sound was frightening.
“I’m going to enjoy fucking you in front of your husband,” the cruel
voice mocked.
“We have business to attend to.” A voice I’d recognise anywhere sent a
fresh wave of terror through me.
Boyan Stefanov was a few feet from where I hid.
“Check for Sean’s bitch,” the unfamiliar voice hissed before the door
swung shut and footsteps faded away.
I shrank further behind the boxes and tried to make my ragged breathing
quiet with my sleeve, trembling with suppressed memories of hiding as they
took Mamá’s body away.
Was it my destiny to hide and cower as these people killed the ones I
loved? I dug my fingernails into my palms, needing the bite of pain to reign
in my hysteria. Breathe. I refused to do this again. Sean, Loch, and Rada
weren’t dead. Focus! I pulled the two grenades from my bra. Sean said a
threat was sometimes enough. They couldn’t shoot me without having me
drop these. Could I threaten to drop them and get them to release Sean and
Loch? Hell, who was I kidding?
I silently prayed to Mamá, asking for her strength. Pulling the pins out
with my teeth, I curled my fist around the arm thingy. Rada gave it a name,
but I was frightened out of my mind and wasn’t sure I could remember my
own name.
Leaving the pins on the ground, I took a deep breath and popped up to
peer through the door. Maybe I could safely throw one off to the side? Fuck.
I didn’t even know the blasting power of these things. This was all kinds of
fucked up.
“Freeze,” a voice behind me barked.
I jumped, almost dropping my grenades.
“Turn around slowly.”
I pivoted, keeping my hands slightly away from my body.
“Fuck,” said a guy dressed in black with a gun, his eyes glued to the
grenades. “Where are the fucking pins?”
“I swallowed them,” I said, unsure where that brain wave came from.
“Crazy bitch. Step away from there.”
“Actually, I think I’ll go inside. If you shoot me and I drop them, we are
both dead.”
“Fuck.”
I backed against the doors and pushed them open with my butt.
“What the hell is this?” the unfamiliar voice greeted me, and I turned
away from the gunman, who hesitantly followed me into the room.
My confidence grew seeing the shocked expressions on the faces of the
men inside as I lifted my arms. The atmosphere shifted.
“Nobody move,” I shouted, my voice shaky.
“What are you going to do, you dumb bitch?” Cian shifted on his feet
next to the unfamiliar man.
My gaze found Sean behind them. His arms were restrained painfully,
and his eyes widened minutely before slipping back into a blank expression.
He tracked my hands along with everyone else. Rada and Loch gazed at me
with hard expressions.
A slow clap snapped my attention to a face that haunted my nightmares.
Boyan, the man who pretended to love my mamá for years only to abuse
her and then let his friends destroy her. I’d feared coming face-to-face with
him for a decade, But now, standing holding two live grenades, a livid rage
bubbled up inside me.
“You fucking pig,” I spat at him.
He grinned at me. “Such fire. Just like your mother. But that’s no way to
greet your father.”
Father! Everything inside me stilled, and my arms fell.
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31
T he fecking plan had gone to shite, and as we waited for Boyan to arrive, I
swear I could hear Pa fucking laughing from his grave. “That’s what you
get for trusting people, Seany-boy.” Well, fuck off, old man.
I ground my teeth, working on my bindings as I sat on the floor of one
of our older warehouses. My shoulder throbbed, and blood trickled down
my chest where the stitches had burst open after Cian drove his thumb into
the wound. He would die painfully. Rage simmered inside me. He was
supposed to be tied up at home, but I’d missed a crucial player in the game.
Fecking Uncle Declan.
The double-crossing bastard had never been dead. I’d seen his body
briefly but had not suspected Cian then. That part had been more recent,
and the information Liam sent me yesterday proved the money-siphoning
source. Torturing the little shite hadn’t helped because, despite pretending
to be the mastermind, he knew little of the broader plan. Presumably, Uncle
Declan had promised him more power in their newly snatched organisation.
