NOV.

4 LECTURE: THE SELF IN A SOCIAL WORLD

Preliminaries/Introduction:
 For example, you wake up with a huge breakout on your chin. How would you feel
about it? Do you feel self-conscious? Do you feel all eyes on you? What would you do?
(Let students interact/answer)
o Let’s say all morning you feel so self-conscious about it, even with your great
efforts to concealing it. To your surprise, nobody says anything about it. Are
people secretly laughing about how you look? Or are they too preoccupied to
even notice?
At the center of our worlds, there is nothing more important than OURSELVES.

Today, we talk about important concepts in social psychology that teach us about ourselves.
 Spotlights and illusions
 Self-concept
 Self-esteem
 Self-serving bias
 Self-presentation

DISCUSSION PROPER: To begin with our discussion, let’s go back at the very first scenario we
were talking about earlier. Why do we feel that others are paying more attention to us than
they really are?
THE SPOTLIGHT EFFECT
 Seeing ourselves at center stage
 We believe that others are paying more attention to our appearance and behavior than
they really are
 We overestimate the extent to which others’ attention is aimed at us
Timothy Lawson (2010) explored the spotlight effect…
 College students change into an American Eagle sweatshirt before meeting peers
 Nearly 40% were sure the others would remember but actually, only 10% did
  Most observers didn’t even really notice that students changed after leaving the room
for a few minutes

What’s true of our appearance (clothes, hair) is also true of our emotions; our anxiety,
irritation, disgust, attraction! Fewer people notice than we presume. Since we are so aware of
our own emotions, we often suffer an..
ILLUSTION OF TRANSPARENCY
 The illusion that our concealed emotions leak out and can be easily read by others
o If we’re happy, we know it, show it. And we presume others will notice it

The spotlight effect and illusion of transparency are just examples of the relationship
between our sense of self and our social worlds. Here are more examples:
1. Social surroundings affect our self-awareness – when we are the only member of our
race, gender, nationality in a group, we notice how we differ and how others are
reacting to our difference
a. Ex. Friend recently moved to spain and just a few weeks in he noticed he was so
different from his foreign friends.
2. Self-interest colors our social judgment – problems come up in relationships, we
attribute or place responsibility on our partners; but when things go well in a situation,
we see responsibility to ourselves
3. Self-concern motivates our social behavior – we hope to make a positive impression to
others and so we are so concerned about our appearance; we monitor the behavior of
others and adjust our behavior accordingly
4. Social relationships help define our sense of self – in our many different relationships
with people, we also have different or varying selves. We’re one person to our moms,
another with our friends, with teachers. How we think of ourselves is linked to the
person we’re with at the moment. We’re all just like mirrorballs!
a. When relationships change, our self-concepts can change too!
 i. Slotter et all (2010), college students who just broke up with their
partners had a shift in their self-perceptions and felt uncertain about who
they were. This is why breakups can be emotionally distressing.

 Our ideas, feelings about ourselves affect how we respond to others. Others also help
shape our sense of self.
 The self is heavily researched more than anything, in psychology!
 Our sense of self organizes our thoughts, feelings, actions. It enables us to remember
our past, assess our present, and project our future. Most of all, to behave adaptively.

SELF-CONCEPT
Let students answer: “I am ____________”.
Your answers provide a glimpse of your self-concept – what we know and believe about
ourselves

We also have elements of our self-concept..

SELF-SCHEMAS
 These are beliefs by which you define yourself
 aka “mental tempates”
 our perceiving ourselves as athletic, smart—affect how we perceive, remember,
evaluate others and ourselves
o Example: if being athletic is at the core of your self-concept or one of your
schemas, you will tend to notice others’ bodies, skills, you recall and have
knowledge about sports-related experiences; you welcome information that is
consistent with your self-schema

