Audition Sides - Buddy, Santa

CHARLIE
I appreciate it. I feel bad for the big guy. I just hope he doesn’t
get wise.

SHAWANDA
Well, if he hasn’t figured out by now that he’s a human I don’t
think he ever will.

BUDDY
Human?!? I’m human?

(Beat.)

CHARLIE
(desperately whispering to ELF #1)
Get Santa!

(ELF #1 runs off to get SANTA.)

BUDDY
You said I’m human!

CHARLIE
No. No.

SHAWANDA
No, not you Buddy. We we’re talking about some other Buddy.
Some Buddy... else.

BUDDY
No you weren’t!

(SANTA arrives, accompanied by a now panicking

ELF #1.)

SANTA
Buddy...

BUDDY
START Santa? Is it true what they said? Am I human?

SANTA
Good question.
(#2 – SIT ON SANTA’S LAP begins. SANTA walks over
to BUDDY.)
Once upon a time there was this young woman, Susan Welles,
she had a baby, but she passed away soon after he was born.
That baby was put in an orphanage, and one Christmas night
he crawled into my toy sack, and I brought him back here by
mistake. The elves took him in, raised him as one of their own.

12
Audition Sides - Buddy, Santa

BUDDY
Really? Where is he? Is it Charlie?

SANTA
Buddy, it’s you! It’s your story!

BUDDY
I’m not an elf; I’m a human. And I’m an orphan. Just like
Annie.

SANTA
Not exactly. You have a human father, but he never knew that
you were born. He lives in a faraway land called New York City.
(SANTA takes out a New York City snow globe and hands
it to BUDDY.)
And he works—
(pointing to the globe)
Right there, in the Empire State Building.

(BUDDY tries to give the snow globe back, but SANTA

stops him.)

SANTA
Keep it. It’s a gift from me.

BUDDY
Thank you, Santa. What’s my dad like?

SANTA
He’s an executive. He publishes children’s books.

BUDDY
Oh!

SANTA
But I should tell you, he, uh... well, he’s on the Naughty List.

BUDDY
No! What did he do? Did he wet the bed?

SANTA
No, he just doesn’t believe in me anymore. He’s lost the
Christmas spirit.

BUDDY
But Christmas spirit is what makes your sleigh fly!

SANTA
I know. Buddy, it’s time you went there to meet him.

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Audition Sides - Buddy, Santa

BUDDY
Okay. Which direction is New York?

SANTA
It’s south. We’re at the North Pole, Buddy; everything is south.

(BUDDY starts to leave.)

BUDDY
Oh, hey, what’s my dad’s name?

SANTA
Hobbs. Walter Hobbs.

BUDDY
Hobbs? Then I must be Buddy Hobbs!

Yay!
(uncertain) END
(#3 – WORLD’S GREATEST DAD begins.)
3 Elf JR.

World's Greatest Dad

WORLD’S GREATEST DAD
SANTA, ELVES: Bye, Buddy. Take care. (etc.)

Lightly sneak in
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deep down I know I should - n't be a - fraid 'cause he's

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