Effective Writing

Rule 1. Use concrete rather than vague language.

Vague: The weather was of an extreme nature on the West Coast.
This sentence raises frustrating questions: When did this extreme weather occur? What does
"of an extreme nature" mean? Where on the West Coast did this take place?
Concrete: California had unusually cold weather last week.

Rule 2. Use active voice whenever possible. Active voice means the subject is performing the
verb. Passive voice means the subject receives the action.
Active: Barry hit the ball.
Passive: The ball was hit.
Notice that the party responsible for the actionin the previous example, whoever hit the ball
may not even appear when using passive voice. So passive voice is a useful option when the
responsible party is not known.
Example: My watch was stolen.

NOTE
The passive voice has often been criticized as something employed by people in power to avoid
responsibility:
Example: Mistakes were made.
Translation: I made mistakes.
Rule 3. Avoid overusing there is, there are, it is, it was, etc.
Example: There is a case of meningitis that was reported in the newspaper.
Revision: A case of meningitis was reported in the newspaper.
Even better: The newspaper reported a case of meningitis. (Active voice)
Example: It is important to signal before making a left turn.
Revision:
Signaling before making a left turn is important.
OR
Signaling before a left turn is important.
OR
You should signal before making a left turn.
Example: There are some revisions that must be made.
Revision: Some revisions must be made. (Passive voice)
Even better: Please make some revisions. (Active voice)
Rule 4. To avoid confusion (and pompousness), don't use two negatives to make a positive
without good reason.
Unnecessary: He is not unwilling to help.
Better: He is willing to help.
Sometimes a not un- construction may be desirable, perhaps even necessary:
Example: The book is uneven but not uninteresting.
However, the novelist-essayist George Orwell warned of its abuse with this deliberately silly
sentence: "A not unblack dog was chasing a not unsmall rabbit across a not ungreen field."

Rule 5. Use consistent grammatical form when offering several ideas. This is called parallel
construction.
Correct: I admire people who are honest, reliable, and sincere.
Note that are applies to and makes sense with each of the three adjectives at the end.
Incorrect: I admire people who are honest, reliable, and have sincerity.
In this version, are does not make sense with have sincerity, and have sincerity doesn't belong
with the two adjectives honest and reliable.
Correct: You should check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
Note that check your applies to and makes sense with each of the three nouns at the end.
Incorrect: You should check your spelling, grammar, and punctuate properly.
Here, check your does not make sense with punctuate properly, and punctuate properly doesn't
belong with the two nouns spelling and grammar. The result is a jarringly inept sentence.
Rule 6. Word order can make or ruin a sentence. If you start a sentence with an incomplete
phrase or clause, such as While crossing the street or Forgotten by history, it must be followed
closely by the person or thing it describes. Furthermore, that person or thing is always the main
subject of the sentence. Breaking this rule results in the dreaded, all-too-common dangling
modifier, or dangler.
Dangler: Forgotten by history, his autograph was worthless.
The problem: his autograph shouldn't come right after history, because he was forgotten, not
his autograph.
Correct: He was forgotten by history, and his autograph was worthless.
Dangler: Born in Chicago, my first book was about the 1871 fire.
The problem: the sentence wants to say I was born in Chicago, but to a careful reader, it says
that my first book was born there.
Correct: I was born in Chicago, and my first book was about the 1871 fire.
Adding -ing to a verb (as in crossing in the example that follows) results in a versatile word
called a participle, which can be a noun, adjective, or adverb. Rule 6 applies to all sentences
with a participle in the beginning. Participles require placing the actor immediately after the
opening phrase or clause.
Dangler: While crossing the street, the bus hit her. (Wrong: the bus was not crossing.)
Correct:
While crossing the street, she was hit by a bus.
OR
She was hit by a bus while crossing the street.

Rule 7. Place descriptive words and phrases as close as is practical to the words they modify.
Ill-advised: I have a cake that Mollie baked in my lunch bag.
Cake is too far from lunch bag, making the sentence ambiguous and silly.
Better: In my lunch bag is a cake that Mollie baked.
Rule 8. A sentence fragment is usually an oversight, or a bad idea. It occurs when you have
only a phrase or dependent clause but are missing an independent clause.
Sentence fragment: After the show ended.
Full sentence: After the show ended, we had coffee.
Effective Writing Quiz 1

For each question, choose the better sentence.

