Topic 7: BECOMING AN INSTRUMENT OF PEACE

LEARNING OUTCOMES
At the of the lesson, the students must be able to:

 Demonstrate awareness in the practice of discipline (mind, physical, behavior, speech)

 Develop strategies in classroom mediation and
 Practice mindful living and peace of mind.

INTRODUCTION

A. “DISCOVER PEACE”
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be
felt with the heart.

-Helen Keller

Patricia Mische (200) explains that the transformation that we should seek should not only be
the transformation of our society, but also the transformation of our spirit because the inner
transformation inspires the outer work. She concludes that the “inner and outer transformations are
inseparable parts of one whole”. This perspective is repeated many times over in both the secular and
faith-based peace literature. There is a growing consensus that, indeed, there is an intimate connection
between our inner state and what we do in our outer spheres. This consistency is the foundation of
being a fully integrated person.

ABSTRACTION
Understanding the Concept
The statement in the preamble of the UNESCO’s Constitution, “Since war begins in the minds of
men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses of peace must be created” provides a guiding principle
for this theme. Learning to BE means to learn to live peacefully with oneself. Peace can be experienced
within ourselves. Inner peace arises out of intrinsic inner richness such as compassion, spiritual joy, and
wisdom. The significance of beingness is the state of mind where a person experiences the joy of whole
some living.

Peace as Resolution of Inner Conflict

At the superficial level of mind, inner peace can be experienced through resolution of
psychological conflict. Conflicts can be either external or internal. In fact, most of our conflicts are
internal, i.e., within ourselves. Various psychologists have described the nature of inner conflict.
According to Sigmund Freud, the mind is a battlefield where the life instinct is in the clashes with super
consciousness and soon.

Further, Kurt Lewin showed that we have three basic types of inner conflicts. They are:
1. APPROACH- approach conflict

In this type of conflict, a person is caught in between two equally attractive objectives out of
which he can select only one. An example would be the choice between two equally attractive jobs.

2. AVOIDANCE- avoidance conflict

Here the person tries to avoid two equally undesirable objectives where he is forced by
circumstances to select one other than selecting one. Say that a person gets two jobs, which are equally
unattractive. But under the circumstances he is pressed to select one.

3. APPROCH- negative conflict

In this type a person is both attracted and repulsed by the same objective. He wants something
for a certain reason and at the same time he does not want it for some other reason.

Erick Erick’s on postulates that man’s psychological growth results from the healthy resolution
of inner conflicts. According to him in each growth stage man is confronted with a basic psychological
conflict. Inability to resolve that inner conflict blocks his further growth and even leads to pervasive
behavior. This has been proven by the studies on many criminals and terrorists. Some of them had been
led to adopt violent ways of life because of the inability to resolve their inner conflicts such as deep
hurts experienced during childhood. It is evident that a person who is unable to live with himself in
peace cannot live in peace with others. How can we help children to resolve their inner conflicts?

SELF-KNOWLEDGE
To resolve one’s inner problems, first one must learn to look within and observe how the mind
works. The problems distressing the mind must perceived and understood. The more you understand
yourself the more you mature psychologically. Helping children to look within and understand the self
is an important life skill. The gravity of this need in education is evident by the kind of immature acts
people commit throughout the world. Much disruptive behavior of people arises out of their
unresolved deep inner conflicts. Obviously one who cannot live in peace with oneself cannot live in
peace with others.

SPIRITUAL NEEDS
This theme addresses our spiritual needs. By spirituality we do not mean here being religious in
the conventional sense. Peace in one’s life arises from the deep human spirit that underlies all faiths.
Peace education deals with the depth of the human mind. Touching the seat of spirituality is necessary.
Here by spirituality, we mean that essence rooted in man, which seeks for fulfillment through expressing
and experiencing goodness in the highest degree. It drives us to do good, be kind, search for the true
meaning and values lying deep within us. The present education has failed even to recognize children’s
basic needs. Children’s spiritual needs are delicate and strong. They want to experience joy, beauty,
love, warmth, kindness, and wonder. They want to feel good. Education should cater for these children’s
spiritual needs. Depriving them of such needs surely withholds the blooming of their wholesome
personalities. Inner peace is not only resolution of psychological conflicts. All religions teach that there is
still deep peace within us. As a matter of fact, all of us know that when the mind calms down a serene
feeling of joy and peace begins to unfold within us. One of the effective ways of realizing the peace
within is meditation as taught in all religions. However here we take it not as religious practice, attached
to any belief system but as an open mental activity. The research findings show that meditation
develops mental sanity, releases stress, and improves creativity and insight. A meditation may be either
tranquilizing or insight-producing. One can practice tranquilizing meditation by sitting still and
concentrating on breathing in and out.

