A Consumer’s Report’

by Peter Porter

A Consumers Report’ by Peter Porter is a modern poem that presents a conversation between
a consumer and a retailer. On one side stands the poet as a buyer and on the other, an
unknown seller is waiting for feedback from his customer. Ironically, the product is “life”, the
most precious yet impermanent. The deal has worked fine both for the poet and the seller. In
this poem, the poet writes a reply or report about the product that he has been using
throughout. Moreover, the way he presents the subject matter is interesting. It gives readers a
new perspective to think about life.

Before reading the poem, it is important to understand that it uses humor and sarcasm to
compare life to a product being reviewed by a consumer. The speaker talks as if he is filling out
a report, expressing frustration, confusion, and disappointment about life’s purpose and value.
The poem does not provide clear answers but instead makes the reader think about how
people try to understand life. Expect irony and a lighthearted tone that raises deep questions
about existence, choices, and whether life has any real instructions to follow.

A Consumer's Report (English)

Peter Porter

The name of the product I tested is Life, I have completed the form you sent me and
understand that my answers are confidential.

I had it as a gift,

I didn't feel much while using it,

in fact I think I'd have liked to be more excited.

It seemed gentle on the hands

but left an embarrassing deposit behind.

It was not economical

and I have used much more than I thought

(I suppose I have about half left

but it's difficult to tell) –

although the instructions are fairly large

there are so many of them

I don't know which to follow, especially

as they seem to contradict each other.

I'm not sure such a thing

should be put in the way of children –

it's difficult to think of a purpose

for it. One of my friends says

it's just to keep its maker in a job.

Also the price is much too high.

Things are piling up so fast,

after all, the world got by

for a thousand million years

without this, do we need it now?

(Incidentally, please ask your man

to stop calling me ‘the respondent’,

I don't like the sound of it.)

There seems to be a lot of different labels,

sizes and colours should be uniform

the shape is awkward, it’s waterproof

but not heat resistant, it doesn’t keep

yet it’s very difficult to get rid of:

whenever they make it cheaper they seem

to put less in – if you say you don’t

want it, then it’s delivered anyway.

I’d agree it’s a popular product,

it’s got into the language; people

even say they’re on the side of it.

Personally I think its overdone,

a small thing people are ready

to behave badly about. I think

we should take it for granted. If it’s

experts are called philosophers or

market researchers or historians, we shouldn’t

care. We are the consumers and the last

law makers. So finally, I’d buy it.

But the question of a ‘best buy’

I’d like to leave until I get

the competitive product you said you’d send.

Summary

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Porter is the report of the product that the poet has been using
throughout his life.

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Porter presents “life” as a product that the poet received from
the manufacturer to use. Now, he writes about the report of how the product worked for him.
Naturally, for sustaining this product, the poet has to invest in it. So, it wasn’t an economical
choice while he was buying it. Moreover, the poet says, the product is tough to get rid of, and
the container in which it thrives is also very costly to maintain. At some point, the poet thought
to keep it aside. But, in reality, it isn’t possible for a living person. After writing a long report
describing the pros and cons of the product like an educated and alert buyer, he says he’d like
to buy it if the seller sends him the “competitive product” he promised.

Structure

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Porter is a free verse that is 51 lines long. The first three lines
act as the prologue of the report and the second section contains the poet’s feedback.
Moreover, the poet writes this poem from a first-person point-of-view. For this reason, it’s a
lyric. Apart from that, the conversational approach in the poem, makes it an example of
dramatic monologue. Here, the speaker talks with the seller who isn’t physically present in the
poem. The overall poem is composed of both the iambic meter and the anapestic meter.

Literary Devices

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Porter begins with a metaphor. Here, the poet compares “Life”
to a product that he received from the seller. The seller of the product is no doubt, God. The
third line contains irony. In the following stanza, there is a simile in the first line. Here, he
compares life to a “gift”. By using the phrase, “embarrassing deposit”, the poet metaphorically
refers to the memories that embarrass the poet. There is a tautology in the line, “and I have
used much more than I thought”. There is also alliteration in this line. Apart from that, the poet
uses enjambment throughout the poem. Moreover, in the “maker” of life, the poet uses a
metaphor. Here, he refers to God. The poet also uses sarcasm, epigram, and metonymy in the
poem.

Analysis, Stanza by Stanza

Stanza One

The name of the product I tested is Life,

I have completed the form you sent me

and understand that my answers are confidential.

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Porter talks about the product he has tested. It is “life”. The
manufacturer has sent him a report to fill out and assured him of the confidentiality of his
response. What the poet filled in this “form”, is the next section of the poem. Moreover, the
first section contains two metaphors, life, and form. He compares life to a product and the form
is nothing but poetry itself. Through poetry, a poet presents the testimony of his life.

