SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

Lesson 5: Resolving and Transforming Conflicts

Aims and Learning Outcomes:

1. Explain the nature

and sources of anger
and how to manage
it.
2. Apply the strategies
and techniques of
anger management
for one’s own self or
This picture is taken from inc.magazine.com
of others’
3. Make use of the different problem-solving approaches in particular issue

The Reality of Conflicts

Human beings come from different walks of life. Their upbringing or backgrounds, their
cultures and beliefs may differ even if they live in the same community. Because of this, we
could say that conflicts are inescapable. If improperly handled, they can have undesirable
results.

In the larger setting, many conflicts have become violent which have resulted to the loss
of lives, destruction of property, disruption of economic and cultural activities, disruption in
the delivery of socioeconomic services,
exploitation of civilians especially women
and children, and economic losses, among
others. In the interpersonal ground, conflicts
have caused anguish and stress among
disputants. Unmanaged conflicts have also
caused relationships to break apart.
This picture is taken from rappler.com
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

Fortunately, conflicts can be managed and resolved constructively. If handled well,

parties in dispute may find opportunities to improve their relationship and grow from
experience. Resolving conflicts constructively is a skill that can be taught and learned. It is
our belief that if humans are trained how to handle their interpersonal conflicts positively,
such skills may be carried on to higher levels of human interaction.

What Is Conflict?

In the earlier part of this course, we have discussed that conflicts arise when one’s
actions or beliefs are unacceptable to — and, are, hence resisted by the other (Forsyth, 1990).
The word conflict came from the Latin word ‘conflictus’ which means striking together with
force. Conflicts may come in dyads to larger societal conflicts as mentioned earlier.

Why Do Conflicts Arise?

National and Global Levels Immediate Settings

- Territorial disputes - Misunderstanding, Misperception

- Ethnic and religious animosities Miscommunication
- Ideological and power struggles - Different behaviors; Unmet
- Social injustice expectations
- Search for statehood - Incompatibility of ideas, opinions and
- Trade and market competitions beliefs, values, goals and interests
- Contests over economic resources - Distrust; Competition over material
(Wehr, 1979) resources; Coercion; defense of honor;
desire for revenge
- Need for attention and appreciation
- Intolerance; a lack of empathy
- Power struggles in group situations

What Prevents Us from Resolving Our Conflicts?

There are many factors that may prevent us from resolving conflicts:
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

 The experience of strong emotions such as fear, pride, anger and desire for revenge.
- When these powerful emotions are present, it is difficult to process information
objectively.
 Indifference or apathy is another obstacle to conflict resolution.
- People sometimes show a lack of concern or interest, whether deliberately or not, for
the situation.
 Others feel helpless or hopeless,
perhaps, because the situation is
discouraging or the other party is a
person of authority.
 The lack of communication
between disputants, or the absence
of it, may also be a hindering factor
in conflict resolution.
 There are also situations when
This picture is taken from completerx.com conflicts are not resolved because
of provocations from sympathizers who, with or without meaning to, “fan the fire”
and aggravate the situation.
 There are also situations when people perceive the problem-solving process tedious
and stressful and hence shun it.
 Dialoguing with an adversary also requires a great amount of courage and often we
find ourselves lacking in audacity to face the “enemy”.

What Is Anger and Its Effects?

Anger is one of the more commonly

experienced emotions when parties are in conflict.
Anger is not merely irritation or disappointment but a
combined feeling of disappointment, anxiety and
indignation that signal our body to prepare for a fight. It
may take the form of verbal or physical attack, rage or This picture is taken from Busy-mon.com

animosity. It can be destructive when we express it in a way that will create harm, hatred or
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

alienation. It is not uncommon to hear

stories of people getting killed or hurt
after an angry exchange.

