Thousand Cranes

By: Yasunari Kawabata

Chapter 1 Some ten days later, Kikuji heard his mother
telling his father, as if it were an extraordinary secret
Even when he reached Kamakura and the
of which he could not have known, that Chikako was
Engakuji Temple, Kikuji did not know whether or not
unmarried because of the birthmark. There was
he would go to the tea ceremony. He was already late.
compassion in her eyes.
He received an announcement whenever Kurimoto
‘Oh?’ Kikuji’s father nodded in apparent surprise.
Chikako offered tea at the inner cottage of the
‘But it wouldn’t matter, would it, if her husband were to
Engakuji. He had not once gone since his father’s
see it? Especially if he knew of it before he married her?’
death, however. He thought of the announcements as
‘That’s exactly what I said to her. But after all a woman
no more than formal gestures in memory of his father.
is a woman. I don’t think I would ever be able to tell a man
This time there had been a postscript: she wanted
that I had a big mark on my breast.’
him to meet a young lady to whom she was giving tea
‘But she’s hardly young anymore.’
lessons.
‘Still it wouldn’t be easy. A man with a birthmark could
As he read it, Kikuji thought of Chikako’s
probably get married and just laugh when he was found
birthmark. Had he been eight, perhaps, or nine? He
out.’
had been taken by his father to visit Chikako, and they
‘Did you see the mark?’
had found her in the breakfast room. Her kimono was
‘Don’t be silly. Of course not.’
open. She was cutting the hair on her birthmark with
‘You just talked about it?’
a small pair of scissors. It covered half the left breast
‘She came for my lesson, and we talked about all sorts
and ran down into the hollow between the breasts, as
of things. I suppose she felt like confessing.’
large as the palm of one’s hand. Hair seemed to be
Kikuji’s father was silent.
growing on the purple-black mark, and Chikako was
‘Suppose she were to marry. What would the man
in process of cutting it.
think?’
‘You brought the boy with you?’
‘He’d probably be disgusted by it. But he might find
In surprise, she snatched at the neck of her
something attractive in it, in having it for a secret. And
kimono. Then, perhaps because haste only
then again the defect might bring out good points. Anyway,
complicated her efforts to cover herself, she turned
it’s hardly a problem worth worrying about.’
slightly away and carefully tucked kimono into obi.
‘I told her it was no problem at all. But it’s on the breast,
The surprise must have been less at Kikuji’s father
she says.’
than at Kikuji. Since a maid had met them at the door,
‘Oh?’
Chikako must have known at least that Kikuji’s father
‘The hardest thing would be having a child to nurse. The
had come. Kikuji’s father did not go into the breakfast
husband might be all right, but the child.’
room. He sat down in the next room instead, the room
‘The birthmark would keep milk from coming?’
where Chikako gave lessons.
‘Not that. No, the trouble would be having the child look
‘Do you suppose I could have a cup of tea?’ Kikuji’s
at the birthmark while it was nursing. I hadn’t seen quite
father asked absently. He looked up at the hanging in
so far myself, but a person who actually has a birthmark
the alcove.
thinks of these things. From the day it was born it would
‘Yes.’ But Chikako did not move.
drink there; and from the day it began to see, it would see
On the newspaper at her knee, Kikuji had seen
that ugly mark on its mother’s breast. Its first impression
hairs like whiskers. Though it was broad daylight, rats
of the world, its first impression of its mother, would be that
were scurrying about in the hollow ceiling. A peach
ugly birthmark, and there the impression would be, through
tree was in bloom near the veranda. When at length
the child’s whole life.’
she took her place by the tea hearth, Chikako seemed
‘Oh? But isn’t that inventing worries?’
preoccupied.
 ‘You could nurse it on cow’s milk, I suppose, or hire a young lady herself would have a perfect skin, a skin
wet nurse.’ unmarred by so much as a dot.
‘I should think the important thing would be whether or Had his father occasionally squeezed the
not there was milk, not whether or not there was a birthmark between his fingers? Had he even bitten at
birthmark.’ it? Such were Kikuji’s fantasies.
‘I’m afraid not. I actually wept when I heard. So that’s Even now, as he walked through the temple
how it is, I thought. I wouldn’t want our Kikuji nursing at grounds and heard the chirping of birds, those were
a breast with a birthmark on it.’ the fantasies that came to him.
