APPRECIATING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Personality Development

Emotional Intelligence (EI)/Emotional Quotient (EQ)

 The ability to acknowledge, realize and handle emotions in ourselves an others.
 Intelligence Quotient (IQ) – measures logical thinking and systematic intelligence.
 Studies show that personality, communication skills, negotiation skills, leadership and people
skills make up of 85% of financial success.
 EQ can be developed and sharpened overtime
 EQ is important for teenagers in:
handling anxiety, undertaking big school subjects, managing anger, parental/friend conflict, dealing
with fear --to improve quality of life

COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

 Taken from Daniel Goleman’s EQ model
1. SELF AWARENESS
a. Emotional awareness – ability to interpret & identify your emotions and acknowledge the effects
to your performance and
relationship with others
b. Self-confidence – strong and positive sense of self-worth
c. Accurate Self-assessment – knowing your strengths and
weaknesses & how to build and overcome these.
2. SELF-MANAGEMENT
a. Self-Control – ability to keep troublesome emotions & impulses
under control.
b. Adaptability – flexibility to adjust to changing situations &
overcome challenges

c. Transparency – uphold standards of honesty, integrity &

manage yourself & responsibilities

d. Initiative – readiness to grab opportunities and act on the deed.

e. Achievement – guiding determination to attain internal standards

of excellence
3. SOCIAL AWARENESS
a. Empathy – being sympathetic to others & take active concern
in their problems
b. Service Orientation – acknowledging & granting customer needs
c. Organizational Awareness – ability to interpret the flow of the
company, build networks and sail across the politics
4. RELATIONSHIP-MANAGEMENT
a. Visionary Leadership – ability to inspire & lead individuals and groups
b. Conflict Management – ability to resolve disagreements & develop
resolutions
c. Build Connections/Bonds – ability to further & maintain relationships
d. Develop Others – ability to strengthen & support the abilities of
others through feedback and guidance
 e. Teamwork & Collaboration – ability to encourage cooperation &
build teams
f. Change Catalyst – ability to introduce new ideas & lead others to a
new direction
g. Influence – ability to implement convincing strategies with integrity
through clear listening and communication skills
ABILITIES OF OUTSTANDING LEADERS
 Based from Daniel Goleman
 80-90% of these competencies are distinguished from outstanding and average leaders
1. Ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses, moods and to THINK before acting
2. Ability to recognize and understand their moods, emotions, and motivations and their effects on
them
3. Ability to understand the emotional temperament of others and the skill to treat others according
to their emotional reactions
4. Passion for working for reasons beyond money, status and the skill to pursue goals with energy
and determination
MOST IMPORTANT EQ SKILLS FOR ADOLESCENTS
1. RECOGNIZING AND HANDLING EMOTIONS
Understanding feelings correctly ( not just, “I’m ok” or “I’m fine”)

Identify if you are nervous for a test, hurt when rejected by love interest-to
pinpoint source of feelings – to give you options to resolve the problem
Allow ample time to study or talk about your feelings with a friend or a
reliable support system.
Without awareness feelings are vague and lingering with the source being
unidentified. – as such they turn to alcohol, drugs, tend to overeat,
withdraw, become depressed or numb to emotions
2. CULTIVATING EMPATHY
Ability to recognize that others have feelings too and you need to be sensitive of other people’s feelings.
Some teenagers have difficulty in interpreting the emotions of others.
Sometimes neutral comments can be mistaken for hostility or insult.
Empathy – to feel how one feels in that particular situation
3. DEVELOPING A COOPERATIVE SPIRIT
School activities reflect the competitive outlook present in our society.

In reality, the importance of teams & ability to work harmoniously with others is increasingly
emphasized.
Cooperation enhances unity, good relationships, communication, recognizing individual differences,
strategy-formulation to achieve a common goal.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO DEVELOP YOUR EQ

1. Observe how you react to people. – look honestly at how you interact with people. Put yourself
in their place and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.
2. Be humble. – humility is a wonderful trait. When you do not seek recognition for work done
means you know your work & can be silently confident about its quality and value. High EQ people
give others the chance to shine.
3. Do a self-evaluation. – Discover your strengths & weaknesses.
4. Be accountable for your actions.
 5. Record your emotional responses to events.- take time to recognize how you feel about your
experiences. Do not ignore your feelings.
6. Listen to your body – Be alert to physical symptoms of your emotions.
Stress – lump in your stomach/tightness in chest/quick breathing
Sadness – might make you feel lethargic
Joy – pleasure/nervousness/rapid heartbeating/burst of energy
7. Monitor how your behavior & emotions are linked – listen to your instinctive reactions to
situations you encounter everyday instead of reactions without any thought. The more you
become aware, the higher your EQ will be.
8. Refrain from judging your emotions – All emotions you have are legitimate, even the negative
ones. Every emotion you fell is a piece of useful information associated with what’s happening
around you. This will equip you to react to various situations.
9. Notice patterns in your emotional past – It is one way to pick up things about your own feelings
and how they are associated with your experiences. When you feel strongly about something,
think back when this emotion was last felt. When you recognize patterns, you can control your
reaction.
10. Relate with other people – Open-mindedness is an agreeable trait of High EQ. No one wants to
deal with people who contradicts or is negative about everything. Be sensitive and understanding,
it is easier to handle conflicts in a relaxed manner.
11. Improve empathy skills – Being able to know how other people are feeling and responding to
them accordingly. Be an active listener and pay close attention to what people are saying so you
can get a clear idea of how they are feeling.
12. Study people’s body language – try to read between the lines of what and how people say things
& identify their true feelings.
13. See the effect you have on others – reflect on you attitude towards others. Be open and ready
and ask trusted friends/loved ones what they think about you and where you can improve.
10. Relate with other people – Open-mindedness is an agreeable trait of High EQ. No one wants to
deal with people who contradicts or is negative about everything. Be sensitive and understanding,
it is easier to handle conflicts in a relaxed manner.
11. Improve empathy skills – Being able to know how other people are feeling and responding to
them accordingly. Be an active listener and pay close attention to what people are saying so you
can get a clear idea of how they are feeling.
12. Study people’s body language – try to read between the lines of what and how people say things
& identify their true feelings.
13. See the effect you have on others – reflect on you attitude towards others. Be open and ready
and ask trusted friends/loved ones what they think about you and where you can improve.