By Dr.

Nahla Nassar

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 Etiquette = Manners + Principles

Etiquette is about building relationships plain and simple. It gives you the clues of how
to act and what should you do in any given situation.

There are three things that a relationship:

Actions

Appearance words

Etiquette is the power that fuels our relationships, by helping know how to act and how to expect
others to act in any kind of situation. Etiquette accomplishes this through a combination of
manners and principles.

Manners aren’t rules, they are guide lines, which help us determine the right thing to do. But
there are exceptions and so we use our judgment to decide what to do in a suitable way.

There are three principles you should go by:

Consideration means looking at the current situation and assessing how it affects everyone who
is involved.

Respect means looking at how your possible actions will affect others in the future.

Honesty means acting sincerely and being truthful, not deceitful.

You and your coworker:

You and your coworker are in the same pool, and whether you sink or swim has a great
deal to do with your ability to treat your workmates- even the difficult ones- with
courtesy and respect. It is better to have allies rather than enemies. Don’t focus on your
coworker short coming work but try to appreciate the contribution they make to achieve
work. Recognize that you are all part of a large company.

Grasping company culture:

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The company’s culture refers to the common characteristics that set one workplace from
another. Your success depends on how quickly you grasp your company’s culture.

Face to face conversation:

Positive interaction means respecting their personal space, understanding rank and set
margins to small talk to humor to business to disagreements. Give though of how to
handle each.

When talking with others:

 Set a reasonable distance

 Make solid eye contact
 Be conscious of height differences
 Be considerate of person with disabilities
 If dealing with international coworker, try to observe their conversational customs
 Be clear with words

Respecting Rank:

In business rank is power; always maintain a respectful conversational distance.

No back slapping, nudging hugging, elbowing, or other touching actions of intimacy.

Requesting and offering help:

The best way to get help is to give it. Offer help when you can and if accepted. And if
you receive help, a thank you is always necessary (no matter how small the favor is)

Help for the newcomer:

Try to recollect how you felt when you were first employed and what information you
needed. But remember that help doesn’t include office gossip, don’t interfere with
judgment about others.

Giving and accepting complements:

You and everyone you work with need occasional pats on the back, feel what others are
feeling; pay compliments when and where they are due like “good job” , “well done” two
simple words can solve all compliment dilemmas “thank you”.

Take responsibility:
Everyone makes mistakes, what matters are how you handle the situation once the
mistake has been made.

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First, take the responsibility for the mistake and apologize for it, second, work out a
solution to resolve the problem before it expands. But being stubborn about it “that
wasn’t my fault” will always infuriate everybody.

Handle professional differences of opinion:

There are always differences between people, if it doesn’t matter all that much if the soda
machine has coke or Pepsi, let it go. But if there is a conflict during a brainstorming
session, for example or a meeting, try to state your case calmly and clearly, try to
understand the other opinion, think about it and consider the circumstances, don’t make it
personal and stick to the subject.

If conflict gets personal, get control on yourself and discuss the situation one-on-one
in private

Other tips when dealing with coworkers:

Your ethical behavior towards your coworkers involves more than just being honest with
them. Good ethics means treating your colleagues fairly without discrimination, and
giving them whatever support and information they need to do their job effectively.

 Abusive behavior:

You may disagree with the way a colleague is doing his job, or even dislike him for some
reason, but that is never an excuse to treat a coworker.

If for any reason you are so upset that you can’t conduct a job-related discussion calmly
and professionally, put off the discussion for another day or sit down with the other
person and your manager to reach a constructive solution.

 Discrimination:
Do not ever treat a coworker differently because of his or her race, religion, gender, age
or culture. It is non ethical as it is being illegal.

If you ever be aware of discrimination taking place in your department officially contact
the human resources department to be take charge.

 Withholding information :

Holding back information that a fellow employee normally should have access to, either
to hurt that employee’s performance or to enhance your own, it is considered ethically
wrong.

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If you believe someone is withholding information from you that should rightfully be
yours, ask them directly about it, if they are not responsive, then you can follow up with
your immediate supervisor.

 Respecting Privacy:

You also have a responsibility towards your coworker’s personal correspondence, e-

mails, faxes and phone calls, in other words as you sift through faxes, look only at the
cover sheets. Similarly, if someone has left an original sheet in the copying machine,
glance at the sheet just long enough to ascertain whom it belongs to. Then return the
sheet to the person, letting him know you didn’t read it.

 Keep confidence:

If a coworker tells you something in confidence, whether it’s work related or personal,
you are ethically obligated to keep the conversation private (Unless that information
involves something clearly harmful)

 Giving credit:

In the business world, coming up with innovative new ideas and strategies is essential to
job performance and advancement. Taking credit for someone else’s idea either
passively or actively is not proper. If you bring up a new idea that originated with
someone else, or you used the idea somehow; quickly credit the person who first came up
with the idea, don’t take all the credit for yourself.

