Bob Bly Handbook of Copywriting Formulas PDF
Bob Bly Handbook of Copywriting Formulas PDF
© Copyright 2010, by the Center for Technical Communication. All rights reserved.
This is NOT a free e‐book!
Purchase of this e‐book entitles the buyer to keep one copy on his or her computer and to print out one
copy only.
Printing out more than one copy—or distributing it electronically—is prohibited by international and U.S.A.
copyright laws and treaties, and would subject the purchaser to penalties of up to $100,000 PER COPY
distributed.
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................. 5
Mnemonics ..................................................................................................... 9
When Copywriting Formulas Come Up Short, Here’s What You Do… ............ 13
Headline Formulas........................................................................................ 18
31-derfully Simple Ways to Make Your Ads Generate More Inquiries ............. 36
Can’t Find Good Newsletter Items? Here are 29 Good Places to Look .......... 57
The 7-Step Formula for Writing Powerful Articles in Less Than an Hour.......... 65
Writing Effective Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Ads to Increase CTR and Conversions .... 73
How to Write Subject Lines That Get Your E-Mail Opened and Read .............. 93
How I Write Direct Mail, Landing Pages, and Other Copywriting Projects ..... 122
Use the B.E.S.T. Strategy When Marketing with Free Content....................... 133
INTRODUCTION
Secret Copywriting Formulas
In the last 100 years, the art of selling by the written word has developed and evolved into a
number of systematic formulas that have proven themselves time after time to successfully bring
in the customer and the money. This compilation of formulas is a preliminary guideline that you,
the reader/writer, can use over and over, and not go wrong.
When you find yourself sitting in front of your copy and you can’t think of what, or how, you
can get started writing copy, and writing it to sell, look through this book and select a formula
that fits what you’re trying to write. Every formula will help you think through the situation and
jog that little inspirational genie inside you that will grant your wish…writing better copy that
sells. When your copy sells, then your clients will hire you over and over again.
As the economy and the consumer become increasingly tight-fisted in terms of parting with hard-
earned money, you will need to always keep in mind the most valuable aspects of writing a good
sales letter or online Web copy. These formulas will keep you going in the right direction to
selling your product or service, whether for yourself, or for a client.
Clarity is obvious. If you are selling a vacation resort, then that is what you are writing about in
the first few lines. But what you also need to indicate about the resort is WHY this resort is so
wonderful. Maybe it has a special charm that invites newlyweds to come spend their
honeymoons there. In other words, find out all the wonderful benefits about going to this resort,
and focus on them in the first few lines.
In the second part, you can include a testimonial from a couple who stayed there on their
honeymoon five years ago and show how they came back five years later to renew their vows.
This is a compelling story. They felt comfortable and happy doing this because of all the
wonderful memories they had from the first visit. Even better, most of the original staff was still
working there and they remembered the couple very well. The personnel remembered what they
liked to drink and eat, and overall, gave them great service that was personalized just for them.
Adding a few more wonderful stories adds to the credibility factor along with some kind of
review from a famous travel magazine. Maybe Resort Wonderland Magazine has just given the
resort its “Best Honeymoon Retreat” award for five years running, and that little mention will
add considerably to your credibility.
Next, Michel Fortin comes up with several nice ideas about how to boost response the low-tech way.
Add pictures, photos, clipart, and other graphics to the sales letter, particularly close
to the headline.
As headlines are critical to grabbing the reader and having them want to read more,
you have to get the reader’s attention in the best way possible. If the headline doesn’t
do the job, then no one is buying.
Add a few photos or graphics within the body of work. Some readers really need to
see the pictures of the product at work, or of you performing the service you are
selling.
Use arrows, callouts, stars, any kind of interesting little marker in the body of the
copy to bring attention to important points.
Consider turning the headlines into short animated versions…like slide show
operations where a headline is broken into small sections that appear and disappear,
one right after the other. This works particularly on Websites and keeps copy lively
rather than static.
Fortin also recommends the following suggestions about the pictures you would use in sales
copy. Following the pointers below will provide greater response and conversion particularly if
the picture represents:
As Fortin states, the first two pointers are more crucial to a targeted market. For instance, if you
were selling a particular vitamin, you would be targeting customers who are proven health
conscious consumers and want all the benefits of the new vitamin you are promoting.
You can even add a picture of a famous doctor who agrees this product does what you are saying
it does. Depending on whether the doctor’s reputation is newsworthy as opposed to the
newsworthiness of the benefits, that aspect will tell you which to promote first…the doctor or the
benefits.
For certain products, pictures tell the story best, particularly when the product can be shown in
action through a sequence of photos, ending with a desired result. Graphics or pictures
representing a product or service also work equally well.
Use captions with your photos, which tell more of the story that is happening in the photograph.
It’s a good place to add another point about a benefit for the reader if they decide to buy this
product or service. Also consider using stock photography. You will find plenty of places to get
royalty free photos if you Google online for stock photography.
Cartoons are great when writing humorous sales copy as people always remember something
that makes them laugh or be happy and it also puts them in a better frame of mind to buy. Not
finding a cartoon you need to represent the idea? Maybe hire a professional cartoonist to draw
one or several that show the product or service. Keep them laughing. Engage the customer.
Mnemonics
Definition: An aid, tool, or device that helps to remember important information; for instance,
using a rhyme or formula to remember a series of procedures.
Michel Fortin, a prolific well-known copywriter, also teaches copywriting and uses his favorite
tool, acronyms. One example of an acronym most of us might remember from school is:
"My very eager mother just served us nine pizzas." If you are trying to remember the correct
order of planets in the solar system, then the first letter of the previous sentence helps do just
that. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.
Fortin has created his own set of five formulas for copywriting. Here they are as stated in his
online article, “Remember These 5 Copywriting Formulas.”
1. UPWORDS Formula
"Universal picture words or relatable, descriptive sentences."
Using words to create mental pictures, stories, examples…those that people can easily
and quickly relate to and understand the message.
2. QUEST Formula
Qualify, Understand, Educate, Stimulate, and Transition.
Taking the reader through a journey, step by step, that gives all the information needed
for readers to make a final decision and act upon it.
3. FAB Formula
Features, Advantages, and Benefits.
Features are attractive assets the product or service offers. Advantages show how this
product or service is better than others. Benefits show how the reader is going to have a
much better life by using the product or service and the end results it provides.
4. OATH Formula
Oblivious, Apathetic, Thinking, or Hurting.
Here you point out to the reader something they may not have ever been aware was
lacking in their life, or they didn’t know there was even a solution to the problem they
had. When you provide the solution, the reader is no longer oblivious and apathetic.
There is hope that a situation is going to get much better just by using the product or
service. The need to use the solution becomes more and more important to solving
painful issues.
5. FORCEPS Formula
Factual, Optical, Reversal, Credential, Evidential, Perceptual, and Social proof.
This is where you provide proof of all that is said about the product or service. Proof can
be in testimonials, pictures, test results, official documentation, and anything else that
helps you convince the reader of the truth.
1. Headline:
The headline consists of three elements: the pre-headline, the main headline, and the post-
head. The pre-headline is where the targeted reader is hooked and can’t wait to read further
to find out what’s next; the main headline provides the big selling point or benefit which
engages the reader’s emotional interest; and the post-head clarifies the first two parts.
2. The story:
This tells the story that grabs the readers’ emotions and sets them up to hear about the
product or service offer that will solve the problems the story told them about. Those
problems are also the readers’ problems—they relate to the story as seeing themselves in
the leading role.
3. Your credibility:
The proof is given here, whether it is in statistics, testimonials, newspaper and magazine
reviews, trade magazine features, tested results, anything that says to the readers that it
must be true if this proof is given. If you have professional knowledge, expertise, and
credentials, that would back what you say about the product or service, then present that
as proof too.
4. Benefits:
Make it easy to see the benefits by using bullets for each benefit and make each bullet
carry its own weight in supporting the benefit.
6. Bonuses:
Give readers an added value by offering something additional when they buy within a
certain time frame. This can be a free offering such a trade report giving additional
information, three months free membership in a connected VIP club, or money back with
a mail-in rebate.
7. Value build-up:
Justify the product or service cost by showing how using it will make the customer’s life
better, easier, safer, happier, more so than the cost of the product. It’s always good to add
a bit of pressure by saying there is a limited supply or a limited time to purchase this. Say
the product is discounted until midnight the following day, or will no longer be available
to the general public after midnight. Make sure they will see what they lose out on if they
don’t go with the purchase NOW!
8. Ordering:
You have to make it easy to complete the intended action…which is to make the
purchase. Every step is outlined on how to do that in your ordering form and you also
have to make it easy to make the payment. Get a PayPal account or any other reputable
company that will service your needs for you and also keep accurate records of online
transactions.
9. Post Script:
All you need to do here is summarize everything that went before and for the last time,
ask again for the sale or order.
John Forde, another well-known prolific copywriter, has worked out a system of questions to ask
yourself that will get at least a decent piece of copy onto the page. Then you can build from
there.
So, if you find yourself stuck without anything to say, try the following questions and use the
answers to build your copy.
To be successful, here are three important points your Website must include:
3. You must present a complete and compelling case for buying your product or
service.
Stick with simple and direct copy on your Website. Don’t try to sell too many other
products on the same page. Concentrate everything at the one product you have to offer.
Keep your sales letter focused on that one product or service.
Justin Schultz, business development consultant, speaker, author, and copywriter, has developed
a 12-step Internet Copywriting Formula that he says will “skyrocket your sales by a bare-bones
minimum of 27 percent.” He bases this on his knowledge of psychology and human behavior as
well as years of copywriting experience in direct response advertising and direct mail.
Headline - Opening Hook - Features and Benefits - Unique Selling Proposition - Credibility
- Bullets - Price and Bargain Appeal - Guarantee - Don’t Decide Now - Bonuses - You
Can’t Lose - P.S. = Money
Headline - lead with the most important message about what you’re selling
Opening Hook - grab the customers with the ‘hook’ that gets them wanting to read
more
Features and Benefits - here is where you show the most important benefits in
descending order of importance, along with important features
Unique Selling Proposition – the big selling point, the twist that everything else is
based on
Credibility – selling based on facts gathered from tests, research and other discovery
Bullets – makes it easier for the readers’ eyes to see each benefit and feature
Price and Bargain Appeal – show how the customer is getting value above and
beyond the actual pricing
Guarantee – If not satisfied within 30 days, then refund the money. Customers feel
easier about spending money because they know they can still get it back if not happy
with the results.
Don’t Decide Now – take 30 days to decide if this product is for you
Bonuses – buy in the next 12 hours and you’ll also get a free widget or report
You Can’t Lose – keep the widget even if you return the product and get a full
refund. Now how can you lose with that kind of deal!
P.S. – oh, and one more thing…When you buy today, you will receive instant access
to a free Webinar that will show how to make $5,000 in the next month!
Schultz also says that knowing what buttons to push in what order and how, maximizes chances
for a sale. While not a guarantee, it does up the advantage. He also points out that if you
reviewed a random sampling of Websites, almost 99% do not even push HALF the formula
buttons. This formula, when followed, gives you a tremendous advantage! Follow the formula
and good luck!!
Headline Formulas
10 Headline Formulas That Work Like Magic
The most important part of your copy will be the headline. Spend time getting this part right and
the rest will follow. Your first few sentences can mean life or death for the message in the rest of
the copy. Therefore, it’s crucial to get it right, to hit the customers and reel them in for the rest of
the message.
Miguel Alvarez, Copywriting.com, has come up with his own system for headline formulas. Try
these out to help you develop your headlines to be all that they can be. His suggestion is that you
write at least five different headlines for each type of headline listed below. That helps you get
creative and thinking about different ways to present your product or service.
a) Buy now before the deadline is up and you get 10% off!
b) Sign up here to get your free reports on building wealth in 10 months!
Traditionally, print copy can handle a 10-12 page sales letter because the customer is just sitting
there relaxing and reading. On a screen, like television, customers tend to get the drift of the
letter within the first few paragraphs, if written well, and will skip ahead to make the purchase.
We are also talking about targeted marketing here because someone, who wants to make a
purchase after reading half a page of copy, is already geared to such a purchase from past
experience by the seller. Other customers will read into the next several pages and start
formulating whether they want to make the purchase right then or wait a few days.
Devised by Brett Gilbertson, www.conversionrate.com, here are five vital questions to use every
time.
products. The rest of the letter is for those who need more convincing and are perhaps first-time
buyers of this product.
In fact, you can make a game out of it by trying to come up with five different headlines for
everyone of them you collect. You can never use exactly the same headline someone else has
written but you can alter it and change it to say what you need, without using someone else’s
work directly. Two questions you can ask yourself are: “What is it?” and “What will it do for
me?” And keep your headlines short, snappy, and to the point.
Step #2: Don't waste their time, get right to the point
Keep your reader interested by getting right to the point. List the issues the customer is trying to
get solved and show how, in the next section, the product information will explain how it solves
those problems.
Here are two important bullets to include at the end of your copy:
Note: Bullet points should always have the first letter of every word capitalized and never end
with a period.
Or if it is something to be sent, you can give your customer two options: free ground mail, or
overnight delivery with an added fee.
If you can’t figure out the best way to ask for the sale, then begin studying different sales letters,
Web copy, anything that stirs you to make a purchase. Follow the same outline (without copying
directly) and you will begin making sales.
2 – What was the problem? How was it hurting the customer’s business?
