DESCRIPTION ESSAYS (Writing tips)

To write a descriptive essay, youll need to describe a person, object, or event so vividly that the reader feels like he/she could reach out and touch it.

Use all five f ! "r senses to describe the setting, characters, and the plot of your story. Don't be afraid to tell the story in your own voice. Nobody wants to read a story that sounds like a te tbook!

# $ t Write %ivid Descriptions

"aving trouble describing a person, object, or event for your narrative or descriptive essay# Tr! filling "t t&is c&art'

W&at d ! " s(ell)

W&at d ! " taste)

W&at d ! " see)

W&at d ! " &ear)

W&at (ig&t ! " t "c& r feel)

Re(e(*er' Av id si(pl! telling "s $&at s (et&ing l +s li+e,,tell "s & $ it tastes- s(ellss "nds- r feels. $onsider this%

&irginia rain s'ells different fro' a $alifornia dri((le. ) 'ountain bree(e feels different fro' a sea bree(e. *e hear different things in one spot, depending on the ti'e of day. +ou can ,taste- things youve never eaten. how would sunscreen taste#

, C& se vivid lang"age/ *hy use horse when you can choose stallion# *hy not use tempestuous instead of violent# /r why not miserly in place of cheap# 0uch choices for' a fir'er i'age in the 'ind of the reader and often ti'es offer nuanced 'eanings that serve better ones purpose. Str"ct"re 1e'e'ber that it is i'portant to begin your essay on a general level and work your way down to specifics. 0tart by outlining a si'ple five2paragraph essay with three 'ain topics. Then you 'ay e pand on this basic outline. Ne t you will begin to construct a thesis state'ent and a trial topic sentence for each 'ain paragraph.

the thesis sentence should convey your overall i'pression of your subject. Does it 'ake you happy# 3s it attractive or ugly# 3s your object useful#

4ach topic sentence should introduce a new part or stage of your choses topic.

Don't worry, you can change these sentences later. 3t's ti'e to start writing paragraphs! )s you build your paragraphs, you should avoid confusing the reader by bo'barding the' with unfa'iliar infor'ation i''ediately5 you 'ust ease your way into your topic in your introductory paragraph. 6or e a'ple, instead of saying, The farm was where I spent most summers holidays. During the summer we played hide and seek in the cornfields and walked through the cow pastures to pick wild greens for supper. Nana always carried a gun for snakes. 3nstead, give the reader a broad view of your subject and work your way into the details. ) better e a'ple would be. In a small rural town in central Ohio was a farm surrounded by miles of cornfields. In this place, on many warm summer days, my cousins and I would run through the cornfields playing hide and seek or making our own crop circles as clubhouses. My grandparents, whom I called Nana and apa, lived on this farm for many years. The old farmhouse was large and always full of people, and it was surrounded by wild animals. I spent many of my childhood summers and holidays here. It was the family gathering place. )nother si'ple rule of thu'b to re'e'ber is 0s& $ d n1t tell/0 3f you want to describe a feeling or action you should reinvent it through the senses rather than just state it. 6or e a'ple, instead of. I got e!cited every time we pulled into the driveway of my grandparents house. Try to elaborate what was really going on in your head. "fter sitting for several hours in the back seat of the car, I found the slow crawl up the driveway to be absolute torture. I #ust knew Nana was inside waiting with fresh baked pies and treats for me. apa would have some toy or trinket hidden somewhere but he would pretend not to recogni$e me for a few minutes #ust to tease me before he gave it to me. "s my parents would struggle to pry the suitcases out of the trunk, I would bounce all the way up the porch and rattle the door until someone finally let me in. The second version paints a picture and puts the reader in the scene. )nyone can be e cited. *hat your reader needs and wants to know is, what 'akes it e citing# 6inally, don't try to cra' too 'uch into one paragraph. 7se each paragraph to describe a different aspect of your subject. $heck to 'ake sure that your essay flows fro' one paragraph to the ne t with good transition state'ents 8connectors are i'portant too9. The conclusion of your paragraph is where you can tie everything together and restate the thesis of your essay. Take all the details and su''ari(e what they 'ean to you and why it is i'portant.

