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Presented by Ronald Howard Kelley at Sydney University

This document provides an overview of love from historical, scientific, and coaching perspectives. It discusses Aristotle's definition of love as inhabiting two bodies with a single soul. Historically, the ancient Greeks defined five types of love: eros, philia, agape, storge, and xenia. Scientific research on love since the early 20th century is explored, including theories that love is composed of different factors like intimacy, passion, and commitment. The document also examines how showing love in the workplace through appreciation and connection can improve safety, productivity, and satisfaction.

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David Lina Peña
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87 views20 pages

Presented by Ronald Howard Kelley at Sydney University

This document provides an overview of love from historical, scientific, and coaching perspectives. It discusses Aristotle's definition of love as inhabiting two bodies with a single soul. Historically, the ancient Greeks defined five types of love: eros, philia, agape, storge, and xenia. Scientific research on love since the early 20th century is explored, including theories that love is composed of different factors like intimacy, passion, and commitment. The document also examines how showing love in the workplace through appreciation and connection can improve safety, productivity, and satisfaction.

Uploaded by

David Lina Peña
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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LOVE

Presented by
Ronald Howard Kelley
at Sydney University

Love Outline
What is LOVE?
LOVE historically
Research on LOVE
LOVE in coaching

Love is composed of a
single soul inhabiting two
bodies.
(Aristotle)

What Is LOVE?
Love is a Drug
Love is colour.
Love is an intense feeling.
Love is art.
Love is beauty.
Love is children.
Love is Family
Love is Sex/Lust
Love is animals.
Love is nature.
Love is God.

3 Stages of Love Drugs


Stage 1: LUST
Lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen.

Stage 2: ATTRACTION
This is the truly love-struck phase where a group of neuro-transmitters
called 'monoamines' play an important role: Dopamine - Also activated by
cocaine and nicotine; Norepinephrine adrenalin that gets us hot and
bothered; and, Serotonin a chemical that makes us temporarily insane!

Stage 3: ATTACHMENT
Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps
couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage
are two hormones released by the nervous system:
Oxytocin cements strong mother /child. bonding as well as with adults
through sexual act at orgasm. i.e. more sex, more bond! Vasopressin an
important chemical for the long-term commitment stage.

Five Types of Love Historically


The ancient Greeks defined five types of
love that exist in human relationships:

Philia
Eros
Agape
Storge
Xenia

EROS
Eros is affectionate love that tends to be
possessive and intimate; it is far more
inclusive than just sexual love, an example is
Romeo and Juliet. The Scandinavian
theologian Anders Nygren describes how
Eros bases its interest in a single other instead
of all others; Eros is hence limited,
conditioned and pre-eminently calculating.

Philia
Philia is about special friendships;
they might be mates, team members,
sisterhood, brotherhood, fellowship
or the like where people share
intimacy and equality with trust and
respect for each other.

AGAPE
Agape is a non-possessive love and concern
for the well being of others; a selfless love
for humanity and the will of the self in
devotion to neighbour. This is a
therapeutic attitude to be developed, what
Carl Rogers encourages in his client-centred
therapy. Nygren
sees
Agape
as
spontaneous, unmotivated, indifferent to
value, creative, unlimited, unconditioned,
and un-calculating.

STORGE

Storge is the love found in


families: the love of parent for
child and child for parent.

XENIA
Xenia is LOVE that manifests
as hospitality. Through
hospitality XENIA, strangers
become grateful friends in a
world that is not always
friendly.

Research on LOVE
Since antiquity there has been much ado about LOVE. Philosophers,
theologians, artists have all pondered LOVE in life. Scientific research
is relatively recent, limited to the last century.