Good luck with that, boys.
Declan’s 'Lazarus’ moment was the only reason they got the jump on us
at the main warehouse after we visited the club's burnt-out shell. I wasn’t
expecting to see him, and that momentary shock was enough. That and nine
guys – ten, if you count the one Loch managed to kill.
Fuming, I kept my face a blank mask. I needed Boyan here to clear this
mess up. Things hadn’t gone to plan, but I was confident my inside man
would adapt to the circumstances. I needed to get Amy before she woke up.
Cian had woken up effing and jeffing about Uncle Declan drugging him
along with the girls. He taunted me that Amy had been hog-tied, and I
added it to my mental tally of pain I’d be dolling out to him. Torture was
too good for that traitor.
Uncle Declan was strutting about like a peacock, waiting for his new
best buddy, Stefanov, to arrive. He’d always been a pain in the arse, and I’d
only avenged his death because he was family. In truth, I was well shot of
him. Except, I fecking wasn’t shot of him at all.
“After this, I’ll be the boss, just as I should have been after Connall’s
death.”
“Shite for brains,” Loch mumbled.
I laughed, a deep, reverberating laugh, and Cian darted forward, pistol-
whipping me across the face. The pain exploded across my cheek, and I
laughed harder, spitting blood onto the floor.
“You couldn’t head up a girl guide troop, you fecking eejit.”
Declan’s face was a contorted mask as he grabbed my chin, forcing my
head up.
“I’ll start by fucking that stripper bitch in all her holes.”
“For that, I’ll skin your dick first.”
He punched me, and my head snapped to the side.
“Teenage girls hit harder than you, Declan.” I sneered at him as the
room spun lightly.
Shouting from outside the room pulled my attention to the double doors.
Declan stormed over and dragged them open.
“How the fuck did she get out?” he shouted into the corridor.
Who? My heart thrashed against my rib cage.
“Fuck you,” Rada screamed, followed by the unmistakable sound of
spitting.
Loch stiffened at my side.
“You’ll pay for that, you fucking whore.” A slap rang out into the room.
Loch roared, his enormous frame lurching forward, straining to stand.
One of Declan’s lackeys kicked him in the chest, and he crashed back
down.
“I’m going to enjoy fucking you in front of your husband,” Declan
mocked.
“We have business to attend to.” Boyan Stefanov swept past Declan and
into the room.
Declan dragged Rada inside and motioned for his men to tie her up.
Cian kicked Loch in the ribs while he was on the floor. The fucking coward
wouldn’t take him on unrestrained.
Petar and Viktor Stefanov followed their father inside. Petar was
everything our surveillance footage confirmed. He was shorter than his
brother and had greasy hair and manic darting eyes. He held his weapon in
his twitchy right hand. Viktor was the picture of calm as his cold, pale blue
eyes swept the room. Tattoos crawled up his neck and across the backs of
his hands, but he was dressed smartly in a suit. His eyes flickered over me
without recognition.
Was Amy out there too? Everyone was going to die. I ground my jaw,
praying for patience and working the biting plastic-free. I hated that the
plan had taken this turn. They deposited a tied-up Rada next to Loch, who
shuffled towards her.
“Three for the price of one deal.” Declan smirked, gesturing at us.
The door opened again, pulling everyone’s attention.
“What the hell is this?” Declan shouted.
The man had lost the room. And he thought he’d take my organisation
from me.
My heart stopped as Amy walked in, gripping a grenade in each hand. A
guy with a gun followed her, looking ready to piss himself.
“Who gave Amy grenades?” I murmured, casting a glance at Rada, who
looked smug.
Jesus wept.
“Nobody move,” she shouted, her voice wavering.
My queen. As much as I hated her being here and so close to explosives,
I couldn’t help but feel pride at her entrance.
“What are you going to do, you dumb bitch?” Cian said angrily, but he
looked nervous.
Her wild gaze found mine, and I locked my eyes with hers.