Our self-concepts not only include our self-schemas about who we are at present, but also who
we might become…
POSSIBLE SELVES
  Our visions of the self we dream of becoming
 the rich self, the thin self, passionately loved, loving self
 ALSO include the self we fear becoming (someone we don’t wanna turn out to be!) –
underemployed self, academically failed self
 Motivate us with a vision of the kind of life we long for or to avoid the life we don’t want
______________________________________________________________________________
DEVELOPMENT OF THE SOCIAL SELF (what determines our self-concepts? Social experience
plays a major part!) Among these influences include:
1. THE ROLES WE PLAY
a. We take on many roles – college student/employee/parent/mentor, at first we
feel self-conscious about it but later on, it is absorbed into our sense of self.
b. We eventually adapt it into our sense of selves. We eventually become the roles
we play.
2. SOCIAL COMPARISONS
a. How do we decide if we’re smart, rich, or pretty? Social comparison does that!
b. We evaluate our abilities, opinions by comparing ourselves with others
c. Others around us help to define the standard by which we define ourselves as
rich/poor/tall/short; we compare ourselves with them and consider how we
differ
d. Much of our life revolves around social comparisons but it can also diminish our
satisfaction
i. When we experience an increase in status/achievement, we only compare
upward – we raise standards by which we evaluate our attainments; we
compare ourselves with others doing even better
3. OTHER PEOPLE’S JUDGMENTS
When people think well of us, we also think well of ourselves. Children others labeled as
gifted, hardworking tend to incorporate those ideas into their self-concepts and
behavior. (like Rory Gilmore!)
The Looking-glass self coined by Charles H. Cooley (1902)
  We base our sense of self on how we believe others view us
 Using social interaction as a type of “mirror,” we use the
judgments we receive from others to measure our own worth,
values, and behavior.
 What matters for our self-concept is not how others actually see us but
the way we imagine they see us
______________________________________________________________________________
SELF AND CULTURE
How did you answer the I am statement? Did you give answers about your personal traits? Or
did you describe your social identity? Your answers give us a glimpse of how the self and
culture are related.
1. INDIVIDUALISM (western cultures)
a. The concept of giving priority to own goals over group goals and defining one’s
identity in terms of personal attributes than group identifications
b. Identity is self-contained
c. Assumes life will be enriched by believing in your power of personal control
d. Defining independent self; celebrates the self-reliant individual
e. Adolescence is a time of separating from parents, becoming self-reliant
f. individualistic societies seek to enhance individual self and make choices
independently
g. self-esteem is more personal and less relational
h. breed more conflict (crime, divorce) between individuals

2. COLLECTIVISM (cultures native to asia, Africa, central, south America)

a. Giving priority to the goals of one’s group (family, work group) and defining
one’s identity accordingly
b. Respecting one’s groups, identifying oneself accordingly
c. Nurture interdependent self (say “I” less often)
d. goal of social life is to harmonize with and support one’s communities while
 e. Self-esteem in collectivist is based on “what others think of me and my group”
f. Conflict in collectivist cultures take place between groups

 Individualism-collectivism also varies across a country’s regions and political views

 Cultures can also change over tie and many seem to be growing more individualistic;
changes demonstrate that there is an interaction between individuals and society

SELF-ESTEEM (what is the nature and motivating power of self-esteem? Understand self-
esteem and its implication on behavior)
 Our overall self-evaluation (sense of self-worth)
 The sum of all our self-schemas and possible selves
 If we see ourselves as attractive/athletic/smart/destined to be rich, will we have self-
esteem? YES. When we feel good about our domains (looks, smarts etc) important to
our self-esteem
If you want to encourage someone (or yourself)
o Better if praise is specific (you’re good at math!) instead of general (you’re great!)
o Kind words reflect true ability and performance (you really improved on your last test)
rather than unrealistic optimism (you can do anything)
o Feedback is best when it is true and specific

SELF-ESTEEM MOTIVATION (most people are extremely motivated to maintain their self-
esteem)
We usually have self-esteem threats:
o Failure, unflattering comparison with someone else
o Success of friends that are threatening
High self-esteem people Low self-esteem people
 Usually react to threats by  More likely to “break” by blaming
compensating – blaming someone themselves or giving up
else or trying harder next time
  These reactions help preserve positive
feelings about themselves
What underlies our motive to maintain or enhance our self-esteem?
 Alerts us to threatened social rejection
 Social rejection lowers our self-esteem and makes us more eager for approval
o when we feel unattractive or inadequate it can motivate –
self-improvement/search for acceptance and inclusion elsewhere

THE DARK SIDE OF SELF-ESTEEM

 It’s actually good to have high self-esteem – it fosters initiative, resilience, pleasant
feelings BUT it becomes especially problematic if it crosses over into narcissism
(inflated sense of self)
 Most people with high self-esteem value achievement and relationships with others,
narcissists have high self-esteem but they don’t care about others
 Often charming, outgoing early on, their self-centeredness often leads to relationship
problems
 Also possible to have too much narcissistic pride in your group COLLECTIVE NARCISSISM
– believing one’s group is superior to others

Narcissism on the rise

Jean Twenge reports today’s young generation express more narcissism – Generation
Me
 Narcissism scores rose over time on college campuses
 Narcissism correlates with materialism
o Desire to be famous
o Inflated expectations
o Fewer committed relationships
 Also linked to lack of empathy
  Today’s generation may be so wrapped up in online interaction that there is a decline in
in-person interaction skills; lack empathy due to feeling too busy wanting to succeed,
world is now competitive

