Legal Writing in English

Christopher R. Kelley
Associate Professor of Law
University of Arkansas School of Law
Fayetteville, Arkansas
ckelley.christopher@gmail.com

Exercises
Modifiers and Parallelism

These exercises are from Anne Enquist & Laurel Currie Oates, Just Writing: Grammar,
Punctuation, and Style for the Legal Writer (3rd ed. 2009).

The answers follow the exercises.

Exercise Modifier Placement

Using the single word modifiers in parentheses, move the modifier to several positions in
the sentence and explain the resulting change in meaning.

1. The deputy prosecutor asked that the plaintiff describe his assailant. (JUST)

2. The defendant claims that the plaintiff was sleeping. (ONLY)

Exercise Misplaced Modifiers

Revise the following sentences to correct the misplaced modifiers.

1. The deputy marshal testified on March 12, 2004, that a copy of the complaint was served
on the defendant at his Chicago residence. (Service was on March 12, 2004, not the
deputy marshal's testimony.)

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2. The duty of a plaintiff in a failed vasectomy is only to mitigate damages through a
reasonable means; an abortion is not required.

3. The court reasoned that many people would be willing to support the unplanned child
given the chance. (Revise so that many people, not the unplanned child, are given the
chance.)

4. Acme Clothing Co. discriminated against Mary Smith when it failed to issue her a new
credit card for an existing open-ended account under her maiden name. (The account
was under her married name; she wants a new credit card under her maiden name.)

5. Harrison Lumber Co., the plaintiff in this action, has filed suit against our client, Lloyd
Putnam, for breach of contract in federal district court.

Exercise Dangling Modifiers

Revise the following sentences to correct for dangling modifiers.

1. In order to answer this question, the rule that governs service of process must be
examined.

2. Applying the majority rule to our facts, the benefit of the Bells having a healthy child
outweighs the burden.

3. To prove discrimination, it must be shown that the only difference between our client and
the others granted credit was Ms. Smith's protected classification.

4. In using the balancing test, whether the defendant testified at the prior trial must be
considered.

5. Comparing McDonald to our case, the facts are conclusive that Komotios's identification
in the police car resulted from impermissibly suggestive police actions.

6. To determine whether Acme discriminated against our client, four factors must be
examined.
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7. In measuring monetary damages to real property, two distinctions are made.

8. In determining what constitutes "appreciable time," a specific or standard amount of time

9. Equipment designs are presented to the prospective buyer for approval. Once
approved, a bid stating the contract price is submitted.

10. In order to collect your pruning fee from Mr. Brown, filing a lien against his orchard may
be the best course of action.

Exercise Parallelism A

Revise the following sentences so that the coordinated elements are parallel.

1. The defense counsel elicited that the appellant paid for a listed telephone in his own
name, kept some clothes and artifacts there, and the room was ready for him to be
occupied.

2. As a result of the collision, Rice suffered a severe concussion, two broken ribs, lost a
front tooth, whiplash, and numerous bruises and lacerations.

3. Provisions allowing arbitration are generally upheld because they enhance fair dealing
among the parties and for the prevention of litigation.

4. Chavaria's only reasons for breaking into the locked box in the Senator's desk were his
suspicion that it contained the Senator's financial records and he expected a probable
reward from the Justice Department.

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5. The voluminous record in this case contains both substantial and conflicting evidence
regarding the sequence of events, the actions of the parties, and what was the condition of
the intersection.

6. The issues for review are whether the trial court abused its discretion by not placing a
value on certain items of personal property and when it ordered John to pay $600 per
month in child support for his four children.

7. One factor governing the award of child support includes the cost of caring for,
maintaining, and education of the children.

8. The two critical factors in the "instrument or agent" analysis of Fourth Amendment
search and seizure law are whether the government knew about and acquiesced to the
search and the intent of the party performing the search.

9. Clipse described the assailant as wearing a green denim outfit, glasses, and had short
wavy hair.

10. To ensure that claimants would be aware of the new act, the Legislature directed the
Department of Ecology to publish a statutorily prescribed notice by four different means:
1) publication of the notice once a year for five years in major as well as local
newspapers; 2) publication of the notice every six months on radio and television stations
broadcasting in every county; 3) posting the notice in a conspicuous location in every
county; and 4) including a copy of the notice with notices of taxes due for 2004 mailed
by each county treasurer.

