TED LASSO

"Pilot"

2/1/19

Story By

Jason Sudeikis
Bill Lawrence
Joe Kelly
Brendan Hunt

Teleplay By

Jason Sudeikis
&
Bill Lawrence
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 1.

EXT. GREENWICH FC TRAINING GROUNDS - MORNING

We start on the vibrant green PRACTICE GROUNDS of the

GREENWICH FOOTBALL CLUB, a mediocre PREMIERE LEAGUE team in
OUTER LONDON. The PLAYERS STRETCH and warm up.

EXT./INT. GREENWICH FC OWNER’S OFFICE

We see those same players out a window. MOVERS bring items in

and out - it’s an office in transition. The team’s new owner,
REBECCA WELTON, (40s, resilient, hides blue-collar roots),
STARES inscrutably at a small PAINTING on her wall. Almost as
if she was looking through it, BEYOND it.

HIGGINS, (an “old” 45, middle-management, middle everything)

enters with a cautious knock on the open door. Rebecca stays
focused on the painting.

REBECCA
I gave this to Rupert on our fifth
anniversary...

HIGGINS
You have exquisite taste, ma’am.

REBECCA
(takes it off wall)
Do you want it?

HIGGINS
But... it’s a Hockney. It’s worth
three-hundred thousand pounds.

REBECCA
Good point. Should’ve said yes.
(hands it to mover)
Auction pile, please.

As Rebecca moves to sit, Higgins glances down at three

BRITISH TABLOIDS on her desk. Each has a picture of REBECCA
and her ex-husband, the club’s previous owner, RUPERT
MANNION. “He gets the bimbos, she gets the bozos.” Rebecca
looks up at Higgins, then puts the magazines in a drawer.

HIGGINS
Mrs. Mannion-- Excuse me - Miss
Welton - George is here... The
manager?

REBECCA
Yes I know who George is, Higgins.
Please bring him in.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 2.

Higgins leans out the door and sees GEORGE CARTRICK, (late
50’s, old-school MANAGER) flirting, poorly, with a secretary.

Higgins clears his throat. George ENTERS WITH SWAGGER.

GEORGE
Higgy boy.

George pretends TO FLICK Higgins in the nuts, causing Higgins

to flinch. George then moves to Rebecca, looks around.

GEORGE (CONT’D)
Love what you’ve done with the
place. You do it yourself or did ya
have some poof help you?

REBECCA
(re: his styled haircut)
I could ask the same of your hair.
(gestures to chair)
Please.

GEORGE
(to Higgins as he sits)
Isn’t this one cheeky? Now luv,
training starts in a few, so
whatever you need to get off your
impressive chest, have at it.

REBECCA
Oh, of course.
(then)
You’re fired.

GEORGE
(with a condescending laugh)
Right.

REBECCA
We’ll be buying out the remainder
of your contract. I wish you the
best of luck.

GEORGE
Fired? What the fuck for?

REBECCA
Yes, you do deserve to know the
‘why’ of it all, don’t you? I
suppose I could choose from any
number of reasons... Your casual
misogyny, for one.
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 3.

REBECCA (CONT'D)
Perhaps it’s your performance, as
you have led this team into yet
another remarkably-average season.
Or maybe it’s because you insist on
wearing those tiny shorts even
though it forces me to see one of
your testicles.
(George shifts in seat)
Aaand there’s the other one. Six
more weeks of winter, I see. But,
if I’m being completely honest,
George? You’re sacked because I’m
the owner now, and I don’t like
you. Now sod off, you fat twat.

George stands, grabs a tabloid from her desk, chuckles:

GEORGE
Higgy boy, what do you think is
worse? Your husband cheating on
you? Or being the last to know?

George tosses the TABLOID back on her desk, then EXITS

defiantly. Higgins watches him go, AGHAST.

REBECCA
(cheerful)
Is there someone who could pop out
and fetch me a salad?

HIGGINS
...I’ll send her right in. And as
far as new managers go, shall I
prepare a list of candidates?

REBECCA
(sparkle in her eye)
No. That won’t be necessary.

INT. SPORTSCENTER WITH SCOTT VAN PELT - DAY

The SPORTSCENTER THEME takes us to “SPORTSCENTER WITH SCOTT

VAN PELT” post commercial. Scott talks to the camera.

SCOTT VAN PELT

Surprising news today from across
the pond. The Greenwich Football
Club announced the hiring of their
new manager, one Theodore “Ted”
Lasso. Recently Coach Lasso led the
NCAA Division-two Pittsburgh State
Gorillas to their first national
title in American football.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 4.

We see a HIGHLIGHT of Pittsburgh State’s WINNING TOUCHDOWN.

SCOTT VAN PELT (CONT’D)

He took the Gorillas - love the
name - from a perennial doormat,
all the way to the promised land in
his very first season as head
coach. Still, that is not how Ted
Lasso initially found his way into
our living rooms or our hearts. For
me, Ted will always be the coach
celebrating a moment of joy with
his young team in a way you have to
see and feel to truly understand.

We see Ted in a PHONE VIDEO, DANCING with his players. The

connection between Coach Lasso and his team is palpable.

SCOTT VAN PELT (CONT’D)

Good luck with the most beautiful
game, Ted. Do ‘Merica proud.

As he continues the broadcast, CUT BACK to see his show BEING

WATCHED on an iPhone. This transitions to:

PRE-LAP SFX: AIRPLANE TOILET FLUSH

INT. BRITISH AIRWAYS 757 - BUSINESS CLASS

The bathroom door opens and TED LASSO (40, Jason Sudeikis-
type) exits and heads to his seat. He passes a HIP BRITISH
TEEN, TOMMY, (gaudy tracksuit, the one watching ESPN on his
iPhone). Tommy does a DOUBLE-TAKE AT TED as he passes. Ted
takes his seat, picks up his book, “The River of Doubt” by
Candice Millard. Right then, an iPhone is SHOVED IN FRONT of
his book, showing a PAUSED IMAGE OF TED’S smiling face.

TOMMY
Oi, mate, ‘is you?

TED LASSO
I believe it is.

TOMMY
Aww man. Legend.
(holds up his iPhone)
Can I get an “us”-ie?

TED LASSO
Sure.
(as they pose)
We call ‘em “selfies” back home.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 5.

TOMMY
It’s not myself, yeh? It’s us,
innit? “Us”-ie.

TED LASSO
I like that.

Tommy TAKES A PICTURE, looks at it.

