Descriptive Writing

11 English Language Acquisition

Objectives

• By the end of the unit, you will be able to…

– write a clear and coherent 4 paragraph descriptive essay with a clear
description of people, places, objects, memories or events, using the right
technique, relevant descriptive details, and appropriate structures.

– use precise words and phrases, relevant descriptive details, and sensory
language to help the reader draw a picture in their minds.
What is Descriptive Writing

Descriptive Writing…
• the clear description of people, places, memories
objects, or events using appropriate details. An effective
description will contain many examples of details to
communicate a sense of the what you are describing.

• Descriptive writing is a unique kind of essay, as it lets

the reader recognize sights, smells, sounds, textures,
and tastes. Using description in your writing brings the
world within your text to your reader.
www.iup.edu
What is Descriptive Writing

Descriptive writing is like painting a picture using powerful, vivid words

What is Descriptive Writing? SHOW, don’t just tell

Show = Paint Tell = Quick Sketch

As the footsteps tapped closer and Jack was afraid.
closer, Jack felt his stomach
muscles tighten. He flattened
himself to the wall, the gritty bricks
against his cheek. Sweat chilled his
palms. He used both hands to
steady the gun.
What is Descriptive Writing? SHOW, don’t just tell

Show = Paint Tell = Quick Sketch

Brenda slammed her dresser drawer Dave thought Brenda was acting
shut and spun around, her hands secretive.
hidden behind her back. Her lips
jerked into a stiff smile. “Dave! I-I
thought you wouldn’t be home until
six o’clock.”
What is Descriptive Writing? SHOW, don’t just tell

Show = Paint Tell = Quick Sketch

Mushrooms and pepperoni sausages The pizza was delicious.
were layered thickly on top of one
another while the white mozzarella
cheese bubbled over the bright red
tomato sauce.
What is Descriptive Writing? SHOW, don’t just tell

Your Turn!
What is Descriptive Writing?

Using……………..
– Descriptive adjectives and exact verbs

– Sensory details (sight, smell, taste, touch/texture, hear)

– Figurative Language
• Simile
• Hyperbole
• Alliteration
• Metaphor
• Personification
• Onomatopoeia
• Oxymoron

to describe a person, place, or thing.

-- We are going to use simile, hyperbole, metaphor, personification and onomatopoeia.
Examples of Descriptive Adjectives & Exact
Verbs

Descriptive Adjectives Exact Verbs

• Adjectives • talk (whisper, chat, mutter)
Describe • yell (shriek, scream, bellow)
Just nouns to make them • jump (leap, hop, bound)
Exquisite,
• eat (gobble, nibble, taste)
Curly,
Tedious, • see (peer, spy, witness)
Interesting, • close (latch, block, bolt)
Vivid, • laugh (giggle, snicker, chuckle)
Exact,
Special.
Using Descriptive Adjectives & Exact Verbs

Descriptive Adjectives used in a sentence Exact Verbs used in a sentence

“Neddy Gnathic sat tuxedoed at a • “Celestina slammed the door,

lacquered black piano, sprinkling pressed the lock button in the
knob, shoved-rocked-
diamond-bright notes through an muscled the dresser in front of
elegant room.” the door, astonished by her
own strength…’”
Dean Koontz, Dean Koontz
From the Corner of His Eye From the Corner
of His Eye
 Using Sensory Details
When choosing your adjectives and verbs, vary your examples by thinking about all five senses.

Hear - earsplitting or placid

melodious or harsh
agreeable or dreadful
traffic, honking horns

Taste- sweet, bitter, burning, spicy, bland

Giant goose bumps formed on my tongue when I accidently bit into a sliver of lemon.

Smell - sugary or acerbic (sour)

satisfying or repulsive (foul)
aromatic or fetid (foul)
the aroma of freshly brewed coffee

Touch/texture- rigid, elastic (soft), course (rough), downy (smooth)

scorching, freezing, parched,
greasy, clammy (sticky)
The texture of the adobe hut’s walls resembled coarse sandpaper

Sight (see)-use the THESAURUS to look up different ways of describing

colors, shapes, sizes, and patterns
What is Figurative Language?

• Defined
– Words or phrases that are used to add to the effect of describing
something. It could refer to making comparisons, repeating sounds,
exaggerating, or giving human qualities to objects or animals.

• Why do we use figurative language in descriptive writing?

