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What to Do When You Become the Boss (2007) offers practical strategies for

effectively managing in all directions: upward, downward, and inward. This accessible

manual covers essential management skills from team leadership and performance

management to decision-making and self-management, serving as both an introduction for

new managers and a reference tool for experienced leaders navigating workplace challenges.

Who should read Flip It?

 Professionals aiming to handle challenges with more clarity

 Habit-builders looking to shift mindset and follow through

 Confidence-seekers ready to upgrade their daily thinking

Table of Contents
Introduction................................................................................................................................3

It starts with your team...............................................................................................................4

Clear expectations set you up for success..................................................................................5

Some feedback on feedback.......................................................................................................6

Manage employee transitions.....................................................................................................7

Managing happens in all directions............................................................................................8

Remember to manage yourself...................................................................................................9

Final summary..........................................................................................................................10

About the author.......................................................................................................................10

Introduction
What’s in it for me? Manage better.

So, you’ve been promoted to management. Congratulations! The pay is better, but the
job? That’s another story. Remember when you knew exactly what success looked like in
your role? Now the markers have shifted. Your technical skills got you here, but suddenly,
you’re juggling team dynamics, unclear expectations, and conversations no one trained you to
have. Such moments of doubt are part of every new manager’s journey. The sleepless nights
worrying about how to motivate that underperforming team member or navigate conflict
between colleagues? Completely normal. Every successful manager has stood exactly where
you are now, feeling that same uncertainty. This Blink offers the practical wisdom that
experienced managers wish someone had shared with them during their first leadership role.
It spells out what works. And it helps you take clearer steps, right from the start. If that
sounds good, let’s get right into it.
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Chapter 1 of 6
It starts with your team
Let’s start right away with the bad news: most people are promoted to management
because they’re great at something that isn’t management. Then the job hits – with budgets to
balance, reviews to run, strategy to lead, and conflicts to sort out. It’s a lot, and it hits fast.
But here’s the good news: managing effectively really boils down to just two components:
task focus and relationship focus. Task focus means getting things done – setting goals,
making plans, hitting targets. You’ve already shown you can do that – that’s why you’re now
a manager. So in this Blink, we’ll concentrate on that second focus, beginning, in this section,
with team building. How do you build a team, you might be asking? But here’s another
question: Do you even have a team? You might be in charge of a team that needs to
collaborate. You might also be managing a group who work independently. This team-group
distinction should inform your management approach. To manage a group, focus on one-on-
one communication and use meetings primarily for information sharing. If you do have a
team, your approach should begin with an honest assessment of its dynamics. Once you’ve
taken a good look at how your team works together, you can make targeted improvements to
fix specific issues you’ve spotted. Start with what you see. If the team feels disconnected,
that’s your signal to step in. Do team members work in their own bubbles? If so, create
projects that mix people from different areas and set up regular show-and-tell sessions. When
people work alone too much, connect their deliverables so they have to collaborate. And
where you observe knowledge gaps, pair up team members so they can learn from each other.
Once you’ve addressed the team structure, zoom in on individuals. Talk to each person about
what drives them. Then, where it makes sense, align their personal goals with your team
objectives. For example, when someone wants to develop specific skills, create opportunities
for them to practice within team projects. Remember, one of your strongest management
tools is this dual perspective. When you understand both the group dynamic and what
motivates each person, you can create an environment that brings out the best in both. That’s
the groundwork. Now let’s look at what happens when a manager misses something
foundational – and how to fix it.
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Chapter 2 of 6
Clear expectations set you up for success
Meet Sarah. Sarah was recently promoted to team manager based on her stellar
performance as a marketing specialist. Excited about building relationships with her new
team, she focuses on creating a positive atmosphere and being approachable. But then comes
the surprise. Her boss says the team is underperforming. Confused, Sarah talks to her team.
That’s when she uncovers the real problem: people don’t know what’s expected of them.
They’re unclear on priorities. They don’t know what good work looks like. And they aren’t
sure how they’re being measured. Despite her best intentions, Sarah skipped a core part of
management: setting clear expectations. Your people genuinely want to perform well. But
even the most talented employees need structure and guidance to succeed. As a manager, it’s
your job to define team roles and make sure each person understands what’s expected. How
can you do this? One way is to reframe how you think about roles. This involves defining
