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Excel Quick 3rd Edition Gaylord N. Smith Digital Instant
Download
Author(s): Gaylord N. Smith
ISBN(s): 9780324379044, 0324379048
Edition: 3
File Details: PDF, 10.11 MB
Year: 2007
Language: english
Excel Quick

3E

Gaylord N. Smith, MBA, CPA

Professor
Albion College, Albion, MI
 rd
Excel Quick, 3 Edition
Gaylord N. Smith

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COPYRIGHT © 2008, 2004 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Library of Congress Control Number:
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Contents

INTRODUCTION v

SECTION I: Excel 97, Excel 2000, Excel 2002 XP, and Excel 2003
Lesson 1 Basic User Skills 1
Lesson 2 Math: Formulas, Formats, and Functions 18
Lesson 3 Expanding and Enhancing Your Model 29
Lesson 4 Top Ten List 42
Lesson 5 Charts 54

Section II: Excel 2007

Lesson 1 Basic User Skills 66
Lesson 2 Math: Formulas, Formats, and Functions 85
Lesson 3 Expanding and Enhancing Your Model 98
Lesson 4 Top-Ten List 111
Lesson 5 Charts 124

Appendix A Functions for Business 136

Appendix B Data Commands 146
Appendix C Pivot Tables 151

iii
This page intentionally left blank
Introduction

Excel Quick is designed for busy people. People who need to get something done
today—this morning. People who do not want to read 100 pages before learning how to
enter some data and print out a simple spreadsheet model.

Most tutorials take days to complete. The goal of Excel Quick is to get users productively
up and running within one hour (Lesson 1). Completing all the lessons will take the rest
of the morning. You should find the lessons tightly sequenced and thorough. Grueling
details have been kept to a minimum.

This book uses a TEACH BY EXAMPLE approach. As little time as possible is spent
discussing; as much time as possible is spent doing.

Will you learn all there is to know about Excel using this book? Absolutely not. But it is a
safe bet that most of what you will ever need to know about Excel is contained in
this book. After completing all of the lessons in this manual, you will be able to design
some relatively complex spreadsheet models. When you reach the point where you
need to learn about some advanced command or feature in detail, go to a more
comprehensive user’s guide. In the meantime, Excel Quick will serve you well!

Section I of this book provides a tutorial for Excel 97, Excel 2000, Excel 2002 XP, and
Excel 2003. Section II covers Excel 2007. Although each version of Excel has added
new features, the basics are the same. Excel 2007 has its own section because of
extensive changes in the Excel command structure and icons, but again, the basics are
the same.

Lesson 1 of each section provides the minimum that you will need to know to use Excel
productively. This lesson takes longer to complete than any other lesson (about an
hour), but it may be all you will ever need. It covers starting and ending Excel; entering
text, numbers, and formulas on a worksheet; correcting errors; using toolbar buttons;
saving your work for later retrieval; and printing worksheet files. It also introduces “what-
if” analysis.

Lesson 2 introduces you to the mathematical capabilities of Excel. Lesson 3 shows you
how to quickly expand, modify, and enhance worksheets. These lessons should be
completed before attempting the remaining lessons.

Lessons 4 and 5 may be completed in any order. Lesson 4 provides extra information on
several specific areas of worksheet design, including using artwork. Lesson 5 covers
how to create, modify, and use charts and graphs.

Appendix A covers several Excel functions that are helpful in creating spreadsheet files
that can be utilized in business and finance. The website that supports this book is

v
vi Introduction

found at www.thomsonedu.com/accounting/smith. This site contains many additional

resources and examples of simple, but useful spreadsheet models. Appendix B covers
basic commands to manipulate an Excel database. Appendix C is a quick look at an
extraordinary report and summarization tool in Excel called a pivot table.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Sincerest thanks go to my editorial team at South-Western. Although the composition of

the team has changed over the years, new members always step in with the same level
of enthusiasm and support as their predecessors. The continuous professionalism and
dedication to the success of this series is both an inspiration and a comfort to me.
Thanks guys!

A particular note of thanks goes to Shaun Bonnell, Albion College student, for his
extensive assistance with this revision.

FINAL COMMENT

Enough said. Let’s get started!

SECTION I: Excel 97, Excel 2000, Excel
2002XP, and Excel 2003

Lesson 1
BASIC USER SKILLS

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

In this lesson, you will learn to:

• Start the Microsoft® Excel program

• Move the active cell around the worksheet
• Enter text and numbers
• Modify and delete entries
• Change column widths
• Use toolbar buttons to italicize, bold, align, and underline data; to undo
errors; to place borders in cells; and to total the values in a column
• Save worksheets for later recall
• Perform what-if analysis
• Print files
• Exit the Microsoft® Excel program

COMPUTER SPREADSHEETS

Imagine a large sheet of accounting paper with many columns and rows. In the
business world, this is often referred to as a worksheet or spreadsheet. Paper
spreadsheets are commonly used to gather large amounts of financial data and
to accumulate the results using a pencil and a calculator.

Computer spreadsheets are similar to paper spreadsheets in structure and

format. One big difference with computer spreadsheets is that the columns and
rows appear on a computer screen rather than on paper. Another difference is
that arithmetic calculations (totals, averages, etc.) can be performed
automatically by the computer. In fact, the real benefit to using a computer
spreadsheet comes when you start taking advantage of the program
s ability to
automatically perform calculations using different sets of numbers (called what-if
analysis) and to create charts (graphs) based on data contained in the
worksheet. A computer spreadsheet program such as Microsoft® Excel lends
itself perfectly to just about any application that requires the analysis and
manipulation of numbers.

1
2 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

Go to the www.thomsonedu.com/accounting/smith website to see some simple

and useful Excel applications.

BEFORE BEGINNING

1. Necessity of Saving Your Work. During the lessons in this tutorial, you will
be asked occasionally to save your work for use in a later lesson. Files
should be saved on your hard drive, removable flash drive or network. If
access to these is not available, you will need to save your work on a
properly formatted diskette.

2. ESC (Escape) Key. As you work through this tutorial, you will be asked to
enter commands using the mouse or various keys on the keyboard.
Occasionally, you may make a mistake by clicking the wrong spot or
pressing the wrong key. When this occurs, you can use the ESC (Escape)
key to escape from the incorrect entry. Pressing the ESC key once or twice
will eliminate the error. This will allow you to start over with the proper entry.

3. Getting Help. Excel uses the function key marked F1 as a help key. The
same help system is available by clicking the Help command in the Menu
Bar at the top of the screen.

STARTING MICROSOFT® EXCEL

The Section I tutorial covers four versions of Excel: Excel 97, Excel 2000, Excel
2002XP, and Excel 2003. Although each version of Excel has added new
features, the basics are the same. There may be some minor differences Excel

between the illustrations shown in this book and what you see on your screen.
Where major differences exist, they will be thoroughly discussed in the tutorial.

To start Excel, simply double-click the Microsoft ® Excel icon. You will see the
Excel opening logo for a few seconds followed by a screen containing a blank
worksheet window. If necessary, maximize the worksheet screen so that the work
area is as large as possible. Illustration 1.1 identifies some important elements of
the screen that are unique to Excel. Please take a minute to note the names of
the various parts of the Excel screen. Many of these names will be referred to
later in the tutorial. Each version of Excel will look slightly different.