Identify here what it was that was causing so much trouble for customers in working with
prototypes of the product or service and showing how the customer suffered from the problem.
3 – What solutions did they look at, ultimately reject, and why?
Describe the process the company traveled through to finally make a determination on the
appropriate solution. This includes all failed tests that went before, mainly to show the customers
not to waste their time trying those avenues.
5 – Describe the implementation of the product, including any problems and how they were
solved.
This would be a place for testimonials, testing surveys, statistics, and any final results that prove
this product works, even over unforeseen problems.
You would show here what has happened to the customer’s business since the solution has been
implemented and also describe how it was set up to solve the problem.
SELWAB Formula
Start Every Letter With A Benefit
The goal is to capture the reader right from the beginning, whether in the header or in the first
few opening sentences. State a benefit that you know your target audience is going to be very
interested in.
Say that you have just put together a new vitamin-B complex with more content than the average
B pill on the market. In targeting a listing of health consumers, show that each of the B vitamins
included in the package contains 100 mgs, or 100mcgs, providing a very balanced and effective
method of sustained energy throughout the day. You can point out that this gives a person taking
this once a day much more energy and stamina than the traditional once-a-day vitamin pill which
normally has ridiculously low amounts of everything, none of which is enough to make a dent in
the body’s needs for health maintenance.
Additionally, if the consumer orders two bottles within a certain time period, they can have a
third one for free. Not only that, buyers will also get coupons to use towards future purchases.
Those buyers interested in maintaining their health on a consistent basis, will jump at the chance
to try out this new product. The feature is that there is more of every vitamin B in this complex
version. The benefit is the good health gained from taking it. If it lives up to its promise, then
they will be repeat customers.
1. Always present the benefit in the headline and the proposition within the first few
sentences. This grabs the readers into wanting to know more about what’s in it for
them and they will want to read more.
2. Give the readers something that is specific to the product, differentiating it from the
competition. It makes your product or service stand out from every other product and
gives the promise of uniquely solving the problem for the customer.
3. Your unique proposition must convince readers to switch to your product and be
broad enough to target a large audience rather than a small specific audience.
Study some of the popular advertisements out on the market these days. Diagram out how many
of these follow the three attributes rule. When you have seen enough of these, then you will be
able to create your own using the same formula.
Grab ‘em by the eyeballs: Use the headline to grab the readers’ attention so they
will have to read more.
Bribe him to read this: Let the readers know what they will be learning about and
the added benefits you plan on giving them if they do so.
Get his juices flowing: Use creative and emotion-based story telling which appeals
to the senses.
Make him believe it: Be sure to provide testimonials from users, statistics from
scientific tests and reports, anything that provides validation in the eyes of the
readers.
Get back on track: Show how all the benefits will help the readers and focus on
those results.
Make the offer: Reinforce the headline benefit, add in other supporting benefits, and
show how the price is really a bargain.
Relieve risk: You can add a guarantee here, some kind of money back offer after 30
days. This convinces the readers that spending money with you is a good risk as they
can get it back if unhappy with the results.
Sum up: Here you state everything again one last time and ask for the sale. Make it
easy for the customer to make the purchase right then. They can fill out an online
form or call an 800 number and provide information over the phone. Outline the
differences between using the product or service and how the customers would feel if
they didn’t take advantage of the deal right away.
Sweeten the pot: This is where you can add a bonus for acting within 24 hours or
perhaps purchasing an extra product at a discount.
Add an urgency element: Offer a time limit with a valid reason why there is a
deadline. Maybe Congress is getting ready to pass a bill that will directly impact
making this purchase at the same price. The customer has to purchase it now in order
to take advantage of any discounts and other offers.
Attention is the beginning of the copy, a headline that grabs the readers, makes them put
everything aside and focus on the copy. Something in the headline tells them that this is what
they’ve been looking for and now they need to read further to find out more. Additionally, there
is a unique hook which sets this product or service apart from any other product or service. It
promises to be special!
The next step, Interest, gives more information to the readers and rewards them for having read
further by giving out more details about the product or service. This is sinking or setting the hook
in so you can pull in harder with less chance of losing the readers.
It is important here to provide features and benefits and to differentiate between the two. A
feature might be something about a refrigerator, for instance. It is 27 cubic feet total but the
benefit of this is that the inner compartments are larger and can store much more food than ever
before.
The third step, Desire, is where you lay the ground for introducing emotional elements of the
copy, words that cause your readers to become involved with the product or service. There are
feelings of need, want, desire, desperation, a sense of lack, that unless the readers purchase now,
they cannot get rid of those irritating feelings. It is always important to remember here that you
are writing for the readers’ emotions, not yours. Keep it focused on them.
The final step is the Action that needs to be taken—the purchase of the product or service. You
must ALWAYS ask for the sale here. Show how easy it is to make the purchase and give a
number of options on how to make the payment. Make it as easy as possible for your readers to
make the final step. If this part is difficult, you could easily lose over half of your potential sales.
Attention: Recently fired from a job and need a new resume? We can help!!
Interest: If you already have one, we can look at it and give advice for a reduced fee,
saving many dollars that you need for food right now. Or we will build you a new one
fast! (Benefit)
Desire: (Benefit) Save even more on your fee if you refer a new paying customer to
us in the next 24 hours.
Action: Fill out the form, send any attachments, and we will get back with you
promptly.
Use this outline formula and you will succeed in laying out a successful sales letter in the first
round of proofing.
The first 50 were outlined in Geoff Ayling’s book, “Rapid Response Advertising.” The 51st one
is provided by Jay Conrad Levinson, writer of “Guerilla Marketing.”
20. To express love – one of the noblest reasons to make any purchase
21. To be entertained – because entertainment is usually fun
22. To be organized – because order makes lives simpler
23. To feel safe – because security is a basic human need
24. To conserve energy – their own or their planet’s sources of energy
25. To be accepted – because that means security as well as love
26. To save time – because they know time is more valuable than money
27. To become more fit and healthy – seems to me that’s an easy sale
28. To attract the opposite sex – never undermine the power of love
29. To protect their family – tapping into another basic human need
30. To emulate others – because the world is teeming with role models
31. To protect their reputation – because they worked hard to build it
32. To feel superior – which is why status symbols are sought after
33. To be trendy – because they know their friends will notice
34. To be excited – because people need excitement in a humdrum life
35. To communicate better – because they want to be understood
36. To preserve the environment – giving rise to cause-related marketing
37. To satisfy an impulse – a basic reason behind a multitude of purchases
38. To save money – the most important reason to 14% of the population
39. To be cleaner – because unclean often goes with unhealthy and unloved
40. To be popular – because inclusion beats exclusion every time
41. To gratify curiosity – it killed the cat but motivates the sale
42. To satisfy their appetite – because hunger is not a good thing
43. To be individual – because all of us are, and some of us need assurance
44. To escape stress – need I explain?
45. To gain convenience – because simplicity makes life easier
46. To be informed – because it’s no joy to be perceived as ignorant
47. To give to others – another way you can nourish your soul
48. To feel younger – because that equates with vitality and energy
49. To pursue a hobby – because all work and no play etc. etc. etc.
50. To leave a legacy – because that’s a way to live forever
51. To avoid feeling pain – whether physical or emotional
“Our new ad campaign’s main goal is to create awareness and build image, not generate sales
leads,” the ad manager explained. “But my management still tends to judge ads by counting the
number of inquiries they bring in. Is there some way I can increase my ad’s pulling power
without destroying the basic campaign concept?”
Fortunately, the answer is yes. There are proven techniques you can use to increase any ads
pulling power, whether your main goal is inquiries or image. Here are 31 techniques that can
work for you:
1. Ask for action. Tell the reader to phone, write, contact his sales rep, request technical
literature or place an order.
3. Describe your brochure or catalog. Tell about its special features, such as a selection
chart, planning guide, installation tips or other useful information it contains.
5. Give your literature a title that implies value. “Product Guide” is better than
“catalog.” “Planning Kit” is better than “sales brochure.”
6. Include your address in the last paragraph of copy and beneath your logo, in type that
is easy to read. (Also place it inside the coupon, if you use one).
9. Put a small sketch of a telephone next to the phone number. Also use the phrase,
“Call toll-free.”
10. Create a hot line. For example, a filter manufacturer might have a toll-free hot line
with the numbers 1-800-FILTERS. Customers can call the hot line to place an order
to get more information on the manufacturer’s products.
11. For a full-page ad, use a coupon. It will increase response 25% to 100%.
12. Make the coupon large enough that readers have plenty of room to write in their name
and address.
13. Give the coupon a headline that affirms positive action —”Yes, I’d like to cut my
energy costs by 50% or more.”
14. Give the reader multiple response options—”I’d like to see a demonstration,” “Have a
salesperson call,” “Send me a free planning kit by return mail.”
15. For a fractional ad (one-half page or less) put a heavy dashed border around the ad.
This creates the feel and appearance of a coupon, which in turn stimulates response.
16. In the closing copy for your fractional ad, say, “To receive more information, clip this
ad and mail it to us with your business card.”
17. A bound-in business reply card, appearing opposite your ad, can increase response by
a factor or two or more.
18. Use a direct headline—one that promises a benefit or stresses the offer of free
information—rather than a headline that is cute or clever.
19. Put your offer of a free booklet, report, selection guide or other publication in the
headline of your ad.
20. Offer a free gift, such a slide rule, metric conversion table, pocket ruler, etc.
22. Offer a free consultation, analysis, recommendation, study, cost estimate, computer
printout, etc.
23. Talk about the value and benefits of your free offer. The more you stress the offer, the
better your response.
24. Highlight the free offer in a copy subhead. The last subhead of your ad could read,
“Get the facts—Free.”
25. In a two-page ad, run copy describing your offer in a separate sidebar.
26. Be sure the magazine includes a reader service number in your ad.
27. Use copy and graphics that specifically point the reader toward using the reader
service number. For example, an arrow pointing to the number and copy that says,
“For more information circle reader service number below.”
28. Consider using more than one reader service number. For example, one number for
people who want literature, another for immediate response from a salesperson.
29. In a full-page ad for multiple products, have a separate reader service number for
each product or piece of literature featured in the ad.
30. Test different ads. Keep track of how many inquiries each ad pulls. Then run only
those ads that pull the best.
31. Look for a sales appeal, key benefit, or theme that may be common to all of your
best-pulling ads. Highlight that theme in subsequent ads.
My proven SEO copywriting process results in highly persuasive pages that are written first and
foremost for the human reader—your prospect.
Yet these clear, smooth-reading pages are fully optimized. Result: significantly higher Google
rankings generating more unique visitors.
2—Keyword selection - from the list of keywords developed in step one, select the one
keyword for which the page we are writing should be optimized.
The keyword should be one that closely relates to the topic covered in the copy on that
page.
3—Write persuasive copy for a human reader - that's right—forget about search
engines for now. Your first draft should be the strongest, most natural-sounding piece of
copy you can write, targeted 100% at the prospect reading the page.
4—Add keywords to the copy - now go back and selectively insert the keyword into the
copy as often as you can—without making the page sound forced or unnatural. If
inserting a keyword in a sentence results in bad copy, don't use it. Leave the sentence as
is. Ignore rigid formulas that specify keyword density, position, or frequency of insertion.
I do recommend that if it does not interfere with powerful copywriting, we place the
keyword in the headline…the first sentence…the last sentence…and of course within the
middle paragraphs as appropriate.
5—Write metatags - this is part of the HTML code of the page. The steps in writing the
metatags are:
Description tag: this is what the user sees on the search engine results page (SERP) -
maximum length is 220 characters.
Keyword tag: place the main keyword for the page and any related keywords in this tag.
6—Post the page…drive traffic to it…and use an analytics package to measure the key
performance metrics.
The most important metric is where the page ranks on Google for the keyword for which
we have optimized it.
7—Monitor and tweak - continually track page rank…if it falls below the desired
position (ideally, the top five for that keyword), tweak it to see if you can improve the
position.
As a shortcut, here’s a partial collection of such headlines from my vast swipe file, organized by
category so as to make clear the approach being used:
9. Tell a story.
“They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano…But When I Started to Play.”
19. Be specific.
“At 60 Miles an Hour, the Loudest Noise in This New Rolls Royce Comes from the
Electric Clock.”
In direct marketing, structure is key: if your copy does not follow the formula for persuasion, it
won’t work…no matter how creative you get.
There have been numerous formulas for writing persuasive copy throughout the years. The most
famous of these is probably AIDA, which stands for attention, interest, desire, and action.
In copywriting seminars I’ve taught a variation on AIDA known as the “motivating sequence.”
You already know many methods of getting attention, and see dozens of examples of them in
action every day. In TV and magazine advertising, sex is often used to gain attention for products
ranging from soft drinks and cars to diets and exercise programs.
But what are the chances that the prospect is thinking about this problem when she gets your
promotion? Probably not great.
So the first thing you have to do is to focus the prospect’s attention on the need or problem your
product addresses. Only then can you talk to them about a solution.
For instance, if you are selling an economical office telephone system, instead of starting off by
talking about your system, you might say, “Are you sick and tired of skyrocketing long-distance
phone bills?”
This can be a quick transition; here’s an example from a fundraising letter from the Red Cross:
Step 4: Proof.
As Mark Joyner points out in his new book The Irresistible Offer (John Wiley & Sons, 2005),
one of the questions at the tip of your prospect’s tongue upon receiving your promotion is, “Why
should I believe you?”
