Listening and Listening Skills

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process.
Listening is key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are
easily misunderstood. As a result, communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily
become frustrated or irritated. If there is one communication skill you should aim to master, then
listening is it.

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Types of Listening

When we engage in listening, we are doing so for many different reasons depending upon the goals in
which we are trying to achieve. There are four different types of listening that are essential to know
when deciding what your goal as the listener is. The four types of listening are appreciative, empathic,
comprehensive, and critical. Familiarize yourself with these different types of listening so you can
strengthen and improve your ability to critically think and evaluate what you have heard.

Appreciative Listening

When you listen for appreciation you are listening for enjoyment. Think about the music you listen to.
You usually listen to music because you enjoy it. The same can be said for appreciative listening when
someone is speaking. Some common types of appreciative listening can be found in sermons from
places of worship, from a motivational speech by people we respect or hold in high regard, or even from
a standup comedian who makes us laugh.

Empathic Listening

When you listen empathically you are doing so to show mutual concern. During this type of listening you
are trying to identify with the speaker by understanding the situation in which he/she is discussing. You
are stepping into the other’s shoes to get a better understanding of what it is he/she is talking about.
Usually during this type of listening you want to be fully present in the moment or mindfully listening to
what the speaker is saying. Your goal during this time is to focus on the speaker, not on yourself. You are
trying to understand from the speaker’s perspective.

Comprehensive Listening

If you are watching the news, listening to a lecture, or getting directions from someone, you are listening
to understand or listening to comprehend the message that is being sent. This process is active. In class,
you should be focused, possibly taking notes of the speaker’s main ideas. Identifying the structure of the
speech and evaluating the supports he/she offers as evidence. This is one of the more difficult types of
listening because it requires you to not only concentrate but to actively participate in the process. The
more you practice listening to comprehend, the stronger listener you become.

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Critical Listening

Have you ever had to buy an expensive item, such as a new appliance, a car, a cell phone, or an iPad?
You probably did some research beforehand and listened closely to the salesperson when you went to
compare brands. Or perhaps your best friend is telling you about some medical tests he/she recently
had done. You listen closely so you can help your friend understand her results and the possible
ramifications of the findings. Both of these scenarios are examples of critical listening. Critical listening is
listening to evaluate the content of the message. As a critical listener you are listening to all parts of the
message, analyzing it, and evaluating what you heard. When engaging in critical listening, you are also
critically thinking. You are making mental judgments based on what you see, hear, and read. Your goal
as a critical listener is to evaluate the message that is being sent and decide for yourself if the
information is valid.

Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is self-guided, self-disciplined thinking which attempts to reason at the highest level of
quality in a fair-minded way. People who think critically consistently attempt to live rationally,
reasonably, empathically. They are keenly aware of the inherently flawed nature of human thinking
when left unchecked. They strive to diminish the power of their egocentric and sociocentric tendencies.
They use the intellectual tools that critical thinking offers – concepts and principles that enable them to
analyze, assess, and improve thinking. They work diligently to develop the intellectual virtues of
intellectual integrity, intellectual humility, intellectual civility, intellectual empathy, intellectual sense of
justice and confidence in reason. They realize that no matter how skilled they are as thinkers, they can
always improve their reasoning abilities and they will at times fall prey to mistakes in reasoning, human
irrationality, prejudices, biases, distortions, uncritically accepted social rules and taboos, self-interest,
and vested interest. They strive to improve the world in whatever ways they can and contribute to a
more rational, civilized society. At the same time, they recognize the complexities often inherent in
doing so. They avoid thinking simplistically about complicated issues and strive to appropriately
consider the rights and needs of relevant others. They recognize the complexities in developing as
thinkers and commit themselves to life-long practice toward self-improvement. They embody the
Socratic principle: The unexamined life is not worth living because they realize that many unexamined
lives together result in an uncritical, unjust, dangerous world. ~ Linda Elder, September, 2007.

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Why Critical Thinking?
The Problem

Everyone thinks; it is our nature to do so. But much of our thinking, left to itself, is biased, distorted,
partial, uninformed or down-right prejudiced. Yet the quality of our life and that of what we produce,
make, or build depends precisely on the quality of our thought. Shoddy thinking is costly, both in money
and in quality of life. Excellence in thought, however, must be systematically cultivated.