Stanza Two

Lines 1–9

I had it as a gift,

I didn’t feel much while using it,

(…)

(I suppose I have about half left

but it’s difficult to tell)—

‘A Consumer’s Report’ contains the poet’s long testimonial in this section. According to the
poet, the product for testing was to him a “gift” to cherish. He didn’t feel while using it. Rather,
he was excited about every bit of it. At first, life seemed gentle but after using it for a few years,
it started to deposit embarrassing memories in his mind. Moreover, the product he opted for
wasn’t economical. The more a person uses it the more he becomes addicted to it. That’s why
the poet has used a lot of the product. Still, he thinks he has left half of his “life” unused.

Lines 10–19

although the instructions are fairly large

(…)

Also the price is much too high.

In this section of ‘A Consumer’s Report’, Peter Porter refers to the “instructions” or the art of
life. It’s difficult to tell what’s the best way to live life to one’s fullest. According to the poet,
each way is contradictory. There’s no definite way. Moreover, the experienced poet, says it
shouldn’t be put in a child’s way. By using “children”, the poet refers to their playfulness and
carelessness. It’s a use of synecdoche.

However, the poet finds it hard to find the purpose of life and refers to his friend’s advice. The
person says one should use life to keep the maker employed. Otherwise, God might lose his
significance in this consumerist world. Apart from that, the price or the value of life is too high.
It’s an epigram.

Lines 20–31

Things are piling up so fast,

after all, the world got by

(…)

but not heat resistant, it doesn’t keep

yet it’s very difficult to get rid of:

In this section, by using hyperbole, the poet says, that the world is sustained even if there was
no life millions of years ago. So, there shouldn’t be any obligation to use it. Moreover, the poet
seems to be a bit frustrated with the product of the sad memories that were piling up gradually.
Thereafter, the poet sarcastically warns the man or God to stop calling him “the respondent”.
He isn’t legally obliged to fill out this form about the product. The poet is doing as he wants to
be true to himself.

Moreover, the poet expressed his frustration about the non-uniformity of the container to keep
life. It’s an implied reference to the body. Humorously, the poet says that the body is
“waterproof” but not “heat resistant”. It’s difficult to maintain yet it’s perishable. In this line,
the poet presents a paradox.

Lines 32–41

whenever they make it cheaper they tend

to put less in—if you say you don’t

(…)

to behave badly about. I think

we should take it for granted.

Along with that, in ‘A Consumer’s Report’, Porter says that if the manufacturer wants to make it
cheaper he tends to put less value in it. However, it’s delivered to the person anyway and the
receiver has to be happy with it. Life seems to be a popular product and people support life
over other products. According to the poet, “it’s overdone”. As there are a few people, who opt
for evil means to sustain the product, “life”.

Lines 41–48

… If its

experts are called philosophers or market

(…)

I’d like to leave until I get

the competitive product you said you’d send.

In the last few lines of ‘A Consumer’s Report’, the poet says he doesn’t care about the “experts”
who try to make other lives better. When consumerism reigns, they can’t influence humans.
The poet ironically says, as they are the consumers, they will finally make their laws to make life
better.
At last, the poet says, he would like to buy it if the owner sends him the alternative he
promised of. Being a consumer, the question of “best buy”, is his top priority. If something is
better, he’ll buy it over “life”, the most precious.

Historical Context

‘A Consumer’s Report’ by Peter Neville Frederick Porter is a postmodern text that highlights the
effects of consumerism. Moreover, the poet criticizes capitalism as a whole in this poem. As
consumerism is a creation of capitalism, the poet directs his irony towards both. The reference
to “life” as a product, and art as a “consumer’s report” heightens the satirical effect of the
poem.

understanding the poem.

Peter Porter was an Australian poet who moved to England and became well-known for his
sharp and clever writing. His poetry often looks at life, society, and human nature. 'A
Consumer’s Report' is not his most famous poem, but it is well-known. It is unique because it
compares life to a product, using humor and sarcasm to make readers think about how they
live.

Sure! Here’s an annotation of “A Consumer’s Report” by Peter Porter, broken down line by line,
at an IGCSE English Literature standard. Please note, this poem is a commentary on
consumerism and its impact on individuals and society, using satirical and reflective tones. I'll
annotate the poem with an eye for literary techniques, themes, and structure.

Line-by-line annotation of A Consumer's Report by Peter Porter:

"The average consumer,"

 Annotation: The phrase "average consumer" introduces the central subject of the poem:
the ordinary person within a consumer-driven society. The adjective "average" suggests
conformity, implying that this consumer follows societal norms and expectations without
standing out.
 Literary technique: This could be interpreted as a satirical statement, as "average" may
imply a lack of individuality.
"though never prone to deep distress,"

 Annotation: The consumer is described as emotionally stable or untroubled by deeper

thoughts. This suggests that the consumer in question might be oblivious to the deeper,
more significant issues surrounding consumption, or is uninterested in questioning
societal norms.
 Literary technique: This line reflects the theme of complacency. It may be ironic, as the
poem later suggests that this lack of distress could be a problem, demonstrating a lack of
awareness.

"is prone to half a thousand ills."

 Annotation: This refers to the various trivial or superficial problems consumers face,
perhaps caused by the pressure of constantly needing to buy or consume. "Half a
thousand" (500) exaggerates the extent of these issues, making them sound almost
ridiculous and overwhelming.
 Literary technique: Hyperbole is used here to suggest that the consumer's problems are
many, yet they may not be truly significant or meaningful.