‘Oh?’ Some two or three years after the incident,
At this show of ingenuousness, a wave of Chikako had somehow turned masculine in manner.
indignation came over Kikuji, and a wave of Now she was quite sexless.
resentment at his father, who could ignore him even At the ceremony today she would be bustling
though he too had seen the mark. about energetically. Perhaps that breast with its
Now, however, almost twenty years later, Kikuji birthmark would have withered. Kikuji felt a smile of
was able to smile at the thought of his father’s relief come to his lips; and just then two young
confusion. women hurried up behind him. He stopped to let
From the time he was ten or so, he often thought them pass.
of his mother’s words and started with uneasiness at ‘Do you know whether the cottage Miss Kurimoto has
the idea of a half-brother or half-sister sucking at the taken might be in this direction?’ he asked.
birthmark. It was not just fear of having a brother or ‘Yes, it is,’ the two answered in unison.
sister born away from home, a stranger to him. It was Kikuji already knew, and he could have told from
rather fear of that brother or sister in particular. Kikuji their dress that they were on their way to a tea
was obsessed with the idea that a child who sucked at ceremony. He had asked because he had to make it
that breast, with its birthmark and its hair, must be a clear to himself that he was going.
monster. One of the girls was beautiful. She carried a bundle
Chikako appeared to have had no children. One wrapped in a kerchief, the thousand-crane pattern in
could, if one wished, suspect that his father had not white on a pink crepe background.
allowed her to. The association of birthmark and baby
that had saddened his mother might have been his Chapter 2
father’s device for convincing Chikako that she did
The two girls were changing to fresh tabi when
not want children. In any case, Chikako produced
Kikuji arrived. He looked in from behind them. The
none, either while Kikuji’s father lived or after his
main room was a large one, some eight mats in area.
death.
Even so, the guests presented a solid row of knees.
Perhaps Chikako had made her confession so soon
There seemed to be only women, women in bright
after Kikuji had seen the birthmark because she feared
kimonos.
that Kikuji himself would tell of it.
Chikako saw him immediately. As if in surprise,
Chikako did not marry. Had the birthmark then
she stood up to greet him.
governed her whole life? Kikuji never forgot the mark.
‘Come in, come in. What a prize! Please, it will be quite
He could sometimes imagine even that his own
all right to come in from there.’ She pointed to the sliding
destinies were enmeshed in it.
door at the upper end of the room, before the alcove.
When he received the note saying that Chikako
Kikuji flushed. He felt the eyes of all those women.
meant to make the tea ceremony her excuse for
‘Ladies only, is it?’
introducing him to a young lady, the birthmark once
‘We did have a gentleman earlier, but he left. You are
more floated before him; and, since the introduction
the one bright spot.’
would be made by Chikako, he wondered if the
‘Hardly bright.’
 ‘Oh, certainly, you have all the qualifications. The one Chikako’s way of dismissing the matter annoyed
spot of scarlet.’ Kikuji waved his hand to indicate that him.
he would prefer a less conspicuous door. Her intimacy with his father had evidently been of
The young lady was wrapping her discarded tabi short duration. For the rest of his father’s life,
in the thousand-crane kerchief. She stood aside to let however, Chikako made herself useful in his house.
him pass. The anteroom was cluttered with boxes of She would come to help in the kitchen when there was
sweets, tea utensils brought by Chikako, and bundles to be a tea ceremony and even when ordinary guests
that belonged to the guests. In the far corner a maid were expected.
was washing something. Chikako came in. The idea that Kikuji’s mother should begin feeling
‘Well, what do you think of her? A nice girl, isn’t she?’ jealous of a sexless Chikako seemed funny, worth
‘The one with the thousand-crane kerchief?’ only a wry smile. No doubt his mother came to sense
‘Kerchief? How would I know about kerchiefs? The one that his father had seen the birthmark, but the storm
who was standing here, the pretty one. She’s the Inamura had passed; and Chikako, as if she too had quite
girl.’ forgotten, became his mother’s companion.
Kikuji nodded vaguely. In the course of time Kikuji too came to treat her
‘Kerchief. What odd things you notice. A person can’t lightly. As he turned his childish tantrums on her, the
be too careful. I thought you had come together. I was suffocating revulsion of his younger days seemed to
delighted.’ fade.
‘What are you talking about?’ It was perhaps an appropriate life for Chikako,
‘You met on the way. It’s a sign of a bond between you. that she had lapsed into sexlessness and been made a
And your father knew Mr. Inamura.’ convenient fixture.