“Fecking hell,” Loch muttered next to me.
A slow clap caused Amy to twist. The grenades moved in a wide arc as
she turned to Boyan. This was precisely what I wanted her to avoid. To my
surprise, her face contorted with rage, and she spat at his feet.
“You fucking pig.”
His grin told me he was about to shatter her with his words and heat
flushed through my body. I wanted to explode forward and silence him.
“Such fire. Just like your mother. But that’s no way to greet your
father.”
Amy jolted with shock, and her hands fell to her sides. The men around
the room threw themselves to the ground.
“No!” I shouted, causing her to jump and clutch the grenades to her
chest, her frame trembling.
A gunshot rang out, and Declan slumped to the ground. Boyan dropped
his gun hand back down.
“What did you do?” Cian gaped at him.
Declan’s feckless men scrambled to their feet, guns raised, but Viktor
and Petar picked them off with ease and levelled their weapons at Cian,
pinning him in place.
I watched Amy like a hawk, every gunshot sending a flinch through her
body.
Silence rang out as the last of Declan’s men slumped to the ground. Two
men I recognised now lay blindly unseeing on their backs. Great, fewer
traitors to kill later.
Boyan ignored Cian. His eyes were on his daughter. “Where are the
pins, dashte?”
“I swallowed them.” Amy’s voice was thick with tears.
My protective instincts raged with the need to gather her up. I hated
this.
Boyan cursed in Bulgarian.
“What the fuck is going on?” Cian screamed, but he wasn’t asking
Boyan. He was talking to Petar, whose shifty eyes darted around, avoiding
his gaze.
“Isn’t this what you wanted? To kill your uncle so that you could be the
Irish King.” Boyan’s voice was mocking, his accent growing thicker with
his sarcasm. “Except you didn’t make that deal with me.” He nodded to
Viktor. “Kill him.”
“But—” Petar started.
Viktor put a bullet through his brother’s head, and he slumped to the
floor in a heap. Amy gasped, clutching the grenades to her chest. Don’t drop
them yet, a chuisle. I urged her, catching her terrified eyes. She backed
against the wall, shivering violently.
“You made a deal with my traitorous son. Do you think I don’t know
everything that goes on in my house?” Boyan carried on conversationally as
if he hadn’t just ordered one of his children to kill the other.
Not everything, old man.
“I’ve got an opening for a child now,” Boyan said, turning to Amy and
smiling like a crocodile.
“You’re crazy,” Cian screamed, waving his gun around.
“You’ve still got a deal. Put that down, you stupid boy,” Boyan spat.
Cian’s eyes swung around the room, catching on me. I stared back. It’s
time to pay the piper, cousin.
He twisted back to Boyan and fired. Boyan’s man, who had trailed Amy
into the room, immediately shot back. Boyan staggered, bending double,
and Cian gasped, falling forward as blood bloomed on his chest. He half
turned towards me, and I sneered at him.
“You got off lightly, you fucking traitor,” I said as he gurgled his last
breaths.
Amy had slid fully down the wall now, her eyes wide and knuckles
white around the grenades. Hold on, a chuisle.
“Get him out of here,” Viktor barked at the guy who shot Cian,
motioning towards his father.
“Kill them and bring your new sister.” Boyan coughed, tearing open a
bulletproof vest. Fucker hadn’t been shot after all. Although he looked like
shit, wheezing and gripping his chest as his henchman helped him up and
out of the room.
Viktor watched them leave, then stalked over, his gun drawn.
“No!” Amy screeched, scrambling to her feet awkwardly while holding
her grenades.
“Call off your woman,” Viktor said, a smirk on his lips.
“Fecking untie me, you eejit,” I hissed.
“Sorry, I don’t speak Carney.”
I glared at him for that slur. The prick was enjoying this.
“Wait, Amy. Just hold those grenades. Viktor is with us.”
She blinked at me in shock.
“It’s not my fault your shitty plan went sideways.” He produced a flick
blade and sliced through the bindings.
