By Panto Archive

Cast (In order of appearance)

Man in the Mirror
Queen Morgiana
Snow White
Herman the Henchman
Nurse Nelly
Prince Harry

Dwarfs – Chief, Tick, Tock, Bish, Bash, Loopy & Doopy

Plus Ensemble

1
ACT 1

PRESET - THE LAND OF ONCE UPON A TIME (FRONT CLOTH)

OVERTURE

CLOTH OUT TO REVEAL;

PROLOGUE – BEHIND THE MIRROR – STAR CLOTH
ENSEMBLE STAND READY FOR;

INTO SONG: “MIRROR MIRROR” AS THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

APPEARS IN A LARGE MIRROR CENTRE STAGE.

SONG: “MIRROR MIRROR” (Dollar) - MAN IN THE MIRROR &

ENSEMBLE
MAN IN THE MIRROR:

If I was to tell you how I feel

That my love was silent that my heart was real
I've been looking at you, you've been looking at me
And I want you to know that I like what I see

MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE:

Mirror mirror, mon amour
Send me what I'm waiting for
Pick me up, an image so fine, so fine
Mirror mirror, mon amour
Give me what I'm waiting for
Set my heart on making you mine
MAN IN THE MIRROR:

In a moments anger I will freeze the frame

But my feelings for ya how they will remain
I've been looking at you you've been looking at me
And I want you to know that I like what I see

MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE:

Mirror mirror, mon amour
Send me what I'm waiting for
Pick me up, an image so fine, so fine

Mirror mirror mon amour

Give me what I'm waiting for
Set my heart on making you mine

MAN IN THE MIRROR:

2
My mirror always echoes
My mirror always echoes
My mirror always echoes

MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE:

Mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror

Only in my mirror
Mirror mirror, mon amour
Send me what I'm waiting for
Pick me up, an image so fine, so fine
Mirror mirror, mon amour
Give me what I'm waiting for
Set my heart on making you mine
Mirror, mirror, mon amour is in my head
Mirror, mirror, mon amour is in my head
Mirror, mirror, mon amour is in my head
Mirror, mirror, mon amour is in my head
So fine
My mirror always echoes
My mirror always echoes

SONG ENDS

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Wow! Look at you lot. I thought I sparkled but you
outshine the lot! Hello (ENTER NAME OF TOWN)! You may
have heard of me, I’m the Man in the Mirror.
QUICK BLAST OF ‘MAN IN THE MIRROR’ (MICHAEL JACKSON)

No! Not that one. Anyway whenever I come on I’m gonna shout
out ‘Hey you guys dazzle and Shine’ and you’re gonna shout
back ‘Hey Mirror you’re looking just fine’ Will you do that
for me? (Yes) You sure? (Yes)I hope you lot warm up a bit! Ok
let’s give this a go ‘Hey you guys Dazzle and Shine’

(Pause for audience reaction)

Did you do it? Oh I didn’t hear you, let’s try that again. Hey
you guys dazzle and shine

(Pause for audience reaction)

It’s a start I suppose, things can only get better! try to

remember it though.

Now, as the mysterious Man in the Mirror, that’ I am all

seeing and all knowing, I know everything, I should be on
Eggheads! But that would just be Pointless! (Gesturing at
audience member) It’s ok stay in your seat madam…no need to
give me the Chase! But be careful with that seat, I think you

3
are on the Tipping Point! Haha, see what I did there, never
mind. Where was I? oh yes, I see and know everything, apart
from when you are in the toilet, I don’t wanna see that cos
that’s just wrong! And smelly. I keep losing track,
concentrate mirror! So this is the story of Snow White, a
beautiful princess who has had a tragic life so far. I don’t
want to bring things down but her parents were sadly killed
when she was very young and she was brought up her father’s
second wife, a nasty, ugly, jealous and villainous women, no
not Katie price! She is the Wicked Queen, Morgiana, ruler of
this land and I belong to her!

MORGIANA
(Shouting from off stage)
Mirror!
MAN IN THE MIRROR
Oh dear, that’s her now, I best get back in my mirror!

THERE’S A FLASH OF LIGHTS AND WHEN THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL

MORGIANA IS STANDING ON STAGE. THE MAN IN THE MIRROR HAS TAKEN
HIS PLACE BACK IN THE MIRROR.

MORGIANA

My word, what is this? Ugly day? Just look at the state of

this lot! They look like the left overs from the bargain bin
at the Primark Sale! Oh look, there’s even riff-raff at the
back, in the cheap seats, paupers! Oh you can boo me all you
want, cos I am boooo-tiful, you’re all just totally well jeal.

TARGETING A WOMEN IN THE FRONT ROW

Madame! Look at your hair. Is that on purpose? It looks like

something the cat coughed up! Where did you get that done, the
Butchers? Anyway, I can’t stand here conversing with you rough
smelly types all day, there’s evil to be done! And I’m so good
at it

(TURNS TO FACE MIRROR)

Mirror, it’s you I want and the truth I seek, Mirror Mirror on
the Wall, Who’s the one they all adore the most beautiful and
fairest of them all?

MAN IN THE MIRROR

The truth oh Queen is here to see,
You’re the hottest babe in the land if you ask me.

MORGIANA
I knew it, just what I wanted to hear it. Thank you Mirror

4
MAN IN THE MIRROR
However...

QUEEN MORGIANA
However?
MAN IN THE MIRROR
However, when you are there on the top of the hill,
Prepare to take one mighty fall.

You may not be the fairest of them all for long.

Your stepdaughter Snow White turns eighteen today

QUEEN MORGIANA
That girl will never take my glory. I’m the fairest in this
and all the lands – past, present and future! And when the
day comes that you tell me different it’s the very day Snow
White will lose her head. (Boo)

QUEEN MORGIANA EXITS WHILST LAUGHING EVILY

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Wow! Well that was cheerful! Enough of this, let’s get
this party started! Hey you guys dazzle and shine (Hey
Mirror you’re looking just fine)

Now let me transport you to the castle courtyard, where

a certain Princess (who happens to be celebrating her
birthday on this very day) is taking her daily walk
around the grounds, let our fairy-tale begin!

FRONT CLOTH OUT TO REVEAL VILLAGE SET

SCENE 1 - THE CASTLE COURTYARD

SONG ‘’SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT” (From Neverland) - SNOW WHITE

AND ENSEMBLE

SNOW WHITE
I CAN FEEL IT:
ANTICIPATION IN THE AIR.
SOMETHING JUST BEYOND COMPARE TO ANY OTHER NIGHT,
I SWEAR.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART IS BEATING MUCH TOO FAST.
NO MORE LOOKING TO THE PAST.

5
COULD THIS BE THE ONE AT LAST?
SNOW WHITE (ENSEMBLE)
OH, (AH) I'VE WAITED SO MANY YEARS JUST TO KNOW, KNOW WHERE
I'M GOING TO.
(AH) AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GO OUT AND DISCOVER, START THE
JOURNEY, (DISCOVER, START THE JOURNEY) FIND OUT WHAT'S AHEAD
OF ME! (AH!)
ALL
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT THAT WE JUST WON'T FORGET.
HOPING IT'S NOT OVER YET.

SNOW WHITE
WIN OR LOSE, OUR MINDS ARE SET.
ENSEMBLE
AH!
SNOW WHITE
'CAUSE THERE IS
ALL
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT, OUR STORY HAS BEGUN.
ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE.
SNOW WHITE
NO TURNING BACK, IT MUST BE DONE.
THERE'S ONLY
ALL
ONE NIGHT TO BEGIN OUR WONDERFUL, EXCITING JOURNEY.
ENSEMBLE
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SNOW WHITE (ENSEMBLE)
I'LL ASK THE STARS UP ABOVE, WILL I FIND MY TRUE LOVE?
ALL THE WONDERFUL PLACES TO SEE! ON DREAMY ROMANCES,
I'M TAKING MY CHANCES.
IT'S FINALLY TIME TO BREAK FREE.
SUCH BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO DISCOVER (AH), AND MY FUTURE THAT I
MUST UNCOVER. (AH)
I’VE MADE UP MY MIND, THERE'S A DESTINY I'VE GOT TO FIND..
IT'S WHY THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
ALL
YEAH!
'CAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT THAT WE JUST WON'T
FORGET.
HOPING IT'S NOT OVER YET.
SNOW WHITE:
WIN OR LOSE, OUR MINDS ARE SET.
ENSEMBLE
AH!
SNOW WHITE
'CAUSE THERE IS
ALL
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT, OUR STORY HAS BEGUN.
ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE.

6
SNOW WHITE
NO TURNING BACK, IT MUST BE DONE.
THERE'S ONLY
ALL
ONE NIGHT TO BEGIN OUR WONDERFUL, EXCITING JOURNEY.
ENSEMBLE
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SNOW WHITE
IT'S TIME TO
ALL:
SEE THE WORLD AND FIND TRUE LOVE IN THIS AMAZING STORY.