A Definition

Critical thinking is that mode of thinking - about any subject, content, or problem - in which the thinker
improves the quality of his or her thinking by skillfully taking charge of the structures inherent in
thinking and imposing intellectual standards upon them.

The Result

A well cultivated critical thinker:

•raises vital questions and problems, formulating them clearly and precisely.

•gathers and assesses relevant information, using abstract ideas to interpret it effectively comes to well-
reasoned conclusions and solutions, testing them against relevant criteria and standards.

•thinks open-mindedly within alternative systems of thought, recognizing and assessing, as need be,
their assumptions, implications, and practical consequences; and

•communicates effectively with others in figuring out solutions to complex problems.

Critical thinking is, in short, self-directed, self-disciplined, self-monitored, and self-corrective thinking. It
presupposes assent to rigorous standards of excellence and mindful command of their use. It entails
effective communication and problem-solving abilities and a commitment to overcome our native
egocentrism and sociocentrism.

The Importance of Critical Thinking for Young Children

Critical thinking is essential life skill. It is important to teach children critical thinking skills. We use
critical thinking skills every day. They help us to make good decisions, understand the consequences of
our actions and solve problems. These incredibly important skills are used in everything from putting
together puzzles to mapping out the best route to work. It is the process of using focus and self-control
to solve problems and set and follow through on goals. It utilizes other important life skills like making
connections, perspective taking and communicating. Basically, critical thinking helps us make good,
sound decisions.

Critical thinking

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In her book, “Mind in the Making: The seven essential life skills every child needs,” author Ellen Galinsky
explains the importance of teaching children critical thinking skills. A child’s natural curiosity helps lay
the foundation for critical thinking. Critical thinking requires us to take in information, analyze it and
make judgements about it, and that type of active engagement requires imagination and inquisitiveness.
As children take in new information, they fill up a library of sorts within their brain. They have to think
about how the new information fits in with what they already know, or if it changes any information we
already hold to be true.

Supporting the development of critical thinking

Encourage pursuits of curiosity. The dreaded “why” phase. Help them form and test theories,
experiment and try to understand how the world works. Encourage children to explore, ask questions,
test their theories, think critically about results and think about changes they could make or things they
could do differently.

Learn from others. Help children think more deeply about things by instilling a love for learning and a
desire to understand how things work. Seek out the answers to all of your children’s “why” questions
using books, the internet, friends, family or other experts.

Help children evaluate information. We are often given lots of information at a time, and it is important
we evaluate that information to determine if it is true, important and whether or not we should believe
it. Help children learn these skills by teaching them to evaluate new information. Have them think about
where or who the information is coming from, how it relates to what they already know and why it is or
is not important.

Promote children’s interests. When children are deeply vested in a topic or pursuit, they are more
engaged and willing to experiment. The process of expanding their knowledge brings about a lot of
opportunities for critical thinking, so to encourage this action helps your child invest in their interests.
Whether it is learning about trucks and vehicles or a keen interest in insects, help your child follow their
passion.

Teach problem-solving skills. When dealing with problems or conflicts, it is necessary to use critical
thinking skills to understand the problem and come up with possible solutions, so teach them the steps
of problem-solving and they will use critical thinking in the process of finding solutions to problems.

Open Ended Questions: Definition, Characteristics, Examples,

and Advantages

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Open-ended questions are free-form survey questions that allow respondents to answer in open text
format so that they can answer based on their complete knowledge, feeling, and understanding. It
means that the response to this question is not limited to a set of options.

Why use open-ended questions?

 No limits on the answers: Happy or unhappy, the customers need a platform to voice their
opinions. As answer options for open-ended questions are not provided, the respondent has the
liberty to include details about feelings, attitudes, and views that they usually would not get to
submit in close-ended questions.
 Medium for respondents to answer creatively: These questions are more appreciative of the
respondents than close-ended questions as users are not expected to just “fill” them out for the
sake of it.
 Respondents may stun you with the vision and creativity they show with their answers. Links to
their blogs or a verse or two of their poetry will leave you spellbound.
 Expect the unexpected: If there are only close-ended questions in a survey, the users usually get
disconnected and fill it out without giving it much thought. With the kind of freedom that open-
ended questions offer, users can respond the way they would like to, be it the number of words
or the details or the tone of the message.
 These responses may be marketing tips for improving the branding of the organization or some
creative ideas that can lead to monetary gains.
 Get answers to complicated situations: Knotty situations need feedback that is more than just a
mere Yes/No. Single-select or Multi-select questions cannot do justice to the detail or scrutiny
required for some critical and complex situations.
 Open-ended questions work best in situations where the respondents are expected to explain
their feedback or describe the troubles they are facing with the products.
 Understand your clientele better: You can learn from your respondents. The open-ended
questions offer the freedom to these respondents to be vocal about their opinion that would be
insightful for organizations.
 Respondent logic, thoughts, language, and reference choices can be known from these
questions that can reveal a lot about how the respondent’s brain functions.