TOMMY
Wicked.
(to Ted; joyfully)
You, coaching football? Mate, you
are a legend for doing something so
stupid. I mean, it’s mental.
They’re gonna fucking murder you.

TED LASSO
Oh, I’ve heard that tune before.
Yet here I am, still dancin’.

TOMMY
Legend.

Tommy heads off. Ted peeks over his seat to see COACH BEARD
(40s, stoic, loyal, a walking encyclopedia). He reads
“Inverting the Pyramid”, by Jonathan Wilson a SOCCER TEXT.

TED LASSO
Another soccer book? Coach, you are
a sponge. Hit me with a fun fact.

COACH BEARD
“Catenaccio” is the highly
defensive system which has come to
define Italian football, but it was
actually created in Switzerland.

TED LASSO
Okay. Lil’ more “long” than “fun.”
What else ya got?

COACH BEARD
In soccer, instead of “out of
bounds” they say “in to touch.”

TED LASSO
There we go. I don’t need to know
how the sausage is made, just gimme
a nice spicy mustard.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT (O.S.)

We’ll now be dimming the cabin...
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 6.

As she continues on, Beard grabs his blanket.

TED LASSO
You gonna grab a little shuteye?

COACH BEARD
Got to. The jet lag will kill us.

TED LASSO
No I hear that, right behind you.

The LIGHTS DIM. As Beard settles in, he regards Ted.

COACH BEARD
How ya feeling, Coach? Gonna be
quite a challenge.

TED LASSO
Yeah. But takin’ on a challenge is
a lot like celebratin’ Christmas.
If ya only do it once a year,
you’re doin’ it wrong.
(Coach Beard nods)
Goodnight, Coach.

COACH BEARD
‘Night, Coach.

Ted ducks down to his seat. Beat. Then his head POPS BACK UP.

TED LASSO
Hey, if we see each other in our
dreams, let’s goof around and
pretend we don’t know each other.

Beard chuckles, slides on his EYE MASK. Ted turns off his
overhead light, pulls out his IPHONE. His wallpaper is a
HAPPY PICTURE of his WIFE AND SON (10). WIDE SHOT: We see a
dark cabin, with only Ted ILLUMINATED, by his phone.

INT. AIRPORT - ARRIVAL GATES - NEXT MORNING

We start on an EMPTY MOVING WALKWAY. Coach Beard moves into

frame, looking fairly fresh.

COACH BEARD
You didn’t sleep at all?

Ted MOVES INTO FRAME, looking WORSE FOR WEAR.

TED LASSO
Not a wink. I tried but my brain
just kept cookin’.
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 7.

TED LASSO (CONT'D)

First I was thinkin’ about not
sleepin’, then I was thinkin’ about
thinkin’ about not sleepin’. That’s
never good.

COACH BEARD
You created a negative reality.

TED LASSO
Exactly!

As Ted EXITS FRAME...

INT. HEATHROW AIRPORT - CUSTOMS LINE - MOMENTS LATER

Ted and Coach Beard are in LINE, slowly moving forward...

TED LASSO
I did almost doze off at one point,
but then I heard the all-too-
familiar whispers of a lovers’
spat. Sure enough, it was the
flight attendant and the captain.
They were goin’ back and forth til
she full-on dumped him. He turns
around, tears in his eyes, walks
right back into the cockpit. Now
I’m wide awake, cause with my
modest understanding of the
fragility of the male ego, I’m
thinkin’, “Oh hell, what is this
guy gonna do now?” But, he was a
pro. Got us here safe and sound.

INT. HEATHROW AIRPORT - OUTSIDE CUSTOMS

Ted and Coach Beard make their way out, passing waiting
families and VARIOUS DRIVERS HOLDING SIGNS.

COACH BEARD
The captain did seem emotional when
we got off the plane.

TED LASSO
Oh I’m sure he was. Heck, he’d
heard her say “bye-bye” enough for
one day.
(then)
I believe this is us over here.

A driver, SANJI (Indian, 30s) holds a sign: “LASO”.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 8.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Howdy! My name’s Ted, what’s yours?

INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER

MUSIC CUE: “WATERLOO SUNSET” BY THE KINKS.

They drive through LONDON. Ted takes in the ICONIC SITES for
the first time with childlike wonder.

TIME CUT:

The car drives through more SUBURBAN OUTSKIRTS. Coach Beard

holds FLASH CARDS of the LOGO of each team he mentions:

COACH BEARD
...Okay, if anyone mentions
Manchester United, all you need to
know: super rich. Everybody either
loves them or hates them.

TED LASSO
Dallas Cowboys.

Coach Beard nods, Ted’s correct. Another FLASH CARD:

COACH BEARD
Liverpool. Used to be great,
haven’t won a title in a really
long time.

TED LASSO
Also Dallas Cowboys.

COACH BEARD
Cardiff City - classic underdog,
dragon on the crest.

TED LASSO
What’s that pretty lady’s name from
Game of Thrones? The gal with all
the dragons.

COACH BEARD
Khaleesi.

TED LASSO
Khaleesi.

COACH BEARD
Man City. Been around forever,
disappeared for a while, now
they’re back, stronger than ever.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 9.

TED LASSO
Michael Keaton.

EXT. GREENWICH FC TRAINING GROUNDS - LATER

Beard removes the luggage as Ted talks to Sanj at the window.

TED LASSO
...and you’re gonna grill those rib-
eyes, chop ‘em up, toss ‘em right
in there, and if that’s not the
best chili you’ve ever had in your
life, I’ll come to your house and
take a bath in it.

SANJI
I’m sure that won’t be necessary.
You’re a good man Ted Lasso.

TED LASSO
Oh you know that’s comin’ right
back atcha, Sanj. Drive safe now.

The car pulls off. Ted notices the training field in the
distance. He SETS OFF with purpose. Beard follows.

EXT. TRAINING FIELD - CONTINUOUS

We start CLOSE ON the GRASS as Ted’s hand comes down into

frame, SCRATCHES ACROSS it and FEELS IT.

TED LASSO
Feels different, Coach. I mean,
feels the same, but different.

COACH BEARD
Metaphor.

TED LASSO
Bingo.

Ted rips out a small HANDFUL OF GRASS, smells it.

NATHAN (O.S.)
Don’t do that. Excuse me. Please
don’t touch the grass.

TED LASSO
Sorry.

NATHAN, (30s, put-upon clubhouse attendant, he’s got a lot to

offer, but has no belief in himself) hurries over.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 10.

