PERSONAL

DEVELOPMENT
(Articles)

Self-love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with
yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation.
To love yourself is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving
others. The Golden Rule tells us to "love your neighbor as you love yourself". You are likely to have
heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer
though, and you will find that at its very center is the command to love yourself.
 The Mistaken Identity of Self Love: First, let us dispel some myths about what it means to
love yourself. Self-love is not about being arrogant or egotistical. It is not about comparing yourself to
others to determine if you are good enough. It is not about always putting yourself first at the expense
of others. It is not about always getting your way. It is not about always winning. It is not about "only
looking after number one".
Will the Real Self Love Please Stand Up? To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of
your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are - the "light" parts and the "dark", the "good" and the
"bad" - while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to
be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your
values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by
showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your
mind, your body and your spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what
you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your
birthright no matter what.
What Do You Most Need to Hear? Take a moment to think of those things you most need
to hear from others. Whether it be that they love you, admire you, accept you just as you are,
appreciate you, forgive you or anything else. Take a piece of paper and write them down. Make sure
to exhaust your list. You will find that what you most want to hear from others is what you most need
to tell yourself. You should now have a list of positive affirmations tailor made for you. Repeat them
every day, morning and night and include them in your creative visualization sessions. You will soon
enjoy a sense of self love and inner peace that you never had before.
You Can Only Give That Which You Have: It is an obvious statement that you cannot give
something that you do not possess, yet so many people desperately love others without having or
giving love to themselves. It is little wonder that in time their reserves of love are exhausted and their
relationships falter. To give love, you must first have love. To have love, love yourself. Only then will
you be able to truly love others for the pure joy of loving them. Give the love you wish to experience
to yourself and you will find all your relationships transforming in miraculous ways.
There is a Single Source of All Love: There is a single, intelligent Consciousness that
pervades the entire Universe - all knowing, all powerful, all loving, all creative and present
everywhere at the same time. Through all of history this Single Consciousness has been revered by
many names. God, the All, Brahman, the Universal Mind, to name but a few. It is the Source of All
Love. It is Love. When you know and understand the truth that you are one with the One Source of
All Love - that your very essence is love - then you will have discovered unconditional love for
yourself and unlimited reserves for everyone and everything. You will know that to love yourself is to
love the One Creator.
The Benefits of Self Love: Loving yourself is a win-win for all. It provides you with an inner
happiness, confidence and peace of mind that is not easily swayed by outside events and opinions. It
enables you to make healthier choices and the best decisions across all areas of your life from your
intimate relationships to your finances. It allows you to truly rejoice in other people's good fortune
rather than wondering "why, not me" or even resenting it. It enables you to be more genuinely loving
towards others and to be of greater service to the world at large. Ultimately, the more you love
yourself, the more everything and everyone you encounter benefits.
"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and
affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as
anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Siddhartha Gautama Buddha.
From: http://www.mind-your-reality.com/self_love.html#
Reflection:
For me, self-love is the greatest gift a person can give and offer to him/herself. Mostly, most
of us rely on the love others’ can give or the love we can offer to them to the point that we forget to
love ourselves too. But I believe that you cannot love others fully if you do not know how to love
yourself. To have love is to be love, for you cannot give something you do not have in the first place.
Self-love is neither about being self-centered nor being prideful or egoistic. It is about
knowing your worth and not letting your environment affect your self-esteem. Loving yourself is next
to acceptance, accepting your flaws and weaknesses. It can develop a sense of contentment or wanting
to be better. Self-love is a reflection of how you wanted to be love by showing people how you treat
yourself. If you display respect, they will respect you too.
Self-love is very important for we cannot find anyone or anything in this world that can
provide the same love that we can give to ourselves.

