INTERNATIONAL

GCSE
ENGLISH LANGUAGE
(9270)
NEA exemplar student responses
with commentary
For teaching from September 2016 onwards
For GCSE exams in May/June 2018 onward

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved.
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

This guide includes four student exemplar responses to the NEA project. It is intended that these
materials be used as a guide for teachers to provide some examples of the kind of responses that might
be submitted with some exemplification of the mark scheme and marker commentary. Each series
standardising material will be provided for teachers to use in schools.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 2
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

CONTENTS
Student A .................................................................................................................................................................................. 4
Student A Commentary ...................................................................................................................................................... 24

Student B ............................................................................................................................................................................... 26
Student B Commentary ...................................................................................................................................................... 49

Student C ............................................................................................................................................................................... 51
Student C Commentary ...................................................................................................................................................... 58

Student D ............................................................................................................................................................................... 60
Student D Commentary ...................................................................................................................................................... 69

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 3
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT A

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 4
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 5
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 6
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 7
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 8
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 9
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 10
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 11
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 12
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 13
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 14
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 15
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 16
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 17
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 18
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 19
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 20
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 21
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 22
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 23
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT A COMMENTARY

DISMAL DISNEY DOOMED SINCE 1937?

TASK
This was a well-chosen topic to show engagement with various issues arising from the relationship
between media and society. The student engaged with a basic issue of gender stereotypes, but
developed some sophistication in exploring their implications for children’s development, aspiration and
self-esteem. The student considered ways in which the Disney genre evolved over the years, and
evaluated the success of the evolution in matching social change over time.

READING AND RESEARCH

The student compiled a varied and challenging set of sources, with variety in ideas and in data. The
questionnaire and responses, whilst very local and limited, showed enterprise and originality in seeking
and supporting evidence.

READING AND RESEARCH COMMENTARY

The commentary is assured rather than sophisticated. It does not show much criticality in relation to
sources, or much reconciling of different viewpoints but the sources are varied in type and content,
including visual, print and statistical, with a strong historical theme. The sample of source annotation
shows discrimination in selection and usage. The taped interview shows independence and enterprise.

Reading: Band 6 Mark 27

• Impressive knowledge and breadth of reading; perceptive and challenging. (B6)
• Sophisticated and independent integration and adaptation of source information. (B6)
• Impressive condensing and extrapolating from material to serve audience and purpose. (B6)
• Explanation, example and commentary show assured and independent grasp of the reading and
research processes. (B5)
• Five sources cited on cover sheet.

WRITING
The writing sustains a vigorous argument throughout, with reference to visual features, activities and
song lyrics. The writer’s commitment to the task is evident throughout, and is never less than assured.
Parts show sophistication in the expression of sophisticated ideas. There is some repetition of
argumentative strategies and some reliance on a limited range of expressive devices – for example, 11
usages of the “I believe” tag. There are some minor lapses in a lengthy piece of writing – some omitted
punctuation, some comma splices and some confusion of to/too and were/where. There are also some
oddities of idiom in the case of ‘presenting the completely wrong impression on today’s young’ and some
confusing word choice in ‘personalities they are reformed to have’ and ‘changed the older characters to
reform within this new society’.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 24
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

WRITING COMMENTARY
This is relatively weak. There is reference to headlines, varied presentation and to use of rhetorical
questions, but apart from these references, there is not much to show a strong grasp of how the writing
repertoire may be exploited for audience and purpose.

Writing: Band 5 Mark 25

• Communicates in a convincing and/or compelling way, fully engaging the reader with sustained
personal voice and delightful/mature vocabulary choices. (B6)
• Uses a variety of structural features to enhance the writing as appropriate. (B6)
• Clear and controlled manipulation of sentence structures for effect. (B6)
• High grammatical accuracy, accuracy in spelling and a range of punctuation used appropriately,
accurately and effectively. (B6)
• Explanation, example and commentary show clear understanding of the writing process. (B4)

Total mark awarded 52/60

ANNOTATION
Marginal and summative comments on the project and on the commentaries are very general and do not
use the assessment criteria to show the student’s specific levels of attainment. There is little to show
awareness of the unevenness in the qualities of thought and expression.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 25
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT B

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 26
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 27
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

See pages 30-32 for reading commentary

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 28
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

See pages 35-38 for writing commentary

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 29
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 30
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 31
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 32
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 33
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 34
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 35
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 36
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 37
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 38
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 39
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 40
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 41
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 42
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 43
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 44
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 45
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 46
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 47
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 48
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT B COMMENTARY

JUST HOW OPTIMISTIC IS OPTIMISM?