Before beginning this tutorial, you should write in the space provided below which
version of Microsoft® Excel you are using (Excel 97, Excel 2000, Excel 2002XP,
and Excel 2003). To find out which version you are using, click About Microsoft
Excel (Help menu).

I am using Version ________

 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 3

Title bar
Menu bar
Font Standard tool bar
information Formatting toolbar
Name box Formula bar
Active cell

Column headers

Row
headers

Sheet tabs

Status bar

Illustration 1.1 Worksheet Terminology

For Excel 2000 and Excel 2002XP, if you have an annoying little paperclip
character on your screen, you can remove it by selecting Hide the Office
Assistant (Help menu). For Excel 2002XP, the default screen may show a
Startup Task Pane on the right side of the screen under the heading New
Workbook. Close it for now by clicking the “X” to the right of the words New
Workbook. (To eliminate the Startup Task Pane on a more permanent basis, click
on Options (Tool menu) and select View. Under the Show category, uncheck the
Startup Task Pane and click OK.)

THE WORKSHEET

Excel uses a grid of columns and rows to frame a work area that is known as the
worksheet. Each worksheet is displayed in its own worksheet window. The top
border of the worksheet window contains a row of sequential letters (A, B, C,
etc.). These are the column headers. The left border of the worksheet window
contains a column of sequential numbers (1, 2, 3, etc.). These are the row
headers. The intersection of a column and row is known as a cell. Currently the
worksheet is completely empty except for an outlined rectangular box in cell A1.
This box is known as the active cell. The active cell indicates where text or
numbers may be entered on the worksheet. You will also notice that the position
of this cell is indicated in the Name box just above the worksheet.
4 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN WORKBOOKS AND WORKSHEETS

Excel files are called workbooks. Each workbook can contain several pages,
which are referred to as worksheets. Currently on your screen is a workbook
named Book1, and it contains several empty worksheets. Notice the workbook
name in the Title bar at the top of the screen and the Sheet tabs at the bottom of
the worksheet. Both workbooks and worksheets can be given more descriptive
names, but for now the default names will be used.

MOVING AROUND THE WORKSHEET

There are several ways to move around the worksheet using either the mouse or
the keyboard. Both approaches are demonstrated below.

Using the Mouse

You can use the mouse to move the active cell around the worksheet simply by
aiming the mouse pointer at the cell you want to move to and then clicking the left
mouse button. To demonstrate this, click cell B1 (if you miss, aim and try again).
After doing this, the active cell should shift to a position under the B column
(notice the cell address in the Name box changes from A1 to B1). You can use
this method to move the active cell to any location on the worksheet.

The actual worksheet is bigger than what is shown on the screen. To

demonstrate this, click the right scroll arrow once and notice that column A is
no longer visible and that a new column has been added on the right side of the Right scroll
worksheet. arrow

Now for one of the surprises of this program. Repeatedly click the right scroll
arrow and note that new columns appear in alphabetic sequence (you can speed
up the scrolling by holding down the mouse button). Stop when you get to column
BD. You have moved out 56 columns. The far right column is IV. That
s 256
columns!

The worksheet also has more rows than are shown on the screen. Repeatedly
click the down scroll arrow to move down the worksheet. Notice the row
numbers increase each time you click the down scroll arrow (again, hold down
Down scroll
the mouse button to speed up the scrolling). Stop when you get to row 100. It arrow
would take a long time for you to find the bottom of the worksheet since it is
65,536 rows deep.

As you can see, the worksheet is very large. There are millions of cells available
for use on each worksheet. It is limited only by the memory of your computer.
What you see on the screen in the worksheet window is only a small portion of
the entire workbook.

As with other Windows programs, you can use the scroll bar to move quickly
around the worksheet. Dragging the scroll boxes horizontally or vertically over the
Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 5

scroll bars or clicking the scroll arrows are some common ways of moving
around. Feel free to experiment with these now. Position the active cell back in
cell A1 when you are done.

Using the Keyboard

You can also use the arrow keys on the keyboard to move the active cell around
the worksheet. The arrow keys are located on the right side of your keyboard.

Pressing any of the arrow keys will move the active cell in the direction of the
arrow. This is different than clicking the scroll arrows with the mouse. When you
click the scroll arrows with the mouse, the active cell remains stationary and the
worksheet moves. When you use the arrow keys on the keyboard, the active cell
itself moves.

To demonstrate using arrow keys, press the right arrow () key once. This
shifts the active cell over to column B. Now press the right arrow () key
repeatedly and notice that as new columns come on the screen, the active cell
remains visible.

There are also four common ways to move the active cell quickly around the
worksheet using the keyboard. These methods are particularly helpful for moving
the active cell long distances.

1. The first way is to simply hold down one of the arrow keys on the keyboard.
Holding down an arrow key moves the active cell quickly in the direction of
the arrow. Try it with the down arrow (
) key.

2. A second way is to use the keys marked PG UP (Page Up) and PG DN

(Page Down) on the keyboard. These move the active cell up and down one
page at a time, respectively. Try these keys out if you wish.

3. The third way to move long distances quickly is to use the END key in
conjunction with the arrow keys. No matter where the active cell is now,
press the END key once and then press the down arrow (
) key. What
happens? As you can see, the END key/arrow key combination moves the
active cell to the end of the column or row that the active cell is on. The
active cell will stop if it bumps into a cell that isn
t empty. Practice using the
END key. See if you can get the active cell positioned in the lower right
corner of the worksheet.

4. The fourth way is to hold down the CTRL key and then press the HOME
key. Try this CTRL+HOME key combination now and watch what happens.
This moves the active cell back to cell A1. This is a rather limited, but very
helpful, key combination.

If this does not work for you, try the HOME key by itself.
6 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

DATA ENTRY

You are now ready to learn how to enter data on the worksheet. All data entered
on a worksheet are classified as either text or values. You must be in the Ready
mode to enter data on the worksheet. Check the mode indicator on the left-hand
corner of the Status bar. If it does not say Ready, press the ESC key (repeatedly
if necessary).

Text

Text is cell input that is either letters or words. In some cases, numbers can
be entered as text. Excel does different things with values (i.e., mathematical
operations, special number formats, etc.) than with text so it is important that it
knows which cells contain text and which are values. By default, text is aligned to
the left side of a cell. As you will see later, the alignment of text can be changed
so that it is right-aligned or centered.

Values

Values are cell inputs that are either numbers, user-created formulas, or built-in
formulas (called functions). By default, values are aligned to the right side of a
cell, but this too can be changed.

ENTERING TEXT ON THE WORKSHEET

There are many conventions that relate to entering text and numbers that you
need to be aware of. Since the easiest way to introduce you to these is with a
demonstration, let
s begin entering some data on the worksheet. You will create a
simple financial plan for a consulting firm for the first quarter of the year.

To begin with, you will enter the label Consulting fees in cell A2. To do this, move
the active cell to cell A2 (use arrow keys or the mouse) and type the letter C. If
you make any typing errors, press the ESC key and start over. As soon as you
type the letter C, the word Enter appears in the mode indicator on the Status bar.