NATHAN TED LASSO (CONT'D)

Off, off, off. Who are you? We’re going, we’re going.
Off the pitch. We’re doing it.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Sorry about that. I’m Ted Lasso--

NATHAN
Oh no! The new manager! Sir, please
forgive me, I didn’t know--

TED LASSO
Hey, it’s okay, just breathe. Now
first things first: no need to call
me “sir”, it’s either “Coach” or
“your highness”. I’m kiddin’ you
already got one of those over here
and the buzz is you don’t wanna get
on her bad side. This here’s Coach
Beard. What’s your name?

NATHAN
Me? No one ever asks me my name.

Ted and Beard wait for an answer.

TED LASSO
Well, whenever you’re ready.

NATHAN
Nathan.

TED LASSO
Nathan! Classic name. Hey Coach, is
that name in the Bible?

COACH BEARD
Book of Samuel.

TED LASSO
Old testament. I knew it. So Nate,
we’re supposed to meet with
Rebecca Welton?

NATHAN
Miss Welton! Of course! I’ll take
you straight away.

Nathan darts off. Ted and Beard follow.

TED LASSO
And away we go. This kid’s great by
the way.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 11.

INT. TRAINING FACILITY - OFFICES - MOMENTS LATER

Ted and Beard wheel their luggage behind a VISIBLY NERVOUS

Nathan, who KNOCKS on Rebecca’s office door.

NATHAN
I’ll introduce you.

REBECCA(O.S.)
Come in.

INT. GREENWICH FC OWNER’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Rebecca works at her desk with Higgins. She turns, brightly.

REBECCA
Hello? May I help you?

Nathan’s about to speak and... He turns and SPRINTS down the

long hallway. TED STEPS INTO the FRAME, watching Nathan go,
then turning to Rebecca:

TED LASSO
How ya’ll doin? I’m Ted Lasso. Your
new coach. You must be Miss Welton.

Ted and Beard enter. Rebecca gets up and greets Ted.

REBECCA
Oh please, call me Rebecca. Miss
Welton’s my father.

TED LASSO
If that’s a joke, I love it. If
not, I can’t wait to unpack that
with you. This here’s Coach Beard.

REBECCA
How delightful to finally meet you
both. So exciting. Higgins--
(back to Ted)
Oh, this is Higgins, he’s our
current director of communications.

HIGGINS
(under breath, concerned)
“Current?”

REBECCA
Could you please take Coach Beard
and have one of the girls get him
their IDs, keys, housing
information. Whatever they need...
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 12.

As Coach Beard heads out with Higgins, Ted confides:

TED LASSO
Wifi password, Wet wipes--

COACH BEARD
--Humidifier. Way ahead of you,
Coach.

They EXIT. Rebecca moves to the TEA SETUP.

REBECCA
May I get you something to drink?

TED LASSO
Yes please. Didn’t sleep much on
the plane, so any iced or blended
coffee drink ya got - mocha latte,
frappuccino - I ain’t picky as long
as I can’t taste a hint of coffee.

REBECCA
I’m afraid we’re not as coffee-
centric as you’re accustomed to.
How do you take your tea?

She pours Ted a cup.

TED LASSO
Usually I take it back to the
counter cause there’s been a
horrible mistake. But hey, when in
Rome...

Rebecca smiles. Ted takes a sip. He smiles and nods.

REBECCA
Well?

TED LASSO
Mmm. I always figured tea was just
gonna taste like hot brown water.
And y’know what? I was right.

REBECCA
(with a smile)
Welcome to England.

TED LASSO
Speakin’ of which, I wanna thank
you for this opportunity.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 13.

REBECCA
Thank you for accepting. I can’t
imagine it was an easy decision.
Will your family be joining you?

TED LASSO
Not right off the bat, but we’ll
get ‘em over for a visit soon
enough. I did have one question for
ya, now that we’re here, face to
face and all: why me? Why’d you
pick me? I’m just curious.

Rebecca SMILES.

REBECCA
(as she stands)
Follow me.

INT. TRAINING FACILITY - HALLWAY

Rebecca stops in front of a WALL COVERED IN PHOTOS and

MEMORABILIA. Ted takes in the wall as Rebecca speaks:

REBECCA
This hall represents our club’s
long, albeit modest, history. First
match was in 1897. This was taken
on that very day.

WE SEE an old photo of 11 FILTHY YOUNG MEN holding a banner

that says “GREENWICH FC”. Ted looks closer.

TED LASSO
Oh man, these fellas are just
covered in muck. Musta’ been a
heckuva game.

REBECCA
Actually that photo was taken
before the match. That’s how
everyone looked in the 1800s.

Ted moves to a section labeled “CLUB OWNERS”. They’re all

photos of old, wealthy, white men. Ted stops at one.

TED LASSO
Wait, is that who I think it is?

REBECCA
Ah yes. Freddie Mercury owned the
club from ‘79 to ‘81.
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 14.

REBECCA (CONT'D)
Everyone talks about his amazing
voice and four-octave range. But
if you had asked Freddie what his
greatest talent was, he would’ve
said it was flipping straight men.

Ted moves to the photo of the most recent owner, RUPERT

MANNION (late 60s, lovable cad) smiling, champagne in hand.

TED LASSO
Hey! Check out this guy! He looks
like a good time.

REBECCA
That’s my ex-husband.

TED LASSO
Well, “good times” aren’t always a
good time.
(then, empathetic)
No I heard about that. How ya
holdin’ up?

Rebecca’s caught off-guard by his candor. Or his concern.

REBECCA
(with a chuckle)
You know, you’re the first person
here to ask me that.

TED LASSO
Oh that’s just cuz you’re the boss.
And for most folks, talkin’ to
their boss is like winnin’ a chili-
eatin’ contest. It may feel good in
the moment, but eventually, it’s
gonna bite ya in the buns.

She looks at him, “Who is this guy?” and then...

REBECCA
It hasn’t been the easiest year.

A sliver of vulnerability. Ted nods.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
You want to know why I picked you
Ted? Because this hallway is a
monument to the kind of second-rate
success that only men of privilege
can achieve and yet still maintain
their power. And you’re nothing
like them. And neither am I.
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 15.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
Now, obviously we’ll need you to
speak to the press.

She MOVES OFF, Ted FOLLOWS.

TED LASSO
Of course, happy to. I’ll get a
full night’s sleep, nip this jet
lag in the bud, I’ll be good to go
tomorrow.

REBECCA
Oh no. I’m so sorry. I thought you
knew. They’re ready for you now.

Right then, she reaches for the door, opening it to:

INT. PRESS CONFERENCE - CONTINUOUS

Ted enters from a side door to a throng of CAMERAS, BRIGHT

LIGHTS, and REPORTERS. HIGGINS stands in the front.