roles through outputs rather than inputs. Outputs describe the result. For example, instead of
saying a Head of Customer Service “supervising operations of the customer service team.”
An output-focused role description could describe that same duty as “ensuring 95 percent
customer satisfaction while maintaining efficiency standards.” This output-focused approach
immediately clarifies what success looks like. But who creates these role descriptions? Well,
you do – but not on your own. Work with the person in the role to develop a shared
understanding of what their job entails. This collaborative approach often reveals aspects of
the role you might have overlooked. Once roles are defined, work with each team member to
set performance standards. These should be specific and measurable. Think quantity – like
the number of units produced or customers served. Then comes quality – these can be error
rates or customer satisfaction scores. And finally, time – these could be deadlines met or
response times. By taking time upfront to establish clear expectations, you create the
foundation for high performance. Your team members will thank you for the clarity. And
you’ll all spend less time addressing problems and more time celebrating successes. But
expectations alone aren’t enough. To keep people aligned and performing, they need to hear
how they’re doing – regularly, and clearly. That brings us to one of the most misunderstood
tools in a manager’s toolkit: feedback.
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Chapter 3 of 6
Some feedback on feedback
Sometimes feedback sounds like this: “So...great weather we’ve been having, right?
Anyway, the project is coming along nicely. Oh, and your reports have been late and missing
detail. That presentation last week? Good job, though.” If you’ve ever delivered feedback this
way – or been on the receiving end of it – you know it doesn’t work. This approach buries the
message in pleasantries, mixes praise with criticism, and leaves everyone confused about
what matters and what needs to change. There’s a better way – and it’s all about getting
straight to the point. Forget the notorious feedback sandwich where criticism hides between
layers of praise. This mixed approach only dilutes your message and leaves your reports
wondering what you really mean. Instead, be clear about your purpose from the moment the
conversation begins. Your directness shows respect for their time and intelligence. Something
more along the lines of this: “I’ve noticed your market analysis reports lack the competitive
positioning data we need for strategy decisions.” This clarity extends to keeping positive
feedback separate. When you schedule distinct conversations for both positive and
constructive feedback, you create space for both messages to land properly. Your team
members won’t develop anxiety every time you call them into your office, wondering what
bad news is coming after the obligatory compliment. Once you’ve established this clear
framework, you need to watch your language. Using “I” messages transforms your feedback
from accusation to observation. For example, don’t say, “You’re always late with your
reports.” Instead, say, “I noticed the last three reports missed their deadlines.” The first
approach creates defensiveness. The second opens the door to collaborative problem-solving.
And when someone improves, acknowledge it. Instead of just saying “good job”, try
something like: “When you helped that new team member learn our systems, it accelerated
their productivity and demonstrated the leadership qualities we value.” Now they know
exactly what made the difference – and how it mattered. These principles build upon each
other naturally when you reinforce improvement consistently. When you acknowledge
positive changes in areas you’ve previously discussed, you create a clear cause-and-effect
relationship between your feedback and their growth. By transforming feedback from
dreaded encounters into valuable conversations, you’ll unlock your team’s potential. Done
right, it builds trust, boosts motivation, and helps people grow in real time. And that growth?
It doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Teams change. People move on. Which brings us to the next
element of leading well – managing transitions.
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Chapter 4 of 6
Manage employee transitions
You’ve cultivated team spirit, established clear expectations, and enhanced
performance through thoughtful feedback. Your team now runs smoothly. However, the
dynamic nature of teams means people will inevitably come and go. Learning to effectively
hire and fire is essential for maintaining your team’s excellence over time. Good hiring
begins long before the interview stage. Start by thoroughly analyzing the position through
conversations with those who understand it best. Ask them about critical situations or
challenges that someone in this role typically faces. These insights will illuminate the truly
necessary attributes, experiences, and behaviors required for success, beyond what might
appear on a typical job description. With that clarity, you can now define your hiring criteria.
Separate the must-haves from the nice-to-haves. Then, write compelling job descriptions and
recruitment strategies that attract the right candidates – not the most. Focus on people whose
values and working styles fit the team. During interviews, employ behavior description
techniques that reveal past actions rather than hypothetical responses. For example, if you
ask, “Tell me about a time when you had to deliver with limited resources,” you gain insight
into how candidates actually perform under pressure. Letting someone go is harder – but it
needs the same care. Before proceeding, carefully evaluate whether termination is truly
necessary or if performance issues might be addressed through targeted coaching and support.
Many managers rush toward termination when development might salvage both the situation
and a potentially valuable team member. If you’ve done that work and the problem remains,
documentation matters. Keep clear records of performance issues, missed goals, or policy
violations. This documentation protects everyone involved and grounds the difficult decision
in objective facts rather than subjective feelings. Finally, manage the termination process with