Now finish entering your label by typing the letters onsulting fees. You will see
the words “Consulting fees” appear in the cells and in the Formula bar.
Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 7

Storing Input in a Cell

Input is not actually stored in the cell until you (1) press the ENTER key, or (2)
press one of the arrow keys, or (3) click the Enter box in the Formula bar, or (4)
click some other cell. Pressing ENTER will store the input in the cell and move Enter
the active cell down one row. Pressing one of the arrow keys serves the dual
purpose of storing input in a cell and moving the active cell in the direction of the
arrow. This is particularly helpful when entering a large amount of data in a row
or column. Clicking the Enter box stores the input in the active cell without Cancel
moving it. Clicking the Cancel box serves the same purpose as pressing the ESC
key. Use any of these four methods now to store the label Consulting fees in cell
A2.

Throughout the rest of this tutorial all instructions for entering input onto the
worksheet will be condensed. You will simply be instructed to enter input into a
cell. How you choose to store the entry will be left up to you (using any of the four
methods just described).

Continue setting up the financial plan categories by entering Expenses in cell

A4, Salaries in cell A5, Commissions in cell A6, Social security taxes in cell
A7, Rent in cell A8, Total expenses in cell A9, and Net income in cell A11. If
you make any typing errors, press ENTER and leave them for now. You will be
shown how to correct them later.

Entering Long Labels

Notice that several labels extend over into column B. The extra characters aren
t
actually entered in column B, they are just displayed there. Now move the active
cell to cell B9 and enter the word micro. From the result, you can see that long
entries in a cell will not be completely displayed if the adjacent cell contains input.
8 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

Correcting Typing Errors Before Storing

If you make a typing error before you press ENTER you can use either the ESC
key or the BACKSPACE key to change your entry. Pressing the ESC key will
completely cancel the current entry and return you to the Ready mode so you can
start over. Pressing the BACKSPACE key will delete the current entry one
character at a time (working right to left), allowing you to correct your entry
without having to start over from scratch.

Correcting Typing Errors After Storing

There are many ways to correct errors that you catch after you store the input in
the cell. Two easy methods will be described here. The first method is to simply
type over the incorrect entry with a new entry. To demonstrate this, you will
change the label in cell A7 from Social security taxes to Payroll taxes. To do this,
simply move to cell A7 and enter Payroll taxes.

The second way to correct errors is to directly edit the contents of a cell. Move
the active cell to cell B9. Let
s change the word micro to macro. To activate the
Edit mode, press the F2 key—or double-click the cell—or move the mouse over
the word micro in the Formula bar and click once. The mode indicator changes
from Ready to Edit. Next, use the left arrow (
) key or the mouse to move the
insertion bar to the space between the letters i and c. The position of the in-
sertion bar is important because pressing the DELETE key erases letters to the
right and pressing the BACKSPACE key erases letters to the left. Since you want
to change micro to macro, press BACKSPACE now to erase the letter i, type the
letter a, and press ENTER.

Erasing Cell Contents Completely

Sometimes correcting errors can mean erasing cell contents completely. The
DELETE key can be used for this. Move to cell B9 and press the DELETE key.
Goodbye macro!
Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 9

TYPEFACE STYLES (FONTS)

More options
The name of the font currently being used by the worksheet is Arial and
the size of the type is 10 points. These are shown in the font style and font size
boxes. If either of these boxes is not shown on the toolbar, they can be found
by clicking the More Buttons or Toolbar Options button.
Font style box
To demonstrate how to change fonts within individual cells, move to cell A2. Then
click the Font style drop-down box. Up pops a menu of other font choices. Click
one that interests you. The label Consulting fees is immediately presented in the
new font. The type size can also be changed by clicking the Font size drop-down Font
size box
box and selecting another size. The row height will automatically change to
accommodate larger type sizes. Go ahead and experiment.

When you are done experimenting, set cells A2, A4, and A11 to the Arial font
with a point size of 12. Your screen should look exactly as shown below before
proceeding! Font
size box

CHANGING COLUMN WIDTH AND ROW HEIGHT

The titles Expenses, Commissions, Payroll taxes, and Total expenses all spill
over into column B. Column widths can be changed to accommodate long words
or numbers. Let
s widen column A so that the expense titles are completely
contained within it. To do this, move the mouse pointer to the line between
column headers for columns A and B at the top of the worksheet. When
positioned exactly on the line, the mouse pointer becomes a thick cross with
arrowheads at both ends of the horizontal bar. When this symbol appears, press
10 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

the mouse button to grab the right border of column A, drag the column border to
the right about an inch, and then release the mouse button. Column A is now
widened and the expense titles no longer overlap into column B.

Another way column widths can be changed is by selecting Column (Format

menu) and clicking on Width. The standard column width is 8.43 when the font is
Arial size 10.

There is also a way to size columns automatically. Move the mouse pointer again
to the line at the top of the worksheet between column headers A and B. When
the mouse pointer becomes a thick cross with arrowheads again, double-click the
mouse. This technique automatically makes column A just wide enough to
include the widest label in that column. See the illustration on the next page.

These same techniques can be used to change the height of any row.

ENTERING NUMBERS ON THE WORKSHEET

Now let
s give a little substance to your financial plan by adding some numbers.

Entering Numbers

Whenever you need to enter a number on a worksheet, simply enter it using

either the numerical keypad on the far right side of your keyboard (NUM LOCK
on) or the number keys across the top of your keyboard.

You do not need to include commas or dollar signs as you type in the value, but
Excel will accept them. Also, if you enter a decimal point, that will be shown as
well. You can enter negative numbers either by enclosing them in parentheses or
by preceding the number with a minus sign. You can enter percentages either by
typing in the number followed by a % (percent sign) or simply by typing in the
percentage as a decimal.
Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 11

Number Formats

Number formats are the presentation styles for values entered into cells. For
example, the value 1234 is shown below expressed in several common format
categories.

All of these formats can be shown with decimals, too (e.g., 1234.567 or
$1,234.56). Notice also that some of the values are not aligned exactly below
each other. Methods to correct this alignment problem are discussed in Lesson 2.

You can designate the number format for cells using the Format command on the
main menu. In some cases you can also assign number formats to cells
automatically by the way you enter values for the first time. To demonstrate this,
enter the following values in the indicated cells (be sure to use dollar signs and
commas where shown):

cell C2: $10,000 (use dollar sign and comma)

cell C5: $4,400 (use dollar sign and comma)
cell C6: 600 (no dollar sign or comma)
cell C7: 500 (no dollar sign or comma)
cell C8: 1,350 (use comma)
12 Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills

Now experiment in cell C8 by entering 1350, $1,350, and $1,350.00. Once a

number style is established for a cell, all subsequent entries in that cell will show
up in the established format until you formally change it. Changing formats will be
demonstrated in Lesson 2.

Entering Numbers as Text

Numbers are usually entered as values, but they can also be mixed with letters
and entered as text. Common reasons for doing this might be to enter inventory
part numbers, addresses, or calendar dates. When numbers and letters are
mixed in an entry, Excel is generally smart enough to recognize that entry as text.
For example, enter 1st Qtr in cell C1.