1904-27 - Spearman - Love is a unitary, undifferentiable emotion (Structural Model #1)


1922-55 - Freud - Love is sublimated sexuality
1939 - Thomson - Love is a sampling of many overlapping bonds (Structural Model #2)
1938 - Thurstone - Love is a set of several primary factors (Structural Model #3)
1958 - Harlow - love is attachment
1962 - Maslow - Love is either deficiency love of being love
1963 - Burton - Love is a disease
1965 - Askew - Love is a neurosis
1967 - Koenigsberg - Love is a projection of competitiveness with a parent
1969 - deRougement - Love is the enshrinement of suffering and death
1970-3 - Rubin - love can be measured on a LOVE SCALE vs. LIKING scale
1977 - Lee - Six kinds of love can be divined from the Colours of LOVE
1977 - Levinger, et al. - Interpersonal involvement love cost in relationship
1980 - Livingston - Love is a process of uncertainty reduction
1980 - Lasswell & Lobsenz - Love scale questionnaire
1982 - Strernberg & Grajek - the nature of love (3 structural models study) Commitment)
1990 - Hazen & Shaver - LOVE and WORK
2002 Campbell et al. Self-Love
2004 Park, Peterson & Seligman - Strength of Character and Well-Being
1986 - Sternberg - Triangular theory of Love (Intimacy, Passion, and Decision//Commitment
Hendricks and Hendricks (1986, 1992)

John Lees Colours of Love


EROS is a
romantic and
passionate
love.

EROS
16 2/3 %

16 2/3 %
AGAPE

16 2/3 %
MANIA

LUDUS
16 2/3 %

MANIA is
possessive and
dependent love
(EROS+LUDUS)

LUDUS is
game playing
lvoe.

AGAPE is selfless
love
(EROS+STORGE)

STORGE is
friendship
love.

PRAGMA is
shopping list love
(STORGE+LUDUS).

16STORGE
2/3 %

16 2/3 %
PRAGMA

Lee (1973, 1988),

Sternbergs 3 Styles of LOVE


Intimacy: In-to-me-see.
Passion: Intensity and arousal. Ecstasy or despair.
Commitment: Anything for love.

Come together to create seven styles:

Liking: Intimacy alone


Infatuation: Passion alone
Empty love: Commitment alone
Romantic love: Passion + Intimacy.
Companionate love: Intimacy + Commitment
Fatuous love: Passion + Commitment
Consummate love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment
Sternberg and Barnes (1988)

Peterson & Seligman 3


Prototypical forms of LOVE

Romantic love
A childs love for a parent
A parents love for a child

Peterson and Seligman (2004)

ATTACHMENT
Hand-in-hand with all forms of LOVE is the
theory of attachment and style that go with it.
Attachment Styles (developed in early parental
relationships) include:
Secure : Trusting, without concerns for abandonment, feeling
self-worth and being liked.
Avoidant : Suppression of needs due to repeated rejection.
Difficulty in forming intimate relationships.
Anxious/Ambivalent : Worry that others will not reciprocate
intimacy. Caused by inconsistent experiences.

Research Hazan and Shaver (1987) surveyed adults and found 56% were
secure, 25% avoidant and 19% Anxious.

.
Love loves to love love
.
James Joyce in Ulysses

How LOVE can be applied to


Coaching:
Research Shows:
Gallup shows that if you work with best friends you are safer,
more productive and have higher customer satisfaction (Rath,
2004)
Peterson and Parks (2006, p. 1151) found that love predicts
accomplishments as a leader when studying cadets at West Point
Military Academy.

How LOVE can be applied to


Coaching through reframing:
Love is not a word that is used much in the workplace . Love has
been and is viewed as a weakness and softness not appropriate in
the dog-eat-dog world of commerce.

VIA strength Capacity to Love and Be Loved can reframe


old attitudes:
Feeling taken for granted? Feel truly appreciated!
Feeling isolated? Feel connected to co-workers!
Stuck in your functional silo? Collaborate with others!
Working with enemies and competitors? Work with
friends!

Peterson, C. & Park, N. (2006). Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004).

How LOVE can be applied to


Coaching:
As a coach, learn what love is for yourself.
Learn what love is for your coachees.
Some people you work with may be so damaged
by love: a schema that says I am not loved
and can not love from the past.
Your act of love may be to refer them on
Or maybe demonstrate how powerful and
Healing love can be.

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