Affirmations and Self-Talk

By Remez Sasson
Repeating positive statements or declarations, also called affirmations, is a self-talk technique
for changing your attitude and developing positive habits.
It is an effective technique for self-improvement, and for improving your life, because it
imprints your intentions and desires on your subconscious mind.
These self-talk methods works, because the subconscious mind accepts often-repeated
thoughts, statements and commands. The subconscious mind does not make distinctions between
negative and positive self-talk, and treats them both in the same way. This means that you have to be
careful to choose only positive affirmations
Pay attention to what is going in your mind, and you will discover that your mind is a
constant state of thinking. There is a constant self-talk activity going on. You can use this self-talk to
your advantage, when you know how.
 Constant repetition is the secret key. Repeating positive words and statements, instead of
occupying the mind with useless or negative thinking is the key to its correct use.
Repeating affirmations is a powerful mental programming technique, which is not appreciated
enough and is not well understood. There is a lot of information available on this subject nowadays,
but few really know how to use it correctly, and fewer even try. To some, it seems just as a useless
and impractical theory, but when well understood, it puts a wonderful and powerful tool in your
hands.
To affirm means to "make firm", which means making your desired desire or goal firm or
real. It is a process of making positive statements about your goal. A statement that is often repeated,
affects the subconscious mind, which then uses it enormous power to find ways to make it come true.
You reap whatever your conscious mind sows into your subconscious mind. Your often
repeated thoughts and words shape your character and your life, according to whether they are
constructive or destructive.
Give this method a try. You have nothing to lose, but only to gain. Try repeating affirmation
for a few weeks and see the results.

Guidelines for repeating affirmations - positive self-talk

1. Always phrase your affirmations in the present tense. You want to achieve your goal now, not in
some indefinable future. For example, if your goal is to find a job, don't say, "I will have a job", using
the future tense. Say, "I have a well-paying and wonderful job, which I love and enjoy".
2. Use only positive and constructive words, describing what you really want to attain or achieve.
3. Be specific. Tell your mind exactly what it is that you want.

4. It is advisable to keep the affirmations short and easy to remember.

5. You should also include feelings and strong desire. You should feel and believe that what you are
saying is already true. Feelings and emotions give life to your words.
6. You may repeat affirmations at any time you want or at special set times during the day.
Immediately after waking up and before falling asleep are two very appropriate times, as at these
times it is easier to get to the subconscious mind.
7. You may repeat affirmations aloud, mentally or by writing them down.
These are just basic instructions, but this self-talk method will surely bring you results, if you follow
the instructions.
From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/affirmations_self_talk.htm

Reflection
As for me, affirmations are one of the best ways to live a healthy and happy life. As an
individual, I do affirmations and it is really effective if I want something positive to happen. I believe
that if we constantly repeat and continuously believe about something, we can really attract it to
happen. It is just the same as thinking of negative thoughts and downing ourselves, it was the
negativity that we attract. But having just a simple daily affirmation or mantra can do an impressive
effect on our lives. It could help us in achieving our goals, as those can serve us our inspiration are
motivation to strive more. Projecting and believing these can lead to successful life. To add to this,
affirmation can be a daily reminder. Frequently reminding yourself positive things can further develop
your esteem or your self-worth. With these, everyone can focus on the things they want and hope to
happen.

The Mental Noise and How to Overcome It

By Remez Sasson
Mental noise is the constant chatter of the mind that never stops. It is the inner conversation
or inner monologue that goes on constantly in the mind.
It is possible that you are not always unaware of this mental noise, because it has become a
deeply embedded habit, and is considered as a natural and inseparable part of life.
This mental noise is like a background noise that never ceases, from the moment of waking
up in the morning, to the moment of falling asleep at night. Often, it even prevents you from falling
asleep. It is a sort of inner voice that constantly analyzes everything about your life, circumstances,
and the people you meet. It is a voice in the head that just keeps talking and talking!
The mind also repeats the same thoughts over and over again, like in a loop, like a record that
got stuck. If these are a positive thought that's fine. However, too often, these are negative thoughts
that intensify stress, worry, anger or frustration. These are thoughts that you absolutely do not need.
Thinking is a useful activity required for solving problems, analyzing, comparing, studying,
planning, etc, but too often, the mind roams where it wills, occupying the attention with trivial matters
and unimportant, useless thinking that wastes your time and energy.