If you wish to treat an entry that contains only numbers as text, you can precede
the number with an apostrophe (
). The apostrophe itself does not show up in the
cell.

SAVE YOUR WORK

You should get in the habit of saving your work at regular intervals to prevent
losing it due to a power failure and other unforeseen mishaps. Select Save As
(File menu). If you can access your hard drive or network, select the drive and
directory where you want to save it. If you wish to save your file on a diskette,
insert it into drive A or B and select the appropriate drive. In the File Name text
box, type the name Plan1 and select Save.

USING TOOLBAR BUTTONS

Toolbar buttons are shortcuts that can be used to perform many main menu
commands quickly. Toolbar buttons are normally placed at the top of the
worksheet, but they can be moved, hidden, and customized in many ways.

To find out what each toolbar button does, place the mouse pointer on the button.
A short description of the function of that button appears in a small box below the
mouse pointer. Take a moment right now and check the function of each button.
Do not click any toolbar button with the mouse yet. The Help system in Excel is
another valuable source of information on all the toolbar buttons.

Now let
s use some of the toolbar buttons to enhance our preliminary financial
plan. Again, if these are not on your toolbar, you will find them by clicking More
Buttons or Toolbar Options button.

1. Move to cell C1, then click the Bold button. Instantly the title 1st Qtr is
changed to bold print.
Bold
Lesson 1 – Basic User Skills 13

2. In cell C1 again, click the Center button. Now the title 1st Qtr is centered in
the cell.
Center

3. In cell C1 again, click the Borders button drop-down arrow. Select the
single, thin bottom border (second from left, top row). A line is now drawn
Borders
across the bottom of cell C1.

4. Move to cell C8, then click the Underline button. The number 1,350 is now
underlined. Notice that Underline is different than Borders. Underline places
a line directly under the characters within a cell. Borders underlines the Underline
entire cell.

5. Ugh! That underline doesn
t look great. If total expenses turns out to be a
large number, the underline will look really short. Click the Undo button. You
Undo
can also turn off the underline by clicking the Underline button again.

6. In cell C8, click the Borders button drop-down arrow. Select the same thin
bottom border you did in step 3 above. Repeat this as well in cell C9.
Borders