2ODE3S
4) E5cerpt fr ( 0T&e T $n D"(p0*! Wallace Stegner
*e hunted old bottles in the du'p, bottles caked with dirt and filth, half buried, full of cobwebs, and we washed the' out at the horse trough by the elevator, putting in a handful of shot along with the water to knock the dirt loose5 and when we had shaken the' until our ar's were tired, we hauled the' off in so'ebody's coaster wagon and turned the' in at :ill )nderson's pool hall,

where the s'ell of le'on pop was so sweet on the dark pool2hall air that 3 a' so'eti'es awakened by it in the night, even yet. 0'ashed wheels of wagons and buggies, tangles of rusty barbed wire, the collapsed pera'bulator that the 6rench wife of one of the town's doctors had once pushed proudly up the planked sidewalks and along the ditchbank paths. ) welter of foul2s'elling feathers and coyote2scattered carrion which was all that re'ained of so'ebody's drea' of a chicken ranch. The chickens had all got so'e 'ysterious pip at the sa'e ti'e, and died as one, and the drea' lay out there with the rest of the town's history to rustle to the e'pty sky on the border of the hills.

6) T&e 3a"ndr! R

The windows at either end of the laundry roo' were open, but no bree(e washed through to carry off the stale odors of fabric softener, detergent, and bleach. 3n the s'all ponds of soapy water that stained the concrete floor were stray balls of 'ulticolored lint and fu((. )long the left wall of the roo' stood ten rasping dryers, their round windows offering gli'pses of ju'ping socks, underwear, and fatigues. Down the center of the roo' were a do(en washing 'achines, set back to back in two rows. 0o'e were chugging like stea'boats5 others were whining and whistling and dribbling suds. Two stood forlorn and e'pty, their lids flung open, with crudely drawn signs that said ;:roke!; ) long shelf partially covered in blue paper ran the length of the wall, interrupted only by a locked door. )lone, at the far end of the shelf, sat one e'pty laundry basket and an open bo of Tide. )bove the shelf at the other end was a s'all bulletin board decorated with yellowed business cards and torn slips of paper. scrawled re<uests for rides, reward offers for lost dogs, and phone nu'bers without na'es or e planations. /n and on the 'achines hu''ed and whee(ed, gurgled and gushed, washed, rinsed, and spun.

7) 2a*el1s 3"nc& *! Wrig&t 2 rris

=abel's >unch stood along one wall of a wide roo', once a pool hall, with the e'pty cue racks along the back side. :eneath the racks were wire2back chairs, one of the' piled with 'aga(ines, and between every third or fourth chair a brass spittoon. Near the center of the roo', revolving slowly as if the idle air was water, a large propeller fan suspended fro' the pressed tin ceiling. 3t 'ade a hu''ing sound, like a telephone pole, or an idle, throbbing loco'otive, and although the switch cord vibrated it was cluttered with flies. )t the back of the roo', on the lunch side, an oblong s<uare was cut in the wall and a large wo'an with a soft, round face peered through at us. )fter wiping her hands, she placed her heavy ar's, as if they tired her, on the shelf.

8) S"*$a! Stati n *! 9il*ert #ig&et

0tanding in the subway station, 3 began to appreciate the place22al'ost to enjoy it. 6irst of all, 3 looked at the lighting. a row of 'eager light bulbs, unscreened, yellow, and coated with filth, stretched toward the black 'outh of the tunnel, as though it were a bolt hole in an abandoned coal 'ine. Then 3 lingered, with (est, on the walls and ceilings. lavatory tiles which had been white about fifty years ago, and were now encrusted with soot, coated with the re'ains of a dirty li<uid which 'ight be either at'ospheric hu'idity 'ingled with s'og or the result of a perfunctory atte'pt to clean the' with cold water5 and, above the', gloo'y vaulting fro' which dingy paint was peeling off like scabs fro' an old wound, sick black paint leaving a leprous white undersurface. :eneath 'y feet, the floor a nauseating dark brown with black stains upon it which 'ight be stale oil or dry chewing gu' or so'e worse defile'ent. it looked like the hallway of a conde'ned slu' building. Then 'y eye traveled to the tracks, where two lines of glittering steel22 the only positively clean objects in the whole place22ran out of darkness into darkness above an unspeakable 'ass of congealed oil, puddles of dubious li<uid, and a 'ish'ash of old cigarette packets, 'utilated and filthy newspapers, and the debris that filtered down fro' the street above through a barred grating in the roof.