ENSEMBLE
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
ALL:
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NIGHT!

(Song ends)

SNOW WHITE
(To the audience)
What a wonderful way to start such a special day, hello boys
and girls. (Hello)

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1

Happy Birthday Snow White!

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2
Ssshhh…We’re not meant to say anything about that!
SNOW WHITE
About what? my birthday?
ENSEMBLE
Ssshhh.
SNOW WHITE
Why?
COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 3
Queen Morgiana has announced today that it is against the
law to wish you a happy birthday Snow White. We are all to
simply ignore it, anyone who mentions it could be sent to
the tower, or even worse (Enter name of neighbouring
town)!

7
SNOW WHITE
Surely she didn’t mean it, did she? Well I’m not going to
let her spoil my day, it’s my 18th after all and if I
can’t celebrate here then I’ll sneak off away from these
castle walls and enjoy it somewhere else if I really have
to

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 3

No Snow White, you will get in awful trouble, you know how
evil she is

SNOW WHITE

Only if I get caught, see you later guys! Goodbye (bye!)

SNOW WHITE EXITS. A FANFARE PLAYS.

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1
(Looking off)
Oh no, It’s Herman - Morgiana’s Henchman!

HERMAN ENTERS.

HERMAN

Hello everyone. No need for a round of applause, it’s only me,

please don’t stand, stay in your seats, oh you did.

Have you heard the news…Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty
Dumpty had a great fall, all the Queens horses and all the
Queen’s men…had egg butties! Egg butties, hahahaha! Oh, just
me then. I’m glad you are all here anyway, her Maj has sent me
down here, amongst the common people, to check that you are
obeying her new laws. Especially the one about the you know
what

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

What?

HERMAN

What?

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

8
You know what?

HERMAN

Do I? Ohhh yeah, Snow White’s Birthday

ALL

Sshhhhhhh!

HERMAN

She has also told me to take away any sweets and treats from
the boys and girls out there, but I don’t think they have any

(to the audience)

You don’t have any do you? (No)

I hope you are not telling me lies! She can sniff out a
Toblerone at 40 paces that one!

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 3

Herman we much preferred you when you were the court jester
and everyone’s friend

HERMAN

Well I am a natural entertainer but I can’t help that, I do

what the Queen says and she wants me as her E P A, her
executive personal assistant, her second in command, yeah
basically her dogsbody, I am her number 2! but I ain’t
complaining, what’s the point, nobody listens, don’t feel you
have to give me any sympathy or anything. Where is the
Princess Snow White anyway?

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

We haven’t seen her all morning Herman, she must be in her

room or out playing Pokemon Go

HERMAN

Are you sure? You wouldn’t be telling me porky pies would you?
I smell a rat!

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

Wrong panto, that’s Dick Whittington!

HERMAN

9
I better go and find her, just to make sure she isn’t trying
to celebrate. Just remember, no cake, no balloons, no card, no
presents, no bumps, nothing, that’s the law and that is the
final word on the matter. Finite. I’ll be keeping an eye on
you lot! Don’t make me have to report you to the Queen, you
know I don’t want to but I am her loyal citizen and she does
pay my wages. Laters peops!

HERMAN EXITS

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1

He’s not so bad, especially when he is away from Queen

Morgiana

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

Here comes someone to put a smile on our faces, it’s Nurse

Nelly! Look out everyone!

AN AMBULANCE SIREN SOUNDS, LIGHTS FLASH BLUE AND NELLY ENTERS

ON A SCOOTER WHILST THE THEME TO CASUALTY PLAYS

NURSE NELLY

That used to be an ambulance ya know, Government cutbacks!

I’ll be on heelies next. Anyway hello boys, girls, mums, dads,
nans, grandads, aunts, uncles, alternative family units and
anyone else I may have missed, I am the ravishing Nurse
Nurafen Nightnurse Nelly, you can call me Nelly.

Just look at you all, you’re gorgeous (Pointing to an audience

member) you’re gorgeous (points to another audience member)
and you’re gorgeous (points to another audience member) and
you’re (points to a final audience member) here too! Oh well!
How do I look? (Gorgeous) Who said fat?

Now, I work for Her Royal Highness Queen Morgiana and I live
here at the castle and oh it is good to see you all, well most
of you

(Glares at a man in front row)

Maybe not you!

(Finds another man in front row)

But most definitely you, hello handsome, no don’t look away,

don’t make this any worse on yourself, it could be a long
night for you. What’s your name darling? (pause for re-action)
I’m sorry? (wait for reply) No, I heard you the first time,
I’m just sorry, Oh I think this could be the start of
something very special between the two us, don’t even think

10
about moving seats cos I’ll find you! But this one’s for you
tiger, hit it boys!

THE FEMALE ENSEMBLE ENTER.

Song: “DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND” (Meghan Trainor) - NURSE NELLY AND

FEMALE ENSEMBLE

NURSE NELLY
DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND, HERE'S A FEW THINGS YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW
IF YOU WANNA BE MY ONE AND ONLY ALL MY LIFE: TAKE ME ON A
DATE,
I DESERVE IT, BABE.
AND DON'T FORGET THE FLOWERS EV'RY ANNIVERSARY.
'CAUSE IF YOU TREAT ME RIGHT,
I'LL BE THE PERFECT WIFE.
BUYING GROCERIES, BUY, BUYING WHAT YOU NEED.
NURSE NELLY (GIRLS)
YOU GOT THAT 9 TO 5, BUT, BABY, SO DO I. (OOH)
SO DON'T BE THINKING I'LL BE HOME
AND BAKING APPLE PIES. (OOH)
I NEVER LEARNED TO COOK, (OOH) BUT I CAN WRITE A HOOK. (OOH)
SING ALONG WITH ME, SING, SING ALONG WITH ME.
NURSE NELLY
YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW TO TREAT ME LIKE A LADY,
EVEN WHEN I'M ACTING CRAZY, TELL ME
EV'RYTHING'S ALRIGHT.
DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND,
HERE'S A FEW THINGS YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW IF
YOU WANNA BE MY ONE AND ONLY ALL MY LIFE.
DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND, IF YOU WANNA GET THAT SPECIAL LOVIN',
TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL EACH AND EV'RY NIGHT.
NURSE NELLY (GIRLS)
AFTER EV'RY FIGHT, JUST APOLOGISE. (OOH)
AND MAYBE THEN I'LL LET YOU TRY AND ROCK MY BODY RIGHT. (OOH)
EVEN IF I WAS WRONG, (OOH) YOU KNOW I'M NEVER WRONG. (OOH)
WHY DISAGREE?
WHY, WHY DISAGREE?
NURSE NELLY
YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW TO TREAT ME LIKE A LADY,
EVEN WHEN I'M ACTING CRAZY, TELL ME
EV'RYTHING'S ALRIGHT.
DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND,
HERE'S A FEW THINGS YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW IF
YOU WANNA BE MY ONE AND ONLY ALL MY LIFE.

11
DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND, IF YOU WANNA GET THAT SPECIAL LOVIN',
TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL EACH AND EV'RY NIGHT.

SONG ENDS
THE FEMALE ENSEMBLE EXIT.

NURSE NELLY

Oh I do love a good wedding ya know, and so have all my

previous husbands. It was the drink ya know, the drink that
killed my last husband, he was hit by a lorry full of
Heineken! Oh how I mourned, for hours and hours.

What a day this is turning out to be. It’s just a shame we

can’t celebrate the you know what, I can’t even bring myself
to say the word birthday, oh look I just did! I even had a
special cake made for the occasion, I would eat it myself but
I don’t want to ruin my schoolgirl figure
(LOOKS ANGRILY AT AUDIENCE MEMBER)
What do you mean it’s too late, rude! The cheek of it, why if
it wasn’t for Snow White’s birthday I’d come down there and…

ENTER HERMAN

HERMAN

Who mentioned a birthday? Nobody mention birthday, everyone

stop mentioning birthday…there is no birthday, move along
there’s nothing to see here. Nelly! You have been warned, you
should know better

HERMAN WAGGLES HIS FINGER AT NELLY

NURSE NELLY

You want to be careful I don’t bite that off. Don’t you talk
to me like that Herman! I used to change your nappies!
Granted, you were 24! You were a horrible child too, ya know
he used to go out and play and get all dirty, I’d have to take
him in and give him a bath, actually you look a bit grubby
now, have you got time for a quick hose down!

HERMAN
No,I had a bath only last…last..October!

NURSE NELLY

12
I don’t know how you manage to do so many stupid things in a
day

HERMAN

I get up very early

NURSE NELLY

Oh grow up stupid!

HERMAN

I did grow up stupid

NURSE NELLY

Just be careful you or I’ll turn ugly

HERMAN

Wow that was quick!