7. Move to cell C11 and again click the Borders drop-down arrow. This time
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After the range has been properly selected, click the Italic button. The four
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Naida received me very graciously on the following afternoon. I was
a little surprised that she had made no attempt whatever to alter her
surroundings or in any way to create an atmosphere. The ordinary
hotel furniture and hangings were lightened only by a profusion of
flowers, mostly deep red roses. In place of the flowing robes one
might have expected, the great dancer wore a severe tailor-made
costume of grey tweed. Her hair was brushed plainly back from her
forehead and tied with ribbon behind. There was no other caller
present when I arrived.
"It would be charming of you to come so soon," she murmured, as
she held out her hand, "if it were your own will which brought you."
"My own will would have brought me here in any case," I assured
her, "but as it happens I have another mission. I am to ask you what
has become of Felix Worth."
I looked into the eyes of another woman for a moment, and I was
afraid. Her momentary fit of fury, however, passed. She motioned
me to a chair.
"How much do you know of this matter?" she asked.
"Nothing at all," I answered promptly.
"That is the way with him," she ruminated. "His agents never know
anything."
"That does not, I trust, prevent my finding great pleasure in making
your acquaintance, Mademoiselle," I ventured.
She looked at me curiously. Sixty seconds ago I should have
described her as being, off the stage, disappointedly plain. I realised
my mistake.
"It does not prevent your paying me any compliments you choose,"
she replied. "There is no reason why we should not be friends—even
comrades. The only cloud between us appears to be that it will fall
to your lot to kill the only man I have ever really cared for."
I started in my chair.
"I can assure you," I told her, "I am not out for that sort of thing at
all."
"But it will come," she persisted.
"It will not," I contradicted her firmly. "I have done all the killing I
want to, in fair fighting. I have a weakness for adventures, but
nothing would induce me to become an assassin."
She looked at me contemplatively, leaning across from her chair with
her chin balanced upon her hands. Then she got up and brought me
a queer round wooden box of fragrant Russian cigarettes. She
herself lit one, and I followed her example.
"Are you afraid, dear earnest Englishman," she asked, "that I should
hate you? Let me tell you the truth. For this man I have no love any
more. And he must die."
"He may live or he may die," I answered, "but I am no man's
executioner."
"We shall see," she remarked indifferently. "You are a just man,
beyond a doubt, but I like you. You are different from all others."
"In what respect?" I enquired.
"I admit you here," she replied, "to the intimacy of a private visit,
yet you have not yet suggested that you should become my lover. It
intrigues me, this diffidence."
I felt a sudden desire to get out of the room. She laughed at me,
laughed with simple, unaffected mirth, laughed till she came over
and laid her hands upon my shoulders.
"Go away, dear man," she begged, "before I make myself foolish
about you. You shall sit at my side to-night, and perhaps then, when
you see what others think of me, you may whisper different things."
"And where do I sit by your side to-night?" I asked.
"You and your two friends," she said, "sup with me in the restaurant
downstairs at midnight. Convey my compliments and this invitation
to your charming lady companion. I shall see her at the theatre and
will confirm it."
She gave me her fingers and held them for a moment against my
lips. Then I went out, a little dazed.
I began to fear that Naida was going to make trouble for me. At the
theatre that evening she demanded my constant attendance. Twice
she sent notes to my dressing room, and in the midst of the
tumultuous applause which followed her wonderful dancing, when
she stood in the wings with us after her seventh recall, she tore one
of the red roses which had been thrown on to the stage from its
cluster, and thrust it in my buttonhole.
"So!" she whispered. "They will know from whom that rose comes.
Your fingers will caress it when you sing. They will applaud you the
more for my sake."
This was all very pretty and soothing to my vanity, and, I frankly
admit, in its way pleasant, but I had all the time the feeling that it
was likely to bring trouble upon me. When, in her most charming
manner, Naida had issued her invitation to Rose, her enthusiastic
acceptance was entirely marred for me by the manner of it.
"A supper party will be perfectly delightful," Rose declared, smiling
with dangerous sweetness. "I have a little headache to-night but
that will pass. In any case you will not mind if Leonard—if Mr. Cotton
should bring me away early."
"So long as you do not rob me of my dear cavalier," Naida replied, to
my dismay, squeezing my arm.
I marched Leonard on one side, taking advantage of the insistent
roars of recall which drew Naida back on to the stage.
"Look here, Len," I said, "I don't know what this game is, but I'm
playing it for the three of us. I am obeying orders so far as
Mademoiselle Naida is concerned. If Rose won't see it, I shall rely
upon you."
"I'll do my best, old chap," he promised, with a gloom which I
fancied was not altogether natural. "It's a jolly hard situation,
though. Rose had asked me to take her out to supper to-night, and
to dinner on Sunday night."
"You can count that dinner off," I said firmly. "We three have dined
together every Sunday night since we started out. Sometimes it's
been a scrag of mutton and a glass of beer; once or twice—that
week at Cromer, Len—not even that. On Sunday night it's going to
be caviare and a Maryland chicken, and I'm in it."
"That's all right," Leonard assured me. "Of course, Rose thought that
you'd be in attendance on Naida."
"You and I won't have any misunderstanding, at any rate, Len," I
insisted. "Naida means just as much to me as that bit of fluff on your
coat. When our year is up, I shall ask Rose to marry me, and though
you're the dearest fellow in the world, I hope she'll have me and not
you."
"I sha'n't take advantage, old chap," Leonard promised, with a sigh,
"but it's getting filthily difficult. She pretended she wanted me to kiss
her last night."
"I'll punch your head if you do," I answered savagely. "Our call."
The supper party did not improve matters. We found quite a
distinguished little gathering in the foyer of the Milan, including the
managing director of the Parthenon, some of the best known
dramatic critics, a famous actor and his wife, another and a lady
who might have been, a foreign ambassador, and two other well-
known and distinguished men about town. Naida did her duty by
placing a very distinguished nobleman with cosmopolitan tastes
upon her right, but, to my secret dismay and the wonder of the rest
of the company, she insisted upon my occupying the seat on the
other side of her.
"Now," she whispered, looking at me from under her eyelashes with
that slow, curious smile upon her lips, "I have made the little lady
jealous, is it not so? And also the great managing director who pays
me my salary, and perhaps others. But what does it matter? You are
content?"
The lie came uneasily from my lips. Naida, however, seemed
satisfied. It was borne in upon me now that it was her deliberate
purpose, part of the game, in fact, not only to exploit me as a victim
of her charms but to practically advertise her simulated infatuation. I
watched Rose flirting desperately with a very attractive man who
was seated upon her left, and for a moment I felt that the situation
was impossible—that I should do best to mutter a few plain words to
my hostess and deliberately dissociate myself from the rôle into
which I had drifted. Then I remembered our chief's confidence—
Naida spoke to me with unexpected kindness. I caught the echo of
Rose's unnecessarily joyous laughter, and I changed my mind.
Thenceforth I played my part. I lent myself to the gaiety of the
moment. We were all young together. The wine was good, life was
good, the very music seemed playing us down the avenues of
pleasure. From a gay party we became almost an uproarious one.
We moved outside into the lounge for our coffee, Naida never letting
me for an instant leave her side, relegating to me the duties of host,
thrusting her pocketbook into my hand, insisting that I should order
the cigars and liqueurs, fee the waiters, and even sign the bill on her
behalf. There were many smiles amongst the little company, shrugs
of the shoulders, and whispered enquiries as to my identity. My
fictitious position seemed to make me an object of envy, but I never
altogether lost my head. I waited for my opportunity, and when it
came I rose quickly to my feet and walked over to Rose's side. Her
companion of the moment had been summoned away to speak to
some acquaintances in another part of the lounge.
