Beggars Belief By Terrance Garland

Original Screenplay

Hairy Egg Films

terrance.c.garland@virginmedia.com

SCENE ONE (INT DAY) -- BEDROOM We open on a black empty screen. Black with a tiny pin hole of white light in the centre. The light gets bigger as a circle grows. When it is close enough we can see that the object in the circle is an old alarm clock, vibrating. the metallic sound of the alarm gets louder. The circle disappears out of the four corners of the screen as the alarm rings out deafeningly. After a moment a hand appears from the right hand side, off screen, grabs the alarm and violently throws it against the wall. It smashes into pieces sending a shower of clockwork pieces, springs and clogs flying through the air. The room is lit by what ever sunlight manages to get through the semi-drawn blinds. We see a wide shot from the foot of the bed as are protagonist tosses and pulls the blankets over his head. A time lapse will show through the use of light and shadows the protagonist sleeping on for quite a while. the shadows recede and the room brightens as the sun rises in the morning sky. Are protagonist, Pete is a scruffy looking twenty something, who looks like he stop caring along time ago. He is unkempt and and unshaven. He wakes, yawning and stretching. We will see a long computer generated image of the word yawn leave his mouth small and drift across the room growing in size as it floats away in a long curling zig zag path. He arches his back with a pop as a bone softly cracks. This too will be CG as the word Pop will suddenly pop into existence in a fat curved font and float off as if blown away by a gentle breeze. He collapses on the bed again, his eyes still closed. He opens them and sighs deeply summoning the will to drag himself out of bed. He gets up and goes to the window where he opens the blinds. The light that suddenly bursts into the room is blinding white and sends him stumbling back falling over the bed. He somersaults over the bed and topples onto the ground. INT. DAY -- BATHROOM He enters the bathroom and tries to pull the light cord. The light comes on and he proceeds to urinate for the longest time. The light starts to flicker and then goes out altogether. standing there in dim light he reaches across to the blind cord and pulls. Again the light comes through strong and blinding. He stumbles back against the bathroom wall hitting his head and urinating down his pajama trouser leg. He quickly finds his footing and returns to finish his business in the toilet bowl cursing and muttering under his breath.

2.

INT. DAY -- LIVING ROOM As he descends the staircase his stomach starts to grumble. He enters his living room, which is cluttered in mess. He tip toes over clothes and dishes, DVDs and books until he reaches the curtains. He braces himself, preparing for the harsh light and pulls the curtains back, turning his head to the side and wincing as he does so. Light floods the small living room, but he has come round enough not to mind this time. He smiles, altogether pleased with himself and turns to walk away. As he does he stubs his toe on a coffee table. Hopping around the room on one leg cursing obscenities under his breath, through clenched teeth he tumbles over the edge of a sofa sprawling to the floor. We hear a large vehicle come to a stop in the distance. Pete gets off the ground and goes to the window to investigate. Outside is a white van with the TV License logo on the side. A grumpy looking man in his fifties wearing wide rimmed glasses gets out of the front seat holding some sort of clipboard. Panic sets in as Pete frantically tries to pulls the curtains closed. In his haste he accidentally pulls the whole curtains down. He seems to bounce around the room like a pinball looking for a solution to his problem. His eyes light up as he suddenly thinks of something. As the TV License man walks past the living room window he looks in cupping his hands to get a good look in to Petes window. We see him from the living room pull back in disbelief then take another look. Inside Pete is standing by the side of his Telly shaking a pepper shaker down the back. He is smiling a forced jovial smile at the man at the window, even venturing a little wave. On the TV there is a screen saver of a tropical fish tank. the fish swim back and forth even seeming to come to the top for food. INT. DAY -- HALLWAY Pete closes the door on the man with a loud slam and looks at the letter in his hands, some kind of penalty or fine of some sort. He looks infuriated. He is wearing a black T-shirt that has words saying Beggars Belief in chunky broken font, below that there is a print of a scenic desert with the sun setting on the horizon. As he stands there at the front door, we glide slowly closer to the print on his Tee. We stop just as the font takes up the entire screen. The font cross fades from print into a real scene where the lettering, large and three dimensional, looms high in the night sky, above the title appears the words A Terry Garland Film. We then pan down below the lettering settling on a desert at dusk. The sun, low in the sky, casts long shadows over the cracked mud earth. Sand and dust blow lazily across the plain. A tumble weed rolls across the land (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

