LEWD ADVENTURE GIRL

v1.0 - ‘Like a One-Legged Toothless Whore, All the Necessary Bits are There, But It’s Ugly as Sin and There’s No Balance to Speak
Of’ Edition

The world is full of mystery and wonder, with secrets hidden everywhere around the globe. Even
a cute, defenseless girl like yourself can reap the rewards if she’s willing to deal with the risks.
Are you ready to dungeon-crawl and spelunk? Are you ready to be a lewd adventure girl?

You start the game with $600 and a base Adventure Threshold of 11.

LOOKS
I'm not going to nickel and dime you with choices about eye color and hair length - be whatever
kind of little girl you want to be. That said, here are some pictures to spur your imagination.
MOTIVATION
You don't end up in lost ruins and forbidden temples by accident. What's your story?

Science
Archaeologist, botanist, anthropologist - whatever the specifics, you
have a lot of letters after your name and a burning need to discover.
You keep an exhaustive journal of your journeys, and are more
interested in the details of ancient cultures than the shiny baubles
they left behind.
The first time you roll a 5 or lower, you may reroll.

Money
Tomb desecration has fallen out of style as a get-rich-quick scheme,
but it fits your skillset perfectly. When the job is done, you sell
anything that doesn’t strike your fancy to a fence in Cairo, and
proceed to go on a wild, weeklong shopping spree.
You get an additional $20 whenever you sell a treasure.

Conquest
Your queendom's evil ruler is bent on expansion, and appointed you
as one of many explorers to find new territories. All your expenses
are paid for by the royal coffers, but any treasure you find is the
Queen's property. If you fail to bring Her back anything... well, let's
just say She has a sadistic streak and a well-stocked dungeon.
You start with an extra $400 points.
If you would get a treasure, instead you get half that relic's value,
rounded down.
 Thrill
It’s fun! What more reason do you need?
Your Adventure Threshold is temporarily decreased by 1
whenever you explore a dungeon for the first time.

Fame
Your daring exploits always end up on the front page of the Sunday
edition, and your smile is the most dazzling part of every newsreel.
Everywhere you go, people ask for pictures and autographs.
Partners reduce your Adventure Threshold by 2 instead of by 1.

Lust
W-what??? You don’t want to make it out alive? You’re saying that
every time you go out in public, you fantasize about being
kidnapped and raped by every tall man who makes eye contact
with you? That’s disgusting! What kind of girl are you, anyway?
You can change any roll to a 1. Perv.
TOOLS
It's dangerous to go alone - take these! Each tool costs $50, but allows you to re-roll once.

Whip Map

Backpack AK-47
PARTNERS
No adventurer worth her salt works alone. Each friend you bring along costs $100, but reduces
your Adventure Threshold by 1.

Pilot
No maneuver is too daring, no speed too fast. This ace
earned a name for herself in the war, but got bored
after returning home. Flying a cute girl to dangerous
and exotic locales seems like a perfect way for her to
sate her addiction for adrenaline. She may get you
involved in unnecessary dogfights, though.

Doctor
He’s a shy boy who spends too much time on
Japanese image boards, but he’s always nice to you,
and never hesitates to patch you up after a scrap
(although he does turn beet red whenever he works on
your chest). Despite his extensive medical training,
he’s a bit of a ditz, so expect to end up saving him
from danger over and over again.

Noble Savage
Against all odds, you manage to barely beat her in a
wrestling match with a few well-placed grabs.
According to the laws of the jungle, she answers to
you now. Not just a good fighter, she is also an
accomplished hunter and skilled at orienteering,
making her a perfect companion in the wilds. Be
careful about bringing her back to civilization - she
doesn’t understand urban customs like “wearing pants”
or “not grabbing every cute boy you see by the dick”.
Magical Girl
When she discovered a mysterious meteorite, a
fantastic creature from the spirit realm granted her
special powers. Now she’s on a quest to break all six
seals (which coincidentally line up with the six
dungeons you want to explore) and bring that creature
home to our world. What is the creature’s name? Gah,
it’s, like, right on the tip of her tongue. Cth-something.
Ctheresa? Cthomas the Tank Engine? Anyways, she’ll
blast your enemies with an insidious, necrotic beam
of… we, she says it’s love.