NURSE NELLY

Boys and girls he used to go to the sweety shop and buy a bag
of Jelly babies just so he could bite all of their heads off.
Isn’t that mean? Still at least he doesn’t do that with real
children, not like Queen Morgi-wotsit

LIGHTS FLASH AND THERE IS A LOUD THUNDER SOUND

QUEEN MORGIANA ENTERS

HERMAN

Look out it’s Meghan Markle!

NURSE NELLY

Oh, your majesticles, we were just talking about you!

QUEEN MORGIANA

Good, it’s when people stop talking that I’ll worry. I’ve not
seen that ugly little step daughter of mine all day, where is
the brat?

HERMAN

13
I’ll text her and find out where she is

QUEEN MORIGANA

You can’t do that you silly fool

HERMAN

Why?

QUEEN MORGIANA

Cos mobile phones haven’t been invented yet! That’s why

HERMAN

Good point, I’ll shout instead ‘OI SNOW WHITE, COOOOOEEEEEEE’

QUEEN MORGIANA

Oh it’s all so vulgar, and I am unanimous in that!

SNOW WHITE ENTERS

SNOW WHITE

Hello stepmother, hello everyone. Stepmother, why have you

banned anyone from celebrating my…

(Interrupting)

QUEEN MORGIANA

Don’t you dare, don’t you dare say the word Snow White! Why
would anyone want to celebrate another year of having you
around, trust me dear, everyone would rather forget. You need
to remember your place you annoying, snivelling, ungrateful
brat, if it wasn’t for me taking such good care of you after
your poor father, The King, passed away then you would be
nothing! But I do have a treat for you, take this

(Hands Snow White a tooth brush)

Now go and clean my private bathroom, with this! Oh, I’m not
that evil though, (Shouting) NELLY! You can help her. Now
clear off the pair of you.

NURSE NELLY

Oh what a liberty! And it’s my morning off. I work my fingers

to the bone for you and what do I get?

HERMAN

14
Boney fingers?

NURSE NELLY

Come on Snow White, we know our place

QUEEN MORGIANA

Just you watch yourself Nelly, or it’s off with your head

NURSE NELLY

You can’t do that, I’d have nowhere to put my hat!

NURSE NELLY AND SNOW WHITE EXIT (NELLY SINGS I’M A PINK TOOTH
BRUSH, YOU’RE A BLUE TOOTHBRUSH)

QUEEN MORGIANA

(TO AUDIENCE)

And as for you lot, go get pretty! You offend me.

QUEEN MORGIANA AND HERMAN EXIT

SCENE 2 – INFRONT OF THE CASTLE

PYRO STAGE RIGHT AS;

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR ENTERS ON FOOT.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Hey you guys dazzle and shine (Hey mirror you’re looking
just fine)Argggh, you remembered!

I’ve stepped away from the mirror for a minute, it is

awfully cramped, how that genie lasted so long in a lamp
I’ll never know! Anyway, let’s re-group and update, gather
close, woooooooooh not that close! Back up back up. So
Morgiana is a real meanie and things are not going so
great for poor Snow White but don’t lose hope, things will
take a turn for our young heroine for I can see someone
very special approaching the castle and if I’m not
mistaken it’s Prince Harry of Fortuna, I think he could be
just what the doctor, or Nurse Nelly, ordered! Prince

15
Harry and Snow White were childhood friends until Morgiana
stopped the Princess from leaving the castle grounds after
her father died. They were destined to be together but I
wonder if they will even recognise each other…let’s see
how this pans out.

WITH A FLASH OF LIGHT THE MAN IN THE MIRROR EXITS

PRINCE HARRY ENTERS

PRINCE HENRY ENTERS LOOKING LOST AND CONFUSED. NURSE NELLY

ENTERS FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE STAGE.

NURSE NELLY

Well look at this, it’s David Beckham! hello handsome (LOOKS

TO MAN IN AUDIENCE FROM START OF PERFORMANCE)
Don’t be jealous you…there’s plenty to go around!

(TO PRINCE HARRY)

Hello you hunky spunky monkey, can I be of any assistance in

any way and I do (GETTING VERY CLOSE TO THE PRINCE) mean in
any way… at all

PRINCE HARRY

Please madam, personal space! Social distancing! Any closer

and I’ll have to take out an injunction. You may be able to
help, it’s been many years since I was in this area and I fear
I am a little lost

NURSE NELLY

Don’t you worry, no need to fear when Nelly is near. I’ll

point you in the right direction

PRINCE HARRY

I am Prince Harry of Fortuna

NURSE NELLY

You’re not!

PRINCE HARRY

I am

16
NURSE NELLY

You can’t be

PRINCE HARRY

I can

NURSE NELLY

My little Harrykins, little Harrypoos. Oh I used to look after

you when you were just an ickle lickle boy, when your father
used to visit the Kingdom and you used to play with Snow
White.

PRINCE HARRY

Of course, Nurse Nelly, why you don’t look a day over….a day
over, you don’t look a day over your age! Its Snow White I
have travelled so far to see, it’s been so long but I know
today is her very special day and I wanted to surprise my old
friend, I often think of her

NURSE NELLY

She will be over the moon to see you, a friendly face is just
what she needs especially today

ENTER HERMAN

HERMAN

What Nurse Nelly means, is thank you for your time but the
Princess is unable to see you and your way home is that way, I
bid you good day (Puts fingers in mouth and whistles) Taxi!
Taxi for the man in tights!

NURSE NELLY

Don’t be so rude you! Where did you spring from, now listen to
me flappy ears, don’t you be creeping up on me and poking your
snout in where it’s not wanted, I’ll have you know this is a
Prince and he does not have to listen to you

HERMAN

Be careful Nelly, a few words from me to the Queen and it’s

the tower for you, solitary confinement

NURSE NELLY

Don’t you go all Cell Block H on me, besides I’m not sharing
with that Rapunzel, hair everywhere! you might turn the
villagers into jelly but you don’t scare me Herman

17
PRINCE HARRY

I hate to interrupt..

HERMAN

Then don’t! this is between me and Florence Nightingale here

SNOW WHITE ENTERS

SNOW WHITE

Oh there you are Herman

HERMAN

Hello Sleeping Beauty

NURSE NELLY

It’s Snow White you fool

HERMAN

Sorry, hello Snow White you fool

SNOW WHITE

Oh Herman! my Stepmother is looking for you, someone has

broken into the Royal sweet cupboard and taken all of the
Toblerones, she’s livid, she wants you to investigate at once

HERMAN

Thanks Aladdin, I’ll go now

HERMAN LEAVES AND AS HE MOVES SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE HARRY’S

GAZE MEET

NURSE NELLY
(TO PRINCE HARRY, PRODUCING A TOBLERONE FROM HER POCKET)
Toblerone?

PRINCE HARRY

Snow White, it is you isn’t it, it’s really you, you are so
beautiful

NURSE NELLY

Talk about not wasting any time!

SNOW WHITE

18
Harry! It’s you. I don’t believe it, my old friend.

NURSE NELLY

(to the audience)

Well this seems like a perfect place to end the show, a prince
and a princess reunited, no need to go any further, thanks for
coming everyone, please remember to take your litter with you
as you leave and thank the usherettes on the way out, merry
Christmas, happy new year see ya next time, ta ra!

NURSE NELLY EXITS

PRINCE HARRY

She hasn’t changed, as mad a box of frogs still. I can’t

believe I left it so long to come back here, just look at you

SNOW WHITE

Sometimes I feel like Nelly is my only friend

PRINCE HARRY

Not anymore Snow White, I am here now and I am your very best
friend and I don’t think I ever want to even spend a single
day away from you, not now that I have found you again.

Song: “That’s What Friends are For”

PRINCE HARRY

And I Never thought I’d feel this way

And as far as I’m concerned
I’m Glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

SNOW WHITE

And if I should ever go away

Well, then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember

SNOW WHITE & PRINCE HARRY

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

19
SNOW WHITE

Well you came in loving me

And now there’s so much more I see
And so by the way
I thank you

PRINCE HARRY

Oh and then for the times when we’re apart

Well then close your eyes and know
The words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE HARRY

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

MUSIC CONTINUES BUT QUIETER, IN BACKGROUND, SINGING STOPS

SNOW WHITE

But it’s no good, The Queen will never allow us to see each
other, she has done the most horrid things, I’m not even
allowed a birthday

PRINCE HARRY

Things will be different now, now I am here, nothing or nobody

will ever keep us apart again, this I promise you

SINGING RE-COMMENCES AND MUSIC ROUSES

PRINCE HARRY
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

PRINCE HARRY & SNOW WHITE

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

20
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

SONG ENDS

SNOW WHITE
Oh Harry, It’s my Stepmother, She says I don’t deserve a
birthday, she won’t allow any celebrating or any presents

PRINCE HENRY
Well I’ll be talking to Queen Morgiana. I won’t have you
treated so badly, it's not right. And I am here to say -
Happy Birthday Snow White, you have grown into the most
beautiful woman.