TASK
The student’s chosen title for the project itself promises sophistication, and that promise is immediately,
substantially and continuously fulfilled.

READING AND RESEARCH

There is ample challenge in the sources, and a spread of information and viewpoint that engages the
student in complex issues and the need to negotiate and reconcile differences. Throughout, the student
engages in a dialogue with received ideas, showing independent criticality and a strong sense of how
understanding has been enhanced by reading. This is Reading and research that can be described as
impressive, sophisticated and perceptive.

READING COMMENTARY
The commentary itself is more rigorous, detailed, relevant and interesting than many students’ whole
submission! It is more substantial than required, and not reproduced here as an example of what is
expected of all, but it does reflect the way in which the NEA project can be the means of stretching and
challenging the very able.

Reading: Band 6 Mark 30 (full marks)

• Impressive knowledge and breadth of reading; perceptive and challenging. (B6)
• Sophisticated & independent integration and adaptation of source information. (B6)
• Impressive condensing and extrapolating from material to serve audience and purpose. (B6)
• Explanation, example and commentary show sophisticated & independent command of the
reading & research processes. (B6)
• Five sources cited on cover sheet.

WRITING
The writing is impressively controlled and varied, with resources of vocabulary and sentence structure
exploited with a naturalness that masks complexity, and with no trace of the mechanical application of a
list of writing devices. The voice is authentically that of an individual throughout, but it is a voice
modulated to meet the needs of the most critical and well-informed readers. This is writing that can be
described as impressive, sophisticated and perceptive, forcefully and subtly crafted for audience and
purpose.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 49
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

WRITING COMMENTARY
The commentary is, again, exceptional in its detail, substance and relevance, and is beyond what may
be expected of most students, but it does provide a model in its focus on skills and its reflections of craft
and purpose that can help others.

Writing: Band 6 Mark 30 (full marks)

• Communicates in a convincing and/or compelling way, fully engaging the reader with sustained
personal voice and delightful/mature vocabulary choices. (B6)
• Uses a variety of structural features to enhance the writing as appropriate. (B6)
• Clear and controlled manipulation of sentence structures for effect. (B6)
• Grammatically secure with a high level of accuracy in spelling and a range of punctuation used
appropriately, accurately and effectively. (B6)
• Explanation, example and commentary show sophisticated & independent command of the
writing process. (B6)

Total mark awarded 60/60 (full marks)

ANNOTATION
Marginal and summative annotation is impressive in its accurate application of criteria and identification
of strengths in the reading, research and writing.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 50
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT C

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 51
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 52
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 53
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 54
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 55
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 56
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 57
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT C COMMENTARY

LEARNING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE AT AN EARLY AGE.

TASK
This is a topic with ample potential for researching and presenting reasons and conditions, making links
to cultural, occupation, educational and political aspects of the proposal. However, these do not feature
strongly in the project, despite some of the paragraph headings. The student’s declared purpose of
‘informing’ tends to inhibit the show of managing conflicting data and viewpoints. This results in a limited
display of response to sources – usually content transfer – and a limited communicative repertoire.

READING AND RESEARCH

The sources are appropriately varied in kind but offer little to engage the student in critical evaluation of
competing data and viewpoints. Use of the source material amounts to little more than information
retrieval. There is little to show application and development from the reading and research.

READING AND RESEARCH COMMENTARY

This is weak. There is some awareness of reading and research as processes but no clear
understanding of what the processes involve. There are some very simple statements about choice of
sources ‘because they contained a lot if useful information’ and ‘substantiated my argument’. There is no
evidence of the student’s annotated engagement with the sample of source material.

Reading: Band 3 Mark 12

• A range of relevant information. (B3)
• Appropriate selection of source information. (B3)
• Understanding of material to serve audience and purpose. (B3)
• Explanation and commentary show awareness of reading and research as processes. (B3)
• Five sources cited on cover sheet.

WRITING
Writing is undeveloped, being a series of six declarative paragraphs. It is difficult to see how this
amounts to a ‘project’ rather than a brief statement in support of the proposal. It is accurately written and
appropriately sequenced in rather paragraphs, but the paragraphs themselves are limited in internal
structure and are so weakly connected that they could be re-arranged in any order. This suggests some
lack of thinking development and diversity. The whole amounts to a series of statements, with little sense
of the complexity of the subject in the vocabulary and little sense of the language needed to explore,
hypothesise, suggest and advocate. The project as a whole is very thin and cannot be seen as a valid
use of the unlimited time available and the substantial mark weighting of 40%. It appears more
appropriate as a preparation for a speaking and listening activity with a 10% mark weighting.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 58
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

WRITING COMMENTARY
This is weak. There is some awareness of writing as a process, but no clear understanding of how
stylistic and structural choices may have been made to enhance coherence and vary appeal to the
reader.

