Chapter 9

From Introductions to Conclusions

Drafting your introduction
Your introduction is your first point of contact with your
readers, so you want to make a good initial impression.
To do this, you need to:
 give your readers an overview of what your essay is
going to argue and how it is going to develop. This will
act as a guide for them to follow as they read on through
the body of the essay.
 produce a well-written introduction which helps your
readers to make sense of how the information and
arguments will develop.
 make sure your introduction is consistent with the rest of
your essay. If it is not, your readers will become
confused and may not be convinced by your arguments.
Typical components of an
introduction
A well-written essay introduction contains
at least three components:
 an orientation
 a purpose statement
 a thesis statement
 An overview
Notes: It is good practice to include a fourth
component – an abstract – but this is
sometimes omitted in shorter essays
(around 1500-2000 words).
Typical components of an
introduction
Component Function
Orientation to the topic To provide the reader with the
general background to, or the
context of, the essay topic.

Aim/purpose statement To state the purpose of the

essay.

Thesis statement To state the position that will be

argued or the proposition that
will be debated.

Overview To preview the stages through

which the essay and its
arguments will develop.
5 strategies for drafting
introductions

1.Use an introverted triangle

2.Begin with a narrative
3.Ask a question that you will answer
4.Present a paradox
5.Mind the gap
Use an inverted triangle
An inverted triangle introduction begins with a
general statement of the topic and then
narrows with a focus, ending with the point of
the paragraph- the writer’s thesis.
Example:
Athletes need to be skilled to excel. In particular,
basketball players must be athletically gifted to
stand out on the court. Throughout the years,
many talented stars have played for the Boston
Celtics. Of all former and current Celtics, Bill
Russell is the best because of his shot-blocking
rebounds, and superior defensive moves.
Begin with a narrative
A narrative introduction helps coax readers into a topic
by beginning with a story.
 Joe Stevens was finally ready to purchase a home. He spent
years putting money into a savings account, paid off his
credit cards, and diligently paid every bill on time. Confident
of his good credit rating, Joe visited the bank to inquire about
a mortgage, but he discovered startling information: Joe
defaulted on a home loan, had $40,000 in credit card debt,
and had a car repossessed for lack of payment. Joe Stevens,
like many Americans, is a victim of identity theft. Instead of
preparing to move into a new home, Joe began the long
journey to restore his good name and to reclaim his identity.
Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions
of innocent victims, and the government must
implement better regulations to help put an end to
this crime.
Ask a question
An interrogative introduction invites readers into your
essay by asking a question which entices them to read
on to discover how your insight shed light on the
issue.
Example: How would you feel if you knew, at this
moment, that some criminal is writing your name,
address, and Social Security number on credit card
applications and plans to charge thousands of dollars
worth of merchandise on those credit cards? More
importantly, how do you know that this is not happening?
Millions of people have become victims of identity theft,
and they often find out only after thousands of dollars
have been stolen using their names. Identity theft is a
serious problem that claims millions of innocent
victims, and the government must implement
better regulations to help put an end to this crime.
Use a paradox
A paradoxical introduction appeals to readers’
curiosity by pointing out an aspect of the topic
which runs counter to their expectations.
By 1959 Vladimir Nabokov’s
novel Lolita had been banned in several
cities as pornographic. Today it is required
reading not only in literature courses but
also in philosophy courses that explore
the nature of love. Since its publication,
the novel’s subject has been recognized
to be love, not lust; art, not perversion.
Mind the gap
A minding-the-gap introduction calls readers’ attention
to a gap in the research on an issue and then use the
rest of the essay to fill in the “gap”.
If America is truly a “melting pot” of culture, then why
is it that stories and events seem only to be in black
and white? Why is it that when history courses are
taught about the period of the civil rights movement,
only the memoir of African Americans are read? Where
are the works of Maxine Hong Kingston, who tells the
story of alienation and segregation through the eyes of
a Chinese girl? I am not diminishing the issue of
discrimination against African Americans. I simply want
to call attention to discrimination against other
minority groups and their often-overlooked struggles to
achieve equality.
Developing paragraphs
Developing paragraphs
The paragraph is the basic unit for
organising information in your writing. If
you write well-constructed
paragraphs, then the reader/marker will
be able to understand what it is that you
are trying to explain. If you write poorly
constructed paragraphs, then the
marker has to go on a 'treasure hunt' to
find information—the perfect recipe for
losing those valuable marks.
Well-constructed paragraphs
The topic sentence: usually appears at the
beginning of the paragraph, states the
main idea of the paragraph, and indicates
how the paragraph will be developed.
Supporting sentences develop the main