bouncing softly, as a coyote howls in the distance. The sun disappears below the horizon as the sky darkens and stars start to appear. fade to black. INT. DAY -- KITCHEN The blackness is broken as a cupboard door is opened. From the inside we see Pete look into the barren landscape of his cupboard in despair. we see the black silhouettes of cacti scatter the cupboard floor. He closes the door leaving us in the dark once more. Pete stands there with his back to the cupboard looking down at the floor thinking. He notices something on the skirting board and his brow furrows. He goes to the other side of the room and bends to pick up a tiny piece of paper laying next to a mouse hole. picking it up he examines it closer. We can see that it is a little piece of folded paper. He unfolds it awkwardly with his fore-fingers and thumbs delicately trying not to damage it. looking down at the note he sees the smallest writing, almost indistinguishable to the human eye. He studies the note intently. INT. DAY -- MOUSES LIVING ROOM We are in a small room. We see the back of a sofa. silhouetted against a bright television at the opposite end of the room. sitting on the sofa with his back to us, is a mouse. He sits watching television. ANNOUNCER coming up later is the new season of desperate house mice at 9, followed by our film at ten Miami Mice. But right now its time for you to put your paws up and settle in for some cheesy fun in Squeal or no Squeal The mouse sets the remote down and leaves the room. After a moment we hear water running into a bath tub coming from the bathroom down the hall. Flickering lights radiate off the screen casting different colors around the room. We stay here for a while until the water tap ceases and we hear bath water splash. After another moment, the saddest most despairingly depressing music slowly rises

4.

INT. DAY -- MOUSE BATHROOM The mouse lies there in the tub, blood everywhere. Its all over the bath, the mouses fur, streaks up his face. The water has turned a dark maroon color in the bath. the floor has a large pool of blood coelating under the mouses paw which hangs over the side of the bath, slashed across his wrist in a diagonal gaping mouth. We see an extreme close up of the mouses eye, which takes up the entire screen. the camera slowly glides away into the air looking down at the mouses dead face, then his entire body as the camera moves further away. eventually the mouse will just be a tiny dot as our view point gets higher and higher. We cut to a wide shot of the mouse from eye level from the side of the bath as the camera slowly glides away. out of the bathroom, turns and slowly recedes down the hall way passing the living room were we see the light emanating from the television as well as the echoing sound, eerie now in the quiet house. the camera recedes further down the hall and eventually out of the hole in the wall, coming to a stop and slowly panning down to the foot of the entrance, stopping at a little piece of paper. A large hand comes into shot and lifts the note. INT. DAY -- KITCHEN Pete looks down at the note. He drops his hands to his sides and takes a deep breath. He shakes his head gently. INT. DAY -- LIVING ROOM As he enters the living room, his stomach once again starts to rumble. He puts his hands in his pockets looking for something, as he pulls the lining out, a butterfly flutters out of one pocket and flies away. He pushes the lining back into place and sighs. He searches for any spare change he could use to buy some food. We see his sofa as he walks off screen to the right. Rummaging we see a clutter of clothes old news papers etc. fly across the screen onto the sofa. He then walks past the sofa and goes off screen to the right where we see another clutter of hold house objects fly across the screen landing on the other side of the sofa. He then comes back on screen scratching his head and looking about. He quickly clears the sofa of all the junk that has amassed there and checks the lining. Gently at first then his arms go deeper and deeper into the sofa until he, finally after his arms are wedged deep up to his armpits, squeezes his head between the cushions and shimmies further down until its nothing but two legs kicking back and forth before they too disappear. We start to creep in towards the sofa extremely slowly, maybe 30 - 40 seconds in total, until we are extremely close to where his legs disappeared. We (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