“Where has your father gone?”
“He’s about to meet someone very special.” Viktor smirked.
“That wasn’t the plan. He was going to meet Loch’s tool selection in the
warehouse.”
“But torture is so messy and slow,” Viktor mused.
His accent was much less pronounced than his father’s.
I rubbed at my torn wrists and flexed my hand as pain lanced down
from my shoulder. As soon as I staggered to my feet, I grabbed Amy. She
fell against me, crying. I cradled her hands, making sure she kept hold of
the grenades.
“Do we need to be on shite watch until you pass those pins? Or did you
not swallow them?” I asked her.
“No.” She hiccupped. “They are behind the crate outside.”
“Might as well use them to start the fire.” Viktor mused.
“Of course, you wouldn’t have a problem with arson on my property,” I
said.
“Naturally,” he replied, smirking.
“What is going on?” Rada’s voice shook as she glared at Viktor from
Loch’s arms.
“There is a change in Stefanov’s leadership,” I said.
“Why are you aligning yourself with them? Fucking traffickers.” She
glared first at me, then at Loch.
“Viktor plans to clean up his organisation. He hates trafficking and is
shutting it down. Our organisations will work together just as we planned
originally.”
We both knew alliances were more lucrative than war.
“We’ve been working to our mutual benefit for months. But we needed
to flush out the traitors. Viktor’s brother made a deal with Declan for a
different alliance,” I said.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she rounded on Loch.
Someone was in trouble. He began frantically trying to explain to her in
a low voice.
“No, Loch. We could work with him to find my sister!”
“We will. I only just found all this out!” Loch sent me an angry look.
“If he closes down the trafficking, we might never find her,” she
sobbed.
Viktor was studying the exchange with a curious expression.
“Did you know he was my father?” Amy’s tear-stained face suddenly
held the same accusation.
I could have lied and told her I didn’t believe she was Boyan’s daughter.
“I suspected it.”
The hurt behind her eyes cut into me deeper than the press of Cian’s
finger into my gunshot wound.
“I guess that makes you my half-sister,” Viktor said. “Pass me those.”
He carefully took the grenades from Amy, and I pulled her into my arms.
My heart sank as I realised how stiff she was.
“Let’s go. You can throw them in from the rear door,” I said, heading for
the fire exit.
Viktor jogged along with us. “Run,” he barked as we reached the door.
We flung ourselves into the field behind the warehouse at a dead run. A
distant clanging and feet pounding behind me told me Viktor had chucked
the grenades and was running, too.
The explosion burst into the night, and a wave of momentum threw us
forward. I landed on top of Amy, who screamed. Loch rolled forward,
clutching Rada. I turned back to see the colossal fireball engulfing the
warehouse. I scrambled off Amy, checking her for injuries, but she just
huddled in on herself.
“Who is dealing with your father?” I asked Viktor as he stumbled to his
feet.
“The Surgeon. He’ll send me proof of death.”
I blinked at him. The notorious psycho-for-hire and serial killer the
media called the Surgeon had Boyan.
“How the hell did you get him to agree?”
Word was you couldn’t pay him to take jobs. He was the unhinged
bogeyman of the mob world – no allegiances, no allies, and no trace of him.
“He came to me, saying he had a score to settle with my father. He said
he knew we were working together.”
“How the hell did a psycho like that know when I only just found out?”
Loch asked.
A million questions burst into my head, all of them about security and
leaks.
“Don’t ask me how he knew. The guy’s crazy,” Viktor said, dusting his
suit off.
Amy started laughing maniacally. “Someone crazier than you guys.”
She doubled over, wheezing, and then retched, throwing up onto the
grass.
I grabbed her waist, but she batted at my hand ineffectually and then
tried to twist away. I yanked her against me. She wasn’t pulling away from
me now.
“I want proof too,” I told Viktor.
“Oh, I think he plans to visit you himself.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I think you’ve got an admirer.” Viktor smirked.