What is the mental noise and how to identify it:

 1. Thoughts that repeat themselves like a tape that keeps playing the same tune.
2. Reliving negative past situations or visualizing fears over and over again.
3. Dwelling on the past or fearing the future. This prevents us from enjoying the present.
The past is gone, and the future is the product of our present thinking and actions.
The only time that exists is now, the present moment.
4. Compulsive inner monologue that disturbs our peace and makes the mind busy.
5. Never being here. Always thinking on something else, instead of what we are doing
now. If we always think on something else we never enjoy the moment.
6. Constant analysis of our and other people's situations, reactions and behavior.
Analyzing the past, the future, things we need or want to do, our day, yesterday and
the distant past.
7. Almost all involuntary thinking and daydreaming are some sort of mental noise. This
is often a constant background noise, which often intrudes into foreground in the
middle of everything we do.
8. Too often, this is tiring and exhausting, and makes us impractical and lazy. This
constant mental chatter also makes us miss opportunities, due to insufficient attention
to what is happening around us.
9. The mind is a useful tool, but it also needs to be controlled. Wouldn't it be great if
you could achieve a state where you can think when you need to, like solving a
problem or making a plan, and then after that just switch off the mind?

From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/mental-noise.htm

Reflection
Mental noise is something that all of us are experiencing, sometimes, we were not just aware
of. I think mental noise has been a normal habit for all of us. It was like our inner voice telling us
negative things that affects our moods, feelings, thoughts and behavior. I think mental noise is
somewhat the same as overthinking. Just like mental noise, overthinking is thoughts that make us feel
sad, frustrated, anxious etc. And both must be handled appropriately to avoid more serious problems.
First, we must know how to tone down the voice inside our heads. It can be by simply
avoiding the act of thinking negative thoughts. Mask those thoughts with positive ones, such happy
memories or experiences. We can think or divert our mind in thinking of something else. Do things
that can make your time worth and busy.
We always have the choice to either be negative or positive, and if I were to choose of course
I would pick the one that will make my mind at peace.
 What is Anger and How to Overcome It
By Remez Sasson
Anger comes out as a response to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness, which
usually arise, when we dislike a person, an object or a situation.
It usually appears when we are unable to fulfill our wishes and desires, or when we are forced to do
something we dislike doing or we would rather avoid. In such situations, the mind reacts by feeling
unhappy and stressed, which leads to anger.
Day-to-day life confronts us with many situations, which can produce anger:
1. Your partner, children or friends, often, say or do things that you don't like.
2. You want to make yourself a cup of coffee, but discover that you run out of coffee.
3. You arrive late to the station, and find that the bus or train has already left.
4. You might need to talk to someone, whom you don't like.
5. Your plans might not turn out as you wish they would.

All these, and other similar situations, can cause anger. The question is, do you have to react
automatically or can you change your reaction and avoid anger? The truth is that you can learn to
react differently
Anger is a most negative reaction, and should be avoided as much as possible, if you wish to progress
on the path of self-improvement. You cannot avoid all the situations that cause anger, however, with
some training, you can learn to change your reactions and attitude. You can teach yourself not to get
angry.
You need to be aware of the situations that could lead to anger, and be alert enough when you
experience them.
You can overcome anger, but this requires some inner work. You don't have to react automatically,
you can learn to act consciously and control your reactions.
8 Simple Tips to Overcome Anger
1. When you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, stop what you are doing and visualize some
pleasant mental scene from the past. Think of something that made you happy.
2. When you feel that you are getting angry, breathe a few deep breaths. This will delay the
anger and calm you down.
3. Count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.
4. During your spare time, think about what anger leads to, and how worthwhile it is to avoid it.
5. When feeling angry, drink some water. This has a calming effect on the body, emotions and
the mind.
6. Strive to be patient in your day-to-day life. As you become more patient, you will be slower
to anger
7. One of the best remedies to anger is emotional detachment. When you are emotionally
detached you cannot get angry.
8. Another way to avoid anger is to develop the habit of peace of mind. This orequires some
training, but is most worthwhile skill.
From : https://www.successconsciousness.com/overcoming_anger.htm
Reflection
Anger is one of the most unwanted feelings of people, especially me. Anger can result to any
negative things like harming others and also, yourself. People tend to be impulsive when they are
angry that make them do and say such things that they might regret in the end. So it is better if we
learn how to manage, control and overcome it. There are lots of ways or tips that can make us
overcome our anger and I think one of the best is, being silent. As for me if I am agitated about
something or someone I take my time to inhale, exhale. Also, clearing your mind and thinking deeply
first before doing or saying something can lessen the possibility of hurting others. Putting space or
getting away from it for a moment could also help.
Anger will not take us to anything good. So it is better if we practice ways that can make us
more patient.