SNOW WHITE
Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself!

Cloth in

SCENE 3 – QUEEN MORGIANA’S PARLOUR

QUEEN MORGIANA
(To the servants)
I have just been informed that I have a very special guest
arriving any minute. A Prince no less, he has requested an
audience with me. He must have heard about my
extraordinary beauty and has come to ask for my hand in
marriage. Oh but what’s a girl to do, should I shouldn’t
I, decisions decisions! One of you had better put a call
in to the (Enter name of local newspaper) and tell them
they’ll have news of a Royal Wedding to put on their front
page tomorrow morning

SERVANTS EXIT

THERE IS A FANFARE AS PRINCE HARRY ENTERS.

PRINCE HENRY
Good morrow Queen Morgiana. I am Prince Harry of Fortuna
QUEEN MORGIANA
Prince Harry - welcome - this is all such a surprise, you’re
younger than I thought you would be but I am a bit of a cougar

21
PRINCE HARRY
I bring greetings to you on behalf of my father - the King
of Fortuna

QUEEN MORGIANA

Lovely I’m sure. I hope you don’t mind me receiving you in

my private parlour like this. I thought maybe we could
become better acquainted if we had some time alone. Now how
can I help you my Prince? You’ve obviously travelled so
very far just to see me.

PRINCE HARRY
To be honest it is Snow White I came to see
QUEEN MORGIANA
What, well why settle for second best when the very best is on
offer right here instead, who wants fish fingers when you can
have poached salmon
PRINCE HARRY
I came to wish the Princess a happy birthday but
now I want to ask for Snow White’s hand in
marriage.

QUEEN MORGIANA
Oh Harry - of course I’ll marry you

PRINCE HARRY
What? No, not you, I wish to marry Snow White, your much
younger stepdaughter

QUEEN MORGIANA
What? Have you been to Specsavers?

PRINCE HARRY
I said I wish to marry Snow White. I have come to ask
your permission but with or without it we will be wed

QUEEN MORGIANA
Oh what wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, did I say wonderful?
Wonderful news…the kingdom will be thrilled, just thrilled.
Now we must arrange a party to celebrate, a joint
celebration of Snow White’s Birthday and now her

22
engagement too. Now you go through that door over there
and stay there until I send for you, I want to keep you
hidden and out of the way whilst I sort everything out,
Snow White will be so surprised, you don’t want to ruin
it, so stay in there

PRINCE HARRY EXITS

He wants to marry that ugly child, the man must be blind!

I’ll never let it happen, Snow White is just so very ugly
isn’t she boys and girls

(Oh no she isn’t)

Oh yes she is

(Oh no she isn’t)

Oh yes she is

(Oh no she isn’t)

Oh..shut your cakeholes!

MIRROR, MIRROR! Get here at once

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR ENTERS INSIDE OF HIS MIRROR

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Hey you guys dazzle and shine (Hey Mirror you’re looking
just fine)

You bellowed oh mighty one?

QUEEN MORGIANA

23
I did, and you can stop milking your part with that
dazzle and shine stuff too!

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them

all?

MAN IN THE MIRROR

For as sure as the day follows on from the night, The
most beautiful one in the land now is Snow White.

QUEEN MORGIANA

What! that can’t be

MAN IN THE MIRROR

The most beautiful one in the land is Snow White.

QUEEN MORGIANA
How dare you! How can she be more beautiful than me? You
must be broken! Any more of that and I’ll hold back on
your windowlene!

MAN IN THE MIRROR

I speak the truth your Highness

QUEEN MORGIANA

It might just be worth the 7 years bad luck to break you

into teeny tiny pieces, be gone, get out of my site

MAN IN THE MIRROR EXITS

Herman, where are you Herman?

HERMAN RUSHES IN

HERMAN

I’m here, don’t panic, everyone calm down! Yes your

loudness?

QUEEN MORGIANA

24
I have a job for you

HERMAN

Don’t tell me, you want me to organise the Princess a party,

I’ll get onto it now, shall we hire a band, she likes steps,
I’ll hire steps (Singing) ‘5,6,7,8 my scottin’ baby’

QUEEN MORGIANA

No, it’s just a simple little task. I just want you to

take Snow White out into the forest and kill her

HERMAN
What?

QUEEN MORGIANA
I want you to kill Snow White
HERMAN

Now, I hate to go all industrial union like on you but I don’t

think that was in my job description

QUEEN MORGIANA

Don’t make me repeat myself Herman

HERMAN

What?

QUEEN MORGIANA

I said, don’t make me repeat myself

HERMAN

You just did

QUEEN MORGIANA CASTS A SPELL AND HYPNOTIC MUSIC PLAYS AS

HERMAN STANDS IN A TRANCE WITH HIS ARMS STRETCHED OUT INFRONT
OF HIM

QUEEN MORGIANA

The mirrors visions I need no more

I’ll shake this Kingdom to its very core
Herman you will do as I say

25
Or I’ll make every citizen pay!

Do you understand Herman

HERMAN:

Yes your magicalness, I shall take Snow White into the forest
and then she shall be no more

QUEEN MORGIANA

The time is now Herman, do the deed and do it well

And then I’ll marry the Prince and you’ll never tell!

THE HYPNOTIC MUSIC SWELLS. GRISELDA GIVES AN EVIL LAUGH,IN HIS

HYPNOTISED STATE HERMAN EXITS ARMS STILL OUT IN FRONT OF HIM

SONG: “BAD ROMANCE”(Lady GaGa)

ENSEMBLE ENTER

QUEEN MORGIANA (With Ensemble)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga oh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love-love-love, I want your love (Love-love-love, I want your
love)

26
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Your bad romance
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
I want your horror
I want your design
'Cause you're a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
I want your psycho, your vertigo shtick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you're sick, I want your love
Love-love-love, I want your love (Love-love-love, I want your
love)
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, bad romance
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

27
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga oh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
Walk, walk fashion baby, work it move that crazy crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that crazy crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that crazy crazy
Walk-walk passion baby, work it I'm a free crazy baby
I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends
(J'veux ton amour et je veux ta revanche j'veux ton amour)
I don't wanna be friends, I don't wanna be friends
I don't wanna be friends, I don't wanna be friends
Want your bad romance (caught in a bad romance) want your bad
romance
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Want your bad romance
Caught in a bad romance
Want your bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh! Want your bad romance
Caught in a bad romance
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

SONG ENDS
ENSEMBLE EXIT

QUEEN MORGIANA
(To the audience)
Soon Snow White will be dead and gone, a thorn in my side
removed, I’ll once more be the most beautiful woman in all
the land. Three cheers for me. Hip hip.

28
(Boo) Hip hip. (Boo) Hip hip. (Boo) Oh – get over it you
saddos

SCENE 4 - THE FOREST PATHWAY

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR ENTERS

Hey you guys dazzle and shine (Hey mirror you’re looking
just fine)
It’s taken all of my powers and it may leave me weak but I
have escaped the confines of that mirror just long enough
to keep an eye on things. It’s all gone very dark, just
like Midsummer Murders! That evil Morgiana, she has a face
that you’d wanna swipe right off your tinder page. But
right now I know that somewhere near here Snow White is in
danger I’m going to make it my mission to see that she is
safe and happy. I’ve spent so long serving that evil
Morgiana that I think it’s time I served the forces of
good for a change. But out of the mirror I’m so very weak,
I think I’ll need some help. I’m thinking seven fun-sized
helpings of joy, and here they come!

THE DWARFS ENTER SINGING

6. HAKUNA MATATA (From the Lion King)

THE DWARFS

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

CHIEF
Greetings sparkly man! We are the Seven Dwarfs. I’m Chief
TICK
I’m Tick
TOCK

29
I’m Tock
BISH
I’m Bish
BASH
I’m Bash
LOOPY
I’m Loopy

DOOPY
I’m Doopy

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Ok, I’ll try to remember all of those names! Call me Mirror
Man! Anyway, I do already know who you are, I kinda have
this sense, I’m here to ask for your help to look after the
Princess Snow White

CHIEF
We were once servants to her father, The King, but then he
died and that Wicked Queen had us banished to the outskirts
of the forest, we have been here ever since

MAN IN THE MIRROR

If you see Snow White will you try and keep her safe? She
really needs your help. The Wicked Queen is trying to
kill her.

CHIEF
How do you know so much?

MAN IN THE MIRROR

I know everything

CHIEF
Of course we’ll keep her safe, if we see her

MAN IN THE MIRROR

You’ll know her when you see her. Just look out for the
most beautiful girl in the land. Nice to see you Chief, and
the rest of your gang, I’ve a feeling we’ll be seeing you
lot again real soon

30
CHIEF
You heard the man gang, we are officially on Princess
Patrol

TICK

Is that like Paw Patrol, I love that!