1.
A) We are no longer able to reconcile; therefore, attorneys will be used to effect the
dissolution of our marriage.
B) We have hired attorneys to help us with our divorce.

2.
A) Our boat capsized in the storm, so we needed rescuing.
B) The weather had adverse impacts on our boat resulting in the necessity to
rescue us from the water.

3.
A) Our marriage ended in a divorce.
B) We divorced.

4.
A) Martina could not find time to walk the dogs, work, and a shopping spree.
B) Martina could not find time to walk the dogs, work, and shop.

5.
A) It is a shame that there are so many holidays that go uncelebrated.
B) It is a shame that so many holidays go uncelebrated.

6.
A) While singing in the shower, the bar of soap slipped from her hands.
B) The bar of soap slipped from her hands while she sang in the shower.
7.
A) When we looked back, we saw the dog following us.
B) Looking back, the dog was following us.
8.
A) Lying on a stretcher, they carried him out.
B) He was carried out on a stretcher.
9.

A) He grabbed the papers as they flew out the window.

B) Flying out the window, he grabbed the papers.
10.
A) As I stepped off the bus, I saw the shopping center just ahead.
B) Stepping off the bus, the shopping center was just ahead.
 Answer Key Effective Writing Quiz 1

1. Correct Answer: B We have hired attorneys to help us with our divorce.

Explanation: use concrete rather than vague language.

2. Correct Answer: A Our boat capsized in the storm, so we needed rescuing.

Explanation: use concrete rather than vague language.

3. Correct Answer: B We divorced.

Explanation: use active voice whenever possible.

4. Correct Answer: B Martina could not find time to walk the dogs, work, and shop.
Explanation: Use similar grammatical form when offering several ideas. This is called parallel
construction.

5. Correct Answer: B It is a shame that so many holidays go uncelebrated.

Explanation: avoid overusing there is, there are, it is, it was, and so on.

6. Correct Answer: B The bar of soap slipped from her hands while she sang in the shower.
Explanation: If you start a sentence with a modifying word or phrase, place the modified person
or thing immediately after. If that is awkward, rewrite the sentence (as was done here).
Otherwise you will have created a dangling modifier.

7. Correct Answer: A When we looked back, we saw the dog following us.
Explanation: see Explanation 6.

8. Correct Answer: B He was carried out on a stretcher.

Explanation: see Explanation 6.

9. Correct Answer: A He grabbed the papers as they flew out the window.
Explanation: see Explanation 6.

10. Correct Answer: A As I stepped off the bus, I saw the shopping center just ahead.
Explanation: see Explanation 6.
Revise the following sentences.

1. She worked quickly and in an efficient manner.

She worked quickly and efficiently.

2. When working with power tools, eyes should be protected.

When working with power tools, he protected his eyes.

3. When changing a diaper, a baby should be relaxed and comfortable.

When changing a diaper, I make sure the baby is relaxed and comfortable.

4. I have some letters the mail carrier delivered in my purse.

The mail carrier delivered some letters that I have in my purse.

5. We have tuna casserole I made in the refrigerator.

In the refrigerator, we have tuna casserole that I made.

6. It is necessary that you not be uninformed about this case.

You must be informed about this case.

7. Speaking and to listen well are important elements of communication.

Speaking and listening well are important elements of communication. OR To speak and
to listen well are important communication elements.

8. To win is the obvious goal, but playing fair is important too.

Winning is the obvious goal, but playing fair is important too. OR To win is the obvious
goal, but to play fair is important too.

9. They were charged with assault, robbery, and they forged some checks.
They were charged with assault, robbery, and check forgery.

10. I remember his generosity and that he was considerate.

I remember his generosity and consideration.
Subject-Verb Agreement

NOTE
We will use the standard of underlining subjects once and verbs twice.

Being able to find the right subject and verb will help you correct errors of subject-verb
agreement.

Basic Rule. A singular subject (she, Bill, car) takes a singular verb (is, goes, shines), whereas
a plural subject takes a plural verb.
Example: The list of items is/are on the desk.
If you know that list is the subject, then you will choose is for the verb.

Rule 1. A subject will come before a phrase beginning with of. This is a key rule for
understanding subjects. The word of is the culprit in many, perhaps most, subject-verb
mistakes.

