NATIONAL LAW INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY, BHOPAL

Project

Subject: Sociology – II

Trimester 2

Topic: Marriage And Mate Selection In India

Submitted to: -
Submitted by: -

Prof. (Dr.) Bir Pal Singh Venkatesh Sahu

(2018BALLB18)

Mohit Tekam

(2018BALLB31)

Mahesh Rawat

(2018BALLB51)

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Table of Contents
CERTIFICATE..............................................................................................................................................................3
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT .............................................................................................................................................4
METHOD OF STUDY ..................................................................................................................................................5
REVIEW OF LITERATURE ........................................................................................................................................5
INTRODUCTION .........................................................................................................................................................6
HINDU MARRIAGE ....................................................................................................................................................8
Problems of Mate Selection ......................................................................................................................................... 13
Factors of Social Change .........................................................................................................................................13
Role Behavior ..........................................................................................................................................................14
Religion ...................................................................................................................................................................16
Division of Labor.....................................................................................................................................................17
Prolonged Infant Dependency .................................................................................................................................17
Caste ........................................................................................................................................................................18
Age ..........................................................................................................................................................................20
Education .................................................................................................................................................................20
Family status ............................................................................................................................................................22
Personality ...............................................................................................................................................................22
Personal Traits .........................................................................................................................................................23
CONCLUSION ........................................................................................................................................................... 24

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CERTIFICATE

This is to certify that the research paper on Marriage and Mate Selection In India has been
prepared and submitted by Venkatesh Sahu, Mohit Tekam, and Mahesh Rawat, who are
currently pursuing their BALLB. (Hons.) at National Law Institute University, Bhopal in
fulfilment of Sociology – II course. It is also certified this is original research report and this
paper has not been submitted to any other university, nor published in any journal date –

Signature of the student ……………………………

Signature of the research supervisor …………………………...……

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 ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

On completion of this Project it is our esteemed privilege to acknowledge our

profound gratitude and indebtedness towards many people for their valuable
suggestions and constructive criticism. Their precious guidance and unrelenting
support kept us on the right track throughout the project. We gratefully
acknowledge our deepest sense of gratitude to: Prof. (Dr.) V. Vijayakumar,
National Law Institute University, Bhopal for providing us with the infrastructure
and the means to make this project; Our Sociology teacher, Dr. Bir Pal Singh, who
provided me this wonderful opportunity and guided us throughout the project
work. We would also like to thank our batch mates and seniors for their constant
help and guidance which helped me in completing this project. We are also
thankful to the library and computer staffs of the University for helping us find and
select books from the University library. Finally, we are thankful to our family
members and friends for the affection and encouragement with which doing this
project became a pleasure.

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METHOD OF STUDY

This Research Project is descriptive in nature. Accumulation of the information on the topic
include wide use of secondary sources like books, e-articles etc. The matter from these sources
have been compiled and analysed to understand the concept from the grass root level.

Websites, dictionaries and articles have also been referred.

The structure of the project, as instructed by the Faculty of Sociology has been adhered to and
the same has been helpful in giving the project a fine finish off.

REVIEW OF LITERATURE

1. Marriage and Family Life Satisfaction: by Ubesekera D. M, “Marriage is one of the

most intense human relationships. The quality of this relationship is continually
redefined by spouses and is potentially crucial to their overall experience of family
life”. The universality of marriage does not mean that everybody in every society gets
married. It means only that most people in every society get married at least once in
their life time.

2. Gillin and Gillin: by Rao, “Marriage is a socially approved way of establishing a

family of procreation”. s. On the contrary, there is much variation from society to
society in how one marries, whom one marries, and how many persons one marries.
The universal culture about marriage is that no society permits people to marry parents,
brothers, or sisters. Marriage is an institution of society which can have very different
cultures.

3. Marriage Form and Family: by Murayama, “there were two different patterns
standardization in marriage behavior in Germany, one being the historical consequence
of official institutionalization and the other occurring as a process on a macroeconomic
level and resulting in a concentration of age at marriage around a mean age”.

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INTRODUCTION

Marriage in India is regarded as one of the most significant life-cycle rituals and is a familial and
societal expectation for Hindus. In traditional Hindu society, marriage was considered a
sacrament and not a contract and therefore was expected to be for life. It is important to point out
that vivaha (wedding) is generally obligatory for all individuals. According to Kanailal Kapadia
(1966), the primary aim of a Hindu marriage is dharma praja (progeny, particularly sons)
and rati (pleasure). Furthermore, marriage is regarded not only as a union of two individuals, but
also as the union of two families, making them almost like blood relatives. Marriages are
religiously, economically, politically, and socially oriented and they are generally arranged by
the elders and extended family members (Chekki 1996; Sureender, Prabakaran, and Khan 1998).