You answer that question by offering proof. That proof is of two sorts.
The first type of proof goes to credibility. It convinces the prospect that you, the seller, are a
reputable firm or individual, and therefore someone to be trusted. A diploma from a prestigious
medical school displayed prominently on a doctor’s office wall is an example of proof of
credibility.
The second type of proof has to do with the product, and convinces the buyer that your product
can do what you say it can do. Testimonials, case histories, reviews, performance graphs, and
test results are examples of proof in this category.
Step 5: Action.
The final step is to ask for action. Your goal is usually to generate either an inquiry or an order.
To ask for action in direct marketing, we make an “offer.” I define the offer as “what the reader
gets when she responds to your promotion, combined with what she has to do to get it.”
In a lead-generating direct mail package, the offer might be as simple as “mail back the enclosed
reply card for our free catalog.”
In a mail order online promotion, the offer might be “click here, enter your credit card
information, and purchase our product on a 30-day money back trial basis for $49.95 plus $4.95
shipping and handling.”
I am willing to wager that every successful piece of copy you have ever mailed or e-mailed
follows, to some extent, the steps in the motivating sequence…even if you’ve never heard of it
before.
That’s because you have an instinct for how to sell, and that instinct leads you to organize your
selling arguments according to the motivating sequence.
So, if you can sell instinctively, then what use is knowing AIDA, the motivating sequence, or
other persuasion formulas?
The answer is this: when you have the steps written out in front of you, you can more
consciously make sure that you’ve handled all five steps fully and in correct sequence…and
make sure no step is short-changed or left out…increasing your odds of writing a winner.
Well, in my opinion, the four most important factors to consider when choosing a premium are:
value, novelty, relevance, and desirability.
1. Perceived value
A good premium either (a) has a highly perceived value or (b) has a value that the reader cannot
determine. The worst premium is an item that the prospect sees as having a low value.
Example: a well-known financial newsletter publisher did a series of blanket renewals with each
offering a different premium for early renewal.
One of the best-performing premiums was a video of the editor giving financial advice. The
promotion positioned it as a free financial consultation with the editor in the privacy of your own
home.
One of the worst-performing premiums was a pack of playing cards with the editor’s picture on
each card.
Why didn’t playing cards work well as a premium? One reason is low perceived value.
You can buy a deck of playing cards in any drugstore or stationery store for a dollar or so.
Therefore, the perceived value of the playing card deck premium was about a dollar.
The video, by comparison, has a much higher perceived value: videos can sell for anywhere from
$19 to $79 or even higher.
And since the editor was a highly paid investment advisor, positioning the video as a free one-
hour “consultation” with him boosted the perceived value even higher.
Readers knew such a consultation would cost several thousand dollars, if the editor would even
agree to it.
2. Novelty
As a rule of thumb, unique premiums generally—but not always—pull better than “me-too” or
commodity premiums.
Newsletter and magazine publishers know that an exclusive special report, written by the editor
on a topic of interest, is an effective premium because it is a unique item: the reader can’t get it
anywhere else.
On the other hand, offering best-selling books as subscription premiums has generally not
worked well, because the item is so readily available: if the premium is a best-seller, there is an
excellent chance the reader already has it—and if not, he can just pop into a bookstore and pick
one up, without subscribing to your publication.
One subscription premium that did extremely well was a coffee mug for Advertising Age. Of
course, coffee mugs are about as ordinary an item as you can get.
But here was the gimmick: the artwork on the mug looked like a faux front page of Advertising
Age. Each mug was laser-imprinted with the subscriber’s name incorporated into a headline, e.g.,
“Jane Smith wins Advertising Age’s ‘Advertising Genius’ award.”
3. Relevance
Many consumer marketers have found that premiums having little or no relationship to the
product have worked extremely well. Examples include free telephones, tote bags, and solar
calculators.
On the other hand many other consumer marketers, and a large number of business-to-business
marketers, have found that they get a better lead or customer when they offer a premium that’s
relevant to the product.
Years ago, Weka Publishing mailed a package offering a loose-leaf service on managing Novell
networks. When they tested the control against a version offering a disk with five free utility and
shareware programs for Novell, orders doubled.
4. Desirability
The more desirable the free gift, the greater the number of prospects who will respond to your
promotion to get it.
One of the best premiums I’ve ever seen was for the Sovereign Society, a financial newsletter
focusing on offshore asset protection. If you subscribed to the newsletter, the publisher would
open a Swiss bank account for you!
Offering the Swiss bank account as a premium meets all four criteria with flying colors:
1. Perceived value. How much should it cost to open a Swiss bank account? I have no idea,
and probably, neither did the subscriber. But prospects knew that Swiss bank accounts
were something rich people generally had—“NOT just for millionaires anymore” the
headline exclaimed—and so the perceived value by logical extension was probably high.
2. Novelty. Most financial newsletters offer special reports as premiums. The idea of
offering a free Swiss bank account was clever and unique.
3. Relevant. Offering a free Swiss bank account as the premium is directly relevant to the
newsletter’s core proposition of helping readers protect their assets offshore.
4. Desirability. High. Even if you don’t have a lot of assets you need to hide offshore, it’s a
status thing: casually mentioning your “Swiss bank account” to neighbors impresses the
heck out of them—giving the customer immense pleasure and satisfying the need for
exclusivity.
50 Lead-generating Tips
What should you know when planning a lead-generating direct mail program? Here are a few
pointers to guide you in the right direction:
1. How many steps are there in the buying process for this product? Where in this
process does my mailing fit?
2. What can I tell my prospect that will get him to take the next step in the buying
process?
3. Can I reduce selling costs by creating a mailing designed to produce a direct sale (a
mail order) instead of any inquiry?
4. How many leads do I want to generate? Do we want a large quantity of “soft” leads?
Or are we better off getting a smaller number of more highly qualified leads?
5. What happens if the mailing produces too many leads? Too few?
6. Is there a geographic region that my sales force does not cover? How can I respond to
inquiries from this region?
7. What is the primary market for my product or service? (Which industry needs it
most?)
8. Are there any secondary markets for the product large enough to justify a custom-
tailored version of the mailing?
9. Who is my primary prospect within the target industry? What is his or her job title?
Function?
10. Who are the other people (by job title) involved in the purchase decision for this
product? What are their roles? (Who recommends the product? Who specifies it?
Who has authority to approve the purchase?)
11. Must we reach all of these prospects? Or can we generate the desired sales result by
targeting only one or two key decision makers at each prospect organization?
12. If we don’t know who we should be mailing to, how can we find out? From our sales
representatives? Market research? Direct mail?
13. If we don’t know what we should be telling our potential customers about our
product, how can we find out?
14. Should we tailor versions of our sales letter either to vertical markets or various job
titles—or both?
16. What offer are we using in our current mailing? Is there a way to make the offer
stronger or better?
17. Is the prospect in need of information about our product or the problem it solves? Can
we package this information in a booklet or report and offer it as a response piece in
our mailing?
18. Does our sales process involve a face-to-face meeting with the prospect? Can we
legitimately call this sales meeting a “free consultation” and feature it as the offer in
our mailing?
19. Do we allow the user to sample our product on a free trial basis? Should we be
stressing this free trial offer in our mailing?
20. Do we offer our mail customers a free gift, price discount, free shipping and handling,
or other money-saving incentive for responding to our mailing? If not, why not?
21. What reason or incentive can we give the reader to respond NOW and not later?
22. Can we use telemarketing to qualify sales leads generated by our direct mail
program?
24. Can we use telemarketing to identify and pre-sell prospects before we send them our
mailing package?
25. What format is best for our mailing? Full-blown direct mail package (letter, brochure,
reply card)? Or sales letter only?
27. What graphic treatment is appropriate for our audience? Should it be businesslike or
bright and loud? Should it be “disguised” as personal correspondence or clearly
marked (by use of teaser and graphics) as direct mail?
28. What copy approach should I use? Serious or breezy? Educational and informative
vs. hard sell?
33. How many mailings should I send to my list before giving up on people who do not
respond?
34. In a series of mailings, am I using a variety of different sizes and formats to gain
attention for my message?
36. Are hot sales leads separated for immediate follow up by sales representatives or
telephone salespeople?
37. What is the conversion ratio (the percentage of mail-generated inquiries that result in
a sale)?
38. Are our salespeople competent? If not, what can we do to ensure better handling of
sales leads?
40. Do salespeople welcome direct mail leads or do they grumble about them? Why?
41. Are there qualifying questions we can add to our reply form to help salespeople
separate genuine prospects from “brochure collectors”?
43. Do we have a sufficient quantity of sales brochures on hand to fulfill all requests for
more information—assuming we get a 10 percent response to our mailing?
44. Do we get a better quality lead by requiring the prospect to put a stamp on the reply
card rather than offering a postage-paid business reply card?
45. Do we get better sales results from prospects who respond by telephone versus those
who mail in reply cards?
46. Does our fulfillment package or sales brochure provide the prospect with the
information he asked for? And does it do a good job of selling our product or service?
47. Do we include a cover letter with the brochures and data sheets we send in response
to mail-generated inquiries?
48. Do we include a questionnaire, spec sheet, or some other type of reply form with our
inquiry fulfillment package?
49. Do we automatically send follow-up mailings to prospects who don’t respond to the
inquiry fulfillment package?
50. Should we be more vigorous in our program of follow-up mailings and phone calls?
2. News: Joint ventures; mergers and acquisitions; new divisions formed; new
departments; other company news. Also, industry news and analyses of events and
trends.
4. How-to articles: Similar to tips, but with more detailed instructions. Examples: How
to use the product; how to design a system; how to select the right type or model.
5. Previews and reports: Write-ups of special events such as trade shows, conferences,
sales meetings, seminars, presentations, and press conferences.
8. Milestones: e.g., "1,000th unit shipped," "Sales reach $1 million mark," "Division
celebrates 10th anniversary," etc.
9. Sales news: New customers; bids accepted; contracts renewed; satisfied customer
reports.
10. Research and development: New products; new technologies; new patents;
technology awards; inventions; innovations; and breakthroughs.
13. Customer stories: Interviews with customers; photos; customer news and profiles;
guest articles by customers about their industries, applications, and positive
experiences with the vendor's product or service.
14. Financial news: Quarterly and annual report highlights; presentations to financial
analysts; earnings and dividend news; etc.
16. Columns: President's letter; letters to the editor; guest columns; regular features
such as "Q&A" or "Tech Talk."
17. Excerpts, reprints, or condensed versions of: Press releases; executive speeches;
journal articles; technical papers; company seminars; etc.
18. Quality control stories: Quality circles; employee suggestion programs; new quality
assurance methods; success rates; case histories.
19. Productivity stories: New programs; methods and systems to cut waste and boost
efficiency.
20. Manufacturing stories: New techniques; equipment; raw materials; production line
successes; detailed explanations of manufacturing processes; etc.
21. Community affairs: Fund-raisers; special events; support for the arts; scholarship
programs; social responsibility programs; environmental programs; employee and
corporate participation in local/regional/national events.
22. Data processing stories: New computer hardware and software systems; improved
data processing and its benefits to customers; new data processing applications;
explanations of how systems serve customers.
26. Human resources: Company benefits programs; announcement of new benefits and
training and how they improve service to customers; explanations of company
policies.
27. Interviews: With company key employees, engineers, service personnel, etc.; with
customers; with suppliers (to illustrate the quality of materials going into your
company's products).
28. Forums: Top managers answer customer complaints and concerns; service
managers discuss customer needs; customers share their favorable experiences with
company products/ services.
1. Engineers look down on advertising and advertising people, for the most part.
Engineers have a low opinion of advertising—and of people whose job it is to create advertising.
The lesson for the business-to-business marketer? Make your advertising and direct mail
informational and professional, not gimmicky or promotional. Avoid writing that sounds like “ad
copy.” Don’t use slick graphics that immediately identify a brochure or spec sheet as
“advertising.” The engineer will be quick to reject such material as “fluff.”
Engineers want to believe they are not influenced by ad copy—and that they make their
decisions based on technical facts that are beyond a copywriter’s understanding. Let them
believe it—as long as they respond to our ads and buy our products.
Unfortunately, there is much evidence to the contrary. In many tests of ads and direct mailings, I
have seen straightforward, low-key, professional approaches equal or outpull “glitzy” ads and
mailings repeatedly. One of my clients tested two letters offering a financial book aimed at
engineers. A straightforward, benefit-oriented letter clearly outpulled a “bells-and-whistles”
creative package. And I see this result repeated time and time again.
But with the engineering audience, it is often the opposite. The buying decision is what we call a
“considered purchase” rather than an impulse buy. That is, the buyer carefully weighs the facts,
makes comparisons, and buys based on what product best fulfills his requirement.
Certainly, there are emotional components to the engineer’s buying decision. For instance,
preference for one vendor over another is often based more on gut feeling than actual fact. But
for the most part, an engineer buying a new piece of equipment will analyze the features and
technical specifications in much greater depth than a consumer buying a stereo, computer, or
other sophisticated electronic device.
Copy aimed at engineers cannot be superficial. Clarity is essential. Do not disguise the nature of
what you are selling in an effort to “tease” the reader into your copy, as you might do with a
consumer mail order offer. Instead, make it immediately clear what you are offering and how it
meets the engineer’s needs.