“We need to get out of here,” Loch said, cradling Rada in a bridal carry.
She seemed lost to her demons.
The sirens were pulling closer as we jogged back to the cars. Amy
wouldn’t look at me, but I didn’t let her go. I didn’t care how long it took
her to come around. She wasn’t going anywhere.
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A my remained stiff all the way home. Once alone in our room, I crowded
her in the shower and stripped her clothes. She shivered and stared at the
floor.
“I didn’t know for sure he was your father, but I knew it would break
your heart. It doesn’t matter who your sperm donor was. Just as it doesn’t
matter who mine was.”
“How did you find out?” she asked in a small voice.
“Thomas did a more in-depth background check. He found Boyan took
over the club your mother worked for. They started an affair, but she moved
away when she found out she was pregnant. She had you and returned to
work at a different club. But he eventually found her. He was in and out of
your lives after that. He had other illegitimate children, but Petar gradually
killed them all off.”
She gasped, her eyes flying up to mine. I yanked her underwear off and
backed her under the spray.
“Viktor is the only one of Stefanovs with a set of brain cells. I met him a
few years ago at an investment dinner. He was working to bring their gang
into the business sphere. He hates people trafficking. The deal that
supposedly resulted in Uncle Declan’s death was our first attempt at a small
alliance. Unfortunately, we both trusted the wrong people.” I gestured for
her to squeeze some shower gel into my good hand and began washing her.
“How did you find out?” she murmured.
“Viktor contacted me after everything happened, but it took a while for
us to trust each other again. Eventually, we realised there was a rat on both
sides. However, working out who was behind it took even longer.” I sighed.
“Boyan enjoyed playing the brothers off against each other, and everything
was harder to prove with him in prison. Petar finally showed his hand to
Viktor, and he alerted me last night, which was why Cian was in the cells.”
She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. I tugged her into my
body.
“My gut told me that Cian was involved, but my brain told me he was
too dumb to pull it off. I couldn’t find the proof to back up my hunch. I
didn’t want to execute a member of my family on a whim. The men didn’t
blink when I killed my father because they had lost that much faith in him
and lived in constant fear of him turning on them. Some fear is good, but
excess breeds disloyalty.” I hung my head. “What I never expected, and
regret not considering, was that Uncle Declan was still alive. It meant I
didn’t look in the right places for my traitor.”
That stupid assumption could have gotten us all killed.
“It’s not your fault,” Amy breathed.
“It is. I am the boss. You could have been harmed, and that is
unacceptable.”
“Even if I’m his daughter?” Tears welled in her eyes.
“I told you I didn’t care about that. It might be hard for you to accept,
but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You are my heart.” I cupped her
cheek.
She nuzzled into me, and I wished I could take away the devastation
behind her eyes. I shucked my drenched shirt off, and Amy’s eyes flew to
the bloody, reopened wound on my shoulder.
“Oh, Sean.” She made a choked noise as her hands hovered over me.
“No tears, a chuisle. We start our new life now. There’s no more war
with the Bulgarians. Viktor and I will hammer out a new deal that sees us
build a stable alliance. They have the supply chains we need, and we have
the merchandise. Their trafficking rings will go, and we’ll form a
collaboration that strengthens us both.”
“How can you trust him?”
“Trust is earned. So far, Viktor has proven he’s trustworthy. But half-
brother or not, if he double-crosses me, he’s dead. However, I don’t believe
he would back down from this.”
My father would never have trusted someone like Viktor Stefanov. But I
wasn’t my father, and I built my empire – far bigger than his ever was –
based on calculated risk.
“I’m not sure how I feel about Viktor,” Amy confessed.
“You don’t have to feel anything for him. Family is what you choose it
to be. You get to surround yourself with your people; they don’t have to be
blood. Aithníonn ciaraóg ciaraóg eile.”
“What does that mean?”
“Roughly, it translates to ‘one beetle recognises another.’ In other
words, you find your people or beetles.”