CHIEF

Similar! Line up

ALL DWARFS

Line up

CHIEF

Turn around

ALL DWARFS

Turn around

CHIEF

March and sing…here we go

ALL DWARFS

“HAKUNAMATATA” REPRISE

DWARFS

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

AS THE NUMBER COMES TO AN END THE MAN IN THE MIRROR AND

THE DWARFS GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS.

31
SCENCE 5 – The Castle Kitchen

NURSE NELLY

Oh hello again boys and girls. I already have a birthday cake

for Snow White but I think we could well be needing a wedding
cake, so I’m gonna make it. Oh and here come my helpers from
the village, hello gang!

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1 AND 2 ENTER

Now, I’ve no time for messing around. And no time for soggy
bottoms, Mary Berry eat your heart out!

I must be careful, last time I made a fruit cake I got

electrocuted, yeah, a current shot down my leg!

Right, let’s get to you, I’ve already mixed the ingredients in

that bowl, so all we have to do is season it

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1 PICKS THE BOWL UP SNEEZES LOUDLY INTO THE

MIXING BOWL FULL OF INCREDIENTS AND IT GOES ALL OVER HIS FACE

What did you do that for! I said Season it not sneeze on it!
Stupid boy, Oh no look at it, it’s got bogeys in it now! You
don’t get this on Masterchef. Well if anyone asks we’ll say
they are Brussel sprouts. Oh you know I’m so tired all of a
sudden, I’m gonna sit over here on this chair and I’ll shout
distructions to you two!

NURSE NELLY SITS ON A CHAIR AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE WITH HER
BACK TO THE CAKE MAKERS.

I was thinking it could do with a little flour actually

COURTIER/ENSBLE 2 RUNS OFF AND BACK ON WITH A TINY FLOWER AND

PUTS IT IN THE MIXING BOWL

Oh but then again I don’t want it to be too dry, no don’t

worry about the flour

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2 LOOKS PANICKED AND GRABS THE FLOWER OUT OF

THE BOWL, ALONG WITH A HANDFUL OF THE MIXTURE AND THROWS IT
AWAY INTO THE FACE OF COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 1

Break 2 eggs

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2 THROWS 2 EGGS ON THE FLOORS AND THEY BREAK

Into the bowl

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2 TRIES TO MOP UP THE EGG WITH HANDS AND PUT

INTO THE BOWL

32
Add a pint of semi skilled milk

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2 ADDS THE MILK SLOPPING IT AROUND

Mix it up good and proper, Oh what am I thinking! Snow White

has an egg allergy, we’ll have to throw the mixture

COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2 THROWS MIXTURE OVER THEIR SHOULDER AND IT

COVERS COURTIER/ENSEMBLE 2

Yes we’ll have to throw it in the bin.

NURSE NELLY STANDS UP AND TURNS AROUND

What on earth are you two idiots doing! Just look at the mess,
if Queen Morgiana sees this she’ll hit the roof! That’s it, no
more cake, I’ll call aunt Bessie! Clear off you lot, a lot of
help you were! NOT!

COMEDY MUSIC PLAYS / CLOTH IN

SCENE 6 - THE ENCHANTED FOREST

SNOW WHITE ENTERS FOLLOWED BY HERMAN WHO IS STILL IN A

TRANCE.

SNOW WHITE
This forest is creepy, I really don’t like it, are you sure
this is where my stepmother has left my surprise birthday
gift? It seems a bit odd

HERMAN
(In a trance)
Yes Princess I am sure
SNOW WHITE
You are behaving very oddly Herman, are you sure you are ok

HERMAN
(In a trance)
Okey Cokey

SNOW WHITE
What?

HERMAN
(In a trance)
You put your left leg in, your left leg out, in out in out,
shake it all about

33
SNOW WHITE
Herman!

HERMAN
(In a trance)
Okey Cokey

SNOW WHITE
That’s it. I’m not going any further. I am sitting here on
this tree stump until you tell me what on earth is going on

SNOW WHITE SITS ON A TREE STUMP WITH HER BACK FACING HERMAN
AND THE AUDIENCE

HERMAN
(In a trance)
must do the deed

HERMAN TAKES A DAGGER FROM HIS BELT, HE BEGINS TO CREEP UP ON

SNOW WHITE AND RAISES HIS ARM – AUDIENCE START SHOUTING OUT.
SNOW WHITE JUMPS UP AND KNOCKS HERMAN TO THE GROUND BY
ACCIDENT, HE HITS HIS HEAD ON A LOG

SNOW WHITE

What did you shout out? What are you saying, someone is trying
to hurt me?

HERMAN
Ouch, that blloming w
Ouch, that blooming well hurt actually Snow White, whatcha
wanna go and do that for?

SNOW WHITE
Herman – why do you have a dagger?
HERMAN
I Don’t know Rapunzel!
SNOW WHITE

Snow White

HERMAN

Yes, snow is white

SNOW WHITE

At least you are acting normal again

HERMAN

34
I remember! The Queen, evil Queen Morticia! Morgiana! She
sent me to kill you Snow White! She put a spell on me, why
if you hadn’t just done that karate or whatever it was on
me then I might have done something awful

SNOW WHITE

Herman! How could you

HERMAN

That’s just it, I couldn’t, so she put that spell on me,

she’s so nasty, just try one of those evil transformers,
the Decepticons! I’d never hurt you Snow White. She’s gone
too far this time. I’m putting my foot down with a firm
hand.

SNOW WHITE
So what do I do now, I can’t go back to the castle, she will
kill me! I must stay here? Will you stay with me Herman?
HERMAN
I can’t, there’s not a TV and I’ll miss Coronation Street

SNOW WHITE
Please Herman
HERMAN
I must go back to tell her I have done the deed or she’ll know
you’re alive and she’ll come after you again.

SNOW WHITE
What will I do without you?
HERMAN
You’re a brave resourceful girl, you’ll be ok, chat to some
bunny rabbits and deer, sing to the birds, I dunno! When it
is safe I will find you, Me and Nelly will come and find
you to take you home, but only when it is safe. I have to
go now Cinderella.

SNOW WHITE

35
Snow White!

HERMAN

I know, I did that one on purpose to lighten the mood! Goodbye

Princess, stay safe

HERMAN EXITS

SNOW WHITE
What will happen to me now? I don’t know where I am or
what to do. I’ve always tried to be strong but now I’m
feeling very scared and all alone. Separated from my
prince just when I found him again.

SONG: “SOMEWHERE OUT THERE” (From An American Tale)

SNOW WHITE

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that dream somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishin' on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there, if love can see us through

Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishin' on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there, if love can see us through

Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

SONG ENDS

DURING THE NUMBER SNOW WHITE STAYS DOWNSTAGE AS;

TRANSITION TO;

SCENE 7 - THE FOREST PATHWAY

36
 THE MAN IN THE MIRROR ENTERS.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Hey you guys Dazzle and Shine (Hey Mirror, your looking
just fine)

I don’t mind telling you I don’t feel all that fine right
now, I’m getting weaker and weaker away from my mirror but
I’m determined to see this through for Snow White!

SNOW WHITE

Excuse me, Who are you?

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Oh, hi! So we finally meet! Who am I? It’s me. The Man

In The Mirror. I know that sounds weird! I was a magical
slave to your evil Stepmother. I’ve kinda gone AWOL, I
had to so I could help you

SNOW WHITE
Help me

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Snow White - I’ve watched you grow up and I know what a

wonderful girl you are and what a fine Queen you would
make

SNOW WHITE
You’re very kind. This place is really getting the
better of me.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Panic over, you are going to be making some new friends real
soon, seven to be exact. The seven dwarfs are going to look
after you, I’ve arranged it all and I know that Herman will
be back soon to see you too, with Nelly not far behind. Until

37
then I think you could do with some company. I will summon
the creatures of the forest.

SNOW WHITE
Oh, I’m allergic to Dogs!

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Ok no dogs

SNOW WHITE

And cats
THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

Ok no cats

SNOW WHITE

And elephants

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

Ok, thankfully I wasn’t planning on calling any of those!

LIGHTS FLICKER AND THERE IS AN ENCHANTING MAGICAL SOUND AS THE

MAN IN THE MIRROR SPRINGLES HIS GLITTERY MAGIC DUST

THE ENSEMBLE ENTER AS ANIMALS.

SNOW WHITE

Oh my, you are all so lovely

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Don’t worry Snow White. From now on everything is going

to be just fine. Trust me!

SNOW WHITE
I am a strong independent woman, I can do this! I’m done
being mistreated. Things are going to be different from
now on!