HIGGINS
...and here he is. Once again, we
apologize for the somewhat longer
wait than we had hoped--

REPORTER 1 (O.S.)
--Over an hour, you twit!

HIGGINS
Without further ado, I’d like to
introduce you to the new coach of
Greenwich Football Club: Ted Lasso.

As Ted makes his way to the front:

INT. TUBE - SAME TIME

Tommy is there (wears a different color tracksuit) with a few

friends. They’re WATCHING the PRESS CONFERENCE on a phone.

TOMMY
Oi! I met ‘im on the plane.

Tommy shows the “us”-ie on his cell.

TEEN GIRL
Was he nice?

TOMMY
He tried to fuck me.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 16.

TEEN BOY
Cooool.

INT. PRESS CONFERENCE - CONTINUOUS

Ted sits at the table. The second he lands, reporters lay

PHONES and RECORDING DEVICES on the table. Ted grabs a bottle
of water, takes a SIP and IMMEDIATELY COUGHS.

TED LASSO
Wasn’t expectin’ fizzy water. Okay,
so ya’ll are probably runnin’ late
‘cause we’re runnin’ late. So why
don’t we just jump on in. Anybody
got any questions?

Every arm SHOOTS up, as reporters call for his attention. An

assistant escorts Beard in. He stands by Higgins and Rebecca.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Yup. Shoulda seen that comin’. How
bout I go ahead and address the
larger than normal elephant in the
room. No, I have never coached the
sport that you folks call
“football”, at any level.
(murmur)
And, yes, if I was in y’all’s
position, I’d be lookin’ at me the
exact way y’all are lookin’ at me
right now. I got a whole lot to
learn. Heck, you could fill two
internets with what I don’t know
about football. But I’ll tell you
what I do know: I know how
important it is for a group of
young men to believe not only in
themselves, but in each other. I
know enthusiasm is contagious. And
I know that like any team I coach,
Greenwich FC is gonna go out there
and give ya’ll everything they got,
for all four quarters.

REPORTER 2
Halves.

TED LASSO
What’s that?

REPORTER 2
Two halves.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 17.

TED LASSO
Right. Sorry, I knew that, just a
little jet-lagged. They’re gonna
give you everythin’ they got for
two halves. Win or lose.

REPORTER 1
Or tie.

TED LASSO
That’s right. Y’all do ties here.
Boy I tell you what, back where I’m
from, y’all try to end a game in a
tie, that’d be the first sign of
the Apocalypse.

A few reporters chuckle at Ted’s charming self-awareness.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Look, we’re gonna play smart, play
together and we’re gonna be
gentlemen. We do that, I think we
got as good a chance as anyone to
get to the playoffs.

REPORTER 3
No playoffs.

TED LASSO
Gosh dangit, that’s right. No
playoffs and y’all don’t mind
endin’ games with ties. My job just
keeps gettin’ easier and easier.

More chuckles. Rebecca smiles at Higgins, encouraged.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

And hey, I respect what y’all do,
so my door will always be open, ok?
And no topic will be “in to touch.”

Ted gives Beard a wink. Beard reacts, “Yeah, kinda.”

HIGGINS
Alright, one final question.

Hands go up. Ted calls on TRENT (41, glasses).

TED LASSO
How bout this fella right over
here, I love those glasses.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 18.

TRENT
Thank you. Trent Crimm, “The
Independent”. I just want to make
sure I have this right: You’re an
American, who’s never even set foot
in England, with no football
experience whatsoever, whose
athletic success has only come at
the amateur level - a second tier
one at that - and has now been
charged with the leadership of a
Premiere League football club,
despite clearly possessing very
little knowledge of the game or its
basic strategy.

TED LASSO
Did you have a question?

TRENT
Yes... Is this a fucking joke?

INT. CROWN AND ANCHOR PUB - SAME TIME

The lunch crowd, watching on TV, cheer Trent’s question. MAE

FOSTER (70s, pub owner and matriarch of these die-hard
Greenwich fans) draws pints. THREE LOCALS, BAZ, JEREMY, PAUL
(late 20s) are especially passionate.

BAZ
Thank you, Trent!

JEREMY PAUL
Fuck yeah. Not a joke to me.

MAE
Shut it!

INT. PRESS CONFERENCE - CONTINUOUS

The dam has broken as reporters hammer Ted with questions.

REPORTER 1 TED LASSO

Can you even name any Sure, you got Ronaldo, and
footballers? uh, that fella who bends it
like himself...

REPORTER 2 TED LASSO (CONT'D)

Do you know how many games in Not off the top of my head--
a Premiere League season?
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 19.

REPORTER 3 TED LASSO (CONT'D)

Who are you playing this That’s easy, Dallas Cowboys.
weekend?

The confusion grows louder. Ted nervously takes a gulp of

water and spits it out all over the phones.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

The bubbles!

Rebecca calmly steps forward, next to a still-seated Ted.

REBECCA
Coach Lasso! You must forgive my
countrymen. Somewhere over the last
few years, we seem to have
abandoned all sense of manners and
hospitality.
(to room)
My my, aren’t you a salty bunch.
What’s wrong, did we run out of
pies?

REPORTER 2
Actually, yes.

REBECCA
Well, you must forgive us, we
didn’t expect to see so many of you
today. In fact, I can’t remember
the last time we were this full in
the press room. Yet here you all
are. And all because of Ted Lasso.
(to Ted, smiling)
Maybe you’re not such a mad notion
after all, eh?
(back to room)
And despite the number of you,
there isn’t a single person in this
room who has seen Greenwich play as
much as I have. Home, away, league,
cup, sunny days on the Thames, cold
rainy nights in Stoke. I was there.
And in all those years, under the
stewardship of the previous owner,
I have witnessed nothing but
profound mediocrity.
(murmurs of discontent)
Oh, am I wrong? Ted Lasso may not
have a CV that you all find
acceptable, but he does have
something this club doesn’t: A
trophy from this millennium.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 20.

Ted and Beard share a look as Higgins grimaces.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
Now you people are going to write
the story however you like, but
Greenwich Football Club is changing
the way we do things. And from now
on, that way is the “Ted Lasso
Way”. We will see you this weekend
at Liverpool. Thank you.
(to Ted, gestures to door)
After you, Coach Lasso.

TED LASSO
(leaning into the mic)
Y’all have a good week. And sorry
about spittin’ on all your stuff.