 Accepting Blame:
If there is a serious mistake that has been made, always stand up and openly accept
responsibility. Also it is your right to demand clarifying, if you are blamed unfairly for
something you did not do.

 Back-stabbing and undermining:

If you are asked about a colleague for any reason, don’t give a negative comment in the
right ear unless they aren’t pulling their right weight. But an ethical employee will avoid
back stabbing to other colleagues. If it is your job to outline the positive and negative
aspects of your colleague’s performance, only focus on work retailed matters, avoid any
personal criticism.

You and your Company:

As you join the firm, you entered an agreement, you have to fulfill the contractual
obligations of your job, while they fulfill their financial agreement and treat your fairly.

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  Your things or theirs:

Office supplies belong to the office; they always have a way of becoming
interchangeable between office and home. Avoid taking work supplies out of the
workplace except if you are working at home on work related projects.

 An Honest day’s work:

Try to avoid missing time from work, if you are forced to miss work time to keep a
doctor’s or dentist’s appointment, do schedule it at the beginning or end of the day to
minimize the time you are taking off. And always try to offer to make up for it.

 Sick days:

Don’t use your sick days for shopping or going out with friends, always try to keep them
strictly for illness or resting at home for improving your productivity.

 Respecting proprietary information;

Many companies reveal important information to some of their employees, you have an
ethical responsibility to keep this information confidential. Also you should respect
conflict of interest which means if you have any particular close personal relationship
with someone; don’t slip yourself into favoritism, always try to be faire.

You and your supervisor:

What to do with your bass,

 Understand that your bass is a human being

 Accept the reality that your supervisor is in charge
 Do your job and do it right.

Getting along with your boss:

 Speak up when you have an idea

 Be prepared: do your work before speaking
 Don’t waste your boss’s time, be concise and clear this will show you
are organized
 Show initiative; solve a problem if you can
 Ask for help when you need it, don’t take risks
 Be a team player, many bosses believe that a group steady worker is ultimately
more productive than the one man show.
 Show acceptance, accept your boss’s final decision graciously even when they are
contrary to your thinking. Never try to undermine your supervisor’s position.

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Buffet etiquette:

Don’t view the buffet table as your last supper, place on your plate
the portion size that you would be presented if you were being
served.

Return for seconds only if you have been invited by your host or
hostess to do so.

Banquet etiquette:

Make a point of talking with a few people at your table not just the
people on either side.

Try to include others in the conservation.

Business lunch:

Your table manners say a lot about you and the way you conduct
business.

Don’t be late: it’s appropriate that you arrive on time, you can
quickly focus on building a great relationship; while arriving late you
will try to recover rather than building up.

Dress appropriately: show respect for your host or guests by looking

good.

When you arrive at the restaurant

Wait, if your host hasn’t arrived, wait in the lobby unless otherwise
requested. If you are the host wait for your guests in the lobby. If
some of your guests have arrived, you should wait in the lobby with
everyone only until the time you made your reservation for. Then
proceed to the table and let the waiter escort the late guests in when
they arrive.

Seating:

The guest of honor should sit in the best seat at the table; usually that
is one with the back of the chair to the wall. This means that the
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guest of honor won’t be sitting in a traffic area with waiters passing
behind. Once the guest of honor’s seat is determined, the host should
sit to the left.

If you are the first to be seated wait until everyone has arrived before
ordering a beverage (drink)

What to do with the napkin:

The first thing is to put the napkin on your lap.

Once you are settled in your seats, you can expect a waiter to come to
the table to take orders; the waiter may bring menus if not a set
menu ordered before.

What should I order?

As you look at the menu, keep in mind:

1. Order medium priced dishes, not the most expensive ones

2. Know the food you are ordering, this is not the time to be
adventuresome and order something you’ve never had before
3. Order food that is relatively easy to eat.

What is the host obligation when ordering?

The host should already have eaten at the restaurant previously. A

smart host never takes guests to a place he hasn’t already visited
before.

By checking the restaurant ahead, you make sure it is suitable for

conversation; the food is good and tasty.

Some general table manners:

Pass the salt and pepper together, even if asked for one; pass them
together

Don’t start eating until everyone is served and the host has started to
eat.

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Between courses it is accepted to put your elbow s on the table

When you are still eating put the utensils down on the edge of the
plate, don’t place on the tablecloth.

When you finish eating, place the utensils side by side diagonally
across the plate, roughly in the four O’clock position.

(Protocol for serving and removing, serve from the left and take
from the right)

If the fork falls on the floor, don’t pick it up, leave it there and ask
for another one.

You can either call the waiter by looking at him or say quietly
“waiter” but if he is across the room gently raise your hand to
shoulder level and motion slightly to him.

Blowing your nose should take place away from the table perfectly in
the restroom, both sneezing and blowing your nose should be
followed by a quick visit to the restroom to wash your hands and
clean up.

If you are to leave the table, Place the napkin to the left side of your
place setting

If you want to get rid of something in your mouth, raise the utensil
you are using to your lips and gently push the offending article onto
the utensil, then deposit it on the edge of your plate.