come to a smooth stop. After a moment a fist punches out through the seam clutching a fistful of loose change. The arm and fist reach out to the edge of the sofa and the hand opens up. A down pour of coins falls to the floor like rain. Looking up from the floor the coins seem to bounce of the screen. Another arm pushes through the seam and Pete drags himself out of the sofa, gasping for air like a free diver coming up from a particularly long dive. Sweating and panting, he pulls his last leg through and collapses on the sofa. We fade to black, followed by a short montage of images. ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...as he grabs his jacket off the hanger. ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...We see him pull on his converse sneakers... ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...He pulls his hat on... ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...He bends at a shrine of some sort, with a large stone bust, a photograph and assorted candles and incense... ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...He lights a candle with a long thin stick... ...FADE OUT FADE IN... ...He preforms a ceremonious sign or gesturing of some kind, different from the sign of the holy trinity. more comical... ...FADE OUT

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6. FADE IN...

...He blows out the candle. the tendril of smoke rises from the wick hypnotically. We can hear him get up and leave. The front door closes with a gentle metallic click. through the smoke we focus in on the stone bust seeing it clearly for the first time. It is an image of Black Dynamite, 70s spoof blaxploitation super cop. A Motown style voice breaks the silence as a male vocalist sings out V.O. Dynnaamiite! Dynnaamiite! SCENE TWO (INT DAY) -- SUPERMARKET Pete pushes a trolley down a wide supermarket aisle. He stops and picks up a can of food, close up it says Supreme Quality, superlative taste and underneath that is the price 1.69. He pulls the change from his pocket and gently tosses it, feeling the weight. He puts the money away and sighs, putting the can back on the shelf. He continues to push the trolley up the aisle stopping again further up. He takes another can from the shelf and studies it. Up close we see the words Not Farmers pick, but still does the trick and underneath the a price of 59P. Pete cups the outside of his pocket and shakes the coins gently, thinking. Again he puts the can back and moves forward. Towards the end of the aisle, where the food packaging moves away from brands, logos and fancy graphics towards generic, bland, color-striped stores own goods, he picks up a can of food and looks at it. Close up it reads Tastes like shit, but what do you expect for 12p. He looks at the can disgusted and disappointing, before throwing it into his trolley with the rest of his meager shopping and moving on. EXT. DAY -- PAWN SHOP Looking out through a pawn shop window display showcasing everything from electric guitars to collectible figurines, we see Pete walking past clutching two bags of food. Hes stops and looks in through the window at something off screen. A light bulb goes off brightly above his head. Outside He drops his bags at his feet without a second thought, he grabs the light bulb from above his head, the moment he touches it, the light disappears. He puts the bulb in his inside jacket pocket and enters the pawn shop. Inside at the pencil pencil a man in his thirties, overweight, and sweaty stands counter studying a crossword. Chewing on the end of a he looks up and sees Pete enter. He points the at Pete accusingly. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: FAT GUY Six letter word for corpulent farm animal? PETE Any Cannon 550s? FAT GUY Wait here.

7.