– Adjectives and verbs help us to “draw a picture”, but they cannot fully
paint the picture with captivating details.
– Figurative Language can make your writing COME TO LIFE, ANIMATED,
or even BE DRAMATIC!
Using Figurative Language

Simile
A rich way to add emotion and imagery to writing
Used to compare two unlike objects using “like” or “as”
Examples using “like”
___________ fought like cats and dogs. ___________smelled like stinky
feet.

Examples using “as”

_________ is as active as a bee. ____________as parched as a
bone.
_________is as valiant as a lion. ____________is as simple as
shooting fish in a barrel.
_________is as hilarious as a barrel of monkeys.
Using Figurative Language

Hyperbole - an outrageous exaggeration that emphasizes a point,

and can be ridiculous or funny.

Examples
Tom snores louder than a freight train.
She had to walk a thousand miles to school in the snow, uphill.
He could have knocked her over with a feather.
Your room is so chaotic; it is as if a tornado hit it.
Using Figurative Language

Metaphor
a comparison between two unlike things WITHOUT using “like” or “as”
Use a “to be” verb to directly state the comparison.

Examples
The house was an oven when the air conditioner broke in July.

The airplane is an enormous tin can.

Using Figurative Language

Personification - gives human characteristics to

inanimate objects, animals, or ideas

Examples
The jack o’ lantern smiled spookily at me from the top of
the steps.
The sun greeted me this morning.
The sky was full of dancing stars.
The vines wove their fingers together to form a braid.
The radio stopped singing and stared at me.
The sun played hide and seek with the clouds.
The sun scattered tiny diamonds across dew-covered grass as
it peeked out from beyond the horizon.
Using Figurative Language

Onomatopoeia - use of words that sound like their meaning or mimic

sounds

Examples

The words: beep, whirr, click, whoosh,

swish, zap, zing, ping, clang, bong,
hum, boom, munch, gobble, crunch,
pow, smash, wham, quack, meow,
oink, and tweet.
ESSAY TIME!!!

Now, let’s start the essay!

Write a descriptive essay using the following
image:
 Considerations

Before you start writing, decide on the following aspects:

•A dominant impression
–Give one, main feeling or idea
•Point of View (POV)
–Be one of the characters on the picture or a third person
•An objective or subjective view
–Give only facts, or facts and your personal feelings
•A clear organizational order
–Use spatial order, order of importance, time order, or order of impression
 Objective vs. Subjective
• A descriptive essay can be objective or subjective. Which
view you choose will effect the mood, word choice, and
attitude of your essay.

• An objective description of one's dog would mention such

facts as height, weight, coloring and so forth.

• A subjective description would include the above details, but

would also stress the author's feeling toward the dog, as well
as its personality and habits.
 What’s a dominant impression?

• A descriptive essay has one, clear dominant impression. If,

for example you are describing a snowfall, it is important
for you to decide and let your reader know if you think it is
threatening or lovely; in order to have one dominant
impression it cannot be both.

• Focusing on the dominant impression you want to make

will help you choose your details. It should also be stated
or conveyed clearly in your thesis statement.
 What is your Point of View? (POV)

• Your point of view means who are you in relation to the

description. (1st/3rd person)
–E.g. Are you one of the characters/object in the scene/ image? Or
are you a 3rd person observing the scene?

–Your POV will affect your sensory details (What you see/ feel/ hear/
taste…) & perhaps the organization order.
 Organizational Order
• Spatial order
–Left to right, right to left, top to bottom, bottom to top, back to front, front to back, etc.
–Prepositions: next to, against, over/above, below/under, in front of, behind, halfway between, etc.

• Order of importance/ Climactic order

–Least important to most important or most important to least important
–Transitions: most importantly, best of all, still worse, even more expensive, occasionally, often, etc.

• Time order
–Start to finish; before, during, and after
–Prepositions: first, next, later, finally, as soon as, afterwards, etc.

