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Basic Counselling Skills

UNIT
Structure:

2.1
2.2
Attending Behaviour and Communication Skills
Observational Skills
2
2.3 Skills of Active Listening
2.4 Reflective Skills
2.5 Integrative Skills
2.6 Influencing Skills
2.7 Capacity Forming Skills
2.8 Eliciting and Reflecting Skills
Summary
Keywords
Self-Assessment Questions
Answers to Check your Progress
Suggested Reading

Basic Counselling Skills 15

15
 Notes
Objectives
After going through this unit, you will be able to:
• Recognize each counselling skill in detail

2.1 ATTENDING BEHAVIOUR AND COMMUNICATION

SKILLS
The Counsellor enables the client and facilitates positive change. Every
individual is unique with his own experiences, feeling, personality, etc. The
counsellor will be able to do this if he is trained and acquires a number of skills.
We will see these skills in detail in this unit.
Attending behaviour is giving your undivided attention to your client.
It is the ability to be physically present with the client by making eye contact,
appropriate body language, nodding. These attending behaviour shows to the
client that you care. It shows that you are present and also interested in the
client.
Listening skills and attending behaviour are both inter-related – they
complement and affect each other. Attending to the client will help you to listen
to the verbal and the non-verbal communication. The quality of your attending
skills sends a powerful message to the client. So, if you attend well, then your
genuineness, empathy and acceptance are communicated to the client. Being
attentive involves being sensitive to the client’s feelings and experiences. Here
are some pointers to improve your attending skills –
a. Eye contact – maintain direct and continuous eye contact. This does not
mean staring. If the client is uncomfortable with the direct eye contact;
then break off the contact and then return.
b. Facial expressions – it should be consistent what you are saying. You
should also mirror your expression with what the client is saying.
For example, if the client is telling you his achievement, then look
pleased.
c. Seating – make sure that you are sitting at an appropriate distance from
the client. Not too near – he may feel uncomfortable with the proximity,
and not too far – so that he has to raise his voice to be heard. Generally
the distance may be 3 – 5 feet. The seats must be at the same height.
Rather than facing the client directly, sit at an angle. This position is more
comfortable for some clients and also less confrontational.
d. Posture – it must be upright, centered and comfortable. You should lean
towards the client. Slouching or leaning back does not communication
attention. An open posture (hands and legs not crossed) signals your
interest and willingness to connect with the client.

1616 Counsellor and Counselling Skills

Attending behaviour has four very simple dimensions 3 V’s + B – Notes
● Visual/Eye contact - look directly at the client without staring.
● Vocal qualities – the tone, volume, modulation, etc are important.
● Verbal tracking – rephrasing and summarizing the client’s thoughts
● Body language - it must be attentive and genuine.
Being able to communicate is the most important skill of all. It enables
the counsellor to understand what is being said and to convey information to
the client. In the most simple form, communication is the act of transferring
information from one to another. This can be done through different media like
voice, written like printed matter, websites, books, etc, visually by using graphs,
symbols, etc and non-verbally by gestures, facial expressions, etc. Learning or
improving communication skill is a long term process. Some ways to improve
your communication skills are –
● Focus on your non verbal communication
● Practice active listening – become good listeners
● Practice public speaking
● Ask for feedback – make sure you are understood.
● Manage your emotions – for clear communication, it is important to
manage emotions and express them appropriately and in context. Strong
emotions especially in a professional set up lead to poor communication
and also conflict. Take time to respond.
● Simplify and stay with the message.

2.2 OBSERVATIONAL SKILLS

Good observational skill allows the counsellor to identify discrepancies or
inconsistencies in the clients’ communication. This skill is used throughout the
counselling interview. The counsellor observes the tone, facial expression, body
language, etc of the client. By accurately observing the non-verbal behaviour,
the counsellor can gauge the affect the words and actions have on the client.
Observation skill helps the counsellor to get a lot of information from the client.
The counsellor may also observe certain words that the client repeats again and
again.
To improve observation skills the following tips may be followed –
● Slow down and look outwards
● Know your subject
● Improve your concentration by removing/reducing distractions
● Challenge yourself to a mental workout
● Play a memory game
● Record and consider your observation
● Be inquisitive!!