Anger may also cause adverse

effects on our health. Anger sets of the
surge of stress hormones which can
damage arteries and heart muscles that
lead to irregular heartbeats. These excess
hormones can constrict blood vessels
disrupting plaque, jams the artery and
triggers heart attack. Anger can also make
us sick when it is repressed. Unexpressed
anger drives our blood pressure up when
our muscles are tightened (Spielberger, as
cited by FoltzGray, 2002). Anger turned
inward may also cause hypertension or
This picture is taken from www.TheQuotes.net
depression (http://www.apa.org).

Anger can also be destructive when we can no longer function normally. Our routine
is disrupted, or we become less productive. Our ability to think clearly is compromised. This
destroys our ability to positively continue on with our work or studies putting our careers or
goals in peril.

How Do We Manage Our Anger?

Calming our anger is a better alternative to discharging or suppressing it. When we are
angry, the brain signals our pituitary glands and nerve endings to produce adrenaline. The
surge of adrenaline into the bloodstream gets us ready for a fight. Here are some ways to
change the form of our anger:

 Recognize that you are angry. Awareness of the emotion that you are currently
feeling can help cool it down.
SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

 Distance yourself from the situation. Leave the anger scene. Changing environment,
albeit temporarily, will help calm you down.
 Release anger physically
in indirect forms:
- Shout and let it out in a
place where no one can hear
you
- Hit a pillow, a punching bag,
a mattress or anything soft
to reduce adrenaline level in
the hands This picture is taken from verywellmind.com

- Draw or paint your anger out. Release the stress hormones by using forceful strokes
- Walk, run, and swim vigorously
- Hit the gym. Exercise. Under pressure, people who exercise have lower levels of stress
hormones and small increases in heart rate and blood pressure (Reyes, 2006).
 Relaxation Techniques
- Breathe deeply many times while
saying a calming word or phrase like
“relax”
- Paint pictures in your mind of
happy thoughts and experiences
- Go for a massage

This picture is taken from auralcrave.com - Do meditation techniques

 Calm Your Mind
- Talk to yourself. Think of alternatives to your anger as well as consequences if you
explode (e.g., what will happen if I explode? What other options do I have?). Instruct
your energy hormones “adrenaline” and “noradrenalin” which rushed into your
bloodstream in excess to “keep cool”. Convince yourself that yes, you are angry, but you
can handle it. Another simple tool is to instruct yourself to stop being angry, whether
aloud or silently.
SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

- Interrogate yourself. Williams (as cited by Foltz-Gray, 2002) suggests that we ask four
questions whenever we are angry: “Is this important? Is my anger appropriate? Is the
situation modifable? Is it worth taking action?” Such evaluation, according to Williams,
transforms the face of anger into something rational.
- Count to 10 before reacting. If you feel that you will still explode after number 10,
continue counting.
- Change your thought
processes. When we are
angry, we think of our
adversary in the worst
possible light. We resort
to blaming (e.g., it is
This picture is taken from healthline.com
his/her fault); labelling
(e.g., s/he is a horrible person); embellishments (e.g., s/he does this to me ALL THE
TIME); mental filtering (e.g., there is nothing good about this person); interpretations
or conclusions (e.g., s/he does not like me); and speculations or attribution of malice
(e.g., s/he did this intentionally to malign me). All these bring about a great deal of
suffering. Changing the way we think can help change the way we feel. Hence, instead
of making interpretations and speculations of the adversary’s attitudes or behaviors, try
to alter these negative thoughts with more positive ones (e.g., s/he probably did not
mean to hurt me). Altering cognitions is a cognitive-behavioral technique which argues
that if we can change the way people think,
we can change their emotional reaction or
behavior (Houston, 1985).
- Put it in writing. It will help you organize your
thoughts and think clearly.
 Therapeutic Techniques
- Multi-media fax: Turn on the TV and watch
an entertaining show. Go to the movies.
Listen to music.
- Play a musical instrument This picture is taken from clipartmax.com
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