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How the smart managers can creates a positive climate?
The way a manager manages directly affects the atmosphere of the workplace.
Manage in a positive manner, and the atmosphere is positive. Manage with fear and
threats, and the atmosphere quickly becomes pressure charged and negative.

Inspiring and motivating:

 Don’t leave it to the H.R. department to inspire employees to do their best

 Make yourself available to answer questions and concerns
 Give frequent feedback about job performance
 Focus on new employees (two common mistakes are: (1) assuming that
employees know exactly what their jobs are, (2) failing to provide adequate
training. Invest time in training will pay off to avoid few hassles later

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  Recognize and compliment if the job is truly well done, mention one or two
specific things makes it more convincing. Say it soon don’t delay, if there is
little criticism save it for later time.
 The power of “please” and “thank you”

Ethics while working:

Managing a meeting:

Managing a meeting successfully is an art not a science, a science is a set of rules for
doing things, while art is the ability to adapt creativity and appropriately to each new
situation.
How?
Making the meeting productive answer questions of purpose

Why do you want to have a meeting?

What outcome you want to see out of it?

What do you want to accomplish?

Do you want to inform your participants with some issues and get their feed back?

Do you want to brain storm ideas?

Do you want to assign tasks?

Is there more than one issue to consider?

Is decision making involved?

Who should attend the meeting?

The size of the meeting depends entirely on its purpose. When the meeting objectives are
clear, the participants almost choose themselves; you invite the people who can help
achieve your goals.

As the meeting leader, keep a private agenda that lists the items that absolutely must be
acted on. As the meeting progresses, make sure you steer the proceedings so as to
accomplish your must-do before a key player has to excuse herself from the meeting.

There are four essential actions in a meeting:

 Start on time: a late start sets an unfortunate tone, signaling to participants that
you are not in control and that you’re not altogether respectful of their schedule

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 Keep things on track: be polite but firm, you want to keep the proceedings
focused on your agenda points. Ex:”that’s an interesting point sara, I would like
to discuss it after the meeting but right now I want to stick to the problem of
…….”
 Encourage full participation: be alert to who is speaking and who isn’t. If you
know that they are grasping all the points wait but if they need to be drawn in to
the discussion simply do.
 End on time: try to stick to the time and accomplishing the goals.

Wrapping up:

 Present a basic action plan, including deadlines for assigned tasks and a future
meeting date or dates, summing up the meeting,
 Address any final questions (but don’t open any new discussions)
 Thank special guests and participants.

Following up

It is always smart to follow up your meeting within a day or two with a memo or
letter to all participants. Your memo should elaborate on the details of your summary
assignments and schedules and include confirmation of any formal decisions or votes.

Your conversation:

 Every time you speak, the listener is subconsciously registering the quality of
your voice, your grammar and choice of words.
 Volume: a mid range volume between loudness and softness is most desirable
 Tone: don’t speak in a monotone, one rhythm.

Rate: fast talkers are hard to be understood, while slow talkers make the listener
impatient.

Enunciation; don’t swallow syllables,

Accent; so long as your grammar is correct, never be embarrassed of your

foreign accent.

Always keep a big smile!

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 1. Be Proactive: Take responsibility for your life.
2. Begin with the end in Mind: Define your mission and goals in life.
3. Put First things first: Prioritize, and do the most important things
first.
4. Think win-win: Have the attitude of (everyone can win).
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood: Listen to people
sincerely
6. Synergize: work together to achieve more.
7. Sharpen the saw: Renew yourself regularly

To understand the 7 habits, look at the opposite meaning;

1-React:

Blame all of your problems on your parents, your professors, your

neighborhood, the government …. You want to be a victim, take no
responsibility for your life.

2-Begin with No end in Mind:

Don’t have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about
tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live
for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for there is no
tomorrow.

3-Put first things last:

Whatever is important in your life don’t do it, watch it till it reruns.

Make sure that things that don’t matter always come before things that
do.

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4-Think win-lose:

See life as a vicious competition. People who are working with you
are out to get you, so you’d better get them first. Don’t let anyone
else succeed at anything because (if they win you lose)

5-Seek first to talk, then pretend to listen:

Always express your side of the story first. Make sure you talk a lot.
Don’t give others the chance to talk and express themselves. You
might pretend to listen by nodding and saying “UH- HUH, UM”.

6- Don’t Cooperate:

Let’s face it, there is no one like you, you are different! So why try to
get along with them? Team work “AUG” No! You always have the
best ideas so why work with others?

7- Wear yourself out:

Be so busy with life that you never take to renew your life or take
time to improve yourself. Don’t learn anything new, you know
everything so why bather. Stay away from books, nature or anything
else that might inspire you.

What exactly are Habits?

Habits are things we do repeatedly. But most of the time we are

hardly aware that we have them.

The 7 habits can help you:

Get control of your life

Improve your relationships with your friends
Make smarter decisions

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Get more done in less time
Increase your self confidence
Be happy

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