:) T&e ;itc&en *! Alfred ;a<in

The kitchen held our lives together. =y 'other worked in it all day long, we ate in it al'ost all 'eals e cept the ?assover seder, 3 did 'y ho'ework and first writing at the kitchen table, and in winter 3 often had a bed 'ade up for 'e on three kitchen chairs near the stove. /n the wall just over the table hung a long hori(ontal 'irror that sloped to a ship's prow at each end and was lined in cherry wood. 3t took up the whole wall, and drew every object in the kitchen to itself. The walls were a fiercely stippled whitewash, so often rewhitened by 'y father in slack seasons that the paint looked as if it had been s<uee(ed and cracked into the walls. ) large electric bulb hung down the center of the kitchen at the end of a chain that had been hooked into the ceiling5 the old gas ring and key still jutted out of the wall like antlers. 3n the corner ne t to the toilet was the sink at which we washed, and the s<uare tub in which 'y 'other did our clothes. )bove it, tacked to the shelf on which were pleasantly ranged s<uare, blue2bordered white sugar and spice jars, hung calendars fro' the ?ublic National :ank on ?itkin )venue and the =insker ?rogressive :ranch of the *ork'en's $ircle5 receipts for the pay'ent of insurance pre'iu's, and household bills on a spindle5 two little bo es engraved with "ebrew letters. /ne of these was for the poor, the other to buy back the >and of 3srael. 4ach spring a bearded little 'an would suddenly appear in our kitchen, salute us with a hurried "ebrew blessing, e'pty the bo es 8so'eti'es with a sidelong look of disdain if they were not full9, hurriedly bless us again for re'e'bering our less fortunate @ewish brothers and sisters, and so take his departure until the ne t spring, after vainly trying to persuade 'y 'other to take still another bo . *e did occasionally re'e'ber to drop coins in the bo es, but this was usually only on the dreaded 'orning of ;'idter's; and final e a'inations, because 'y 'other thought it would bring 'e luck.

=) T&e >l nd 9"itar *! ?ere(! >"rden

=y 'ost valuable possession is an old, slightly warped blond guitar22the first instru'ent 3 taught 'yself how to play. 3t's nothing fancy, just a =adeira folk guitar, all scuffed and scratched and finger2printed. )t the top is a bra'ble of copper2wound strings, each one hooked through the eye of a silver tuning key. The strings are stretched down a long, sli' neck, its frets tarnished, the wood worn by years of fingers pressing chords and picking notes. The body of the =adeira is shaped like an enor'ous yellow pear, one that was slightly da'aged in shipping. The blond wood has been chipped and gouged to gray, particularly where the pick guard fell off years ago. No, it's not a beautiful instru'ent, but it still lets 'e 'ake 'usic, and for that 3 will always treasure it.

@) 9reg r! *! >ar*ara Carter

Aregory is 'y beautiful gray ?ersian cat. "e walks with pride and grace, perfor'ing a dance of disdain as he slowly lifts and lowers each paw with the delicacy of a ballet dancer. "is pride, however, does not e tend to his appearance, for he spends 'ost of his ti'e indoors watching television and growing fat. "e enjoys T& co''ercials, especially those for =eow =i and B >ives. "is fa'iliarity with cat food co''ercials has led hi' to reject generic brands of cat food in favor of only the 'ost e pensive brands. Aregory is as finicky about visitors as he is about what he eats, befriending so'e and repelling others. "e 'ay snuggle up against your ankle, begging to be petted, or he 'ay i'itate a skunk and stain your favorite trousers. Aregory does not do this to establish his territory, as 'any cat e perts think, but to hu'iliate 'e because he is jealous of 'y friends. )fter 'y guests have fled, 3 look at the old fleabag snoo(ing and s'iling to hi'self in front of the television set, and 3 have to forgive hi' for his obno ious, but endearing, habits.