Even in contemporary Indian society, Hindus consider marriage as a social and cultural
obligation and a contract for life. Marriage is not viewed as a means to attain personal happiness
nor as a means of sharing your life with a person you love. Instead, the basic qualities of family
unity, family togetherness, family harmony, family cohesiveness, and sharing of common family
goals, values, and a way of life are of significant importance, and personal considerations are
secondary. That the couple is not in love with each other or that the two partners are not
physically attracted to one another or the possibility that the two do not have too much in
common are not considerations because love is expected to come after marriage (Medora 2002).
It is customary for individuals to marry within their religion, caste, and subcaste.

Most marriages in India are arranged to a greater or lesser extent. Even among the educated
middle- and upper-class families from urban areas, marriage is as much a concern of the families
as it is of the individual (Mullatti 1995; Nanda 1995). Most Indian youths do not believe that
they have the experience, knowledge, or wisdom to select a prospective mate. They also do not
believe that it is essential to date many partners to pick the right spouse. The type of family that
the prospective spouse comes from is given primary consideration, along with occupational and
cultural compatibility. Educational and social class homogamy of the family are also qualities
taken into consideration by the respective parents on both sides (Nanda 1995)

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The last decades of the twentieth century brought an increasing trend to consult and get input from
the children regarding their marriage. Typically, parents or kin select a prospective pool of
eligible partners who have been screened by them first to ensure a similar social, cultural,
educational, and economic background. One of the most common ways in which the partners are
often selected is from among the children of friends and extended family who have a similar
socioeconomic background (Medora 2002).

The use of matrimonial advertisements is increasing and thus becoming an integral part of the
mate selection process (Banerjee 1999; Das 1980; Nanda 1995). Advertisements are placed in
the newspaper because it is likely to attract a wide readership. Screening is first done on the basis
of photographs. Next, the young adults are allowed to meet and talk over the phone, and
occasionally go out with a chaperone who is usually an adult family member who accompanies
the young couple while they are trying to determine the person with whom they are most
compatible. While this exchange is occurring, marriage is foremost on the minds of both partners
and all forms of premarital sex are discouraged (Medora 2002). After the couple go out a few
times, the male generally proposes to the woman. If the woman accepts the proposal, the
respective parents are informed about their children's decisions. 1

Before the engagement is announced to friends and the marriage finalized, most Hindu families
consult an astrologer to ensure that the two prospective partners are well suited for each other
(Sureender, Prabakaran, and Khan 1998). The astrologer matches the two horoscopes and
predicts whether the couple will be compatible and happy, enjoy good health, enjoy financial
success, and, most importantly, have children. Indians are fatalistic and believe their lives are
predestined, their fates preordained, and that they are helpless as far as choice is concerned, and
therefore they must succumb to the celestial forces of the universe (Gupta 1976).

1
India - Mate Selection and Marriage - Family, Family, and Life - JRank
Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/860/India-Mate-Selection-Marriage.html#ixzz4tUetI0S.

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 HINDU MARRIAGE

The institution of Hindu marriage occupies a prominent place in the social institutions of the
civilized world. Hindu marriage can be defined as religious sacrament in which a man and
woman are bound in permanent relationship for physical, social and spiritual purposes of
dharma, procreation and sexual pleasure. Thus, Hindu marriage is not merely a social contract
but a religious sacrament. It results in more or less permanent relationship between a man and
woman. Its aim is not merely physical pleasure but spiritual advancement. It is not merely an
individual function but has social importance.
Its ideals are fulfillment of Dharma, procreation and enjoyment of sexual pleasure. It exhibits an
integral approach to this social institution.

Aims of the Hindu Marriage

1. Fulfillment of Dharma or religious duties: According to the Hindu scriptures marriage is the
basis of all religious activities. In the words of K.M. Kapadia “marriage being thus primarily for
the fulfillment of duties, the basic aim of marriage was Dharma.” According to Mahabharata,
“wife is very source of the Purusharthas , not only of Dharma, Artha and Kama but even of
Moksha. Those that have wives can fulfill their due obligations in this world; those that have
wives can be happy, and those that have wives can lead a full life.”
2. Procreation: In the Hindu family, the child is given a very important place.
According to Rigveda, the husband accepts the palm of the wife in order to get a high breed
progeny. According to Manu, the chief aim of marriage is procreation.
3. Sexual Pleasure: According to Manu, marriage is a asocial institution for the regulation of
proper relation between the sexes. The Hindu scriptures have compared the sexual pleasure with
the realization of divine bliss. According to Vatsyayan sexual pleasure is the chief aim of the
marriage. A maiden who has attained youth should herself get married without waiting for the
assistance of elders.