4. Engineers want to know the features and specifications, not just the benefits.
In consumer advertising classes, we are taught that benefits are everything, and that features are
unimportant. But engineers need to know the features of your product—performance
characteristics, efficiency ratings, power requirements and technical specifications—in order to
make an intelligent buying decision.
5. Engineers are not turned off by jargon—in fact, they like it.
Consultants teaching business writing seminars tell us to avoid jargon because it interferes with
clear communication.
This certainly is true when trying to communicate technical concepts to lay audiences such as the
general public or top management. But jargon can actually enhance communication when
appealing to engineers, computer specialists, and other technical audiences.
Why is jargon effective? Because it shows the reader that you speak his language. When you
write direct response copy, you want the reader to get the impression you’re like him, don’t you?
And doesn’t speaking his language accomplish that?
Actually, engineers are not unique in having their “secret language” for professional
communication. People in all fields publicly denounce jargon but privately love it. For instance,
who aside from direct marketers has any idea of what a “nixie” is? And why use that term,
except to make our work seem special and important?
You should use these visual devices when writing to engineers—for two reasons. First, engineers
are comfortable with them and understand them. Second, these visuals immediately say to the
engineer, “This is solid technical information, not promotional fluff.”
The best visuals are those specific to the engineer’s specialty. Electrical engineers like circuit
diagrams. Computer programmers feel comfortable looking at flow charts. Systems analysts use
structured diagrams. Learn the visual language of your target audience and have your artist use
these symbols and artwork throughout your ad, brochure, or mailer.
4) Add a picture or two, some kind of imagery that pulls the readers’ eyes in and reinforces
visually what is being said to the readers.
3. Make your case by showing how this will work for the readers.
While you don’t say everything here, you can support what you are telling them by
offering facts and results.
2. After analyzing the questionnaire, you can ask more questions to fill out areas and
also start doing research on the project. Start your basic copy in some kind of plain
text editor where you can easily arrange and rearrange information as it comes in.
You can also save active links there too.
3. In researching different areas, you will learn more and more about the product as a
natural process of arranging and developing your information. You will develop more
avenues to research for what you need, including interviewing key personnel involved
with the product or service.
4. During the research you would now begin arranging the information into a
comprehensive article and continue to do more development as further questions
come up. You will also want to make sure you know who the audience is so the
writing is geared directly to them.
5. On the fifth step, begin creating what some call a platform where the writing is geared
to the emotional level of the readers. It is the copy that grabs them, presents the key
points to providing a solution needed by the readers, and shows how this will make
the problem go away or be solved.
6. Arrange your sections so that they have a good flow and transition from one section
to the next and make sure the readers don’t get dropped anywhere along the way. Use
the AIDA formula (Attraction, Interest, Desire, Action) to help maintain the flow.
7. Once everything is set, then you can begin tightening and making your copy sharper
and more direct. When you have finished your work, take time to read it aloud and
see how it rolls from your mouth. If you trip up anywhere, then that part may need a
rewrite. What you are looking for here is the natural flow and pulse of the copy. Have
someone proofread it to make sure the writing is correct.
8. The copy is then presented to the client for review and if needed, fine-tuned so that
everyone is happy with the final result.
There is never a real guarantee that the copy will do everything it is meant to do and that can
stem from outside factors you have no control over, such as the economy, the timing for the
product or service, or any other number of factors. If you do your part in the beginning, then
from this point on, it is a matter of testing the market to see what happens. Sometimes, you will
need to rewrite parts of the piece and retest the send out. It helps when the client acts as a partner
and keeps you informed on the results during the course of the marketing campaign.
1. Identify the reader – know who will be reading this and why they would need to read
this to begin with.
2. Summarize the challenge – show here what the problem was that led to the solution
developed to solve the problem.
3. Summarize the solution – outline how the solution came about and all the ways it
solves the problem including anything that was an unforeseen benefit.
4. State the goal – the paper was created for a specific reason…to elicit an
action…whether to change readers’ opinions or to have them purchase the product or
service.
Stelzer says to view your format for the first page, see it like you were watching a movie trailer.
Think how one persuades you to run out to see the movie using only 30 seconds to grab, hold
and entice you to go see the movie. It is a teaser of what’s to come but that is only hinted at. The
clip leaves you thinking that the outcome could be this way or maybe that way….you’re not
sure….but you have to go see the movie to find out!
Always use the rules of basic journalism below to review your press release
(from an article by Mass Media Distribution LLC)
Is there any way that you can make your press release more interesting, timely or
unique?
Is your press release more than 200 words and less than 500?
Did you add ### to the bottom of the press release to signify the end?
Is your headline clear and to the point? Can it be shortened without losing
anything?
Are all details of the "Who, What, When, Where, How and Why" covered in the
body of the press release?
Have you looked at other press releases to make sure yours looks correct and does
not leave out any information?
A key point she uses is making sure there is an angle. It’s making the ordinary seem
extraordinary by showing how new developments in manufacturing a product puts it above all
others. It can be features, or benefits, or even both!
Use any of the seven below that fits what you need to write about.
1. The How-To
People always want to learn how to do something and that means the self-help genre of writing
will never go away! If you have a special interest and are an expert at it, consider writing an
article along with other resource links that readers can go to.
2. The List
Give a brief introduction about the list you are providing and then use numbers or bullets to list
everything out. You can also use numbers in your headline to catch the readers’ eyes better such
as “12 Ways to Clean Your House in 1 Hour or Less.”
5. The Interview
You can do this two ways, for example. Many article interviews are presented just like a
transcript, giving the reader a sense of actually “listening in” and also providing an interviewee’s
tone of voice. The other way is to present it just like a traditional article or feature story.
6. The Trend
People always want to know more about trends, what’s behind them, why one got started, the
benefits and even drawbacks of following the trend.
Essential to success is the CTR (click-through rate) using ad words known to attract search
engines and customers and at the same time, highlighting how different your product is because
it is of equal value but cheaper than another product, maybe higher quality, or more variations on
selections. Then comes testing the market to see what is successful, and making changes
whenever necessary. Use these words in your headline, your URL, all the while keeping it
grammatically correct.
Use eye catchers like “discounts, free, 2 for 1,” anything that makes a reader perk up and read
more to see what’s in it for him. Keep your ads very group specific and reflect those same
keywords in the copy.
1. Focus on your most important benefits and your unique selling proposition.
Free shipping, same-day shipping, wide selection, excellent customer service, industry-leading
expertise in your field, discount prices, free information, hard-to-find items, awards you have
won, etc.
2. Decide what is most important to your customers and what differentiates you from your
competitors and highlight these benefits in your ad copy. If you are creative you may be able
to fit more than one benefit in your ad (one in the title and one in the description). Make sure the
benefits you highlight in your ad copy are also featured prominently on your landing page.
3. Present yourself as the answer to your customer’s problems. When a potential customer
types in a query they are looking for an answer to a problem. The solution could be a specific
service, product or piece of information. Think about the problems your prospects have, how you
can solve those problems, and then determine how you can present the best solution in 95
characters or less. Show the user that you are relevant to their problem by highlighting the
correct keywords, and solve their problem by conveying the benefits you have to offer.
4. Get the keyword in there at least once if possible. Different ad copy will pull customers at
different phases of the buying cycle so you MUST split test. If you are not already doing this
start now! Set your campaign to show ads evenly and create two ads for each ad group. Monitor
their performance and delete the ad that has a lower CTR. Then create a new ad and test it
against the last round's winner. Before you delete the bad ones, make sure you test the CTR at
splittester.com.
Never lose sight of the primary objective—to convert clicks into conversions, and you’ll be on
the right track to creating effective pay-per-click campaigns.
2. Use the strongest point first to hammer home the benefit and list the rest in
descending order of value.
3. Always listen to what readers have to say about your work and never take it
personally. After all, this is your market.
4. Be sure to verify all the facts and keep backup notations on sources and links.
Star-Chain-Hook
Frank Dignan built this formula which begins your copy with some “starring” message positive,
upbeat, bright, cheerful, and charming. Then build a link chain of supporting facts and benefits,
allowing a progression from interest to desire. The hook is the final step to hooking the
customers and persuading them to take action, make a purchase or contact the vendor in some
way.
If you want to get and keep your audience’s attention, then follow the PARTS formula as
outlined below. There is nothing worse than a speech or presentation that is disjointed,
disconnected and unmemorable. There has to be a theme. Then there must be points that connect
to that theme and help build a solid foundation.
P = Phrase
Always start with a theme phrase…a foundational phrase that sets the tone for the rest of the
speech. All points made during the speech will be tied in some manner with this theme phrase.
Keep that phrase short and direct, ten words or less.
A – Anchor
Anchors are illustrations, short stories of a sort that tie to the foundational phrase. Four anchors
you can use are:
1. Anecdote (a story)
2. Activity
3. Analogy
4. Acronym
The point is to have your audience remember the anchor because then they will not forget the
point that is attached to the foundational anchor. That means they won’t forget the anchor either.
R = Reflection
This is achieved by asking questions of the audience which, in turn, gets each person to think
back on what would be the answer, based on past experiences or suppositions. It may be a matter
of having the audience consider how much better life would be if they were using the product or
service in their own lives.
You can ask a question at the beginning of the section, such as “Why do you think you don’t
achieve millionaire status year after year in your business goals?” That gets the audience
thinking about why they don’t make that status. As you move along in your speech, you can ask
the question “Are you afraid of succeeding and therefore, you sabotage yourself?” After showing
examples of that point, you might conclude with asking the first question again of your audience.
The purpose of that is now they may be thinking a different way about why they were failing
their goal.
T = Technique
At this point, you will not only want your audience to think, but to also implement ways to
achieving that goal. You must give your audience the tools that help them visualize their goals
rather than just thinking about them. Have them outline in writing the perfect job, the perfect
day, the perfect husband or wife. This better defines the image and makes it more real for the
audience members.
S =Sale
Now you are selling the message, which was your goal from the very beginning. You can say,
“Now that you are writing down what makes the perfect job, you are into the first steps towards
making that your upcoming reality.” You can create and do what you envision.
Tip: Your brochure doesn’t have to cover everything. You can always decide to have other
pieces of sales literature that go into more depth on certain aspects of the product.
For instance, you can talk about satisfied users in case histories. You can expand on
specifications in a spec sheet. Some marketers use application briefs to focus on a specific
application or industry. Others develop separate sell sheets on each key feature, allowing more
in-depth technical discussion than is possible in a general product brochure.
If you are writing to engineers, are they well versed in this particular technology? Or do you
have to bring them up to speed? Just because someone is a chemical engineer does not mean they
know nearly as much about industrial knives, turbine blades, corrosion-resistant metals, ball
valves, or your particular specialty as you do. Indeed, they probably don’t.
When in doubt, it is better to explain so everyone understands than to assume that everyone
already understands. No engineer has ever complained to me that a brochure I wrote was too
clear.
Is the objective of the brochure to convince the prospect that your technical design is superior to
your competition? Or show that you have more features at a better price? Or demonstrate that
your system will pay back its cost in less than six months?
Establish a communication objective for the brochure and write with that goal in mind.
For instance, if the objective is to get a meeting for you to sell consulting services to the client,
you only need to include enough to convince them that the meeting is worth their time. Anything
more is probably overkill.
Include the two things every brochure should contain. These simply are (a) the things your
prospects need and want to know about your product to make their buying decision and (b) what
you think you should say to persuade them that your product is the best product choice—and
your company is the best vendor.
The things a prospect wants to know about an industrial product might include weight,
dimensions, power requirements, operating temperature, and whether it can perform certain
functions.
Things you might want to tell them include how the performance compares with competitive
systems in benchmark tests (if you were the winner, of course) or the fact that it was cited as
“Best Product” by an industry publication, or won an award from a trade association, or is the
most popular product in its category with an installed base of more than 10,000 units.
Be selective.
While ad agency copy is sometimes too light and tells the reader too little, engineer copy often
makes the opposite error, attempting to cram every last technical fact and feature into a four or
eight page brochure.
Keep in mind that your prospect is bombarded by more information than he can handle on a
daily basis. Everyone has too much to read, and not enough time to read it. According to a study
by the School of Information Management & Systems at UC Berkeley, each year the human race
produces about 1.5 exabytes of unique information in print, film, optical, and magnetic content
worldwide—roughly 250MB of new information for every man, woman, and child.
The first situation is that the prospect is not acutely aware of the problem he has that your
product can solve. Or he is aware of it but does not consider it a priority. In this situation, to get
your prospect’s attention, your brochure must dramatize the problem and its severity, and then
position your product as the solution.
Example: (Years ago) Mainframe computer operators did not realize that certain operations
accidentally overrode and erased files stored on magnetic tapes. A brochure for a utility that
prevented this operation from occurring began, “Did you know that your storage devices may be
accidentally wiping out important files even as you read this sentence?” It alerted them to the
problem in a dramatic way.
Once alerted to a problem they didn’t know existed, the readers were eager to find a solution,
which the utility handily provided. Sales were brisk.
The second situation is that the prospect is aware of the problem or need your product addresses,
but is not at all convinced that your type of product is the best solution.
Example: A chemical manufacturer warned wastewater treatment plants that their current
activated charcoal bed systems were too costly.
The plant managers believed that, but didn’t believe that the manufacturer’s alternative filter
technology was a viable solution. A paper reprinting lab test results plus the offer of a free trial
overcame the disbelief and got firms to use the new filter system.