Exercise Parallelism B
Revise the following sentences so that the coordinated elements are parallel.

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1. The trial court concluded that the agreement was not only fair economically but also
procedurally fair.

2. Green fibers that were found to be microscopically indistinguishable from the fibers in
Nichol's t-shirt both were found in the car and on the gloves.

3. Mr. Parker claims that the trial court's actions resulted in a property distribution that was
neither fair nor was it equitable.

4. The plaintiff alleges that the City failed not only to erect proper warning signs but also
failed to trim obscuring vegetation at the northeast quadrant of the intersection.

5. The jury is not to consider this evidence as either proof of negligence or as an admission
of negligence on the part of the City.

6. The notation on the agent's copy could mean that either Peters made only a quote to
Garfield or actually obtained the excess coverage from Munson Insurance.

7. The State can neither take action that will unnecessarily "chill" the assertion of a
constitutional right nor can the State draw adverse inferences from the exercise of a
constitutional right.

8. In this case, the prosecutor's comments appear to extend more to the defendant's theory of
mistaken identity than his guilt or innocence.

9. The State charged Mookins with one count of assault committed either by the use of a
weapon or instrument likely to produce bodily harm or by knowingly inflicting grievous
bodily harm upon the victim.

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10. Heller did not object to the use of the medical records evidence at either the board
hearing or during the trial de novo in superior court.

Answers

Exercise Modifier Placement

1. Just the deputy prosecutor asked that the plaintiff describe his assailant.

No one but the deputy prosecutor asked.

The deputy prosecutor just asked that the plaintiff describe his assailant.

She did not demand or require.

The deputy prosecutor asked just that the plaintiff describe his assailant.

She asked for only one thing.

The deputy prosecutor asked that just the plaintiff describe his assailant.

Only the plaintiff, no one else should do the describing.

The deputy prosecutor asked that the plaintiff just describe his assailant.

Just describe, not draw or point out or name.

The deputy prosecutor asked that the plaintiff describe just his assailant.

Just the assailant, no one else should be described.

2. Only the defendant claims that the plaintiff was sleeping.

No one else makes this claim.

The defendant only claims that the plaintiff was sleeping.

He claims it but cannot prove it.

The defendant claims only that the plaintiff was sleeping.

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 He claims only one thing.

The defendant claims that only the plaintiff was sleeping.

No one else was sleeping.

The defendant claims that the plaintiff was only sleeping.

Only asleep, not dead

Exercise Misplaced Modifiers

1. The deputy marshal testified that a copy of the complaint was served on the
defendant at his Chicago residence on March 12, 2004.

OR: The deputy marshal testified that on March 12, 2004, a copy of the complaint was
served on the defendant at his Chicago residence.

2. The duty of a plaintiff in a failed vasectomy is to mitigate damages only through a

3. The court reasoned that, given the chance, many people would be willing to support the
unplanned child.

OR: The court reasoned that many people, given the chance, would be willing to support
the unplanned child.

4. Acme Clothing Co. discriminated against Mary Smith when it failed to issue her a
new credit card under her maiden name for an existing open-ended account.

5. Harrison Lumber Co., the plaintiff in this action, has filed suit in federal district court
against our client, Lloyd Putnam, for breach of contract.

Exercise Dangling Modifiers

1. In order to answer this question, the court must examine the rule that governs service of
process.

2. Applying the majority rule to our facts, the court will find that the benefit of the Bells
having a healthy child outweighs the burden.

7
3. To prove discrimination, Ms. Smith must show that the only difference between her and
the others granted credit was Ms. Smith's protected classification.

4. In using the balancing test, the court must consider whether the defendant testified at the
prior trial.

5. Comparing McDonald to our case, the court will find that the facts are conclusive that
Komotios's identification in the police car resulted from impermissibly suggestive police
actions.

OR: Comparing McDonald to our case, the court will find that Komotios's identification
in the police car resulted from impermissibly suggestive police actions.