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Forms of Hindu Marriage
The Hindu scriptures admit the following eight forms of marriage:

1. Brahma marriage: In this form of marriage the girl, decorated with clothes and ornaments, is
given in marriage to a learned and gentle bridegroom. This is the prevalent form of marriage in
Hindu society today.
2. Prajapatya marriage: In this form of marriage the daughter is offered to the bride-groom by
blessing them with the enjoyment of marital bliss and the fulfilment of dharma.
3. Aarsh marriage: In this form of marriage a rishi used to accept a girl in marriage after giving a
cow or bull and some clothes to the parents of the girl.(id.III,29).
These articles were not the price of the bride but indicated the resolve of the rishi to lead a house-
hold life. According to P.K.Acharya the word aarsh has been derived from the word rishi.
4. Daiva Marriage: In this form of marriage the girl, decorated with ornaments and clothes, was
offered to the person who conducted the function of a Purohit in yajna.
5. Asura marriage: In this form of marriage the bride-groom gets the bride in exchange of some
money or articles given to the family members of the bride. Such form of marriage was
conducted in the case of marriage of Pandu with Madri. Gandharva marriage: This form is
marriage is the result of mutual affection and love of the bride and the bride-groom. An example
of this type of marriage is the marriage of the King Dushyanata with Shakuntala. In this form of
marriage the ceremonies can be performed after sexual relationship between the bride and the
bride-groom. In Taittariya Samhita it has been pointed out that this type of marriage has been so
named because of its prevalence among the Gandharvas.
6. Rakshas marriage: This type of marriage was prevalent in the age when women were
considered to be the prize of the war. In this type of marriage the bride-groom takes away the
bride from her house forcibly after killing and injuring her relatives.
7. Paisach marriage: This type of marriage has been called to be most degenerate. In this type
man enters into sexual relationship with a sleeping, drunk or unconscious woman. Such acts were
regularised after the performance of marriage ceremony which took place after physical
relationship between the man and woman.
About the present conditions of the above mentioned forms, Dr. D.N. Majumdar has said, “Hindu
society now recognises only two forms, the Brahma, and the Asura, the higher castes preferring
the former, the backward castes the latter, though here and there among the higher castes the
Asura practice has not died out. This view rightly describes the present position of the traditional
forms of Hindu marriage.
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Conditions for a Hindu Marriage
A marriage may be solemnized between any two Hindus, if the following conditions are fulfilled,
namely-
1. Neither party has a spouse living at the time of the marriage;
2. At the time of the marriage, neither party-
3. Is incapable of giving a valid consent to it in consequence of unsoundness of mind; or
4. Though capable of giving a valid consent, has been suffering from mental disorder of such a
kind or to such an extent as to be unfit for marriage and the procreation of children; or
5. Has been subject to recurrent attacks of insanity. The bridegroom has completed the age of
twenty-one years and the bride the age of eighteen years at the time of the marriage;
6. The parties are not within the degrees of prohibited relationship, unless the custom or usage
governing each of them permits of a marriage between the two;
7. The parties are not sapindas of each other, unless the custom or usage governing each of them
permits of a marriage between the two.

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HINDU MARRIAGE ACT,1955
This act applies to all members of Hindu society. It has made the following important changes in
the institution of Hindu marriage:
• Classification of Hindu marriage: According to this act, Hindu marriage can be divided
into three classes – void, voidable and valid
• Determination of the age for marriages: by the provisions of this act, the minimum age
limit for the boys and girls has been fixed at 18 and 15 years respectively.
• Provision for monogamy: According to this act, a Hindu male or female can enter into
matrimony only if no spouse of either is alive at the time of the marriage. Thus, Section 5
and Clause 1 of this Act provide for monogamy in Hindu society.
• Provision for the Guardianship of the Mother: According to this act, the mother will be
considered as the legal guardian of the minor son or daughter after the father.
• Provison for Divorce: This act provides for divorce by wife or husband under certain
specific circumstances.

SPECIAL MARRIAGE ACT, 1954

Section 4 of the Special Marriage Act 1954 lays down conditions for solemnisation of special
marriages. It states:
Conditions relating to solemnization of special marriages. – A marriage between any two persons
may be solemnized under this Act, if at the time of marriage the following conditions are
fulfilled, namely:
1. Neither party has a spouse living;
2. Neither party-
3. Is incapable of giving a valid consent to it in consequence of unsoundness of mind; or
4. Though incapable of giving a valid consent, has been suffering from a mental disorder of such
a kind or to such an extent as to be unfit for marriage and the procreation of children; or has been
subject to recurrent attacks of insanity;
• The male has completed the age of twenty-one years and the female the age of
eighteen years;
• The parties are not within the degrees of prohibited relationship;
• Where the marriage is solemnized in the state of Jammu and Kashmir, both parties are
citizens of India domiciled in the territories to which this Act extends.