idea in the topic sentence.
The concluding sentence: optional
Writing a good paragraph
Use a topic sentence to focus your
paragraph
Create unity in the paragraph by making
sure the details follow logically from the
topic sentence and maintain a single focus,
which ties closely with the thesis and by
using repetition and transition words.
Support the topic sentence by using
examples and illustrations, using sources,
analyze texts; make comparisons, examine
causes and evaluate consequences, etc.
Topic sentence
A good topic sentence should:
1.Provide a partial answer to the question
motivating the writer.
2.Act as an extension of the writer’s thesis
and the question motivating the writer’s
argument.
3.Serve as a guidepost, telling readers what
the paragraph is about.
4.Help create unity and coherence both
within the paragraph and within the essay.
What do you think about
these paragraphs?
Assignment essay tasks are set to assist
students to develop mastery of their study
subject. Firstly, assignment tasks enhance
understandings about subject matter. Yang and Baker
(2005, p. 1) reason that "to master your learning
materials and extend your understandings, you need
to write about the meanings you gain from your
research". Secondly, research (Jinx, 2004; Zapper,
2006) clearly demonstrates that students learn the
writing conventions of a subject area while they are
researching, reading and writing in their discipline. This
activity helps them to "crack the code" of the discipline
(Bloggs, 2003, p. 44). Thus, students are learning
subject matter and how to write in that disciplinary
area by researching and writing assignment essays.
UV intensity is not the most important factor in
skin cancer fatalities. While residents of Colorado
(mean elevation of 2.1 km) have always been subjected
to the highest UV intensities in the United States,
Colorado has one of the lowest skin cancer fatality
rates of all the states. In contrast, New England, which
has much lower UV intensities has a death rate from
skin cancer 25% higher than it is in Colorado. In
addition, although equatorial regions have higher UV
intensities, the lowest reported skin cancer deathrates
in the world come from Mauritius (0.2 per 100,000) and
Nicaragua (0.2 per 100,000). On the other hand,
Ireland (2.64 per 100,000) has the world’s third highest
rate. Evidence is strong that UV intensity is not the
principal factor in determining the skin cancer death
rate. Genetic factors, skin pigmentation, behavioural
characteristics, medical facilities, broad straw hats, and
sun screen lotion all have some influence on skin
cancer fatalities.
Drafting the conclusion
An effective conclusion makes a final appeal to
the readers:
Convinces readers that what you have written
is a relevant, meaningful interpretation of a
shared issue.
Reminds them your argument is reasonable by
pulling together the key components of your
argument, establishing why your argument is
important: what will happen if things stay the
same and what will happen if things change;
making them feel that you have made clear
what’s significant and of value.
Drafting the conclusion
Five strategies for conclusion
writing (
Pull together the main claims of your essay
Answer the question “so what” by showing why
your viewpoint on the issue is significant.
Place your argument in a larger context by
discussing the specifics of your argument and
indicating its broader implications.
Show readers what is new by explaining how your
argument builds on, extends, or challenges the
thinking of others.
Decide on the best strategy for writing your
conclusion: echoing the introduction 2)
challenge the readers 3)look to the future? 4)
Pose questions 5) conclude with a quotation?
Analyzing conclusions
Essay question:
Some students who enroll in
university studies have difficulties
with their writing skills. Discuss the
reasons for this problem and
critically assess the effectiveness
of university intervention writing
programs.
Analyzing conclusions
All students deserve a chance to be successful in
their studies and responsible universities must
respond to student needs so that they graduate
well-educated students of the highest standard,
now and in the future. The main causes of student
difficulty appear to be that secondary school
assessment has a different focus from university
expectations and that universities are increasingly
attracting mature age students who may require an
update on their skills. In response, universities
invest considerable capital into well-run programs
that effectively assist students to overcome their
writing problems. To conclude, university students
who are experiencing difficulty with their academic
writing skills will require assistance to reach their
academic potential.
 Analyzing conclusions
To conclude, university students who are
experiencing difficulty with their academic writing
skills will require assistance to reach their academic
potential. The main causes of student difficulty
appear to be that secondary school assessment has a
different focus from university expectations and that
universities are increasingly attracting mature age
students who may require an update on their skills. In
response, universities invest considerable capital into
well-run programs that effectively assist students to
overcome their writing problems. All students
deserve a chance to be successful in their studies
and responsible universities must respond to student
needs so that they graduate well-educated students
of the highest standard, now and in the future.
Practice session
Continue your work on thesis
writing. Then, choose 1 working
thesis and formulate an outline for
it.