Descriptive Essa! , At t&e >eac&

4veryone has a place where they go to escape all the pressures and worries of life. There is always that one spot that can soothe all your proble's and troubles in ti'es of stress. 6or 'e, the beach is the ulti'ate cure to all of 'y proble's. *hile 3 a' there, all of 'y obligations are suddenly erased.

)s 3 stroll along 3 can feel the soft s'ooth sand beneath 'y feet. 3 a' taken in by the soothing at'osphere that surrounds 'e. 3 let 'yself absorb the intense rays of the sun on a scorching su''er day. 3 a' cal'ed by the sounds of the ocean5 the regular pounding of the waves restrain all of 'y worries. )s 3 sit in 'y chair 3 can see all the sights of su''er5 children building sand castles along the ocean's edge, to 'y right 3 observe an elderly couple enjoying a good book. 3 a' soon at the point where 'y skin can no longer take the harsh rays of the blistering su''er sun. 3 run as fast as 'y feet can carry 'e toward what 'y body sees as heaven, an endless TAS;'Descri*e a place- real r i(aginar!- t&at gives ! " peace and $&ere ! " feel in t "c& $it& ! "r inner self/ Use vivid details t &elp t&e reader vis"ali<e t&e place and "nderstand ! "r c& ice.

Paragrap& Unit!
The following paragraph, which has also been adapted fro' The Names% " Memoir, by N. 0cott =o'aday, describes the very end of the busy day before the 6east of 0an Diego. )gain, we have added a sentence that's not directly connected to the author's 'ain idea. 0ee if you can identify this sentence, which upsets the unity of the paragraph. &ater in the dusky streets I walked among the Nava#o camps, past the doorways of the town, from which came the good smells of cooking, the festive sounds of music, laughter, and talk. The campfires rippled in the crisp wind that arose with evening and set a soft yellow glow on the ground, low on the adobe walls. " natural building material used for several thousand years, adobe is composed of sand and straw, which is shaped into bricks on wooden frames and dried in the sun. Mutton si$$led and smoked above the fires' fat dripped into the flames' there were great black pots of strong coffee and buckets full of fried bread' dogs crouched on the rim of the light, the many circles of light' and old men sat hunched in their blankets on the ground, in the cold shadows, smoking. . . . &ong into the night the fires cast a glare over the town, and I could hear the singing, until it seemed that one by one the voices fell away, and one remained, and then there was none. On the very edge of sleep I heard coyotes in the hills. ) key <uality of an effective paragraph is "nit!. ) unified paragraph sticks to one topic fro' start to finish, with every sentence contributing to the central purpose and 'ain idea of that paragraph. :ut a strong paragraph is 'ore than just a collection of loose sentences. Those sentences need to be clearly connected so that readers can follow along, recogni(ing how one detail leads to the ne t. ) paragraph with clearly connected sentences is said to be c &esive. The following paragraph is unified and cohesive. Notice how the underlined words and phrases 8called transitions or connectors9 guide us along, helping us see how one detail leads to the ne t.

W&! I D n1t 2a+e 2! >ed

Ever since I moved into my own apartment last fall, I have gotten out of the habit of making my bed--except on Fridays, of course, when I change the sheets. lthough some people may think that I am a slob, I have some sound reasons for breaking the bed-making habit. In the first place, I am not concerned about maintaining a tidy bedroom because no one except me ever ventures in there. If there is ever a fire inspection or a surprise date, I suppose I can dash in there to fluff up the pillow and slap on a spread. !therwise, I am not bothered. In addition, I find nothing uncomfortable about crawling into a rumpled mass of sheets and blankets. !n the contrary, I en"oy poking out a co#y space for myself before drifting off to sleep. lso, I think that a tightly made bed is downright uncomfortable$ entering one makes me feel like a loaf of bread being wrapped and sealed. Finally, and most importantly, I think bed-making is an awful way to waste

time in the morning. I would rather spend those precious minutes checking my email or feeding the cat than tucking in corners or snapping the spread. Transitional words and phrases guide readers fro' one sentence to the ne t. )lthough they 'ost often appear at the beginning of a sentence, they 'ay also show up after the subject. "ere are the co''on transitional e pressions, grouped according to the type of relationship shown by each.