“Beetles? You are crazy.”
“Crazy about you.” I pressed her back against the tiles and kissed her
pouty lips.
She kissed me back, then shoved at my uninjured shoulder. I pulled
back, ready to ease off. While I wanted to distract her with orgasms, she’d
been through a lot.
“I’m still mad at you,” she said, but her eyes were hooded.
“Let’s see if I can help with that.” I dropped to my knees and grabbed
her thigh, pulling her pussy to my face. “Tell me to stop, a chuisle.”
“Don’t stop.” She cupped the back of my head.
The water streamed down us as I buried my tongue in her folds. She
gasped, grabbing my hair and thrusting her pelvis against me. I drowned in
the taste of her as I licked and sucked, centring on her clit and harassing it
with my tongue. My dick pulsed painfully against the confines of the damp
fabric of my trousers. Her taste exploded across my tongue, and I poured all
my obsession with her into my efforts, circling her clit mercilessly.
“Sean!” she cried as I sucked it into my mouth.
She ground her pussy against me, and her hands slipped for purchase
against the tiles. I gripped her thigh as she squirmed, working her into a
frenzy with rapid strokes. Her panting breaths increased as I licked her. I
flexed my tongue, and she came with a scream. I lapped up her release as
she shivered above me.
I stood up, licking my lips, and her dazed expression was just what I
wanted to see as I tugged the button on my trousers open, ripping down the
wet material and freeing my cock.
“Have you had enough?” I asked her.
She eyed my cock and bit her lip. I hated that I couldn’t pick her up
properly with my injured arm. As if reading my mind, she turned and stuck
out her peachy arse. I leaned down and bit it lightly, and she squealed.
“Hands on the wall,” I told her, and she resumed her position.
Sliding my cock through her wet cheeks, I couldn’t wait as I pressed
inside her. She moaned and gripped me with her silky walls.
“Fuck.” I grabbed her shoulder as I bottomed out, bliss rising in my
spine. “You are mine. You aren’t going anywhere, and if I need to keep you
on my cock until you believe it, brainwash you with orgasms, then I will.”
She pulsed around me and moaned.
“You looked fucking hot walking into that room with two grenades.” I
shuttled into her, violently fucking her.
My fear over her safety and the adrenaline of the evening fuelled my
crazed movements – the need to reassert my ownership of her beat at my
temples.
“So fucking dangerous. So fucking mine.”
“Sean! Harder.”
“You want it harder.” I gripped her shoulder, doubling down my thrusts
as she moaned.
Our skin slapped together with the water raining down across us. The
madness took over, and pressure built at the base of my spine. She felt like
heaven, and my climax raced up towards me far too fast. I wanted to fill her
up repeatedly.
“You might want to hate me, but you can’t. You are mine. All fucking
mine,” I raged, pounding in and out of her hot, wet heat. “Come on my
cock.”
She tightened around me, gasping my name and sending me over the
edge. I spilt into her as pleasure filled me right to my fingertips. A few more
jerky thrusts, and I glanced down, watching my cum dripping out of her.
Fuck. That sight made my cock jerk with one last spurt. I pulled out and
used my fingers to scoop some back into her. She moaned about being over-
sensitive. I relented and turned her around. She melted into me, and I tilted
her lips up to mine, kissing her.
“I’ll organise the priest for the weekend. We’ll get married here.”
She blinked up at me, the post-orgasm haze clearing. “What?”
“You heard me. I don’t want any doubt in your mind that I belong to
you, and you belong to me.”
She shook her head in disbelief, and I tugged her into my chest.
Loch got Rada’s name tattooed on him as a wedding gift to her. I
thought he might be onto something and decided to cover up some of my
faded tattoos because they reminded me of stupid teenage choices.
Choosing Amy wasn’t a choice I’d ever regret.