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Modern Changes in the Hindu Marriage
Due to the influence of Western culture and English education the Hindu marriage system has
undergone considerable changes. Some of the important ones are:
• Marriage is not held as compulsory: In the Hindu society formerly marriage was
considered to be absolutely compulsory for both male and female. According to Hindu
scriptures, a person who does not beget a son through marriage cannot attain heaven. No
man could perform ‘yajna’ without a wife. Marriage therefore was necessary even for
religious purposes. But, due to influence of Western culture many males and females do
not consider marriage to be necessary these days. Due to economic difficulties also some
persons do not enter into matrimony. The modern educated Hindu girl is not ready to
accept the slavery of male. The educated men and women do not believe in the ancient
religious values and therefore do not consider marriage to be necessary. Breaking of the
taboos of Sagotra and Sapravar marriage: Ancient Hindu tradition forbids the marriage of
persons belonging to same Gotra and Pravar. This very much restricts the field of choice
of mate. Therefore, at the present the educated persons are gradually violating the
restriction. It has been also rejected by law.
• Opposition of Child Marriages: In medieval India the custom of child marriage was very
much in vogue. After the passing of Sarada Act child marriages have become illegal.
Another factor leading to the restriction of child marriage in Hindu society is the
tremendous increase of women education. The boys do not marry early because of late
settlement in career.
• Permission of Inter-caste Marriage: Formerly, inter-caste marriage was considered to be
wrong in the Hindu society. It has now been legally permitted. With the increase of co-
education, women education and the democratic ideal of equality and liberty, inter-caste
marriages are now considered to be signs of forwardness.
• Permission of Widow Remarriage: due to the untiring efforts of the social reformers and
educated persons widow remarriage is no more considered to be wrong in Hindu society.
Consequently, its incidence is now on the decrease.
• Prohibition of Polygamy: Formerly, a man was allowed to marry several women in order
to get a son. With the increase of women education the ladies are demanding equal rights
in marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 has declared polygamy to be illegal. No one
can marry a second time, while the former spouse is alive.

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 Problems of Mate Selection

Factors of Social Change

Two basic social factors are at the heart of most problems dealing with mate selection the pace of
social change and the differential way in which male and female are reared in our society. Our
problem related to the social change factor is finding a rewarding mate in a different type of
society and therefore using different criteria than has been used in the past. We have an increase
in population which is living in a mass society.

Traditionally in small towns everybody knew everybody else, creating external pressure for
social control. One achieved higher status by becoming old and who you were was more
important than what you could do. For economic reasons the family had much influence on mate
selection. Today in the big city where few people know one another, there is a high degree of
anonomity. The vigorous, young and in- formed have status. Mate selection is a personal choice
made not on the basis of economics, but sentiment. Sentiment is defined as a feeling within you
that draws you to- wards another person.

In the depersonalized mass society the individual must find in the family or other relationship
some- body who satisfies the basic human needs of having self -esteem and opportunity for
tension release. The unmarried urbanite sometimes finds vicarious satisfaction by reading
romantic writings or by substituting pets or by withdrawing into a dream world. Others deviate
from the traditional pattern by "shacking-up." Some whose needs are not met, withdraw
completely through suicide. In describing an anatomy of interpersonal sentiment, first is altruism
or caring. Five developmental stages in becoming altruistic are: receiving, manipulation, com -
promise, sharing, and creative cooperation. Altruism is the broad interpersonal basis for
successful mate selection. Youth needs to have all sorts of experiences which help him to become
other-oriented and to really care for another person. Those who remain immature in this regard
are relatively un- marriageable. The second dimension is companionship, the basis of which lies
in shared human values. We like people who have the same types of values we do; these people
usually have had the same types of experiences from which the similar values came.

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Associating with others who hold similar values is rewarding since it provides a validation of
ourselves and enhances communication ease. Sex is the "frosting on the cake." It is an essential
and important ingredient in any marriage, but it has to be on a foundation of something that is
more stable and concrete. A second problem related to the factor of social change is the matter of
ego rejection. The dating pattern in our society forces young people to throw their ego out on a
line and say "will you accept me or not?" This is a threatening thing. We need to try to assur e
young people that a certain amount of failure is par for the course. Those who have had the most
dating experience tend to be more successful in having other people like them. Ones who with-
draw or limit their opportunities never are really quite sure whether they married the best person
in the world for them, for it takes a contrast in order to appreciate what one has.

There is for some, however, a danger in becoming so skilled in the dating experience that it is
like turning on an automatic pilot. Such relationships are superficial. Our dating process doesn't
lead to stability in marriage.