LOW SELF-ESTEEM VS SECURE SELF-ESTEEM

Low self-esteem Secure self-esteem
 more vulnerable to clinical problems  one rooted in feeling good about who
(anxiety, loneliness, eating disorders) one is than grades, looks, money,
 often take a negative view of other’s approval
everything when feeling bad,  conducive to long-term well-being
threatened  rooted more in internal sources such
 believe their partners are as personal virtues
criticizing/rejecting them
 less satisfied with their relationships

o those with fragile self-worth – experienced more stress, anger, relationship problems,
drug use, eating dx (Crocker et al, 2004)
o those who pursue self-esteem by seeking becoming beautiful/rich/popular may lose
sight of what really makes the quality of life
o focus less on self-image, develop talents, relationships lead to greater well-being –
label this approach as self-compassion

SELF-EFFICACY – a sense that one is competent and effective, distinguished from self-esteem
 how competent we feel on a task
 believing in our own competence and effectiveness pays off – persistent, less anxious,
more academically successful
 strong sense of self-efficacy -- stay calm, seek solutions rather than spend time thinking
they’re inadequate
Self-efficacy (believe you can do something) while self-esteem (if you like yourself overall)
o your parents may have encouraged you by saying “you’re special” (to build self-esteem)
or “I know you can do it” (to build self-efficacy)
o study shows self-efficacy feedback (you did your best and tried really hard) led to better
performance than self-esteem feedback (you’re really smart)
o in encouraging someone, focus on their self-efficacy!

Locus of Control
Are you more often in charge of your destiny or a victim of circumstance?
o Extent to which people perceive outcomes as internally controllable by their own efforts
or externally controlled by chance or outside forces
1. Internal locus of control
a. You probably believe you control your own destiny
2. External locus of control
a. You probably feel chance or outside forces determine your fate
Internal locus of control External locus of control
Blame poor grades on their failure to study Blame an unfair teacher or test for their poor
performance

How much control we feel is related to how we explain setbacks…

o Need to have a more hopeful sense of personal control – believe that effort, good study
habits, self-discipline can make a difference

Learned Helplessness (Martin Seligman)

 Sense of hopelessness and resignation learned when one perceives no control over
repeated bad events
o After person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly. They come to
believe they are unable to control or change the situation so they do not try
even when opportunities for change become available.
 o people with depression become passive because they believe their efforts have
no effect

SELF-SERVING BIAS
Most of us have a good reputation with ourselves
 tendency to perceive oneself favorably

Self-serving attributions – attributing positive outcomes to oneself and negative outcomes to

something else is one of the most potent human biases
 people accept credit when told they succeeded (attribute success to their ability, effort)
but attribute failure to external factors (bad luck etc)
o when athletes win, they credit themselves but when they lose, attribute it to
something else: bad breaks, bad referee calls, dirty play)
 we help maintain our positive self-images by associating ourselves with success and
distancing ourselves from failure

Self-serving bias as adaptive…

 when good things happen, people with high self-esteem are more likely to savor and
sustain the good feelings
 buffers anxiety
 in childhood, we learn that when we meet standards taught by our parents: we re loved,
protected; when we don’t, these may be withdrawn from us – we associate viewing
ourselves as good with feeling secure

Self-serving bias as maladaptive…

 blame others for their social difficulties, often unhappy than those who acknowledge
their mistakes
 Self-serving perceptions can poison groups
 o Band members usually overestimate their contributions to a group’s success and
underestimated their contributions to failure (Barry Schlenker, 1976)

True humility isn’t false modesty. It leaves us free to recognize and rejoice in our special
talents the same way we recognize the talents of others

SELF-PERCEPTION
Are our expressions always sincere? Do we genuinely feel the same way on the outside as we
do on the inside? Or are we just putting on a positive face?

Self-handicapping
Sometimes people sabotage their chances for success by creating impediments that make
success less likely
 Engaging in behavior known to hurt performance—getting little sleep, using harmful
substance, not studying, not working hard
 Protecting one’s self-image with behaviors that create a handy excuse for later failure

Self-presentation
Whether we wish to impress, intimidate, or seem helpless, we are social animals, playing to an
audience
 Act of expressing oneself and behaving in ways designed to create a favorable
impression
 Wanting to present a desired image to other people or to ourselves
o Example: In unfamiliar situations, like a party, we would like to impress or in
conversation with someone we are attracted to, we put on the impressions we
are creating
 Unexpectedly improves mood; people feel better when they put their best face forward
and concentrate on making a positive impression on someone; social media is a venue
for self-presentation
Self-monitoring
For some, conscious self-presentation is a way of life
 Being attuned to the way one presents oneself in social situations and adjusting one’s
performance to create the desired impression
 They monitor their own behavior, note how others react, adjust their social
performance to gain a desired effect
 “I tend to be what people expect me to be”
 Act like social chameleons – adjust their behavior in response to external situations
 The self they know often differs from the self they show
 Those who score low in self-monitoring care less about what others think; more
internally guided and more likely to talk and act as they feel