The third situation is when the prospect knows what his problem is, believes your type of
product is the right solution, but needs to be convinced that your product is the best choice in the
category, and better than similar products offered by your competitors.
One way to demonstrate superiority is with a table comparing your product with the others on a
feature by feature basis. If you have a more complete feature set than they do, such a table makes
you look like the best choice.
Another technique is to give specifications that prove your performance is superior. If this cannot
be quantitatively measured, talk about any unique functionality, technology, or design feature
that might create an impression of superiority in the prospect’s mind.
There are many other copywriting techniques available to produce a superior technical product
brochure in any of these three situations; this is why I’ve devoted the past 20 years, my entire
professional life, to practicing and studying copywriting—just like an engineer practices and
studies his specialty.
But if you follow the basics in this article and do nothing else, I guarantee an improvement in
your brochures that you, your sales reps, and your customers will appreciate. You might even
some day receive that rare compliment: “You know, I actually read your brochure. It wasn’t
boring, and it told me what I needed to know!”
Be technically accurate.
Industrial marketers sell systems to solve specific problems. Copy must accurately describe what
the product can and cannot do.
Being accurate means being truthful. Industrial buyers are among the most sophisticated of
audiences. Technical know-how is their forte, and they'll be likely to spot any exaggerations,
omissions, or “white lies" you make.
Being accurate also means being specific. Writing that a piece of equipment "can handle your
toughest injection molding jobs" is vague and meaningless to a technician; but saying that the
machine "can handle pressures of up to 12,000 pounds" is honest, concrete, and useful.
One way to achieve specificity in your writing is to prefer concrete terms (right-hand column
below) to general terms (left-hand column).
General Concrete
bad weather rain and snow
heavy more than 15 tons
experimental gas chromatographs
apparatus a dozen
And, just as a stain on a sleeve can ruin the whole suit, a single technical inaccuracy can destroy
the credibility of the entire promotion. In Technical Writing: Structure, Standards, and Style
(McGraw-Hill), the authors point out that "Technical writing that contains technically inaccurate
statements reflects inadequate knowledge of the subject." All the persuasive writing skill in the
world won't motivate the industrial buyer if he feels that you don't know what you're talking
about.
Just think of the disaster that would result if a misplaced decimal in a sales letter offered a one
year magazine subscription at $169.50 ten times the actual price of $16.95. You can see why this
would stop sales cold.
Well, the same goes for industrial copy. Only, in technical promotions, a misplaced decimal or
other math mistake is less obvious to the copywriter, since the material is so highly technical.
You and I would suspect an error in a mailer that advertised a $169.50 magazine subscription.
But how many direct response writers could say, at a glance, whether the pore size in a reverse
osmosis filter should be 0.005 or 0.00005 or 0.0005 microns? (How many of us even know what
a micron is?) Yet, to the chemical engineer, the pore size of the filter may be as crucial as the
price of the magazine subscription. Get it wrong, and you've lost a sale.
All numbers in industrial promotional literature should be checked and double-checked by the
writer, by the agency, and by technical people on the client side.
Be concise.
Engineers and managers are busy people. They don't have the time to read all the papers that
cross their desks, so make your message brief and to the point.
Take a look at some industrial direct mail. Letters are seldom more than a page long, and you
almost never see a four page letter in industrial selling.
As Strunk and White point out in The Elements of Style, conciseness "requires not that the
writer...avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell." In other
words, cram your industrial promotions full of product information and strong sales arguments.
But avoid redundancies, run-on sentences, wordy phrases, and other poor stylistic habits that take
up space but add little to meaning or clarity. For example, don't write "water droplets condensed
from atmospheric vapor and sufficiently massive to fall to earth's surface" when you're talking
about rain.
Simplify.
The key to successful industrial copywriting is to explain complex concepts and products clearly
and directly. Avoid overly complicated narratives; write in plain, simple English. In the first
draft of catalog copy for a line of pollution control equipment, the product manager wrote:
“It is absolutely essential that the interior wall surface of the conduit be maintained in a wet
condition, and that means be provided for wetting continually the peripheral interior wall surface
during operation of the device, in order to avoid the accumulation of particulate matter about the
interior surface area.”
Here's how the copywriter simplified this bit of technical gobbledygook to make it more
readable:
One way to achieve simplicity in your industrial writing is to avoid the overuse of technical
jargon. Never write that a manufacturer's new dental splint "stabilizes mobile dentition" when its
function is to keep loose teeth in place. When you're deciding whether to use a particular
technical term, remember Susanne K. Langer's definition of jargon as "language more technical
than the ideas it serves to express." Never let your language make things more complex than they
already are.
Because the products are highly technical, you can't rely on your own feelings and intuition to
select the key selling points. The benefits of buying a kitchen appliance or joining a record club
are obvious, but how can a layman say what features of a multistage distillation system are
important to the buyer, and which are trivial?
By speaking with technical and marketing people on the client side, you can find out which
product features should be highlighted in the copy and why they appeal to the buyer. Then, apply
your usual skill in persuasive writing to turn these features into sales-oriented "reason-why-they-
should-buy" copy. The kind of copy that generates leads, goodwill, orders, and money.
Recently, I was given the assignment of writing a package on a water filtration system to be sold
to two different markets: the marine industry and the chemical industry. In the course of
conversation with a few customers in each field, I discovered that marine buyers were concerned
solely with quality and price, while chemical engineers considered "technical competence" the
number one selling feature. They wanted to know every detailed specification down to the last
pump, pipe, fan, and filter. Selling the product to the two markets would require two completely
different sales letters...but I'd never have known this if I hadn't asked.
their products, or answer inquiries. Know where your copy fits into the buying process so you
can write copy to generate the appropriate response.
Here's a description of a "Dry FGD System" (a large piece of industrial equipment) from a
promotion aimed at plant engineers:
“The average SO2, emission rate as determined in the outlet duct was 0.410 lb/106 BTU
(176 ng/J). All emission rates were determined with F-factors calculated from flue gas
analyses obtained with an Orsat analyzer during the course of each test run.”
This will satisfy the technically curious buyer who wants to know how you determined your
product specifications, not just what they are. But managers have little time or interest in the
nitty-gritty; they want to know how the product can save them money and help improve their
operations. A brochure on this same Dry FGD System aimed at management takes a lighter,
more sales-oriented tone:
“The Dry FCD System is a cost-effective alternative to conventional wet scrubbers for
cleaning flue gas in coal-fired boilers. Fly ash and chemical waste are removed as an
easily handled dry powder, not a wet sludge. And with dry systems, industrial and utility
boilers can operate cleanly and reliably.”
Direct response copywriters often work up a list of product features and the benefits that these
features offer the consumer. Then, the benefits are worked into the sales letter.
In industrial copywriting, we do the same thing, except we include the features in the copy.
Features and their benefits are often presented in "cause and effect" statements, such as:
“Because the system uses L-band frequency and improved MTI (moving target indication), it can
detect targets up to 50 times smaller than conventional S-band radars.
No mechanical systems or moving parts are required. Which means that Hydro-Clean consumes
less energy and takes less space than conventional pump driven clarifiers.
The geometric shape of the seal ring amplifies the force against the disc. As the pressure grows,
so does the valve's sealing performance.”
Use graphs, tables, charts, and diagrams to explain and summarize technical information quickly.
Put strong “sell copy" in your headlines, subheads, and body copy; relegate duller “catalog
information" to tables, sidebars, charts, and inserts. And don't hesitate to use visuals;
photographs add believability, and drawings help readers visualize complex products and
processes.
In mail order, a simple one-line testimonial from "GK in Portland" or "the Jack Reeds in Jersey
City" is all that's needed to demonstrate a product's success. But industrial buyers need to know
more, and the typical case history tells what the problem was, how the product solved it, and
what the results were in terms of money saved and improved plant performance.
In an ad for the Hitachi chiller-heater, a unit that cools and heats buildings, Gas Energy, Inc. uses
a series of tightly written one-paragraph case histories to show readers that the product works.
Here's a sample:
Miami Hospital (300,000 sq. ft.). Linking a gas turbine generator with one 450 ton
Hitachi Cogeneration unit produces all cooling and heating and saves $360,000 yearly vs.
purchased electricity and the previous electric centrifugal system.
The case history approach is one area where industrial and consumer writers agree. After all,
every direct response writer knows that the best advertising is a satisfied customer.
The “4 U’s” copywriting formula—which stands for urgent, unique, ultra-specific, and useful—
can help.
Originally developed by my colleague Michael Masterson for writing more powerful headlines,
the 4 U’s formula works especially well with e-mail subject lines. I’ll share it with you now.
Urgent
Urgency gives the reader a reason to act now instead of later. You can create a sense of urgency
in your subject line by incorporating a time element. For instance, “Make $100,000 working
from home this year” has a greater sense of urgency than “Make $100,000 working from home.”
A sense of urgency can also be created with a time-limited special offer, such as a discount or
premium if you order by a certain date.
Unique
The powerful subject line either says something new, or if it says something the reader has heard
before, says it in a new and fresh way. For example, “Why Japanese women have beautiful skin”
was the subject line in an e-mail promoting a Japanese bath kit. This is different than the typical
“Save 10% on Japanese Bath Kits.”
Ultra-specific
Boardroom is the absolute master of ultra-specific bullets, known as “fascinations,” that tease the
reader into reading further and ordering the product. Examples: “What never to eat on an
airplane,” “Bills it’s okay to pay late,” and “Best time to file for a tax refund.” They use such
fascinations in direct mail as envelope teasers and in e-mail as subject lines.
Useful
The strong subject line appeals to the reader’s self-interest by offering a benefit. In the subject
line “An Invitation to Ski & Save,” the benefit is saving money.
When you have written your subject line, ask yourself how strong it is in each of these 4 U’s.
Use a scale of 1 to 4 (1 = weak, 4 = strong) to rank it in each category.
Rarely will a subject line rate a 3 or 4 on all four U’s. But if your subject line doesn’t rate a 3 or
4 on at least three of the U’s, it’s probably not as strong as it could be—and can benefit from
some rewriting.
A common mistake is to defend a weak subject line by pointing to a good response. A better way
to think is as follows: If the e-mail generated a profitable response despite a weak subject line,
imagine how much more money you could have made by applying the 4 U’s.
A software marketer wrote to tell me he had sent out a successful e-mail marketing campaign
with the subject line “Free White Paper.” How does this stack up against the 4 U’s?
Urgent: There is no urgency or sense of timeliness. On a scale of 1 to 4, with 4 being the highest
rating, “Free White Paper” is a 1.
Unique: Not every software marketer offers a free white paper, but a lot of them do. So “Free
White Paper” rates only a 2 in terms of uniqueness.
Ultra-specific: Could the marketer have been less specific than “Free White Paper”? Yes, he
could have just said “free bonus gift.” So we rate “Free White Paper” a 2 instead of a 1.
Useful: I suppose the reader is smart enough to figure the white paper contains some helpful
information he can use. On the other hand, the usefulness is in the specific information contained
in the paper, which isn’t even hinted at in the headline. And does the recipient, who already has
too much to read, really need yet another “Free White Paper”? I rate it a 2. Specifying the topic
would help, e.g., “Free White Paper shows how to cut training costs up to 90% with e-learning.”
I urge you to go through this exercise with every e-mail subject line you write. You can also
apply the formula to other copy, both online and offline, including direct mail envelope teasers,
ad headlines, letter leads, Web page headlines, subheads, and bullets.
Rate the line you’ve written in all four U’s. Then rewrite it so you can upgrade your rating on at
least 2 and preferably 3 or 4 of the categories by at least 1. This simple exercise may increase
readership and response rates substantially for very little effort.
Virtually all persuasive copy contains the eight elements described in this article. The successful
ad:
1. Gains attention
2. Focuses on the customer
3. Stresses benefits
4. Differentiates you from the competition
5. Proves its case
6. Establishes credibility
7. Builds value
8. Closes with a call to action
All ads do not have all eight characteristics in equal proportions. Depending on the product,
some of these elements will be dominant in your ad; others subordinate.
Let’s take telephone service as an example. If you are AT&T, Verizon, or Sprint, you have a
long track record of success and a well-established reputation. Therefore, you will be naturally
strong in elements five and six (proving your case and establishing your credibility).
A new telephone services provider, on the other hand, does not have a track record or reputation;
therefore, these two elements will not be the dominant themes in the copy. Instead, the strongest
element might be number three (benefits the service offers customers) or perhaps number four
(differentiation in service resulting from superior technology).
Each product or service has natural strengths and weaknesses. The strengths are emphasized and
the weaknesses de-emphasized. But all eight elements must be present to some degree, or the ad
won’t work.
Here are the eight elements of persuasion discussed in a bit more detail, with examples of how to
achieve each in your copy.
If an ad fails to gain attention, it fails totally. Unless you gain the prospect’s attention, he or she
won’t read any of your copy. And if the prospect doesn’t read your copy, he or she won’t receive
the persuasive message you’ve so carefully crafted.
There are numerous ways to gain attention. Sex certainly is one of them. Look at the number of
products—abdominal exercises, health clubs, cars, Club Med, clothes, beer, soft drinks, chewing
gum—that feature attractive bodies in their ads and commercials. It may be sexist or base, but it
works.
Similarly, you can use visuals to get prospects to pay attention. Parents (and almost everyone
else) are attracted to pictures of babies and young children. Puppies and kittens also strike a
chord in our hearts. Appealing visuals can get your ad noticed.