Role Behavior

The differential way in which the male and female are reared in our society is a second ma jor
force affecting mate selection. Today the male child learns that masculinity is the equivalent of
anti-femininity or what Mom and girls are not. Whatever girls do, he feels that to be a man, he
must do the opposite. Our society puts a tremendous push on the boy to shift his identity away
from the mother. A feeling of male superiority is the compensation for making it all worthwhile
to go to the trouble of shifting identity from the mother to the father. Girls who are successful in
dating and marriage must learn how to cope with the swollen male ego. Anthropological studies
show role behavior to be culturally determined. In our culture the father serves as masculine role
model for the son and makes clear the relevance of the mother as an appropriate role model for
the daughter. Fathers who are successful in raising masculine boys and feminine girls have a
nurturing relationship with children of each sex, but are more demanding with the son.

The dad needs to communicate to the boy a feeling of "I love you, you little rascal." In families
where the father is absent or weak, the boy is more likely to have a feeling of insecurity with
regard to his own masculinity. The more insecure he feels the more he compulsively overplays
the masculine role by acting unfeminine.

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 He falls victim to the myth of masculine superiority. Some males tend to act out their insecurity
through sexual aggression. Even though he may have been taught that this is not the way to act, a
young man will make up stories in the dormitory to make it appear that he is able to conquer all
his women. Ironically the sexually aggessive male sometimes makes the worst sex part cause sex
hasn't the fuller social, psychological and symbolic dimensions to this person that is really
deserved in a deep and meaningful marital relationship.6

In the family the male can be made to feel more secure about his masculinity by helping him
recognize that he can still be a man and do such traditionally feminine things as wash the dishes.
When a man can accept and enjoy some activites which traditionally have not been considered in
the masculine realm, then he does not feel compelled to overplay the masculine role.
Communities may help by teaching mothers to understand the psychology of the male and the
normalcy of the male rejection of the mother and her role.

The mother's major role in the development of sexual identity in her son is to recommend the
father to the child as a worthy adult. Males and females are not becoming more alike, as some
people would have us believe. Those who deviate from the traditional stereotypes are merely
more visible. There is more tolerance for such deviations today. Although the case is not
altogether clear that men are the superior sex, women appear to have more durable bodies. We
just condition men to pretend they do; they are supposed to say it doesn't hurt when injured on
the football field.

As children, girls test more intellectual than boys, but we reduce their productivity by the
protective way we rear girls. Empathic ability is another area in which girls typically excel.
Some traits are functional for our society as ideal masculine and feminine roles. Traditionally the
male has taken care of the instrumental functions relating to surviving in their environment. The
woman's role is primarily expressive, which is keeping the family emotionally intact. Although
the wife and mother may enter the labor force, traditionally a male role, she apparently does not
want to relinquish her expressive function. This "division of labor" has served society well, not
only in families but in every small group.

6
William J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns, The Free Press, 1963.
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 The problem in most interpersonal relationships is not so much the hard reality as the
expectations we have in our minds. If women are more uncertain about their roles than men it is
because society makes a greater effort to define men's roles.7

The male is given little opportunity to deviate from the societal norm. Society appears not to
care so much about women deviating from fixed roles. Because the female has more freedom to
choose her role, she may have a harder time deciding what is more appropriate for her. In mate
selection the girl has to learn to feed the male ego. This is especially difficult for the girl who has
been taught to think independently and to be a real person rather than something less than that.
She is forced into being very cautious and conservative in the matter of mate selection. An- other
reason the girl has to be more cautious is that her decision in mate selection comes early at a time
when the boy's occupational potential is not really clear. Since all of her chances are dependent
upon in- come and the basic family status, she has to gamble.8

Religion

Indian religions and cultures are diverse and have always influenced the way people live in this
part of the world. Religion has been a very dominant influence in marriage, choice of marital
partner and cohabitation. The present paper looks at various religions in India and their influence
on sexual attitudes and the institution of marriage. Sikhism, Jainism and the Parsi faith with its
influence on sexuality and marriage are reviewed. Christian values and the role they play in
shaping sexual notions as well Christian marriage traditions are explored. The paper also looks at
the influences Islam has had on marriage and sexuality and ends with a feminist perspective on
women and sexual attitudes towards women.

A growing body of research today indicates that religions play an important role in the economic,
demographic, marital and sexual behavior of individuals and families, ranging from patterns of
employment to fertility and marital stability. Religion has been identified as a trait that is
complementary in the context of marriage and for which positive assertive mating is optimal.

7
Robert H. Coombs, The Socialization of Male and Female: Sex Status and Sex Role, in Clark E. Vincent.
8
William J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns, The Free Press, 1963. Chaps. 1 and 2, pp. 1-86.

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 Religion has also been found to effect one's choice of marital partner. Religion is known to affect
the pattern of sexual behavior one follows, attitudes towards pregnancy and premarital sex,
desired fertility and the division of labor between partners across the life-cycle. The present
chapter aims to review the effects of various of Indian religious concepts on marriage and
sexuality from an Indian perspective. In India, there are three major faiths viz. Christianity, Islam
and Hinduism.