Simple Technique for Self Growth and Self Improvement

By Remez Sasson
 Nowadays, there is a growing interest in self-growth and self-improvement techniques. There
is a growing number of books, articles and websites dealing with these topics.
It seems that people are turning within them, to find the solution to their problems. They seek
knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures, and teachers, who can show them the way.
People are beginning to understand that self-improvement and self-growth can improve the
quality of their lives.
The process of inner change requires inner work.
It is not enough to read articles and books. You also have to practice what you read. Inner
change requires motivation, desire, ambition, perseverance and dedication.
When you starting with a self- improvement program, it is common to encounter inner
resistance that comes from your old habits and from your subconscious mind, and also resistance and
opposition from the people around you.
The desire to change, build new habits and improve oneself must be strong enough to resist
laziness, the desire to give up, and the fear and ridicule of opposition from family, friends or
colleagues.

A Simple Self Improvement Technique

Let me tell you something about myself. I have been attracted to self-improvement from an
early age, and have regarded it as a source of inner strength and happiness, and a way to a improve
my life.
One of the most useful techniques I discovered, was a simple, but very effective technique. It
consisted of watching how people behaved and acted in various situations, and then looking inside
myself, to find out if I behaved in the same way under the same conditions.
When I saw people with certain traits of character, or a certain kind of behavior that I did not
like, I examined myself to see whether I possessed them too. If I did, I visualized and rehearsed in my
mind a different sort of behavior. In my mind's eye, I saw myself with the opposite traits of character.
I visualized myself in various situations, in which I manifested the new behavior.
When I encountered traits of character or behavior, which I liked, I used to think about their
advantages and benefits, and about their importance in my life. Here too, I used visualization and
affirmations, and endeavored to enact them in my daily life.
In this way, I learned and benefited a lot from the behavior and actions of the people around
me, at work, at home, on the street, and everywhere else. It was never for the purpose of judging them
or taking advantage of them, but for learning how to act, react and behave in a better way.
This process had another benefit. It increased the knowledge and understanding about how
the mind and thoughts influence the behavior and actions of people.
From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/self-improvement.htm