4/ Additi n Transiti ns
and also besides first, second, third in addition in the first place, in the second place, in the third place further'ore 'oreover to begin with, ne t, finally E5a(ple In the first place, no ;burning; in the sense of co'bustion, as in the burning of wood, occurs in a volcano5 moreover, volcanoes are not necessarily 'ountains5 furthermore, the activity takes place not always at the su''it but 'ore co''only on the sides or flanks5 and finally, the ;s'oke; is not s'oke but condensed stea'. 86red :ullard, (olcanoes in )istory9

6/ Ca"se,Effect Transiti ns
accordingly and so as a result conse<uently for this reason hence so then therefore thus E5a(ple The ideologue is often brilliant. *onse+uently so'e of us distrust brilliance when we should distrust the ideologue. 8$lifton 6adi'an9

7/ C (paris n Transiti ns
by the sa'e token in like 'anner in the sa'e way in si'ilar fashion likewise si'ilarly

E5a(ple *hen you start with a portrait and search for a pure for', a clear volu'e, through successive eli'inations, you arrive inevitably at the egg. &ikewise, starting with the egg and following the sa'e process in reverse, one finishes with the portrait. 8?ablo ?icasso9

8/ C ntrast Transiti ns
but however in contrast instead nevertheless on the contrary on the other hand still yet E5a(ple 4very )'erican, to the last 'an, lays clai' to a ,sense- of hu'or and guards it as his 'ost significant spiritual trait, yet rejects hu'or as a conta'inating ele'ent wherever found. )'erica is a nation of co'ics and co'edians5 nevertheless, hu'or has no stature and is accepted only after the death of the perpetrator. 84. :. *hite9

:/ C ncl"si n and S"((ar! Transiti ns

and so after all at last finally in brief in closing in conclusion on the whole to conclude to su''ari(e E5a(ple 1eporters are not paid to operate in retrospect. :ecause when news begins to solidify into current events and finally harden into history, it is the stories we didnt write, the <uestions we didnt ask that prove far, far 'ore da'aging than the ones we did. 8)nna Cuindlen9

=/ E5a(ple Transiti ns
as an e a'ple for e a'ple for instance specifically thus to illustrate

E5a(ple *ith all the ingenuity involved in hiding delicacies on the body, this process auto'atically e cludes certain foods. ,or e!ample, a turkey sandwich is welco'e, but the cu'berso'e cantaloupe is not. 80teve =artin, ;"ow to 6old 0oup;9

@/ Insistence Transiti ns
in fact indeed no yes E5a(ple The joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially when you get rid of so'ething you dont want. 86rank :utler, -oing My .ay9

A/ Place Transiti ns
above alongside beneath beyond farther along in back in front nearby on top of to the left to the right under upon E5a(ple *hat did it 'atter where you lay once you were dead# 3n a dirty su'p or in a 'arble tower on top of a high hill# +ou were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that. 81ay'ond $handler, The /ig 0leep9

B/ Restate(ent Transiti ns
in other words in short in si'pler ter's that is to put it differently to repeat E5a(ple )nthropologist Aeoffrey Aorer studied the few peaceful hu'an tribes and discovered one co''on characteristic. se roles were not polari(ed. Differences of dress and occupation were at a 'ini'u'. 0ociety in other words, was not using se ual black'ail as a way of

getting wo'en to do cheap labor, or 'en to be aggressive. 8Aloria 0teine', ;*hat 3t *ould :e >ike 3f *o'en *in;9

4C/ Ti(e Transiti ns

afterward at the sa'e ti'e currently earlier for'erly i''ediately in the future in the 'eanti'e in the past later 'eanwhile previously si'ultaneously subse<uently then until now E5a(ple )t first a toy, then a 'ode of transportation for the rich, the auto'obile was designed as 'an's 'echanical servant. &ater it beca'e part of the pattern of living.