‘Oh?’ With Kikuji’s family her base, she was modestly
‘The family had a raw-silk business in Yokohama. She successful as an instructor in the tea ceremony.
knows nothing about today. You can look her over at your Kikuji even felt a certain faint sympathy for her
leisure.’ when, upon his father’s death, it came to him that she
Chikako’s voice was no small one, and Kikuji was had repressed the woman in her after that one brief,
in an agony of apprehension lest she be heard through fleeting affair.
the paper-paneled door that separated them from the The hostility of Kikuji’s mother, moreover, was
main party. Suddenly she brought her face close to held in check by the question of Mrs. Ota.
his. After the death of Ota, who had been a companion
‘But there’s a complication.’ She lowered her voice. in the pursuit of tea, Kikuji’s father had undertaken to
‘Mrs. Ota is here, and her daughter with her.’ She studied dispose of Ota’s tea utensils, and he had thus been
Kikuji’s expression. ‘I didn’t invite her. But it’s been the drawn to the widow.
rule that anyone who happens to be in the neighborhood can Chikako hastened to inform Kikuji’s mother.
drop in. The other day I even had some Americans. I’m Chikako of course became his mother’s ally –
sorry, but what am I to do when she gets wind of an affair? indeed a too hard-working ally. She prowled after his
Of course she doesn’t know about you and the Inamura father, she frequently went to threaten Mrs. Ota. All
girl.’ her own latent jealousy seemed to explode.
‘About me and the Inamura girl? But I …’ Kikuji Kikuji’s quiet, introspective mother, taken aback at
wanted to say that he had not come prepared for a this flaming intervention, worried rather about what
miai, a meeting the announced purpose of which was people might think.
to view a prospective bride. Somehow the words Even in front of Kikuji, Chikako would berate Mrs.
would not come. His throat muscles stiffened. Ota, and when his mother showed signs of
‘But Mrs. Ota is the one who should be uncomfortable. displeasure, Chikako would say that it did Kikuji no
You can pretend that nothing is wrong.’ harm to hear.
 ‘And the time before, too, when I went to have it out But Chikako’s voice clawed at his ear and scraped at
with her, there was the child, listening to everything. I ask his nerves. ‘Well, she will know I’m here. I can’t run away
you, didn’t I all of a sudden hear sniffling in the next room?’ now.’ He stood up.
‘A girl?’ Kikuji’s mother frowned. He went in through the door by the alcove, and
‘Yes. Eleven years old, I believe Mrs. Ota said. Really, took his place at the upper end of the room. Chikako
there is something wrong with that woman. I thought she followed close after him. ‘This is Mr. Mitani. Old Mr.
would scold the girl for eavesdropping, and what did she do Mitani’s son.’ Her tone was most formal.
but get up and bring her in, and sit holding her, right there Kikuji made his bow, and as he raised his head he
in front of me. I suppose she needed a supporting actor to had a clear view of the daughter. Somewhat flustered,
help with the sobbing.’ he had at first not distinguished one lady from
‘But don’t you think it’s a little sad for the child?’ another in the bright flood of kimonos. He saw now
‘That’s exactly why we should use the child to get back that Mrs. Ota was directly opposite him.
at her. The child knows everything. I must say that it’s a ‘Kikuji.’ It was Mrs. Ota. Her voice, audible
pretty child, though. A round little face.’ Chikako looked throughout the room, was frankly affectionate. ‘I
at Kikuji. ‘Suppose we have Kikuji here speak to his haven’t written in so long. And it’s been so very long since
father.’ I last saw you.’ She tugged at the daughter’s sleeve,
‘Try not to spread the poison too far, if you don’t mind.’ urging her to be quick with her greetings. The
Even Kikuji’s mother had to protest. daughter flushed and looked at the floor.
‘You keep the poison dammed up inside you, that’s the To Kikuji this was indeed odd. He could not detect
whole trouble. Pull yourself together; spit it all out. See how the faintest suggestion of hostility in Mrs. Ota’s
thin you are, and she all plump and glowing. There really manner. She seemed wholly warm, tender, overcome
is something not right about her – she thinks that if she with pleasure at an unexpected meeting. One could
weeps pathetically enough, everyone will understand. And only conclude that she was wholly unaware of her
right there in the room where she sees Mr. Mitani, she has place in the assembly.
a picture of her own husband on exhibit. I’m surprised Mr. The daughter sat stiffly, with bowed head. At
Mitani hasn’t spoken to her about it.’ length noticing, Mrs. Ota, too, flushed. She still looked
And, after the death of Kikuji’s father, this Mrs. at Kikuji, however, as if she wanted to rush to his side,
Ota came to Chikako’s tea ceremony and even or as if there were things she must say to him. ‘You
brought her daughter. are studying tea, then, are you?’
Kikuji felt the touch of something cold. ‘I know nothing at all about it.’
Chikako said that she had not invited Mrs. Ota ‘Really? But you have it in your blood.’ Her emotions
today. Still it was astonishing: the two women had seemed too much for her. Her eyes were moist.
been seeing each other since his father’s death. Kikuji had not seen her since his father’s funeral.
Perhaps even the daughter was taking tea lessons. She had hardly changed in four years.