SONG: “HAPPY” (Pharrell Williams)

SNOW WHITE

38
It might seem crazy what I am about to say
Sunshine she's here, you can take a break
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don't care, baby, by the way

SNOW WHITE, MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Here come bad news, talking this and that (Yeah!)

Well, give me all you got, don't hold it back (Yeah!)
Well, I should probably warn ya, I'll be just fine (Yeah!)
No offense to you, don’t waste your time
Here's why..

SNOW WHITE, MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

THE SEVEN DWARFS ENTER & JOIN SIGNING & DANCING – SNOW WHITE
LOOKS DELIGHFULLY SURPRISED

ALL

(Happy)
Bring me down… can't nothing…
(Happy)
Bring me down… my love is too high…
(Happy)
Bring me down… can't nothing…
(Happy)
Bring me down, I said

(Happy, happy, happy, happy)

Bring me down…can't nothing…

39
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down… my love is too high…
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down… can't nothing…
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down, I said

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

(Happy, happy, happy, happy)

Bring me down… can't nothing…
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down… my love is too high…
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down… can't nothing…
(Happy, happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down, I said

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Come on!

40
PLAY-OFF.

END OF ACT 1

41
 ACT 2

10. ENTR’ACTE

TABS OUT TO REVEAL;

MAN IN THE MIRROR & ENSEMBLE CENTRE STAGE

PROLOGUE - THE LAND OF ONCE UPON A TIME

SONG: ‘ONE SHORT DAY’ (Wicked the Musical)

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR & EMSEMBLE

One short day at this pantomime party

One short day and there’s so much to do
Every way that you look at this kingdom
There’s something exquisite
You’ll want to visit
Before this days through

There are buildings reaching high and tall

Castle grounds
Let’ climb a wall
Palaces
Princesses
A hundred strong
There are wonders like I’ve never seen
It’s all grand
So fresh and clean

I think we’ve found the place where we belong

I wanna be in this hoi polloi

So do come back and stay one day

To make your life I have to say
But for today we’ll wander and enjoy

One short day at this pantomime party

One short day
To have a lifetime of fun
One short day

SONG ENDS

THE MAN IN THE MIROR

Hey you guys dazzle and shine (Hey Mirror you’re looking just
fine)

That never get’s old! Glad to see you all came back. Ok,
Update time guys and gals, whilst you were all having a wee
and an Ice cream, not both at the same time! I’ve been back to
the castle and recharged to the max! Morgiana thinks Snow
White is dead and Herman has filled Nelly and the Prince in on

42
the secret. The Queen is telling everyone Snow White has run
off to be on her own so she thinks her plan has worked!

All in all I have done a great job so far, you’ve all

done ok too! But our story is far from over. Snow White
is getting to know her new 7 friends quite well, I
think they see her as a bit of a mother figure, she’s
cooking for them, cleaning for them…she even washes
there pants and socks! But she doesn’t mind one little
bit, so let’s go over their cottage in the woods and
catch up with the story

CLOTH OUT.

SCENE 1 - INSIDE THE DWARF’S COTTAGE

THE DWARFS MARCH IN SINGING ‘HAKUNA MATATA’. CHIEF STOPS AND

THEY ALL STOP BEHIND HIM EXCEPT SILLY WHO WALKS STRAIGHT INTO
THE BACK OF THEM ALL CAUSING THEM ALL TO BUMP INTO EACH OTHER.
CHIEF
Get up get up
SNOW WHITE
Are you all ok?
CHIEF
We need to work on this marching lark boys!

SNOW WHITE
Now I’ve already tidied the kitchen, cleaned the floors,
made the beds and made up your snack boxes, it’s been a
busy day, but time went quick and I whistled while I
worked!

TICK
This place is looking amazing, Kim Woodburne would be proud!
TOCK
Can we keep her Chief?
CHIEF
I wish we could but Snow White will be back where she
rightfully belongs in no time, but whilst you are here, make
yourself at home
SNOW WHITE
I will and then maybe one day we can all go back to
live at the castle, once Morgiana has been put in her
place

43
CHIEF
We have to be off now, there are mines to be mined and songs
to be sung. Line up team. You be careful Snow White. Don’t let
any strangers in whilst we are gone

SNOW WHITE
You’re very sweet to worry but I’m sure I’ll be fine.

SONG: HAKUNA MATATA REPRISE

THE DWARFS SING AS THEY LEAVE

ALL DWARFS

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze

AS THEY SING SNOW WHITE GIVES EACH OF THEM A KISS ON THE

FOREHEAD AS THEY COLLECT A SNACK BOX BEFORE THEY LEAVE.

SNOW WHITE CLEANS THE HOUSE AND DOES HER CHORES AS SHE SING…

SONG “Happy Working Song” (From Enchanted)

SNOW WHITE

Come my little friends

As we all sing a happy little working song
Merry little voices clear and strong
Come and roll your sleeves up
So to speak, and pitch in
Cleaning crud up in the kitchen
As we sing along
And you’ll trill a cheery tune in the tub
As we scrub a stubborn mildew stain
Lug a hairball from the shower drain
To the happy refrain
Of a happy working song
We’ll keep singing without fail
Otherwise we’d spoil it
Hosing down the garbage pail
And scrubbing up the toilet
Ooh!

44
How we all enjoy letting loose with a little
La-da-da-dum-dum
While we’re emptying the vacu-um
It’s such fun to hum
A happy working song
Oo-ooh
A happy working song
Oh, how strange a place to be
Till Prince Harry comes for me
My heart is sighing
Still, as long as I am here
I guess a new experience
Could be worth trying
Hey! Keep drying!
You can do a lot when you've got
Such a happy working tune to hum
While you’re sponging up the soapy scum
We adore each filthy chore
That we determine
So friends even though you're vermin,
We're a happy working throng
Singing as we fetch the detergent box
Or the smelly shirts and the stinky socks
Sing along
If you cannot sing then hum along
As we’re finishing our happy working song!

SONG ENDS
CLOTH IN

SCENE 2 - THE CASTLE COURTYARD

NURSE NELLY IS SAT ON A BENCH AND HERMAN COMES ON AND

JOINS HER

NURSE NELLY
Where have you been?

HERMAN

45
I could ask you the same thing, where did you vanish to,
you were hardly seen in act 1! Part timer!

NURSE NELLY
I was a bit tied up with (Name of man in front row from
earlier) but I’m bored with him now. He did buy me a
lovely ice cream in the interval though. Anyway you were
gonna update me on Snow White….but do it quietly!

AS THEY TALK QUEEN MORGIANA APPEARS TO THE SIDE OF STAGE

BEHIND THEM BUT THEY DON’T NOTICE AND ARE UNAWARE SHE IS
LISTENING

HERMAN
Oh yeah, Snow White, I have heard on the grape vine that
she is doing just fine, the dwarfs are looking after her
in their secret cottage and that nasty old ugly Queen will
never find her and will never be able to hurt her. So it’s
ok innit!

NURSE NELLY
Oh I am relieved, I’ve been ever so worried you know. That
girls means the world to me.

PRINCE HARRY ENTERS – HE DOES NOT NOTICE THE QUEEN EITHER

PRINCE HARRY

Is this a private party or can any prince join in?

HERMAN
It’s private actually

NURSE NELLY

Don’t be so cruel, sit down love, let us fill you in on

the latest

46
NURSE NELLY, HERMAN AND PRINCE HARRY TALK IN HUSHED TONES,
LIGHTS GO DOWN ON THEM AND A SPOTLIGHT COMES UP ON QUEEN
MORGIANA

QUEEN MORGIANA
(TO AUDIENCE)

So I have been deceived, Snow White lives! Well I’ll soon

put pay to this little game. A disguise is in order and I
know just the one, I’ll pay Snow White a visit and her
little friends won’t be able to help her this time. And
whilst I am gone I think I’ll magic up a little something
to keep these 3 busy and out of my way, I can’t have them
ruining my plans!

QUEEN MORGIANA CASTS A MAGIC SPELL – AS SHE DOES LIGHTS

FLASH AND FLICKER AND MENACING MUSIC PLAYS

Forces of evil and skeletons rise

Create for me a cunning disguise
An apple for Snow White, a poisonous prize
and give these 3 numpties a nasty surprise

AS THE SPELL ENDS THERE IS A FLASH OF LIGHT AND QUEEN

MORGIANA IS NOW IN HER DISGUISE – SHE RUNS OFF STAGE
GIVING AN EVIL LAUGH CARRING A POSIONED APPLE

NURSE NELLY
Was that lightning, I think we are in for a storm, it’s
suddenly gone very dark and cold out here.

HERMAN
Nelly I don’t like it, I have come over all frightened

NURSE NELLY

47
What a big brave Henchman you are!

THERE IS A HOWL, A CRASH OF THUNDER AND FLASH OF

LIGHTENING

Move up closer boys, look after Nelly!