Division of Labor
Not at all romantic, our first universal reason for marriage is division of labor, the breaking
down of labor among different persons or groups. Going very much against the sensibilities of
many in the modernized West, anthropologists note that all societies have a division of labor
based on gender. Stated a bit more simply, all societies known to man have historically given
different roles to men and women. For instance, among almost every society that survives by
hunting and gathering the men hunt and the women gather.9

With this division of labor, societies across the globe need a tool of sorts that will ensure that
men and women share the fruits of their labor. In other words, enter marriage, a way to bond the
hunters to the gatherers that will precipitate sharing. Like I said, not at all romantic. Moving a bit
more into the modern world, it's not too hard to see that the division of labor is still alive and sort
of kicking. Yes, times are a changing, but the division of labor still exists. For instance, famous
anthropologists Carol and Melvin Ember assert that regardless of where you find yourself in the
world, almost every society sees the main burden for child rearing resting on women.

Prolonged Infant Dependency

With this very large generalization, we're very well set up for our next anthropological reason for
male/female pair bonding: prolonged infant dependency. Prolonged infant dependency is the
extended time that human children are in need of total care in comparison to other mammals.

9
http://study.com/academy/lesson/marriage-choosing-a-mate-for-life.html

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Sort of along the same lines as division of labor, anthropologists assert that since almost all
societies place the main burden of child rearing on women, prolonged infant dependency makes
it difficult for women to take care of their own needs for survival. 10

In other words, it's rather hard to gather berries, plant fields, and hunt for game with two or three
children strapped to your back or gathered at your feet. For this reason, and again totally
generalizing, anthropologists would assert that marriage takes care of this problem, giving a
woman a partner of sorts to fill in these gaps as she rears children.

Caste
It is general knowledge that the caste system of India assumes a hierarchical form, with the
Brahmins at the top and the backward castes at or near the bottom. Broadly speaking, the Hindu
castes may be divided into two status categories: high-placed groups whose members are "twice-
born" ("caste Hindus") and groups whose members are "once-born" or "un- clean."

The latter are commonly referred to as the "scheduled" or "exterior" castes, which include the so -
called outcastes or "untouchables" as well as "depressed" castes somewhat above the lowest rung
of the social structure. In the first category are the castes which enjoy a comparatively high
social status albeit the various groups are by no means equal in station. Being advantaged castes,
the members often have the privileges of education and economic security. At the other extreme
are the underprivileged castes whose members are overwhelmingly illiterate and impoverished.
So pervasive is the Hindu caste system that certain other religious groups, such as the Muslims
and Christians, have incorporated caste principles into their own social organization.

Virtually all castes mentioned in the advertisements, whether by per- sons stating their own caste
affiliations or by those stating caste requirements for a spouse, referred to groups having superior
status in the hierachy. The Agarwal and Khatri castes, trading groups located mainly in
Northwest India, were mentioned most frequently. The Brahmin caste ranked third and the Arora
caste, also a trading group of the Punjab, was fourth. Among other castes included were the
Kayastha, Vaish, Jat, Naidu, Bhatia, Sudra, and Rajput (Kshatriya). The highly endogamous
character of marriage within the Indian caste system is well known.

10
http://www.yourarticlelibrary.com
Page 18 of 25
For most of the Hindu population this principle of endogamy applies not only to the larger caste
organization but usually also to the subcaste. Within the endogamous caste or subcaste is the
gotra, an exogamous group whose members trace their descent from a common mythical
ancestor. Because of this reputed kinship the rules of society demand that marriage must be
outside the gotra, just as it must be out- side the immediate family.

Yet there is evidence that the system works imperfectly, especially in the larger cities where
impersonalized relationships and individualized behavior are more acceptable.

Within the urban environment it is generally recognized that subcaste endogamous rules are
weakening even more rapidly than marriage rules applying to the larger caste organizations. Of
the 252 male advertisers, sixty-six, or about one-fourth, specifically indicated that caste would be
no bar to marriage. Somewhat more conservative were the women, of whom nineteen, or about
one-eighth, were willing to marry exogamously. One lady advertiser stated that her caste
requirements were "relaxable." In thirty-nine of the advertisements by men and thirteen by
women, caste was unmentioned either in the statement of qualifications or of specifications for a
spouse.

It appears probable that at least some of these may have been willing to marry outside their own
caste boundaries. Whether their failure to mention caste meant that their own caste status was
low the advertisements do not disclose.