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A my ’ s hair fanned the pillows, and her face finally looked relaxed in
sleep. Her words earlier nearly broke me. Hearing her say she had no choice
but to marry me. It flashed me back to Ma, and all the work I’d done to
avoid becoming my father came crashing down. I was a ruthless bastard
who called the shots and backed them up with unilateral actions. I realised
I’d pushed Loch away and left Amy feeling trapped. The jealous, possessive
beast inside my chest wasn’t going anywhere, but I could curb the ruthless
decision-making when it came to her.
I leaned back against the headboard, too wired to sleep. My shoulder
was aching again like a bitch. Dr Ali had re-sutured it and had me on a
course of antibiotics. Fuck knows where Cian’s dirty finger had been.
My phone buzzed on the bedside table.
Unknown: Meet me in the library
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The rest of the day was a blur of celebrating and eating. Trixie had
grumbled about external caterers, but she’d clearly been enjoying her day
off and looked cosy sitting with Albert. She caught me looking at her and
shot me the bird. She was feisty, but she’d helped me secure the surprise for
our wedding night, so I’d let her off her rude hand gesture.
“Time to go, wife,” Sean growled at me, nipping at my ear as he swept
me up with his good arm.
There was wolf-whistling as Sean carried me out of the marquee.
“You didn’t dance.” I smoothed his tie down, excited for his surprise.
“You do the dancing in our marriage.”
“I do,” I agreed.
He carried me over the house’s threshold and up the stairs. I imagined
his reaction to my surprise, and arousal curled around me.
“I have a wedding gift for you.”
Sean’s steps slowed as we arrived at our room.
“Is it underneath this dress?” he asked, nuzzling my neck and making
me giggle.
My dress was simple: a lace-topped gown with a long organza skirt.
“Maybe. Put me down and close your eyes.”
“Not going to put you down,” he growled, closing his eyes as he walked
us inside.
I glanced around, making sure everything was in place. The newly
installed pole gleamed silver in the candlelight from the tea lights around
the room.
“Walk to your left,” I told him.
The madman wouldn’t put me down or open his eyes.
“Stop,” I told him before he tripped over the new armchair I’d placed
next to the pole. “Open your eyes.”
They flickered open, staring hungrily down at me before glancing
around.
“Is it a private show for our wedding night?” His pupils dilated.
“It’s a private show forever.”
I loved dancing, but I hated the stares, except for his. I never wanted to
dance for anyone but him, and I couldn’t wait to feel the burning weight of
his gaze on me again. My body suddenly felt hot beneath my dress. I tapped
his arm to put me down and gestured to the seat.
He grinned and sat down, spreading his legs, and reclining in his god-
like pose. His hungry eyes took me in.
I perched on his lap. “I need your help with the buttons.”
During my mastermind plotting, I realised my dream wedding dress
didn’t fit my stripping plans. The look on Sean’s face told me he didn’t
mind helping. His strong fingers released the tiny buttons, and he leaned
forward to kiss down my spine. His breath hitched as he glimpsed my
underwear.
Once the last button was open, I pulled away, releasing my arms from
the dress but holding it to me. I grabbed the remote and set the tracks I’d
chosen for this before turning back to face Sean. Anticipation warmed me
as I waited for a beat before letting the dress peel down to the floor,
exposing the sheer white bodice and barely there thong, complete with
suspenders.
Sean groaned, palming his erection against his suit trousers.
“Fuck me. I’m the luckiest bastard alive.”
I swung into a routine on the pole, loving the heavy breathing I was
eliciting from Sean.
The music transported me away as I danced, snatching glances at Sean,
whose greedy eyes watched me. I ended the song on the floor and crawled
towards him, flipping up to dance a hair breath from him. His familiar
aftershave fed my desire as I watched his chest rise and fall, his pupils full-
blown. It was heady to have a powerful man’s attention and know he was
mine.
“Husband,” I whispered in his ear, and it was all it took to crack his
control.
He grabbed me, his fingers flying into my hair and smashing our lips
together. I moaned into the kiss as he plundered my mouth.