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 Notes 2.3 SKILLS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
Active listening is essential for the counselor to develop a positive and
healthy interaction with the client. It is useful to fully understand the client
and also the correct emotion and its depth. The counselor may paraphrase to
ensure that he has understood accurately. Every time the counselor correctly
labels the emotion, the client feels understood and this helps in reducing the
intensity. Your reasoning and logical ability can function more effectively when
the emotional distress and intensity are reduced.
The counselor needs to do the following during the session and also to
develop active listening you have to –
● Show that you are listening
● Pay attention
● Respond appropriately
● Repeat the conversation to them using the clients words and with your
understanding and interpretation of the conversation.
● Be accurate while summarizing from time to time
● If your understanding or interpretation is not well received, try again. Ask
for more information.
● Provide feedback – regarding the content as well as feelings.
● Defer judgment
● Allow silences / pauses. Be aware of the body language, facial expressions,
gestures during the pause. Notice changes and respond accordingly.
The counsellor must avoid the following –
1. Talking about themselves and thinking about their own reactions/
comments. Self disclosure must be used judiciously.
2. Changing the topic
3. Thinking about what they will say or ask next. This will be distracting and
you may miss something.
4. Allowing the client to drift and change topics. Bring him back gently but
firmly on track.
5. Finishing their sentences for them.
6. Pretending to understand the person.
7. Advising, baiting, criticizing the client.
8. Ignoring the client’s feelings.

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 Notes
Check your Progress 1

Fill in the blanks.

1. An _____ posture signals your interest and willingness to connect
with the client.
2. Communication is the act of transferring information from one to
another and is done through different _______
3. Good observational skill allows the counsellor to identify
___________ in the clients’ communication.
4. __________ _________ is essential for the counsellor to develop a
positive and healthy interaction with the client.
5. Reasoning and logical ability can function more effectively when the
emotional _______ and intensity are reduced.

2.4 REFLECTIVE SKILLS

To ensure that you have understood the client properly, reflecting is
important in a counselling relationship. Summarizing, paraphrasing and reflecting
are the skills that are used by counsellors to demonstrate their empathy to clients.
These skills help your clients to know that you are hearing and understanding
what they are saying. These skills help the counselling session by increasing the
client's awareness of their emotions, thinking patterns and behaviour. All these
skills involve repeating in your own words what the client has said during the
session. While repeating information, the Counsellor may also include his own
interpretations of the client's emotions or meaning to increase the client's awareness.
These skills prompt the client to reflect, introspect and talk more about the issues
that are being discussed. Summarizing is useful at the beginning of the session
or end of it. At the beginning of the session, the Counsellor reorients the client
about the previous session. Summarizing is nothing but condensing the content.
Paraphrasing is used for pacing the counselling session and for demonstrating
empathy. Paraphrases are condensed reflections. Reflections may be about the
content, feeling and meaning. Counsellors can add to their understanding and
reflect by constructing a reflection that integrates the content, affect and meaning.
Types of Reflections –
● Content – reflecting content is repeating your version of what the client
has said. It shows the client that you have understood him. Reflecting
content is not as powerful and effective as reflecting with emotions and/
or meaning.
● Emotions – reflecting the client’s emotions are useful for increasing the
client’s awareness. It also helps them to label their own emotions. The
counsellor must have a wide range of emotional vocabulary, so that they
can use the proper label to the clients’ intensity of the emotion.
Basic Counselling Skills 19
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 Notes ● Meaning – by using meaning; it increases the depth of the session. This
encourages the client to introspect and brings about clarity about his
thoughts, emotions and behaviour.
Hence, Reflection may be defined as the process of paraphrasing and
restating the feelings and words of the client, The purpose of reflections are –
● To allow the client to hear their own thoughts.
● To show the client that you are doing your best to understand their
messages.
● To help the client to focus on what they say and feel.
● To show the client that you are trying to see the world as they see it
● To encourage them to continue talking.
The two main techniques of reflecting are mirroring and paraphrasing.
● Mirroring is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeating almost
exactly what the client has said. It is short and simple. Usually just the
keywords are repeated. Mirroring helps the client to know that you are
trying to understand their frame of reference and it also acts as a prompt
for them to continue. The Counsellor should be careful not over do this
technique as it can become irritating and distracting.
● Paraphrasing is using other words to reflect what the client has said. It is
important that the counsellor does not introduce his own ideas or question
the client about his thoughts, feelings and actions. The counsellors
responses should be non-directive and also non- judgmental.

