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Pamamanhikan Now

Pamamanhikan is a traditional Filipino marriage custom where a man formally asks the parents of his prospective bride for her hand in marriage. It demonstrates respect for the family and ensures the marriage is blessed. The ritual involves the groom's family visiting the bride's family to discuss marriage plans and seek their approval. While courting the woman, the man may also perform household chores to prove his responsibility. Though modernizing, pamamanhikan continues to celebrate the union of couples and solidarity between families in Filipino culture.

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513 views3 pages

Pamamanhikan Now

Pamamanhikan is a traditional Filipino marriage custom where a man formally asks the parents of his prospective bride for her hand in marriage. It demonstrates respect for the family and ensures the marriage is blessed. The ritual involves the groom's family visiting the bride's family to discuss marriage plans and seek their approval. While courting the woman, the man may also perform household chores to prove his responsibility. Though modernizing, pamamanhikan continues to celebrate the union of couples and solidarity between families in Filipino culture.

Uploaded by

Kin Trinidad
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Pamamanhikan:

A Tradition of Courtship, Marriage, and Solidarity of Filipinos

I. Introduction (Roxanne)
Every culture has their own set of wedding customs, practices, and rituals. Needless to
say, Filipinos have a wealth of wedding traditions carried out before, during, and after the
wedding ceremony itself. Interestingly, there might even be as many wedding traditions as the
number of provinces in the Philippines. One of these age-old traditions that is alive to this day is
the infamous traditional marriage custom, pamamanhikan.

A. History (John)
1. What is Pamamanhikan?
= The traditional marriage proposal takes the form of the pamanhikan or pamamanhikan or
the "parental marriage proposal", a formal way of a man asking the parents of the woman for
her hand.
Pamamanhikan is derived from the word “panhik,” which means to climb or ascend the house’s
stairs. The idea of climbing the stairs and asking the family for one’s hand in marriage has to do
with the architecture of Filipino homes in earlier days. Most houses were elevated, with a
flight of stairs leading up to the front door. A man had to climb these stairs before he could
propose to the family of his bride-to-be.
The closest contextual English translation to pamamanhikan is probably “to implore” because
the Filipino tradition involves some kind of appeal or pleading before obtaining the parents’
blessing.
2. Pamamanhikan: Solidarity and Union of Couples and Families (Kent)
= Pamamanhikan is an important part of our culture. It is a symbol of honor and respect for the
parents to whom it refers before the marriage is solemnized. The Filipino culture and tradition
of Pamamanhikan, a family-oriented value and marriage tradition, is one that is deeply
embedded in our culture. The act is a way for us to express our respect for our parents and to
ensure that our marriage is blessed by them.
= This traditional marriage shows the celebration of both families gathered refers to the formal
meeting between parents of a man and a woman to discuss their marriage prospects. The act of
union and solidarity of individuals are solemn and a blessing for both families and the couple.
You are asking for the hand of the woman you love hence it is an agreement between families
and the man that his intentions must be clear because of his love and will for the woman he
loves. Also, the couple must exchange words of honor before they can solemnize their
marriage. The purpose of this ritual is to demonstrate mutual respect and commitment.
Another benefit is to reinforce the family’s commitment to Filipino culture and values. In the
meeting, the man would also talk about his intentions, plans for the future, and what kind of
life he will provide for the woman. Intentionally, both parents will share experiences and
advices for the couple, and most importantly, the blessing that grants for the hand of the
woman and their engagement. This meeting is an important step in Filipino courtship, and it
should be approached in a positive manner, integrity, and respect.

B. Paninilbihan: A Love Language of Acts and Service (Rose)


Just like any other set of practices and customs, there is an important event during the process
of the engagement, which is called paninilbihan. Before a man could ask for a girl’s hand in
marriage, he had to undergo another task called paninilbihan (servitude), which is a Filipino
tradition done during courtship.
The soon-to-be-groom proves his intentions by performing a variety of household chores.
According to Filipino elders, this is a way for the groom to show how responsible he is.
Apparently, this practice is dying but it is very much alive in men who subconsciously practice
paninilbihan through both traditional and modernized chores.

C. Celebration of Pamamanhikan (Krisha)


So how does this Filipino marriage tradition work? What does one do in pamamanhikan? How is
pamamanhikan done?
1. The process starts with both couple informing and announcing to both of their parents that
they are planning for an engagement. Afterward, the man asks the parents of his chosen bride
for her hand in marriage. If they approve, the groom and his family would then visit the bride’s
family (usually at dinner time) for their first official meeting of both families.
2. The meeting often starts with a basic introduction of the family members, especially if they
have not met. Afterward, both families discuss the fundamentals of the wedding, such as the
date, wedding venues, the and guest list, among others.
3. Traditionally, the groom’s family shoulders the wedding expenses. But most modern couples
are comfortable with splitting the wedding payments. These particular details can be discussed
with the family during the pamamanhikan.
4. The agenda of the meeting depends on whether the families already know each other. If this
is the first time they’ve met, the focus of the meeting will be them getting to know one another.
On the other hand, if the families are already well-acquainted, they will focus more on the
wedding plans.
5. If the meeting takes place at the woman’s home, her side of the family prepares the food.
The groom’s family may also bring some food. Food is an important part of celebration,
especially in Filipino cultures and traditions. All families bring a variety of food and eat together.
6. There is no written rule that encourages both sides to present gifts. In practice, however, this
often happens. Sometimes, the groom’s family brings gifts.
7. In the past, the location of the pamamanhikan frequently took place at the woman’s home.
But plans can change, especially if the bride-to-be’s home is too small to accommodate guests.
During such cases, the couple hosts the meeting in a restaurant with a private room (modern).
This allows for a quieter environment for discussion.

D. The Embedded Culture of Courtship and Marriage (Glena)


This question arises to fellow Filipinos and that is, Do we still need pamamanhikan today?
Pamamanhikan is not a requirement to tie the knot, but it’s a tradition that demonstrates the
respectful nature of the man and echoes the values of the Filipino family. No matter how
modern the world has become, there is still beauty in honoring family traditions. The act of
engagement, union of individuals, and solidarity between families are experiences and shared
treasures that highlights the importance of this traditional and modernized marriage practice.
The best feeling in the world is knowing you have your family’s support and love as you enter
another chapter in your life as a couple.

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