"Rose," I began sternly——
She looked at me with a bright but artificial smile. I leaned down
and continued under my breath.
"I play the buffoon to order," I reminded her. "You, too, have your
part in this."
"Indeed?" she murmured.
"Yes! Your part is not to make mine more difficult. Your part is to
remember——"
Then I stopped short. It was a difficult position. There was my
contract with Leonard to be borne in mind.
"To remember what?" she asked, looking at me more naturally.
"The things of which your heart assures you," I answered. "I am
only human. If I fail to-night, the fault will not be wholly mine."
After that there was a change in Rose's demeanour, and once, when
our eyes met, she smiled. Naida, however, still played her part of
sorceress. She seemed impatient of every word she was forced to
speak to others. She whispered often in my ear. Even her fingers
sought mine. It was just at this stage that for the first time I noticed
the somewhat singular appearance of a man who was watching us
from the few seats upstairs reserved for guests of the hotel who
were not in evening dress. As though he sought concealment, he
had found a chair in the most remote corner and was half hidden by
a slight projection of the wall. He had a mass of black hair, a heavy,
sallow face, from which one formed the idea that he had recently
removed a beard, and dark staring eyes. He was untidily dressed for
his surroundings, amongst which he seemed curiously out of place.
An impulse prompted me to point him out to Naida. She glanced in
the direction I indicated but merely shrugged her shoulders.
"Dear friend," she whispered, "you forget that I am a famous
person, more so abroad than in your little island. There are many
who watch me with thoughts in their heart which they will never
dare to utter. There are many who would give a share of their
possessions to be seated where you are seated, to be treated as I
am treating you."
"The man is a foreigner, without a doubt," I remarked.
"And foreigners," she answered, with a stabbing little glance, "are
quicker to feel and understand than Englishmen."
We kept the party going until long past closing time, and then an
adjournment of our diminished numbers was made to Naida's suite.
Here she distributed signed photographs to her remaining guests,
accompanied by a wave of the hand which meant dismissal. Rose
and Leonard were amongst the first to leave, Rose with a look in her
eyes which might have meant anything. I stepped quickly forward.
Naida looked at me warningly. Now that we had left the lounge, it
seemed to me that her demeanour had to some extent changed.
"For your impatience, Monsieur Maurice," she said, "you will be the
last. Offer the cigarettes, if you please. And your friend Mr. Cotton,
will he not take a whisky and soda before he goes?"
One by one they drifted away. Rose and Leonard were driven home
by one of the former's new admirers. The time came when we were
alone. Naida listened to the closing of the door and to the clanging
of the lift gate. Then with her back to the table against which she
was leaning, she looked across at me with an odd little smile upon
her lips.
"So we are alone, my friend."
"It has that appearance," I admitted, taking one of her cigarettes
and lighting it. "I await your further instructions."
She nodded her head slowly. She seemed to be considering my
attitude.
"My further instructions," she mimicked. "Oh, Monsieur Maurice,
what a strange person! Ring the bell on your left, please."
I obeyed. A maid presented herself at once from the inner room.
Naida spoke to her for a moment in some weird language. Then she
turned towards me, yawned and stretched herself.
"Prepare for a shock," she said. "For ten minutes I leave you. You
seat yourself in that easy chair, you take a whisky and soda and the
evening paper, you make yourself at home. You understand?"
"Perfectly," I answered, not at all sorry for a few minutes' solitude.
"Then au revoir! But have no fear," she added, looking back with a
mocking smile, "I shall return."
A quarter of an hour or so passed. I heard Naida telephoning from
her bedroom and heard her voice in conversation with her maid.
Then she reappeared. She was wearing a yellow creation tied
around her with a girdle, Chinese sandals tied with broad yellow
ribbon; and her unloosed hair was gathered together with ribbon of
the same colour. She displayed herself for my admiration.
"You admire, Monsieur Maurice? You like the colour?"
"You look charming," I replied. "And now?"
She held up her finger.
"You are not to stir," she directed, waving her finger at me.
She moved towards the door which led into the corridor, opened it
softly and peered outside. Then, as though not satisfied, she
disappeared altogether. When she returned, she closed the door with
a little slam and threw herself into a chair opposite to me.
"And now?" I repeated patiently.
"It is the hardest part of your task, this, Monsieur Maurice," she said,
with a demure little droop of the eyes. "You see the time? It is
exactly two o'clock. For one hour you remain where you are. At the
end of that hour you are free. You may then leave, and, if you wish
it so, your courtship of Naida is over."
"And for that hour?" I asked, a little unsteadily.
She came and sat on the arm of my chair. Her face was upturned to
mine.
"Shall I keep you company?" she whispered.
I leaned down and took the kiss she offered me. I held her for a
moment in my arms. Then I gripped her wrists.
"Naida," I said, and my own voice sounded to me unfamiliar, "of
course I know this is a game, but I don't understand the rules."
"We make them," she murmured.
"I am in love with Rose Mindel," I continued. "I should be married to
her at the present moment but for a stupid agreement between
Leonard Cotton and myself, made when we three started out
together. I am in love with her, but I'm no Joseph. You know what
you are, and your power. I'm not any different from other men."
"But you do not care, then?" she asked quickly.
"There isn't any ordinary young man of my type," I answered, "who
has drunk your wine and sat by your side all the evening, and
received your kindness, and finds himself here alone with you, who
wouldn't care—in a way—the wrong way. I care like that, if it's any
good. And now you understand."
She slipped from her place, kissed me on both eyes, and ran across
to the door of the inner room. She looked back at me only for a
moment, opened her lips, said nothing, and disappeared, closing the
door softly behind her. I mixed myself the stiffest whisky and soda I
had ever concocted in my life, lit a cigar from a box I found on the
sideboard, and sat down to watch the clock.
At five minutes to three, I was walking up and down the room with
my overcoat on. At a minute to the hour, as I stood with my eyes
glued to the clock, the inner door softly opened. Naida stood framed
upon the threshold. There was a look of distress upon her face.
"Monsieur Maurice," she said, "I had made up my mind to say
nothing, but that was wrong. You are a very honourable young man
and I have not met many. It has been promised to me that no harm
shall come to you, but yet—go warily to the lift."
She disappeared and closed the door. For the first time she locked it.
Somehow, I felt, as I stepped out into the corridor, that the dangers
which might be waiting for me were small things. I stood for several
seconds, looking up and down. To reach the lift I had to traverse the
whole of the corridor, turn to the left and pass along another shorter
one. I stepped out carelessly enough, and then—the scantily lit
passage seemed suddenly filled with whispering voices, with eyes
peering at me from mysterious corners; the soft carpets behind me
were reverberant with muffled and stealthy footsteps. I was acutely
conscious of the presence of danger. As I neared the corner of the
corridor every nerve of my body was bristling with apprehension.
Before I turned, I paused for a moment and looked behind. There
was only a single electric lamp burning, but I could see dimly along
the empty space to the end. There was no sign of any moving
figure, nor any sound. Then I turned the corner to find myself
suddenly seized in a pair of giant arms, the dull flicker of upraised
steel before my eyes, the sallow, brutelike face, the black, flaming
eyes of the man who had watched me from the lounge, within an
inch or two of me.
I had no chance to call out. My assailant's left hand was upon my
throat. I could see him gathering strength to drive that knife down
into my heart. My brain was perfectly active. I waited with tense
muscles for the terrible moment, meaning to fling myself on one side
in the hope that I might escape mortal injury from that first blow, at
any rate. And then I saw something loom up behind. I saw an arm
raised even higher than my captor's, and I heard the wickedest
sound in life—the crash of dull metal into a man's skull. The grasp
upon my throat was instantly relaxed, doors were thrown open along
the corridor, and I sank back into a momentary fit of
unconsciousness.