2.5 INTEGRATIVE SKILLS

An integrative skill or approach to counselling involves using more than
one mode or therapy. It is a blend of different theories and approaches formed
to suit the needs of the client. This offers an approach that is tailored for the
needs of the client. This allows the Counsellor to practice in a way which will
reflect his theoretical viewpoint. The integrative approach looks different in
every therapeutic relationship because the therapist brings his own experiences
and perspectives to the relationship and also, each client is different and so are
their needs. Integration involves using different techniques in a complimentary
way.
The main benefits of using this approach are –
● It can create a flexible and dynamic approach to suit the client.
● It allows the therapist or counsellor to create a method for models that
work for him.
● It is useful for clients who prefer a mixture of approaches.
The main problems or criticism regarding this approach are –
● Because a mixture of modalities is used, it could be confusing for the
client.

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● The therapist or counsellor is using different approaches on modalities he Notes
may not develop sufficient expertise in any of them.
● Selection of the approaches should serve the needs of the client and not
the convenience of the therapist.
The integrative approach allows for a deeper emotional therapeutic
experience. This is because the use of different modalities help to explore in a
holistic manner – addressing the mind, body, conscious and unconscious. For
eg – Using the psychoanalytical approach, the counsellor may explore some
childhood experience. Later he may use C.B.T. for thinking distortion, some
mindfulness exercises can also be used.

Check your Progress 2

State True of False.

1. Reflections may be about the content of the counselling session and
the counsellors experience,
2. Mirroring is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeating almost
exactly what the client has said.
3. Integrative approach is a blend of different theories and approaches
formed to suit the needs of the counsellor.
4. Integrative approach allows for a deeper emotional therapeutic
experience.
5. Psychoanalytical approach, the counsellor may explore some
childhood experience.

2.6 INFLUENCING SKILLS

Influencing skills are the ability to convince and bring around a person
to your view point or way of thinking about a issue/topic. This is done without
coercion or force and also acknowledging that persons opinions. This is an
active skill rather than passive. Influencing is a direct approach to bring about
client change with specific alternative courses of action. In this method, the
change is quicker and more permanent. In this way, change is facilitated in the
way the client chooses to think or act. Trustworthiness of the counsellor is the
major factor in this skill.
There are five different influencing skills that a counsellor can use –
1. Self disclosure – it is the counsellor sharing of personal information with
the clients. A counsellor may purposefully share with the client using it as
a tool. When used sparingly, professionally and appropriately, counsellor
self-disclosure can build trust, empathy and strengthen the therapeutic
relationship between the counsellor and his client. However, counsellor

Basic Counselling Skills 21

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 Notes self-disclosure also holds the potential to derail progress and take focus
off of the client and shifts it towards the counsellor.
2. Feedback – is telling the client what the counsellor has seen or heard
during the session and also his ideas regarding the same. This is a very
important skill for effective counselling. This is not about measuring or
reviewing the clients’ performance but about seeing where the client sees
himself. This gives a chance to the ask the client about what they want
from future sessions. The feedback types are – positive, negative and
corrective.
Positive Feedback – helps to look at the positives, discover their strengths,
look for useful resources and assets. It helps the client to reduce emotional
distress and feeling of hopelessness. It also enhances the clients’ best
qualities.
Corrective Feedback – focuses on behaviours/thoughts that might be
hurting the client and hindering his growth. The feedback is accompanied
by supportive statements, praise and positive thoughts.
Negative Feedback – This is necessary when the client is not willing to
listen to the corrective feedback. It focuses on the worst. It is hard to
handle and if not properly given it becomes unhelpful. If the negative
feedback is appropriate, timed properly and delivered then it becomes
positive.
The following points have to be considered while giving feedback –
● When the feedback is harshly given, it is unhelpful. So, the feedback
is to be given carefully and respectfully. Also, when the feedback
is given too often and without regarding the clients feelings; the
client will become defensive. This may result in the client loosing
motivation, his self confidence and lowering his self esteem.
● Feedback is not always negative. So do not always focus on the
things that are not right or not working.
● Feedback is also not always positive. Focusing on only the strengths
and positives will not help the client to change.
● There has to be balance between positive and negative feedback.
3. Logical Consequences – is exploring the various alternatives and the
logical positive and negative consequence of each. It is nothing but
weighing the pros and cons. When you use logical thinking to weight
the alternatives; you can predict the effects of the selection. The steps for
logical consequence are as follows –
● Listen to understand the client’s view i.e. how he sees the situation.
● Question and probe the client to help him to think about the impact
of his actions.
● Disclose the necessary data and the possible consequences of the
client’s actions.