There were numerous instances, however, in which the advertiser belonging to a specified high
caste expressed a willingness to marry exogamously. It is doubtful that those persons would
willingly marry into one of the "unclean" or "depressed" castes mate. The subcaste or gotra to
which the advertisers belonged was mentioned by fifty -five men, and the subcaste or gotra
requirements for a wife were specified by eighteen. Two men referred to their own status as
"high caste." Among the women advertisers, 112, or four-fifths, named their own caste and thirty-
seven, or one-fourth, specified the caste to which they expected their husband to belong. Forty-
two mentioned their own subcaste or gotra, and eighteen referred to the subcaste or gotra of their
prospective husbands.

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 Both males and females specified their own caste affiliations more frequently than they
mentioned caste requirements of their prospective spouses, but the reference to one's own caste
presumably implied that a mate of the same caste was desired, unless otherwise indicated.11

Age
As one might expect, the advertisers were mostly on the lower age levels, with the females being
somewhat younger, in general, than the males. None of the men was less than nineteen years of
age, but of those reporting age about one-fourth were from nineteen to twenty-four, one half were
from twenty-five to twenty-nine, and nearly one-fifth were thirty or over. Two were "middle-aged"
and nine were "young." Among the women specifying their own age, twenty- three were under
eighteen years, about two-fifths were between eighteen and twenty-one and the remainder were
between twenty-two and twenty-nine. None was thirty or over. Compared with the average age of
marriage of the population as a whole, the reported ages of most of the women in the sample were
above the prevailing level, which is between fourteen and eighteen. Educated girls, especially
college-trained women, are strongly disposed to postpone marriage beyond the customary age.

By such deferment they not only enjoy a longer period of freedom from marital responsibilities
but may also have a better chance of marrying an older man with a good job - "well settled," as
they say. The matrimonial advertisement is a means to this end. Obviously, there are risks
involved in this procedure because the number of marriageable males is greatly reduced on the
higher age levels. Men who defer marriage may also encounter the same type of risk, but the
prospects of enforced celibacy are much less than in the case of women. Many of the men in this
sample were well above the prevailing age of marriage.

Education
That many of the advertisers were representative of the educated classes is evident from the
academic attainments indicated in the insertions. About a third were either students or had
attended a college or university; many held college degrees. Nearly half, however, made no
reference to education; hence there was no indication of their formal educational attainments

11
JOURNAL ARTICLE By Oladeji, D.; Ariyo, Adijat Motunrayo

Page 20 of 25
although they were undoubtedly literate in English. Of the male advertisers, twenty-three stated
that they were college or university graduates, and an additional sixty, or about one fourth,
specified the degree held. The degrees were distributed as follows: A.B. or B.S., 14; M.A. or
M.S., 19; L.L.B., 12; M.B.B.S. (bachelor of medicine, bachelor of surgery) 10; B.T. (teaching) 1;
B. Com. (commerce) 1; L.D.S. (dentistry) 1; Ph.D.

Among those whose educational training was stated with less specificity were eleven who were
"educated," seven who were "highly" or "well" educated, four who were "foreign educated," and
five students. It is probable that some of these, as well as those who made no mention of
education, were college people. Like the men, the women advertisers, at least those who
mentioned education, were from the upper educational levels. Approximately one- third of the
women were reported to be college or university graduates, including twenty -three "graduates,'
thirteen with the B.A. degree, thirteen holding an M.A. degree, and five with the B.T. degree.
Eight had completed, or were taking, the intermediate (two-year) college course, and twenty
were "matrics" who had qualified by examination for college entrance. Ten were persons with
only a secondary education, and four- teen were specified only as students, most of them
presumably on college level.

One had "appeared B.A.," which suggests that she either did not pass the course or was waiting
results. In addition, nineteen stated cryptically that they were "educated," seven were "highly"
educated, and four were "moderately" educated.12

That the male advertisers attached considerable value to the educational attainments of their
prospective mates is indicated by the high percentage (45) stating their educational requirements
for wives. Of these, fifty-eight specified "educated", nineteen "highly" or "well" educated, and
six "moderately" educated; twenty-two wanted only college graduates, four required at least
some college attendance, and three wanted women with degrees in medicine (the advertisers
themselves being doctors). Whether those making no mention of education had lower standards
is not known. The women advertisers were considerably less meticulous in their educational
standards for husbands, only one-sixth of them presenting any educational requirements.

12
Dr, K. Saroja is Associate Professor, Department of Human Development, Rural
Home Science College, University of Agricultural Sciences, Dharwad.

Page 21 of 25
 Two specified that their husbands should be graduates, fifteen that they should be "educated,"
and six that they should be "highly" or "well" educated. Presumably the ability of a man to sup -
port a wife is of greater importance to most Indian women, even the educated ones, than the
amount of his education.