Self-image is also a construct of imagination. It is how one imagines one’s own self. One a self-
image is built; the person tries to live up to it whether it is negative or positive. Teachers must help
children to build positive self-images, not only by right appraisals but also by encouraging, providing
stimulation and opportunities to express themselves.

Through meditations, soul appealing, and meaningful imaginary experiences could be evoked in
children using their natural sense of wonder, curiosity, and beauty. Meditation in the conventional sense
is an act of awakening to reality or truth. But children have come to reality walking through their veil of
imagination. For them it is the stepping-stone to attain reality. Various forms of meditation for children
could be developed to use in the classroom as education tools.

PRACTICING AWARENESS
Meditation in true senses is an act of establishing awareness, i.e., being aware. The synonyms for awareness
are being alert, mindful, attentive, etc. it is basically a survival life skill. Take for instance, the function of awareness
in an act of crossing a busy road. A moment loss of it may take away one’s life. Thus, awareness is a basic function
of intelligence. We must be trained in being aware of dangers in our surroundings. Be it home, school, playground,
or road. Awareness brings self-control, composure, and sharpening of attention.
The second level of awareness is being mindful of the movement of the body, i.e., how you walk, sit, eat, etc.
It develops one’s sensitiveness towards the body.
The third level is being mindful of the activity of the mind. That is when you are angry know that you are
angry, when you are confused know that you are confused. This is a subtle level of awareness. Awareness helps us
to overcome an inherent weakness of the human mind. We are inclined to be carried away by our own desire,
anger, and illusion. Most of the inner conflicts arise out of the lack of self-understanding.
VARIED WAYS OF HOW TO MEDITATE:
 Take the class out to an open air or quite place. Let them sit quietly and listen to the sounds in the
environment. This helps to develop awareness towards the surroundings.
 Make them sit quietly and repeat in mind “I am a peaceful soul.”
 Watch a tree with a silent mind.
 Sit quietly and concentrate on breathing in and out. Look at a flower and concentrate on it.
 Imagine a beautiful natural scene.
 Imagine a trip in a strange land or garden.
 Sit quietly and experience the feeling of a noble human quality, such as kindness and joy.
Apart from experiencing inner calm and beauty of imagination, meditation opens the door to understanding one’s
own thought process. It is this self-knowledge that brings emotional maturity in us. As educators we must find
effective methods of helping children to understand themselves better. (Balasooriya,2001)
 B. “RESOLVE CONFLICT NON-VIOLENTLY”
LEARNING OUTCOMES
At the end of the lesson, the students must be able
to:

 Define conflict;
 Analyze a conflict in terms of the needs of
the parties;
 Value constructive conflict resolution and
 Explain the steps of effective conflict
resolution.

INTRODUCTION
Being willing to resolve a problem does not mean you aren’t right. It means you give up making
the other person wrong, by wiping the slate clean and make a fresh start with each other.

-Helena Cornelius and Shoshana Faire

ABSTRACTION
Conflict is everywhere. It is a part of life. In fact, it is on the increase in our time. This is because
of the increasing individual differences and diversification of the society. On the other hand, competition
in economic, political, and other fields is intensifying. With the increasing population, physical space and
resources are getting restricted. In such a background, we must learn how to live amidst conflict, handle
and resolve them constructively. This theme concentrates on educating children in conflict resolution.
We can begin the discussion by attempting to understand its nature.

DEFINITION
How do you respond to the question “What is a conflict?” You might say it is:
  A difference of opinion,
 A clash of wants,
 A situation that arises from a disagreement,
 Between two persons or several persons,
 A broken relationship and
 A vicious competition against one another.

It is true that conflict arises from a difference of opinion. Inability to resolve conflict at the
beginning leads to complication and intensification. In the process of escalation of conflict your friend,
colleague, or neighbor with whom you have the disagreement, turns gradually to be your rival,
opponent, antagonist and finally the enemy. The initial open and beginning, becomes gradually tense
and hostile.

