FUN CONVERSATIONS

M AT T A R T I S A N
 F U N C O N V E R S AT I O N S

CHEAT SHEET

Overview

Why Should You Be Fun?

• It’s the #1 reason women go out at night.
• Addictive chemicals are released in the brain when you are having fun.
• Easier to escalate physically and turn the conversation sexual.
• Creates a connection because people typically only joke and tease those they are
comfortable with.
• Helps you not come off as overly cool by revealing your dorky side.
• Allows you to flirt and show your interest.

Don’t be the jester or the entertainer. Be the king, the guy who others want to
impress and who has fun to entertain himself; not to impress others.

Do things that are fun for you. Go to venues that are fun for you.

#1 mission when you go out at night is to have fun. You can have secondary
missions as well such as doing a certain amount of approaches.

Variation Is Key. Don’t keep being fun or you’ll be seen as a dancing monkey. Mix
in other elements like Challenge and Rapport.

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 Fun Answers To Boring Questions

Her: “What’s your name?”

You: “Joe, but my stage name is Hercules.”
Her: “Oh yeah?”
You: “Yeah I dance at the Peppermint Hippo, I think I’ve seen you there.”
Her: “Oh yeah I go there all the time.”

Her: “What’s your name?”

You: “Tom….Tom Cruise.”
Her: “No it’s not!”
You: “Yes it is!”
Her: “No I don’t believe you.”
You: “Okay that was a test to make sure you are smart.”

Her: “Where are you from?”

You: “I’m from your imagination, I’m not even real.”
Her: “hahaha.”
You: “I can do anything I want to you right now and it wouldn’t matter because it’s
just your imagination. And I think you have a pretty naughty imagination.”

Her: “Where are you from?”

You: “Well I shouldn’t tell you, but, I’m from the future.”
Her: “Oh really!?”
You: “Yeah in the future there is a horrible zombie apocalypse and our unborn child
is the only hope for humanity.”

Her: “What do you do?”

You: “I’m an ass model.”
Her: “haha no way!”
You: “Yeah check it out, but no touching.”

Her: “What do you do?”

You: “I’’m the janitor at an adult movie theater.”
Her: “Ewww gross haha.”
You: “Yeah it’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.”

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 Random Off The Wall Statements & Questions

"You believe in vampires right?"

Note: In a club you can follow up by trying to bite her on the neck.

"You seem like trouble."

Note: This is also like a Pattern Interrupt because it is unexpected. It is also a small
Cold Read because you are telling her something about herself.

“Do you believe in love at first site? Because that guy over there keeps
looking at you.”
Note: This is a Bait & Switch.

Flirting, Bantering & Teasing Lines

"Hmm you are starting to win me over…too bad you are X.”
X = such a dork, too tall, too short, a model, blonde, etc.
Note: Maintains you being a challenge. For height I recommend saying the opposite of
what she is. Say “tall” if she is really short and “short” if she is really tall. Do not tease
a girl’s weight.

“I’m starting to like you, but don’t get any ideas I’m not going to just
start making out with you.”
Note: Great use of Negation.

“Were you just staring at my crotch?” OR “ Wow, stop staring at my tits/

package I have a brain too you know.”
Note: Great Role-Reversal.

“Don't fall in love with me.”

Note: Great use of negation. You can say this after you kiss her.

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“You are going to have the best time of your life.....because I'm going to
be there.”
Note: Slightly Cocky-Funny.

“Bad girl...go to my room.”

Note: Shows your sexual intent in a funny way.

“I don't hit girls but I will tickle you until you pee your pants.”
Note: Great comeback after she teases you or gives you an Attraction Test.

“Do you treat all guys like this or just guys you’re attracted too?”
Note: Great comeback after she teases you or gives you an Attraction Test.

“I'm not just some trophy boyfriend you can just use to show off to your
friends.”
Note: Great Role-Reversal that you can use during a marriage Role Play.

“High five. Foot five. Mouth five. Crotch five.”

Note: Funny quote from the show How I Met Your Mother.

“You are cute, I'm taking you home with me.”

Note: Say this after she does something you like. Hug her while you say it.

“I get that a lot but girls that say that usually have sex with me shortly
after so I never learn my lesson.”
Note: Good to use if she calls you an asshole, jerk, cocky, etc.

“I'm really picky about the girls I sleep with so don't expect me to sleep
with you.”
Note: Can use this as a Restricted Request.

