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Analysis of Strokes AND Life Positions

The document discusses four life positions - "I'm not OK, you're OK", "I'm not OK, you're not OK", "I'm OK, you're not OK", and "I'm OK, you're OK" - based on a theory of life scripts. It then provides more details on Ernst's grid which diagrams these positions and how people may move between positions based on experiences. The rest of the document discusses developing social and emotional skills through self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills. It provides tips for improving social skills such as engaging with others, starting small, asking open-ended questions, observing coworkers, and practicing maintaining eye contact.

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Joanne Mae Montano
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258 views20 pages

Analysis of Strokes AND Life Positions

The document discusses four life positions - "I'm not OK, you're OK", "I'm not OK, you're not OK", "I'm OK, you're not OK", and "I'm OK, you're OK" - based on a theory of life scripts. It then provides more details on Ernst's grid which diagrams these positions and how people may move between positions based on experiences. The rest of the document discusses developing social and emotional skills through self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills. It provides tips for improving social skills such as engaging with others, starting small, asking open-ended questions, observing coworkers, and practicing maintaining eye contact.

Uploaded by

Joanne Mae Montano
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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ANALYSIS OF STROKES

AND
LIFE POSITIONS
The Four Life Positions

A theory that arose from life scripts is


/

the notion of four life positions (Berne, 1962).


’
These are:

‘I’m not OK, You’re OK’

‘I’m not OK, You’re not OK’

‘I’m OK, You’re not OK’

‘I’m OK, You’re OK


There are different ways of diagramming
these positions

Ernst’s grid (1971) is one of the most


popular and useful.
The OK Corral: The Grid for Get-on-With
 Named the ‘OK Corral’, Ernst's grid displays
within four windows our positive and negative
views of the world, those around us and
ourselves.

 Although having a preferred position we revert


to, people will move around the grid depending
on influences and experiences from situations
that life throws along the way.
‘I’m OK, You’re OK’ 

The ‘I’m OK, You’re OK’ person gets on


with others and may be described as
confident and contented within their
work, home and life as a whole, mutually
respecting others thoughts and opinions,
even if they disagree with them.
‘I’m OK, You’re not OK’

The ‘I’m OK, You’re not OK’ person has been


decided on within the second or third year of
life.  They tend to be angry, showing
hostility, viewing others as incompetent and
not to be trusted from a superior position,
belittling them with competitiveness. 
Without much conscience, they view faults
within situations are due to others, and not
themselves.
I’m not OK, you’re not OK

With the I’m not OK, you’re not OK position,


a sense of abandonment is felt during the first
year with strokes either few and far between
or non-existent which may lead to confusion
and a sense of pointlessness, so simply stops
trying to bother at all.  Depression and
withdrawal can conclude with mental
institutionalization.
As soon as the process of script writing
starts, we write conclusions about the
world around us, ourselves and others. The
basic framework of our scripts are born
from messages, influences and interactions
with our parents and parental figures via
verbal and non-verbal messages.
DEVELOPING SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL
SKILLS
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
-How we manage ourselves

consists of:

1. Self-awareness – knowing your internal states,


preferences, resources and intuitions.
2. Self-management – managing one’s internal state
impulses and resources.
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE

-How we handle relationships

consists of:

1.Social awareness – awareness of others’


feelings, needs and concerns.
2.Social skills / relationship management – ability
to create desirable responses in others.
How to improve social skills?

Improving your social skills can benefit you


in every area of life. Social skills are
important because they can help you
communicate more effectively and
efficiently. As a result, you’re able to build,
maintain and grow more meaningful
relationships with colleagues, clients and new
contacts alike.
Here are ways to develop your social skills:

1. Engage with others


Find ways to further conversations with friends,
family and close coworkers or practice your
conversation skills by asking open-ended
questions. Similarly, set a small goal for yourself
to offer at least one project or business
strategy at your next board meeting.
2. Start in small ways
Start developing your social skills in small ways by
engaging with people you interact with on a daily
basis. For instance, if you are out shopping, you
might reply with a question instead of a one-word
answer when a checkout clerk asks how your day is
going. Similarly, you can find ways to lengthen
conversations with acquaintances or practice your
conversation skills with long-distance relatives you
speak to less often.
3. Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions can be an effective way
to get others talking. It can help by allowing you
insight and understanding into your friends, family,
colleagues and even your superiors. When you engage
with an open-ended question, it can help them feel
validated in their thoughts and emotions, and this can
have a positive impact on how you build relationships.
Oftentimes, coworkers may appreciate being asked
open-ended questions, since it shows you are taking
interest in their ideas. Try the following open-ended
questions: “How do you feel about…?” “Can you tell
me more about…?” “What do you think of…?”
4. Observe your coworkers’ social skills
Another step toward developing your social skills is
to observe your colleagues. Take notice of
nonverbal communication, body language (such as
smiling and nodding) and the vocabulary they use
to get a conversation going. Consider what makes
your coworkers’ social skills effective and engaging.
You can refer to these observations and
incorporate them into your own communication
skills.
5. Practice maintaining eye contact
Practice maintaining eye contact during
conversations. Consider setting a goal to make and
hold eye contact for at least three to five
seconds each time you engage with someone. You
might practice with a close colleague with who
you feel comfortable. Let them know you are
trying to improve your ability to maintain eye
contact. Practice holding eye contact during the
beginning of the conversation, when listening to
your coworker speaking and while thanking them
and closing the conversation

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