Reflection
All of us want to develop more, grow and improve but there are certain things that
sometimes hinder those. One of those things is changes. We are afraid to go beyond what is common
or normal for us and that fear, limits us in growing and improving more. As what stated in the article,
if we want to develop we must build new habit, resist laziness, the desire to give up, and the fear and
ridicule of opposition from family, friends or colleagues.
There are lots of techniques we can use in improving ourselves. Two of those are self-
evaluation and others evaluation. In order to improve ourselves we must know and be aware of our
present attitude and people surrounding us can provide that information. By simply observing people,
assessing the good and bad characteristic they have then assessing yourself you can improve. If you
saw something that you do not like and you have assessed that you also have ‘that ’certain
characteristic, you can choose to change that. Also, if you have admired the good characteristics that
they have you can also choose to possess that. We can always choose to improve or not, but why not
choose something that we can benefit from?
 Simple Steps to Unleash Your True Authentic Self
by Marion Selista
In the world, today, finding people who are not afraid to unapologetically be their authentic
self has become as rare as being able to find a needle in the proverbial haystack. Everyone wants to be
like everyone else, not realizing that everybody is unique in their own way and they all have different
things to offer to the world.
Being your true self is the only way to lead a happy and contented life. Keep reading to find
out ways you can unleash your true authentic self and thus find life’s treasure.
1. Hello! This is you
The first step in unleashing your true self is discovering who you are, and not just, who you want to
be. Take the time to be quiet and evaluate yourself. Identify both your strengths and weaknesses to
know yourself better. Know what you are passionate about and what makes you happy. Ask yourself
questions that broaden your way of thinking and allow you to get a deeper connection with your true
self.
2. Reframing your life
A lot of expectations are placed on you by society. Don’t follow what is expected but instead, create
your own rules. Focus more on self-care and things that bring out the best version of you. For
instance, are you taking nutritious foods? Did you remember to exercise today?
3. Follow your bliss
Today it is challenging for you to be your authentic self, because you always find yourself trying to do
things that please others. You are also looking for approval from others all the time. To become the
real you, do the things that you enjoy doing and are passionate about. Follow your happiness, and you
will unleash the real you.
4. Find your purpose
Going through life, every once in a while you will find yourself complaining about things that aren’t
going the way you want them to. However, if you only complain and don’t do anything to change
your situation, you might end up getting frustrated and even losing your way.
Stop whining and think about the reason you do what you do and set meaningful goals. Deep meaning
goals are almost impossible to accomplish and drive your other smaller goals. Do not set only a short-
term objective that once achieved might leave you stranded with no idea what to do next. Pursuing
meaningful goals keeps you motivated throughout your life and keep you focused on meeting them.
5. Show the world the real you
If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Life is too short to be spent being someone other than
you. Be yourself and you will become a happier person. Don’t live up to the expectations of other
people but instead live by your beliefs. If people don’t like you the way you are, then that’s their
problem, not yours.
6. Meditate
Meditating is the simplest way to unleash your true self. Meditation pulls you deep into yourself,
taking you to a peaceful place, far from reality and space. It unlocks your authentic self and makes
you act accordingly. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing
stress and tension.
7. Enjoy your journey
Most people spend a lot of time obsessing about the past and future forgetting to live in the present.
Be present, and you will enjoy the beauty of life and become more connected with your real self.
8. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is a strong emotion that can cause a significant change in your life. Being a grateful person
has numerous benefits. Gratitude makes your life a lot easier and better. Get a gratitude journal where
you will record what you are grateful for.
9. Become Your Best Self
How do you become the best you can be? That ‘you’ that is always happy with the way life is. The
‘you’ that finds joy even in the smallest things.
From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/blog/personal-development/unleash-your-true-
authentic-self/

Reflection
I believe that all of us have different talents, gifts, strengths or even weaknesses that God
given. We are all, authentic and uniquely made but sometimes covered because of fear of judgments.
When everyone wants to be someone else in this world, it is important that you show the real you.
Unleashing the real you may take courage, wherein you need the guts to not follow the society
dictates you to be. Be at and be who your heart tells you to be. Do not let your mind confuse yourself
and be not clear on the purpose you wish to acquire. Show the world that you are great for you choose
and dare to be different by being you. Life is too short and time does not work based on what we want
so enjoy the moments that was given to you. Be grateful about things that you have and use it to
further develop yourself. Lastly, be the best version of yourself, the best that can make you happy and
contented.
 The Key to Success: Positive Thinking and Action
By Remez Sasson
Did you know that one of the most important keys to success is positive thinking?
With this key, it is easier to achieve success, improve relationships, have better health, and
enjoy happiness, satisfaction and inner peace. This key, also helps in the daily affairs of life, making
everything flow more smoothly, and with less friction. A positive attitude makes life look brighter and
promising.
This key also requires that you take positive action, since results require both positive
thinking and positive action.
Positive thinking is contagious. People around you pick your mental moods and are affected
accordingly. Think about happiness, good health and success, and you will cause people to like you
and desire to help you, because they enjoy the vibrations that a positive mind emits.
In order to make positive thinking yield results, you need to develop a positive attitude toward
life, expect a successful outcome of whatever you do, but also take any necessary actions to ensure
your success.
Effective positive thinking that brings results is much more than just repeating a few positive
words, or telling yourself that everything is going to be all right. It has to be your predominant mental
attitude. It is not enough to think positively for a few moments, and then letting fears and lack of
belief enter your mind. Some effort and inner work are necessary.
Are you willing to make a real inner change?
Are you willing to change the way you think?
Are you willing to develop a mental power that can positively affect you, your environment and the
people around you?
Take action and follow the tips below.