Writing: Band 3 Mark 12

• Begins to engage the audience so that ideas can be followed without difficulty; more sustained
awareness of purpose and audience with some deliberate selection of vocabulary for effect. (B3)
• Ideas are logically sequenced with some conscious control of paragraphing usually marking a
shift in focus; paragraphs may be tabloid or over-extended at times. (B3)
• Conscious variation of sentence structures may be found in short sentences or exclamations for
effect, rhetorical questions, or in complex sentences linked with appropriate discourse markers
variation is unlikely to be sustained; may be some lack of control and grammatical insecurity. (B3)
• Some more complex words are spelt correctly as are some more complex some accuracy in, and
appropriate use of, a wider range of punctuation which begins to clarify meaning. (B3)
• Explanation and commentary show awareness of writing as a process. (B3)

Total mark awarded 24/60

ANNOTATION
There is very limited marginal annotation – too little to gain a moderator’s confidence in the internal
assessment process. Some descriptors applied in summative comment.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 59
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT D

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 60
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 61
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 62
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 63
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 64
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 65
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 66
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 67
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 68
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

STUDENT D COMMENTARY

MOTHER THERESA - A MODERN HEROINE?

THE TASK
The task is a simple speech on whether Mother Theresa is a heroine for modern times. There is some
scope here for showing a repertoire of communicative skills in representing different viewpoints, but
essentially the task is one of illustrating the subject’s virtues. The five short paragraphs offer little more
than transferred information with little development or extrapolation, and with little sense of an audience,
possibly because the task is a preparation for a Speaking and Listening event delivered to peers.

READING AND RESEARCH

There are four sources listed, but all from Wikipedia, and limited in range of data and ideas. Utilisation
amounts to simple content transfer.

READING COMMENTARY
The commentary shows some attempt to explain and comment on the reading and research process, but
range of comment is limited to three, and the detail is very limited. There is some naïve comment on the
reliability and dependability of sources, but no development to show what these may be based upon.

Reading: Band 2 Mark 7

• Some relevant information. (B2)
• Some use of source information. (B2)
• Some understanding of material to serve audience and/or purpose. (B2)
• Some attempt at explanation or commentary on reading or research. (B2)
• Four sources (all Wikipedia) cited on cover sheet.

WRITING COMMENTARY
There is simple comment on devices used such as connectives, paragraphs and formal language but
very little to show awareness of how these may support thinking or have an effect on readers. The
comments are enough to show some attempt at explanation with some awareness of writing as a
process.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 69
 INTERNATIONAL GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (9270)
NEA EXEMPLAR STUDENT RESPONSES WITH COMMENTARY

Writing: Band 2 Mark 8

• Communication is at times clear, with occasional awareness of purpose and audience; generally
simple vocabulary with occasional appropriate use of more complex words. (B2)
• Sometimes sequences ideas in a logical order; may indicate paragraphs
spasmodically/randomly; may occasionally start a new paragraph appropriately. (B2)
• Some conscious control of sentence structures; uses simple and compound sentences with
occasional complex sentences; likely to be grammatically insecure. (B2)
• Commonly used words spelt correctly; full stops and capital letters are usually used accurately
with occasional accurate use of other punctuation marks. (B2)

Total mark awarded 15/60

ANNOTATION
The project is very short, allowing little scope for annotation. The annotation records some general
features of clarity in organisation, selection of vocabulary and range of sentences. Comments would
show more familiarity with the aims and spirit of the specification if they related to the student’s lack of
understanding of the purpose of research and a NEA project. The simple content transfer of factual
material, and the lack of criticality in the task itself and in response to the reading do not suggest that the
student has made the best use of the favourable conditions of the NEA option.

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved. 70
GET HELP AND SUPPORT
Visit our website for information, guidance, support and resources at oxfordaqaexams.org.uk

You can contact the English subject team directly at:

E: english@oxfordaqaexams.org.uk

OXFORD INTERNATIONAL AQA EXAMINATIONS

GREAT CLARENDON STREET, OXFORD, OX2 6DP
UNITED KINGDOM
enquiries@oxfordaqaexams.org.uk
oxfordaqaexams.org.uk

Copyright © 2017 Oxford International AQA Examinations and its licensors. All rights reserved.