Family status
The frequent references in the advertisements to family status are evidence of the gap that exists
between the "haves" and the "have nots" - those who have "respectable" status and those who do
not. "Respectability" in Indian terminology has reference not to morality but to social position,
which, as in the West, has many facets and determinants. One of the important determinants is the
nature of the occupational role and the income it provides. In general, white collar and
professional occupations confer the most prestige on the individual and are therefore considered
highly respectable, whereas most of the manual occupations are below the level of respectability.
Jobs in government service are in great demand, partly because of the comparatively high incomes
they afford, partly because of the security and permanence which they provide. In the urban
marriage market the eligibility of an individual may be greatly enhanced by occupational prestige.
Whole castes, on the other hand, may be degraded because of the kind of work their members do.

Personality
Although personality characteristics figure prominently in what people want in a mate, little is
known about precisely which personality characteristics are most important, whether men and
women differ in their personality preferences, whether individual women or men differ in what
they want, and whether individuals actually get what they want. Women expresses a greater
preference than men for a wide array of socially desirable personality traits. Individuals differed in
which characteristics they desired, preferring mates who were similar to themselves and actually
obtaining mates who embodied what they desired. Finally, the personality characteristics of one's
partner significantly predicted marital and sexual dissatisfaction, most notably when the partner
was lower on Agreeableness, Emotional Stability, and Intellect-Openness than desired.

Page 22 of 25
Personal Traits
Physical attractiveness in the selection of a marriage partner is important, if the contents of
the advertisements are reliable indices. Forty- seven, or nearly one-fifth, of the male
advertisers described themselves as "handsome," eight were "tall," one was "well-built," and
one was "robust." The women advertisers placed even more emphasis upon their own
physical appearance, over half mentioning some characteristic that would presumably
enhance their chances of marriage.

Although beauty has a positive value in all strata of society, whether rural or urban, as a
factor related to marriageability, it may be somewhat subordinated in the village to such
qualities as moral virtue, industrious- ness, or occupational status. But in the city, or among
rural persons who have been influenced by urban values, it is a definite asset, especially to
marriageable women. Even in marriages contracted without advertisements, a girl's beauty
is an asset which may compensate for part or all of the dowry her family is expected to
pay.13

Physical attractiveness is also associated with lightness of complexion, which among

women particularly has considerable prestige value.4 Light coloring, in other words, is a
mark of beauty and therefore a symbol of prestige. Contrariwise, darkness of complexion
is definitely a liability for marriageable women. In the case of men it is of lesser
importance, but can hardly be considered an asset.

13
International Journal of Scientific and Research Publications, Volume 3, Issue 10, October 2013

Page 23 of 25
 CONCLUSION

The foregoing developments in the marriage system and methods of mate selection may be
viewed as a corollary of urbanism and the urban system of mass communication. They could
hardly occur in a strictly rural or folk society where communication was direct and personal.
As the Indian population becomes increasingly concentrated in cities, and as the urban value
systems penetrate the social structure of the rural hinterlands, it is probable that
individualization of behavior in many spheres of life will be viewed approvingly, especially
by the younger generations. The two-way traffic between India and the West has greatly
increased in volume, and persons involved in this international movement become, wittingly
or otherwise, carriers of ideas. The impact of these influences may well be manifest in
disorganization of family and caste, two important pillars of the Indian social system.

A possible reaction against these trends may occur of course, in the form of intense
nationalism, a rising tide of resistance to western influences, and a movement to restore and
strengthen the traditional Hindu culture through the formation of a theocratic state.

The Hindu Mahasabha, an intensely nationalistic movement already making itself felt in
political circles, is ideologically committed to a thoroughly Hinduized India. But the changes
in the social system, whatever they may be, will probably come slowly, at least to the rural
parts of India, certainly to those villages whose social and geographic isolation provide an
insulation against the currents of urban culture.

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 BIBLIOGRAPHY

1. India - Mate Selection and Marriage - Family, Family, and Life – Jrank.
2. Edward, D. A (2014). "The description of mate choice". Behavioral Ecology.
3. Halliday, T. R (1983). "The study of mate choice". Mate Choice
4. Williams, G. C. 1975. Sex and evolution. Princeton University Press, Princeton, N.J.
5. Andersson, M. 1994. Sexual Selection, Princeton University Press.
6. William J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns, The Free Press, 1963.
7. Robert H. Coombs, The Socialization of Male and Female: Sex Status and Sex Role,
in Clark E. Vincent.
8. William J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns, The Free Press, 1963.
Chaps. 1 and 2, p1-86.
9. Problems of Choosing a Mate Available on:
http://study.com/academy/lesson/marriage-choosing-a-mate-for-life.html.
10. http://www.yourarticlelibrary.com
11. Dr, K. Saroja is Associate Professor, Department of Human Development, Rural
Home Science College, University of Agricultural Sciences, Dharwad.

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