Your Key to Success Tips

 Use only positive words while thinking and while talking. Use words such as, 'I can', 'I am
able', 'it is possible', 'it can be done', etc.
 Allow only feelings of happiness, strength and success into your awareness.
 Disregard and ignore negative thoughts. Refuse to think such thoughts, by substituting them
with constructive, happy thoughts. Every time a negative thought finds its way into your
mind, immediately replace it with a positive thought.
 In your conversation, use words that bring forth feelings and mental images of strength,
happiness and success.
 Before starting with any plan or action, visualize clearly in your mind its successful outcome.
If you visualize with concentration and conviction, you will be amazed at the results.
 Read at least one page of inspiring book every day.
 Watch movies that make you feel happy.
 Minimize the time you listen to the news and read the newspapers.
 Associate yourself with people who think positively.
  Always sit and walk with your back straight. This will strengthen your confidence and inner
strength.
 Walk, swim or engage in some other physical activity. This helps to develop a more positive
attitude.
Think positive and expect only favorable results and situations, even if your current circumstances
are not as you wish them to be. In time, your mental attitude will affect your external life and
circumstances, and change them accordingly.
From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/steps-to-achieve-goals.htm

Reflection
I believe that ‘it’s all in the mind’, what we think is actually what will happen. Simple as,
positive thinking results to positive things.
Positive thinking is the key to our success. If we think positive that we can achieve
something, that would more likely to happen. If we are positive, we have the pleasant vibe or aura that
can also attract positivity, just like how negativity works.
There are lots of ways how positive thinking works. First, we can use affirmations or positive
statements that would constantly remind our purpose and competency. We must not let negativity
distract us and hinders us in accomplishing our goals. Associate with people who are positive too.
You might encounter difficulties and we must not let those affect our esteem and self-worth. Believe
that you can do it and if not, something better is coming up for you. Just keep on thinking positive
things because it is the key to live a successful and fulfilling life.
 10 Steps to Achieve Goals
By Remez Sasson
I want to share with you a few essential steps for achieving goals. Instead of writing lengthy
explanations, I decided to write something short, and therefore, easier to remember and implement.
It would be a good idea to print this article and put it where you can see it often.
Steps to Achieve Goals
1) Be specific about what you want to achieve
Most people don't know what they want to do with their life, and even after thinking hard, they don't
come up with something they really want to do. This is one of the main reasons why most people live
an average life, even though there are many books and workshops on success available today.
2) Draw up a plan of action
Devote as much time as you need to find a goal or goals, even minor goals are okay. Not everyone
really desires great success and is willing to completely change his/her life. Not everyone desires to be
a millionaire, or possesses the talent to make money.
After finding a goal that you really desire to achieve, draw up a plan, being as practical as possible.
3) Make a list of steps
List the steps you need to take, such as signing up for a course, studying, reading, developing the
required skills, looking for a job, etc, and other steps you need to implement that will take you closer
to achieving your goal.
4) Act, do not be passive
Take action and follow the steps on your list. Don't just wait for things to happen.
5) Read and listen to advice
Read books or articles about what you want to achieve. Meet people who can help you and listen to
their advice, but use your common sense and reason before accepting anything.
6) Alternative plans
If a certain plan doesn't work, look for an alternative one.
7) Examine your goals periodically
Some goals aren't worth achieving. Circumstances and people change. Some goals lose their
importance. It is a good idea to re-examine your goals regularly and weed out the worthless ones.
8) Repeat affirmations
Affirm with faith and feelings that your goal has already been achieved. If you don't undo your
affirmations with doubts and lack of belief, they will be accepted by your subconscious mind, which
will then provide you with more desire and motivation.
9) Visualize your goal
Visualization will also affect your subconscious mind, which will keep you motivated, focused on
your goal, and more aware of ideas and opportunities.
10) Take action
Don't just affirm and visualize and do nothing. Take any action required to bring your goal into
fruition. Follow your intuition, new ideas and opportunities that present themselves, and accept help
from other people.