Hasty writers, speakers, readers, and listeners might miss the all-too-common mistake in the
following sentence:
Incorrect: A bouquet of yellow roses lend color and fragrance to the room.
Correct: A bouquet of yellow roses lends . . . (bouquet lends, not roses lend)

Rule 2. Two singular subjects connected by or, either/or, or neither/nor require a singular
verb.
Examples:
My aunt or my uncle is arriving by train today.
Neither Juan nor Carmen is available.
Either Kiana or Casey is helping today with stage decorations.

Rule 3. The verb in an or, either/or, or neither/nor sentence agrees with the noun or pronoun
closest to it.
Examples:
Neither the plates nor the serving bowl goes on that shelf.
Neither the serving bowl nor the plates go on that shelf.
This rule can lead to bumps in the road. For example, if I is one of two (or more) subjects, it
could lead to this odd sentence:
Awkward: Neither she, my friends, nor I am going to the festival.
If possible, it's best to reword such grammatically correct but awkward sentences.
Better:
Neither she, I, nor my friends are going to the festival.
OR
She, my friends, and I are not going to the festival.

Rule 4. As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are
connected by and.
Example: A car and a bike are my means of transportation.
But note these exceptions:
 Exceptions:
Breaking and entering is against the law.
The bed and breakfast was charming.
In those sentences, breaking and entering and bed and breakfast are compound nouns.

Rule 5a. Sometimes the subject is separated from the verb by such words as along with, as
well as, besides, not, etc. These words and phrases are not part of the subject. Ignore them
and use a singular verb when the subject is singular.
Examples:
The politician, along with the newsmen, is expected shortly.
Excitement, as well as nervousness, is the cause of her shaking.

Rule 5b. Parentheses are not part of the subject.

Example: Joe (and his trusty mutt) was always welcome.
If this seems awkward, try rewriting the sentence.

Rule 6. In sentences beginning with here or there, the true subject follows the verb.
Examples:
There are four hurdles to jump.
There is a high hurdle to jump.
Here are the keys.
NOTE:
The word there's, a contraction of there is, leads to bad habits in informal sentences
like There's a lot of people here today, because it's easier to say "there's" than "there are."
Take care never to use there's with a plural subject.

Rule 7. Use a singular verb with distances, periods of time, sums of money, etc., when
considered as a unit.
Examples:
Three miles is too far to walk.
Five years is the maximum sentence for that offense.
Ten dollars is a high price to pay.
BUT
Ten dollars (i.e., dollar bills) were scattered on the floor.

Rule 8. With words that indicate portionse.g., a lot, a majority, some, allRule 1 given
earlier in this section is reversed, and we are guided by the noun after of. If the noun after of is
singular, use a singular verb. If it is plural, use a plural verb.
Examples:
A lot of the pie has disappeared.
A lot of the pies have disappeared.
A third of the city is unemployed.
A third of the people are unemployed.
All of the pie is gone.
All of the pies are gone.
Some of the pie is missing.
Some of the pies are missing.
 NOTE
In recent years, the SAT testing service has considered none to be strictly singular. However,
according to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage: "Clearly none has been both
singular and plural since Old English and still is. The notion that it is singular only is a myth of
unknown origin that appears to have arisen in the 19th century. If in context it seems like a
singular to you, use a singular verb; if it seems like a plural, use a plural verb. Both are
acceptable beyond serious criticism." When none is clearly intended to mean "not one," it is
followed by a singular verb.

Rule 10. The word were replaces was in sentences that express a wish or are contrary to fact:
Example: If Joe were here, you'd be sorry.
Shouldn't Joe be followed by was, not were, given that Joe is singular? But Joe isn't actually
here, so we say were, not was. The sentence demonstrates the subjunctive mood, which is
used to express things that are hypothetical, wishful, imaginary, or factually contradictory. The
subjunctive mood pairs singular subjects with what we usually think of as plural verbs.
Examples:
I wish it were Friday.
She requested that he raise his hand.
In the first example, a wishful statement, not a fact, is being expressed; therefore, were, which
we usually think of as a plural verb, is used with the singular subject I.

Normally, he raise would sound terrible to us. However, in the second example, where a
request is being expressed, the subjunctive mood is correct.

Note: The subjunctive mood is losing ground in spoken English but should still be used in
formal speech and writing.
Subject and Verb Agreement Quiz 1

For each of the following, choose the sentence in which the subjects and verbs have been
correctly identified and in which the subjects and verbs agree. The subjects are in bold and the
verbs are underlined.