sensitivity while monitoring its ripple effects throughout your team. Address concerns openly
while respecting the departed employee’s privacy and dignity. A poorly handled termination
can fracture trust across your entire team, while a respectful one, though never easy,
demonstrates your commitment to maintaining standards while treating people humanely.
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Chapter 5 of 6
Managing happens in all directions
Unless you’ve been promoted straight to CEO – kudos if you have – you’ll need to
manage more than just your direct reports. Managing sideways and upwards is equally
important for your success. Sideways means working with peer managers from other
departments who rely on your team’s cooperation. You might coordinate with marketing on
product launches, align with finance on budgets, and collaborate with IT on system upgrades
affecting your workflow. These partnerships require skillful negotiation, especially when
priorities compete. Looking upward, senior managers evaluate your performance, allocate
resources, and make decisions affecting your team. Your boss likely faces pressure from their
own manager, creating expectations that cascade to you. To manage these relationships well,
start by clarifying expectations. Ask your manager directly about priorities for your
performance areas. Schedule a focused conversation to discuss not just what needs doing, but
how success will be measured. You should also ask which projects should take priority when
time constraints emerge. Such early conversations prevent the frustration of discovering
misaligned expectations during reviews. As you work with your manager, follow four golden
rules that successful managers live by. First, no surprises ever – keep your boss informed
ahead of time about developments, good or bad. Second, never hide problems – transparency
builds trust even when sharing difficulties. Third, always do your homework – come prepared
with data and options. Fourth, don’t undercut your manager – support their decisions publicly
even when you’ve disagreed privately. Understanding how your manager works is part of
your job. Notice if they prefer big-picture thinking or detailed analysis, morning meetings or
afternoon decisions. When your styles differ, adapt thoughtfully. If they want brief updates
while you prefer comprehensive reports, create concise summaries with detailed appendices.
By managing effectively in all directions – not just downward – you’ll build the support
network and influence needed for both personal success and team achievement. But even
when every relationship around you is working well, there’s one you still need to manage
carefully – your relationship with yourself.
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Chapter 6 of 6
Remember to manage yourself
Let’s meet Elena. She’s a marketing manager with a big problem. Her team
consistently delivers outstanding campaigns. She’s built strong relationships with other
department heads. Her boss showcases her work to senior leadership. By all external
measures, Elena exemplifies management success. Have you spotted the problem yet? But
here’s what you don’t see right away. Elena checks email at midnight, cancels vacations
repeatedly, and deals with constant headaches. Last week, she missed her daughter’s recital to
fix a client issue her team could have handled. This morning, she snapped at a colleague over
a minor miscommunication. She manages everything – except herself. New managers fall
into this trap all the time. A good starting point is to track your work hours honestly – not just
the time you spend in meetings or at your desk, but those constant little check-ins that quietly
extend your workday. Noticing the pattern is the first step to changing it. With this awareness,
you can start to set meaningful boundaries you’ll actually follow. Establish when you’ll be
unavailable and actually honor these limits. Turn off notifications during personal time and
communicate these boundaries clearly to your team. These limits not only protect your well-
being but also model healthy work habits for your colleagues. Despite good boundaries,
stress is an inevitable part of management. So, learn to recognize your personal warning signs
– these could be disrupted sleep, physical tension, or difficulty concentrating. When these
signals appear, take immediate action rather than pushing through. Even short breaks can
reset your mental state and prevent unnecessary conflicts. Effective delegation complements
these self-care practices. Identify your team members’ strengths, assign appropriate tasks, and
provide necessary resources – then trust them to deliver. This shift from doing to enabling
requires regular, proactive communication about capacity and workload before crisis points
emerge. With your time protected through delegation and clear boundaries, you can focus on
distinguishing between urgent and important work. Schedule dedicated time for strategic
thinking and professional development – activities that are rarely urgent but always important
for long-term success. By managing yourself with the same care you bring to managing
others, you’ll build a foundation for lasting success that benefits both you and your
organization.
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Conclusion
Final summary
In this Blink to What to Do When You Become the Boss by Bob Selden, you’ve
learned that becoming a successful manager requires mastering the balance between tasks and
relationships while navigating challenges in every direction—downward, upward, and
inward. You now understand the importance of building a cohesive team by assessing
dynamics and aligning individual goals with group objectives. Clear expectations and
structured feedback are key to unlocking performance, while thoughtful hiring and
compassionate transitions maintain team excellence. Managing sideways and upward is just
as critical as leading your own team, requiring adaptability and proactive communication.
Finally, self-management – setting boundaries, delegating effectively, and prioritizing well-
being – ensures you sustain success without burnout. By applying these principles, you’ll
create a thriving environment where both you and your team can excel.

About the author

Bob Selden is a management consultant and author who specializes in leadership