From: https://www.successconsciousness.com/index_00003a.htm

We all have goals and of course all of us want to reach and accomplish those. In the article
there are 10 steps to achieve it, if we just apply and exhibit those surely, we can reach our dreams in
life. Plan, you must know what you are doing and where you are leading.
First, we must be clear on the things we wanted to be or to happen. Sometimes, there are
some that until now they do not know what they want for their life and I think it is fine. One must not
be down and just continue to find it over him/her time. You need to prepare and be ready take new
steps on your goal. In able to be equipped, reading is proven as one of the best ways. Reading or
listening to advice is important, especially if it is related to the path you choose because you will
know the things you can apply in achieving your goal. Goals are not just imagination of who ad what
you wish to happen or have. In order to make it happen it requires will, efforts and of course action.
Along the process obstacles, complications, problems and failure are inevitable. You just need
to keep on trying by doing your best and never give up on your dreams.
 Stress Management
No matter what the origin of stress is for you, there are some basic steps you can take to
manage the stress that you experience. Try to approach stress from three angles:
Quick Stress Relief
While quick stress relievers aren't a complete stress management plan in themselves, they are an
excellent first line of defense against the effects of chronic stress. This is because they can help you
turn off your body's stress response and respond to the stressors you face from a calm (or calmer),
more relaxed place. This helps you to more effectively deal with what is stress, and keep yourself
healthier at the same time. Common strategies for quick stress relief include breathing exercises or the
use of humor.
Address The Situation
This step is a little more individualized, but stress management is an important key. As previously
discussed, stressed, overwhelmed people aren't always in the best position to solve problems. Once
you find yourself in a calmer place, you can work on addressing what's causing stress in your life. Job
stress? Learn to find job satisfaction at your current job, or take steps toward moving to a new one.
Money stress? You can handle that, too, with some stress management techniques and financial
advice resources. Sometimes self-sabotage is at play and you need to learn some strategies to stop
being your own worst enemy.)
Long-Term Stress Management
Rather than waiting until you're overwhelmed by stress, if you make certain stress-relieving activities
a habit, you'll be less reactive to stressors when you experience them, and you'll be more able to
handle them when you face them. Some of these habits include meditation, exercise, and the regular
practice of having fun. You can also learn strategies to become more emotionally resilient.
From: https://www.verywellmind.com/chronic-stress-definition-management-tips-3145241