‘If it bothers you, I might ask her to leave.’ Chikako The white neck, rather long, was as it had been,
looked into his eyes. and the full shoulders that strangely matched the
‘It makes no difference to me. Of course, if she wants to slender neck – it was a figure young for her years. The
go …’ mouth and nose were small in proportion to the eyes.
‘If she were a person who thought of such things, she The little nose, if one bothered to notice, was cleanly
wouldn’t have brought so much unhappiness to your father modeled and most engaging. When she spoke, her
and mother.’ lower lip was thrust forward a little, as if in a pout.
‘The daughter is with her?’ Kikuji had never seen the The daughter had inherited the long neck and the
daughter. full shoulders. Her mouth was larger, however, and
It seemed wrong to meet the girl of the thousand tightly closed. There was something almost funny
cranes here before Mrs. Ota. And he was even more about the mother’s tiny lips beside the daughter’s.
repelled at the thought of meeting the daughter today.
 Sadness clouded the girl’s eyes, darker than her centuries. My father is of very little importance.’ So Kikuji
mother’s. tried to forget the associations the bowl called up.
Chikako poked at the embers in the hearth. ‘Miss It had passed from Ota to his wife, from the wife
Inamura, suppose you make tea for Mr. Mitani. I don’t to Kikuji’s father, from Kikuji’s father to Chikako; and
believe you’ve had your turn yet.’ The girl of the the two men, Ota and Kikuji’s father, were dead, and
thousand cranes stood up. Kikuji had noticed her here were the two women. There was something
beside Mrs. Ota. He had avoided looking at her, almost weird about the bowl’s career.
however, once he had seen Mrs. Ota and the daughter. Here, again, Ota’s widow and daughter, and
Chikako was of course showing the girl off for his Chikako, and the Inamura girl, and other young girls
inspection. too, were holding the old tea bowl in their hands, and
When she had taken her place at the hearth, she bringing it to their lips.
turned to Chikako. ‘Might I have tea from the Oribe myself?’ asked Mrs.
‘And which bowl shall I use?’ Ota suddenly. ‘You gave me a different one last time.’
‘Let me see. The Oribe should do,’ Chikako answered. Kikuji was startled afresh. Was the woman foolish,
‘It belonged to Mr. Mitani’s father. He was very fond of it, or shameless?
and he gave it to me.’ He was overcome with pity for the daughter, still
Kikuji remembered the tea bowl Chikako had sitting with bowed head.
placed before the girl. It had indeed belonged to his For Mrs. Ota, the Inamura girl once more went
father, and his father had received it from Mrs. Ota. through the ceremony. Everyone was watching her.
And what of Mrs. Ota, seeing at the ceremony today She probably did not know the history of the black
a bowl that had been treasured by her dead husband Oribe. She went through the practiced motions.
and passed from Kikuji’s father to Chikako? It was a straightforward performance, quite
Kikuji was astounded at Chikako’s tactlessness. without personal quirks. Her bearing, from shoulders
But one could not avoid concluding that Mrs. Ota, too, to knees, suggested breeding and refinement.
showed a certain want of tact. The shadow of young leaves fell on the paper-
Here, making tea for him, clean against the paneled door. One noted a soft reflection from the
rankling histories of the middle-aged women, the shoulders and the long sleeves of the gay kimono. The
Inamura girl seemed beautiful to him. hair seemed luminous.
The light was really too bright for a tea cottage, but
Chapter 3 it made the girl’s youth glow. The tea napkin, as
became a young girl, was red, and it impressed one
Unaware that she was on display, she went
less with its softness than with its freshness, as if the
through the ceremony without hesitation, and she
girl’s hand were bringing a red flower into bloom.
herself set the tea before Kikuji. After drinking, Kikuji
And one saw a thousand cranes, small and white,
looked at the bowl. It was black Oribe, splashed with
start up in flight around her.
white on one side, and there decorated, also in black,
Mrs. Ota took the black Oribe in the palm of her
with crook-shaped bracken shoots.
hand. ‘The green tea against the black, like traces of green
‘You must remember it,’ said Chikako from across
in early spring.’ But not even she mentioned that the
the room. Kikuji gave an evasive answer and put the
bowl had belonged to her husband.
bowl down. ‘The pattern has the feel of the mountains in
Afterward there was a perfunctory inspection of
it,’ said Chikako. ‘One of the best bowls I know for early
the tea utensils. The girls knew little about them, and
spring – your father often used it. We’re just a little out of
were for the most part satisfied with Chikako’s
season, but then I thought that for Kikuji …’
explanation. The water jar and the tea measure had
‘But what difference does it make that my father owned
belonged to Kikuji’s father. Neither he nor Chikako
it for a little while? It’s four hundred years old, after all –
mentioned the fact. As Kikuji sat watching the girls
its history goes back to Momoyama and Rikyū himself. Tea
leave, Mrs. Ota came toward him. ‘I’m afraid I was very
masters have looked after it and passed it down through the
rude. I may have annoyed you, but when I saw you it He was disgusted with himself for having let
seemed that the old days came before everything.’ Chikako’s note lure him out; but the impression of the
‘Oh?’ girl with the thousand-crane kerchief was fresh and
‘But see what a gentleman you’ve become.’ She looked clean.