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Communicating Effectively with Children

Children base their views of themselves and the world on their daily experiences. One of the most
important experiences adults can provide for children is to talk and listen to them. Through these daily
interactions, children and adults can develop relationships that help children learn about themselves
and the world. Adults who care for children have a responsibility to create and maintain positive and
healthy relationships with them. One of the most practical and mutually rewarding ways to achieve this
goal is through positive communication.

Research suggests that the best parent-child relationships are characterized by positive communication
and interaction. Parents and children with a healthy relationship communicate on a regular basis about
many different things, not just when there is a conflict. Researchers believe that when adults stay in
touch with children through attention and conversation, children might be less likely to act out or
behave in ways that create conflict or require discipline.

Effective communication with children requires styles and behavior appropriate to the child's age.
Rewarding interactions with children require an understanding of how children of different ages
communicate and what they like to talk about. Adults must communicate in a way that relates to the
age and interests of the child.

Infants: birth to 12 months

Infants communicate with coos, gurgles and grunts, facial expressions, cries, body movements like
cuddling or back arching, eye movements, and arm and leg movements. Recognize these signs and
encourage the infant's efforts at communication:

Quickly respond to infant communication (e.g., comfort a crying baby, smile at a smiling infant, relax if a
baby turns her head to the side).

Provide meaning for infants' communicative efforts (e.g., "You are crying, so I know it is time for your
bottle." "You are smiling; you like it when I tickle your feet!").

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Use a sing-song, high-pitched tone of voice, exaggerated facial expressions and wide-open eyes when
interacting with young infants. These types of behavior capture infants' attention and help them to keep
focused on interacting.

Make the most of the times when you and an infant are facing each other (e.g., during diaper changes,
feedings, mealtimes) and talk, sing or gently tickle the infant. Infants are fascinated by adult faces and
love to look at them when they are close.

Pay attention to an infant's style of expressing emotions, preferred level of activity and tendency to be
social. Some infants are quiet, observant and prefer infrequent adult interaction. Other infants are
emotional, active and seek continuous adult attention and interaction. Recognizing each infant's unique
personality will make effective communication easier.

Toddlers: 12 to 36 months

Toddlers communicate with a combination of gestures and grunts, one- and two-word sentences,
positive and negative emotional expressions, and body movements. Recognize these signs and
encourage the toddler's efforts at communication:

Respond quickly and predictably to toddlers' communicative efforts (e.g., "You are pointing at the fridge;
is it time for some juice?" "Bah-bah, that means you want your blanket, doesn't it?").

Expand on toddlers' one- and two-word communications, and build sentences around their words (e.g.,
"Hot, that's right, the pizza is hot." "Blue, your pants are blue with white stripes, aren't they?" "Do
again? Okay, I'll push you some more on the swing.").

Keep a word diary in which you record toddlers' new words. Share the diary with other adults so they
will use the words in conversations with the toddler.

Give toddlers one direction at a time, and provide warnings before transitions (e.g., "We're going to
leave for grandma's house in five minutes." Five minutes pass. "Okay, time to get ready, go get your coat
from the bedroom.").

Label toddlers' emotions (e.g., "When you fall and get hurt, you feel sad." "Playing with your cousin
Mary makes you happy!").

Make the most of daily routines and talk toddlers through the sequence in which they happen (e.g.,
"First we put warm water in the bathtub. Then you take off your clothes and get in!").

During play with toddlers, follow their lead and let them create the play. Describe for toddlers what they
are doing during play and let them have control (e.g., "Oh, you are driving the car up the sofa, now it is
falling to the floor! Here comes the truck to take the car to the garage.").

When telling older toddlers what you want, explain to the toddler why you want something to happen
(e.g., "Janey, I told you to please pick up your blocks and put them away. I don't want anyone tripping
and falling over them.").