Ninja
Pros: Good escape artist, better thief, can pick any
lock, calls you “ma’am”, and always stares at her
shoes when you talk to her.
Cons: Thinks the Naruto run actually makes her faster.

Pet Monkey
I feel like pet monkeys are fairly self-explanatory.
NEMESES
Each enemy you have increases your Adventure Threshold by 1, but gives you $80.

Sporting Rival
She must not have gotten enough hugs as a kid,
because her entire sense of self-worth hinges on
besting you. Nabbing to a treasure slightly before you
do keeps her ego buoyed for a couple months - then
she feels the need to “fight” you again. Between
encounters, you tend to receive “anonymous” letters
taunting you to do better next time.

Big Game Hunter

He is why the dodo went extinct. For some reason,
your paths tend to cross, and your goals keep getting
in the way of his dream of killing two of every animal.
You feel skeezed out talking to him, not the least
because he seems to suffer from a neck injury that
keeps him from looking you in the eyes. And you swear
to God, if he makes that joke about how he wants to
hunt, ‘mount’, and ‘stuff’ the most dangerous game -
“IT’S WOMEN, GET IT?” - one more time...

Obsessive Collector
“Because we’re living in a material world, and I am a
material girl!” This lady desires sole ownership of
anything golden or gem-encrusted, and will spare no
expense to get her hands on treasure. If you have
something she wants... maybe she has something you
want, if you get her drift?
DUNGEONS
What's the point of being geared up for an adventure if you don't go on one?

Three Ways to Play

The Gamebook Way: Each adventure costs the amount listed in black. Whenever you go on
adventure, roll a d20. Roll your Adventure Threshold or higher, you complete the dungeon and
claim a fantastic treasure. Roll below it, and you come home empty handed. Roll a 1... you don't
come home at all. Complete all six dungeons to win the game.
The CYOA Way: Each adventure costs the amount listed in green. You always get the treasure,
though.
The I Just Came Here to Masturbate Way: Look at all the adventures, pick whichever ones
you like, and make whatever kind of story you want. It’s not like the CYOA Nazis are going to
arrest you for ignoring instructions on a Malaysian color-by-numbers forum.
 Amazon Encampment (-$30) (-$150)
By a rarely-traversed bend in the Amazon River lies a small
village patronized by Athena. Every member of the tribe is a
seven-foot tall warrior with bronze-carved bodies that would
turn /fit/ straight. Amazonians are notorious slavers, selling war
captives and trespassers to the highest bidder. Anyone who
can't fetch a price at market is worked to death in the
Amazonians' vast network of diamond mines.

Treasure: You sneak into the chieftain’s tent and make off with the tribe’s greatest relic. The
Sword of “Swords”, when wielded, grants you a penis and all the related equipment. (So that’s
how they managed to do it.) It can also be sold for $100.

Bad End: The Amazonians take a shining

to you and decide not to use you for hard
labor. Instead, you're fitted with a leather
collar. It's not as cumbersome as the metal
used on the other slaves, but it digs into
your skin, reminding you every waking
moment that you are nothing more than
owned property now. Your main duty is
oiling down the Amazonians’ muscles in
preparation for combat, although sometimes
they stop you, single-handedly lifting you up
and shoving your face between their thighs.
And when you aren’t being worked like a
dog, you’re being treated like one. You’re
forced to stay on all fours at all times, and
frequently find yourself straining your neck
to look upwards and meet the Amazonians’
amused smirks. Enjoy spending the rest of
your life as a bitch.
 Verdant Catacombs (-$30) (-$150)
The tomb of a forgotten civilization's most ruthless king, now
overrun with plant life, is hidden in a valley roughly fifty miles south
of Stuttgart. Local legends say the king's hatred has seeped into the
earth itself.