Standing abruptly, he walked me back to the bed. His hand twisted the
material of my thong, snapping it, the scraps of material falling to the floor.
He yanked my corset down, and my breasts spilled free. His hungry mouth
ravaged them as he crowded me against the bed.
“Say it again,” he growled.
“Husband,” I said, scooting back on the bed and spreading my legs to
show him the mess he’d made of me.
“Wife,” he grunted before tearing at his suit trousers and shirt. I
watched his feral movements with satisfaction, needy and squirming on the
bed. Every inch of golden skin that came into view was a treat.
Then he was on me, his blazing hot skin against mine and his delicious
weight pressing me down. Without missing a beat, he was pressing into me.
The stretch was almost too much, but I was so wet it made it possible.
“Fecking hell. It gets better every time,” he groaned, bottoming out as
he settled flush against me.
I was so full.
“Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours. Forever.”
And I felt it down to my soul. Sean had muscled into my life and
snatched me away, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
His thrusts built up speed, lighting up part of me, and my eyes fell
closed.
“Watch me, wife. Watch me as I fill you up.”
My eyes snapped to his and the dark madness they held. I fell into their
depths as an orgasm built, feeling him hammer into me.
“Going to live here, inside you,” Sean choked out as I raced towards my
orgasm.
“Touch yourself; I want to feel that pussy clenching me. Milking me.”
His filthy words had my hand flying to my clit. I roughly circled it as he
thrust into me, and then I broke, flying to pieces and soaring with pleasure.
Sean growled and stuttered until I felt him fill me with a roar. My orgasm
continued to pulse through me, the aftershocks almost as strong as the
climax itself.
Sean pressed a kiss to my lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said, smoothing his hair from his sweaty forehead.
“You’re stuck with me now.”
“Forever.”
He rolled us, and I ended up sprawled across his chest, breathing in the
possibility of a life I never dreamed of. Sleepy bliss allowed me to drift
until I felt Sean hardening beneath me.
“Dance for me with my cum dripping out of you.”
Immediately, my lust fired back up.
Our wedding night continued into the early hours of the morning.
Eventually exhausted, we collapsed back into bed. Sean fell asleep, but I
remained awake, watching the sun creep over the horizon.
A robin landed on the window ledge, and I couldn’t help but think of
Mamá. I watched as it hopped about. She deserved better than her fate, but I
hoped she was at peace. That she could see me and was happy for me.
Despite my best efforts, I’d fallen in love with a mafia man, but Sean taught
me that not every mobster was the same. He treated me like his queen, and
he became my king.
The robin flew away, and somehow, I knew she’d sent it. I thanked
Mamá for teaching me to love so fiercely by her example.
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OceanofPDF.com
37 EPILOGUE
O ne year later
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AFTERWORD
Thank you for reading this book and joining me in this new series. I would
greatly appreciate it if you could leave a review on Amazon.
My Book
So… Viktor had Rada’s sister, Lina! Their story will be next in the
Obsessed Mafia Men series. And perhaps a certain sexy psychopath called
Mason might be the third… Watch this space! Sign up for my newsletter for
updates and to see the character art of Sean meeting Amy for the first
time.
https://ccgedling.myflodesk.com/ky27wl6c7y
If you’ve not read Loch and Rada’s story, Craving Revenge is out on KU.
https://books2read.com/u/4AazDK
Interested in reading the Steel Brothers stories? Liam and Chloe’s
story, Steel Vengeance. And Oscar and Eve’s story, Steel Protection. Are
both available on KU https://books2read.com/u/m2QDWR
How about a short story about Cat Amy’s medic roommate? Valentine’s
Desires. It’s available on my Ream, along with a variety of other BDSM
shorts, featuring a Dom called Gene, who goes by the title of The Desire
Genie. Granting desires is his thing. This collection of stories will come out
later this year. In the meantime, read them and my ongoing projects by
subscribing to Ream
https://reamstories.com/ccgedling
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Website – www.ccgedling.com
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