Ted exits with Rebecca, Higgins and Beard behind him.

INT. TRAINING FACILITY - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Ted, a little shellshocked, moves down the hallway.

TED LASSO
Oof, sorry ‘bout that y’all.

REBECCA
Ted. Don’t you think of them for
another second. You have a job to
do. And proving them wrong has just
been added to the list.

TED LASSO
Thank you. Ya know I’d love to say
hi to the team, if I can.

REBECCA
Splendid idea.
(to Higgins)
Please show them the way.

TED LASSO
No, no, that’s okay. I’m sure
Higgins here has bigger fish and
chips to fry. We’ll sniff it out.

REBECCA
Very well. You can’t keep a gaffer
from his pitch.

Ted and Beard head off.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 21.

TED LASSO
Ain’t that the truth.
(sotto to Beard)
I’m oh-for-two in that sentence.

Ted and Beard are gone. Higgins turns to Rebecca.

HIGGINS
I have to say ma’am, I was a bit
skeptical at first. But after
hearing you speak in there... I’m
excited by your choice. You’re
right, Coach Lasso is just what we
need.

REBECCA
Oh, he’s horrid. Absolute wanker.

Rebecca’s mask is finally off.

HIGGINS
Excuse me?

REBECCA
I hope he fails in spectacular
fashion. In fact, I’m counting on
it.

Higgins is STUNNED.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
You see Higgins, my ex-husband has
only one true love: this club. And
Ted Lasso is going to help me burn
it to the fucking ground. Rupert
will have no choice but to just sit
there and watch his precious little
baby die. I want to torture him.

She moves to the earlier picture of her ex, Rupert, staring

at it/him as she speaks.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
I want him to feel like he’s being
fucked in the ass with a splintered
cricket bat. Just going in and out,
in a constant loop, over and over.
Like a GIF. That’s what GIFS do,
right? They’re endless?

Unsure how to respond, Higgins reverts to his lackey ways.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 22.

HIGGINS
Yes, ma’am. Though some people
pronounce it “JIF.”

REBECCA
Thank you, Higgins.

EXT. FACILITY - MOMENTS LATER

Ted and Beard arrive at the TRAINING FIELD, where the players
scrimmage.

TED LASSO
Okay, let me use it in a sentence
so it sticks. The “Gaffer”...
(points to self)
...is walking to the “pitch”...
(points to field)
...to watch practice.

COACH BEARD
Training. They call practice
“training”.

TED LASSO
Ooo, I like that.

Ted sees NATHAN filling cups with Gatorade and gives him a
wave. Nathan, not sure if it was meant for him, POINTS TO
HIMSELF, “Me?” Ted nods “Yes.” NATHAN HOLDS up a CUP: “You
want a Gatorade?” Ted looks to Beard, who nods. Ted holds up
TWO FINGERS: “Two please.”

ROY KENT (O.S.)

Jesus, Mary and COCKSUCKING JOSEPH!

Ted and Beard turn to see ROY KENT (30s, Irish, battle worn,
intimidating) mid-scrimmage, COACHING THE TEAM as he plays.

ROY KENT (CONT’D)

Keith, you have to know who you’re
marking, dammit!
(supportive to other
player)
Hector, he gives you that much
space, make a run.

TED LASSO
Ooo, I spy with my little eye: a
field general.

Nate arrives with the two Gatorades.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 23.

COACH BEARD
Roy Kent. Team captain, classic old-
school box-to-box midfielder, has
definitely lost a step.

NATHAN
But he’s a legend, won a Champions
League with Chelsea.

COACH BEARD
Eight years ago.

TED LASSO
Well, sometimes the reason you
can’t teach an old dog new tricks
is cuz he already knows all the
tricks.

Beard nods, agreeing. Ted sips the sports drink.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Holy cow, that is a fine mix.
Coach, taste that.

Beard swishes it around, then nods at Ted, “This is amazing.”

TED LASSO(CONT’D)
Nathan, you continue to impress.

NATHAN
(moved)
You remembered my name.

Right then, Ted reacts to a BICYCLE KICK by JAMIE TARTT (23,

handsome, talented, aware of both).

TED LASSO
Whoa! You see that?! He looked like
a kitty-cat when it gets spooked.

COACH BEARD
That’s Jamie Tartt. Superstar in
the making. Top-scorer on the team.

Ted nods but notices Jamie Tartt KNOCKING AWAY an

enthusiastic TEAMMATE’S HAND trying to help him up.

TED LASSO
What’s he like, Nate?

NATHAN
Um, well... Jamie... has a strong
sense of self.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 24.

TED LASSO
Uh huh. Where’s he from, England?

COACH BEARD
Wales.

TED LASSO
Wait, is that another country?

COACH BEARD
Yes and no.

TED LASSO
How many countries are in this
country?

COACH BEARD
Four.

Ted reacts. A whistle BLOWS.

INT. LOCKER ROOM - MINUTES LATER

A PRO LOCKER ROOM with TRAINING ROOMS, SHOWERS and

WHIRLPOOLS. Nathan SCURRIES IN and disappears into the
laundry room. Ted and Beard STROLL IN.

TED LASSO
Can’t help it, Coach. I do love a
locker room.
(deep inhale)
Smells like potential. And am I
getting notes of Axe body-spray?

COACH BEARD
Spot on, Coach. Though it may be
called something else here.

Ted nods. Nathan WHEELS IN A LAUNDRY HAMPER, placing fresh

TOWELS in lockers. Ted MOVES FROM LOCKER TO LOCKER, surveying
players’ tiny living spaces. At one, Ted observes a NINTENDO
SWITCH, candy bars. He checks the nameplate - SOTO, #23.

TED LASSO
Soto. He a young fella?

COACH BEARD
Hector Soto. Nineteen year-old from
Colombia. First year in the league.

Ted notices a number of family and friends photos taped up.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 25.

TED LASSO
You can tell a lot about a bird by
its nest. Hector might be a little
homesick. Let’s keep an eye on him.

Ted checks another locker - holds up AXE BODY SPRAY to Beard:

“Ding-ding.” Then JAMIE’S LOCKER. Everything is high-end
trendy: UNSCUFFED SNEAKERS, body-hair trimmer, etc. Lining
the sides are PINUP PICTURES of Keeley Jones. A few in
BATHING SUITS/LINGERIE, but the center piece is one of her
POSING TOPLESS. Ted’s FACE tells us he does not approve.

