1 FAMILY

1.1 Family and its function in society

Family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society, and men and women of full age,
without any limitation due to race, nationality, or religion, have the right to marry and found a
family. A family is a social unit consisting of a mother, a father, and children. They share certain
goals and values and live together in one home. The family is an institution that provides
protection, education, socialisation, and care for the aged, sick, or disabled.
The family fulfils a biological, sociological, emotional, economic, and educational
function. Reproduction and the upbringing of children are important functions of the family.
One of the basic rights of the parents is to decide how many children to have and when to have
them. The child should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love,
and understanding. The family is also expected to educate the child so that it could develop all
its abilities. Members of the family share their feelings, parents teach children how to love, and
they give them love and of course, support their emotions. Family is not only a part of society,
but a family is also an economical unit. Both parents should work and make money for the
family to satisfy their needs. So the family has to be an object of protection as well as an
institution that should be free from all kinds of intervention and discrimination.
The family structures:
– the nuclear family – this type of family structure consists of two generations (parents and
children) living in the same household,
– the extended family – consists of three generations (grandparents, parents, and children)
living in the same household,
– the single-parent family –there is only one parent (mother or father) and her/his children,
– the step (reconstituted) family – when a divorced partner or widow/widower remarries
again. Reasons of existence a single-parent family: the death of a marriage partner, divorce,
pregnancy outside marriage.

Discuss the questions and express your opinion:

– What are the pros and cons of coming from a large family or being the only child?
– What are the main roles of children and parents in a family?
– Write a list of reasons why people get married and start a family.
– How do married couples help each other? Should everybody get married?

1.2 Family members – description

A family is a group of people, consisting of one or two parents and their children. They share
certain goals and values and live together in one home. Living in the family is very important
for every human being. Our parents take care of us from our births until we grow up. The family
includes our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and other members,
too. Our family supports us when we need it. They are with us in all the most important
moments of our lives. Family makes the home. At home, we learn all the skills that we need for
life: how to get on with people, how to be tolerant, self-disciplined, polite, and helpful. As
members of the family, we have different relationships with the people we live with. The people
closest to us are our parents. They care about our health, problems, and pains. The relationship
with our parents is special: we love them, but we have to respect and obey them as they are
responsible for our upbringing
Relationships with grandparents are similar to those with our parents, but there is one important
difference: grandparents are not responsible for us. We do not live with them, so most of us see
our grandparents only once or twice a month.
However, our siblings are much closer to us. They are from the same generation, share similar
hobbies, and sometimes have the same opinions. Having brothers or sisters means that you will
always have someone who belongs to you, who shares memories with you, and who can help
you. Our best friend can be any member of the family – someone who is sincere, polite, helpful,
warm-hearted, tolerant, friendly, patient, dutiful, and responsible.
Parenting style is an activity or way of looking after children as a parent. There are 4 different
parenting styles:
1. Authoritarian parents – strictly force their children to obey and respect their set of rules or
laws that are often wrong or unfair. These parents demand complete obedience from their
children.
2. Authoritative parents – behave and speak in a confident determined way that makes
children respect and obey them.
3. Permissive parents – allow great freedom of behaviour to children.
4. Uninvolved parents – are not very interested in the upbringing of their children.

Discuss the questions and express your opinion:

– Which member of your family are you closest to and why?
– What are the advantages of having brothers or sisters?
– What qualities do you like about your brother or sister?

1.3 Traditional and modern family

The way families lived in the past

Society is traditionally based on a nuclear family living in the same house and closely involved
in each others’ lives. Fifty years ago, the typical family was a husband and a wife, and two or
three children. The father spent all day at work and made most of the decisions about how the
money he earned was spent. The mother stayed at home to manage the house and look after the
children. Children were expected to obey their parents.
Modern families
Many modern families live rather differently, and because of this people think that the family
unit is dying and society is being weakened. Many couples still get married, but others live
together without getting married. A few years ago, couples living together usually got married
when they wanted to start a family, but this happens less now. Another trend is for people to
get married later in life and to have fewer children, so the size of the average family is shrinking.
In recent years there have been many changes in family life. Some of these have been caused
by new laws and others are the result of changes in society. Marriage is losing its status, and
the number of divorces has increased, in fact, one marriage in every three now ends in divorce.
This means that there are a lot of single-parent families. Society is now more tolerant than it
used to be of unmarried people. You might think that marriage and the family are not as popular
as they once were. However, the majority of divorced people marry again.
Members of a family – grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – keep in touch, but they see less
of each other than they used to. This is because people often move away from their hometown
to work, and so the family becomes scattered. In general, each generation is keen to become
independent of parents. The role of a father is changing too. Most men would like to share
childcare duties with their wives or partners. The new dad is much involved in taking care of
the children as the mother. However, there is the traditional type of father, who does not see
himself as involved in the day-to-day care of his children. There are two more types of fathers
– entertainer dad is keeping his children laughing while his partner gets on with household
chores. Useful dad is willing to help out around the house.
Nowadays it is quite common not to start a family until they reach their 30s. People usually
limit themselves to one or two children. There are several reasons for this. First is that many of
them want to establish a career before having children. Another is that they want to become
financially secure.

Discuss the questions and express your opinion:

– Why are modern families smaller than those fifty years ago?
– What do you think about cohabitation? What are the main reasons for divorce?
– Do you like the idea of a husband taking paternity leave? Why?

1.4 Problems in families, generational problems

Relationships within the family are different now. Each generation wants to become
independent of parents in establishing its own family and these facts lead to a generation gap.
The generation gap is a gap between parents and children. It is a lack of comprehension.
The generational gap reflects the differences between people of a younger and older
generation, between children and their parents.
The main reason for its existence is cultural misunderstanding and political and social changes
in our society. The older generation is unable to adapt and accept modern life. This leads to
conflict between parents and their children. Parents treat their children more as equals than they
used to, and children have more freedom to make their own decisions. There are fewer strict
parents and more parents who are friends with their children. The main problems are connected
with money, behaviour, experience, knowledge, and lack of responsibility.
The other problems are connected with parents ´opinions about fashion, free time, friends,
lifestyle and some things that parents think their child is too young for. For example, some
parents don’t understand how can their child spend so much time on the computer. They say
that in their childhood they used to do different things. Today’s lifestyle differs, and
entertainment is different too. Parents have to get used to weird music, terrible movies, and
other unpleasant things that their children love.
Another type of conflict is problems regarding school and profession. It is obvious that children
are not responsible and they don’t care about their future. Parents want the best for their children
and want them to have a happy future. Arguments between the generations are common enough,
especially quarrels about subjects such as lack of responsibility, money, behaviour, knowledge,
and experience. The elders expect the young to learn how to live within their means, that is, not
to waste their money. But who can decide what is or is not necessary, and when the money is
misused? Young people feel that parents don’t treat them as equals. They treat them as little
children, and young people don’t like that. Parents sometimes don’t have time to spend with
their children, to talk to them, and so on ...
Young people don’t have enough experience. It is difficult for them to find a good job and earn
money.
Generations can be distinguished by the differences in their language use. The generation gap
has created a parallel gap in language that can be difficult to communicate across. The young
generation wants to be different so they adopt new language and slang – a set of colloquial
words and phrases that speakers use to establish their own unique identity. Social problems:
child abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, rape, unemployment.

Discuss the questions and express your opinion:

– How to train our children to be independent when they grow up?
– What makes a good parent and what makes a good child?
– What are the most common conflicts in your family? How do you deal with occasional
misunderstandings or conflicts?