Chapter 3

Organizing and Drafting

Business Messages

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 3-1
Drafting Workplace Messages Begins
With Research

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3-1 Drafting Workplace Messages Begins With Research
The 3-x-3 Writing Process

Prewriting Drafting Revising

• Analyze: Decide on the • Research: Gather • Edit: Strive for

message purpose. background data by parallelism, clarity,
searching files and the conciseness, and
• Anticipate: How will the readability.
Internet.
audience receive this
message? • Organize: Arrange direct • Proofread: Check
messages with the big carefully for errors.
• Adapt: Think about
idea first.
techniques to present this • Evaluate: Will this
message most effectively. • Draft: Prepare the first message achieve your
draft. purpose?
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3-1 Drafting Workplace Messages Begins With Research
3-1a The Writing Process Begins With Background Information
• Research: collecting information about a topic.
− What does the receiver need to
know about this topic?
− What does the receiver do?
− How does the receiver do it?
− When must the receiver do it?
− What will happen if the receiver
doesn’t do it?
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3-1 Drafting Workplace Messages Begins With Research
3-1b Informal Research
• Such as drafting e-mails, memos, letters, informational reports,
and oral presentations
• The following techniques are useful in informal research:
− Search your company’s files.
− Talk with the boss.
− Interview the target audience.
− Create an informal survey.
− Brainstorm for ideas.
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3-1 Drafting Workplace Messages Begins With Research

3-1c Formal Research

• Long reports and proposals : using primary or secondary sources
• Primary sources (Primary data) come from firsthand experience
(from surveys, interviews, observation, and experimentation)

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3-1 Drafting Workplace Messages Begins With Research

• Secondary sources:
− Secondary data: reading what others have experienced or
observed/written about (books, magazines, journals, online
resources)
− Conducting research begin with secondary sources.

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 Idea-generating methods
• Brainstorming (the spontaneous contribution of ideas by team
members)
• Mind mapping (process for generating and sorting ideas):
emphasizes visual concepts, beginning with a single concept
drawn as an image in the center 🡪 associated words and
images branch out treelike showing the relationship between
the ideas and the central concept.

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 3-2
Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships

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3-2 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
3-2a Creating Lists and Outlines
• To develop simple messages, some writers make a quick scratch
list of the topics they wish to cover.
• Next they compose a message directly from the scratch list.
• Most writers, though, need to organize their ideas—especially if
the project is complex—into a hierarchy, such as an outline.

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 3-2 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
3-2b Typical Document Components (page 65, 66)

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3-2b Typical Document Components (page 65, 66)

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 3-2 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships

3-2c Structuring Ideas Into Strategies

• Two organizational strategies provide plans of action for typical
business messages:
− In the direct strategy, the main idea comes first, followed by
details, explanation, or evidence.
− In the indirect strategy, the main idea follows the details,
explanation, and evidence.

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 3-2 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
3-2c Structuring Ideas Into Strategies

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 3-2 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
3-2c Structuring Ideas Into Strategies

• Direct method (frontloading) - 3 advantages:

− Saves the reader’s time
− Sets a proper frame of mind (learn the purpose)
− Reduces frustration
• Typical business messages: routine requests and responses,
orders and acknowledgments, nonsensitive memos, e-mails,
informational reports, and informational oral presentations.

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3-2c Structuring Ideas Into Strategies
• Indirect strategy: expect the audience to be uninterested,
unwilling, displeased, or perhaps even hostile (reveal the main
idea only after you have offered an explanation and evidence)
• 3 kinds of messages: bad news, ideas that require persuasion,
sensitive news.
• 3 Benefits:
− Respects the feelings of the audience.
− Facilitates a fair hearing.
− Minimizes a negative reaction (news is delivered gently)
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3-2c Structuring Ideas Into Strategies
• Business messages that could be developed indirectly:
e-mails, memos, letters that refuse requests, deny
claims…
• Persuasive requests, sales letters, sensitive messages,
some reports, oral presentations

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 Page 67

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 3-3
Writing a First Draft With Powerful Sentences

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 3-3 Writing a First Draft With Powerful Sentences
• To overcome writers block:
− Organize your ideas and work from an outline.
− Create a quiet environment in which to concentrate.
− Think about what writing style fits you best.
• Freewriting: getting your thoughts down quickly and refining
them in later versions.