as if she might weep. ‘Oh, yes. Your mother. I meant to It was perhaps because of her that the meeting
go to the funeral, and then somehow couldn’t.’ Kikuji with two of his father’s women had upset him no
looked uncomfortable. ‘Your father and then your more than it had.
mother. You must be very lonely.’ The two women were still here to talk of his father,
‘Yes, perhaps I am.’ and his mother was dead. He felt a surge of something
‘You’re not leaving yet?’ like anger. The ugly birthmark came to him again.
‘Well, as a matter of fact …’ An evening breeze was rustling the new leaves.
‘There are so many things we must talk about, Kikuji walked slowly, hat in hand.
sometime.’ From a distance he saw Mrs. Ota standing in the
‘Kikuji.’ Chikako called from the next room. shadow of the main gate.
Mrs. Ota stood up regretfully. Her daughter had He looked for a way of avoiding her. If he climbed
gone out and was waiting in the garden. to the right or left, he could probably leave the temple
The two of them left after nodding their farewell by another exit.
to Kikuji. There was a look of appeal in the girl’s eyes. Nevertheless, he walked toward the gate. A
Chikako, with a maid and two or three favorite pupils, suggestion of grimness came over his face.
was cleaning the other room. ‘And what did Mrs. Ota Mrs. Ota saw him, and came toward him. Her
have to say?’ cheeks were flushed.
‘Nothing in particular. Nothing at all.’ ‘I waited for you. I wanted to see you again. I must seem
‘You must be careful with her. So meek and gentle – she brazen, but I had to say something more. If we had said
always manages to make it look as if she could do no one the good-by there, I would have had no way of knowing when I
least harm. But you can never tell what she’s thinking.’ might see you again.’
‘I suppose she comes to your parties often?’ Kikuji ‘What happened to your daughter?’
asked with a touch of sarcasm. ‘When did she begin?’ ‘Fumiko went on ahead. She was with a friend.’
To escape Chikako’s poison, he started into the ‘She knew, then, that you would be waiting for me?’
garden. ‘Yes.’ She looked into his eyes.
Chikako followed him. ‘And did you like her? A nice ‘I doubt if she approves. I felt very sorry for her back
girl, didn’t you think?’ there. It was clear that she did not want to see me.’ The
‘A very nice girl. And she would have seemed even nicer words may have been blunt, and again they may have
if I’d met her without the rest of you hovering around, you been circumspect; but her answer was quite
and Mrs. Ota and Father’s ghost.’ straightforward.
‘Why should that bother you? Mrs. Ota has nothing to ‘It was a trial for Fumiko to see you.’
do with the Inamura girl.’ ‘Because my father caused her a great deal of pain.’
‘It just seemed the wrong thing to do to the girl.’ Kikuji meant to suggest that Mrs. Ota had caused
‘Why? If it bothered you to have Mrs. Ota here, I him a great deal of pain.
apologize, but you must remember that I didn’t invite her. ‘Not at all. Your father was very good to her. Sometime
And you’re to think of the Inamura girl separately.’ I must tell you about it. At first she would not be friendly,
‘I’m afraid I have to go.’ He stopped. If he went on no matter how kind he was to her; but then, toward the end
walking with Chikako, there was no telling when she of the war, when the air raids were bad, she changed. I have
would leave him. no idea why. In her own way, she did her very best for him.
By himself again, he noted that the azaleas up the Her very best, I say, but she was only a girl. Her best was
side of the mountain were in bud. He heaved a deep going out to buy chicken and fish and the like for him. She
sigh. was very determined, and she didn’t mind taking risks. She
went out into the country for rice, even during the raids. affectionate nostalgia in it, as if she meant to be talking
Your father was astonished, the change was so sudden. I to Kikuji’s father.
found it very touching myself, so touching that it almost The hostility which Kikuji, with his mother, had
hurt. And at the same time I felt that I was being scolded.’ felt for Mrs. Ota had lost some of its strength, though
Kikuji wondered if he and his mother might also it had not entirely disappeared. He even feared that
have had favours from the Ota girl. The remarkable unless he was careful he might find in himself the
gifts his father brought home from time to time – were father loved by Mrs. Ota. He was tempted to imagine
they among her purchases? that he had known this woman’s body long ago.