Treasure: Most of the treasure in the outer portions of tomb was looted long ago, but you
manage to make your way to the inner chamber. There rests the king’s body, clutching a staff
that is obviously compensating for something. The Rod of Burning Need allows you to be as
pervy as you’d like in public without legal or social repercussions. The golden ball on top of the
rod can be twisted counterclockwise, causing it to emit an ultrasonic sound, like a dog whistle,
until it is twisted back to its original position. Anyone affected by the sound will consider groping
and sexually harassing you to be as normal as scratching an itch. It can also be sold for $100.

Bad End: While running from one of the tomb's

animate plants, you snag your foot on an
upturned root and crash on the hewn-stone
floor. The writhing mass of leaves and flowers
quickly surrounds you. Thorned stems wrap
around your wrists and ankles, suddenly
blossoming with dark crimson roses. Their
aroma is overbearingly sweet - not even the
vines snaking their way around your hips can
draw your attention away from the smell. As
your conscious mind fogs up in a blissful
perfumed haze, it whimpers one final thought:
Wouldn't it be nice to stay here... forever...
 Temple of Doom (-$50) (-$200)
Worshippers of ancient Mayincantec gods have moved into an
abandoned stepped pyramid, using it as a space to perform their
twisted rituals. The temple’s walls are lined with golden statues
carved with the gods’ visages.

Treasure: At the bottommost floor of temple, you face off against the cult’s leader, trading fists
and clashing swords. Finally, you push him into the ceremonial fire - but not before stealing his
neat hat. The Circlet of Command bestows its wearer with an aura of strength and authority.
Once per day, you can focus its powers on one person. That person will feel an overwhelming
need to submit to you for the next two hours, afraid of (and a little turned on by) the
consequences of disobeying a direct order. The Circlet of Command can also be sold for $150.

Bad End: The cultists find a small birthmark on your

chest as they prepare you for ritual sacrifice. It’s a
perfect match for the symbol of the fertility goddess
Amoxtili. Taking this as a sign from the heavens, the
cult anoints you as a mecatl - their word for
‘priestess’. And, as it turns out, also their word for
‘breeding stock’. Life in the temple is a gilded cage.
Adorned in the finest silks and fed the most
succulent fruits, you spend days at a time on your
back, claimed by the cult’s warriors.

In time, your offspring prove to be the strongest men

and the most fertile women, and are revered as a
class of demigod. Whispers echo through the
temple that the high priest, not keen to lose this gift
from the gods, is working on a curse of immortality.
It seems your service to the cult will not end until the
Day of Reckoning. And, if the fancy stone calendars
are right, that’s still several millennia away...
 Atlantis (-$50) (-$200)
Sunken deep beneath the waves are the remains of a lost and
powerful civilization. What technology let them live underwater?
What treasures did they find on the sea floor? And did they ever
figure out the mermaid problem?

Treasure: In a submerged house with way too many baby cribs, you find the Nectar of Fertility.
Anybody who eats a spoonful of nectar - knowingly or not - enters permanent ovulation and also
become horny to the point of distraction until impregnated. Any contact with cum will cause that
woman to become pregnant, and all attempts to use birth control fail. Eating the whole jar’s
worth of nectar will cause these effects to be permanent, and make it impossible for that person
to think about anything except sex. The Nectar can also be sold for $150.

Bad End: On your way back to the

submarine, you spot a particularly flashy
necklace half-buried under a pile of rubble in
an underwater grotto. You pull it out, but
suddenly the pile of rocks collapses on top of
your arm, pinning you down. Fortunately, your
head is barely above water, so you don’t
drown. Unfortunately, you feel slimy tentacles
probing their way up your legs, as their owner
decides whether this savory morsel is a
fucktoy or food...
 Sacred Shrine (-$70) (-$250)
The angels of the land worship in a monastery above the clouds, where
holy relics are kept and impurity is forbidden.

Treasure: The angels would never hold some weird sex toy in their
home! How dare you imply that! In fact, the Cibus Tergo is for
wholesomeness! Anyone who drinks from the chalice will have their mind cleared, giving you
the opportunity to completely rewrite their personality and history to make them a more saintly
person. That’s how you’re going to use it, right? It can also be sold for $200.