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 3-3 Writing a First Draft With Powerful Sentences

3-3a Adding Interest and Variety With Four Sentence Types

(page 68, 69)
− A simple sentence contains one complete thought (an
independent clause) with a subject and predicate verb:
▪"Our company lacked a social media presence."

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− A Compound Sentence contains two complete but related
thoughts.
− They may be joined by (a) a conjunction such as "and," "but," or
"or"; (b) a semicolon; or (c) a conjunctive adverb such as
"however," "consequently," and "therefore":
▪"Our company lacked a social media presence, and it hired a
specialist."
▪"Our company lacked a social media presence; it hired a
specialist."
▪"Our company lacked a social media presence; therefore, it
hired a specialist."

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− A complex sentence contains an independent clause (a
complete thought) and a dependent clause (a thought that
cannot stand by itself).
− Dependent clauses are often introduced by words such as
"although," "since," "because," "when," and "if."
− When dependent clauses precede independent clauses, they
always are followed by a comma:
▪"Because our company lacked a social media presence, it
hired a specialist."

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− A compound-complex sentence contains at least two independent
clauses and one dependent clause.
▪"Because our company lacked a social media presence, it
hired a specialist; however, our brand required time to build."

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 3-3 Writing a First Draft With Powerful Sentences

3-3b Avoiding Three Common Sentence Faults (page 69, 70)

− A fragment is usually a broken-off part of a complex sentence.
− Fragments often can be identified by the words that introduce
them—words such as "although," "as," "because," "even,"
"except," "for example," "if," "instead of," "since," "such as,"
"that," "which," and "when."

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− A run-on sentence, also called a fused sentence, is a sentence
error that results when two independent clauses are incorrectly
joined (fused) together without a conjunction or a semicolon.
− A comma splice is a sentence error that results when a writer
joins two independent clauses with a comma.

- Run-on sentence: là lỗi giữa 2 câu độc lập k có dấu câu ngăn cách: VD: My brother
turned off the computer and all the lights then he left the room.
=> sửa: ... the lights. Then ...
- Comma spilce: là lỗi sd cấu phẩy sai: VD: My brother turned off the computer and all
the lights, then he left the room.
=> sửa: ... the lights./; then... Refer to examples on page 69

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 3-3c Choosing short sentences
• Form sentences that average 20 words.
• The American Press Institute established that reader
comprehension drops off markedly as sentences become longer.
Sentence Length Comprehension Rate

8 words 100%
15 words 90%
19 words 80%
28 words 50%

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 3-4
Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)

3-4a Creating Emphasis

• Emphasis in writing can be achieved in two ways: mechanically
and stylistically.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)
• To achieve emphasis through mechanics:
− Underlining liên quan đến design chữ để nhấn mạnh

− Italics and boldface

− Font changes
− All caps
− Dashes
− Tabulation
• Other means of achieving mechanical emphasis: arrangement of
space, color, lines, boxes, columns, titles, headings, subheadings.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)
liên quan đến cách truyền đặt ttin để nhấn mạnh
• To achieve emphasis stylistically (pp. 71-72):
− Use vivid, not general, words.
− Label the main idea.
− Place the important idea first or last.
− Place the main idea in a simple sentence or in an independent
clause.
(Read the examples in your book)