‘I don’t know why Fumiko changed so. Maybe it was His father had soon left Chikako, Kikuji knew, but
because we didn’t know from one day to the next whether he had stayed with Mrs. Ota until his death. Still it
we would still be alive. I suppose she was feeling sorry for seemed probable that Chikako had treated Mrs. Ota
me, and she went to work for your father too.’ with derision. Kikuji saw signs of much the same
In the confusion of defeat, the girl must have cruelty in himself, and he found something seductive
known how desperately her mother clung to Kikuji’s in the thought that he could do her injury with a light
father. In the violent reality of those days, she must heart.
have left behind the past that was her own father, and ‘Do you often go to Kurimoto’s affairs?’ he asked.
seen only the present reality of her mother. ‘Didn’t you have enough of her in the old days?’
‘Did you notice the ring Fumiko was wearing?’ ‘I had a letter from her after your father died. I missed
‘No.’ your father a great deal. I was feeling very lonely.’ She
‘Your father gave it to her. Even when he was with me, spoke with bowed head.
your father would go home if there was an air-raid warning. ‘And does your daughter go too?’
Fumiko would see him home, and no one could talk her out ‘Fumiko? Fumiko just keeps me company.’
of it. There was no telling what would happen if he went They had crossed the tracks and passed the North
alone, she would say. One night she didn’t come back. I Kamakura Station, and were climbing the hill
hoped she had stayed at your house, but I was afraid the two opposite the Engakuji.
of them had been killed. Then in the morning she came home
and said that she had seen him as far as your gate and spent Chapter 4
the rest of the night in an air-raid shelter. He thanked her
Mrs. Ota was at least forty-five, some twenty years
the next time he came, and gave her that ring. I’m sure she
older than Kikuji, but she had made him forget her
was embarrassed to have you see it.’
age when they made love. He felt that he had had a
Kikuji was most uncomfortable. And it was odd
woman younger than he in his arms.
that the woman seemed to expect sympathy as a
Sharing a happiness that came from the woman’s
matter of course.
experience, Kikuji felt none of the embarrassed
His mood was not clearly one of dislike or distrust,
reticence of inexperience.
however. There was a warmth in her that put him off
He felt as if he had for the first time known
guard.
woman, and as if for the first time he had known
When the girl had desperately been doing
himself as a man. It was an extraordinary awakening.
everything she could for his father, had she been
He had not guessed that a woman could be so wholly
watching her mother, and yet unable to watch?
pliant and receptive, the receptive one who followed
Kikuji sensed that Mrs. Ota was talking of her own
after and at the same time lured him on, the receptive
love as she talked of the girl.
one who engulfed him in her own warm scent.
She seemed to be pleading something with all the
Kikuji, the bachelor, usually felt soiled after such
passion she had, and in its final implications the plea
encounters; but now, when the sense of defilement
did not seem to make a distinction between Kikuji’s
should have been keenest, he was conscious only of
father and Kikuji himself. There was a deep,
warm repose.
 He usually wanted to make his departure roughly; ‘What a frightening idea.’
but today it was as though for the first time someone ‘And maybe too she was out for revenge against my
was warmly near him and he was drifting willingly father.’
along. He had not until then seen how the wave of ‘For what?’
woman followed after. Giving his body to the wave, ‘She thought he was belittling her because of the
he even felt a satisfaction as of drowsing off in birthmark. She may even have persuaded herself that he left
triumph, the conqueror whose feet were being her because of it.’
washed by a slave. ‘Let’s not talk about the repulsive thing.’ But she
And there was a feeling of the maternal about her. seemed to be drawing no clear picture of the
‘Kurimoto has a big birthmark. Did you know it?’ He birthmark in her mind. ‘I don’t suppose Miss Kurimoto
bobbed his head as he spoke. Without forethought, he worries about it anymore. The pain must have gone long
had introduced the unpleasant. Possibly because the ago.’
fibres of his consciousness had slackened, however, ‘Does pain go away and leave no trace, then?’
he did not feel that he was wronging Chikako. He put ‘You sometimes even feel sentimental for it.’ She spoke
out his hand. ‘Here, on the breast, like this.’ as if still half in a dream.
Something had risen inside him to make him say Then Kikuji said what he had meant at all costs not
it. Something itchy that wanted to rise against Kikuji to say.
himself and injure the woman. Or perhaps it only hid ‘You remember the girl on your left this afternoon?’
a sweet shyness in wanting to see her body, to see ‘Yes, Yukiko. The Inamura girl.’
where the mark should be. ‘Kurimoto invited me today so that I could inspect her.’
