User:Archola/The Centrist Fellowship

Disclaimer: This is meant to be compatible with Wikipedia:WikiProject Countering Systemic Bias, and does not imply POV-pushing.

I hereby give permission to edit this subpage if you wish to add to the punchlines or join the membership roll. Arch O. La 19:19, 3 March 2006 (UTC)

The Centrist Fellowship is a group of editors dedicated to promoting cooperation, reducing binary thinking, reflecting scholarship in an NPOV manner, and promoting progress, beginning with the Jesus article. The Fellowship's origins can be found here. The charter members include an atheist, an agnostic, and two Lutherans. This situation lends itself to humor:

An atheist, an agnostic, and a Lutheran walk into a bar...

• Bartender asks, "Is this a joke?" (submitted by Arch O. La)
• Lutheran says, "I'll buy you a beer." Agnostic says, "I don't know." Atheist says, "There is no beer." (Submitted by CTSWyneken and Arch O. La)
• Lutheran says, "I'll buy you a beer." Agnostic says, "I don't know." Atheist says, "I don't believe in beer...but I will if you buy me one!" (Submitted by CTSWyneken, Arch O. La and SOPHIA.)
• Lutheran says, "I'll buy you a beer." Agnostic says, "Which beer is the best?" Atheist says, "None of them!" (Submitted by Victim of signature fascism | There is no cabal.)
• Before they can order, a Cabalist (not to be confused with Kabbalist) tells them, "You're in the wrong bar." (Submitted by KillerChihuahua.)
• ... and have a drink. Lutheran says, "I believe you'll pay the bill." Agnostic says, "I'm not sure I can pay the bill." Atheist runs out the door, saying, "As long as I can't see the bill, there is no bill to pay!" (submitted by Avery W. Krouse, slightly modified.)
• The atheist offers to buy the others a standard measure of ethyl alcohol infused liquid that induces an intesified jovial social experience followed by soporific state. By the time he has finished saying all this, the agnostic and the Lutheran are already on their third round and having a fun time. (submitted by SOPHIA)
• The lutheran says, "God will provide me with a beer." The agnostic wonders if maybe a god could provide him one. The atheist buys her own beer, and is the only one with a beer at the end of the night. —Ben Brockert (42)

A Synthesized Joke

An atheist, an agnostic, and a Lutheran walk into a bar. Cabalist tells them, "You're in the wrong bar," but they ignore him. Bartender asks, "Is this a joke?" They tell him, "No."

Lutheran says, "Let's have a beer." Agnostic says, "I don't know." Atheist says, "I don't believe in beer...but I will if you buy me one!" Lutheran tells Agnostic, "In Heaven, there is no beer, that's why we drink it here. Go ahead, it's not a sin. " Agnostic asks, "Which beer is the best?" Atheist says, "None of them!"

Lutheran says, "Let's have another round." Agnostic says, "Again, I don't know." Atheist says, "There is no beer."

After finishing his drink, Lutheran says, "I believe you'll pay the bill." Agnostic says, "I'm not sure I can pay the bill." Atheist runs out the door, saying, "As long as I can't see the bill, there is no bill to pay!"

The next night, athiest, agnostic and Lutheran walk into another bar. The atheist offers to buy the others a standard measure of ethyl alcohol infused liquid that induces an intesified jovial social experience followed by soporific state. By the time he has finished saying all this, the agnostic and the Lutheran are already on their third round and having a fun time.

The agnostic drives the group home. Before long, a highway patrolman pulls them over. The Lutheran prays, "Oh God, I believe you'll save us from this ticket." The atheist warns, "Well, that cop will use a test to verify the sobriety of the driver. I can assure you there will be no ticket." The agnostic, stressing out over whether or not there will be a ticket, throws up out the window and onto the cop. The cop says, "I believe you need to step out of the car." The atheist exclaims, "What do you know? The cop's a religious man too!"

Membership roll:

• Arch O. La 18:58, 3 March 2006 (UTC)
• SOPHIA 19:31, 3 March 2006 (UTC)
• Jim62sch 19:35, 3 March 2006 (UTC)
• --CTSWyneken 21:34, 3 March 2006 (UTC)