Since so much advertising is vague and general, being specific in your copy sets it apart from
other ads and creates interest. A letter promoting collection services to dental practices begins as
follows:
“How we collected over $20 million in unpaid bills over the past 2 years for thousands of
dentists nationwide”
Dear Dentist:
It’s true.
In the past 2 years alone, IC Systems has collected more than $20 million in outstanding
debt for dental practices nationwide.
That’s $20 million these dentists might not otherwise have seen if they had not hired IC
Systems to collect their past-due bills for them.
What gains your attention is the specific figure of $20 million dollars. Every collection agency
promises to collect money. But saying that you have gotten $20 million in results is specific,
credible, and memorable.
Featuring an offer that is free, low in price, or unusually attractive is also an effective attention-
getter. A full-page newspaper ad from Guaranteed Term Life Insurance announces, “NOW... $1
a week buys Guaranteed Term Life Insurance for New Yorkers over 50.” Not only does the $1
offer draw you in, but the headline also gains attention by targeting a specific group of buyers
(New Yorkers over 50).
You know that in public speaking, you can gain attention by shouting or talking loudly. This
direct approach can work in copy, especially in retail advertising. An ad for Lord & Taylor
department store proclaims in large, bold type: STARTS TODAY... ADDITIONAL 40% OFF
WINTER FASHIONS.” Not clever or fancy, but of interest to shoppers looking to save money.
Another method of engaging the prospect’s attention is to ask a provocative question. Bits &
Pieces, a management magazine, begins its subscription mailing with this headline:
“What do Japanese managers have that American managers sometimes lack?” Don’t you
want to at least read the next sentence to find the answer?
A mailing for a book club has this headline on the outer envelope:
Why is the McGraw-Hill Chemical Engineers’ Book Club giving away—practically for
FREE—this special 50th Anniversary Edition of PERRY’S CHEMICAL ENGINEERS’
HANDBOOK?
To chemical engineers, who know that Perry’s costs about $125 per copy, the fact that someone
would give it away is indeed a curiosity—and engineers, being curious people, want to get the
answer.
Injecting news into copy, or announcing something that is new or improved, is also a proven
technique for getting attention. A mailing offering subscriptions to the newsletter Dr. Atkins’s
Health Revelations has this headline on the cover:
“Here Are Astonishing Nutritional Therapies and Alternative Treatments You’ll Never
Hear About From the Medical Establishment, the FDA, Drug Companies or Even Your
Doctor...”
3 decades of medical research breakthroughs from the Atkins Center for Complementary
Medicine... revealed at last!
The traditional Madison Avenue approach to copy—subtle word play and cleverness—often fails
to get attention because many people reading the ad either don’t get it, or if they do get it, they
don’t think it’s that funny (or they think it’s funny but that doesn’t compel them to read the ad or
buy the product).
A newspaper ad for a New Jersey hospital, promoting its facilities for treating kidney stones
without surgery (ultrasonic sound waves are used to painlessly break up and dissolve the stone),
carried this headline:
Clever? Yes. But as former kidney stone patients, we can tell you that having kidney stones is
not a fun, playful subject, and this headline misses the mark. The kidney stone sufferer wants to
know he can go to his local hospital, get fast treatment, avoid an operation and a hospital stay,
have the procedure be painless, and get rid of the kidney stones that are causing his current
discomfort.
while less clever, is more direct, and works better with this topic and this audience.
When writing copy, start with the prospect, not with the product. Your prospects are interested
primarily in themselves—their goals, their problems, their needs, their hopes, their fears, their
dreams and aspirations. Your product or service is of secondary importance, the degree of
concern being determined by the potential for the product or service to address one of the
prospect’s wants or needs, or solve one of their problems.
Effective copy speaks directly to a specific audience and identifies their preferences, quirks,
behavior, attitudes, needs, or requirements. A recruitment brochure for a computer consultant
firm, for example, has this headline on the cover:
Introducing a unique career opportunity only a few dozen computer professionals in the
country will be able to take advantage of this year...
The headline is effective because it focuses on the prospects (Information Systems professionals)
and one of their main concerns in life (their career), rather than the consulting firm and its
history, as most such brochures do.
Write from the customer’s point of view—e.g., not “our,” “Introducing our Guarda-Health
Employee Benefit Program” but “At last you can combat the huge health insurance premiums
threatening to put your small business out of business.”
WEKA Publishing, in a direct mail package promoting the Electronics Repair Manual, a do-it-
yourself guide for hobbyists and others who want to repair their own home and office
electronics, uses copy that speaks directly to the personality type of the potential buyer:
...then fun, excitement, the thrill of discovery, time and money saved, and the satisfaction
of a job well done await you when you preview our newly updated Electronics Repair
Manual at no risk for a full 30 days.
A good way to ensure that you are focusing on the prospects, and not yourself or your product or
your company, is to address the prospect directly in the copy as “you.”
For example:
You know how tough it is to make a decent profit margin in today’s world of managed
care...and how the HMOs and other plans are putting even more of a squeeze on your
margins to fill their own already-swelling coffers.
But what you may not be aware of is the techniques health care providers nationwide are
using to fight back...and get paid every dollar they deserve for the important work they do.
This direct mail copy, which successfully launched a new publication, works because it focuses
on the prospects and their problems (making money from their health care business), and not on
the publication, its editors, or its features or columns.
Copy that fails to focus on the prospect often does so because the copywriter does not understand
the prospect. If you are writing to metal shop managers, attend a metalworking trade show, read
a few issues of the trade publications they subscribe to, and interview some of these prospects in
person or over the phone. Study focus group transcripts, attend live focus group sessions, or even
accompany salespeople on sales calls to these prospects. The better you understand your target
audience, the more you have a feel for the way they think and what they think about, the more
effectively you can target copy that speaks to those concerns.
Although, depending on your audience, your prospects may be interested both in the features and
the benefits of your product or service, it is almost never sufficient to discuss features only.
Virtually all successful copy discusses benefits. Copy aimed at a lay audience would primarily
stress benefits, mentioning features mainly to convince the prospects that the product can in fact
deliver the benefits promised in the ad.
Copy aimed at specialists often gives equal play to features and benefits, or may even primarily
stress features. But whenever a feature is described, it must be linked to a customer benefit it
provides. Buyers not only want to know what the product is and what it does; they want to know
how it can help them achieve the benefits they want—such as saving money, saving time,
making money, being happier, looking better, or feeling fitter.
In copy for technical products, clearly explaining the feature makes the benefit more believable.
Don’t just say a product has greater capacity; explain what feature of the product allows it to
deliver this increased capacity. A brochure for Lucent Technologies wireless CDMA technology
explains,
“CDMA gives you up to 10 times the capacity of analog cellular with more efficient use
of spectrum. Use of a wideband block of radio frequency (RF) spectrum for transmission
(1.25 MHz) enables CDMA to support up to 60 or more simultaneous conversations on a
given frequency allocation.”
A brochure for a computer consulting firm tells corporate Information Systems (IS) managers
how working with outside consultants can be more cost-effective than hiring staff, thus saving
money:
When you augment your IS department with our staff consultants, you pay our staff
consultants only when they work for you. If the need ends tomorrow, so does the billing.
In addition, various studies estimate the cost of hiring a new staff member at 30 to 60
percent or more of the annual salary (an executive search firm’s fee alone can be 30
percent of the base pay). These expenditures are 100% eliminated when you staff through
EJR.
In an ad for a software package that creates letterhead using a PC and a laser printer, the copy
stresses the benefits of ease, convenience, and cost savings vs. having to order stationery from a
printer:
Now save thousands of dollars on stationery printing costs.
Every day, law firms struggle with the expense and inconvenience of engraved and
preprinted stationery.
Now, in a sweeping trend to cut costs without sacrificing prestige, many are trading in
their engraved letterhead for Instant Stationery desktop software from Design Forward
Technologies.
With Instant Stationery, you can laser-print your WordPerfect documents and letterhead
together on whatever grade of blank bond paper you choose.
Envelopes, too. Which means you never have to suffer the cost of expensive preprinted
letterhead—or the inconvenience of loading stationery into your desktop printer—ever
again.
Today your customer has more products and services to choose from than ever. For example, a
customer walking into a supermarket can choose from more than XX different brands of cereal,
XX different brands of shampoo, and XX different flavors and brands of soft drink.
Therefore, to make our product stand out in the buyer’s mind, and convince him or her that it is
better and different than the competition, you must differentiate it from those other products in
your copy. Crispix cereal, for example, was advertised as the cereal that “stays crisp in milk.”
Post Raisin Bran was advertised as the only raisin bran having “two scoops of raisins” in each
box of cereal. A cookie maker recently ran a campaign promoting “100 chips” in every bag of
chocolate chip cookies.
Companies that make a commodity product often differentiate themselves on the basis of service,
expertise, or some other intangible. BOC Gases, for example, promotes itself as a superior
vendor not because their product is better (they sell oxygen, and one oxygen molecule is
basically the same as another), but in their ability to use oxygen and technology to benefit the
customer’s business. Here is copy from a brochure aimed at steel makers:
An oxygen supplier who knows oxygen and EAF steel-making can be the strategic
partner who gives you a sustainable competitive advantage in today’s metals markets.
And that’s where BOC Gases can help.
If your product is unique within its market niche, stress this in your copy. For example, there are
dozens of stock market newsletters. But IPO Insider claims to be the only IPO bulletin aimed at
the consumer (there are other IPO information services, but these target professional investors
and money managers). In their subscription promotion the IPO Insider says:
IPO Insider is the only independent research and analysis service in the country designed
to help the individual investor generate greater-than-average stock market profits in select
recommended IPOs.
Lucent Technologies, the AT&T spin-off, competes with many other companies that
manufacture telecommunications network equipment. They differentiate themselves by stressing
the tested reliability of their switch, which has been documented as superior to other switches in
the industry. One brochure explains:
The 5ESS-2000 Switch is one of the most reliable digital switches available for wireless
systems today. According to the U.S. Federal Communication Commission’s (FCC)
ARMIS report, the 5ESS-2000 switch has the least down-time of any switch used in U.S.
networks, exceeding Bellcore’s reliability standards by 200%. With an installed base of
more than 2,300 switches, the 5ESS-2000 Switch currently serves over 72 million lines in
49 countries.
ICS convinces dentists it is qualified to handle their collections by presenting facts and statistics
as follows:
IC Systems can collect more of the money your patients owe you. Our overall recovery
rate for dental collections is 12.4% higher than the American Collectors’ Association
national average of 33.63%. (For many dental practices, we have achieved recovery rates
even higher!)
BOC Gases tells customers that the gas mixtures they sell in cylinders are accurately blended,
and therefore that the composition listed on the label is what the buyer will find inside the
container. They make this argument credible by explaining their blending and weighing
methodology:
Many stock market newsletters promise big winners that will make the reader rich if he or she
subscribes. Since everyone says it, the statement is usually greeted with skepticism. The
newsletter Gold Stocks Advisory combats this skepticism by putting their recent successes right
on the outer envelope and at the top of page one of their sales letter:
The most powerful tool for proving your case is to demonstrate a good track record in your field,
showing that your product or service is successful in delivering the benefits and other results you
promise. One way to create the perception of a favorable track record is to include case histories
and success stories in your copy.
Testimonials from satisfied customers are another technique for convincing prospects that you
can do what you say you can do. You can also impress prospects by showing them a full or
partial list of your customers.
Share with readers any results your firm has achieved for an individual customer or group of
customers. IC Systems, for example, impressed dentists by telling them that the company has
collected $20 million in past due bills over the past two years alone—a number which creates the
perception of a service that works.
In addition to the benefits you offer, the products and services you deliver that offer these
benefits, and the results you have achieved, prospective buyers will ask the question, “Who are
you?”
In terms of persuasion, of the three major topics you discuss in your ad—the prospect, the
product, and the product vendor—the “corporate” story is usually the least important. The
prospect is primarily interested in himself and his problems and needs, and interested in your
product or service only as a means of solving those problems or filling those needs. The prospect
is interested in your company only as it relates to your ability to reliably make, deliver, install,
and service the product he buys from you.
Yet, the source of the product or service—the company—still is a factor in influencing purchase
decisions. In the early days of personal computing, IBM was the preferred brand—not because
IBM necessarily made a superior computer at a better price, but because if something went
wrong, IBM could be counted on for fast, reliable, effective service and support. As PCs became
more of a commodity and local computer resellers and stores offered better service, the service
and support reputation of IBM became less of an advantage, and their PC sales declined.
Here are some examples of copy in which the vendor gives credentials designed to make the
consumer feel more comfortable in doing business with them and choosing them over other
suppliers advertising similar products and services:
We guarantee the best technical service and support. I was a compressor service
technician at Ingersoll Rand, and in the last 20 years have personally serviced more than
250 compressors at over 80 companies.
For nearly 100 years, BOC Gases has provided innovative gas technology solutions to
meet process and production needs. We have supplied more than 20,000 different gases
and gas mixtures—in purities up to 99.99999 percent—to 2 million customers
worldwide.
Lion Technology is different. For nearly two decades, we have dedicated ourselves 100%
to training managers, engineers, and others in environmental compliance-related subjects.
Since 1989, our firm has conducted more than 1,400 workshops nationwide on these
topics.
You’ll find some of Paul’s fundamental research in precious metals summed up in his more than
60 best-selling books including Silver Bulls and Trading with Gold. Paul’s unique blending of
solid research, combined with an unprecedented record of success in picking gold stocks, may
have been what moved one New York Times reporter to dub him “the dean of commodities
researchers.”