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 ● Summarize to provide both the positive and negative consequences Notes
non-judgmentally.
● Encourage the client to make decisions.
4. Psycho-education – It is the process of providing information and
educating those seeking mental health services. It is a systematic and
structured knowledge transfer. It can include information shared orally,
written material like article, manuals, handouts, etc. Homework or the
activities given during the session can also psycho-educate. Examples – it
can be teaching assertiveness, meditation, relaxation techniques, teaching
life skills, etc.
5. Directives - are used to direct the client to follow specific actions. Clients
make positive progress when they follow the directives and they engage
in more positive ways of thinking, feeling or behaviour.
These points are to be considered while deciding a directive strategy –
● The client should be involved as a participant in the directive
strategy. Eg – use statements like – “I suggest you try….”
● Check whether the directive has been heard properly and understood
by the client.
● Be clear, precise and concrete in your verbal expression.
● Time the directive to meet the client’s needs.

2.7 CAPACITY FORMING SKILLS

Capacity forming or capacity building is the process of developing and
strengthening the abilities, skills, instincts, resources, etc that the individuals/
counsellors/organization need to survive or grow in their professional field.
Capacity building is important because of its long term impact. Increased
capacities strengthen your confidence, skills, knowledge and resources.
Counsellors need to build their capacities to become better professionals and
also to improve the quality of the life their clients. There are many ways in
which the counsellors can boost their skills and expertise. Some of these are –
1. Work on your micro skills – Micro skills are constantly used in the
counselling process. Hence, you need to work on these skills to improve
your effectiveness as a counsellor.
2. Increase your professional effectiveness – become more organized
and efficient in your daily tasks. You have to also work on your time
management skills, emotional resilience, goal setting and planning skills.
3. Get a supervisor or mentor – a good supervisor or a mentor can guide
you and help you to improve your skills.
4. Learn continuously – keep yourself updated by attending seminars,
workshops etc. You may also learn new techniques which will help
you.

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 Notes 5. Care for yourself – this is a profession where there is a high chance of
burnout and stress. Understanding how stress and burnout affect is the
starting point to develop ways to deal with them. Also, you need to find a
good work-life balance.
6. Be knowledgeable – There are many models that are used in counselling.
Simply knowing about the theory is not enough and you should be able to
apply this knowledge with the various techniques, Knowing the benefits
as well as the disadvantages will help the counsellor to work out and
develop interventions that are suitable for the client.
7. Understand your clients – During the session with the clients, flexibility
and responsiveness in your communication are important. Each client
is unique with different mindsets and emotional states. Many a times,
clients are resistant to change, some of them may be involuntary, etc. The
counsellors’ ability to adjust to the client’s needs dictate the outcome of
the therapeutic relationship.
8. Volunteer – Becoming a volunteer in a NGO or community sector is
useful and you may learn more about working as a counsellor in such
organizations as a counsellor. He gets an opportunity to apply various
skills, techniques and his knowledge in practice and also can get an
experience working in a community. This increases the confidence of the
counsellor and also gives a positive feeling about contributing to society.