‘How repulsive!’ She quickly brought her kimono ‘No!’ She gazed at him with wide, unblinking eyes.
together. But there seemed to be something she could ‘It was a miai, was it? I never suspected.’
not quite accept. ‘I hadn’t known,’ she said quietly. ‘Not a miai, really.’
‘You can’t see it under the kimono, can you?’ ‘So that was it. On the way home from a miai.’ A tear
‘It’s not impossible.’ drew a line from her eye down to the pillow. Her
‘No! How could you possibly?’ shoulders were quivering. ‘It was wrong. Wrong. Why
‘You could see it if it were here, I should imagine.’ didn’t you tell me?’
‘Stop. Are you looking to see if I have a mark too?’ She pressed her face to the pillow.
‘No. But I wonder how you’d feel at a time like this if Kikuji had not expected so violent a response.
you did have a mark.’ ‘If it’s wrong it’s wrong, whether I’m on the way home
‘Here?’ Mrs. Ota looked at her own breast. ‘But from a miai or not.’ He was being quite honest. ‘I don’t
why do you have to speak of it? Does it make any see the relationship between the two.’
difference?’ In spite of the protest, her manner was But the figure of the Inamura girl at the tea hearth
unresisting. The poison disseminated by Kikuji came before him. He could see the pink kerchief and
seemed to have had no effect. It flowed back to Kikuji the thousand cranes.
himself. The figure of the weeping woman had become
‘But it does make a difference. I only saw it once, when ugly.
I was eight or nine years old, and I can see it even now.’ ‘Oh, it was wrong. How could I have done it? The
‘Why?’ things I’m guilty of.’ Her full shoulders were shaking.
‘You were under the curse of that birthmark yourself. If Kikuji had regretted the encounter, he would
Didn’t Kurimoto come at you as if she were fighting for have had the usual sense of defilement. Quite aside
Mother and me?’ from the question of the miai, she was his father’s
Mrs. Ota nodded, and pulled away. Kikuji put woman.
strength into his embrace. But he had until then felt neither regret nor
‘She was always conscious of that birthmark. It made revulsion.
her more and more spiteful.’
 He did not understand how it had happened, it A morning mist wet the trees at the veranda.
had happened so naturally. Perhaps she was Kikuji felt that the recesses of his mind had been
apologizing for having seduced him, and yet she had washed clean. He thought of nothing.
probably not meant to seduce him, nor did Kikuji feel Mrs. Ota was sleeping with her back to him. He
that he had been seduced. There had been no wondered when she had turned away. Raising
suggestion of resistance, on his part or the woman’s. himself to an elbow, he looked into her face in the
There had been no qualms, he might have said. semidarkness.
They had gone to an inn on the hill opposite the
Engakuji, and they had had dinner, because she was Chapter 5
still talking of Kikuji’s father. Kikuji did not have to
Some two weeks later, the Ota girl called on Kikuji.
listen. Indeed, it was in a sense strange that he listened
He had the maid show her into the parlor. In an effort
so quietly; but Mrs. Ota, evidently with no thought for
to quiet the beating of his heart, he opened the tea
the strangeness, seemed to plead her yearning for the
cupboard and took out sweets. Had the girl come
past. Listening, Kikuji felt expansively benevolent. A
alone, or was her mother waiting outside, unable to
soft affection enveloped him.
come in?
It came to him that his father had been happy.
The girl stood up as he opened the door. Her head
Here, perhaps, was the source of the mistake. The
was bowed, and Kikuji saw that the out-thrust lower
moment for sending her away had passed, and, in the
lip was firmly closed.
sweet slackening of his heart, Kikuji gave himself up.
‘I’ve kept you waiting.’ Kikuji opened the glass
But deep in his heart there remained a dark
doors to the garden. As he passed behind the girl, he
shadow. Venomously, he spoke of Chikako and the
caught a faint scent from the white peony in the vase.
Inamura girl.
Her full shoulders were thrown slightly forward.
The venom was only too effective. With regret
‘Please sit down.’ Kikuji took a seat himself. He was
came defilement and revulsion, and a violent wave of
strangely composed, seeing the image of the mother
self-loathing swept over him, pressing him to say
in the daughter.
something even crueller.
‘I really should have telephoned first.’ Her head was
‘Let’s forget about it. It was nothing,’ she said. ‘It was
still bowed.
nothing at all.’
‘Not at all. But I’m surprised that you were able to find
‘You were remembering my father?’
the place.’ She nodded.
‘What!’ She looked up in surprise. She had been
Then Kikuji remembered: during the air raids, she
weeping, and her eyelids were red. The eyes were
had seen his father as far as the gate. He had heard the
muddied, and in the wide pupils Kikuji still saw the
story from Mrs. Ota at the Engakuji.
lassitude of woman. ‘If you say so, I have no answer. But
On the point of mentioning it, he stopped himself.