Credentials you can list in your copy include year founded, number of years in business, number
of employees, annual revenues, number of locations, number of units sold, patents and product
innovations, awards, commendations, publications, membership and participation in professional
societies, seals of approval, agency ratings, independent survey results, media coverage, number
of customers, and in-house resources (financial, technological, and human).
It’s not enough to convince prospects you have a great product or a superior service. You must
also show them that the value of your offer far exceeds the price you are asking for it. You may
have the best widget in the $100 to $200 price range of medium-size widgets, but why should the
prospect pay $200 for your widget when they can get another brand for half the price? One
argument might be lower total cost of ownership. Although your widget costs more to buy, its
greater reliability and performance save and make your firm money that, over the long run, far
exceeds the difference in price between you and brand X.
Stress cost of ownership vs. cost of purchase. The purchase price is not the only cost of owning
something. There is the cost of maintenance, support, repair, refurbishment, operation, and, when
something wears out, replacement. Therefore the product that costs the least to buy may not
actually cost the least to own; oftentimes, it is the most expensive to own!
Example: Several companies are now selling artificial bone substitutes for orthopedic surgeons
to use in bone graft operations. As of this writing, a small container of the artificial bone
substitute, containing enough material for one spine surgery, can cost $500 to $800.
The short-sighted buyer sees this as expensive, especially since bone graft can be taken from
other sites in the patient’s own body, and there is no cost for this material.
But is there really no cost? Collecting bone graft from the patient’s own body adds about an hour
to the surgical procedure. With operating room time at about $1,000 an hour, it makes sense to
pay $750 for bone material and eliminate this extra hour in the OR.
That’s not all. Often removing the bone from a donor site causes problems that can result in an
extra day’s stay in the hospital. That’s another $1,000 down the tubes. And the removal of bone
from the donor site can cause infection, which must be treated with costly antibiotics.
Also, the removal process can cause pain; how do you measure the cost of the patient’s added
suffering? So while $750 for a small vial of artificial bone may seem initially expensive, it is in
fact a bargain when compared with the alternative (which, on the surface, appears to have zero
cost).
Here’s a simpler example. You need to buy a photocopier for your home office. Copier A costs
$900. Copier B costs $1,200. The features are essentially the same, and the reputations of the
brands are comparable. Both have an expected lifetime of 120,000 copies. Most people would
say, “Everything’s the same except price, so buy copier A and save $300.” Copier A compares
itself feature for feature with Copier B, and runs an ad with the headline, “Copier A vs. Our
Competition... We Can Do Everything They Can Do... at 25% Off the Price.”
But you are the copywriter for the makers of Copier B. You ask them what it costs to make a
copy. Their cost per copy is 2 cents. You investigate Copier A, and find out that the toner
cartridges are more expensive, so that the cost per copy is 4 cents. You can now advertise copies
at “half the cost of our competitor.”
What’s more, a simple calculation shows that if Copier B is 2 cents a copy cheaper, and you use
the machine to make 120,000 copies, your savings over the life of the machine is $2,400.
Therefore, an investment in Copier B pays you pack eight times the extra $300 it cost to buy.
This is additional ammunition you can use in your copier to establish that purchase price is not
the ultimate factor determining buying decisions, and that Copier B offers a greater overall value
to the buyer.
If your product costs slightly more up front but actually saves money in the long run, stress this
in your sales talk. Everyone knows that the cheapest product is not automatically the best buy;
corporate buyers are becoming especially concerned with this cost of ownership concept. Only
government business, which is awarded based on sealed proposals and bids, seems to still focus
solely on the lowest price. And even that is slowly changing.
The key to establishing value is to convince the prospects that the price you ask is “a drop in the
bucket” compared with the money your product will make or save them, or the other benefits it
delivers. Some examples:
What would you do if the EPA assessed a $685,000 fine against your company for
noncompliance with environmental regulations you weren’t even aware existed?
Another way to establish value is to compare the cost of your product with more expensive
products or services that address the same basic need:
The cost of The Novell Companion, including the 800+ page reference binder and
NetWare utilities on diskette, is normally $89 plus $6.50 for shipping and handling. This
is less than a NetWare consultant would charge to advise you for just one hour... yet The
Novell Companion is there to help you administer and manage your network, year after
year.
If your product or service is used over a period of time, as most are, you can reduce the “sticker
shock” that comes with quoting a high up-front price by showing the cost over the extended
usage period. For instance, a life insurance policy with an annual premium of $200 “gives your
loved ones protection for just 55 cents a day.” The latter seems more affordable, although the
two prices are equivalent.
Copy is written to bring about a change—that is, to cause prospects to change their opinion,
attitude, beliefs, purchasing plans, brand preferences, or immediate buying actions.
To effect this change, your copy must be specific about the action the prospect should take if
they are interested in what you’ve said and what to take advantage of your offer or at least find
out more. Tell them to clip and mail the coupon, call the toll-free phone number, visit your
Website, come to your store, request a free estimate, or whatever. Specify the next step directly
in your copy, or else few people will take it.
Some examples:
When you call, be sure to ask how you can get a FREE copy of our new audio cassette,
“How to Get Better Results From Your Collection Efforts.” In just 7 minutes listening
time, you’ll discover at least half a dozen of the techniques IC Systems uses—and you
can use, too—to get more people to pay what they owe you.
Other Internet marketers, when writing landing page copy, focus not only on conversion, but also
on search engine optimization: keyword selection and meta tag creation that can increase traffic
by raising the site’s search engine rankings.
But in addition to conversions and unique visits, savvy Internet marketers are also concerned
with a third performance metric: e-mail address capture.
If you have a two percent conversion rate, then for every 100 visitors to the landing page, only
two buy—and of course, during these transactions, you capture the e-mail addresses of those
buyers.
What happens to the other 98 visitors—those who do not buy? You will not be able to add their
e-mail address to your list unless you incorporate a deliberate methodology into your landing
page to capture it.
Here are five different methodologies for capturing the e-mail addresses of landing page visitors
who do not purchase. Every landing page you operate should use at least one of these methods:
The e-zine sign-up box placed prominently on the first screen is a widely used method of e-mail
capture for Websites. But it is less commonly used for micro-sites and landing pages.
The reason is that, if your headline and lead properly engage the reader’s attention, he won’t
bother to sign up for the e-newsletter—instead, he’ll start reading.
Then, if he loses interest or reaches the end but does not order, and instead clicks away, you
haven’t captured his e-mail address.
2. Squeeze pages
Also known as preview pages, these are short landing pages that require the visitor to register—
by giving his name and e-mail address—before he is allowed to go on and read the long-copy
landing page. To see a squeeze page at work, visit: www.squeezepagegenerator.com.
In some cases, the long-copy landing page itself is positioned as a “report” which the visitor can
read only if he submits his name and e-mail address first. For this to work, your landing page
should be written in an informative, educational style.
Many squeeze pages offer a content premium, such as a free report, just for submitting your e-
mail address. Those seeking to capture snail mail as well as e-mail addresses make the premium
a physical object that must be shipped, such as a free CD.
Squeeze pages work well when your primary source of traffic is organic and paid search.
Reason: search visitors clicking to your site are only mildly qualified, because they are making a
decision to visit based on only a few words in a search engine description or paid Google ad.
Therefore, they may not be inclined to read long copy from a source they are not familiar with. A
squeeze page lets them absorb the gist of your proposition in a few concise paragraphs. The main
advantage of the squeeze page is that it ensures capture of an e-mail address from every visitor
who reads the full landing page. In addition, these prospects have been pre-qualified, in terms of
their interest in the subject, and so are more likely to stick with long copy.
The drawback of the e-mail capture sidebar is that the prospect sees it before he gets too far in
the sales letter, and therefore before you’ve sold him and ask for the order.
Therefore, the risk is that if your product teaches, say, how to speak French, and the e-mail
capture sidebar offers free French lessons, the visitor will just take the free offer and feel no need
to spend money on the paid offer.
4. Pop-under
When you attempt to click away from the landing page without making a purchase, a window
appears that says something like, “Wait! Don’t leave yet!”—and makes a free offer. To see how
this works, go to one of my sites, www.becomeaninstantguru.com.
The big advantage of the pop-under is that the visitor sees it only after he has read to the point
where he is leaving without ordering. Therefore, the free content offer doesn’t compete with or
distract visitors from the paid product offer.
The disadvantage is that about half of Internet users run pop-up blockers on their PCs, and these
blockers will prevent your pop-under from showing.
5. Floaters
A floater looks and functions much like a pop-up window, but it’s actually part of the landing
page’s HTML code, and therefore, won’t be blocked by a pop-up blocker. You can see a floater
at bhg.com.
The floater blocks a portion of the landing page when you click onto the site. You can enter your
e-mail or click it away without doing so. Either action removes the floater and allows you to see
the complete landing page.
As you can see, all of these e-mail capture methods offer some sort of free content—typically a
downloadable PDF report, e-course delivered via auto-responder, or e-zine subscription—in
exchange for your e-mail address.
Why bother to maximize capture of visitor e-mail addresses on your landing pages and other
Websites?
There are two primary benefits. First, by sending an online conversion series—a sequence of e-
mails delivered by auto-responder—to these visitors, you have another opportunity to convince
them to buy and increase your overall conversion rate.
Second, the best names for your e-mail marketing efforts, far better than rented opt-in lists, are in
your house e-list. So the faster you can build a large e-list, the more profitable your Internet
marketing ventures will become.
How much more profitable? Internet marketing expert Fred Gleeck estimates that, for
information product marketers, each name on your e-list is worth between ten cents and a dollar
or more per name per month.
Therefore, a 50,000-name e-list could generate annual online revenues of $600,000 a year or
higher. In other businesses, the sales could be significantly higher. Hewlett-Packard has 4.5
million e-zine subscribers, from whom they generate $60 million in monthly sales.
When the Internet sprung into life, we said, “Direct mail works offline to sell subscriptions,
services and products; why not online, too?”
So we rented e-mail lists and sent them e-mails asking them to subscribe.
It bombed.
But instead of giving up, we went back to the drawing board, asking, “If traditional acquisition
direct response does not work online, let’s find something that does!”
And that something is online conversion. Both traditional and online publishers are testing it, and
many are enjoying promising results.
The content does not have to be long. Re-purposing existing articles works fine for this purpose.
So do special reports specifically written for the online conversion campaign. Or the same
reports you offer as premiums in postal direct marketing.
The e-mail offers the content as a “free special report.” To get the free report, the recipient clicks
on an embedded URL in the message text.
If the content is a downloadable PDF file, the recipient is brought to a short transaction page. He
enters his e-mail address, and is then allowed to download and print the PDF file.
If the content is a series of sequential HTML pages, the recipient is again brought to a short
transaction page. He enters his e-mail address, clicks SUBMIT, and is brought to the first page of
the micro site where the report is available to read as a posted HTML document. (Within the
HTML report, put a number of links to a landing page or transaction page for your paid
subscription product. Many readers may click on these links and order your paid product while
they are in the middle of reading your free bonus report online.)
Either way, the reader must give us his e-mail address to read the free report, which is the key to
the online conversion method.
There are other methods you can use to generate leads for your online conversion campaign.
Some publishers have had great success with postcards. Others have used banners or online ads
in e-zines.
And second, we know that the prospect is interested in the topic of our content, because he at
least requested a free article or report on it.
Since the content was free, we do not know at this point whether he will pay for more content on
this topic. But he is a qualified lead in the sense that he is (a) interested in the topic and (b)
responds to online marketing.
The next step is to send him a series of e-mails, known as the online conversion series, with the
objective of converting him from a requester of free content to a subscriber or buyer of our paid
content.
Some marketers like every e-mail in the series to attempt to make a sale. That is, they all have a
URL the reader can click to reach a page from which the product may be ordered.
Others like the first two e-mails to be simply goodwill, promoting the value of the information
and encouraging the reader to actually read the free content—and in some cases, even giving him
more free content. These are called “free touch” e-mails, because they touch the reader without
asking him to purchase.
Subsequent e-mails in the series ask for the order; these are called “conversion e-mails.” In a six-
effort series, the first one or two e-mails might be free touch; the remainder, conversion e-mails.
A transaction page has minimal description of the product. It is basically an online order form.
Some marketers always send the e-mail recipient who clicks on the link in the e-mail to the
landing page, on the theory that the more sales copy there is, the more sales that will be made.
Other marketers believe that if the conversion e-mail is long and has a lot of sales copy, there is
no need to repeat this in a landing page; and so they just send the prospect to a short transaction
page.
By comparison, if you charge their credit card as soon as they submit their order, it is not really a
free 30-day trial; it is a risk-free 30-day trial. They are paying, but if they cancel within 30 days,
they get a refund.
Day 1 – e-mail #1, free touch. Thank the prospect for requesting your free content and
reinforce its value.
Day 2 – e-mail #2, free touch. Encourage the prospect to read the free content and
highlight its value. Point out some especially good ideas, tips, or strategies it contains.
Day 4 – e-mail #3, online conversion. Tell the prospect he can get more of the same
content by accepting a free 30-day trial to your publication. Sell him on the publication
and its value.
Day 7 – e-mail #4. Remind the prospect that he can still become an expert on the topic by
getting your publication and accepting your free trial offer.