Finally, ROY KENT’S LOCKER. Sparse. Except his TOP SHELF is

like a MEDICINE CABINET. Ted reads a Rx label: “VICODIN FOR
PAIN.” The CLICKITY-CLACK OF CLEATS cause Ted and Beard to
step back. They watch as players enter, throwing their sweaty
gear into the hamper, though Jamie and his buddies TOSS THEIR
SWEATY CLOTHES AT NATHAN, who laughs it off. The players’
laughter and chatter drops to MUMBLES and WHISPERS as they
notice Ted and Beard. Ted nods a “Hey there” as the players
walk past. Eventually Roy LUMBERS IN. Ted nods to him. Roy
STARES at him, no expression, no nothing.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

(whispering to Beard)
Yeesh. Last time I saw eyes that
lifeless they were goin’ head to
head with Roy Scheider.

COACH BEARD
“Jaws”?

TED LASSO
No. But that works, too.

Beat.

COACH BEARD
What movie were you talking about?

TED LASSO
“All That Jazz”. Okay, I’m gonna
say somethin’--
(stepping forward)
Hey there, fellas. Please, don’t
stop what you’re doin’, I know
y’all wanna get outta here. My
name’s Ted Lasso, this here’s Coach
Beard. We just wanna say howdy, let
y’all know how excited we are to be
here, and that tomorrow we’re gonna
hit the ground run--
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 26.

KEELEY (O.S.)
Knock, knock.

Ted turns to see KEELEY JONES (31, British, former Page 3

girl, used to having her book judged by its cover) standing
in the doorway. She has her HAND OVER HER EYES.

KEELEY (CONT’D)
Is everyone decent?
(drops her hand)
Well, that’s disappointing.

A few chuckles. Keeley sees Ted, is IMMEDIATELY RESPECTFUL.

KEELEY (CONT’D)
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting.

TED LASSO
No, no, that’s okay. Can I help ya?

KEELEY
I’m here to pick up that one.

She POINTS TO JAMIE, now in sweats, ready to go. He stands up

and HEADS OUT without explanation.

JAMIE
You got my keys?

Keeley hands him CAR KEYS. He gestures for her to go first.

JAMIE (CONT’D)
After you.

KEELEY
Awww, aren’t you a gentleman.

JAMIE
Nah, I just wanna look at your ass.

KEELEY
(with a laugh)
Fuck off.

And they’re gone. Ted tries to regroup...

TED LASSO
Anywho... in conclusion... I’m
lookin’ forward to gettin’ to know
each of ya, and if we all do our
jobs, we should be in for a heckuva
ride. Anybody got any questions?

Roy Kent raises his hand. He wears only a towel.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 27.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Yes.

ROY KENT
That it?

TED LASSO
I suppose it is.

Roy IMMEDIATELY GETS UP and heads to the shower. OTHER

PLAYERS FOLLOW. Ted reacts. Nathan CALLS OFF to the group:

NATHAN
And just a friendly reminder: If
you plan to urinate in the
whirlpool, which you should not do,
please get in it first.

INT. TED’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Ted and Beard enter, it’s a simple office - TV, WHITEBOARD,

ETC. There are TWO DESKS up against OPPOSITE walls. Ted and
Beard LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER then PUSH the desks TOGETHER,
facing each other, like best friends in grade school.

Beard opens a DUFFEL BAG FULL OF POSTER TUBES. TED unzips a

BACKPACK, removing a CARD his son made. “Good luck Dad!” He
puts it on his desk, leans back in his chair.

TIME TRANSITION: WE REVEAL posters depicting great UNDERDOG

SPORTS MOMENTS and a framed print of John Wooden’s PYRAMID OF
SUCCESS now COVER THE WALLS. Beard puts up the last poster,
taking us to Ted, who’s doing the “head-nod-doze-off” in his
chair. Beard gently wiggles Ted’s foot.

COACH BEARD
Hey, Coach. Can’t sleep yet.

Ted STIRS, he’s a little terse:

TED LASSO
Aw c’mon man, don’t be a sleep cop.

COACH BEARD
I hate saying it as much as you
hate hearing it. You gotta hold off
or you’ll never adjust.

TED LASSO
Okay. Gotta keep the body movin’.

Ted stands, jumps, stretches the limbs a bit.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 28.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Where’s my poster for the locker
room?

Coach Beard hands him a rolled-up poster and a roll of tape.

INT. LOCKER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ted enters. Nathan finishes picking up WET TOWELS and TOSSING

them in the hamper. They’re alone.

TED LASSO
Everybody already head out?

NATHAN
I believe so. Unless a couple of
the lads are hiding somewhere,
waiting to scare me. Which they do
on occasion.

Nathan exits. Ted sees the perfect spot to hang the poster.
He grabs a chair to stand on, tears off 4 pieces of tape.
Once the poster is hung, Ted steps down to “check his work.”
We finally see what the poster says:

BELIEVE

Ted grimaces, realizing the poster is slightly crooked. He

then notices Jamie’s locker, and the topless photo of KEELEY.
He moves toward the photo, as WE HEAR TAPE BEING TORN.

CLOSE ON: Keeley’s photographed breasts, each one gets

covered with a piece of black tape, looking like the “censor
bars” of old.

KEELEY (O.S.)
Hello again.

Startled, Ted bumps his head on the inside of the locker.

(”Ow”). He turns to see the ACTUAL KEELEY. She LAUGHS.

KEELEY (CONT’D)
Oh my god, I’m sorry!

TED LASSO
(flustered)
No, no, that’s okay. I was just,
you know... makin’ some adjustments
to the locker room.

He gestures to the “BELIEVE” poster.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 29.

KEELEY
How lovely. Though I “believe” it’s
crooked.

TED LASSO
See, I was thinkin’ it was the room
that was all outta whack, but
you’re probably right. What brings
you back here?

KEELEY
Jamie left his phone in his locker.

TED LASSO
Why didn’t he come grab it?

KEELEY
Oh, well, he got stuck playing
“Fortnite” with some friends and
they were doing really well, so...
(realizes how that sounds)
Whatever, I don’t mind. I made him
let me take his Aston-Martin again.
That thing’s a bloody rocket.
(gesturing to the locker)
May I?

TED LASSO
Oh sorry, of course.

Ted heads back up onto the chair to fix the poster.

Keeley walks to the locker, looking for Jamie’s phone. While

searching, she notices the pieces of tape covering her
breasts on the photo. SHE SMILES. Then grabs Jamie’s phone.
She looks over at Ted working on the poster.

KEELEY
You wanna take that end lower.
(Ted does so)
A little lower.
(Again)
A weeee bit more.
(Once again)
Stop. Perfect.