• Order of impression
–What you notice first, second, third, etc.
–Transitions: First, second, then, next, after that, in the end, etc.
Drafting - Introduction

Attention Getter (Hook)

Attention Getter - Get your readers “hooked” into your essay immediately!
Background information (Who or Where?)
Set the scene - A gentle breeze blew as the children gazed upon the sparkling
water. The sunlight warmed them. It was one of those bright, warm days that
kids dream of all winter long. (More examples on Further Slides).
Thesis
This sentence will serve as the central idea of what will your essay be
about. It is the HEART of your essay and serves as a MAP to set your
essay in a direction
Possible ways to organize this sentence…
-state the topic and use a metaphor to make a strong imagery.
-mention 2 or more specific sensory details OR
-mention 2 or more specific elements you see in the picture
“Attention Grabber” Examples

Onomatopoeia:
THUMP! CRASH! BANG! It sounded like the entire house was crashing down.
Fragments:
Dim lamplight. A ticking clock. Slow, steady breathing. Strange greenery sprouting
from a book.
Metaphor:
The Smith’s basement was a playground for unnatural creatures.
Definition:
Magic: an extraordinary power seemingly from a supernatural force.
Guidelines for Writing a THESIS

Use your brainstorming notes.

Think about what you already know about the topic
Think about your aim, or purpose, in writing
Look over the facts and details you’ve gathered
Is there an overall idea that ties all your facts and details together?

Clearly identify both your topic and your main idea.

Your reader should not have to guess about what you are writing by the end of the introduction. You
will have to state the THESIS at the end of the introduction paragraph before you move on.
(English writing≠Chinese writing)

Revise your thesis statement as necessary.

As you come up with more ideas, you will need to constantly go back to your thesis statement to
make sure that you are staying on topic.
Sample THESIS statements

A terrible thesis statement:

I am writing about the Palace Theatre.
Better thesis statements:
Stepping into the Palace Theater is like stepping into a golden
fairyland. (Your essay would describe how it is like a golden fairlyland)

The wooden roller coaster in Coney Island is a work of art.

(Your essay would describe how it is like a work of art)

My bedroom is an ocean sanctuary. (Your essay would describe how it is like an

ocean sanctuary)
Drafting – Body Paragraphs & Conclusion

Development (body paragraphs)

Each paragraph should have the following:
A topic sentence (first sentence) Ex. focus on one sensory detail OR one
element of the picture mentioned in the thesis
At least 2 different ideas supporting the THESIS

Use
-descriptive adjectives/exact verbs
-further elaboration on sensory details
-figurative speech
-a variety of sentence structures & lengths
Conclusion
Restate your thesis in a different way
Summarize what you wrote in your body paragraphs in 3-4 sentences
Finalize your paragraph with a sentence that shows the significance of your writing and
will leave your readers thinking.
Body Paragraph brainstorming

• Remember your ENTIRE essay should deliver your chosen dominant

impression…then what should you include in your body paragraph? Follow
these steps for your brainstorming process:
1. Identify your dominant impression: e.g. threatening
2. Identify your focus element for your body paragraph: e.g. the snow fall
3. Brainstorm how all the sensory details can contribute to your mood while
describing your focus: (the 5 sense & action)
Sight – large droplets of snowflakes cutting onto the ground
Smell
Taste
Hearing – wind howling while the man is walking
Touch (feel) – blade-like snowflakes scratching my face
Action – the child hit his face from slipping
5 Paragraph Writing Template
Introductory (Indent -TAB key)(Sentence #1 – Write the Hook. It could be more than one sentence long. )
(Sentence #2 – Write a brief sentence that introduces the topic of your writing.) (Sentence #3 – Write
Paragraph something else about your topic – It could answer the questions – what, when, where, why, how?) (Sentence
#4 – Write one more sentence that answers the questions = what, when where, why, how?) (Sentence #5 –
WRITE THE THESIS – The THESIS should focus on the main ideas you will be describing in your body
paragraphs.)
(Indent -TAB key)(Sentence #1 – Write a Topic Sentence. This sentence should be about ONE
idea – Ex. ONE aspect about the picture you picked) (Sentence #2 – Write about something that supports
Body Paragraph 1 Sentence 1.) (Sentence #3 – Write something else that relates to Topic Sentence 1.) (Sentence #4 – If you
have a third example to describe, continue on.)