- Sing or dance
- Take a shower or a long bath
- Take a cold drink
- Stroll in the park or in the mall
- Tinker with your PC. Blog, chat online, or download an entertaining video clip.
 Spiritual Aids
- Lift it up. Pray for patience, understanding and the will to forgive. For example, the Bible
tells us to forgive “seventy-times seven”. Forgiveness, according to the Center for
Dispute Resolution, does not mean condoning the act. Rather, it is an act of releasing
ourselves from the pain we have experienced at the hands of others.
- Visit your place of worship. Offer your anger.
 Social Support
- Talk to a family
member or a friend
- Get a hug from a loved
one
- Cuddle your pet
 Redirect Energy.
Clean your room or
house, redecorate
your place or tend to This picture is taken from verywell.com

your garden. • When applicable, turn your anger into humor. Instead of exploding,
crack a joke or endeavor to turn the edgy situation into something light.
 Cry it out. Crying is therapeutic. It allows the body to eliminate damaging stress
hormones.

What Are the Main Options in Dealing with Conflicts?

In dealing with conflicts, there are two variables that are normally considered by
disputants. One is the relationship with the adversary. The other one is the importance of the
issue at hand. Below are some options people choose from when they are faced with
conflicts:
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1. Move away. Avoid the situation or withdraw. This option is normally chosen when the
issue is trivial or when the person in conflict believes that s/he has no power to change
the situation. (FLIGHT)
2. Move against. Win the battle. Tis option is taken when the issue is important, the
party thinks that s/he is right and is bent to prove that, or s/he has the power to
achieve his/her goals. (FIGHT)
3. Give up or give in. Tis option is taken when goal is to preserve harmony in the
relationship. It is also taken when the other party recognizes the validity of the other’s
viewpoint. (ACCOMMODATE)
4. Give half. Meet in the middle. Tis option is reached when both parties cannot get what
they want fully and are willing to give up part of their goals. (COMPROMISE)
5. Move towards. Dialogue or collaborate with your adversary. Tis option is taken when
both issue and relationship are important to the parties; hence, a mutually acceptable
solution is sought. (FACE/COLLABORATE)

This picture is taken from redbooth.com

What Are the Steps in the Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach?

Many people find it stressful to dialogue with an adversary and choose instead the
path of avoidance. Others are too angry and take the path of aggression. Surveys made by
the Center for Peace Education among its workshop participants, mostly students and
teachers, revealed that the path normally taken is avoidance. Of 267 responses gathered
from the question “What option do you usually take when you get into a conflict,” 37% of
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

responses point to “moving way” from the adversary as a strategy, 9% opted for aggression,
17% claimed that they would talk to their adversary and 36% would give up, give in or do
coping techniques such as talking to a friend. If both issue and relationship are important to
the disputants, moving towards the adversary or problem-solving is the ideal option. In the
next page are steps to a problem-solving approach.

What are Some Tips to a Good Dialogue?

For the problem-solving process to flow peacefully, the following guidelines may be
observed. Some of these tips are taken from AKKAPKA (1987); Johnson and Johnson (1995);
Fisher and Stone (1990); and Ruiz (n.d):

Dialoguing Tips:

1. Speak in a gentle, non-threatening

manner.
2. Think carefully of what you are going to
say. Do not make the situation worse by
angering the other person.
3. Use the I-message. Begin your sentences
with “I” to illustrate how you feel about the
situation. “You” messages tend to be This picture is taken from whisperingwindsblog.com
blaming or reproachful.
4. Admit your own responsibility to the conflict. Such will soften an otherwise positional
stance.
5. Avoid using hazy statements and global words such as “always” and “never”. Be as specifc
as possible.
6. Be willing to tell the other person his/her positive attributes. Tis will help create an
atmosphere of trust and openness.
7. Show positive regard and respect. Do not call names, blame, humiliate, characterize or
judge.
8. Do not give in to the temptation of returning hurt for hurt. As Gandhi had said, “an eye for
an eye will make the world blind.” Instead, paraphrase, clarify and explain your situation.
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

9. Be tough on the problem, not on the person. Make it clear that it is with the behavior or
ideas that you disagree with, not the person.
10. Don’t take anything personally. Instead, become aware of the wound the person has let
out in the open, be grateful that s/he helped uncover it, and take responsibility in healing that
wound.
Listening Tips:

1. Actively listen. Show that

you are hearing his/her point of
view.
2. Listen with empathy and try
to stand in the shoe of the
other.
3. Accept criticism of your ideas
or behavior. This does not
mean rejection of you as a
person.
4. Paraphrase and clarify when
This picture is taken from East Valley Tribune
needed.
Collaborating Tips:

1. State your needs or interests, not your demands.

2. Deal with issues one at a time.
3. State repeatedly your positive intentions to solve the problem.
4. Be solution-oriented. Prepare realistic proposals for a solution. Look for solutions that are
good and fair to both sides.
What is Mediation?

Ideally, two people with a conflict should be able to resolve their problem through a
face-to-face dialogue. However, disputants sometimes find themselves lacking in courage or
skill to handle a problem-solving process. This is where an impartial third party can come in
to help disputants reach an agreement that is mutually beneficial and workable. The
mediator can use the problem-solving approach described above in mediating conflicts. S/he
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

should make sure that the dialoguing tips previously discussed are also observed. These
dialoguing tips can serve as ground rules for the mediation process. There are characteristics
or qualities essential to a good mediator. Mediators have to be impartial to establish trust
among parties in conflict. They should be non-judgmental and understanding. Mediators
should be flexible and creative. They should know how to reframe situations and broaden
perspectives. Mediators should
be good at analysis as this will
help in recognizing causal
relationships and in
distinguishing interests from
positions. (Positions are the
demands of the parties while
interests are the underlying
needs or reasons for the
demands.) It would be good for This picture is taken from entrepreneur.com

mediators to lead parties into focusing on the interests as this opens up the possible
alternatives towards a solution. Mediators should show regard and concern for the parties in
conflict. They should also be trustworthy and optimistic. They should anticipate a positive
128 Third Edition outcome and influence adversaries with such hope. In the event that the
procedure does not succeed, they should encourage the disputants to try again.

What is Conflict Transformation?

Conflict resolution can be too focused on

addressing the issue. It is important to
note that the relationship is also
important as the issue at hand. Mending
the relationship can be facilitated by a
change in the disputants’ outlook and
attitudes. Conflict transformation is a
higher goal compared to conflict
resolution (CR). Lederach (2003) explains
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

that conflict transformation involves changing the way parties look at issues, behaviors, and
people or groups. Transformation must take place at both the internal and structural levels.
It emphasizes the importance of building right relationships and social structures. At the
personal or internal level, Lederach explains that the recognition of feelings such as fear,
anger, grief, and bitterness on
the part of the parties in conflict
will help them to understand,
grow, and commit to change.
These emotions must be dealt
with, for effective conflict
transformation to occur.
Transformation of the person
and of personal relationships
makes possible the
transformation of structures. Structural changes, in turn, facilitate personal transformation.
Goals in settling disputes should go beyond resolving the issue. The target should be the
building of creative solutions that improve relationships. Applying this in the school setting,
schools’ discipline programs should go beyond sanctions. Constructive strategies to resolve
conflicts among students (“ending something not desired”) and to transform disputants’
relationships (“building something desired)” are options that are doable and more peaceful.

References:

Note:

This part of the module is mostly extracted from the book “Peace Education: A
Pathway to Culture of Peace - 3rd Edition (March 2019) by Loreta Navarro-Castro &
Jasmin Nario-Galace
 SOCSCI 2 PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT

Exercise 23: Sharing of obstacles to conflict resolution.

1. Recall a conflict incident that you were involved in but were not able to resolve. What
hindered you from resolving the conflict? Share your experiences through a reflection.
2. Think of their personal conflict resolution style in relation to the topic covered in class. How
did your style affect your relationships? Write down at least three implications of your CR
(Conflict Resolution) style in your relationships and how do feel about these.
3. Draft rules for a peaceable classroom where conflicts are effectively managed and resolved.