Reflection
Stress can be helpful sometimes, but can be really exhausting most of the times. All of us
must know or learn on how to cope stress or stressors in our life. Stress management can help you to
more effectively deal with what is stress, and keep yourself healthier at the same time. We must not
let stress burn and distract us down. There are lots of ways to cope up with stress. Another important
part of a stress management plan is having some regular activities in your life. Engaging into new
habits that can make you happy. Try learning some healthy communication strategies or assertive
communication skills. Replenishing yourself can help you become more resilient in facing what is
stress in your daily life.
 Responsible Relationship
Imagine this scenario: “Why’d you put mustard all over my fries?” Jack asks. Then Jill
replies, “Well, you should’ve told me you don’t like mustard!”
This is an example of how often times people deflect ownership of their behaviors and play
the blame game. Is Jack responsible for his now mustard-covered fries, or should Jill have taken
responsibility for her behavior? Taking responsibility in your relationship is the acknowledgment and
ownership of every action and word you say and do.
Why Taking Responsibility is Important
Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part of healthy
relationships. Doing so is an empowering reminder that you have control over the role you play in
your relationship. Taking responsibility creates trust and dependability. When you take responsibility
for your behaviors, you demonstrate to your partner your willingness to be honest and vulnerable,
which in turns encourages your partner to be open and authentic with you.
Being in the throes of my first relationship ever, I have learned a lot about myself. By being
willing to accept that everyone makes mistakes, we learn how to take responsibility and grow. I have
come to the realization that some of my behavior was unhealthy, and I chose to take responsibility for
it. Recently, codependency was something my partner and I talked through. I recognized that I was
relying too much on their affection and support and was not as engaged with supporting them. The
support dynamic was imbalanced, and it showed in my low levels of self-confidence and need for my
partner to be my only source of self-worth. When we communicated and I recognized that changing
my behavior could make our relationship better, I took responsibility for working to change how we
supported each other in the relationship. I was able to recognize the mutual importance of support,
and this helped me grow in my relationship.
What Taking Responsibility Looks Like
It is important to distinguish between taking and deflecting responsibility for both you and
your partner. Be aware of defensive responses which might include “stop being so sensitive” or “I
didn’t know that you cared about that” or “you should’ve said something.” It’s not only important for
you to take responsibility. It’s something that’s critical that your partner learn and do as well in order
to have a healthy relationship.
For you, taking responsibility looks like practicing self-awareness. For your partner, taking
responsibility looks like having open communication with you about their feelings and being willing
to admit they can grow from the hard parts of the relationship. Your partner learns to take
responsibility when they own their behaviors and hold themselves accountable to their actions.
Accepting Misplaced Blame
There is an extremely important difference between taking responsibility and accepting
misplaced blame. Taking responsibility is never accepting blame for things you didn’t do. For
example, when your partner tells you that something is your fault, you don’t automatically take
responsibility for whatever mistake it was. It’s common in unhealthy relationships, particularly
codependent ones, for one person (the manipulator) to say, “it’s all your fault” and for his/her partner
to say “it’s all my fault.” A lot of times, people may take responsibility for things that are not their
fault, and they might even do so without consciously realizing it. Making excuses for your partner’s
behavior or yourself is unhealthy and may lead to these unhealthy behaviors being ignored or
accepted.
How to Practice this In Real Life
Taking responsibility is not just a one-sided practice. The following ways to use the empowering
action of taking responsibility is important for both you and your partner to use and practice in your
relationship.
1. Be Honest
“You have to love yourself before you love others” is a versatile phrase that has multiple meanings
when applied to relationships. It can translate to “You have to be honest with yourself before you can
be honest with others.” For example:
Referring back to the mustard situation, imagine you’re Jill. A healthy response would be to take
ownership of her actions and respond with something like, “Oh, I’m sorry! I should have asked you
before I added mustard. I did not realize you didn’t like mustard, and this is my mistake.”
2. Act on Situations, Don’t React
When people are held accountable for their behaviors, they often become defensive. Getting defensive
is a reaction. When you act on a situation, you can respond with clarity and awareness. You can
practice acting on situations instead of reacting by taking deep breaths or counting to ten. It also helps
to take a second and look at the situation from your partner’s perspective. It can be hard to think from
the other perspective, especially in the heat of the moment.
For example:
Jill is reacting to Jack being upset instead of acting on her need to take responsibility. Acting instead
of reacting allows you to clearly define a self-aware and honest answer to an unhealthy behavior.
3. Be Willing to Forgive Your Partner and Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes and forgiving yourself or your partner is important for moving past
challenges and making your relationship stronger. When you view taking responsibility for your
mistakes as an opportunity to learn, your relationship can become a place that fosters and celebrates
growth. Forgiveness builds trust and accountability in your relationship, breaks down resentment, and
stops the never fun “blame game.”

From: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/stop-playing-the-blame-game-take-responsibility-in-your-
relationship/

Reflection
Engaging and committing yourself in a relationship requires responsibilities. In able to
maintain your relationship healthy, both of you must be healthy too. Taking responsibility for your
behaviors in your relationship requires honest and open communication. By being honest with
yourself and your partner, you can effectively respond by taking responsibility. Being honest with
yourself begins with a healthy sense of self-awareness. And being self-aware means you acknowledge
that what you say and do impacts your partner. Both must have the willingness to address unhealthy
excuses with your partner. Another way is being able to apologize and accept that what you do affect
your partner. Both must know their respective role in the thing they committed in. Another way is
being able to apologize and accept that what you do affects your partner. They are not always easy
discussion to have, but you will find that doing so build trust within your relationship over time and is
an empowering way to learn and grow.