CAUSES
Why do people get into conflicts? It is because of the other person’s way of behavior. When two
or more people are at conflict their interests may be concerned with:

 Commodities at stake, e.g., object, land, money,

 Opportunities at stake, e.g., opportunity for grain, privileges,
 Principles and values at stake, e.g., religious beliefs, ideologies, cultural values,
 Territory at stake, e.g., house, land, physical space, road, status, and
 Relationship at stake, e.g., trust, promise, personality clashes.

You can take any conflict you know and identify the interest perceived at stake by the parties. It
may be one interest or combination of several interests. Ross Stinger (1967) defines conflict as “a
situation in which two or more human beings desire goals, to which they perceive as being obtainable
by one or the other but not both.”

According to the definition, a conflict is made of three components. They are:

1. Situation where the conflicting parties view each other as competitors, or having mutually
competitive interests or wants;

2. Attitudes, e.g., leading to hostility and frustration and

3. Behavior, e.g., threatening, descriptive, egoistic, opposing, withdrawing acts.

This model of conflict is simple and useful in analyzing a conflict. (Michell 1981)

Can conflicts be constructive?

As we said earlier, experiencing a conflict is unpleasant because of the tense feelings it

produces. Intensive conflicts are associated with a food of anxiety, confusion, suffering and negative
emotions. However, this state of mind can be transformed into a positive state with a sense of
challenge, efficiency, and strength. It depends on the way you look at the conflict. If you look at it from a
constructive attitude, then you feel positive. To have a positive attitude towards a conflict is to take it as
a challenge and opportunity for development and self-correction. Next time you are confronted with a
conflict, ask yourself. What are the opportunities it can bring for me? How can I develop myself through
this situation? What is the learning it brings for me?

Conflict become destructive simply because of the lack of skills in handling them. If they are
handled properly towards positive results, it will bring growth and renewed relationship, sense of fun
and self-confidence. Recall a conflict you have resolved constructively. Destructive conflict occurs when
the value of the conflict is not understood and when you react with negative emotions to it.

In a constructive approach to conflict resolution:

 Control your negative emotions.

 Listen actively.
 Speak efficiently.
 Deal with the other, as a person with a problem, need and human reaction.
 Face the issue directly and precisely.
 Separate the problem from the person and adopt a problem-solving approach.
 Show understanding and be understood.
 Be willing to change your position in face of facts and reason.
 Use a sense of humor.
 Generate alternatives acceptable to both you and the other person.
 Speak to the point.
 Use interpersonal skills.
 Be persistent.

Steps in Conflict Resolution

Our general tendency when confronted with a conflict is to attempt to win, by defeating the
other. This pushes the other person also to adopt the same approach. Consequently, a destructive
competition emerges out of the situation.

There are four possible solutions to any conflict. Let’s name the two parties in a conflict as A and
B. The possibilities are:

A B
1 WIN DEFEAT
2 DEFEAT WIN
3 DEFEAT DEFEAT
4 WIN WIN
It is easy to understand possibilities of (1) and (2) when one person wins, by defeating the other. In the
third possibility both parties are defeated. An example for it would be a situation in an organization
where two officers assault each other and as a result both get sacked. The ideal solution is the fourth
possibility where both parties win. That means they resolve the problem in such way, that both are
satisfied. But that does not necessarily mean you win on your own the predetermined wishful way. In
the course of negotiation for solving the problem each party has to give up certain things in order to
gain other things. Only then can they arrive at a common ground. The conflicting parties should co-
operate with each other by adjusting their positions to reach a solution, satisfactory for both of them.

In a conflict, the solution is reached by undergoing three basic stages:

1. Confrontation

2. Negotiation

3. Implementation

Let us see the way to work towards a satisfactory solution through the three stages.

Confrontation is the stage when the difference surfaces. As a consequence, the parties feel
disturbed and are even threatened in their position. However, it is easy to discuss the problem openly at
this initial stage. In this stage they can:

1. Define the problem in terms of needs of the people involved.

In this context, it is important to know the meaning of the word “need”. At the core of any
conflict lie the needs of the conflicting parties. In fact, a conflict is a two or more sets of needs pulling in
different directions. Whenever a person finds that his need is threatened, the natural reaction is to be
defensive. Fear is inbuilt in defense. Thus, need and fear go together.

One day I burst into anger with the station master; when he announced that the train was
delayed. It was the first day of my examination. Instantly fear arose in me that the delay of the train
might lead to failure in the examination.