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Preschoolers: 3 to 6 years

Preschoolers begin to talk in full sentences that are grammatically correct. Young preschoolers might
struggle with telling stories in the correct order but sequencing the events of a story comes much more
easily by age 6.

Preschoolers like to talk about their past experiences. They experiment with pretend and fantasy play,
and they sometimes talk about imaginary experiences.

At this age, children begin to recognize the connection between the spoken and written word. They
often recognize traffic signs and restaurant signs without being told what they literally say.

Preschoolers often talk to themselves when playing and working on tasks such as puzzles or art
activities. Recognize these signs and encourage the child's efforts at communication:

Ask preschoolers questions about past events; probe for details and provide new words to enhance
description of experiences. (e.g., "Who did you play with today? What did you do together?")

Encourage preschoolers to talk about their feelings — both positive and negative — and discuss the
possible causes for those emotions.

Create opportunities for preschoolers to engage in fantasy and pretend play, either alone or with
friends. (e.g., pretend baby bathing, housekeeping or astronaut play)

Provide opportunities for preschoolers to experience the connection between the spoken word and the
written word. (e.g., label familiar parts of the physical environment, have children tell you stories and
write them down, allow children to write their own stories or thank you notes, have children collect
items from the environment which include words that they can read)

When preschoolers are talking to themselves, let them be. Self-talk helps preschoolers focus on what
they are doing.

School-age: 6 to 12 years

School-age children talk in full sentences. Much like adults, they ask more questions, relate past
experiences in vivid detail and seek more information and justification for the way things are.

They can understand and talk about another person's perspective and are beginning to recognize the
influence their behavior can have on others. School-age children can handle more pieces of information
at once and can effectively engage in goal setting and problem-solving with assistance from adults.

At this age, children spend more time talking and playing with peers and friends. Recognize these signs
and encourage the child's efforts at communication:

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Keep up with school-age children's activities, likes, dislikes and peer relationships by talking to them.
Peers are important at this stage, and adults can keep informed about their children's relationships by
talking regularly with children.

Help school-age children set goals and solve problems ("If you have to go to Girl Scouts this afternoon,
let's talk about when you can do your homework."). Take time to discuss strategies and solutions, and
have the child talk about possible outcomes.

When correcting behavior, provide a calm explanation for your preferences. Giving a reason helps
children understand the implications of their behavior for others (e.g., if your child teases another child
because they wear glasses, explain that wearing glasses helps the child to see better and remind them
that teasing can hurt another's feelings).

Encourage children to talk about their feelings and the possible reasons for their emotions.

Help children learn conflict management skills. Peer relationships are becoming more important at this
age, so conflicts between children will likely arise. Help children learn how to manage conflicts
effectively while preserving the peer relationship. Act out pretend peer interactions with children to
show how conflicts can be resolved, depending on how children handle the situation.

Adolescents: 12 to 18 years

Adolescents are interested in talking in-depth about themselves and about their relationships with
others. They want to understand who they are becoming and what others think and feel about them.
Children at this age want to talk about how they are different from their parents, and they are beginning
to recognize that their parents are imperfect people.

Adolescence is a time when children typically act more negative and have more conflicts with their
parents, and they spend more time alone and with their friends and less time with their families.
Recognize these signs and encourage adolescents' efforts at communication:

Be sensitive and responsive to the adolescent experience. Each adolescent is going through major social
and physical changes; practice putting yourself in their place when you find yourself disagreeing or
growing impatient.

Use conversation as an opportunity to keep up with adolescent activities and relationships. Stay
interested, and gently ask questions and seek explanations for their behavior.

Although adolescents strive for independence and separation from the family, you can best maintain the
relationship by providing a balance between expecting personal responsibility from them and offering
consistent support.

Be flexible. Seek to understand the adolescent perspective first before trying to be understood yourself.
Maintaining the adult-child relationship is perhaps the most helpful thing you can do to support the
adolescent through these years.

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Recognize that they are developing ideas that might differ from your own. Unless these ideas place the
adolescent in danger of harm to self or others, accept their beliefs as an example of their developing
individuality.

References

Listening Skills taken from Listening Skills | SkillsYouNeed

Critical Thinking taken from https://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/defining-critical-thinking/766

The importance of critical thinking for young children taken from The importance of critical thinking for
young children - MSU Extension

Open ended questions taken from https://www.questionpro.com/blog/what-are-open-ended-

questions/

Communicating Effectively with Children taken from

https://extension.missouri.edu/publications/gh6123

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