Therapist Exercise

Try Banning a Soothing, Distracting

The purpose of this exercise is to notice and identify which parts of you activate
when you are permanently deprived of a favorite activity or behavior. This will help
you understand the reluctance and fear many clients exhibit when they are told
they must get sober or never engage in a particular activity ever again. Remember
that all parts serve a purpose, and for clients with addictive processes, the prospect
of banning a soothing or distracting firefighter can be frightening.

First, get comfortable. You can lie on the floor or sit up if you prefer. Begin by
focusing on your breathing. If it feels comfortable, put one hand over your heart
and the other on your belly. Take a few moments to breathe deeply into these two
emotional centers. When you’re ready, think of an activity you particularly enjoy. It
might be something like watching funny movies, cooking, eating a favorite food,
exercising, walking in the woods, or reading. Don’t choose an activity or food item
that is controversial for your system. Pick one that brings you genuine enjoyment
without any conflict attached to it.

Now, watch yourself engaging in this activity. Notice your facial expressions and
body language. When you’re ready, connect to the part associated with this
behavior. How much does it enjoy engaging in this behavior? How important is
the behavior to the part? Perhaps it feels very important, somewhat important, or
even unimportant.

Then ask the part if it is willing to play a game that may cause some distress but will
teach you some important information. If it agrees, say that the game is beginning,
and tell the part that it can never engage in this favorite behavior again. Not ever. If
the part tries to negotiate for more time with this behavior, be very firm and insist
that the behavior can never happen again. It is completely over.

Notice any reactions to this news in your body, including any thoughts as you say,
“No, never again.” If any parts protest to the ban, tell them they are bad if they can’t
agree to stop the behavior. You may notice some activation in your belly that feels

* The concept for this exercise originated from IFS Senior Trainer Mary Kruger.

Copyright © 2023, Sykes, Sweezy & Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Addictions. All rights reserved.
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like worry, anxiety, or fear. You may notice a thought response along the lines of:
Hey! You can’t do that. Perhaps you notice disbelief. Maybe a part says, “Don’t worry,
I’ll still find a way” or “You can’t tell me what to do.” Connect to the parts who react
and ask how this change would affect them. You may want to ask what concerns
they have about giving up this activity. Again, tell them if they can’t stop, they are
being bad.

Finally, reassure all your parts that this was just an experiment and that it is actually
fine for them to continue doing what they enjoy. Notice what that statement feels
like in your body, including any thoughts or comments that come up. Take a few
minutes to write about your experience. How did this experiment in deprivation
feel to your system? What was it like for your parts to be told what to do and to
have no recourse? How did it feel to be judged when they objected? Finally, how
might this experience inform or support you in connecting with a client who
comes to you for help with an addictive process?

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Copyright © 2023, Sykes, Sweezy & Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Addictions. All rights reserved.
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 Therapist Exercise

Explore Your Reaction to the Words Addict and Addiction

This exercise is designed to mildly activate any parts of you that hold conscious
or unconscious bias about the words addict or addiction. Since these terms are
commonly used in the field of substance use treatment, this exercise is designed to
help you explore any unseen reactivity that these words elicit. If you think it will be
too activating for you, do not do this exercise alone. Invite a friend or colleague to
do it with you and support each other.

Find a quiet place and make yourself comfortable, taking a few minutes to adjust
your position until you feel physically at ease or at rest. If it feels okay, close your
eyes, inviting even your eyes to rest and enjoy doing less. Then focus on your
breathing, and try extending your inhalations and exhalations to the count of
seven, eight, or nine. Notice your deeper breath as your body settles. Take time to
enjoy this feeling of self-regulation.

When you are ready, focus internally on your thoughts and emotions. Take your
time simply focusing on your inner experience. Now say the word addict to yourself
a few times or repeat the word addiction. As you do this out loud or internally,
notice your body, feelings, and thoughts. Notice any images that come to mind.
Perhaps a real or an imagined “addict” came to your mind’s eye. If so, how do you
feel toward that person? What do you notice yourself thinking about that person?
Do you have the urge to get away from that person or take care of them?

Maybe the word itself, without any images, activates some parts in your system. Do
these parts feel sad, angry, fed up, frustrated, hopeless, or helpless? Notice all the
parts who react to the words addict or addiction. Say hello to these parts, and if it
feels right, be curious and ask them to share the origin of their reaction to those
words. When you understand, let them know.

When your exchange feels complete, appreciate them for sharing with you. Then bring
your attention back and take some time to draw or journal about your experience.

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Copyright © 2023, Sykes, Sweezy & Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Addictions. All rights reserved.
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Copyright © 2023, Sykes, Sweezy & Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Addictions. All rights reserved.
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