"And they all have a kind of charm,"

 Annotation: Despite these ills, the consumer finds some kind of “charm” or appeal in
them. This could indicate that they enjoy the process of consumption, even if it leads to
problems. The use of "charm" implies that there is a certain allure to consumerism.
 Literary technique: The word "charm" juxtaposes the negative connotations of the
"ills," highlighting the consumer's lack of awareness or indifference to the consequences
of their actions.

"which might induce some sympathy"

 Annotation: The consumer’s plight is presented in a way that could evoke sympathy.
However, the idea that the consumer’s issues are merely "induced" suggests that they are
either exaggerated or artificially constructed by the consumer culture itself.
 Literary technique: The tone here is somewhat mocking, as the idea of being induced to
feel sympathy reflects a kind of manufactured or forced emotion.

"if any one should see them."

 Annotation: The phrase suggests that these "ills" are not seen by many. Perhaps the
consumer is isolated in their experience, or their issues are invisible to others. This
emphasizes the individualistic nature of consumerism, where personal concerns are often
unnoticed by the broader society.
 Literary technique: This line highlights the isolation of the consumer in their
experience.

"The first of these is called 'loss of face,'"

  Annotation: The poem begins to list the consumer's “ills.” "Loss of face" refers to a loss
of reputation or social standing, which in consumer society can often be linked to not
keeping up with trends or failing to consume the right products. It suggests that social
status is tied to appearance and material wealth.
 Literary technique: The technique of listing emphasizes the variety of issues the
consumer faces. This also critiques the importance society places on superficial
appearances.

"a thing of considerable disgrace."

 Annotation: The line reinforces the seriousness of "loss of face" within the consumer
culture. The fact that it is viewed as "disgrace" indicates how much societal value is
placed on outward appearances and social standing.
 Literary technique: The use of "disgrace" conveys a harsh judgment and reveals the
poem's critical tone towards societal values.

"The second is 'an anxious mind,'"

 Annotation: The second “ill” is an “anxious mind,” which might refer to the stress and
anxiety caused by constant worry over consumption—whether one has the latest gadgets,
clothes, etc. It also reflects the uncertainty and insecurity many feel in a consumer-driven
world.
 Literary technique: The phrase “an anxious mind” is straightforward but effective in
communicating the mental strain many consumers experience.

"the kind that is always behind."

 Annotation: This suggests that the anxious mind is perpetually trailing behind, unable to
catch up with trends, technology, or societal expectations. The consumer is constantly
striving, yet never satisfied.
 Literary technique: The rhyme between "mind" and "behind" adds a rhythmic quality
that contrasts with the tension and dissatisfaction implied in the meaning.

"The third is 'inability to choose'"

 Annotation: The third problem, the inability to choose, highlights how consumer culture
can overwhelm people with too many choices, making decision-making harder. This
choice paralysis reflects the confusion and uncertainty that come with an overabundance
of options.
 Literary technique: The simplicity of this line creates a sense of irony. The consumer
has too many options, yet this leads to an inability to make a decision, which is both
frustrating and satirical.

"which product to have or not to lose."

  Annotation: This expands on the previous idea—it's not just about choosing what to buy,
but also about the fear of missing out (FOMO). The consumer feels pressured to acquire
products to avoid losing out on the latest trends or innovations.
 Literary technique: The rhyme between "choose" and "lose" reinforces the internal
conflict, creating a rhythmic tension that mirrors the consumer’s indecision.

"The fourth is 'a restless soul,'"

 Annotation: This introduces the idea of a "restless soul," implying that the consumer is
never content or at peace. The restlessness could be a consequence of constantly striving
for more or consuming more, which never provides lasting fulfillment.
 Literary technique: The phrase “restless soul” gives the poem a spiritual dimension,
suggesting that consumerism can even affect a person’s inner peace or sense of self.

"the constant urge to fill the hole."

 Annotation: This reinforces the idea that the consumer is trying to fill an internal
emptiness with external goods. The "hole" symbolizes a void within the consumer that
material possessions cannot satisfy.
 Literary technique: The rhyme between "soul" and "hole" links the inner and outer
struggles, making the restlessness seem even more profound.

Themes:

1. Consumerism: The poem critiques the shallow nature of consumer culture, where
superficial concerns such as appearance and social status dominate people’s lives.
2. Materialism and Emptiness: The consumer is depicted as restless and anxious,
constantly seeking fulfillment through external possessions, yet never finding true
satisfaction.
3. Ironic Reflection: Porter’s use of irony and exaggeration highlights how trivial and yet
overwhelming these “ills” can seem to the consumer.

Conclusion:

The poem uses satire and irony to criticize a consumer-driven society. Each "ill" faced by the
consumer represents a deeper issue with consumerism, such as anxiety, insecurity, and a lack of
fulfillment. The simple language and clever use of rhyme make the poem both accessible and
thought-provoking, encouraging readers to reflect on their own relationship with consumerism.