The fat man goes off behind a screen to the front window display. He has a hard time squeezing himself into such a small space. Pete walks to the back of the store and lifts a television set off a shelf. He tears a price sticker off the front of it and walks into a tiny room in the back that says Sell above the door. He enters the room and sets the Telly on the counter to his right where a bald man with glasses stands typing into a computer. The man looks at the telly then at Pete, then makes a long drawn out humming sound whilst rubbing his chin. BALD GUY Ill give ya 25 quid? Pete nods his approval and the man takes the telly into another room. Whilst he is momentarily gone Pete sneaks a glance through to the shop front and sees that the Fat Man is still gone. The bald man comes back out and hands Pete a twenty and a five pound note. Pete salutes the man and leaves. The bald man goes back to his typing. In front the fat man comes out of a tight space near the window panting and sweating profusely, just as Pete leaves the little room. He looks at Pete with a mixture of pride and misery. FAT MAN Hey. I... I got it! He looks at Pete with the dumbest smile. Pete does not look at him, he walks past towards the door. PETE Fat swine! THE FAT MAN FLINCHES IN SHOCK AS HE WATCHES PETE LEAVE. HE STANDS THERE FOR A MOMENT, LOOKING HURT, THEN HIS EYES LIGHT UP UNDER HIS HIGH ARCHING BROWS, AS HE UNDERSTANDS. He quickly newspaper, smiling at front door writes down the words fat and swine, in his finishing the crossword. He puts the pencil down, himself, looking at the crossword then at the Pete just left.

8.

SCENE THREE (INT NIGHT) -- FOOD COURT Pete sits at a table finishing the last of a meal. He pushes his tray to the opposite end of the table and sits back with a contented smile. INT NIGHT -- CINEMA Pete stands looking at a poster for a new Science Fiction Movie. The poster shows a man standing on top of a stone precipice, one knee bent, looking out over the terrain of mars. His shirt is torn showing his muscled torso beneath. He holds a gun in one hand and in the other holds up some sort of talisman made of stone or metal. unrecognizable rune carvings adorn the object. Draped around each leg is a pair of beautiful women painted green in primitive swimsuits made of rope and hides. Above in the black sky we see earth in flames and over that the title Captain Jonas Sinclair and the MacGuffin of Mars below that it reads Based on the classic Sci-Fi novel by Walter P. Goggins Mars is Well Shitter than Earth, isnt it?. Pete stands before the Ticket seller as she types into her till. TICKET GIRL So, thats six pound for a single ticket, three pound for the Glasses. Theres just the premium seats left so thats an extra four pound. Five for the Coke seven for popcorn and four for the Nachos. Plus surcharges and V.A.T, that comes to, huuummmm, thirty four pound seventy five. Will there be anything else? Pete stares at the girl in disbelief. He makes to take money from his pocket but decides instead at the last minute to pull out the middle finger and hold it up to the girl. He holds his arm outstretched giving the finger for a moment then turns on his heel and leaves. TICKET GIRL Next! A ticket collector stands at the foot of the main foyer. He collects and tears peoples tickets, directing them to there particular auditorium. Whilst he busys himself with a couple, Pete slips by him walking backwards. The collector hands the man his and his girlfriends tickets.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: TICKET COLLECTOR Kay, eight. Straight down to the end on your right. Enjoy the Movie.

9.

The collector notices out of his peripheral vision and turns. Pete immediately stops, studying a poster for some film or another. The moment the collector turns his attention away, Pete starts his strange backward walk. Two guys approach the collector. TICKET COLLECTOR First on the left guys. Enjoy. He turns to motion the way to the two guys. Pete stops the moment he turns, bending to tie his laces. The collector looks at Pete, brow furrowed, then turns to attend to another couple, approaching with their tickets outstretched, arms loaded with pop corn and soda buckets. TICKET COLLECTOR Hi guys, ah.. Bottom of the hall to right. enjoy your movie. The collector turns pointing and directing the couple to the end of the hall. We glimpse Pete just as he turns into a screening room backwards. The collector looks in the direction Pete disappeared for a moment, and shakes his head. INT NIGHT -- CINEMA, SCREEN ROOM SIX Pete sits down in a seat in the middle of Row G, dead centre of the auditorium. The movie is just starting, we can hear the THX frequency test ring out through the room. Pete takes his jacket, hat and scarf off and settles into his seat. We time lapse here to show the passing of the movie. Through Petes eyes and the audio we see that the first two acts of the cliche filled movie have passed. The Captain of Mars has warmed to the plight of the Martian people and leads them into battle against the evil invaders who destroyed earth before moving on to Mars. During a romantic scene between Captain Jonas and the Martian Kings Daughter on the eve of the big battle, Pete notices something on the floor to his left and bows to pick up a half empty box of pop corn. He turns it in his hand and brings it closer to examine it. He shrugs, takes a huge handful, and stuffs his face. After a moment chewing he stops. He lifts the pop corn up to his face and tentatively gives it a gentle sniff. Eyes blazing in sudden realization he snaps his arm out away from himself, pop corn flies from the bucket at people sitting a few rows in front. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