TED LASSO
(hopping down)
Alright, nice teamwork.

Ted initiates a high-five. She grabs his hand and shakes it.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 30.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Okay, well, you’re gonna have to
work on your high-fives at some
point. Recognition of, execution
of, et cetera.

KEELEY
I’ll watch a youtube tutorial.
Anyway, it was nice meeting you...

TED LASSO
Ted.

KEELEY
Keeley.

TED LASSO
Nice meetin’ you too, Keeley.

She smiles and turns to leave. But then:

KEELEY
Oh, and welcome to England.

Keeley EXITS. Nathan crosses in the BG, carrying TOWELS.

TED LASSO
Need a hand, Nate?

NATHAN
No, thank you. I’ve got it.

Nathan crosses into the other room, as WE HEAR a LOUD NOISE

(“BOO!”) followed by a terrified:

NATHAN (O.S.) (CONT’D)

JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST!

TWO PLAYERS COME TEARING OUT, laughing hysterically. They

buzz by Ted and EXIT. Nathan ENTERS, calling after them:

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Well done boys! Got me again! Very
patient! Well done!

We cut WIDE and see that Keeley’s “help” with the poster made
Ted hang it CROOKED again, just in the opposite direction.

EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER - MAGIC HOUR

Ted and Beard head out, ROLLING their LUGGAGE. They each hold
a bottle of Nathan’s sports drink. He leaves with them.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 31.

TED LASSO
Thanks for the to-go bottles, Nate.

NATHAN
It’s designed so that as the ice
melts, it just gets better.

TED LASSO
I know this word gets thrown around
a lot over here, but I mean it:
Brilliant.

Rebecca stands by her chauffeured car, mid-conversation with

a distracted Higgins. She turns to Ted, and with a smile:

REBECCA
Ted! Already burning the midnight
oil, I see.

TED LASSO
Well, as the man once said: Harder
you work, luckier you get.

REBECCA
And you’re all set with a way home?

TED LASSO
Yes ma’am, all set. Nate here’s
gonna drop us at the tube station.
Then it’s just a couple blocks to
our apartments.

REBECCA
That’s absurd. My apologies, Ted.
(pointed, to Higgins)
We should’ve ordered him a car.

TED LASSO
No, that’s okay. Ya’ll have done
plenty. Plus it’ll give us a little
more local flavor. G’night y’all.

Ted and Beard go off toward NATHAN’S MINI. Higgins makes an

AWKWARD NOISE, trying to stifle acid reflux.

REBECCA
What are you doing?

HIGGINS
(apprehensive)
It’s just... Everything I’ve eaten
this afternoon feels like it’s
stuck right here...
(points to throat)
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 32.

HIGGINS (CONT'D)
I mean, he seems like such a nice
man...

Higgins looks over at Ted, who crams himself into the tiny
car. Higgins LOUDLY TRIES to CLEAR HIS THROAT, he can’t.

REBECCA
Obviously for my little plan to go
smoothly, I’ll need the support of
my new Director of Operations. This
is assuming that a promotion and
substantial pay rise would be of
interest to you, of course.

WE HEAR a CAR HORN. Ted PRETENDS to HONK a horn, as Nathan

ACTUALLY HONKS, giddy to finally be IN on a joke.

TED LASSO
(to Rebecca and Higgins)
This thing’s got an invisible
steering wheel. Just kiddin’.

REBECCA
You are a godsend, Ted Lasso.

Ted, Nathan and Beard DRIVE OFF as Rebecca gets in her car.
She rolls down her window.

REBECCA (CONT’D)
Well?

HIGGINS
I’d be honored, ma’am.

REBECCA
I had a hunch.

She rolls up her window, and drives off. Higgins, alone,

takes a deep breath and walks toward his shitty car.

INT. LONDON TUBE - EVENING

Ted and Beard sit side-by-side on a cramped tube car. Beard

sips his Gatorade, as Ted’s head drops, leaning on Beard’s
shoulder. Beard gently nudges Ted awake. “I’m up, I’m up.”

A woman we only see from the waist down, enters frame. Ted
notices her, stands up, and offers his seat.

She sits. While FEMININE in CARRIAGE and DRESS, she’s a

BEARDED MAN. She and Coach Beard share a friendly nod.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 33.

EXT. CROWN AND ANCHOR - NIGHT

Establishing shot of MAE’S PUB. We PRE-LAP TED:

TED LASSO (O.S.)

... No, no hints, I got it. The
four countries in England are...

INT. CROWN AND ANCHOR - CONTINUOUS

We find Beard and Ted eating at a table, pints half-full.

TED LASSO
Wales...
(Beard nods for each)
England again somehow, Scotland,
and... Ireland?

COACH BEARD
(no nod)
That’s a whole other conversation.

On the television we see former coach, GEORGE CARTRICK.

GEORGE (ON TV)

...Ted Lasso?

Beard turns to watch. Ted remains focused on his meal.

GEORGE (CONT’D)
Ted Lasso’s a joke. But not a funny
joke, like: “What’s the hardest
part about eating a vegetable?
Swallowing the wheelchair.” He’s
the opposite of that, ‘cause that’s
a joke that makes people happy.

COACH BEARD
Asshole.

TED LASSO
Hey, c’mon now. You know that
anytime someone is talkin’ ‘bout
somebody, that says a lot more
somethin’ about that “someone.”

COACH BEARD
(a bit ashamed)
Yeah.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 34.

TED LASSO
Well then, let us raise our glasses
and wish the best to George: a
fellow coach, a leader of men, a--

COACH BEARD
Asshole.

They both laugh and RAISE THEIR PINTS. Suddenly, Ted’s chair
is YANKED BACK, SCREECHING loudly. MAE NOTICES. Our three
LOCALS from earlier, now drunk and imposing, stand over Ted.

BAZ
You think you can come here and
fuck up our club?

TED LASSO
Whoa. How y’all doin’? I’m Ted Las--

JEREMY
We know who you are. Time for you
to get the fuck outta here, mate.

TED LASSO
Fellas, we’re just gonna finish our
meals then--

BAZ
(in Ted’s face)
Listen, you cunt. You don’t leave
right now, there’s gonna be a big
fuckin’ problem.

COACH BEARD
(casual but terrifying)
Not for us.

TED LASSO
Easy now, Coach.

Ted chooses to defuse the situation.

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

Tell ya what, gentlemen: We’re just
gonna get a couple doggie bags and
head out. That sound okay?

Mae steps in.