6. To determine whether Acme discriminated against our client, the court must examine
four factors.

7. In measuring monetary damages to real property, courts make two distinctions.

8. In determining what constitutes "appreciable time," the courts have not clearly defined a
specific or standard amount of time.

9. Equipment designs are presented to the prospective buyer for approval. Once the design
is approved, a bid stating the contract price is submitted.

10. If you wish to collect your pruning fee from Mr. Brown, filing a lien against his
orchard may be the best course of action.

Exercise Parallelism A

1. The defense counsel elicited that the appellant paid for a listed telephone in his own
name, kept some clothes and artifacts there, and had a room there that was ready for him
to occupy. (The key words, paid, kept, and had, must match.)

8
2. As a result of the collision, Rice has suffered a severe concussion, two broken ribs, a lost
front tooth, whiplash, and numerous bruises and lacerations. (Tooth is now the key word,
and it matches concussion, ribs, whiplash, bruises and lacerations.)

3. Provisions allowing arbitration are generally upheld because they enhance fair dealing
among the parties and prevent litigation. (Enhance is parallel with prevent.)

4. Chavaria's only reasons for breaking into the locked box in the Senator's desk were his
suspicion that it contained the Senator's financial records and his expectation of a
probable reward from the Justice Department. OR: Chavaria's only reasons for breaking
into the locked box in the Senator's desk were that he suspected that it contained the
Senator's financial records and that he expected a probable reward from the Justice
Department.

5. The voluminous record in this case contains both substantial and conflicting evidence
regarding the sequence of events, the actions of the parties, and the condition of the
intersection.

6. The issues for review are whether the trial court abused its discretion by not placing a
value on certain items of personal property and by ordering John to pay $600 per month
in child support for his four children. (By not placing matches by ordering.)

7. One factor governing the award of child support includes the cost of caring for,
maintaining, and educating the children. OR: One factor governing the award of child
support includes the cost of the care, maintenance, and education of the children.

8. The two critical factors in the "instrument or agent" analysis of Fourth Amendment
search and seizure law are the government's knowledge and acquiescence in the search
and the intent of the party performing the search. (The nouns knowledge and
acquiescence match intent.)

9. Clipse described the assailant as wearing a green denim outfit and glasses and having
short wavy hair. (The key words wearing and having are parallel.)

10. To ensure that claimants would be aware of the new act, the Legislature directed the
Department of Ecology to publish a statutorily prescribed notice by four different means:
1) publishing the notice once a year for five years in major as well as local newspapers;
2) publishing the notice every six months on radio and television stations broadcasting in

9
 every county; 3) posting the notice in a conspicuous location in every county; and 4)
including a copy of the notice with notices of taxes due for 2004 mailed by each county
treasurer.

Exercise Parallelism B

1. The trial court concluded that the agreement was not only economically but also
procedurally fair.

2. Green fibers that were found to be microscopically indistinguishable from the fibers in
Nichol's t-shirt were found both in the car and on the gloves.

3. Mr. Parker claims that the trial court's actions resulted in a property distribution that was
neither fair nor equitable.

4. The plaintiff alleges that the City not only failed to erect proper warning signs but also
failed to trim obscuring vegetation at the northeast quadrant of the intersection. OR: The
plaintiff alleges that the City failed not only to erect proper warning signs but also to trim
obscuring vegetation at the northeast quadrant of the intersection.

5. The jury is not to consider this evidence as either proof of negligence or an admission of
negligence on the part of the City. OR: The jury is not to consider this evidence either as
proof of negligence or as an admission of negligence on the part of the City.

6. The notation on the agent's copy could mean that Peters either made only a quote to
Garfield or actually obtained the excess coverage from Munson Insurance.

7. The State can neither take action that will unnecessarily "chill" the assertion of a
constitutional right nor draw adverse inferences from the exercise of a constitutional
right.

8. In this case, the prosecutor's comments appear to extend more to the defendant's theory of
mistaken identity than to his guilt or innocence.

10
9. The State charged Mookins with one count of assault committed either by using a
weapon or instrument likely to produce bodily harm or by knowingly inflicting grievous
bodily harm upon the victim.

10. Heller did not object to the use of the medical records evidence either at the board
hearing or during the trial de novo in superior court.

11