Bad End: You kneel handcuffed before the tribunal of high angels as they deliberate how best
to punish you for defiling holy ground. Finally, a warrior angel approaches floats down to you,
and raises her sword to swing. The sword showers you with golden sparks, and in a flash both
your manacles and your clothes disappear. All of the sudden, every inch of your being is acutely
aware of the coldness on your skin, of how the muscles of your thighs push against your heels.
And it feels good. Eager to exploit the fact that your entire body is now an erogenous zone, you
greedily grab between your legs - only to pull your arm back from excruciating pain. Looking
down, you see a small cage of light surrounds your throbbing, needy clit and whine. You’ve
never gotten off on penetration alone. Fuck.

The ground dissolves beneath you with no warning, and

you fall screaming into a pit of darkness. When your
vision adjusts, you find yourself on your back in a cave
filled with black flames. Before you can fully process the
scene, a trio of succubi surrounds you, their supple
bodies bouncing with each step.

“It’s been a long time since they threw us a new toy,” one
coos while appraising your unblemished ass for the best
places to whip.

“And they’re usually not so… juicy,” chimes in the

second, breathily. They turn to the tallest and most cruel-
looking succubus, expectant. After a minute of silent
scheming, she makes her decision.

“This one looks like it’ll last a while. Be as rough as you want.”

All in all, even considering the man-handlings, the spankings, the clawings, the chokings, the
years spent in elaborate bondage rigs, the behemoth dildos shoved opportunistically into any
open orifice, and the desperate, irrepressible, gnawing, sanity-shattering need to cum
underpinning it all, it’s a pretty nice way to spend the rest of your days atoning for your sins.
 Progenitor Ruins (-$70) (-$250)
In a secluded Tibetan mountain range, a bizarre structure towers
over the nearby peaks, pulsing with unknown energies. No human
could possibly have the capacity to imagine such a wonder, much
less build it. Well, maybe Elon Musk.

Treasure: The aliens abandoned Earth long ago, taking most of their good stuff with them, but
you dig up an impressive device that was left behind. The Biotic Denaturer completely rewrites a
person’s DNA and rebuilds them from the atomic level. Swap that guy’s gender, make that girl a
mocha-dark elf, or give yourself that cute tail you’ve always wanted - the possibilities are nearly
endless. There’s a catch, though. Alien technology runs on an elusive but potent power source -
writefaggotry. The Biotic Denaturer gets one use’s worth of charge for every 20 words you write
about your adventures, or ten charges if you post OC that is better than this. (Which, let’s be
honest, is pretty fucking easy.) It can also be sold for $200.

Bad End: You set off a pressure plate in the main corridor, and all at once you are immobilized
in a snare of blue spotlights. The rays slowly increase in intensity, until your vision is pure blue,
then pure white, then pure black. You wake up immersed in a tank of green liquid, surrounded
by several young girls. Actually, you take that back. Young girls don’t have cocks that would
make a horse envious.

“Finally, one fell into our trap. My colleagues:

We’ve captured a cow. Our search for ‘cheese’ is
nearing its end.”

“It doesn’t look like the ones in the holotapes.”

“Of course it’s a cow. Four legs, two eyes, udders.

Cow. Morp dammit, Eriygr, if appearances mean
so much to you, we’ll just reformat the brain and
do cosmetic surgery. Now, as to the milking.
According to the holos, if we inject it with the
catalyst, lactation can be induced through…
sexual excitation? Ugh, disgusting. Sdgvhb, do
mind taking one for the team? We’re going to
need at least eight hundred gallons to make
enough for everyone, so it may take a while.”

One of the aliens stares at you, licking its lips. “It

would be my pleasure.” As it walks towards the
now-emptying tank, its cock hardening against its leg, you find yourself protesting the wetness
building up between your thighs. Your body, it seems, has decided to surrender. Why make a
lifetime of milking any harder than it has to be?
Oh, one last rule...
And what happens if you end up bankrupt, you ask? Huh, good question. You don’t really have
much in the way of assets to sell… well, bankers are resourceful, I guess. They’ll find a way to
recoup their debt, even from a worthless, absent-minded failure of a slut like yourself.