1.
A) At the end of the story, they was living happily ever after.
B) At the end of the story, they were living happily ever after.
C) At the end of the story, they were living happily ever after.
D) At the end of the story, they was living happily ever after.
2.
A) Al and Eli go to the beach to surf with their friends.
B) Al and Eli go to the beach to surf with their friends.
C) Al and Eli goes to the beach to surf with their friends.
D) Al and Eli goes to the beach to surf with their friends.
3.
A) When Al and Eli arrive, they find that their friends has waxed their boards.
B) When Al and Eli arrive, they find that their friends has waxed their boards.
C) When Al and Eli arrive, they find that their friends have waxed their boards.
D) When Al and Eli arrive, they find that their friends have waxed their boards.
4.
A) A group of children from that school are not being cooperative.
B) A group of children from that school is not being cooperative.
C) A group of children from that school is not being cooperative.
D) A group of children from that school are not being cooperative.
5.
A) Unless our staff members really do cooperate, we will not meet our goals.
B) Unless our staff members really do cooperate, we will not meet our goals.
C) Unless our staff members really do cooperate, we will not meet our goals.
D) Unless our staff members really do cooperate, we will not meet our goals.

6.
A) Either Gary or I am responsible for allocating the funds.
B) Either Gary or I are responsible for allocating the funds.
C) Either Gary or I am responsible for allocating the funds.
D) Either Gary or I are responsible for allocating the funds.

7.
A) Neither she nor they were willing to predict the election results.
B) Neither she nor they was willing to predict the election results.
C) Neither she nor they was willing to predict the election results.
D) Neither she nor they were willing to predict the election results.

8.
A) Nora is one of the candidates who are worthy of my vote.
B) Nora is one of the candidates who is worthy of my vote.
C) Nora is one of the candidates who are worthy of my vote.
 D) Nora is one of the candidates who is worthy of my vote.

9.
A) Nora, of all the candidates who are running, is the best.
B) Nora, of all the candidates who are running, is the best.
C) Nora, of all the candidates who is running, is the best.
D) Nora, of all the candidates who is running, is the best.

10.
A) My problem, which is minor in comparison with others, exists because I
dropped out of high school.
B) My problem, which is minor in comparison with others, exist because I
dropped out of high school.
C) My problem, which is minor in comparison with others, exists because I
dropped out of high school.
D) My problem, which is minor in comparison with others, exist because I dropped
out of high school.

11.
A) His dogs, which is kept outside, bark all day long.
B) His dogs, which is kept outside, bark all day long.
C) His dogs, which are kept outside, bark all day long.
D) His dogs, which are kept outside, bark all day long.
Answer Key SVA Quiz 1

1. Correct Answer: C At the end of the story, they were living happily ever after.
Explanation: they is the subject of were living.

2. Correct Answer: B Al and Eli go to the beach to surf with their friends.
Explanation: Al and Eli are the subjects of go.

3. Correct Answer: D When Al and Eli arrive, they find that their friends have waxed
their boards.
Explanation: Al and Eli are the subjects of arrive; they is the subject of find;
friends is the subject of have waxed.

4. Correct Answer: C A group of children from that school is not being cooperative.
Explanation: group is a collective noun, which takes the singular verb is being.

5. Correct Answer: B Unless our staff members really do cooperate, we will not meet
our goals.
Explanation: members is the subject of the verb do cooperate.

6. Correct Answer: C Either Gary or I am responsible for allocating the funds.

Explanation: when two subjects are connected by or and the second subject is I, use the
singular verb am.

7. Correct Answer: A Neither she nor they were willing to predict the election results.
Explanation: when a singular subject and a plural subject are connected by nor, the
noun closer to the verb (were) determines whether the verb is singular or plural.

8. Correct Answer: A Nora is one of the candidates who are worthy of my vote.
Explanation: in this sentence, who refers to candidates, so the correct verb is are.

9. Correct Answer: B Nora, of all the candidates who are running, is the best.
Explanation: Nora is the subject of the main clause: Nora is the best; who refers to
candidates, so the correct verb is are running.

10. Correct Answer: C My problem, which is minor in comparison with others, exists
because I dropped out of high school.
Explanation: problem is the subject of exists; which is the subject of is; I is the
subject of the phrasal verb dropped out.

11. Correct Answer: D His dogs, which are kept outside, bark all day long.
Explanation: dogs is the subject of bark; which is the subject of are kept.