WOMAN IN FRONT Hey! Ya mind! He spits the pop corn everywhere, coughing and sputtering, making sure he gets it all out. MAN IN FRONT For fucks sake! Dude! He looks at the box held out in his hand in disgust, then then at the people in front of him. PETE Sorry. He slowly brings the popcorn towards himself, tipping it upside down emptying the rest of the contents. At the bottom of the box, someone has cut a circular hole, about four centimeters in diameter. Shrieking, he throws the box towards the front row. MAN IN FRONT Thats it. Pete apologetically holds out his hands, then stands up and brushes popcorn of his clothes and drags his fingernails along his outstretched tongue.He continues to spit, this time making sure to spit at the ground. He reaches across to the woman in front and grabs her coke and takes a huge gulp, washing the liquid around his mouth. The man who had popcorn spat at the back of his head returns with a man in a suit carrying a flash light. He points towards Pete. MAN IN There he is! FRONT

The suit points the flash light directly at Pete and moves up the staircase to the end of his row. SUIT Sir Im going to have to ask you to step out for a second. Pete spits the coke out in a huge spray. misting the already angry viewers sitting in front. WOMAN IN FRONT Oh, come on!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

MAN IN FRONT See! SUIT Sir, could you please step out, I have to ask you to leave. Pete takes his belongings and side steps out into the aisle, where the man in the suit escorts him down the steps and out of the screen room. PETE But! Ah, theres only like ten minutes left man. He leaves the room still occasionally spitting. SCENE FOUR (EXT NIGHT) -- HIGH STREET Pete walks down the high street shivering and blowing in his hands to stave off the bite of the winter air. He stops at a local book store and looks in the window at a poster for the book Captain Jonas Sinclair Above the satellite image of the red planet read the words Now a Major Motion Picture. He walks into the bookstore. INT NIGHT -- PETES HOUSE Pete opens and enters through the front door, holding a bag with the bookshop logo on the front. He runs up the stairs two at a time and runs to the bathroom. The bathroom in dimly lit in moonlight, coming in through the window. Pete takes the light bulb out of the socket and sets it on the window ledge. He takes, from his inside pocket the bulb from earlier and screws it in. He pulls the light cord and the light flickers on. He sits on the toilet bowl and takes his book out of the bag, cracks the spine and begins to flick to the end of the book where he left off during the movie. As he begins to read we start to zoom in on his face extremely slowly. His face tells of the emotional investment he has put into the conclusion to the story of Captain Jonas and his adventures in space. He looks intensely engrossed, wide-eyed and full of wonder. as we get closer to his face, we see worry start to set in. He bites on his fingers of his free hand, then use it to to to what we see is the last page. We see close up that the final paragraph, about 16 lines long looks strange. Part of the text looks protruded and of a different texture. Suddenly the text begins to move as a white and black camouflaged butterfly moves its wings up and down, the black words against its white wings become unreadable. Pete Looks at the insect. After flexing its (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

wings the butterfly takes flight bouncing and fluttering out of the bathroom. Petes eyes follow it out. He bounces up and starts to chase the butterfly down the stairs and into the living. From upstairs we hear Pete crashing into things, knocking things over. We Fade to Black. THE END