How to Speak Like a Business School Grad

360-degree view 1. (n.) Why you tell yourself the penthouse is worth it. 2. Complicated way of saying a thorough analysis, usually of customers

30,000-ft. view 1. (n.) What you see skydiving. 2. Taking a broad perspective on a problem without going into detailsthe people on the ground look like ants anyhow.

Actionable 1. (adj.) An offense that could get you sued. 2. Ready. Are those deliverables actionable? (See Deliverable.)

Bandwidth 1. (n.) Amount of information that can be downloaded in a certain amount of time, and something we need to increase to watch more cute kitten clips on YouTube. 2. Resources necessary to complete a project.

Best practice 1. (n.) That time during rehearsal when the band sounded AWESOME. 2. Technique or method considered superior for consistently achieving the desired result.

Blue ocean 1. (n.) The view from your house in the Hamptons or Malibu. 2. Uncontested market with new business opportunities.

Caveat 1. (v.) A Latin verb, usually used before the word emptor. 2. A way to warn against bad news. I want to caveat our deliverables. (See Deliverable below.)

C-level 1. (adj.) In school, C is barely passing, below a grade of A or B. 2. In business, C describes a companys chief managers.

Cannibalize 1. (v.) Missionary. Its whats for dinner. 2. To decrease demand for an existing product by introducing a similar new product.

Core competency 1. (n.) The one thing you dont screw up. 2. Area in which a company excels (screwing up does NOT count) that cannot be easily mimicked.

Decision tree 1. (n.) Worst holiday decoration. Ever. 2. Business owners version of Chose Your Own Adventure that maps out the outcome of different decisions.

Deliverable 1. (adj.) Capable of being sent by FedEx. 2. (n.) Task that must be completed under the terms of an agreement.

Delta 1. (n.) Major U.S. airline that scored second-to-last in recent customer satisfaction survey. 2. Problem with more than two sides.

Exit strategy 1. (n.) Verifying location of the fire doors in a theater before the show starts. 2. How a business owner and entrepreneur gets out of an investment

First mover 1. (n.) Very forward person on a date. 2. First company to enter a market or industry.

Free rider 1. (n.) Rapper Flo Ridas cheap cousin. 2. Those who enjoy resources paid for by others.

Game changer 1. (n.) To sports fans, a TV remote control. 2. Visionary person, company, or product that revolutionizes the way business is done.

Home run 1. (n.) What your favorite baseball team needs more of. 2. Great success.

Invisible hand 1. (n.) Forensic labs worst nightmare. 2. Force guiding the free market.

Lean 1. (adj.) Least-fattening kind of bacon. 2. Business management strategy that emphasizes customer value while minimizing waste. (See Six Sigma.)

Leverage 1. (n.) Something the Democratic Party recently has none of. 2. (v.) To take advantage of-especially proper English grammar.

Low hanging fruit 1. (n.) What to pick in an apple orchard. 2. Easiest work or opportunity that can be undertaken quickly.

Market penetration 1. (n) Act of fighting your way into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving. 2. Share of total potential customers reached.

Mindshare 1. (n.) Telepathic alternative to stock share. 2. Consumer awareness of a brand or product.

Monetize 1. (v.) To reinterpret from the perspective of a French Impressionist. 2. To turn something into a money-making asset

Offline 1. (adj.) For Twitter addicts, a state of torture. 2. (adv.) In private.

Paradigm shift 1. (n.) Update on The Electric Slide. 2. Dramatic change in how things are done or thought of.

Perfect Storm 1. (n.) George Clooney movie released in 2000. 2. Disastrous event caused by combination of several factors.

ROI 1. (n.) The French word for king. 2. Abbr. for return on investment, a way to measure the benefit of an investment.

Scope creep (n) 1. Pervert with a telescope. 2. When the limits of a project expand without changing the schedule or budget.

Silo 1. (n.) Place to store corn. 2. Reason no one in the company ever knows whats going on.

Six Sigma 1. (n.) Loser fraternity that couldnt get even seven members. 2. A business management strategy developed by Motorola in 1986.

Stakeholder (n) 1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 2. Umbrella term referring to anyone with an interest in a company or project including investors, employees, customers, suppliers, government, and the community.

STP 1. (n.) Popular motor oil. 2. Abbr. for Segmentation, Targeting, and Positioning, a process used to develop marketing strategy.

Synergy 1. (n.) Clergy members who are sinners. 2. Benefit or value achieved by bringing together parties that would not be possible individually.

Triple bottom line 1. (n.) Pants size at Big & Tall stores. 2. Way of measuring organizational performance that includes people, planet, and profit.

Take-away 1. (n.) Food delivered to a home or office in the U.K. 2. The few things you needed to learn during that torturous three-hour meeting.

Take a deep dive 1. (n.) Something not to do in the kiddie pool. 2. (v.) To review extensively.

Transparency 1. (n.) Quality describing most of Lady Gagas wardrobe. 2. What most companies financial disclosures lack.

Value add 1. (n.) Providing a benefit. 2. ...unintentionally.

Value proposition 1. (n.) What the Hollywood agent made to the ingnue. 2. Statement of why a consumer will benefit more from a companys product or service than from similar offerings

Vertical 1. (n.) How rock climbers see the world. 2. Referring to a specific business area or market.

Win-win-win 1. (n.) Chant used by uncreative sports fans. 2. When three parties benefit from a situation.