*Remember to say these with a sly smile so she knows you are being playful and not
serious.

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 Opposite Of What Is True

“I think you are from Ethiopia.”

Note: Say this to a white girl.

“I’m really good at guessing people's professions, you must be a rock

star.”
Note: Say this to a nerdy girl with glasses.

“You have an accent, I’m guessing New Jersey.”

Note: Said to girl with a thick British accent. This is also a Dumb And Dumber movie
quote.

Misinterpretation

“I have that effect on women.”

Note: Say this to a girl who spills her drink and says, “I’m so wet” or a girl who says,
“I’m burning up in here”

“You just want me for my body” or “You are just trying to get in my
pants.”
Note: Say this if she does something nice for you. Make sure to say it with a smile.

“I’m sorry I can’t go home with you. I would love to but it’s just too soon.
I mean you are great and everything...”
Note: Say this when a girl tells you she has to go home.

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 Serious About Something Silly

“I would totally take you home tonight but I'm married with 5 kids.”
Note: Say this only if you are a young guy.

“I would take you home right now but I live with my mom and she would
get mad at me.”
Note: Say this if you are an older guy.

“I live in a van down by the river and I eat a steady diet of government
cheese.”
Note: Can say this when she asks where you live. Works great if you are dressed really
nice and classy. This is also a Saturday Night Live quote.

Movie References

“Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do
somethin' like this -- and totally redeem yourself!" - Dumb & Dumber
Note: Can say this after she did something silly.

"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listenin'
to her enough, or somethin'. I don't know, I wasn't really payin'
attention." - Dumb & Dumber
Note: Say this if she asks you why you broke up with your girlfriend. If she doesn’t
laugh then you can tease her for not getting the joke.

“You sound like a cross between Fergie and Jesus.” - Step Brothers
Note: Say this if she sings for you.

“I’m kind of a big deal, people know me.” - Anchorman

Note: Fun to say if she asks you, “who do you know at this party?”

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“Please give me back my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and
they break up!" - The Wedding Singer
Note: Great to use during a divorce Role Play.

“I'm glad you are single, because I'm gonna climb that like a tree." -
Bridesmaids
Note: If she doesn’t get the reference just tease her for never seeing the movie.

“I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. And nobody can handle
my stuff. Uh, you know, I'm just a, just a big hairy American winnin'
machine.” - Taladega Nights
Note: Say this whenever it fits the conversation, or not.

Give Her A Nickname

Kitty Muffin
Note: Adorable nickname for an adorable girl.

Boo boo Kitty Fuck

Note: For a girl who has seen the movie Clerks 2.

Sparkle Princess
Note: Girl is wearing glitter.

Smurfette
Note: If she is short and wearing blue.

Firecracker
Note: If she’s redhead or has a spunky attitude.

*These are just examples. Try to come up with your own based on her personality,
mannerisms or style.

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 Fake Palm Read

“This is your lifeline and I can tell what kind of animal you were in a
former life, you were a butterfly.”
Note: Any cute girly animal works, such as hamster, kitty, pony, etc.

“This is your sex line. Wow you are a really passionate lover.”

“This line says you will meet a [Describe Yourself] when you are [Her
Age] and it will change your life. You have to look out for him.”

“You love to give hand jobs (pause) it doesn’t say that, it’s just that your
hand smells kind of funny.”
Note: This works great if she’s a sexual girl.

“You are a little closed off at first, like you have a tough exterior. But
then when you let someone in you are super loyal.”
Note: Any Cold Read can work. See the section on Cold Reading in the Rapport Cheat
Sheet.

Games

Shag, Marry, Kill

“I’m going to pick 3 people in this place. One of them you have to shag, one you have
to marry, and one you have to kill.”
Note: Fun game to slightly sexualize the interaction.

Advanced Version Of Shag, Marry, Kill

When it is her turn to pick people for you, tell her to pick herself. Then “kill” one of the
other options. Then look her in the eyes and ask, “Are you good in bed?”. Let her
answer and then say, “No I bed you are bad in bed. I bet you just lie there like a dead
starfish. That’s so sad. [pause] Okay well I’ve made my decision. You are pretty cute,

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so I would definitely shag [pause] the hell [pause] out of [pause] HER!” And point at
the other girl. Then say, “Well I guess we are getting married...” And go into a
marriage Role Play.

Staring Contest
Note: Great way to go for a kiss or get a free drink.