PRINCE HARRY

I think we should leave, just think of all the ghosties

and ghoulies

NURSE NELLY
I don’t want to get caught by the ghosties

HERMAN
And I don’t want to state the obvious

NURSE NELLY

No, we are better to stay here until the storm, or

whatever it is, has passed. It will be ok, let’s pass the
time by singing one of my favourite songs

HERMAN

Who let the Dogs out?

NURSE NELLY

No, cheeky! Ghostbusters! I’m sure all of the boys and

girls will join in with us too, Ok, here we go

SONG: “Ghostbusters”

NURSE NELLY, PRINCE HARRY AND HERMAN

48
If there's something strange in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)

Nurse Nelly

You know what? I feel less scared already, but I’m not sure about the boys and girls, I
know, Herman you go over on that side into the auditorium and you can go the other
way princey

PRINCE HARRY AND HERMAN GO INTO THE AUDITORIM, ONE EACH SIDE,
NELLY STAYS CENTRE STAGE BY THE BENCH

Ok, let’s sing our song again and this time boys and girls I want you to be extra loud
when we shout out ‘Ghostbusters’ ok here we go

SONG: “Ghostbusters”

NURSE NELLY, PRINCE HARRY AND HERMAN

If there's something strange in your neighborhood

Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)

AS THEY SING A SKELETON COMES ON FROM STAGE LEFT, CREEPS ABOUT

BEHIND THE NELLY EXITS RIGHT

NURSE NELLY
Did something happen? (Yes) What was it? (A Skeleton) Was
it behind me? (Yes) Well let’s have a look then.
NURSE NELLY WALKS AROUND QUICKLY

Well it's not there now. We'll sing it again then and this
time shout much louder just incase
Here we go.

NURSE NELLY, PRINCE HARRY AND HERMAN

49
SONG: “Ghostbusters”

If there's something strange in your neighborhood

Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)

AS THEY SING TWO SKELETONS GO INTO THE AUDITORIUM AND CHASES

PRINCE HARRY OUT THE BACK DOORS.

NURSE NELLY
What happened, where’s princey gone? Was it a Skeleton
again? (Yes)

NURSE NELLY AND HERMAN

Well why didn’t you tell us? (We did) Oh no you didn’t! (Oh
yes we did) Oh no you didn’t! (Oh yes we did)

NURSE NELLY
Well we'll have to sing it again then won’t we, here we
go

NURSE NELLY AND HERMAN

SONG: “Ghostbusters”

If there's something strange in your neighborhood

Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)

AS THEY SING SEVERAL SKELETONS GO INTO THE AUDITORIUM AND

CHASE HERMAN OUT THE BACK DOORS.

50
NURSE NELLY
Now where’s Herman gone? Who took him? (Skeltetons) Well
why did’nt you tell me? (we did), you didn’t you didn’t
you didn’t (we did we did we did) Didn’t (Did) Didn’t
(did) Did! Aghh nearly caught you. Well now I’m all
alone, it’s frightening now, you’ll have to look after
me boys and girls, keep your eyes peeled for anything
untoward, here we go

SONG: “Ghostbusters”

NURSE NELLY

If there's something strange in your neighborhood

Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost
If you're seeing things running through your head
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)
An invisible man
Sleeping in your bed
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)

AS SHE SINGS SKELETONS ALL GO UP ON THE STAGE AND START

DANCING BEHIND NELLY. THEY STOP DANCING AND ADVANCE ON NELLY.
EVENTUALLY SHE STOPS SINGING, SHE LOOKS TO THE RIGHT AND THEN
TO THE LEFT AS THE SKELETONS STARE AT HER. ALL LOOK OUT TO
FACER THE AUDIENCE. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AGAIN. ALL THE
SKELETONS SCREAM AND RUN OFF.

NURSE NELLY

Charming!

BLACKOUT ON STAGE. CLOTH OUT;

SCENE 3 – OUTSIDE THE DWARFS COTTAGE

51
QUEEN MORGIANA ENTERS IN HER DISGUISE, CARRYING A BASKET
OF APPLES, SHE WALKS OVER AND KNOCKS ON THE COTTAGE DOOR
AND SNOW WHITE ANSWERS

SNOW WHITE

Hello, can I help you?

QUEEN MORGIANA
(USING A WITHERED OLD VOICE)
Oh hello my pretty, are the dwarfs home?

SNOW WHITE
No, they are out at work

QUEEN MORGIANA
(USING A WITHERED OLD VOICE)

Of course, silly me, you must be Snow White, they told me

all about you

SNOW WHITE
They did?

QUEEN MORGIANA
(USING A WITHERED OLD VOICE)

Oh it’s ok, I know it’s a secret, they trust me. I live in

the next cottage just down the lane, I often pick fresh
juicy red apples from the tree in my garden and bring them
as a treat. I have a very large and extra juicy one here,
just for you as a special treat, take it my dear

QUEEN MORGIANA HOLDS OUT A LARGE RED APPLE TO SNOW WHITE

52
SNOW WHITE

I shouldn’t really, but it looks so tasty, well apples are

good for you I suppose, thank you so much

SNOW WHITE TAKES THE APPLES AND TAKE A BIG BITE OUT OF IT,
SHE GASPS AND CLUTCHES HER THROAT AND FALLS TO THE GROUND
– THERE IS A CRASH OF LIGHTNING AND A FLASH OF LIGHTS
WHILST QUEEN MORGIANA RIPS OFF HER DISGUISE AND GIVES AN
EVILLAUGH

QUEEN MORGIANA

I’ve done it, the princess is dead, now I am the fairest

in the land once more (Evil laugh), try and tell me I’m
not now Mirror! (Evil laugh),

LIGHTS FLASH AND MENACING MUSIC PLAYS AS QUEEN MORGIANA

EXITS

THE SEVEN DWARFS MARCH IN AND AS THEY ENTER THEY ARE

SIGNING HAKUNA MATATA. CHIEF IS FIRST TO SPOT SNOW WHITE
ON THE GROUND

CHIEF

Snow White!

THE DWARFS ALL RUSH OVER TO HER

BISH

She’s not breathing

53
BOSH

She’s dead!

LOOPY SEES THE APPLE ON THE GROUND, HE PICKS IT UP AND

SNIFFS IT

LOOPY
She’s been poisoned! This apple is poisonous

CHIEF
She is in a very deep sleep, I feel she is lost to us
forever now

DOOPY
It must have been The Queen, who else would have done this

SAD MUSIC PLAYS AS THE DWARFS GATHER AROUND SNOW WHITE,

THE GAUZE COMES IN AND MEANWHILE AT THE FRONT OF STAGE..

ENTER PRINCE HARRY AND HERMAN

PRINCE HARRY
I can’t believe those skeletons chased us all the way out
here, deep in the forest

HERMAN
I know look at it, it’s like being on ‘I’m a Celebrity Get
me out of Here’ and I need to go wee

PRINCE HARRY
Well go on then

HERMAN
Weeeeeeeeee

54
PRINCE HARRY
Go over that way behind a tree

HERMAN
Don’t go anywhere will you, don’t leave me on my own

PRINCE HARRY
I’ll be right here, hurry before you have an accident

HERMAN EXITS SHOUTING ‘WEEEEEE’

PRINCE HARRY
Oh Snow White, know you are near, can feel it, I’m
coming for you, we will be together again

SONG: “Go the Distance” (Michael Bolton)

I have often dreamed of a far off place

Where a hero's welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't loose hope, 'till I go the distance
And my journey is complete, oh yeah
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart, oh
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms

55
I will search the world, I will face its harms
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms

SONG ENDS
HERMAN ENTERS

HERMAN
You ok? just having a little sing song there were you?

PRINCE HARRY
I was just having a moment

HERMAN
Ok then, just seems a bit weird, you just escaped mental
skeletons, your princess is in the woods with seven men in
mortal peril and you think it’s a good time to have a
shant!

THE PRINCE LOOKS EMBARESSED

It’s just if you were interested in forming some kind of

band then I could be your man, I used to be in a band,
well it was a one man band, but I split up due to musical
differences.

PRINCE HARRY
No, really it’s ok

Gauze up

PRINCE HARRY SPOTS THE DWARFS AT THE BACK OF STAGE

PRINCE HARRY

What a funny looking gang of men

NURSE NELLY COMES RUNNING ON

56
NURSE NELLY

Men, who said men, stand aside, let me at em! where?

HERMAN

Nelly, we thought the skeletons had you

NURSE NELLY

No, I scared them off, I’ve been trying to catch up with you
for the last 3 miles. Now about these men?