MAE
Nope. Stay put and eat the food we
made ya.
(turns to guys)
(MORE)
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 35.

MAE (CONT'D)
You’re banned for two weeks, Baz.
That goes for all three of ya.

PAUL
I didn’t even say nothin’!

MAE
You heard me! Now go.

The guys MOVE BACK to the bar to grab their coats.

MAE (CONT’D)
And leave a fuckin’ tip.

They all do so. Mae comes back to Ted and Beard’s table.

MAE (CONT’D)
I was born in 1940; the day before
the Blitz began. Since that moment,
I’ve witnessed young men shipped
off to war, the Smog taking the
lives of thousands, the Kray Twins
running our streets, IRA bombings,
that cow Thatcher, the riots, the
fires, The Spice Girls, not to
mention the breathtaking stupidity
of this entire Brexit fiasco, which
brings us to now.

TED LASSO
I’m sorry ma’am, but what does all
that have to do with me?

MAE
We’ve gotten through worse.

TED LASSO
Thank you, ma’am.

MAE
Tonight’s on me.

COACH BEARD
Great fish and chips, ma’am.

Mae eats one of his chips.

MAE
I know.

She walks off.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 36.

EXT. CROWN AND ANCHOR - LATER

Ted and Beard exit with their luggage. The entrance to TED’S
APARTMENT is only a FEW DOOR FRONTS DOWN.

TED LASSO
This is me. You good?

COACH BEARD
Yeah, I’m just a few doors down.
G’night Coach.

TED LASSO
G’night Coach.

Ted enters his brownstone.

INT. TED’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Ted OPENS the door. His HAND SEARCHES the wall for a light
switch, NOTHING. He turns on the FLASHLIGHT on his phone and
SPOTS the switch at the END of a hallway.

TED LASSO
(re: switch)
Well that’s just a lack of
thoughtful planning.

He ENTERS, and FLIPS the lights on.

MUSIC CUE: “Opus 26” by Dustin O’Halloran (No pressure, but

we’d really love it if you played this as you read the rest)

Ted’s new home is small, but not cramped. We start in the

LIVING ROOM - a couch, side tables, an easy chair that faces
a decent television. WET WIPES and a SMALL HUMIDIFIER sit on
a coffee table, along with a gift basket of local fare. A
card reads: “Welcome Coach Tim Lasso.” Ted pulls out a bag of
CIRCULAR CHIPS, looks at the label:

TED LASSO (CONT’D)

“Hula Hoops”. Don’t mind if I do.

Ted tries one. Yum! He mows through them as he enters the

DINING ROOM. The table seats four but has a SINGLE PLACE
SETTING. Ted flips another light switch, revealing the
kitchen. It’s serviceable. Next comes a tiny hallway: To the
right, the BATHROOM. To the left: the BEDROOM, which is
actually quite nice: Decent closet space, a chest of drawers,
and a comfortable mattress, thank goodness. There’s ANOTHER
DOOR in the corner. Ted OPENS it and finds that it leads back
into the living room. “Huh.” Ted checks his watch, then does
some QUICK MATH on his fingers.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 37.

IN CUTS: We see Ted UNPACK his suitcase; putting things in

drawers, hanging clothes in the closet. He takes a SHOWER.
Brushes his teeth. Throws on some PITT STATE SWEATS and makes
his way back to the living room. His phone DINGS; commencing
a TEXT EXCHANGE with Coach Beard:

COACH BEARD: here ya go coach nghub_4199/password

TED LASSO: Thanks Coach. But what’s the password?
COACH BEARD: the password is password all lower case.
TED LASSO: Hope we don’t get hacked! Would hate for folks to
find out about your extensive collection of kitten GIFs.
COACH BEARD: lol

He opens his laptop and searches for the wifi signal. Two
dozen router names appear: some silly, some filthy, some...
like Ted’s. He opens up Skype, and clicks on the only saved
contact: “HOME.” The computer RINGS. And RINGS. Ted appears
anxious for the first time since we’ve met him. And then--

YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

(from computer)
Hello? Dad?

TED LASSO
Hey buddy! Can ya hear me okay?

YOUNG BOY (V.O.) TED LASSO (CONT'D)

Dad? ...Dad, you there? Hello? Son? I can’t see you.

WOMAN’S VOICE (V.O.)

What’s wrong?

YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

Dad’s gotta a crappy sig--

Ted walks a lap around the apartment with his laptop.

TED LASSO YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

How about now, any better? I can barely hear h--

WOMAN’S VOICE (V.O.)

Just have him call the land--

YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

But I wanna see his face.

TED LASSO
Helloooo?

YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

Dad? Dad. Call the landline.

TED LASSO
But I wanna see your face.
Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 38.

YOUNG BOY (V.O.)

Just--land line--okay?

Back in the living room, Ted calls. We don’t hear the other
side.

TED LASSO
Hey big guy! Sorry about that...
how ya doin’, how was school today?
...Oh right. I forgot, ha. I tell
ya, I got that ‘jet lag’ stuff real
bad, feel a little loopy... Haha,
yeah you could say that... What’s
that now...oh, yeah, it’s good, ya
know...no, that all starts tomorrow
...So hey, me and your mom are
gonna find a time for y’all to come
out and visit, how’s that sound...
ha, well I don’t think we can pull
that off, but don’t you worry none,
we’ll figure it out...No no, that’s
okay, go do your thing...is Mom
there...that’d be great, thanks...
(clears throat)
...perfect, thanks big guy, miss
you... I love you too...
(Ted smiles; and then)
Hi! How ya doin...well, so far so
good... ...definitely gonna take a
little gettin’ used to but I think
once we get goin’ it’s gonna go...
Yeah, no, that’s true, how ‘bout
you, how was work...hey, that’s
great, about time...
(looks around apartment)
It’s actually pretty darn nice.
Would definitely benefit from a
woman’s touch...speaking of which,
have you thought at all about when
you and the big guy might wanna
come visit... right...you’re right
...absolutely, it’s a process...No,
I do, I’m sorry... Yes, whatever ya
need...and I am giving it to you...
right, and to me...what now...oh no
that’s okay...yeah, I’m tired
anyway... Yeah, okay...you too...
And hey, Michelle, I love you...no,
you don’t have to say it, that’s
okay... really...okay, good night.

Ted hangs up and takes a moment.

Ted Lasso "Pilot" 2.1.19 39.

INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Ted, finally in bed, pulls up the covers and turns off a

bedside lamp. It’s COMPLETELY BLACK.

TED LASSO
Shoot. Now I can’t sleep.

FIN.