Thumb War
Note: Fast game that allows for some light touching.

5 Questions Game
You: “Have you ever played 5 Questions?
Her: “No.”
You: “Okay I’m going to ask you 5 questions in a row and all you have to do is get all
of them wrong.”
Her: “Okay sounds easy.”
You: “It is. Here we go. Question number one, what is my name?”
Her: “Oprah.”
You: “Haha okay, what planet are we on?”
Her: “Jupiter.”
You: “Who was the first president of the US?”
Her: “Obama.”
You: “Hmmm…wait…how many questions was that?”
Her: “Nice try, it was 10.”
You: “Oh man! Dammit! Have you played this before??”
Her: “No!”
You: “Got you on the fifth one!”
Note: Works great for getting a free drink.

3, 2, 1, Game
“I’m going to count down from 3 to 1 and when I get to 1 you either have to kiss me
on the lips or slap me on the face ready here we go 3 2 1…”
Note: This is a good game for going for a kiss. Make sure to lean in and go for the kiss
as soon as you start counting down.

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 Role Playing

Marriage
Example: She does something awesome and you say, “You are awesome we are
getting married right now. Where are we going on our honey moon? But we can
only have sex 8 times a day, no more than that because I’m not a piece of meat. I
mean I know I will be your trophy husband and all...”
Note: Great for escalating and going for the kiss because you can have one of your
friends be the minister and tell you to kiss the bride. Also great for painting a picture
of what the wedding and honey moon will be like. Most women have every detail of
their wedding already planned out, so this allows them to express it and associate her
dream wedding with you, thus creating deep rapport.

Having a baby
Note: Great to do after a marriage Role Play.

Robbing a bank
Example: “Let’s go to party city and buy some masks, then steal a car from the
parking lot and drive it to BofA. We’ll then walk into the bank, disable the senior
citizen security guard, without killing him, because underneath this tough exterior I
still have a heart. And then proceed to rob everyone blind and make the old ladies
take off their jewelry. This would be really quick, we’d go in and out really fast, not a
sexual innuendo by the way, before the cops get there. Then we’d get a room at a
cheap motel in the next town over then throw the money in the air and roll around in
it while having crazy sex fueled by the rush of the crimes we just committed.”
Note: This really sexualizes the interaction and she will likely be okay with it because
it isn’t real, it’s just a harmless Role Play.

Over the top romance

Example: “Darling you were away in the bathroom for almost 5 minutes I couldn’t
bear it any longer. Never leave again okay!”
Note: Make sure to do this in a funny English accent so she knows it is a joke.

Getting a divorce

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Example: “That’s it I want a divorce. I want full custody of our little German
Schnauzer, Peanut. He always liked me better anyways. You can keep the DVD
collection they were all a bunch of sappy romance movies that I hated. Plus I cheated
on you with a French chamber maid. You can’t really blame me though because you
slept with the mailman that one time that I was away on business.”
Note: Can do after a marriage role play and you can also do it via text the next day.

Humor/Jokes

Bait & Switch

Example: “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful (long pause) my eyes are?”

Example: “I have to say ‘hi’ to the hottest girls in the entire bar (long pause) so I
decided to come over and warm up with you girls first.”

Example: “I’m just trying to get into your pants (long pause) what size are they?”

Impossibility
Example: “I think I’m pregnant and it’s yours.”

Example: “I think my dog can read minds because the other day I was hungry for
cheese and all of a sudden he went into the refrigerator and ate the entire block of
cheese.”

Exaggeration
Example: After you get her number say, “I will call you 50 times a day.”

Example of Exaggerated Stereotype: If she’s from the south say, “I bet you married
your first cousin and the two of you go cow tipping every Tuesday and then you
drink moon shine before making an appearance at the local hoe down.”

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Example Of Exaggerated Honesty: “Listen we are going to go home together, have
really good sex, but then I’m going to get board of you and start cheating on you
with your best friend...so maybe we should just break up now.”

Obscenity
Note: These can include racial jokes, sexual jokes, anything shocking or outlandish.
Should make her think, “I can’t believe he just said that!” Be careful with these. Watch
standup comedy for examples.

Use Call-Back Humor

Note: Reference a past joke or funny moment. Nicknames can often be used as call
back humor.
Example: You teased her about being a Smurf and then an hour later you say, “come
on Smurfette you are going home with Papa Smurf tonight.”

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