PRINCE HARRY

Yes, over there, I wonder what they are all looking at

HERMAN

Well there are some very odd things you come across when
walking through the forest

NURSE NELLY

Hang on just one cotton pickin’ minute, thems the dwarfs! The
ones the Mirror left Snow White with, let’s go say hello

NURSE NELLY, HERMAN AND PRINCE HARRY WALK TOWARDS THE DWARDS
AND AS THEY CLEAR THE PRINCE SPOTS SNOW WHITE ON THE GROUND

PRINCE HARRY

Snow White! My princess, what has happened

TICK

We think she is dead

TOCK

The Queen has poisoned her

NURSE NELLY

Stand aside men, I’m a trained professional

NURSE NELLY BENDS DOWN NEXT TO SNOW WHITE

She’s not dead, she’s in a very deep sleep, this is some kind
of spell if you ask me.

PRINCE HARRY

How do we break the spell, we have to save her

57
NURSE NELLY

Well there’s only one way that I know of to break such a

spell, that’s true loves kiss

HERMAN

True loves kiss, you’re having a laugh!

NURSE NELLY

It’s true!

HERMAN

Where did you do your medical training? Holby City? It’s a

tough job, but someone’s got to do it, clear a the path, I’m
going in for a smacker

NURSE NELLY GRABS HERMAN AND PUSHES HIM OFF TO ONE SIDE

NURSE NELLY

Not you you fool, it has to be someone who is in love with her
and someone she loves in return

HERMAN

Like I said, I’m going in for a smacker, pucker up Snow White

NURSE NELLY

Am I being too subtle for you here Prince Harry?

PRINCE HARRY

Me? You mean me?

NURSE NELLY

Well let’s put it this way, either you get down on your knees
and kiss that princess to save her life or you can come over
here and snog my face off, the choice is yours

PRINCE HARRY

Of course, I can save her, I love her

NURSE NELLY

The penny drops! Better late than never, it’s a god job he’s
good looking.

PRINCE HARRY KNEELS BESIDE SNOW WHITE

58
PRINCE HARRY

Snow White – please come back to me I promise I’ll never

fail you again.

THE PRINCE KISSES HER AND SHE AWAKES. ALL CHEER.

SNOW WHITE

Prince Harry

PRINCE HARRY

Snow White

THEY KISS AGAIN

HERMAN

To think that could have been me

NURSE NELLY

Ok you two get a room, it’s not Love Island!

THERE IS MUSIC AND FLASHING LIGHTS AND WHEN LIGHTS RETURN TO

NORMAL QUEEN MORGIANA IS THERE.

QUEEN MORGIANA
There will be no happy endings today, It seems the only way
to kill Snow White is to kill you all as well. I’ll cast a
spell that will destroy every one of you.

LIGHTS FLASH AND THERE IS A SPRINKLE OF MUSIC AS THE MAN IN

THE MIRROR ENTERS

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Oh give it up Morgiana

QUEEN MORGIANA

Silence! When you’re talking to me

NURSE NELLY

59
Clever trick if you can do it

QUEEN MORGIANA

Get back to the mirror you, I’ll deal with you later

MAN IN THE MIRROR

You can try, but you won’t succeed, have you not realised
yet that true love conquers all. You have no power any
more, true love wins the day and it will always over power
your magic, you’re all dried up Queenie, so be on your way

QUEEN MORGIANA
(CASTING A SPELL)
Power of nasty make them pay
Give me a hurricane to blow them away

NOTHING HAPPENS AND EVERYONE LAUGHS AT QUEEN MORGIANA

My powers, my powers have gone, at least the boys and

girls are still scared of me (oh no we’re not) Oh yes you
are (oh no we’re not) oh poo!

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Evil never wins and nobody is scared of you now, oh and

you might want to start looking for a new home, now that
the Princess Snow White has come of age and she is alive
and well, no thanks to you, she is now the rightful Queen
of this land, and I doubt that she will want you living in
the castle

HERMAN

No, that would be like being trapped in the Big Brother

house!

SNOW WHITE

It’s ok stepmother, we are not all as evil as you, there’s

a place for you in the castle

QUEEN MORGIANA

There is?

SNOW WHITE

60
Of course! (SNOW WHITE TAKES A TOOTHBRUSH OUT OF HER
POCKET AND HANDS IT TO MORIANA) Here, take this, now it’s
my bathroom that needs cleaning

EVEYONE LAUGHS – MORGIANA SLOPES OFF AND EXITS

PRINCE HARRY

Snow White, will you marry me?

SNOW WHITE

I thought you’d never ask, yes!

MUSIC STARTS

SONG: “Celebration” (Kool and the Gang)

ALL

Celebrate good times, come on!

Celebrate good times, come on!

PRINCE HARRY

There’s a party going on right here

SNOW WHITE

A celebration to last throughout the years

NURSE NELLY

So bring your good time and your laughter too

MAN IN THE MIRROR

We gonna celebrate and party with you

ALL

Come on now, celebration

Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

HERMAN

It’s time to come together

61
NURSE NELLY

It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure

ALL

Everyone around the world come on!

Yahoo!
It’s a celebration
Yahoo!

Celebrate good times, come on

(It’s a celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on
(Let’s celebrate)

There’s a party going n right here

Let’s Celebrate!

SONG ENDS

SNOW WHITE AND THE PRINCE KISS, EVERYONE CHEERS, ROUSING W

MUSIC PLAYS AS THER FRONT CLOTH COMES IN AND HERMAN MOVES
TO BE INFROM OF IT

SCENE 4 - THE LAND OF ONCE UPON A TIME

HERMAN

I still think the princess has made a mistake, I’d have made a
wonderful husband. Still she looks happy doesn’t she boys and
girls (yes) and best of all the happy couple have asked me to
invite you all to the royal wedding! Isn’t that smashing? (Yes)

Now I have a list here of some very special guests who are in
today to come to the wedding so if I read your name or group
out I want you to leap up and down and wave your arms knickers
in the air and shout HIYA HERMAN, ok, here goes

HERMAN TO READ SHOUT OUT LIST FOLLOWED BY BIRTHDAYS

Let’s all sing happy birthday to our special

birthday guest/guests.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU – HERMAN AND AUDIENCE

Give yourselves a big round of applause.

62
 HOUSE LIGHTS DOWN.

I’m so excited for the wedding I think a bit of wee came

out! I love a good party and now I’m not an evil henchman
I can go back to being the court jester again and make
everyone laugh, I can be the wedding entertainment! I do
have a song to sing at the wedding but I need to practice,
will you help me (Yes) oh that’s good, it gives the crew
longer to change the set! Ok, I’ll sing my song, you
listen carefully and remember the words ready for the next
time…here we go

SONGSHEET:- HERMAN AND THE AUDIENCE

COMPETITION WITH EACH SIDE SINGING SEPARATELY THEN ONCE MORE

TOGETHER

NURSE NELLY
(Off stage voice over)

Coooeee Herman, it’s time to get ready for the wedding, Come
on!

HERMAN

Oh crickey, I better hurry, see you at the wedding gang!

LIGHTS UP BEHIND GAUZE TO REVEAL;

SCENE 6 – WALKDOWN FINALE

MUSIC STARTS – “BE OUR GUEST” (Beauty and the Beast)

ENSEMBLE ARE ON STAGE

Gauze up

ONCE THE GAUZE IS U THEY TAKE THEIR BOW AND SPLIT IN HALF TO
EACH SIDE OF THE STAGE TO GREET THE CAST

THE DWARFS ENTER FROM BOTH SIDES TO MEET IN THE MIDDLEAND TAKE
THEIR BOW – THEY SPLIT AND GO HALF TO EACH SIDE

63
Rest of Walkdown order:

Man in the Mirror

Nurse Nelly

Queen Morgiana

Herman

MUSIC PAUSES

HERMAN

Three cheers for Queen Snow White and King Harry!

Hip Hip (Horray) Hip Hip (Horray) Hip Hip (Horray)

ENTER SHOW WHITE AND PRINCEHARRY HOLDING HANDS

THE MAIN CAST FORM A LINE AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE WITH
EVERYONE ELSE BEHIND, THEY TAKE A COMPANY BOW

COMPANY MOTIONS TO THE BAND FOR THEIR BOW.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Our Pantomime is over (Aaahhh)
QUEEN MORGIANA
My evil days are through (Hooray)
PRINCE HARRY
True love won out, I found my bride
NURSE NELLY
And (NAME OF MAN FROM ACT 1). I’ve still got you

HERMAN
Snow White has found herself a Prince
So I’m back on the pull
If that Morgiana plays her cards right
I might stop playing it cool!

SNOW WHITE
To everyone a fond farewell
MAN IN THE MIRROR
And from all of us up here
HERMAN

64
A very Merry Christmas
ALL
And a Happy New Year

HERMAN
Do you want some more? (Yes) I said “Do you want some more?”
(Yes) Then up on your feet!

MEGA-MIX - FULL COMPANY

COMPANY SING & DANCE UNTIL END WHEN THEY MOVE

UPSTAGE AND WAVE AS EXIT

TABS IN.

END OF ACT 2

65