Day 14 – e-mail #5. Tell the prospect the free 30-day trial is expiring, resell him on the
content you are offering, and urge him to act today. Tell him after that, it’s too late.
One key difference: In your lead, always acknowledge that they are hearing from you as a
follow-up to the free report or article they asked you to send them. This has two benefits.
First, they may feel slightly more obligated to read your message; after all, you did give them a
gift. And second, if they liked the free content, it automatically puts them in a receptive mood for
more of the same—even if they have to pay for it.
Should you try online conversion?
Every publisher who wants to market information products on the Internet should try an online
conversion series.
Just renting an e-list of opt-in names and asking them to subscribe won’t work; people who are
online tend not to buy from strangers.
But send those same names an offer of a free article or report, and they will take you up on it.
After all, what’s to lose?
If you have targeted the right audience for your publication, and the free content you give is of
high quality and value, then enough of the readers will want more of the same that they will be
willing to accept a free 30-day trial of a paid subscription product on the same topic.
And if your paid subscription product is of high quality and value, a large percentage of the
readers will not cancel, and you will have successfully converted free content requesters to paid
buyers—your goal in online conversion.
1. I gather as much information as I can about the product and the market. This process is
outlined in my article How to Prepare for a Copywriting Assignment.
2. I spend a lot of time studying the information. I key my notes into my PC. This reduces
the mountain of source material into a more manageable print-out of between 2 and 20 or
so single-spaced typed pages.
3. For long-copy assignments, I cut up the typed notes and paste each bit of information on
an index card. I write a descriptive topic title at the top of the card. I then arrange the
cards so the information is roughly in the order in which it will appear in the copy. This
order usually comes to me as I study the material.
4. I write a copy platform describing the promotion I intend to write, including the
assumptions made about the audience and the theme or slant of the package. Sometimes
this platform is a brief, informal memo. But when I feel the client and I would benefit
from greater detail, I do a more formal copy platform.
5. Often a platform will contain several different copy approaches and headlines. I
recommend wherever possible split-testing of the best two or three, rather than betting the
entire promotion on a single approach. But whether to do so is completely up to the
client.
6. Once the platform is approved, I write the copy. I go through many drafts before showing
it to the client. Before the copy is e-mailed to the client, it is read by a professional
proofreader (usually my office manager).
7. The client provides comments in any manner and format he or she prefers; however, I
think the best method of reviewing copy is to read it as an electronic file and make your
comments directly on the file, using Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” feature. Doing
so makes it much easier for you to comment at length than writing in the limited space
available on a hard copy with a pen. I highly recommend to clients that they use this
online method of copy review.
8. I revise the copy until the client is satisfied and accepts it.
9. Although I do not require it, most clients e-mail me a PDF or fax me the promotion in
layout form. This allows me to check that all components are in the right place, and that
the design is as effective as it can be. I also give the layout to my proofreader for a final
proofing on our end. However, the client is responsible for final checking of all copy,
design and production elements.
10. We give our corrections and comments to the client. The package is then printed and
mailed.
11. I appreciate it when the client keeps me posted on the results. If I am getting a royalty on
the roll-out, I will often suggest test ideas or improvements to the client at no cost, so as
to maximize response (and of course maintain our copy as the control).
Therefore, the best copywriters for landing pages are not necessarily the young and Web savvy
kid; they are the grizzled direct response veterans who possess the ability to write long-copy
sales letters that sell.
However, it’s not enough just to be a great sales letter writer. There are differences between print
sales letters and landing pages, and without this knowledge, a landing page crafted by a
traditional DM copywriter without Web knowledge may bomb.
Specifically, here are 10 keys to writing landing pages that maximize online conversion rates,
some of which apply equally online and offline, but many of which are strictly conventions for
the Web:
Here’s a four-step procedure I use to get the information I need to write persuasive, fact-filled
copy for my clients. This technique should be helpful to copywriters, account executives, and ad
managers alike.
Did I hear someone say they can’t send me printed material because their product is new?
Nonsense. The birth of every new product is accompanied by mounds of paperwork you can give
the copywriter. These papers include:
Internal memos
Letters of technical information
Product specifications
Engineering drawings
Business and marketing plans
Reports
Proposals
By studying this material, the copywriter should have 80 percent of the information he needs to
write the copy. And he can get the other 20 percent by picking up the phone and asking
questions. Steps #2-4 outline the questions he should ask about the product, the audience, and the
objective of the copy.
Who has bought the product and what do they say about it?
What materials, sizes and models is it available in?
How quickly does the manufacturer deliver the product?
What service and support does the manufacturer offer?
Is the product guaranteed?
Before you write copy, study the product—its features, benefits, past performance, applications,
and markets. Digging for the facts will pay off, because in business-to-business advertising,
specifics sell.
1. Credibility
2. Benefit or Promise
3. Idea
4. Track Record
Credibility is crucial to giving your reader a good reason to buy the product or service. This
means proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the benefits will do what your copy says it will
do. Provide testimonials, results of scientific tests, and, where possible, provide well-known
names of people and institutions that have provided the testimonials and tests.
Benefit or Promise is where you get behind what that benefit actually promises to do for the
customer. It is where you offer what that customer is really after—the psychological benefit. So
if you are saying that this new car is streamlined in design and gas conservative, what you are
really hitting on is how smart the customer is compared to his neighbors in buying such a good
looking, economical car. If he buys in the next 24 hours and gets a $1,000 price reduction, then
he can puff himself up by showing how he found a bargain and got more for his dollar than any
of the other neighbors.
Idea refers to how benefits and credibility are presented and it causes the reader to become more
excited as he sees a way to solve a problem he’s had for a long time. The reader is informed that
maybe the way he has been eating for years—too many carbohydrates—has caused him to gain
weight. If he follows a strict protein diet, he will lose the weight safely and easily, and still be
able to eat foods he likes, as much as he likes. So, instead of painfully starving himself to lose
the weight, he can now eat different, healthy and tasty foods…and lose weight doing it.
Track Record is the final leg needed to create a perfectly balanced copywriting stool. Here is
where statistics, test records, testimonials, anything with a verified line of proof, is presented to
the customer to convince him it works and will work for him too. It is one thing for a salesperson
to say to a customer that it is the best product on the market. To show independent proof from
another source that has no claim or connection of gain with that product, or service, goes a long
ways towards authenticating the truth of the benefits.
The Promise shows the reader that a certain action is inevitable for the future unless something
changes. It hits on the emotions of fear and anxiety by showing how the government, for instance,
is spending way too much money from the budget and that now we are in severe debt. What that
means is that, unless something changes soon, retirement funds will be exhausted and no one will
be able to retire anymore. It is the image of working up to death just to make ends meet.
Here are some good words that will appeal to a number of emotional triggers.
Beliefs, Feelings, Desires, Unique, Useful, Ultra-Specific, Urgent, Emotional, Personal,
Intellectual, Fear, Anger, Greed, Salvation, Flattery, Exclusivity, Guilt, Get, Get rid of, Relieve,
Avoid, Protect, Prevent. Use any of those in a headline as a promise of the future, and you will
immediately have your readers’ attention.
Next is the Picture drawn in words for the customer to envision how his life might look in the
future depending on which action he will take. It is a visual imagery of the future using many
adjectives. Another way to draw the picture is to use words that are verifications of facts and
figures giving truth to a product’s benefits and features.
Proof is also provided through test results and testimonials and convinces the readers to accept
and purchase the product or service. It eases the minds of the readers into thinking that they are
making the right choice when purchasing this product or service.
Finally, Push is where you make the close and ask for the sale. You can summarize all that went
before, ask for the sale, and even throw in a few more benefits of buying now to clinch the deal.
>> Essential – delivers information that your prospects really need to succeed at work or in life.
>> Strategic – content marketing should be an integral part of your overall business strategy.
Source: Junta42 white paper, “How to Attract and Retain Customers with Content Now.”
This is all part of good marketing and research to find out all the information you need to get the
message across to the customer. Knowing everything about the business you are in is essential to
your marketing focus. Once you have done all the research required to answer the steps above,
then you will be able to write your copy to directly target the consumer. Not only that, you will
also be targeting the right consumer, one who is already primed to purchase the product or
service.
The “4 U’s” copywriting formula -- which stands for urgent, unique, ultra-specific, and useful --
can help.
Originally developed by my colleague Michael Masterson for writing more powerful headlines,
the 4 U’s formula works especially well with e-mail subject lines. I’ll share it with you now.
Urgent. Urgency gives the reader a reason to act now instead of later. You can create a sense
of urgency in your subject line by incorporating a time element. For instance, “Make
$100,000 working from home this year” has a greater sense of urgency than “Make
$100,000 working from home.” A sense of urgency can also be created with a time-limited
special offer, such as a discount or premium if you order by a certain date.
Unique. The powerful subject line either says something new, or if it says something the
reader has heard before, says it in a new and fresh way. For example, “Why Japanese
women have beautiful skin” was the subject line in an e-mail promoting a Japanese bath kit.
This is different than the typical “Save 10% on Japanese Bath Kits.”
Ultra-specific. Boardroom is the absolute master of ultra-specific bullets, known as
“fascinations,” that tease the reader into reading further and ordering the product. Examples:
“What never to eat on an airplane,” “Bill’s it’s okay to pay late,” and “Best time to file for a
tax refund.” They use such fascinations in direct mail as envelope teasers and in e-mail as
subject lines.
Useful. The strong subject line appeals to the reader’s self-interest by offering a benefit. In
the subject line “An Invitation to Ski & Save,” the benefit is saving money.
When you have written your subject line, ask yourself how strong it is in each of these 4 U’s.
Use a scale of 1 to 4 (1 = weak, 4 = strong) to rank it in each category.
Rarely will a subject line rate a 3 or 4 on all four U’s. But if your subject line doesn’t rate a 3 or
4 on at least three of the U’s, it’s probably not as strong as it could be -- and can benefit from
some rewriting.
A common mistake is to defend a weak subject line by pointing to a good response. A better way
to think is as follows: If the e-mail generated a profitable response despite a weak subject line,
imagine how much more money you could have made by applying the 4 U’s.
A software marketer wrote to tell me he had sent out a successful e-mail marketing campaign
with the subject line “Free White Paper.” How does this stack up against the 4 U’s?
I urge you to go through this exercise with every e-mail subject line you write. You can also
apply the formula to other copy, both online and offline, including direct mail envelope teasers,
ad headlines, letter leads, Web page headlines, subheads, and bullets.
Rate the line you’ve written in all four U’s. Then rewrite it so you can upgrade your rating on at
least 2 and preferably 3 or 4 of the categories by at least 1. This simple exercise may increase
readership and response rates substantially for very little effort.
Five words will keep your creative efforts focused on the results you want without spinning your
wheels in frantic efforts that get you nowhere. These five words will remind you of the Truths
that will keep you from wasting your or the company’s money and will lead you to the promised
land of Direct Response selling success.
BENEFIT. To whom are you selling what ultimate benefit that will improve someone’s
life (consumer) or business (B2B)? Answer this and you’ll have a sharper picture of your
audience, lists and just what it is you’re really selling—that ultimate benefit.
SEDUCTION. You have to seduce the reader (print or electronic) into doing what you want
him/her to do by using “rationalization ammunition”—the benefits that are sprinkled throughout
your story. Without benefits that answer “What’s in it for me?” people just won’t buy.
VERISIMILITUDE. This is the appearance of truth. Your story must be truthful; it must be
believable. If it isn’t believable, you’ll never convince people to buy what you’re selling.
Remember, if there’s any doubt, they’ll throw you out.
WHY? Why do people buy anything? They buy for either of two reasons: to protect what they
have or to get something new. Picking the right reason determines the appropriate choice of
words and sales pitches. “Protect the investment in your home with….” “Be the first one to own
and enjoy this revolutionary new….”
WHEN. People, including you, will only buy when the perceived value outweighs the value of
the money saved by not buying. Not when they want, not what they need, not when they can
afford, but when the perceived value outweighs the value of the money saved.
By focusing your efforts on building the benefits story with the first four Eternal Truths, you’ll
have a better chance at creating the “When” moment of perceived value that moves the reader to
action.
Lewis R. Elin/ consulting 400 E. Randolph Dr., Ste 1713 Chicago IL 60601
P: 312.527.2017 F: 312.527.4042 E: LREconsult@aol.com
He is the author of more than 70 books including Selling Your Services (Henry Holt; over 50,000
sold) and The Elements of Business Writing (Alyn & Bacon; over 100,000 copies sold). Bob’s
articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Writer’s Digest, Successful Meetings, Amtrak Express,
Direct, and many other publications.
Bob writes monthly columns for Early to Rise (circulation 400,000) and DM News (circulation
50,000). The Direct Response Letter, Bob’s monthly e-newsletter, has 50,000 subscribers who,
as a group, spend approximately $5,000 a week buying Bob’s books, tapes, and other
information products.
Awards include a Gold Echo from the Direct Marketing Association, an IMMY from the
Information Industry Association, two Southstar Awards, an American Corporate Identity Award
of Excellence, the Standard of Excellence award from the Web Marketing Association, and
Copywriter of the Year from AWAI.
Bob is a member of the Specialized Information Publishers Association (SIPA) and the
American Society for Training and Development (ASTD). He can be reached at:
Bob Bly
590 Delcina Drive
River Vale, NJ 07675
Phone 201-505-9451
E-mail: rwbly@bly.com
Web: www.bly.com