I’m a very unhappy person.’
He looked at the girl.
‘You needn’t lie to me.’ Kikuji roughly pulled her
Mrs. Ota’s warmth came over him like warm
kimono open. ‘If there were even a birthmark, you’d never
water. She had gently surrendered everything, he
forget. The impression…’ He was taken aback at his own
remembered, and he had felt secure.
words.
Because of that security, he now felt his wariness
‘You aren’t to stare at me. I’m not young anymore.’
fade. The girl did not return his gaze.
Kikuji came at her as if to bite.
‘I …’ She broke off and looked up. ‘I have a request
The earlier wave returned, the wave of woman. He
to make. About my mother.’
fell asleep in security. Half awake and half asleep, he
Kikuji caught his breath. ‘I want you to forgive her.’
heard birds chirping. It was as if he were awakening
‘To forgive her?’ Kikuji sensed that the mother had
for the first time to the call of birds.
told the daughter of him. ‘I’m the one to be forgiven if
anyone is.’
‘I’d like you to forgive her for your father too.’
 ‘And isn’t he the one to be forgiven? But my mother is felt you there in the telephone, I know she did. That is the
no longer alive in any case, and who would do the sort of person she is.’
forgiving?’ The two were silent for a time. Then Kikuji spoke.
‘It is Mother’s fault that your father died so soon. And ‘Why did you leave your mother to wait for me after
your mother. I told Mother so.’ Kurimoto’s party?’
‘You are imagining things. You mustn’t be unkind to ‘Because I wanted you to know that she was not as bad
her.’ as you might have thought.’
‘Mother should have died first.’ She spoke as if she ‘She is too much the reverse of bad.’
found the shame intolerable. The girl looked down. Below the well-shaped
Kikuji saw that she was speaking of his own nose, he could see the small mouth and the lower lip,
relations with her mother. How deeply they must thrust out as if in a pout. The softly rounded face
have wounded and shamed her! reminded him of her mother.
‘I want you to forgive her,’ the girl said once more, ‘I knew that Mrs. Ota had a daughter, and I used to
an urgent plea in her voice. wish I could talk to the girl about my father.’
‘It’s not a question of forgiving or not forgiving.’ Kikuji She nodded. ‘I used to wish very much the same
spoke with precision. ‘I am grateful to your mother.’ thing.’
‘She is bad. She is no good, and you must have nothing Kikuji thought how good it would be to talk freely
more to do with her. You are not to worry yourself about of his father and take no account of Mrs. Ota.
her.’ The words poured out, and her voice was But it was because he could no longer ‘take no
trembling. ‘Please.’ account’ that he was able to forgive her, and at the
Kikuji understood what she meant by forgive. She same time to feel that he was forgiving what she and
included a request that he see no more of Mrs. Ota. his father had been. Must he find that fact strange?
‘Don’t telephone her.’ The girl flushed as she spoke. Perhaps suspecting that she had stayed too long,
She raised her head and looked at him, as if in an the girl hastily stood up.
effort to master the shyness. There were tears in the Kikuji saw her to the gate.
wide, near-black eyes, and there was no trace of ‘I hope we will have a chance sometime to talk about my
malice. The eyes were submitting a desperate petition. father. And about your mother, and all the beauty there is
‘I understand,’ said Kikuji. ‘I’m sorry.’ in her.’
‘Please, I beg you.’ As the shyness deepened, the Kikuji feared that he had chosen a somewhat
flush spread to her long, white throat. She was in exaggerated way to express himself. Still, he meant
European dress, and a necklace set off the beauty of what he had said.
the throat. ‘She made an appointment over the telephone ‘But you will be getting married soon.’
and then didn’t keep it. I stopped her. When she tried to go ‘I will?’
out, I hung on her and wouldn’t let her.’ The voice now ‘Yes. Mother said so. It was a miai with Inamura
carried a note of relief. Yukiko, she said.’
Kikuji had telephoned Mrs. Ota the third day after ‘It was not.’
their meeting. She had seemed overjoyed, and yet she A hill fell away from outside the gate. Halfway
had not come to the appointed tea room. down the slope the street curved, and, looking back,
Besides the one telephone call, Kikuji had had no one saw only the trees in Kikuji’s garden. The image
communication with her. of the girl with the thousand-crane kerchief came to
‘Afterwards I felt sorry for her, but at the time it was so him. Fumiko stopped and said goodbye. Kikuji
wretched – I was so desperate to keep her from going. She started back toward the house.
told me to refuse for her, then, and I got as far as the
telephone and couldn’t say anything. Mother was staring
at the telephone, and tears were streaming over her face. She