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Show, Don't Tell: How To Write Like A Professional Writer

Here are rewrites of the sentences using showing instead of telling: She hugged her knees to her chest and cried, tears streaming down her face as she remembered her puppy's happy face. Colorful flowers of all kinds filled the garden, their vibrant hues standing out against lush green leaves. Bees buzzed lazily from bloom to bloom. Dark clouds rolled across the sky as thunder rumbled in the distance. Rain lashed against the windows and the wind howled, rattling branches on the trees. Layers of moist chocolate cake were sandwiched together with a thick, creamy frosting. The first bite melted in my mouth, the flavors exploding on my tongue. One adventure

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138 views23 pages

Show, Don't Tell: How To Write Like A Professional Writer

Here are rewrites of the sentences using showing instead of telling: She hugged her knees to her chest and cried, tears streaming down her face as she remembered her puppy's happy face. Colorful flowers of all kinds filled the garden, their vibrant hues standing out against lush green leaves. Bees buzzed lazily from bloom to bloom. Dark clouds rolled across the sky as thunder rumbled in the distance. Rain lashed against the windows and the wind howled, rattling branches on the trees. Layers of moist chocolate cake were sandwiched together with a thick, creamy frosting. The first bite melted in my mouth, the flavors exploding on my tongue. One adventure

Uploaded by

McMillan
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Show, Dont Tell

How to write like a professional writer


To create an Interesting Story,
the writer needs to show, not tell the reader about
To create an Interesting Story,
the writer needs to show, not tell the reader about

people
To create an Interesting Story,
the writer needs to show, not tell the reader about

people places
To create an Interesting Story,
the writer needs to show, not tell the reader about

people places things


Showing creates
mental pictures in
the readers mind.
When readers get a
clear picture, they
are more engaged
in the writers story.
Tell
It was an unusual cat.
Show
With yellow eyes
glowing red, long,
black fur that stood
on end, a mouth full
of sharp pointed
teeth that emitted a
yowl like a tiger, I
knew that the small
animal before me
was no ordinary cat.
To develop your story, begin by thinking about the
main character.

You want to show the reader what that character is


like.
Writers reveal their characters through means.
Writers reveal their characters through means.

What they What they What they



say think do.

hat the other


W ow other
H
Description characters say characters
about them.. react to them
More examples to illustrate the
difference between telling and
showing how a character feels.
1
Tell
Joey was afraid. There was a
storm. The lights went out.
1
Tell
Joey was afraid. There was a
Show
The lights suddenly went out. In
storm. The lights went out. the darkness, the wind and rain
grew louder and seemed closer
Joey sat still, his heart beating
fast. It made a thump, thump,
thump noise in his chest.

Stuart Mead, A Knock at the Door


2
Tell
Alvins mother was angry.
She hit Alvin. It was very
painful.
2
Tell
Alvins mother was angry.
Show
She had moved so quickly, her
She hit Alvin. It was very hand going back and across in
painful. one movement, slapping his left
cheek with a crack that silenced
the room. The pain hung hot on
his cheek.

Adrian Tilley, Victim


3
Tell
Bill was frightened. He
thought someone was behind
him.
3
Tell
Bill was frightened. He
Show
It seemed a shadow had fallen
thought someone was behind over him. But there was no
him. shadow. His heart had given a
great jump up into his throat
and was choking him. Then his
blood slowly chilled and he felt
the sweat of his shirt cold
against his flesh.
Jack London, All Gold Canyon
Tell Show
The pizza was delicious. Write a Show paragraph.
Mushrooms and pepperoni
sausage formed thick layers
on top of one another while
the white mozzarella cheese
bubbled over the bright red
tomato sauce. Each time I
took a bite I planned it so that
I got a taste of every luscious
ingredient. My taste buds
celebrated every single time!
Oooh, so good!
Mrs. R marched into the
classroom with a stormy look on
her face. She waved her arms and
shouted, You wont believe what
just happened! Someone had just
run into her car in the parking lot.
Rewrite these Sentences
to show, not tell.

She was so sad when she lost her puppy.


The garden was beautiful.
It was a stormy night.
The cake was delicious.
It was an exciting day.

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