Every need generates a fear of possible loss. To understand a conflict, you must identify the
underlying needs and fears of the others as well as your own. However, people’s needs are mostly
covered up by their wants. A want is different from a need. A want is born out of desire. In other words,
a want is a wishful intention, whereas a need is real, in the sense that you can’t survive without it. For
instance:

 1% are thirsty, and you get angry with the village shopkeeper for not having your brand
of sweetened drink. In this instance what is your need? In fact, your real need is water
to quench thirst.

In the above situation you have confused want with need. The implication for conflict resolution
here is not to get upset by people’s demands or their wants. See through their wants and identify the
needs underlying them. Each person in conflict must identify one’s own needs as well as other’s needs.
For this you have to avoid blaming and use such expressions like:

 “What I need here is ……..”

 “I feel upset when you behave this way, because ………..”
 “Tell me what your real need is?”

2. Agree with the definition of the problem with the other party

A conflict cannot be resolved unless the parties come to a common definition of their problem.
For instance, they should agree to what the exact problem is. For example, in a conflict with someone, I
say one thing and the other says another thing as to what the conflict is. Then we cannot solve it. This
situation is obvious in any ongoing conflict around you.

Negotiation is the process of reaching a common and fair agreement on a solution to a problem
affecting two or more parties. In negotiating, you ask questions for getting to know the problem from
the other’s side and trying to explain your side. Having thus established the understanding both of you
try to find a win-win solution. In negotiating you ask questions to steer the negotiation on the right
track. You may seek specific clarifications on the issues and the needs of the other person.

Active listening is an important skill in negotiation. Active listening involves giving your full
attention to what the other person is saying, feeding back, encouraging deeper probing, supporting the
other person’s attempt to find solutions, and summarizing what is said.

3. Brainstorm possible solutions for both.

Find with the other, the alternative solutions extensively to the problem. Don’t get fixed to your
position demanding the only way you want to solve the conflict. Take away the other person also from
his fixed position by exploring of alternatives solutions, which are agreeable to both parties.

4. Select the best solution for both.

Taking the alternative solutions one by one which the parties can evaluate them eliminating
those that they consider unacceptable. The evaluation of alternatives goes until they come to one
alternative most agreeable to both. Implementation is the final stage.

5. Implementation solution.

This means planning, setting agreed time target and acting according to the agreed term of the
solution.

6. Evaluate implementation

Find out how it works in practice and how people feel about the solution. Perhaps the parties
may need some adjustments as the implementation takes place and the original problem might change.
However, if the parties are not satisfied as things go, they can restart negotiation.

In the procedure of conflict resolution, you need skills in active listening, assertiveness, conflict
analysis and negotiation. Through the above sequence of steps seems formal, in a particular situation
they may be mixed. However, to reach a solution in this manner both parties need to be honest,
respectful to each other on an equal power basis. They must be willing to arrive as a consensus and co-
operate with each other in finding a satisfactory solution.

Children’s world of conflict

Children are not free conflict. A teacher needs to know the nature and types of conflicts that children
have. In helping them to learn conflict resolution the teacher can take examples and cases from their
conflicts.
Conflicts at homes
 Jealousies among the brothers and sisters, by:
 Comparing with each other on what they get from parents.
 Problems of equal treatment, privileges and
  Personal rights.
 Problems arising from carrying out their responsibilities.
 Inability to deal with anger, negative comments, and violence.
 Deprivation of parents’ love.
 Deprivation freedom to play, meet friends and express oneself.
 Deprivation of physiological needs, e.g., food, proper shelter, owing to low income.
 Problems with elder brothers or bigger kids in the neighborhood.
 Drunkenness of father disturbing peace at home.
 Instance of child abuse, e.g., severe punishment.
 Separation of parents.
 False accusations.
Conflicts in school
 Name calling
 Being snubbed/being teased
 False accusations
 Fear of being unprepared, e.g., not having a pencil, not ready with homework, not having
read the lesson.
 Misunderstanding by teachers. Negative remarks by teachers. Being cheated by a peer.
 Being deprived of opportunity to participate in activities that the child likes.
 Inability to buy things that the school requests.
 Physiological problems, e.g., hunger, low energy. Exclusion by peers.

The classroom should have open sessions where students cab freely discuss and express their
conflicts and problems. Unfortunately, the traditional school is too busy to take into consideration this
lively aspect of children’s growth. (Balasooriya,2001)