(Indent -TAB key)(Sentence #1 – Write a Topic Sentence. This sentence should be about ONE
Body Paragraph 2 idea – Ex. ONE aspect about the picture you picked) (Sentence #2 – Write about something that supports
Sentence 1.) (Sentence #3 – Write something else that relates to Topic Sentence 1.) (Sentence #4 – If you
have a third example to describe, continue on.)
Body Paragraph 3
(Indent -TAB key)(Sentence #1 – Write a Topic Sentence. This sentence should be about ONE
idea – Ex. ONE aspect about the picture you picked) (Sentence #2 – Write about something that supports
Sentence 1.) (Sentence #3 – Write something else that relates to Topic Sentence 1.) (Sentence #4 – If you
have a third example to describe, continue on.)
Conclusion
(Indent -TAB key)(Sentence #1 – Write the THESIS again using different words) (Sentence
#2 –Write one sentence that sums up Body Paragraph 1.) (Sentence #3- – Write one sentence that sums up
Body Paragraph 2.) (Sentence #4 – Write one sentence that sums up Body Paragraph 3.) (Sentence #5 –
Write one sentence that explains the significance of this piece of writing and will leave your readers
Example #1 – Descriptive Paragraph

My fingers held onto the canoe paddle as we made our way

across the lake. The waves were huge. I could hardly hear Kristen
at the front of my canoe and I was scared. I was soaking wet from
all of the rain and the water. I didn’t think we were going to make it
to shore safely. I yelled to Kristen to paddle harder and luckily she
did. Slowly we got closer to the shoreline. My arms were tired and
I could barely move the paddle. As the canoe landed on the beach
I breathed a big sigh of relief. I could not believe we had made it
to shore.
Example #1 – Descriptive Paragraph

What could the writer do to improve this paragraph?

How could this paragraph be more descriptive?

What would you like to know more about? What important details
were omitted?
Example #2 – Descriptive Paragraph

My fingers gripped the cold wet paddle and I gritted my teeth against the bitter
wind. Waves splashed over the edge of our canoe and water sloshed on the
bottom as I tried to focus on the shoreline. Kristen’s cries from the bow could
hardly be heard over the roar of the storm and my heart pounded in my chest.
Water dripped down my cheeks as the waves crashed and curled against our
boat and my hair hung like limp pieces of string against my head. My mind
whirled with all the possibilities that faced us, but I refused to be beaten down
by the storm. I yelled to Kristen to paddle harder and faster against the wild
waves. I could barely hear her reply but saw her lean forward and muster
herself against the force of the wind. Slowly, but surely, we inched forward
towards the shoreline. My muscles strained and ached and I grunted with
each stroke of the paddle. As the nose of the canoe nudged against the beach
my shoulders relaxed and I slowly let my breath out. I would not be getting
into a canoe again for a very long time!
Example #2 – Descriptive Paragraph

How is this paragraph different from the first example?

Underline the descriptive words and phrases. Highlight you favorite

sentence.
Revision - Writing Requirement Checklist

• Basic elements of your 4-paragraph descriptive essay

– Introduction
• Attention Grabber
• THESIS (If you still do not understand what a THESIS is, please see me.)
– 2 body paragraphs
– Concluding Paragraph
• At least 3 or more sensory details with strong adjectives and exact verbs
• At least 4 figurative language devices ( Use at least 3 different kinds.)
What to avoid….

• Adverbs that repeat verbs

Example: She screamed loudly.
• Weak adverbs
Example: Use “raced” instead of “walked quickly”
• Overused adjectives
Examples: beautiful, lovely, wonderful, cute, pretty
• Clichés such as,
• “big as a house”
• “good as gold”
• “It was just a dream”
What to avoid….

• DO NOT WRITE ABOUT THE PLOT OF THE PICTURES! USE YOUR OWN
IMAGINATION AND DESCRIBE!
• NO “things,” “it,” or “stuff.”
• Do NOT repeat yourself.
• NO “you. ”
• Do NOT talk about yourself or your own feelings about the picture or video clips.
• Avoid using baby words (Ex. big, little, small)
• DO NOT FORGET to INDENT the paragraph
• Do not constantly change the verb tense in every sentence.
• Do not forget to punctuate and capitalize correctly!
• Do not forget to proofread your writing!
Planning checklist

Construct your outline by deciding the following:

1. The dominant impression (the overall mood)
2. Setting (as specific as possible)
3. Characters (Who are you? Who are on the picture?)
4. Plot (What’s going on?)
5. Sensory details that will display your dominant impression (list them ALL)
(sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch)
6. Figurative language that will support your dominant impression (provide
the specific figurative language phrases)
7. Outline of the essay itself: introduction (attention grabber, background,
thesis statement), body #1 focus, body #2 focus, conclusion