2.8 ELICITING AND REFLECTING SKILLS

Eliciting and reflecting gives an opening to the client for a situation/
thought having a deeper meaning and also a deeper awareness regarding the
different possibilities. Reflecting involves directing the client to a different
interpretation or reframing. The clients’ reflection of meaning and the
counsellors’ interpretation or reframing brings about more ideas with a new
insight. The clients are encouraged to explore their own meaning in more depth
from their own perspective. Eliciting focuses on the clients view and what
motivates him.

Activity 1

1. Talk to a person about one of his or her experiences; either good or

bad. Explain this experience, including that persons feelings and
perspective, to others using you own words.
2. Interview an individual and practice reflecting skills with him in the
interview.

2424 Counsellor and Counselling Skills

 Notes
Check your Progress 3

Multiple Choice Single Response.

1. _______________ skills are the ability to convince and bring around
a person to your view point.
a. Communication
b. Influencing
c. Verbal
d. Reflecting
2. ________________ Feedback focuses on behaviours/thoughts that
might be hurting the client and hindering his growth.
a. Corrective
b. Positive
c. Instant
d. Client
3. One of these is not an influencing skill –
a. Psycho-education
b. Self disclosure
c. Logical consequence
d. Capacity
4. ________________ is the process of developing and strengthening
the abilities, skills, instincts, resources, etc
a. Self awareness
b. Capacity building
c. Integrating
d. Counselling
5. Eliciting focuses on the clients view and what ______________ him.
a. Disturbs
b. Helps
c. Motivates
d. Influences

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 Notes Summary
● In this unit we have learnt the different micro skills that the counsellors
use in detail. We have also seen the different ways to improve these skills.

Keywords
● Attending behaviour - is giving your undivided attention to your client.
Use of appropriate body language and gestures help the counsellor to
show that he is interested.
● Observational skill - allows the counsellor to identify discrepancies or
inconsistencies in the clients’ communication. This skill is used throughout
the counselling interview.
● Active listening - is essential for the counsellor to develop a positive
and healthy interaction with the client. It is useful to fully understand the
client and also the correct emotion and its depth.
● Reflective skills - ensure that you have understood the client properly, It
helps the counselling session by increasing the client's awareness of their
emotions, thinking patterns and behaviour.
● Integrative approach – is using more than one mode or therapy. It is a
blend of different theories and approaches formed to suit the needs of the
client.
● Influencing skills - the ability to convince and bring around a person to
your view point or way of thinking. This is done without coercion or force
and also acknowledging that persons opinions.
● Logical Consequences – weighing the pros and cons. It is exploring the
various alternatives and the logical positive and negative consequence of
each.
● Psycho-education – It is the process of providing information and
educating those seeking mental health services. It is a systematic and
structured knowledge transfer.
● Capacity forming or capacity building - It is the process of developing
and strengthening the abilities, skills, instincts, resources, etc
● Eliciting and reflecting - gives an opening to the client for a situation/
thought having a deeper meaning and also a deeper awareness regarding
the different possibilities.

Self-Assessment Questions
1. Explain different ways to improve attending behaviour.
2. How to improve your communication skill?
3. Explain the do’s and don’t’s of active listening.

2626 Counsellor and Counselling Skills

4. What are reflecting skills? Explain the different types and techniques. Notes
5. What are different influencing skills? Explain.

Answers to Check your Progress

Check your Progress 1
Fill in the blanks.
1. Open
2 Media
3. Discrepancies
4 Active listening
5. Distress

Check your Progress 2

State True or False.
1. False
2. True
3. False
4. True
5. True

Check your Progress 3

Multiple Choice Single Response.
1. b. Influencing
2. a. Corrective
3. d. capacity
4. b. capacity building
5. c. motivates

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 Notes
Suggested Reading
1. Basic Counselling Skills – A Helper’s Manual. By Richard Nelson-Jones,
Sage Publication
2. The Skilled Helper – A Systematic Approach to Effective Helping – By
Gerard Egan
3. Practical Approach to Counselling – By Margaret Hough, Pitman
Publication
4. Counselling Psychology by Charles Gelso
5. Guidance and Counselling in Indian Education – By S.K. Gupta
6. Practical Approach to Counselling – By Margaret Hough

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