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)
• De-Emphasizing When Necessary.
− Use general words.
− Subordinate the bad news.
▪Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an
independent clause that contains something positive.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)
3-4b Using the Active and Passive Voice Effectively
• In the active voice, the subject (also called the actor) performs the action.
• In the passive voice, the subject receives the action.
• Active-voice sentences are usually shorter, easier to understand and more
direct because they reveal the performer immediately.
• Passive voice can be useful to (a) emphasize an action rather than a person,
(b) de-emphasize negative news, and (c) conceal the doer of an action.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)

Active Voice Passive Voice

• Madison must submit a tax return. • The tax return was submitted [by
Madison].
• Officials reviewed all tax returns.
• All tax returns were reviewed [by
• We cannot make cash refunds.
officials].
• Our CPA made a big error in the • Cash refunds cannot be made.
budget.
• A big error was made in the budget.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (pp. 71- 73)
3-4c Creating Parallelism
• Parallelism is a writing technique that produces balanced writing.
• Sentences written so that their parts are balanced, or parallel, are easy to read
and understand.
• To achieve parallel construction:
− Use similar structures to express similar ideas.
− Try to match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and clauses with clauses.
− Avoid mixing active-voice verbs with passive-voice verbs.

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (8 of 9)
3-4d Dodging Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
bổ ngữ lơ lửng
• A dangling modifier occurs when the word or phrase it
describes is missing from its sentence.
− "Driving through Malibu Canyon, the ocean came into view."
cụm bổ nghĩa không rõ ràng
• A misplaced modifier occurs when the word or phrase it
describes is not close enough to be clear.
− "Firefighters rescued a dog from a burning car that had a
broken leg."

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3-4 Mastering Four Helpful Writing Techniques (9 of 9)
• Be sure to follow introductory verbal phrases immediately with
the words they logically describe or modify.
• Try this trick for detecting and remedying many dangling
modifiers.
− Ask the question "Who?" or "What?" after any introductory
phrase.
− The words immediately following should tell the reader who or
what is performing the action.

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 3-5
Building Well-Organized Paragraphs

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 3-5 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs (1 of 6)

• A paragraph is a group of sentences about one idea.

• The following types of sentences may be organized to express
ideas in a well-organized paragraph:
− Topic sentence: Expresses the primary idea of the paragraph;
often, but not always, comes first in a paragraph.
− Supporting sentences: Illustrate, explain, or strengthen the
primary idea.

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 3-5 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs (2 of 6)

3-5a Crafting Topic Sentences

• A paragraph is unified when it develops a single main idea:
− Business writers: the topic sentence first in the paragraph
− Purpose: what to expect and helps readers understand the
paragraph’s central thought immediately

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 3-5 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs (3 of 6)

3-5b Developing Supporting Sentences

• Illustrate, explain, or strengthen the topic sentence.
• All support sentences in the paragraph must relate to the topic
sentence.
• Supporting sentences provide specific details, explanations,
and evidence.

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 3-5 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs (4 of 6)

3-5c Creating Paragraph Coherence (p. 75)

− Sustaining the Key Idea: Repeating a key expression or
using a similar one throughout a paragraph helps sustain a
key idea.

Our philosophy holds that every customer is really a guest. All new
employees are trained to treat guests in our theme parks as VIPs.
We take great pride in respecting our guests. As VIPs, they are
never told what they can or cannot do.

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− Dovetailing Sentences: Sentences are dovetailed when an idea
at the end of one connects with an idea at the beginning of the
next.

New hosts and hostesses learn about the theme park and its
facilities. These facilities include telephones, food services,
bathrooms, and attractions, as well as the location of offices.
Knowledge of offices and the internal workings of the company is
required of all staffers.

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− Including Pronouns: "we," "they," "he," "she," and "it," help build
continuity, as do demonstrative pronouns, such as "this," "that,"
"these," and "those."
− Employing Transitional Expressions

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 3-5 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs (6 of 6)

Controlling Paragraph Length

• Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting.
• If a topic can’t be covered in eight or fewer printed lines (not
sentences), consider breaking it into smaller segments.

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