If our customary supper party with Mr. Thomson lacked some of

those qualities which in the earlier days of our adventures had made
it so wonderful a thing, the change of venue, and our host's curious
genius in devising new dishes, still contrived to make the occasion a
memorable one. We met this time in a private room at the Hotel
Albion at Brighton, whither a telephone message had summoned us
earlier in the day. Mr. Thomson, spick and span as ever, looking in
the pink of condition, commended to us the best oysters in the world
and sipped almost reverently the contents of a dust-covered bottle
of Chablis.
"I am not sure," he told us, with the air of one imparting grave
knowledge, "that in these days it is not possible to find better
vintages out of London than one comes across even in the
restaurants de luxe. This wine, for instance."
"The wine is wonderful," Rose agreed. "These oysters are wonderful,
too, and I never saw such a lobster mayonnaise as that upon the
sideboard. But, dear Mr. Thomson, if you expect us to enjoy our
supper, do be merciful. There will be no waiter in the room for at
least five minutes. Give us some idea as to the meaning of this last
adventure."
Mr. Thomson smiled benevolently.
"Why not?" he said. "Here is the story in a very few words. There
was in London, ten days ago, the most dangerous anarchist and
political disturber of the peace in Europe. His name is a household
word to all of you. He passed here as Paul Kansky."
"Naida's lover," I ventured.
"As a matter of fact, her husband," Mr. Thomson explained. "His
removal was absolutely necessary for the internal peace of this
country. There were a hundred charges on which he could have
been arrested, but not one for which he could have been safely put
out of the way. Being at times open to accept a contract of this
nature, I undertook to dispose of him."
I shivered a little as I listened. Mr. Thomson continued very much as
though he were referring to some ordinary commercial undertaking.
"Kansky's one weakness was Naida Modeschka, his one passion
jealousy. With the aid of our young friend here, I succeeded in
fanning that passion into a red-hot flame. I succeeded, too, in
engineering such an attempt at wilful murder on the part of Kansky
that his own demise, owing to the apparently accidental intervention
of a casual rescuer, seemed to occur quite naturally. You behold the
result of an exceedingly well-laid scheme. This mischievous person is
dead and buried under the name he bore at the Milan Hotel, and
which the great world of his followers does not recognise."
"Then my rescuer," I exclaimed, "John P. Martin, the American Oil
Trust man——"
"Precisely," Mr. Thomson interrupted. "Mr. Martin was my agent, a
man of iron and a professional fighter, planted in room number
eighty-four, with instructions to intervene on your behalf in such a
way that Kansky could give no more trouble."
"And those other two men who gave evidence—the witnesses?"
"Also arranged for," Mr. Thomson acknowledged. "It was really a
very well-planned affair. The man Kansky's passion for Naida was
proved by the letters produced in court. His attack upon our young
friend here provided ample excuse for Mr. Martin's vigorous action.
The witnesses, of course, were able to declare that Kansky was in
the act of committing a probable murder, and that Martin's contra
attack, with its unfortunate results, saved your life."
"And Naida?" Rose enquired.
Mr. Thomson smiled.
"How should we be able to deal with these little affairs," he
observed, "but for the vagaries, my dear Miss Mindel, of your
wonderful sex? Naida was a very willing accomplice in our little
scheme. For seven years in a brutalised Russia she had lived under
that man's dominance. When she was fortunate enough to escape
over here, it was certainly not with the idea of again submitting to it.
I hear the waiter. Any more questions?"
"For whom were you acting?" I asked eagerly. "How did this affair
come into your hands?"
Mr. Thomson seemed to be listening to the roar of the sea, which
came to us pleasantly through the open window.
"Ah!" he murmured. "That again is a question the answer to which I
fear must be postponed. Shall we call it Conundrum Number Four?"
 CONUNDRUM NUMBER FIVE
THE TRAGEDY AT GREYMARSHES
"Spring," Leonard declared, fanning himself with his straw hat and
breathing in the ozone from the waves which rippled up to within a
few yards of our chairs, "is upon us."
"I must get some new frocks," Rose murmured absently.
"To-morrow," I reflected, "I must go through my tennis flannels."
"Jolly good-looking girl that was with the party from the Grange at
the show last night," Leonard continued reminiscently. "I liked the
way her eyelashes curled. Jolly fine figure, too."
"The tutor man is quite handsome," Rose ruminated. "He ties his
black evening bow just the way I like."
"Handsome!" I scoffed. "Why, he's got a cast in his eye! He reminds
me, more than anything, of the plaster villains in the Chamber of
Horrors at Madame Tussaud's."
"I didn't notice any cast," Rose sighed, her eyes turned dreamily
seawards. "He looked at me hard enough, too, when I was dancing."
"They're a strange crew at the Grange," I observed, lighting a
cigarette from the case which Leonard had thrown me. "I can't
altogether size them up."
Rose turned towards me reproachfully.
"You are becoming obsessed, Maurice, with your love of
adventures," she complained gently. "You think of nothing else.
Surely, in this dear, old-world place we can have a little rest; we can
drop the tenseness of the last few months and become just simple,
natural human beings again."
"The chief didn't send us down here for nothing," I ventured.
"Don't forget," she reminded me, "that at our last supper at Brighton
I begged for a little rest. Only a few weeks afterwards, he sent us
here. I am quite certain that nothing ever happened at
Greymarshes. If we get into any trouble here, it will simply be
because the spring is so disturbing."
She looked at me lazily, almost affectionately. Then she looked at
Leonard. His hat was tilted over his eyes and his hands were clasped
around his knees. There was very little of his good-natured, pudgy
face to be seen.
"I wonder," she continued, with a little sigh, "why neither of you ever
make love to me. I'm very attractive."
"The situation," Leonard began, taking his hat off and sitting up——
"Oh, hang the situation!" Rose interrupted irritably. "If you can't
make up your minds which of you it is to be, you might toss up or
something. Here's spring coming on. I'm twenty-two years old, and I
haven't got a young man. You will drive me to answer some of the
desperate notes which are showered upon me by lovesick youths
from the front row. I had another last night from Arthur. I believe
that he really loves me."
"I'm afraid Arthur will have to be spanked," I said.
Rose made a little grimace.
"There is such a thing, Mr. Maurice Lister," she declared, "as playing
the watchdog just a little too zealously—especially in the springtime.
See who's coming. I think I shall turn round and smile."
We both looked along the sands in the direction which she had
indicated by her parasol. A tall, weedy young man, dressed with the
utmost care in a grey flannel suit, brown shoes and linen spats, a
Panama hat and a quaintly impossible tie, came slowly towards us,
swinging a stick in his hand. As he drew near, he diffused
multitudinous odours. His pimply face was suffused with a deep flow
of colour. We realised at once what was going to happen. The young
man whom we knew by repute only as Mr. Arthur Dompers,
established at the Grange with a tutor and a small company of
satellites, had evidently made up his mind to speak to us.
He came to a standstill, sidled round to the front of us, and raised
his hat.
"Good morning! I say, you'll forgive my saying so—what? Awfully
jolly show of yours! Ripping!"
Now I cannot say that any of us took to this young man, and,
considering our Bohemian manner of life, we none of us had a fancy
for chance acquaintances. The gentle rebuke which we had
meditated, however, died away, first on Rose's lips and then on
mine. It became apparent to us that the boy was horribly nervous.
"Glad you like it," I rejoined.
"So nice of you," Rose murmured.
"Quite a crowd from your place last night, wasn't there?" Leonard
observed.
"That's right," the young man acquiesced. "We all weighed in—had
dinner early on purpose. Jolly place you've got here."
"Won't you sit down?" Rose invited.
The boy squatted promptly at her feet. He wore pink socks and he
reeked of scent, yet there was something a little pathetic in his
obvious desire to be friendly.
"Are you cramming for anything in particular?" I asked him.
"I was supposed to go in for the Army," was the dubious reply, "but
the exams are so jolly difficult. I failed for Sandhurst twice. Now
they're trying to get me in at Cambridge so that I can join a cadet
corps."
"The exams are so much stiffer since the war," Rose remarked
consolingly.
"Are any of your people down here with you?" I enquired.
The boy shook his head.
"I haven't any people to speak of," he confided, "except an uncle I
have scarcely ever seen. Another uncle—my father's brother—left
me all my money. Sometimes," the young man added, with a queer
flash of seriousness which made one forget his socks and his tie and
his pimples, "I wish he hadn't."
"It must be awfully nice, though, to feel that you've plenty of time in
life for games and all that sort of thing," Rose remarked, with a mild
attempt at consolation.
"I'm not very good at games," the young man confessed. "Mr.
Duncombe and his friends are so much better than I am, and they
always laugh at me."
"That is a very untutorlike thing to do," Rose declared indignantly.
The young man looked frightened.
"Mr. Duncombe is very good to me—very kind indeed," he repeated,
in parrot-like fashion.
"Is he?" Rose queried drily.
"He has no end of people down so that we shouldn't be dull," the
young man went on. "There's his sister—she's very kind to me, too.
I think I shall have to marry her."
"Why?" Rose asked in bewilderment.
"I think Mr. Duncombe would like me to," was the resigned reply. "I
am very fond of Ella. She sings and dances beautifully."
"How old are you?" Rose enquired.
The boy seemed on the point of making another parrot-like reply.
Then he chanced to meet the kindly expression in Rose's face as she
leaned towards him. He hesitated.
"There's a sort of secret about my age," he confided. "Mr. Duncombe
likes me to tell every one that I am twenty."
"And aren't you?" I asked curiously.
He shook his head.
"I shall be twenty-one on Saturday," he said. "I shall be able to sign
cheques of my own then—and make my will."
"What do you want to make your will for?" Rose asked. "You're
strong enough, aren't you?"
"It is the duty of every one with a great deal of money to make their
will directly they are twenty-one," the boy declared, as though
repeating a lesson. "If I had my own way," he added, looking up at
Rose, "I should leave a great deal of money to you, but I don't
suppose I shall be allowed to."
"Good gracious, Mr. Dompers!" Rose exclaimed. "Why, I scarcely
know you!"
"I like your face," the young man continued earnestly. "If you saw
the faces of the people who are staying at the Grange, you would
know what I mean. They all look as though they wanted something.
They remind me sometimes of a pack of hounds. And they pretend
not to, but they are always watching me."
We had been so engrossed in the self-disclosures of this half-witted
young man that we had not noticed the approach of another
promenader along the sands. It was a very different person who
now accosted us, hat in hand and a courteous smile upon his lips.
There was not a single criticism in which the most fastidious might
indulge against Hilary Duncombe's address, his manners or his
clothes.
"Good morning! I am glad to see that my young ward has been
finding friends."
The young man scrambled at once to his feet and stood, awkward
and speechless, a little apart. His tutor, the very prototype of kindly
and aristocratic ease, addressed a few kindly remarks to us.
"I am so thankful," he went on, "when Arthur finds courage to speak
to any one. He is a good boy, but he finds conversation with
strangers as a rule difficult."
"We haven't found him at all shy," Rose assured him, with a smile at
the subject of these remarks. "On the contrary, he has been
entertaining us quite nicely."
Mr. Duncombe appeared to find Rose's favourable judgment a matter
for personal gratification.
"You are very kind," he said. "I am sure that Arthur has already told
you how charmed we were with your performance last night. My
guests are agitating for a permanent change in our dinner hour, that
we may be more frequent attendants."
"How nice!" Rose murmured. "It does make quite a difference to see
some civilised people in the reserved seats."
"My sister," Duncombe continued, "would be delighted to make your
acquaintance. We may, perhaps, persuade you to pay us a little visit
at the Grange after the performance one evening. Arthur," he went
on, "we must get back now. Ella is waiting for a set of tennis."
They moved off together. The impression they left behind was an
unpleasant one.
"A second Ardalmont case," Leonard suggested.
"In which case," I reflected gloomily, "the mystery of our presence
here is solved."
We were a little depressed as we returned to the hotel—a long,
grey-stone building, once a farmhouse and still entirely
unpretentious. Our worst prognostications were promptly verified.
The maidservant who waited upon us in the coffee room brought me
a note with a typewritten address.
"This was left here by a motor-cyclist soon after you went out, sir,"
she announced.
I tore open the envelope and we pored over it:

Accept any hospitality proffered from the Grange. Encourage the

young man, Arthur Dompers, to talk, watch Duncombe, and
report on the situation.

"Dull as ditchwater!" I exclaimed, as I tore up the communication in

disgust. "An unprepossessing cub of a boy, whom his tutor permits
to be fleeced at billiards and whom he is probably going to marry to
his sister. Sordid as it can be. Not a thrill in it for us."
"This may be my show," Rose mused, her blue eyes very wide open
and innocent. "I may be able to guide the young man from the
matrimonial noose. I wonder if he is really very rich. Perhaps I'll
marry him myself. I suppose I could keep him on a chain."
I sipped my apéritif gloomily. The taste of true adventures was still
upon my palate, and the obviousness of this one repelled.
Our ideas as to the menacing nature of Arthur Dompers'
surroundings were to some extent modified by our first visit to the
Grange, which took place that night after the performance. Ella
Duncombe was a rather slangy, somewhat unpleasant-looking young
woman of apparently twenty-six or twenty-seven years of age. She
had a bad temper, which she scarcely troubled to conceal, and
conducted herself generally towards her brother's charge with more
contempt than toleration. She scarcely fulfilled one's idea of an
adventuress. Major Lethwaite, a guest in the house whom we had
fixed upon as the person accustomed to play Arthur Dompers for a
hundred pounds at billiards whenever finances ran low, was to all
appearance a perfectly harmless person who played sixpenny points
at bridge and thought sixpenny pool excessive. Laura Richardson, a
friend of Ella's, was just an ordinary, fairly well-bred, good-looking
but rather boisterous young person. Mrs. Scatterwell, whose place
apparently was that of chaperon, was a handsome and rather silent
woman, whose sole interest seemed to be centred in Duncombe
himself. The ménage was perhaps a curious one, but scarcely
suspicious. Our host himself appeared to have no reserves except on
the subject of his young charge.
"After the war was a bit of a knock for most of us," he remarked
meditatively, as we men sat in the smoking room of the Grange after
a very excellent supper. "Here are you, Lister, with a game arm,
going round the country entertaining, more or less, I take it, for your
living. I tried every job that was offered me and did very little good
at any of them. Last of all I took this bear-leading on, and, between
you and me, I sometimes wish to God I hadn't!"
"Why?" I asked. "The boy seems amiable enough."
"He seems so," Duncombe assented drily, "but the fact of it is that
he is innately clumsy and innately deceitful. There is no sport for
which he shows the least aptitude. I've tried them all with the same
result. The only thing he can do is swim, and even then it's hard
work to get him into the sea unless the sun shines. He hasn't the
slightest taste; I am bound by the trustees' deed to allow him pocket
money at the rate of a hundred pounds a month, and half of it he
spends in buying most outrageous clothes. You know who he is, I
suppose?"
"Not an idea," I replied.
Duncombe's eyebrows were slightly raised. He looked at me keenly.
"Dear me!" he exclaimed. "I took it for granted that you knew the
story. He is the Welsh miner's orphan, who inherited two and a
quarter million from Jacob Dompers of New York. A nice little
windfall for a cub like this, isn't it?"
I remembered reading the story in the newspapers some years ago.
So did Leonard.
"What about his relatives?" the latter asked.
"The only one with whom I have had any communication,"
Duncombe replied, "was a Welsh Baptist Minister who declined to
have anything to say to the young man, and who wrote me on half a
sheet of brown grocery paper, pointing out by means of many
Biblical texts that no person with a banking account could hope to
escape the flames of the bottomless pit."
"Who placed the boy in your charge, then?" I enquired.
"The London agents for the New York solicitors. I answered an
advertisement. I think they realise," he went on, "that I have done
my best. I have tried to fit him for one or two professions, in vain."
"How long have you had him?" Leonard asked.
Duncombe's long fingers played for a moment with his small black
moustache. There was a quick light in his eyes as he glanced
towards Leonard.
"Three years this June," he answered.
"Then he was sixteen when he came to you?"
Duncombe assented with a little motion of his head.
"You probably think that he is backward now for nineteen," he said.
"You should have seen him when he came to me."
"I suppose he is backward," I admitted, "and yet, to tell you the
truth, I should have thought him older."
"His twentieth birthday is this week," Duncombe told us. "I am
getting a thousand a year and my expenses for looking after him,
and I haven't any prospects of a job when he is out of my hands,
but I wish to heavens it was his twenty-first!—I suppose we ought to
see what the others are doing."
We made our way out into the hall, which was the main living room
of the Grange. Arthur was playing billiards with Lethwaite, playing
sullenly and without interest, and turning around after every stroke
to listen to the conversation between Rose and the other two girls,
who were seated upon a lounge, watching. Lethwaite, just as we
appeared, went out with a stroke which was an obvious fluke. Arthur
flung half a crown across the table and put up his cue ill-humoredly.
"Beastly fluke!" he grumbled. "No one can play against such luck."
He strode over with his hands in his pockets to where Rose was
seated. Miss Duncombe watched him approach with a sombre light
in her dark eyes.
"Bad-tempered again, Arthur?" she observed.
"He's a rotten fluker," the young man rejoined surlily. "He wins all my
pocket money."
For a single moment the whole situation seemed to be
commonplace, almost absurd. Here was a sulky, ill-conditioned boy,
pitchforked into the charge of a very ordinary little company of
gentlepeople, who were doing their best to make him one of
themselves. Duncombe's rebuke was free from all severity, and it
was certainly merited.
"Arthur," he said, "you should never accuse your opponent of fluking
at any game. Take your defeat in silence if you cannot be pleasant
about it. Mr. Lister or Mr. Cotton would tell you that I am giving you
good advice."
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